734 AITA for using cannabis despite my wife's disapproval? (ft. Mollie)

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(0:00) - Banter
(17:31) - AITA for asking my husband's friends not to make him the butt of jokes?
(35:19) - AITA for using cannabis despite my wife's disapproval?
(53:16) - AITA for telling my dad not to yell people's full names in public?


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, everybody. Welcome to it a pod. I'm Danny Vega,
joined by Molly.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
How are we today? Everybody? What's what's? Molly? And I
got brudged today. That's sort of an old fashioned dyninery vibes.
Cindy's and Molly rudely ate breakfast before.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
I thought I would need something to hold me over.
She called it a pre breakfast pre breakfast for context.
Our our brunch plans were ten, which is normal.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Well into breakfast, I would say soft brudge.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Unless I woke up at five, there was no reason
to do a pre breakfast.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
It was crazy. I skipped my breakfast and I ate
a normal amount, like a normal person, and you ate
one bite.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
I had a few bites, but it was really brutal.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, what's that? I'm not a Oh no, I only
wanted a little bit that.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
See, I've struggled with that. I went out with this
girl and she would eat like literally three bites, and
it was hard for me to buy her meal. I
wanted to be like, why don't we just splitt exactly
feel wasteful. I'm like, I'm spending like twenty five bucks
for you to taste it.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, I was seeing this guy for a minute who
was significantly taller and older than me, and just giving
you that visual for like a like a size the mind.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Here going on down there.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
I love going to diners, and we would go to
diners a lot, and like eventually he said to me,
he was like, you know, the first few times I
took you to a diner, I was kind of looking around,
like are other people seeing this girl the way she's
just like putting.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Back this food you can down.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
I was like, took down all my pancakes, my eggs,
my toast, bacon, so much so that this man was
like impressed when like he could probably eat that much normally.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
I mean, I was really proud of I'm a small person.
Uh yeah, totally.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Small, relatively small, but I can take handle my food
because I goop.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah, so I was kind of disappointed myself this morning.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
And I was so cocky that I was like, oh,
I can totally eat an egg sandwich before this and
take down my pancakes on of pre breakfast. That's a
full breakfast. And I picked the biggest piece of bread.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
They kind of tank. I mean, the food, it was
the vibe, it was a vibe.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
It was a vibe about the vibe, and then I
was full.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
And you took a freaking nap, did.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
A nap before we recorded?

Speaker 2 (02:41):
I knapped on the couch.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Fine. I got a good good couches.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Good couches up up for picks, whichever one I wanted
to couch house to catch hold one income to houses.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Couches A woman to tell me to arrange it this way,
and she was fucking right?

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Which woman?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
My friend, Pega?

Speaker 2 (03:02):
How did you have it before?

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Bad?

Speaker 1 (03:05):
It was a boy room before? It was a big
empty garage. What's it called racquetball court? Just empty?

Speaker 3 (03:12):
I was here before, But like, where did.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
You have these?

Speaker 1 (03:15):
It just didn't work?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
And now do you have two couches? No?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
I had one couch.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Okay, that's what I understand this.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
I thought two couches was crazy.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
It is.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
I didn't know you could do it.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
But you're constantly hosting.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
No, but I'm going I get compliments on this.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
And where do you get your couches?

Speaker 1 (03:31):
That the couch store? Which one it's called mister Couches
Couch Imporium.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Are they new couches?

Speaker 1 (03:36):
They're new, used and refurbished?

Speaker 3 (03:38):
Which ones are yours?

Speaker 2 (03:40):
What did you get new you.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
That's an Ikea couch that you're sitting on, and I'm sorry.
I love that couch.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Great couch. It's a great couch. Reasonably chose the other
one to know.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
This couch is fancier. This couch is very it's very pretentious.
It's kind of for the girlies. It's a deepf it's soft.
You have a good posture to really enjoy a couch.
That key couch.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
It's firm.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
It's for a man. Yeah, because men have weak corese Well, I.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Thought we might take opposite naps where I slept on
the woman couch and you slept on the man's couch.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
But you excuse yourself to your better Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
So anyway, it was good morning. I hope you guys
are doing great. I don't have a lot of drama.
I don't think I have any real updates. I've become
very boring now. I do my little exercises.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
You do your exercise, Yeah, you do your exercises.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Do my little exercises. Actually you helped me with that,
Molly kind of train me. I do this exercise called
the Superman, which is where you kind of balance on
your like your hip, basically put your legs up your belly,
and then Molly like went all yoga mode and she's like,
assume this. I don't know how you No, that was great.

(04:50):
Keep going assume this position. Put your weights in your palms, okay,
put your feel it in your and then it's like
she's like, feel it in your glue. I'm like, I
don't know what that means, Like.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
I don't do speak that in mines and then he
gets it. Then I got it, and he doesn't say like,
oh that's super helpful, thank you, But then he goes
to do it the next round and he's like, Okay,
do you do your.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Thing well because I hate it.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Two spirit Actually, if you like it, I'll shut up.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Superman, which is like, that's your lower back is lifting
your legs and then incorrect, Okay, what is it?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Then your lower back is lifting your leg Yeah, your
core strength and your back strength. I wouldn't say your
lower back.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
You feel it in your lower back muscles the most, Okay, whatever,
we don't need it.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
You should feel it in your butt the most.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, you feel in your butt to some extent.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
Yeah, your lower back should never be doing more work
than you're look.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
And I got a fat ass. Now, how about it.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
You didn't even tell them about our private.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, so well, yeah, go ahead, no, you go ahead,
right while I wanted to do a private with me
ninety minutes of yoga, yes, and honestly.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
It was probably went in two hours.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
It was really, really intense.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
I had a fun time.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I wouldn't even call it yoga. It was like you
put me in various positions on blocks and I was
sore the next day, but good sore.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, you said you felt like things were like jostle
finding their jostle is the word.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
I was reconfigured, recalibrated, calibrated, and I would do it again.
I wouldn't want to do it often because it was
very intense.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
But the more often you do it, the less intense
it feels.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Okay, well, I'll consider doing it again and maybe a
couple of weeks.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
You know how to reach me.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Thank you for the yoga price.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
It's so fun.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
I'm happy you enjoyed yourself. I did give you some
notes and that was cool.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah, I mean that was.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
The benefit of it for me was to get your notes.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
And I'll tell you, guys, some of the notes I
gave in La people don't like notes, so it was
very impressive. You wanted notes, Yeah, that was a whole.
One of my notes was there was a very elaborate
part where you like put me up on these blocks.
It took forever, so long, this part might have taken
thirty minutes, and then when you remove the blocks, it
was just like, okay, next time. And I was like,
we definitely need to sit in the moment there and

(07:10):
there's a lot more impact.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Like yeah, and you're right. He took me out of
my autopilot.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
The other note was a massage note, which didn't really
apply to you. I just thought of it, Oh massage.
You took it personally, Yeah, I don't get any no, no, no,
there's a note I had from my experience with massages.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Go ahead, So we were. It was in the same
posture we setting up a supported bridge with like a
ton of blocks and a yoga chair and all these things.
So you build it piece by piece, and so that
was the build up, and then Danny's first note was
about when I took him down, was like, as I
lower to each level of the block, we can sit
there for a second and I can do like the

(07:48):
breath cues that I was doing while he was in
the pose because he needs to slow. You know. That's
one thread.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
But then the other Parliament and you said some poetry
in there too.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
Said some poetry in there.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
I mean what you just did was great, but you
have like phrases like feel like the grass swaying in
the wind.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
The moon staring at you like a gazelle looking into
I mean, you got it.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
It's done.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Gazelle has been killed. Gazelle is dead, okay, taking over
animal and.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
This other part. I have to put stuff like blocks
under his shoulder, so I'm standing over his head. I
tell him to interlease his fingers behind my neck and
keep the back of his neck long so that when
I'm bending my knees it's not tough on my back
at all. When I'm leveraging my body weight to lift
him up essentially, and we are like a foot apart

(08:44):
from each other, face to face, looking he's looking up,
I'm looking down. So I try to hold my breath
when I do this, because you were it's unpleasant.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
And then afterwards Danny gives me this note.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, and I and I did it, and maybe it
was poor timing, but it was it was something to
be aware of. It's more what I was trying to do.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
I was trying to figure out if you were saying that.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
No, I wasn't. You didn't breathe on me, and you
didn't have bad breath or anything. But there's been times
where I get massages. There's a part and actually this
is a la massage. Thank god, it's embarrassed. I'm the
massages I've gotten, but I used to always get them
in New York and I always go to the Asian
massage parlor. I know you're not supposed to call it that.
I'm sorry, fucking Asian. I forget what it's called.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
It depends what kind of massagery Asian say.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
No, I don't like tie because I don't want your
fucking feet on me. They love the feet over.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
There, but yeah, you didn't want my feet on you,
feet on me?

Speaker 1 (09:41):
But the what is it called body therapist? I don't
fuck it massage therapist?

Speaker 2 (09:47):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
And sometimes when they go face up, and by the way,
I love the face up part. They they'll like, massage
your ear lobes and I'm a sucker for that.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Ship pull the back of your neck.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Massage your jaw, and shit, but they'll well breathe through
their nose, but they don't realize that that that's gonna
go down wind to my fucking face and I can
taste that shit, and so then I have to hold
my breath and that's very hard. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
No, I tried to be aware of that.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
In general, even if my breath is good, I always
try to aim my air away from someone's face totally.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
And so I was trying to saus out like did
you feel me?

Speaker 1 (10:23):
No, and you didn't. You didn't make a mistake and
you did great in terms of your air control. Conscious
of that, And to give you guys an idea of
how weird some of these positions are, Like to give
you a visual, like I would say, at some points
my legs were like three or four feet in the
air on a bunch of blocks, Yeah, and then I
would have to like hold on to mall. It was

(10:44):
like shit that if the human centipede saw it, they'd
be like that, No, that's actually weird. That's actually weird.
We're a human centipede, but that's actually weird. But it worked,
It works, No, And I.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
Feel good because Danny's no bullshitter.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
So it was equally. I don't know if it was
equally beneficial. Hopefully you got a benefit. I liked it.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
For me, I benefited because he doesn't hold back.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Yeah, And like it doesn't feel, you know, if someone's
paying for private I don't want it to feel like
they're coaching me. Like I want to feel like they're
paying for service that I'm qualified to get. But it's
very helpful to be able to like have these check
ins with people I'm comfortable with us and friends who
can then be like, well what was that or like
that wasn't great.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
You're very good at it though, the yoga voice and
the yoga energy.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
You do think I have a yoga voice.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, well it's a tonality. It's not like a hackey
or annoying. It's just like a calm energy voice.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
And then I learned about what we talked about that already,
the cow and the cat, The cow and the cat post,
which about them. We love the cow and the cat post.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
But what else?

Speaker 4 (11:53):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (11:54):
Yeah, because then we did our risks, we did hands
and knees stuff that at all, because that was when
I really made you work a little bit.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
That was towards the end.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Well, the other thing we're working through because now now
we're hanging out and we have this, we have this
complicated thing that happened in the past we talked about
and it does get reference on the podcast a lot,
and I'm always listening to old episodes. So I wanted
to talk about a learning I had, and I want
to say to you so that we can I've we
already already said all this to you, but.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
A learning you have?

Speaker 1 (12:23):
Well, yeah, because I mean, I think I would say
that I did reference the husky incident in various ways
on the podcast, but none of that was necessarily about
you or an indictment of you. It's just a very
like scenic thing that it was just so fair.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
But the most recent or it's not first recent reference,
but the one that I came that came across my desk, yes,
that I reached out to Danny about. He says, I
watched someone husky someone's husky, and then I felt like
they kind of owed me right, and I said, well,
there it freaking is, Danny right now, we said it.
Now read it, so what is it? Tell us what

(13:03):
it is?

Speaker 1 (13:03):
Well, I've let it go. Okay, I'm calling it a
complicated situation. I think that's that's where I left it off.
I don't want to relitigate. Okay, it's to me, it's
what's I called water under the bridge. That's what it's called,
you know, and it is what it is. But I
want to say I have learned, and I recently edited
an episode out because I'm like, you gotta be careful
because I think you are reasonable about it. We're having

(13:25):
this conversation, but like I have talked about people on
the pod before irresponsibly, and I did.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
A whole episode out.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
You said, not a whole episode, but I've yeah, I
edited out something somewhat recently.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Like in our conversation.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
No, no oh no, it was about it's about someone else,
And I was just like, you know, does this really
need to go out? Because what I've realized is, you know,
often what I remember or the version of what I'm telling,
or if I'm referencing it as an example, it's like
I'm not really giving a fair characterization. Yeah it's self
serving or not even necessarily it might just be like

(13:59):
fit the situation that we're talking about, right, And like
that was a very visceral like yeah it was yeah,
husky for a month or week. Sorry, not lying now,
I'm just one that's just straight up lying.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yeah. But and I told Danny if it makes you
feel better karmically, I had to watch a Great Dane
this year and he said for how long?

Speaker 3 (14:18):
I said six days? And he said try a week.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
I got her. But but yeah, I'm I'm excited that
you know that we're doing more ups and you're listening
to the pod so you know it's uh the husky,
the good old the husky you call we space. Well,
I forgot about that.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Selini Celeni weelini weeni bo being a banana nana fe
feeni me mamomini Weeni.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Well, this this episode, it does have a theme and
the theme the theme is basically boundary. It's kind of
a theme. We cover a lot, but it's it's basically
like boundaries versus are you being controlling? With a little
bit of addiction thrown in second situation, my brand ata
for using cannabis despite my wife's disapproval.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Oh boy, and we should say and Danny didn't love
my use of cannabis when we were good friends in
the past. Oh okay, can we say that?

Speaker 1 (15:18):
No, Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where you're going.
What did I say? Yeah? What did I say? I
don't remember.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
You didn't say anything unfair. You just felt like I
wasn't there. We'd be hanging out and I was high.
Are you Are you still using in this moment? No? No,
now when I'm around you?

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Oh okay, I mean not just you a regular cannabis user.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Still yeah, But I have had feelings about it lately.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
Interesting. Well, we'll get we'll get to it in a
cannabis situation. Excited for it, folks. Thanks for listening, Please rate, review, subscribe,
Join me on patron still giving away one month free.
Several people reached out already giving out the radical one
month trial. So hit me up on Instagram, Danny Baga Grant.
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Antia for asking my husband's friends not to make him
the butt of jokes all the time. My thirty nine
F husband thirty nine M has a group of friends
if I'm being honest, I don't like that much. One
of my problems is my husband always seems to have

(17:47):
to be the target of every single joke. He says
it doesn't bother him, but when it actually happens, he
never actually looks like he finds it as funny as
everyone else playing video games. If he makes any mistakes,
it's always you fucking idiot or your shit. If he
says anything about our kids, it's always a good thing
they didn't get you nappy hair or big forehead or

(18:08):
big nose, slash, dry skin, anything related to appearance, basically
the same thing as listed before. Last weekend, my husband
had some people over, and I don't know the contacts,
but they were calling him some very end At the
beginning of the third paragraph, I said, that's not funny,
and one of them kind of gave me that what
the F look. I then said I didn't like that
he always had to be the target of every joke,
and so they should probably stop. My husband wasn't happy

(18:29):
with me after that and said it didn't matter and
he didn't ask me to do that. Aita, you're awfully quiet.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
I'm considering, okay, you know it's very good to take
time to think.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Sure, well, it's just it's where kind of recording media? Yeah,
it's I don't know's it is good to take time
to think.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
Though, So you know I read something, well, not.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
The asshole for that. That's good.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Once is one time I read something here we go
and it said that American businessiness man on average, or
I guess it's Japanese businessman on average wait ten seconds
before responding, whereas American businessmen wait something like three to
five seconds.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay, and it tracks.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
It's like, who's who's making stupid decisions? Sure you got
to stop and think for a sec.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Okay, Yeah, I just.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Wanted to tell you that I read something. One's great. Anyway,
let me know what you're ready to talk about.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Just let us know, you know, we'll get to it
when we get to it. I suppose actually on the phone,
we have a Japanese business call in. He's waiting, he's waiting.
I think, so, actually I have something to say a
Japanese businessman. How come we don't have more switch tos
on the shelf. I'm curious, trying to get more friends.

(19:54):
Maybe I'll get switched to. Okay, I'm wondering though I do.
I do see it gender aspect here, I'll venture I'll
risk it.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
I'm seeing several girls.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Making fun of my girl or guys making fun of
my girl. I feel like that's a step in boys. Yeah,
you do step into that.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Right, step in boy.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
But the other way, it's a little bit like, ah, man,
this is just this is my this is my life,
this is my whole life. Everybody don't tell me everywhere
I go. No, But it's funny. It's it's funny. I
dunk on me. Yeah, it's not like heavy.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
I feel like there's several gendered aspects to this. Yeah,
A there's like boy on boy, so like we have
like a different rapport different like different politics, yes, or
dynamics in that, and then a woman interpreting that adds
a whole other level. And then we have the like

(20:50):
friendship versus partnership, and then on top of that a
third thing that now I care.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Remember that's all like eighteen things. But you're saying that
was the third thing.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, okay, the third thing.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Here we go his.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Maybe I'm edited to edit? Is it editedorializing? Is editorializing
and adding editorializing, But it seems like there's some like
embarrassment on his part his part about her standing up
first him, which also can I can read as gendered,

(21:32):
like oh, you need a girl to stand up for you.

Speaker 4 (21:34):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Interesting.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
But let's take it apart.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Well, Yeah, I don't know. I guess I saw her
as kind of overstepping a little bit. Yeah, it's kind
of like they're my friends and they're making jokes about me, Like,
I'll let them know if it's an issue.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
Has he ever complained about it to her?

Speaker 1 (21:52):
It's not here, it's not here. You know. I'm also like.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
His own battles that he can fight his own batties.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
He can fight his own battles. And I also have
to like refute some of these charges like saying you're
a fucking idiot during a video game. We're happy that
they're a fucking idiot. That's so kind. Yeah, it's you know.
Now we do get into some racial stuff here, I.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
Know, talking about his hair and the hair that.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
That gets a little hairy, that's Harry. Let me say this.
If she said because that nappy hair is as h
as it could be considered racist in many contexts.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
We don't know the race of the people saying it
though we don't know any of them, We don't know anything.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
But if she said, hey, I'm not comfortable with that
insult in my home, I'd be like, that's that's actually clean.
Or if they were saying slurs, yeah, or even if
they were saying curses and she's like, hey, I'd really
like I'd really like to move away from that language.
I'd be like, you're being a little bit of a prude.
But that's it's like.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Your house, you're in your house.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
That's not what she said.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
That's what she said. She said she stood up for
him like he was her kid.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Top comment this mount yt Your husband can handle his friends.
If it really bothers him. You may not like it,
but that may just be their dynamic. All you did
was give them something else to seize him about ammunition.
They didn't need more. But it doesn't hurt I suppose Yeah. Yeah.
And then it's like even the kid thing. If he

(23:19):
says anything about our kids, it's always a good thing.
You didn't get their big So they're still insulting him,
they're not insulting the kids.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, I don't know. I would like to know how
the husband feels about like I feel like that part
is omitted, like whether or not they like husband and wife,
have ever talked about this dynamic that it upsets him
or doesn't upset him, how it makes him feel like
could she be responding.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
From those conversations or is she just responding from how
she would doesn't mention that that's the thing.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
It's not here. We have a case we can't really.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
I feel like this is pretty common in male culture.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
You know, I mean to each other.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yeah, well it's not mean though, it's how we show love.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yeah, whatever you want to call it. It's like to
insult each other.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, but it's like familiarity.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
I guess you know.

Speaker 2 (24:09):
I can't relate though, Like if someone was insulting me,
I would be like, okay, well now I feel unsafe
and I want to leave.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
M I'm trying to thave of an example. I guess
I'm not that much. I'm trying to think of a
dynamic I have.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
It is kind of old school, like I'm okay with
being I don't know. I don't think it's like you
can't make fun of your friends, but like there's a
tasteful way to do it. I think first start is
we don't need to pick apart each other's appearance.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
I mean, I think like with my dad is where
this dynamic is very entrenched. It's like he's fashion yea,
he's in charge. Yeah, technically, he's in charge technically, and
then he declares himself the word o king every day.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
He's a way it really Yeah, I didn't know that
he loved word.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
He probably beats my mom about sixty percent of the time.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
What do you mean beat?

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Like they can there every day. And so then every
time my dad wins, he'll be like, I'm the world
king and he writes in all.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Caps in the group chat.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, And so then there nobody will ever engage with
his But then every time my mom's win wins, will
they be like effervescent, like.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
The word queen is here, all hail the wordle queen.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
I'm going to get into that group chat.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
That's I don't know about that.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
I gotta get myself at it. I think my best
bet is to bark up Carlos's tree.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
You want to get in my family group chat, okay,
Japanese businessman answer to number two.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
I just want to know what Andy's up to. I
can't believe I didn't know he was going to Vega
text him.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
Actually, I think I did know he was going to Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah, so he doesn't.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
It's very busy info, writes Bismuth von Feerson. Is your
husband black and his friend's mostly white? The nappy hair
has me thinking his friends are actually kind of racist.
I agree with that if she was bothered by it,
if she's black, if she's white, then I'm like please.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
But she's a white savior.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yes, oh no, she writes, Yeah, me and my husband
are both black, but his friends are a mix of
black and white people. Oh no, I think that's clean,
though you don't like if.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
They have a ten of her yes, not clean of
the friends.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
In other words, the whole like I have a black
friend thing. It's like, well, yeah, and if you're with
them and other people who have been established to like
be comfortable with that kind of humor, then that's the
humor and that's fine. But you can't be that's not
there's no that doesn't go outside of the circle. You
can't be like, oh yeah, well I can say it
in front of your wife.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
No, yeah, I also she may not like that. I
don't know, it's too far. I don't like it coming
from white person's mouth, even if they have a friendship.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Or you're white, right, that's not your right to police.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
No, but you.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Were making your little juwe you made some you know,
talked about some jokes that.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
You've Yeah, but that's that's because I am Jewish.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
No, we're on the same page, Okay, Yeah, but I'm saying, like,
I don't think it's Yeah, I mean, I guess you're right.
It's up to a black person to say if they're
comfortable with it.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
But some people have racial humor. That's why I've realized
it doesn't necessarily make them racist.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
It just is so context specific and like you can
just so easily enable shitty people by like agree allowing that.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Well, I think it's a white people to realize, like
one black person has you and a black person have
that dynamic. That's fine, right, But that doesn't generalize, that
doesn't leave that dynamic. That's it. It's a specific thing. Yeah,
this comment is regardless of the comments as racist. They're
using ethnic physical traits to mean bad, so they've got

(27:50):
things to unpack either way. I mean, I feel like
they're roasting I feel like it's roasting.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
I don't know they can more creatively.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
That's fair, we could we could say that.

Speaker 3 (28:01):
Also, like what's the deal, Like, do you think the
guy is like a loser?

Speaker 1 (28:06):
No, I think it's the opposite.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
But like what the other friends aren't worth making fun of.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
It's just the person.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
Usually he's probably he's like the one who gets picked.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
Up because he's winning the game.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
Oh do you think that's why?

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Probably, Usually the person are.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
So silly and simple.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
Okay, boys are that's what you just said. Boys are
so silly and simple.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
Do I hurt your feelings?

Speaker 1 (28:26):
No, my feelings.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
It's just it's just like, oh, he's doing best, so
we're going to mean to Yeah that's my boy impression.
Well I'm sorry, you're.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Being really immature. So yeah, I don't know. I feel like, oh,
I like I don't know, I kind of have a
dynamic like this, like people give me ship at my
social club. It's funny though, it's like it's just a joke.
Like I don't know, I don't know how to explain it.
It's like kind of like you become a guy.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
Like Danny, you ride around on the one wheel.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Nobody makes fun of the one they do. No, that's
rare specimen No. And I have a shirt I was
waiting for people to make this roast. And the shirt
actually like was annihilated by my washer and I'm devastated.
But it just said ZZ in helvetica. Do you remember
the Helvetica era? Maybe it was after your time? No
like that fun and it was Zzy in helvetica, but

(29:26):
it said ZZ. And I always wanted someone to say,
is your shirt says Zzy because you have a boring personality?
And nobody ever said it. I just thought it was
right there.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
It's not right there, DANNYZZ.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
We need three z's.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
Yeah, come on, how you getting to stretch?

Speaker 1 (29:44):
Okay, that's fair.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
You can't dang your friends for that, Okay.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
But like, I don't know, it's just a thing when
like you're kind of like a guy, you catch flak
for it. That's just normal.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
But like get something creative.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
They but you don't know, she's those are just the
one she remembers. They roast him, but she's policing the roasting.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Well, like, okay, so I get shit at my social
club and then there's a guy who like owns the
social club and he'll come in and like we're just
mean to each other. It's funny, it's like that shitty.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
I think it's just a cultural difference, like men and women.
I remember like experiencing my brother and his friends like
that when I was growing up, and I would like
feel like crying. Like I would be like do I
talk to my brother like that? And he's like, we're
literally just hanging out.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
It's just joking.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
But I don't know.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
No, it's good to know women you don't joke like this.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
I mean, I'm sure there are some.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
But you' That's why I'm asking.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Generally. No, I think I can be mean sometimes, yeah,
where I can be like sarcastic or teazy. I don't
think I'm above it. Yeah, but I think there's like
it's not my first.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Going this like idiot, dumb ass appearance. That's kind of
old school. It's so it's not surprising me that they're
thirty nine.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
Oh, because there like almost boomers.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
That's like giving gen X a little well no, but
it is like gen Xy is more into that kind
of thing, whereas millennials will go a little differently, like
the roast will be a little more creative and now
and forget the Zoomers. That's a good I don't even
know what to say about the Zoomers.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
I don't know either or Zoomer's gen z.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah makes sense, But I feel like she's stepping in.
She didn't have a case here. If if her objection
was racial, she said, Hey, I'm not comfortable hearing those jokes.
You're offending me. I don't want that language used here.
I'd be like, it is her house, like, you know,
that's her right. But that's not what she's saying. And
for these reasons, I think she needs to rein it

(31:43):
in a bit o she crossed. She kind of crossed
the line for me. It's very it's soft. It's soft.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Okay, I'll give you a soft.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
You give me a soft.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
I'll give you a soft.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
If you have any other comments.

Speaker 3 (31:57):
I would have comfortably said any age, but I'll give
it a song.

Speaker 5 (32:02):
It's a vibe kill, it's a vibe step, you know, like,
and it's embarrassing for him too, you got to be
I just don't think she's an aslak because they think
she means well, you know, impact means not everybody.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Did almost ever. There's like I think like one percent
of people really don't mean well.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
Do you ever not mean well? Oh, yeah, that's what
I'm saying. I think I often not mean well. Often.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
There is a spider in here the other day and
I didn't mean why I meant I went to war.
I was like, the disrespect.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
That's how you feel about fun about who flies flies? Yeah,
said you looked scared flowers, is what I thought you said.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
It's the thing is, when there's a spider by my window,
I'm like, I get it, it's right by the outside.
But when they're in my house, like deep in my house,
I'm like, you've really come into my home, overstepped, and
now you will be annihilated.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
But those fighters eat the other.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Bugs, I know. But then I have to let them
set up shop here. And they have a whole system.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
And I've got these wasps that have set up shop
on my balcony. They make this little, this little hive.
And I've lived in this house for like three years now.
The hive is very small, like I would say, it's
smaller than a tennis ball.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
You let them keep their hive, Yeah, and everyone in
your apartment.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
No, on my balcony. I don't really go on anymore,
especially after the fires, it's like covered in ash. Like
I tried to wipe the bench out there, and the
wipe stayed black every single time I went over. I've
kind of like given up on hanging out on my balcony. Meanwhile,
like these wasps have a nice little hive going, and
I'm like, who am I to get in their way?

(33:47):
And then everyone who sees it it's like you need
to do something about that before it's bad. And first
I was like, oh, no, it's good. It's like bees,
and everyone was like, you fucking idiot, It's nothing like bees.
Wasps aren't doing anything good for the environment the way
bees are. And then I was like, okay, fine, but
like they're just there. So that hive is just kind
of still on my balcony. I don't have a problem

(34:09):
with it right now, and I don't like bugs, but
they're not in my house, and I'm frankly like i'd
rather than if you're going to do it, do it
in the house.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
You know, you just rode off your balcony.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
Though.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
I feel like I kind of wrote, I said, this
is your.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Train now, giving it to the loss.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
I want them to have it.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
They don't.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
I get the light.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
At least bees make honey.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
I know they're really not a wasp.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
They don't do anything I mean embarrassing lame. It looks dead.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
We don't even live there. Yeah, we rented out.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
To other words. Yes, it looks dead.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
Not for us, it's very It's like.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
Ping pong all size are they going in it?

Speaker 5 (34:51):
So?

Speaker 2 (34:52):
What are you doing a hive? If you're not making honey?
Why do you guys.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Get talking you? They're like parasites. They rent out, they
rent out the hive.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
Have you ever been They're like my landlord word.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
No, I've never been stung by any anything anything. No
ANTIAVI asking my husband's friends not to make in the
butt of jokes of all time leaft soft yta, I
come soft? All right? Now we're going to addiction town, folks,
A a for using cannabis despite my wife's disapproval. I'm
a heroin addict in recovery. I put it in quotes

(35:27):
because some people wouldn't consider me in recovery since I've
been using weed. But I haven't such a pail or
powder since twenty sixteen, and that's clean to me. I
use weed to essentially help me quit. I went through
rehabs and detoxes, but nothing really worked until one day
I made the decision I was done. It was very
difficult to quit cold Turkey, but I made it through
the initial withdrawals and we'd help me immensely over the

(35:48):
following months and years as I learned how to live
my life, get a job, sleep Fast forward to twenty twenty.
I was working where I met a wonderful girl, Christian
open about it interesting, I've never met anyone like her.
Long story short. I went to church, got closer, started dating,
fell in love, got married. This is all to explain
my situation. Despite finding a higher power quitting the weed,

(36:10):
having community hobbies, healthy diet, exercising, I found myself miserable
most of the time due to my mental health, mainly
anxiety PTSD like symptoms which easily translate to weeks of
depression and difficulty in living normally. So after being off
it for one to two years during the time I
met this girl, I started using wheed again in twenty
twenty four. My wife has typical negative beliefs around it,

(36:31):
that it's a drug against religion, while I, of course
view it as a healing medicine. When you used correctly,
so she never really approved of it, but dealt with
it because she heard my beleeve of how it's supposed
to help me and whatnot. I love her, so I battled.
I was using it daily, but fell to nagging guilt
behind me most days, knowing she disapproved, and knowing people
at church knew, or her family they knew they'd find

(36:52):
it alarming. So eventually I threw away my puff co
and quit. Weaned myself off with edible gummies, but that
led me to have a weed inducedic attack for the
first time, which was miserable. However, a couple months later,
I had another craving and went back to low dose gummies.
They led to another panic attack. This never happened when
I was vaping. So now it's been a little over
a week since the last incident and I'm craving. I

(37:14):
want to buy another vape and start using it for
my own sanity, but I'm worried about going against my
wife's wishes and don't want to keep experiencing the panic.
I think the panic is from edibles not meshing well
with my body, as I've always preferred vaping, but also
because I have a hidden feeling like I'm doing something wrong,
Ai Ta.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
I'm disappointed to find out he's been vaping the whole time,
Like he wasn't smoking like flower.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Oh, because vaping is kind of gross.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Yeah, like he wasn't even rolling joints, Like you're probably
taking definitely taking in other stuff, not just weed.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah. So yeah, wait, what do you mean other stuff?

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Is there's like chemicals and weird thing like I've found
when I smoke a vape of weed instead of like flower,
I have a different feeling. Oh, it feels like there's like,
I don't know, it's weird, random sta stuff in there.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
Sure it's processed chemicals.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Chemicals. Wow.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
We both have a lot of history with addiction.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
I didn't know you had that much of history. Yes,
you want to say more.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
No, that's okay, just like close people.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Really yeah, yeah, I mean look, I've I've I have
struggled with various addictions. I did quit drinking in twenty fourteen,
but I and I was clean for a while. I
will say, let me let me draw my first flag there.
I haven't touched a pillar powder since twenty sixteen, and
that's clean to me.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
No feelings about it.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
No, honey, he's a boy, that's not clean. That's just
not clean. And there's someone else I know who will
call themselves sober because they don't get drunk and only
have an occasional no.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
No, no, these.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Terms are not free for you to you define you
are not clean and you are not sober. That's just
not what that means. So I'm always alarmed with that
because that is a form of like it's giving attict
but totally it's like, no, you're still young. Well, let's
you have California Sober. Yeah, but you're not clean. Yep,
So I don't like. I don't like that. You that

(39:21):
gives me.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
We gotta say it's it's not a lateral move going
from heroin.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
To wheat meat. No, it's not.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
He's moving on up.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
Absolutely. You know, I think drugs.

Speaker 3 (39:33):
Are got to take the WS.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
There is a spectrum, and that obviously is a pretty
big difference. There's a reason we're proud of that.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
It would be a good job.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yeah, it's better. I also have concluded that, you know,
I agree with the top comment which said a question
Celtic music books, are you seeing an actual mental health professional?

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (39:54):
I think that's super valid.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
Right, because you're depressed and stuff like why is the
next answer we go back to why isn't it therapy?
Are we on medication?

Speaker 3 (40:03):
With addiction? There's always underlying things.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
That's why we like go for something. I think so
and so like recovery comes not just from like the
detox or not using the substance. It's when you get
into what the underlying thing is and work through it.
I'm wondering if we've done that yet, especially when it
comes to like hard substances, because it's so like the

(40:27):
detox period is so intense and brutal that like that
whole experience of like quote unquote rehab can oftentimes just
be going to detox for a week and like oftentimes
just being like stuck in like a ward or something,

(40:48):
And so you're not really getting the experience of like rehab.
You are like coming up against yourself, like feeling the
worst you've ever felt physically for a period of time,
and then often and just being like let back into
the world with all the same proclivities without the skills
to kind of not go back there. And so it

(41:09):
doesn't feel it's like you've already put so much time
and energy into this thing, but you also really haven't
given yourself the opportunity to get sober from it. You've
just like literally become sober in your bloodstream. But now
we're just going back out into the world.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, it's like, what is rehab. You're supposed to be rehability,
were rehabilitated, you were just got it out of your.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Got it out, and now we're going back and it's
again brutal and exhausting. And I can speak from experience,
like one month in rehab feels like a year of
your life. But I think like, like, because I didn't
go to rehab for a substance, but the people in
my life who have gone to rehab for substances, Like

(41:55):
that's the one of the main differences I've noticed, is like,
is just like how much time goes into just that
aspect of it, and it's grueling work. Whereas for me,
like I didn't have to get sober from something, so
immediately the time was put into like working through stuff,

(42:16):
and so I'm also like exhausted, but in the same
period of time, I've come out of it with like
a few more tools. Then let's say someone else in
my life who's come out of it just like freaking
exhausted and sobered.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Yeah, and so it just takes like a lot.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Can we say what yours was?

Speaker 2 (42:34):
I think an eating disorder?

Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah. I think it's like.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
They send us to AA like it's an addiction like
anything else. It's not a substance, but like we like
I've gone to meetings before, it's you know, you're reaching
for something here, right, yeah? Right?

Speaker 1 (42:52):
And it has a compulsivity.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
I mean I had an insight recently. So I have
this movie Bros Club, The bros gets together, we watch movies,
and our last two movies dealt with characters that were
very repressed, I would say, very close to blank slate
characters depressed, repressed, just kind of stuck people. I don't

(43:14):
connect with those characters, and for me, they feel like
nothing because and I realized this because I was like
kind of like annoyed, and I felt like my ego
was almost like kind of bruised by it because like
all everybody else kind of liked the movies more than me,
and so I was like, what's the issue here? And
I realize I don't connect with repressed characters because repression

(43:38):
is not one of my issues. Because I'm an addict,
and an addict always has something to do. Just get
the drug thing, whatever it is, Get the thing, get
the thing, get the thing. It's like exactly, so I
don't connect with like there's nothing to do. I'm like,
there's something to do. And I know what I would
do I felt like I had nothing to do, I
would go get me some of that tasty little thing,
whatever it is. And I think that's something that maybe

(44:02):
the addicts listening can connect to. It is an active thing,
and that's an advantage totally. Yeah, a good thing. You
want work, what's that busy work?

Speaker 3 (44:10):
It's a ritual.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
It's a ritual well, and you want something out.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
And even And by the way, I also started smoking
weed after I got out of rehab, and it absolutely
was like my new like the time that I used
to spend obsessing about, like what my meals would be
or what I like. I don't need to go into
the details. I'm sure there are people listening who can relate,
But all of that time now is spent, not all

(44:35):
of it, but like that time that I used to
spend on that then transferred to like Okay, I'm gonna
get weed, I'm gonna grind it up, I roll a joy,
I'm gonna say with my friends, we're gonna smoke a bong,
like all these things. And again not a lateral move,
like I suddenly had relationships again and I was like
enjoying myself. But eventually it just starts to kind of

(44:55):
like numb you out, and I think I'm like a
vibrant person and it does kind of damp in me
and I don't think, but now we're talking about me,
but I don't think it's serving me as much as
it used to be.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
That's great, Yeah, I mean I eventually had still hard
to let go of it. Yeah, well that's okay, that's
good of you to admit. I mean I eventually hit
a point where I was like, I realized as I
made more friends, I started to realize. I mean, there's
a phrase it's like the opposite of addiction is connection,
and I was like, I really it just hit me
one day of just like, yeah, every drug is a scam.

(45:30):
It's it's the appeal of the drug, which I think
works very similar to retail therapy. It's about the fantasy
of the thing. Oh, this thing is going to make
and I'm going to use the thing. And then you
finally do the thing or get the thing or get
the drug or do the drug, and it's fine. It's
usually just fine.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
You're just chasing the initial chasing.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
But yeah, that said, I will I will say I
have two kinds of counter moves here. One is that
we've been saying this thing of like it's a lateral
not a lateral move. In other words, it's an upgrade
in your addiction. And I do think that's a thing.
And sometimes that's just where you are in life.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Yeah, I mean you got to check in because then
you end up where I am, which is like eight
years after rehab, And why are the standards the same
that they were the year after I got out of rehab,
Like I've got way more tools and skills and knowledge,
and like it shouldn't be the same.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Yeah, And I do, And I don't like weed. I
think weed is very normalized. Of course, alcohol is even worse,
much much worse than weeds and much more normalized. But
I do think we need's a serious drug. I think
it's a serious psychoactive drug. The fact that it can
give you a panic attack, the fact that you can
definitely get a weed blackout, It doesn't make people violent,
but it does. It fucks you up. It's a potent
psychedelic drug. Yeah, you know that said. To go to

(46:45):
go back on all of this, I will say I
had a good upbringing and I don't have a lot
of trauma, and like I do struggle to say that, Like,
I think some people do care. I think this some people.
I think this guy should see a specialist all that,
but like for me, there's something condescending about saying like, oh,

(47:08):
you just need to be clean and sober. Brother, I'm like,
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
Wait, condescending for you to say that to him.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
Yeah, I think life has just taught me. I'm like,
you know, I don't know that.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
You don't know his story exactly.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
You don't know, you don't know. Well, sometimes people go
through really really fucked up shit and it's easy to
be like you need to dig deeper. Yeah, like dig deeper,
Like I don't know, maybe he saw some shit that
can't be unseen.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
And that's and there's also like different things that work
for different people. Yeah, some people need like somatic things
instead of talk therapy and whatever.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yeah, I mean I do think what he's doing is
shit though that said.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
I would love to have a professional involved.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
I love to have a professional involved, and I would say,
on my charges, here are this is a person. Here's
the other problem with addicts is that we love to rationalize,
and we're good at it. We won't we won't go
to law school, but we will come up with a
court case for why our addiction is valid normally, and
we'll have all these reasons and they sure do sound good, right,

(48:09):
you know, like I quit for two years and I
had mental health problems, right, and it's like this other
thing of like I'm clean. To me, it's like sort
of creating this little like alternate reality, and you're moving.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
The goal post so you always end up inside the.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
Goal and I need it. I need it. It helps me.
It's a miracle drug.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
Did he say that?

Speaker 1 (48:30):
He said it's what did he say?

Speaker 3 (48:31):
He said medicine.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
I thought he said something something like medicine. I view
it as a healing medicine when used correctly, when.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
Used correctly, what's used correct exactly?

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Well he's using it's correct, is correct. So this is
all very classic addict thing and the number one addict
thing about all this really isn't even the use if
that's crazy enough. It's the hiding. Addicts love to hide.
That's where addiction, all addiction lives. Yeah, because I mean
that's the whole keep you sick, Secrets keep you sick.

Speaker 3 (49:08):
Because the opposite of addiction is connection.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
If you're being honest with people, you can't hide things
from them. Yeah, suddenly someone else can hold you accountable. Yep,
that's the benefit of being secretive. Nobody can call you
on your ship. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
Yeah, And I think he does seem like his heart's
in the right place.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
Everybody's heart's in the right place. Girl, I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
I'm going to find someone. Well, but he has a backstory.

Speaker 1 (49:37):
Or what's her name, JK rolling her heart?

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Yeah, for sure, she's.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
But like, yeah, I think it's tough because, like, you know,
having having had attict friends and stuff, it's like, I mean,
I think I usually fall back on this, like it's
not your fault, but it's your responsibility.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Because it is a disease.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
Yeah, you know, but like, yeah, you're the one fucking
up people's ship. That's you. That's you. There's nothing to
hide behind.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yeah, it's really tough, and like I've seen it, so
I just put this whole microphone in my mouth. Okay,
I've seen it so many times of people like making
their own kind of rules and like you really don't
get to get to the next place and you're sobriety
until you recognize that all substances are substances.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Yeah, well, I mean we do, like like caffeine is allowed.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess I'm talking in
terms of like you know, and then you're gonna say sugar,
I'm talking to nicotine, alcohol, weed, Yeah, yeah, nicotine too.
It's tough.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Yeah, I mean, I think it's just something that you
have to really reckon with and I think I'm still
reckoning with it. Like I had a realization. I was like,
I think my running for a minute was a bit
of an addiction.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
Totally exercise addiction is a real thing. I had to
figure out my relationship to yoga after treatment.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
Really major yet too much yoga.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
Well I wasn't really. I wouldn't even and say too
much too. I think I I did yoga my whole life,
and I don't think I really experienced yoga until after
treatment because of the way I was misusing it. Yeah,
but like I was addicted to exercise. That's very much
a thing.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
Yeah, I mean I think it's I think it's as
corny in la as it sounds. It's balance.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Yeah, anything created.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Money too, because people will think like, oh, you can
never have too much money, and it's.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Like, yes you can. And also like you can be
at work twenty four seven and have no relationships, you
can be going exercise classes every hour of the day
and never see anyone else in your life, like not
to mention, not have any meals, like whatever. It's just
anything that's a dependency. Yeah, should be looked.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
At at for using cannabis despite my wife's disapproval.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
I he.

Speaker 3 (51:50):
Using, calling him an asshole.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
It's complicated.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
I can't.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
I can't give him that. I have to.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Really, I think this is the first so sweet and considerate.
And he's not trying to hide it.

Speaker 3 (52:02):
He is hiding it is he he's saying.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
He's saying he feels guilty.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Yeah, he feels guilty, but he's still has She.

Speaker 3 (52:08):
Knows that he's doing No, she doesn't.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
Yeah, huh, this never happened. No, he doesn't tell her.
She doesn't know. He says that, he never says he
told her.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
He says he's been thinking. He's been thinking, but he's
been weaning himself off with the gummies. I'm sure she's
privy to that. But now he's thinking about the vape.
But he hasn't got.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
Anybody had the gummies from We don't We don't know
that he had the gummy.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
He never said he told her that.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
He said that the gummies were being used to wean off,
So I imagine that was part of the conversation.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
He knows that he's not being forthcoming. Okay Ata for
using cannabis despite my wife's disapproval. I think it's a nuanced,
complicated soft soft but it is a YTA.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Nonetheless, if I'm on board, you're like driving the boat
and I'm like holding a life raft, but you're still
holding on holding the life raft.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
Yeah, but yes, I mean it's complicated, but like you
got you gotta say something that's you, that is you. Yeah,
you know, guys, Thanks for listening, Ray if you subscribe
on Patreon picture dot com slash Ata pod wrapping up
on a silly one a TA for telling my dad
not to yell people's full names in public. I late

(53:22):
twenties f have been getting irritated with my dad fifty
six m about something he does. When our public dad
talks about people loudly using their full names, nothing bad.
It's usually just like my friend John Jackson Bottle Lake
Callous up in Minnesota, or quote my neighbor Kelly Garcia
just had her first grandchild. I don't see any reason

(53:43):
to talk about people in public using their full government names.
He lives in a medium sized town, and there's a
non zero chance that someone who knows these people will
overhear and assume it's some kind of gossip, non negative gossip,
non zero.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
What's that number that's not zero?

Speaker 1 (54:00):
My dad's been like this for years, but is hearing
as a client as he's gotten older and now he's
a super loud talker. This is a classic dad move.
My dad is in this territory super loud talker and
also super pretender to hearer. The other day, OPI goes on.
I went to my hometown to visit and we were
at the farmer's market. He was talking super loud about

(54:21):
his friend opening a bar, and he was using their
friend's full name. I told him he should probably either
talk quieter or quit saying the full name, and I
explained why my dad called me a sour puss and
said it was disrespectful to police him.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
Ai ta tower puss.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Oh, these stories. The best I can do for op
is to say these stories sound like they don't they're not.
That's not a story. My brand tall tacks a bottle
lake House. Okay, Dad, What are we supposed to do
with that?

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (54:52):
Is there an action item? There are we gonna go
to it?

Speaker 2 (54:54):
It means well, he's not doing anything wrong. I'm gonna
bring up some a parallelex experience that's maybe not at
all relevant. But anytime anytime I go to a grocery
store or a store with my dad, without a doubt
he'll be if we're like we lost each other for
one second, I just hear ma ma, like so loud

(55:17):
in a way that is embarrassing, Like other people are
looking around and I don't want to respond. Yes, it's brutal.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Yeah, And so we've.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
Like kind of bickered about it before, and now that
I'm also late twenties f I kind of find it
kind of funny when he does it. It's cute. It's cute.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
It's like, oh, that's my dad.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
But before I read the situation. That's what I thought this.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
Was going to be something like that. And I'm like, oh,
I get it, but it's kind of different.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
I feel like it's really not though.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Okay, good, I'm glad you think it's really it's super similar.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
Well, I feel like he's not doing anything wrong. He's
just being a dad.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
This is psycho the idea that so let me get
this straight. OPI actually thinks that good old John Jackson,
Kelly Garcia. So how does that converce? Kelly, You're never
gonna believe man, use your full government name at the

(56:21):
Costco one county away, a good costco as we know it.
And do you know what I heard him say?

Speaker 2 (56:29):
What?

Speaker 1 (56:29):
Oh my god, what do you say.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
You got a pool?

Speaker 1 (56:31):
I don't really know.

Speaker 4 (56:32):
But I thought he said you had a pool. Okay,
he's just reporting data. He was talking about you. He
was talking about you.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
He's being a good journey Yes, so he was talking
about me.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
Well, what's your point? Yeah, I know him. I'm just
saying it was negative gossip. I don't how would that
Why would you assume it was negative? There's just like
you have no case here, you're allowed to talk about people.
I walk around e Apart Lakes sometimes and I talk
all kinds of ship and I get paranoid. I do
because I'll run into once once in a blue Yeah,

(57:09):
once in a blue.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Goose, like you're worried someone will overhear you.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Yeah. Especially No, the geese, they're they're in my pocket
now if I fed them a lot of goops. Okay,
they know, they know, they know not to mess with me.
At least. Actually I do train the geese. I'm working
on this so I I don't know why I got
into this, but whenever a goose is like trying to
cross my path, I'll just say holt. I don't say stop.

(57:33):
I feel like holt. It just speaks to the speaks
to them, and they respect it. They've been pretty good
about it, but they do do deer in the headlights.
Sometimes I'll just stop and I'm like, bro, like you're
just staring at me.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
Did I tell you about the time Weenie mounted a
goose Echo Parkley.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
Oh my god. Weenie is Molly's late late Dusty. She mounted,
as in mounted to do the deed no thing because
crazy creature.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
Only humped three people. My grandmother on my mom's side,
my grandmother on my dad's side and my mother. So
she had a thing for Matrioch. She humped them, no
one else. But this was she was on a leash.
We were in Echo Park and I was like looking

(58:27):
around and I heard someone gasp. I turned around and
Weenie is standing picture a goose with its wings splayed out,
almost like Christ. And so then Weenie had one of
her paws on each of its wings and it was
like the Exorcist, Like the goose was like from the earth,

(58:49):
like coming up going like like shouting at her. And
my husky was so silly and simple. She's just like
cocking her head trying to understand what it's saying and
like why it's freaking out while she has her paws
like big big pause like.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Missionary position, missionary.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
It was brutal. Yeah, wow, I had to get her off.
Everyone was staring daggers at me. And then another time
she caught the air and drew blood. We never went
back to Echo Park.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
You know.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
The goose was saying, though, what my friend John Jackson
has away house. Wait, so the storry what was another
story you threw in another one about a pigeon.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
Yeah, just one time she was caught a pigeon in
her mouth at Echo Park Lake, and she drew blood
from the pigeon, and I was worried that she was
going to get a disease. But we also got a
lot of looks, and so we just kind of stuck
to Allsian Park after that.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
That's fair.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
He was an allegian gal where she could hunt for
gophers freely without judging.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
Yeah, they let you kill alasian.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
I propose that model. There's two kinds of Echo Park people.
There's Echo Park people who go to Echo Park Lake,
and this is for people who like cute little park
like me with ducks and geese.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
And then there are the hunters.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
And then there's the hunters, these games men who go
to a Lesion park, which, if you guys don't know,
it's basically like a mountain park that surrounds Dodgers Stadium
with beautiful views of the Dodger Stadium parking lot.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Okay, so you have feelings about it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Oh God, I think it's so nice, pretty, Oh allegiant park. No,
I like the park. I just bothers me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
Yeah, we don't need to look at the park.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
There's a mural. This drives me. This drives me to
drinking and pot and heroin. There's a mural that shows
Echo Park the neighborhood and it's got all the little
staples and I shit you not. They depicted the Dodger
Stadium parking lot on the mural. I'm like, why would
you put that there? Get rid of the parking lot?

(01:00:46):
Get rid of I want, like, you so miserable for
the car drivers?

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
What pave Paradise put a parking lot?

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Yet?

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
What put up a parking lot? No, don't get off
my podcast anyway. So Dad, Yeah, I feel like dads
do this and they get loud, and that's just what
dads do.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
It's just gonna happen. They hadn't happen.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
When you're a dad, you just got to let it happen.
And I think it's great. God damn it. We talk
about the male loneliness epidemic. He got too funning. I'm
proud of him.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
He's connecting and he's trying to draw more connections.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
You know, And this is a thing like I feel
like in general, like people are embarrassed by their dads
and stuff. He's got to run.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Lucky to have embarrassed.

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
Amen, that's the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
That did nothing wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
It's so silly and embarrassing. I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
My dad, we're actually believing now that my dad doesn't
really know how stores work. He my mom killed in
the group chat with this story.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
See I would know this if I was in the group.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Chat, right, I think, f y C.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
What's that for your consideration?

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
Dad goes to some store and he told he was
with my mom, and to be fair, he was out
of his element. They were they went on like in
Alaska cruise and he's like, I really have to go
to the bathroom. And my dad has poor bathroom skills
as well. He's like, not a good bathroom strategy. He
like he doesn't know that. Like, you gotta pee before
you go. You gotta I mean, I've learned you always

(01:02:13):
pee before you go. It doesn't matter if you have
to go. You don't want to be in a situation
where you gotta go. You just if you have an
opportunity to go, why wouldn't you go? Just go because
it's gonna be a problem.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
Like yeah, like me, and when we took that walk
the other day.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Exactly, so sure enough he's having a situation. He's in
a store. I had to go I gotta go. I
gotta go, Soyvia and he literally and then my mom's like, okay,
go and he goes. He sees a sign that says men's.
They're in a clothing store, and he goes to the
men's clothing section.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
He gets so soon like that's Men's closed.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
You fucking it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
I didn't start pissing on them. What is that general direction.

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
He would be seen that would be very concerning.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
But think he had very instincts.

Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
Our friend, John Jackson, I.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Think it's cute. Get over it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
It sounds like a good day.

Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
And it also sounds like your dad is doing just
fine in your hometown at the farmer's market. How about
you do your shopping in your town and you don't
have to come bother your dad. Yeah, building community.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
And maybe he wouldn't be saying their full names if
you went and visited their first grandchild and their lake house,
and then he would just say, you know Kelly, Yeah,
you know.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
John, you John with the mustache.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
This is getting embarrassed by proxy.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
Yeah, and that's on you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
That's on you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
I love when something is on someone else.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
Oh it is a good feeling.

Speaker 3 (01:03:37):
That's on you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
It's so common. I think projection is the most one
of the most common things out there. People just like
I made a joke to someone and they got all
huffy about it. I forgot, I forgot all the details.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
But come on, you're gonna tell his story without any
of the details.

Speaker 1 (01:03:54):
Oh yeah, I know what it was. I basically was
saying like, oh, I don't know. It was like a
casual like oh yeah, and then we all most hooked
up and we did it. It was like slightly dirty
man talka It wasn't bad. I was like, yeah, I
thought we were gonna we're gonna hook up. We do
it well, okay, And this person like threw a little
mini fit of like don't don't be gross with like,

(01:04:15):
don't bring stuff up like that. And I was like,
oh my god, oh my, can you imagine two adults
going to a bar and hooking up?

Speaker 6 (01:04:22):
Oh my god, Like, okay, like you're thirty years old,
I'm sure you've heard of such things.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
You'll be okay, honey.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Yeah, that's on them.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
It's on them, that's yours.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
That's yours.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
Leave them with themselves.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
Yes, Oh I like that. That's a good one of them.
Leave them with them, Leave them with them. Yeah, be well,
it's giving be well right, Well, we wish them well
and we wish them all tay time. My dad not
see how people's full names in public. Are we gonna
call her the asshole? Little?

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
Yes, it's y t A's hard driving the boat. Yeah,
you're gonna come for Dottie.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
I'll get on the boat.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
Fuck it hard yt A.

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
Folks, thanks for listening much, love.

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
Much, What a day, what a day. Thank God for
my to breakfast really power and slept with the duck.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
All right, folks, we'll see you next time.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Bye bye,