728 AITA for asking my partner to stop telling me 'lower your volume'?

I'm joined by friends Mollie and Dina to discuss some situations! Happy mon mon hon hons :) 

(0:00) - Banter
(20:38) - AITA for asking my partner to stop telling me 'lower your volume'?
(32:29) - AITA for not letting my co-worker use my lotion?
(49:27) - AITA for leaving dinner early after my bf's friend called me "the current one"?

Dina: https://www.instagram.com/wildcardyogi_/
Mollie: https://www.instagram.com/mollielollie2/
me and Selene, Mollie's late, dear husky: https://www.instagram.com/p/CSLHRndFKqv/

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, everybody, Welcome to at Pod. I'm Dandy Vega. Joined
today by two new guests to the show, single name girlies,
Dina and Molly. Hi. Mollie does build into the lore
here as you are a friend of Andy my brother.
I don't know if you know. Do you know that Andy?
Andy and I always say Andy my brother, Danny my

(00:24):
brother for years that's what we did, but we updated it.
It was now changed. Now it's like you don't say
it on the hello and just randomly shut the shut.
I hate Carl Arms. Now it'll just kind of randomly

(00:44):
be like, hey man, what's up? What's that? Hey man?
You're my brother.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
That's really cute.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
What's happening you guys?

Speaker 1 (00:53):
I guess I knew what was funny about it is.
It's just like it's like bad exposition almost. I like,
you know, like nobody would ever say that, but we are,
so I like it, my brother.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
It slows you down. Yeah, this is the whole point.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
And you and Andy once had a podcast together about
analyzing dream not even a little bit. Why am I
about that?

Speaker 3 (01:18):
I don't know, it's gonna say, you're I did listen
to one episode and I did an episode you did
an episode.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yeah, didn't I do an episode?

Speaker 3 (01:28):
I don't remember.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Oh my god, what was it called?

Speaker 3 (01:30):
You did journally fine?

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Journals? Well journals? Oh and the journals? No, that's why. No,
you're fucking gas lighting me. It was your dream yeah,
or somebody had done.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah, yeah, but they journaled about their.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Dangers yeah something. Yeah, okay, my bad.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
So we would take our old journal entries or a
guest journal entries and then we talk about them or
oh no, we would do improv based on them.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
I like the awesome bring it back. Okay, So let's
get into your story first mine. Yeah, god, you ask,
we can get into Yeah, I have notes, it's fair.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Okay. So, in preparation for this podcast, and I used
to be an avid listener, and I still love this podcast,
but I said, let me listen to some recent apps
so that I can really get in the mood. So
I listened to the episode titled a I t A

(02:26):
for staying up late talking to individuals. But that's not
what I want to talk. Later in the episode, we
get to a different situation where opiece Ope's sister in
law is going on a vacation with husband and asks

(02:48):
their sister and op to come babysit there toddler, and
they book their flight. They go, and then it turns
out that watch the hand. It goes blocking the hand.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
She's blocking the camera with her hand. That sounded aggressive,
go ahead. Yeah, So basically they were asking way too much. No, no,
I'm saying I sounded aggressive. They said they were asking
way too much of the OPE, right, They were saying,
pay your flight and babysit.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah, but I mean, we don't need to get into
the details of it. But it sounded like OPE paid
for the flight and then expected to be reimbursed, which,
in my opinion is everyone should have said what their
expectations are. However, that's neither here.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Nor there fair enough.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Danny gave an example, Yes, I said. The example he
gave is, please, what if someone asks to pet sit
your husky? For example? Yeah, A few sentences later, he said,
and the friend was like no, no, And then Danny says, quote,
have you ever met a husky? And then a few
sentence sentences later, Danny also says, a husky is a

(03:55):
lot though I want to talk. I had a husky.
Correct the husky to rule all huskies.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
The best Amen that's right.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
May she rest in peace? So we actually should.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Rest in peace. And you are wearing her name around
your neck.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
No, she was my sole daughter and she Yeah, she
had a big personality, not a typical husky personality. Is
that true, Yeah, because huskies can be like bouncing off
the walls. She was very chill, but she was very
stubborn like a husky, and she spoke sometimes and she
was opinionated it.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
I met her at the end of her life, so
I think she was a little.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
Bit more calm, but she was always calm.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
She was summarizes experience as I work.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
For her totally, and that was my experience loving her
as well. She was in charge. She was my parents.
She's a wolf too, and she's her bark incredible. She
sounded like she smoked one hundred packs a day. She's
a little amy wine house. She was such a queen. Okay, anyway,
and please correct me on the details of this story, Dan, sure,

(05:05):
so don't be shy. I recall, so Danny had just
moved here, and Danny's younger brother is my bestie bestie,
and so Danny and I started hanging out and at
some point I was going away to see my family,
and I asked Danny, if you and this is the
detail I don't remember. I thought that I asked you

(05:28):
to watch Celene for free, and the agreement was kind
of vague where you said you'll you'll in exchange for
some favors, which actually sounds so insane, but I'm going to.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Give the details.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Nothing was written, certainly, there was no contracts.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
My recollection was that you agreed to shoot two videos.
So yeah, that was it basically, or.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Like yeah, any favor whatever you wanted or not, like yeah, yeah,
there's some question.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
There was specifically that you would shoot two of my videos.
Was at the time I was shooting the videos where
I walk around places like Ikea or whatever.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
I remember there being an issue, and the issue being
that it was vague. There was an unending like we
didn't establish. It was just too and so I remember
when we had an intense conversation, I said, well, when
is it going to end? We didn't establish what the exchanges. Anyway,
Danny very kindly watched the most precious and important yes

(06:26):
being in my entire life, and I assume that will
remain the same for the rest of my life. And
I am indebted to him forever.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
No, that's not true.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
I'm appreciative forever, okay, But we had a little bit
of a splintering falling out after that because I think
Danny felt a little taken advantage of Is that correct?

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah? I mean I think you're doing okay, go on,
let me see where you finish.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
That's kind of it. But when you gave that example
and that you were thinking of me and.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Selene, well yeah, I mean I remember that, but I.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Don't When you gave that example in that episode, were
you referencing this.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
I was referencing that if someone had left me with
Celeene for an extra day, which you did not do.
And I'm sorry if it came off that way. What
because in that situation, oh, you know what, I referenced
it again. Sorry, I'm mixing. I referenced it a lot
because I have cared for another dog that was a pitbull,
and honestly, it was kind of forgettable. Celene was like,
that was what I did that week? I had the husky?

(07:26):
I had the husky? I I was it the husky.
We walked three times a day. I did not feel
like it was optional. You got one warning bark and
then it's like it's time to go. Yeah, the walks
were long, and like I can't explain it, Like the
dog just exerted pressure, Like she doesn't want to go
on a short fucking walk, bro, And she'll have a

(07:46):
stand she doesn't want to. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
By the way, if you're walking a husky three times
a day, they better be long walk.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
But let's I think I think you're you're being very nice.
But I think so. First of all, I don't want
to relitigate with you at all. I would love to though, Well,
I think the truth is a little bit I I
you know, I fell for you. I think that's fair. Okay,
I fell for you. You were understandably creeped out.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
I creeked out.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Well, it got it got complicated. Can we say that?

Speaker 3 (08:12):
Because your brother is my best friend and I wasn't
going to bring yes part of the damo.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
But to me, this is the core of it, because
it got complicated between us. Fair to say it was
like we're having argument. It was getting complicated. It was
getting emotionally complicated. There's my brother, There was all these
other aspects, and I want to say, you know, I
wasn't in a good place and we were hanging out
constantly as well, like we would see each other every day.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Yeah, and I'm an intense friend.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
By the way, are an intense friend? Okay? Good.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
I'm like, I hang out one on one and like we.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Would hang out one on one in extremely low lighting,
sitting on your couch staring into each other's eyes. Whoa,
yeah we did that.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
That's kind of my vibe. I'm like, people come over
like one person at a time. It sounds so creepy.
I smoke weed. I keep my lights low when I'm
alone as well.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
And I'm not saying you did anything wrong.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
And my face is very viby and and romantic.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, sure, yeah, And and so I I'm sorry though, because.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
And I make good eye contact, settled law.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
I'm not mad. I hold nothing against you. I think
it was I was really lonely. I was really lonely,
and I think that's why it was, you know, so
intense for me and hard on me.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
So okay, Well, now the listeners know the lore. If
Danny ever brings.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Up the Husky situation, know the lore.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
I the listeners need to know that I'm friends with
Molly separately from Danny, and as long as I've.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Lived in LA part of the lore.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
But so that's the thing though, I didn't know this
about either of you guys I Danny tells me about,
Like Danny is one of my only friends here. I've
known you guys about like the not only, but.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
Like Anny, are both little social better f.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
I know, it's funny, that's why we get along.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
But I, on the other hand, I hang out one
on one with people in my dimly lived.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
The dimmest lighting.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
But I've known both of you like the same amount
of t time since I've lived in Los Angeles, and
I hear about all of like the whether it be
through your.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Stand up everything.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
I feel like I know, like your background stories of
all the girlies you've had crushes.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
On and stuff. I didn't know this separately. Yeah, there
were two. You were the first, and then there was
this hinge girl. This what this one's even possibly?

Speaker 3 (10:19):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (10:19):
There were two two girls, two girls that I fell
hard for. Now you don't know some girl.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
See that's the thing though, like we you know that
I know Molly and you never told me that, and
you know that I'm friends with you. Tell Yeah that's true.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
I mean, well you're.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
I hope you didn't think that I was going to
bring that part up in this conversation.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
You know, it was. It happened, and I'm happy that
we can be cool about it. Yeah, we work through it.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
I would never.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
I'm happy you're here. I'm happy we talked through it. Yeah,
I mean I I guess I do have some shame
about that era, because yeah, I was just so lonely,
and I think nothing dangerous. Yeah, that's thank you.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I mean in Los Angeles, it's dangerous.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
I don't think our age difference is that that major
that it would be. You know, I've been in situations
where I can say I was taken advantage of by
an older person. To me, this was not that.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
I just feel like I wasn't my best self with it,
and that was it.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
I wasn't either way.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
I feel like I wasn't really me, And I think
that I've realized looking back, like when people are really lonely,
like we're desperate, we're literally like we're out there starving,
and like you will eat twelve hot dogs when you're starving,
and that's not a good meal, that really isn't. I
don't don't try that, you know, so I guess like,
I'm sorry I ate all your hot dogs. I was starving, like.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
But I didn't say you couldn't have my hot dogs,
So I don't think you were.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Giving me the hot dogs only lit room slow feeding.
Yeah dogs.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
I'm sure I was lonely too, and I was happy
to have a friend. Yeah, and I'm sure I also
fed off the vibes.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yeah, that's I'm really impressed with you. Yeah it was.
I feel like we're still society. I have a theory
that we're like really still not healed. Like I feel
like we don't even talk about it even enough, like
because we don't want to talk about it. And COVID. Oh,
all of this came in the wake of COVID where
people are like fucked up, Like I feel like the

(12:23):
loneliness epidemic and stuff. It's like part of it is structural.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
But twenty one, Yeah, you're right, we do kind of
like bury the COVID era, like nobody talks about it.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
I had my heart broken during COVID, Like I was
not in the best place at that time either.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
The collective wasn't. So it's not your fault. Thanks, we
were collectively rocked and raw. You know, speaking of this,
I actually I'm actually happy we ended up doing this
first because my little rant kind of has to do
with this. And you know, I do socialize a lot,
and I'm so grateful for like having cultivated a lot
of friendships. And we've it's come up on this pod,

(13:00):
the term pick me, and we've talked about this before
and yeah, I've just noticed it with certain people. And
by the way, not and I'm not gendering it. It's
men or women. And to me, what a pick me
is is defined by it's someone who is always going
to come to a big group event and they're not
gonna bond with anyone of their same gender, and they're

(13:22):
just or or yeah, they're they're always going to fixate
on basically getting dates. And for me, it's like really
frustrating because it's like, oh, so you just think this
is a fucking meat market. It's like, you're not going
to try to contribute to this group. You're not going
to be trying to actually be a friend to anyone.
You're just here to get your fucking rocks off and
find someone interesting. So, yeah, how is that? How's that ringing?

(13:43):
You guys kind of stared at me blankly sod that
come off to mars.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
I don't think it's harsh. I feel like, for me,
when I define a pick me, it's somebody who wants
to be seen, like by the opposite sex or whoever
they're into in general, like whoever they're attracting sexually. They
want to be like I'm I'm the coolest, I will
do anything like I'm here, like to be desirable and
always be on as desirable.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
So, yes, it makes sense. Okay how you're saying winds up.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yeah, but I feel like to say that it's a
pick me thing to just come to events for that.
I mean, I don't think that part fits in, but
definitely pick.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Me fel finds up perfectly. It does. Yes, you're fixation.
It's like, well, what about your your fellow brothers and sisters?
You don't care about that? No, I only care about
being desirable to the opposite Yeah, because I want to
go home with Hey, you're quiet.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
I think what you said is an example of pick me,
But I don't think all pick me falls into that example.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, yeah, it's broader, okay, sure, sure.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
And I think a pick me person is more concerned
with being attractive than they are with like connecting with
other people.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Yeah, yes, agreed.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Are we saying that I was a pick me in
our situation?

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Someone, Well, you said it related, So I think relates
because that I had said that I fed off the vibe.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
So I think that's fair to say.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Okay, I wasn't trying to level that at you.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
To me, I feel like Danny was being the pick me.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
And the way it relates to me is well, first
of all, I think we were both chronically lonely people.
It was it was, it was a tough time. It
was a tough time. It was a bad situation. What
I'm talking about more is I think a learned pattern
of behavior, which is what I'm talking about, is people
are looking for social fulfillment. We are social animals. We
are monkeys that hang out. Bro and some of us

(15:33):
have in our head the idea that what you are
looking out there in the trees is for a single
other monkey of the opposite sex to hang out.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
With, well, not necessarily of the opposite sex.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
Or whatever the sex. Well, I mean I had that
thought that the gay the gay males are not ever
like that. They're friends with all the girls. So that
like yes, in my in my friend groups. But anyways,
the point.

Speaker 3 (15:56):
Being picked me in that you can be a pick
me and be gay.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
Anybody can be pick me, yeah, anyway. But my point
is that you know, it's that the pick me comes
from thinking that that's what you're looking for, and it's like, no,
you need to be looking for this broader thing, which
is a group, a sense of community, a sense of
connection to something bigger than yourself.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, because if you're wanting to be attracted exactly, like
if you're at like we had a party a few
weeks ago, if you're not a pick me, you're talking
to everybody, You're not like, oh, the girls are in
the corner and I'm the dude here and I'm going
to go to that group of girls and start talking
about like how I am a I am an actor,

(16:37):
I do this, I do all the things that the
girlies are going to be like, Oh that's hot. I
do comedy, I do this, I'm getting into stand up
and they're like, oh, another funny guy, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
But only to the girls.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Because there was also a time where there was girls
and guys, but you couldn't find this pick me in
the group of the girls and the guys that are
not talking about the things that somebody's going to think
is sexy, you know what I mean, they're talking about
stuff that's happening in the world or whatever. You're absent
for those conversations, but you're there to be like, look
at me, I'm the person who you should want to

(17:09):
come home with.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Then to let it's like that's all they do, and
like you're not like that. You always help me. You're like,
let me make drinks. You're contributing to the event, and
that to me shows like you're willing to help out
and build this like bigger thing with me. And so
for me, the pick me is kind of a taker
that just is at the meeting.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yet I also want to say, I think you can
be a pick me in a non romantic setting, like
I think pick me is want their ego stroked, and
you can be a pick me with friendship as well.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Okay, well, I don't know what that guy.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
Example of, Like, if you want a friend to like you,
you can act the exact same way a pick me
person might act if they want a person to like them. Again,
it's like selling yourself as like I want people to
like me, like.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Oh, I love yoga, right because you guys both do yoga,
so yeah, oh I love you. No, I have so
much respect for yoga people like just hitting it too hard?
Is that you mean?

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Yeah, maybe you're just yeah, trying to s mark it
yourself as likable instead of connecting with people and like
actually listening to what they have to say. Instead, you're
just like leading with these other reasons why I'm amazing.
And I think you can do that in a platonic setting.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, Like you find out that you want to be
friends with me and Molly, and you find out that
we're both yoga girlies, and then now all of a sudden,
you never come to a yoga class, you never do anything,
but you know all the like lore, oh, you you
find and you google whatever is there.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
You know, Like, I don't know if it's a mistake. No,
I swe what you say. It's like manipulative, but it's fake.
It's shallow, it's shallow fakeness rather than showing with your actions.
I feel like it's well, that's kind of what Danny
is bringing. But I think picked me.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
I think of like I'm not like other girls.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, I think that too.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
That's what comes to my life.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, like I'm going to pretend to be interested in
what you're interested in.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, well, but I mean they kind of or they
kind of like tend to relate because I'm.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
Not like other girls what football or whatever? Exactly what
I mean.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
And you're also saying like, I'm not like other girls,
So like, I agree with you. Boy, the girls are
wow girls like yeah, really shitty. So anyway, that's that's
the pick me rant. Guys, we got a great.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
Is that it?

Speaker 1 (19:06):
I think we got it.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
I think we hit a lot of different angles totally.
You know. The Picknes listening right now are.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Like, fuck, they got they got me on every like.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
I got to start actually contributing to Friendship.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
It's worth it. There should be a commercial for Friendship.
Isn't that what the movie that just came out?

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Uh that called that is pretty much vote no.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
No, I don't think so. I have a lot of
qualms with the movie. I haven't seen it yet. Okay,
it's if you like Tim Robinson, you gotta see it,
and I do like him, but as a movie, it
has a lot of problems. Oh I said it. Our
second story at for not letting my coworker use my lotion.
Oh my god, I picked Please rate review, subscribe to
me on Patreon two hundred fifty plus bonus episodes. We

(19:51):
just dropped some major juice on the bonus with these girlies,
and yeah there's tons of it. Please join, guys, Please,
I beg you. I know you guys complain there's two
any ads. I'm so sorry. I don't control the ads.
Guess what on Patreon? Zero ads?

Speaker 3 (20:04):
Can I say? When I heard it on your podcast
when I was listening, It's like, go, Danny.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
You know what, guys, if you go on to Instagram
and dm me, I will give you one month free
on Patreon. Yeah what is do? Yeah? So dm me
on Instagram. I'll hook it up. Yeah, come on, it's
worth three free.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
You gotta binge those episodes.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
I know. Well, mom, can you not tell them to
that we're trying to I'm trying to get them to
subscribe totally.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
I mean it's impossible.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
I'm not giving you a month free. Give our first story, folks.
Ai t A for asking my partner to stop telling
me lower your volume. Sometimes when I get excited about
a topic, I naturally start speaking louder than usual, not shouting,
just louder than normal conversation. Thing is, I don't realize

(20:53):
I'm doing it. When this happens, my partner will often
interrupt me mid sentence to ask me to lower my volume.
I don't think they mean in a rude way, and
I understand they probably just want the combo to stay
at a comfortable volume. That's fair. But every time it happens,
I feel demoralized and a little self conscious. I lose
my enthusiasm and no longer feel like talking about the
thing I was excited about. Even if they don't mean

(21:14):
it harshly, it still feels dismissive and discouraging. I've tried
to explain how it makes me feel, but they still
keep interrupting me. Aiita for wanting them to stop interrupting
me like that? Or do I just need to accept
that I should keep my volume in check?

Speaker 2 (21:30):
This is a bar okay, I've been in her shoes.
I'm middle Eastern, I'm loud. It's just the thing that
we have, and I've had boyfriends.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Keep on data. I have this experience with you.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Good because it does hurt my feelings like it's hurting
hers I've had before where like I've been told like,
you're being really loud, and I'm like, I didn't feel
like I was being loud, and it does it bums
me out where I'm like, oh, like you just kind
of like quieted me down. And then there have been
moments when like, granted, like I'll be like a little
bit drunk, and I think anybody who drinks and like

(22:02):
gets a little bit of that social lubri can't can't
go a little bit louder. And I've heard my voice,
a tone of voice go loud in those moments. But
the times that the guys I've dated have told me
I'm really loud, and it's like we're not arguing.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
I've never really loud.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Oh, I think I clearly it's happened.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, I think it's because I've been told so much
that I tone it down and I overthink it, which
is like sucks for me. But at the same time,
it's that's me abandoning myself so that I'm not like
being loud in someone's ears. But yeah, it kind of
it sucks to be told that you're quiet down, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
It makes sense to be self conscious when you and
I've been told to quiet down, and it like it
is a jarring that said, I think it's a valid
thing to say when said correctly, lower your volume is
so crazy and like rude. My brother gets very animated

(22:56):
when he speaks, and he is like my whole life,
I've observed people be like stop yelling or whatever they say,
and it's like it's not nice and it's hard to,
like you said, to continue saying what you were saying
when someone says that to you. But now I observe
my brother's wife when he gets a little animated. I
can't even think of an example, but the way she
like just gently, it's like so tender and so sweet,

(23:21):
and I think there's a way to do it, Like
I get ready to do it. I get overstimulated by
sound too.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
I've I've used this tool to not success. But he's
a well it doesn't work on drunks. So the Dodger
statum's right by me. So a couple of people here
in this building are drunk after the game. They're being
so loud. It's eleven thirty. Like I was just annoyed
by it, but I'm just like, yeah, there's kids that
live here, they're sleeping. It's like a school night, bro,

(23:48):
and so they're screaming in the hallway and I was
just like, hey, have a good night, which is kind
of a hint, so funny. The whisper passive aggressive. I
kind of feel like it's just like sending a message.
I mean, is it's.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Passive aggressive in a way that I can help. I
think that situation is so different though.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
Well they didn't they didn't hear it at all, and they.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
Just kept they're not your partner and they're not talking.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
To you telling important Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
I think those are two completely different situations.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Yeah, let's maybe start let's start out of really let's
start out a neutral context, which is let's say we're
at a party, and I think let's talk about the
time when this is kind of a tough fie for me.
It's like there are people who are like kind of performing,
does that make sense. It's kind of like they're speaking
so loudly. It's like they want other people to hear.

(24:41):
And I do feel like that's kind of a valid
note to give someone a little because it's like at
a party, it's it's a little bit okay because I mean,
you're at a party, people are supposed to go in
between groups. You know what I mean. Oh, I'm calling
this conversation. It makes sense. So I feel like in
that case, it's like kind of shitty to be like, hey,
like quiet down, or you're being really loud because it's

(25:04):
a party. They're not really doing anything wrong. But let's
go to a restaurant. Let's go at a restaurant. It's
kind of like, dude, like people aren't here to join
your conversation. You're broadcast waiting online. Yeah, waiting exactly. You're
waiting online. It's like you're honestly just making this unpleasant
with your shit.

Speaker 3 (25:22):
M h. I think there's a nice way to say it.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Okay, what's the nice way?

Speaker 3 (25:27):
Well, I don't know. We can come up with it
as a group, but.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
I think the lower your volume is a problem. I
think that's the very nice volume.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
It reminds me of like what a teacher would say,
like what's that? Was it a vine or was it
a TikTok? Where that guy has like the green screen
of a school bus behind him and says, the volume
on this bus is astronomical, and it's like a I'm
like I've had teachers say that to me, that's the
energy of lower your volume. I've been in a car

(25:56):
with my brother before where his voice is like bouncing
off the walls, and I will, well, without thinking, go
to lower the volume of the car and then tell him.
I'll say, hey, I just want to make you lower.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's also passive, aggressive.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
And so not nice. There's a way to be like.
I think saying you're yelling is not nice. I've said
that before. We can come up with a nice but
I think, like I get over stimulated by loudness. I
also get embarrassed when strangers can overhear my conversation.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, let's go to that version, okay, because that's the
one where I'm like, it's very easy to be like
because some people are very self conscious, which is good
some of those people around. Yeah, yeah, because self.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
Conscious, especially when you're the person's running their mouth.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
And they're running their mouth, well, being self conscious can
be good. You need to be aware of like where
you are depends where you are, but like, yeah, you
know so, But sometimes people are projecting their own embarrassment
and that's the problem, which is why I feel a
clean way to say this is like, hey, I'm really sorry.
I just I feel self conscious totally with the volume
of your voice. That feels pretty fair.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
That's a nice way to because.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Then i'd be like, oh, yeah, I don't want you
to feel that way, or.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Do you mind talking a little quieter?

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Yeah? Yeah, adding to that well, because that way it
comes from you, Whereas if you go I feel like
everyone here can hear you.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
I'm like, yeah, I've definitely said that before.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
It's like kind of shitty because it's like, did anybody,
But if you're reporting, you're like, hey, just you know that,
Like the table over there keeps looking over here. I
think we're bothering them. I'm like, that's play for it.
That's just a fact. Yeah, that's reporting.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
I don't think lower your volume is a loving way
to speak to your part.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
What's a command? I think so either commands or.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Usually very condescending. Yes, it's very I'm I'm the teacher
on the school bus, and I'm going to tell you
all to lower your volumes.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
People. Buses are getting a lot of play for this situation. Really,
that's pretty valid because those motherfuckers loud. They are interrupting
mid sentence. That's rude. That's rude.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah, but also if what if they're getting overwhelmed, like
what if you're really shouting? I think there's a way
to just be like, I am sorry, do you mind
speaking a little quieter?

Speaker 1 (28:03):
That was good.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
I like that if it's an emergency, even if they're
mid sentence. But I think interrupting saying lower your volume
is really off putting.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, and it's aggressive and hard to come back from that.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
I like what you said, It's it was quick.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
A touch is empathetic, especially if.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
You're like you're part with them.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Yeah, yeah, like a stranger. I'm cool.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
It's all good, but I love you, but please.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
Yeah talk comment wat no assles here, and Chris seventeen writes,
My family and I tease each other about something like
this all the time. We call it the self awareness rule.
Now that you know when you get excited you talked
a lot, you can be more aware of it and
then try to keep your volume lower, take a breath
when you feel yourself getting too excited, or even practice
volume control by being silly with it and whisper your
exciting things.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
But that's not always going to happen. Sometimes you need
to be told by someone else that's fair. And I
think talking about projecting like sometimes the not always Like
I think if someone says lower your volume, sense to
feel a little like shameful. Yeah, But if someone kindly
is like, hey, do you mind speaking a little quieter,

(29:06):
and you feel that way, that might be your own
like insecurity.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Projecting, Yeah, that's true. I mean I think the times
that I've been told it, it was never nice. Like
I had a ex boyfriend tell me like, I'm hurting
his ears and I was like, ooh.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
That's mean. That was mean, and it was like it
really sucks. Wow. Yeah, it's brutal at an ro one rise.
I get it. You're happy to be speaking to someone
who cares about something you care about. However, speaking as
someone who's partner is the same as you in this situation,
it's hard to be sad trying to engage with someone
they are essentially shouting in your face. To you. It
might not seem like you're shouting, but trust me, from

(29:43):
their side, you really are. And the natural human reaction
to being shouted at is negative. I'll give it to
no assholes here because you don't mean it, But if
you are stubborn, I'll push you into the asshole territory.
My god, I kind of feel like this is correlated with,
though not the same thing as being talked at, and
that's frustrating.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
Yeah, yeah, that's true. It's like, and I still think
two wrongs don't make it right. We are being talked at.
Their response is not necessarily to be rude.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
It's hard to deal with someone who's taught.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
It's hardly perfect.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
Having a conversation. You're gonna explain that to an adult.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
It's like, I agree with you, and I don't think.
I think it's easier said than done. However, I do
think saying it in a rude way makes you the asshole.
And in this situation, also, it doesn't sound like op
is talking at the person. It sounds like they're in
a lively and maybe I'm projecting, but to me it
sounds like lively conversation. Op gets a little animated, and

(30:44):
that's just like a like you said, it's a way
to quiet them down. Were you silent or were you silenced?
They were silent?

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Drops today you are?

Speaker 3 (30:54):
That one is Oprah, the.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Rare Oprah, Oprah nasty on those bangers. What the other
one is? What about the people talk to quiet. Those
people kind of drive me crazy too.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
Got the Quiet Talker Seinfeld episode Can Hear You?

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah, like they were probably told to bring the volume
down too much.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
There we go and we're asking my partners stop telling
me to lower your volume. This sounds mean, It sounds
like it's mean. This is a tough one though, because
the other thing is, I think there's people who do
this a lot because they're desperate for attention and friends
and they're losing everyone because it's like impossible that have
a conversation.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
But even more reason to speak to them compassionately so
that they can receive the feedback.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, yeah, you gotta go for it at some point. Yeah,
but like if I mean, yeah, there's some people around
that do this, and I'm like, yeah, I'm not going
to explain to a thirty five year old to pipe down.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, but you can say can you please speak a
little more quietly?

Speaker 1 (31:50):
You're just not going to speak to them.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Oh that's fine too, That's literally fine.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
An isolation trap because.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
It's like, fine, that's not your responsibility problem. But if
this is your partner, especially when this is your romantic partner,
there's a way to communicate with each other.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
I also think, let's say that this is a thing
and they are really being really obnoxious. I think this
is a great thing to just put in a little
box and then when the time is right, be like, hey,
can we talk about something that's just kind of been
bothering me? Sometimes you get really loud. It just makes
me comfortable. Hey, Dave asking my partner stop telling me
lawyer volume. I think all things considered, we are at
not the asshole and they are. I mean, yeah, all right, folks,

(32:27):
I'm excited for this one. Hey, Ida for not letting
my coworker use my lotion. I twenty five f work
in an office on a team of ten. I have
a lotion that smells like fruit loops that I use. No,
it's probably I know which one it is. I feel it,
and often I leave it out of my desk. I

(32:48):
normally let coworkers use it if they ask. The rule
is that if that it's on the desk, they could
ask to use it. Yesterday, the day this happened, I
opened it to put some on my arms. This lotion
has a very strong scent. A different coworker, thirty's m
who sits very close to my desk very kindly asked
if I could use a different lotion, as he was
starting to get a headache and strong smells can exaggerate them.

(33:09):
So I closed the lotion and use one that has
a bit of a scent. But he said previously that
it doesn't bother him. I should have put it away,
but I'm so used to it being on my desk
that I just really didn't even think about it. Now
for the main part, I have another coworker, thirty f
who I don't quite get along with all the time.
She was walking past my desk and saw the lotion.
She asked if she could use some. I said no.

(33:31):
She said it was rude of me to not let
her use it, since I let everyone else use it
all the time. I told her that's true most of
the time, but today's different. I then go to put
the lotion away since I remembered the rule. She said
she can't believe I think she would steal it. I
told her I don't think that I'm putting it away
so no one else asked. I also told her that
she wanted to use the other lotions she was welcome to.

(33:51):
She kept asking me why I was being so difficult
and telling me I should just let her use the
one she wants and to quit making a big deal
about it. I told her I had a lot of
work to do and lightly asked her to leave me alone.
She said she'll just use the one I offered in
place to the one she wanted. I said, fine, handed
to her and went back to my work. She slammed
the bottle down and walked away, mumbling about she doesn't
like that smell and now her arms are going to

(34:12):
be dry.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yeah, your own goddamn lotionhit.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
I had a few other coworkers come up and ask
what she was so mad about. I told them to
just leave it alone. I might be the wrong because
I could have easily just explained that someone had a headache,
but I didn't feel like blabbing someone else's info. I know,
I know, and then went and told everyone who's going
to read this that someone I work with had a headache.
But y'all don't tell me or my coworker. She could
have immediately known who it was, and that felt wrong. Ata.

(34:35):
I feel like they.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
They they should have explained, hey, this the scent is
bothering someone like that's not And they also said like
they don't get along with this coverak. It seems a
little like like you weren't just you did that. Yeah,
you weren't doing it, you knew.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Bull.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
Also this person sounds so annoying. Yeah, that you have
a rule about your lotion at work. If it's on
the desk, you can ask me. If it's on the desk,
you can't ask.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
I will say I related a little bit because like
I always bring cookies to the co working space. I'm
never I try to be never precious about it. You know,
obviously take as many as you want, like whatever.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
I don't want to be police people asking for something.
You have the right to say no if they ask
you for.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Well, yeah, so I made vegan cookies. And the thing
is I never make vegan cookies, so I wanted the
vegans to get them. So then I just felt like
kind of a narc being like are you vegan? Like
I like that. It felt shitty because then I had
to kind of like ca.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
You know, I think that's nice. I think that's very different.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Very different. Actually, I think it's veiled hostility. That's my issue.
It's like you she intentionally with hold that information is like, well,
I just didn't want to share. Someone's such a good
person you wanted to fuck with her. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
Also, like it's not an intimate thing to share, and
you don't have to say Danny doesn't like it. Just recently,
someone gave me feedback that this smell gives them the
headaches and try not to use.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
It at work.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
Also, put it away, Yeah, bring it home.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
You had it out. The rule is a rule. You
broke your own rule.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
The rule is so ridiculous. You broke your own rule.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah, yeah, I mean.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Also the rule being about when people can ask you
for something is insane, Like I don't I think op
is so annoying.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Yeah, but that's not the cost my share. Don't Yeah,
literally share it?

Speaker 3 (36:27):
Don't.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
It sounds like, don't it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
I have lotions that I would not want to share,
and I have lotions that I do share. When I
bring stuff to the studio and I have things and
I tell everybody when I'm at the desk, I'm like,
if it's here and it's not inside my purse, Like
if I have it sitting next to the computer, help yourself.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
And if I don't want you to help yourself, then
it's going in my purse or in my lock.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
And you're an adult and if someone asks for it
and it's a way, yeah, you can say no. And
that can be that.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
They're telling me now that the little beads I like
those little beads in there, old animals.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (37:01):
The tiny little beads like it's greatly away the dirtiness.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
I have one, no idea what you're talking.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
They are plastic, some of them, but most of the
time there's some that on sugar scrubs.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
No, they's folliot.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
They are made of like little like plasticky things.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
I have no idea, but I'll tell you. I had
this soap from ASoP. You're talking about thirty dollars a
forty dollars soap, and that was three or four years ago.
It's probably fifty dollars now. I spent my hard earned
money on this soap. This soap was kind of all
I had going for me for a minute.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Established I would always hide it, thank you, And I
would always hide it because I didn't want anyone to
use it but me and I hoarded my precious soap.
And do you know what happened? Those little wonderful beads
that make you feel so cley.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
They evaporated because you didn't share.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
The Lord punish me for not sharing.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
They're probably not the plasticky ones, but there are some
brands Stone, Humis John Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
I don't think you need to share. Like I've had
hair like curly hair products, and if someone is using
my shower or I don't want them to use my
curly hair product, I'll take it out of the shower.
There's other shances to take it out. I've done that
before because.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
They're using your shower. That's interesting. Y, Yeah, there's no,
that's not the stat I mean, i'd be like, what
she's not gonna be able to tell I take a
little right exactly.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
And if I don't want someone to use something that's
in my shower and I'm letting them use my shower,
it's on me to remove it from my shower.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
And are people using your shower.

Speaker 3 (38:21):
Just if I have a guest hang over it. But honestly,
this hasn't been I haven't felt this way in a
long time, but they're in my younger days. There were
definitely times whereas like this person's coming to shower here
I'm taking my favorite conditioner out of the shower.

Speaker 1 (38:37):
I have five siblings and oh my god.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Yeah, and my brother also has curly hair, so I
know this and I've had to do that too, where
I'm like or vice versa, where sometimes he has things
and he gets upset with me that I take his
curly hair stuff.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Yeah, so it is a thing.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
This person sounds so immature.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
I'm tired of them already. Top comments had pristine massed
on right, so yta, because you created drama where there
it needs to be any quote. The smell is making
Roger's headache works so worse, so no one gets used today,
including me. But you're welcome to some of this one
smell isn't a strong and said you played.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
A weird power game totally yeah, oh for sure.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
Descending comment love broccoli rights NTA. She's entitled to your lotion,
not a title. She's not entitled. Her reaction to being
told no is not okay. But maybe there could have
been room to be less confrontational without telling on your
other coworker, just saying something like it's not against you.
I'll be happy to let you use it any other day,
just like everyone else. But today. I don't want anyone

(39:32):
to use it. This is like at school, right, classic
toxic person thing is being like really inconsistent and weird.
You're like, what are the rules of your your sick
little games?

Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yeah, and when I was in we called it middle school.
I know other people don't call it that, but it
was in fifth grade.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
Who doesn't call it that? People in the French elementary
school and people.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
School?

Speaker 1 (39:56):
What do you mean middle schools after elementary school? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (39:59):
But okay, did your My middle school was fifth grade
to eighth grade, but.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Period is no, that's not middle school. Middle school is
six seventh and eighth grade. Junior high is seventh and
eighth grade. That was the model.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
You can keep calling in middle school.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
It doesn't matter. What I was saying is some people
don't even have the term middle school and they're vernacular.
So I was acknowledging most people I don't know, I
don't know, and they have a right to exist. Yeah,
but regardless when I was in middle.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
School, somebody's feeling so seen right now, thank you. I
went to elementary, then high school. Finally when I was
in middle school.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
Before the iPhone, Oh my god, you're fucking old, bro.
We had other phones, and there was like there was
it was before NFTs, and yet this was hearing this,
This was currency. There were like these websites where you
could essentially get like gifts.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
G I f s, just animating gifts with the teeth, and.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
Like only the kids who had internet on their phones
could download the pictures and then the rest of us
could only receive those pictures if those kids texted them
to us, but we couldn't get them ourselves. There was
one girl, oh my god, hoarding them, like her background
was always like different moving pictures. And she became the
most popular girl in fifth grade because she had all

(41:25):
of these gifts and she chose who she wanted to
give them to who she didn't. She played this weird
power game with me. I remember being like, hey, can
I have this picture? And she's like, oh maybe leader,
like I have to go to class, but like she
would send it to someone else. Such an annoying personality.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
This had more. This fifth grade had more economic value
than actual NFT.

Speaker 3 (41:48):
It was social currency. It was how you became popular.
It was like how many of these you had on
your phone? I think it's an analogous sit.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
I don't know what you're talking about, though, I never
never did she.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Have any of the iconic ones, like the good ones
that were like popular still that we still sign know,
like what like the guy.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
They weren't funny, they weren't.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
They all saise. So what you're saying is I remember having.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
On peace signs that like flickered or like bullshit, And I'm.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Sure it could have played Jeff's but you couldn't really
access download. Yeah you could.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
She was gatekeeping. I mean, frankly, if I could go
back to that version of myself, I would be like,
this doesn't matter. But when you're young, it mattered, and
this girl was being a gatekeeper and I thought that
was annoying of her in fifth grade. So now we're
in a work environment, grow up.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
We really should have seen it coming when we were
addicted to that simple Snake game, which is.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
Literally like I still am I think about that game.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
It was great, and now we're shocked to like how
are we addicted to our phones? Like we were literally
down for the Snake game. It was like ten pixels.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
It was the game that was like it played stay
in alive the whole time, and it was like an
ice man and to jump up.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
I don't know, it's not I used to like think
that was a traumatic event that happened to you. I mean,
I get.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
To jump up, had a press space and you would
jump up in the whole time it was playing Stay
in Line.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Sounds like a flash game or something.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
Remember those It was a flash game.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
It was like little online games that just live in
your browser. You guys, never delay that.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
No, but I really want to know what op does
for a living, that this entertainment of gatekeeping lotion is
a thing, and especially with this person.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
That he is already on their own throne. I know
think that the ension is currently the only thing I
will say too.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
That's interesting about the other person that they are gatekeeping
from is that the person who clearly knows that they
are doing this power dynamic because they are just they're
even bringing it up. They're like, why can't you just
let me use the lotion? So it's kind of like
they are that's their passive aggressive way of kind of
being like, you have a problem with me, and you're
not telling me because there's no way, Like if somebody

(44:01):
if not about the lotion, me and Molly work together.
If Molly was to all of a sudden, be like,
I have a secret lotion that you can which Molly
never does. Molly doesn't keep her things.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
She gets excited to share shamboos. You can't use the
shamboos in.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
Her house, not at the studio, but smelling, yeah, I
remember that to share that you were excited to share
your comb with somebody like that was the cutest moment ever.
But either way, if she was like I saw that happen,
and then all of a sudden, I was like, Molly,
I need a comb for my hair too, and she's like, no,
I don't have this comb. It's crazy, like I can't,

(44:35):
you know, like not this comb. Sorry, Like I'd be
like and for me to be like, oh, like, why
can't you just let me use the comb? You know,
I know it's there, that'd be so insane, I would
tell myself. Instead, it's like, all right, you want to
share her comb, that's okay, because it's her comb.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
I'm gonna go get my own.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
But if you just saw me give my comb to
someone else.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
That's really yeah, that's I know, excluding yeah, but one.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
Thing to share combs. Also, I feel like we need
to explain the foot peppermint spray.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, terrified, just a spray. That just Also, let me
just give the listeners some contacts that I tried to
use the bathroom and you were just like, oh, I
just took a ship.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
Okay. First of all, the listeners don't have to know
that I poop. I did not use that verbiage and
I said I just pooped.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
She was being considerate.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
Yeah, well, I just feel like everyone I don't know
because you went to pee and you said you didn't
breathe the whole time. So actually, I wish you could
tell me if it was a stink.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Matches were deployed, didn't smell any stinky poops.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
But I myself aware this was one of my.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Young Like, you're the right to talk about your twos,
but I just want to say the bathroom is well
equipped to handle a ship. There's three candles, there's matches windows.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
I didn't think it was smelly. I just didn't. I
also didn't expect you to have to go to the
bathroom immediately after I pooped, so I was a little shocked.
I thought it would be able to air out. And
also I think I was being considerate. I was like,
wait before you go, I just pooped, let me go.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
All right. So I guess I would just challenge your
poop strategy because usually if I poop at someone's house,
I assume the bathroom is going to be used. I
deploy the matches or whatever.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
I don't have good social skills.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
Go to your foot spray, So it's.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Not It was just supposed to be a spray that
smelled like mint and it wakes you up and it
is nice. I sprayed it and I found that it
smelled like feet and blue cheese and a little bit mint,
and so so I stopped using it. But I put
it on the desk at work with a note that
said try me. Uh no, And then I explained I

(46:36):
still no. I said you try me, And then I said,
it kind of smells like feet. If you like it,
it's yours. Yeah, okay, And I was excited to get people.
One person said, oh, they'll bring it to a sex party.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Why what the why would he After we're off the camera,
I want to know who they're like, I'm bringing it
to the grossest place on it.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
People have like foot stuff. And then I was like, oh,
I didn't really like foot fetishes have anything to do
with the smell of feet, but apparently some people who
like feet also get off to the smell of feet.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
My only defense people just love anything to do with feet,
I know, is what I've learned.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
My only defense of this op is maybe the place
they work is so boring that little micro drama like
this is just something to keep them alive. I agree.
You know, it's I picked up.

Speaker 3 (47:22):
That's not enabling.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
They work out what's it called in the in the
office the paper company, you know what I mean? Like
under my boring, under myth flins. It's the most boring ship.
And so it's just like, let's just have some drama
because why not. Nonetheless, a TA for not letting my
coworker use my lotion. I think title literal. I think
this could be done differently. She's like, is it an
open lotion policy or is it not? You're changing the rules.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
I think the fact that you have a lotion policy
makes you an asshole.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yeah, we use it. That's the rule.

Speaker 3 (47:53):
But they have a rule. They have a rule that
says you can ask me for my lotion if it's out.
You are by definition annoying.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
That's annoying.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
But assuming people are lining up to ask for your lotion.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Let's say someone always has gum and you just know
that everybody knows that there.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
This is again giving middle.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
There gummy Jerry, Yeah, gummy Jerry has a simple rule.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
If my gum is out, if he's.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
True in, you can ask. If he ain't true and
don't ask.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
You know he has it, he's always gonna have.

Speaker 3 (48:22):
Because he'll waste his breath by saying no, Like who
do you think you are? Wait?

Speaker 1 (48:27):
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (48:27):
What? Like?

Speaker 3 (48:28):
People can't People should be able to ask you for something,
and it's on you, as an adult to say no.
I don't think I think having a rule about don't
ask me if you don't see it is like is
like who who do you think you are? I don't
want to waste my breath saying no to you? Throw
the hell up?

Speaker 1 (48:45):
You want me? You got me ant? If you're not
in my coworker, he's my lotion. I don't think I
changed anything because I think we all agree that this
is you're the asshole. Yeah yeah, all right, guys, please
you subscribe join on Patreon, patre dot com dot com,
slash a t pod. How many bonus episodes.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
Two hundred and fifty over even more.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
I know not to two hundred fifty even more. No
ads everything add for you old, there's too many ads
during the patroon. It's fine, I'll give you one month
for you.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
You's got to put food on the table there, get
in Danny's DMS.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
I know, I'm and if you all use your five
dollars to make cookies for people, why would you do that?

Speaker 2 (49:22):
I take advantage of the cookies to do it.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
You know?

Speaker 1 (49:24):
All right, guys, we're to wrap up on a silly one.
Aita for leaving dinner early. After my boyfriend's friend introduced
me as the current one. My boyfriend thirty one m
invited me to dinner with his old college group. One
of his female friends, thirty f who I've never met before,
came late, looked me up and down and said, oh,
you're there, you're the current one. Cute ew. I was stunned.

(49:48):
No one laughed, no one corrected her. My boyfriend just
kind of chuckled who and changed the subject. I sat
there in silence for another twenty minutes before excusing myself
and leaving. I took an uber home. He called me
later on, said I embarrassed him by quote making it
a thing, and that I should have just quote ben
chill because she quote didn't mean anything by it. He
wants me to apologize to her for walking out like

(50:10):
a child a ta for not tolerating that kind of
blatant disrespect.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Oh well, let me start the audacity.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
I was dinged for this, though it was by proxy,
I think it was. I'll tell you the story. So
I went out. I went out in a different city
with someone I didn't know, knew someone's ex so and
basically I said, oh I liked the other one regarding
their old ex.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Wait, you went you said this in front of them?

Speaker 1 (50:41):
No, not in front of that, in front of their
friend who reported it back to them.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Oh that's shitty of the friend the friend.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
Yeah, you're still confused of the context. Basically, you went
out on a date with someone.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
No, not a date, just friends with a friends with
a friend who reported back to my other friend that
I had said I liked the other act even of
that friends wasn't there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
But the difference with op is that she was told
this to her face and by a very rude friend
who had no place to say that. Like that's like,
so that is kind of that's not girls behavior.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
That girl is into your partner. By the way, that was.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
One thousand person.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
But also I when I first heard the tight the headline,
I thought that boyfriend in truth like brought brought partner
into the space and said, this is my current girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
But that's not.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
That's what I thought.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
It was my adopted son. Like, Okay, maybe we don't
need that word there, did you think?

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Yeah, And the audacity to tell her to apologize to
her is insane, and that the.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
Fact that she got he has loyalty to this other girl.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Yeah, and the fact that this other girl also was
like wow, she stormed off like a child. She couldn't
handle that.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
Like you're cute, so it is really.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Cute.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
She said, oh you're cute.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Oh you're the curent. No, she said, oh you're the
current one cute cute. Yeah, she's not calling her cute.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
Okay, no, but cute in that context is so And
that's what Molly's saying. Yeah, it's like maybe even worse
that that it's not a compliment like you're cute.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Just like cut cue, it's a cute like you're below me.
Girl's behavior.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
It's like you'll be out of here in a month.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Yeah, that's and and she wants to be in there clearly.
Oh yeah, girl, it's been some great college group.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Yeah, he's not into you, and he's also not setting
that though.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
Yeah, I don't care about his feelings for me.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
This is a little bit too. I feel like there's
the thing people do where it's like meet in the middle, compromise,
and it's like sometimes it's just really not called for,
Like this isn't a meet in the middle, go.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
Your own way. It sounds another lonely day.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Now.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
This girl, the one that's making the cute comment, she's
a pick me in this situation because it sounds like
she's the girlfriend of like the guy friend group that's
kind of like the girl year for a picking and
she's trying to like make this power play to this
new girl that if I saw that, I would have

(53:15):
I would have left right away. I wouldn't have even
waited for anything, because it sounds like ope, gave it
a yeah, gave it a chance to her feelings and
then realized she was uncomfortable, which I think like good
for her for leaving, not the other way around. Rochester
apologize to someone that's a very If I was in
that situation.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
That girl should apologize to ope.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Yeah, or somebody should have like stood up or like
one of the guys in the group or her boyfriend
or boyfriend should have been like, hey, the boy that's
not cool you know that.

Speaker 3 (53:44):
Yeah, that's that boyfriend didn't actually love that.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
I was telling her to apologize to the girl that
was me.

Speaker 3 (53:52):
So crazy boyfriend has feelings for this personal So.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
I love that wording. Now, I think that's a super
clean college is like, hey, that's not cool because it's
like so mild, but it's clearly calling it out. That
was great.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
Yeah, I think that's one's cutting.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
Yeah, it is pretty cut and dry. Yeah yeah, And
it's blatant disrespect.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
And I feel terrible that he had to be in
that situation.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
I think it's a breakup with him for me. Yeah,
I'm like, that's a breaker that then he would try
to flip it on her. I'm like, you're a monster.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
I mean before he even said that, the fact that
he didn't stand up for her was already.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
I mean, I I think intros can happen fast. That
would be my only defense for that, Like you know
what I mean? Like, oh, nice to meet. You know,
you're shaking hands with someone else, and that's so, she said.
The timing of it is like he didn't directly witness it.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
But we don't know that he didn't.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
And he's gaslighting.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
He's calling her childhood.

Speaker 1 (54:45):
That's crazy, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Apologize is crazy and telling her she stormed off like
a child.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
That's also awful.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
So gas lated to say, like, you're making a thing
of it. It's a thing someone, It's a thing. Someone
said something I'm going to have a feeling about. How
like that they made it a thing by saying it
in the first place.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Yeah, and this is a person that's clearly like in
your life somehow.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
So it's a charged sentiment too, it's not neutral.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
I did find some hittas weird ad one got twenty
nine out votes. Yta, it's an awkward comment, but it
was likely said in jest. In cel in cell calling
an uber and leaving without telling anyone is a crappy
thing to do.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Grow up.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Sitting in silence is just childish, as you're demanding attention
from your boyfriend the way a child demands attention from
its mommy. Okay, this is in sol. You read that right, Yeah,
the mommy part really got me an in cell. Sometimes
you roll with the punches a little bit when you're
breaking the ice with people you barely know. Heck, you
could turn it into a joke and everyone there would
likely enjoy your contribution. I will say even the.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
Op doesn't care about pleasing everyone there.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
I mean, I understand what OBI did. I don't think
what they did was wrong, but let's just say it
had played out a little bit more ambiguously like we're boyfriend.
Maybe didn't hear it. She's brand new to the friend group.
I honestly think the best response here, if you can
put a pool together, which I understand you can't, is
to just talk to everyone and be super vivacious okay
to everyone except.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
Yes, okay, I have a question now, or you have
since we're both Since we both do comedy and this
comment said.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
Never done comedy before, you should try.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
It as great. Molly does a lot of comedy. She's
an improviser.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
Yes, so you gets also weigh in on.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Yeah, actually we're gonna meet you Molly.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
Sorry yeah, sorry, you're not a comic. You can't.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
You can't weigh in.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
But so they said, make a joke about this, How
would you feel if that was your girlfriend, somebody from
like our somebody from ground floor was just like, oh cute.
And then the girl that you're with that have that
comment be made, like what kind of would you think
it's funny?

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Or but I just don't think it changes it. That's
what That's what I realized. It was a joke. Is
just stating your intention, and that's fine, but that doesn't
change anything. It doesn't really change anything. It's like, that
was my intention, but that wasn't the impact of what
you said. That wasn't really it that said, I don't
really think this flies as a joke.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
No, I was going to say, I can't twist it
as a joke in any way, Like I've tried putting
myself in those shoes when I heard that comment to
be like, how if I was if somebody if Molly
came up to me and like she was like, oh
me and you just started seeing each other and Molly
is like your longtime friend. That is a girl who

(57:32):
just is like, oh, you're the new one.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Cute.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
I can't just I can't think of anything quick when
to come back to you and be.

Speaker 1 (57:37):
Like yeah, I'm the one, like you know, I think
I think my favorite situation if someone makes an inappropriate
joke or line just be like what does that mean?

Speaker 3 (57:45):
No, I was gonna say, okay, I follow, please explain,
break it down. I heard it like this, Did you
mean it like that? Oh?

Speaker 1 (57:53):
I think that's even generest. Why don't you explain what
you just I like that.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
Okay, that's a good that's a good one. Like That's
what I wanted to know because I was like, how
do I make this funny?

Speaker 3 (58:02):
I also if I'm going to play Devil's advocate, and
they usually don't, let's hear it. I don't think it's
a nice joke to make, period. But it's one thing
if that joke is made when OP isn't there. But
for like, if friends are talking they've met girlfriend before
and they're like, okay, this is the current one, like
it's I rolly, it's locker room talk, air quotes, annoying

(58:23):
and gross. However, so different to say it to the
girlfriend's face, like that's a that's putting girlfriend in her place.
That's really icky.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
But also it's power to clarify the difference. So when
you're with him, you're calling out his behavior for cycling
through women. Yeah, well, when you're with her, it's more
like you're not welcome to the group that has a
totally different meaning.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
But also Opie, and not to slut shame her boyfriend,
but maybe a red flag like his friend group is
telling you who he is to say, oh, like you're
just the flavor of the week. And if she doesn't
want that, she wants to be like, I.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Love just to listen to that song. But I don't
agree with that. I think that's too far from me
because I'm like, I think we all agree that this
person wants to fuck him. Yeah, so it's it's too
loaded with malice for me to be I just don't
like boyfriend. So yeah, boyfriend, and we wish them well.

Speaker 3 (59:19):
By the way, my boyfriend and mean girl, we wish
them well, send them on their way.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
Do you have to do that, you wish them I
don't want to wishy.

Speaker 3 (59:27):
It's the most passive aggressive thing you can say.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
I wish you well.

Speaker 3 (59:30):
No, not to them, but like whenever something is annoying,
we wish them well.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
Yeah, because they're not going to be well. They're miserable people.
Is that what you're getting out. I'm saying I don't
want to wish them well.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
Things so passive, aggressive and funny. Okay, my sister in
law once again, I have nothing but good things to
say about her. She taught me that she says and
we wish them well, and it cracks me up every
single time.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
You know what, I guess I do the same thing.
I think mine is just I just say like I
wish Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
I guess she doesn't say it obnoxiously either, She's just
like has a sweet sweetheart. I use it passive aggressively
now because it's hysterical.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
I wish them well, and.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
We wish them well. Like you tell me a story
about someone who's annoying, I'm like, oh my god, it sucks,
and we wish them well. Not not. I don't mean
it in like a yoga teacher vibe, like I don't
mean it like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Whatever I wish, I wish them the best.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
Actually, I think that sounds sincere mine is obnoxious.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
But I like yours. I think it's fun. I say
to be anxious. Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
I want to take it. I wish them well for
the haters ours, yours mine, and hours.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
The haters I wish them well.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Yeah, and we wish we wish them well.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
We wish them well because it's sort of like where
they're Yeah, it's Outhering. Yes, we wish them well and
we wish you guys a very wonderful listening experience. Thanks
for joining me, Dina and Molly, thanks for having us,
and that was beautiful. I guess you guys aren't gonna
plug because we went solo names only do you want

(01:01:02):
to plug? I mean you were just in my TikTok
so I was.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
We can plug wild Card Yogi on TikTok and wild
Card Yogi with an underscore on Instagram.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
I have no online presence, but is that true? I'm
not promoting anything. I have an Instagram. It's Molly m
O L l I E Lolly also l I E
number two and it is just me and pictures of
my now deceased dog. But if you want to find
me that people, I.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
Want to see the dog. All right, guys, thanks for
joining us. We'll see you next time. Bye,