748 AITA for living with my boyfriend for free? (ft. Radu and Karla)

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Great little ep with Radu and Karla has me saying emphatically... HAPPY MON MON HUN HUNS!

(0:00) - Banter
(16:22) - AITA for telling my wife she shouldn't reconnect w her past friend?
(32:57) - AITA for living with my boyfriend for free? 
(46:07) - AITA for being unsupportive of my friend's career change?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, everybody. Welcome to a IK pod. I'm Dandy Vega,
joined by Carla and Mere. Happy Friday. Well to the listeners,
it's Monday, but have you fridayed us? I guess. Thanks
thanks for listening to the show. Do we have some
drama to discuss? Gang? What are we talking about today?
I well, I mean I can. I've completed my transition

(00:26):
from one wheel guy, which is like an electric skateboard.
Now I have an electric unicycle, which, according to the Internet,
is significantly less cool. But I'm having fun.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
You're like in one of the cities where that's it's
not one of the things that's on the cool radar, you.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Know, neither is it's not normalized.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
No, like if he was like not recycling, if he
was like proudly littering or something that would affect his
ability to have sex with people. But like riding a
dumber and dumber vehicle here is like that won't affect anything.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
It didn't hurt me. I broke even.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, I live with that.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
So are you not doing your one wheel at all anymore? Well?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Not really. I'm trying to get good at the electric
unicycle because I'm gona buy a sick hog. There's one
that goes like forty miles an hour, and I'm gonna.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
Get that that's too fast.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
You need to get a leather jacket with the tassels.
You need to ride like look like a like a bike.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Angel, you.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Can read this the bitch fellow, what.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Did you say? So I have my Pokemon cards. So
I have two Pokemon cards. I put them up on
my mantle.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
It's too U graded and protected Pokemon.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
I brought them from the store shadows volta shadow list,
which means they came out when me and Carla were
like kids. They're the exact their first generation Pokemon cards.
And saw him and he said.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
I was like, oh, Danny Foley gave up pussy. Now
he's like out of the gate.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
So I guess I'm out unicycle Pokemon cards. Yeah, I'm
just out.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
You're just trying to pull a specific kind of pussy
as well.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
I mean, if that's how you want to word it.
I did go on a Hinge date. I felt kind
of bad because she was actually really cool and I
enjoyed her. I just wasn't really attracted to her. Yeah,
but we actually had a great conversation.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
I hate those Yeah, rip to those.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
Interactions.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
No, no, no, no, well sorry, no, where you're like I want,
I like, I'm we're into how things are going, but yeah,
my shitty male brain can't make me more attracted to you.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
No spark.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, there's no spark, And.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
I feel like maybe that's something I don't know. Maybe
again going back to historical stuff or whatever, women have
had to acquiesce that more where they're like, you know,
I don't love that he's bald and fat, but I
get past some of it whatever. Yeah, and it met
are just like, nah, she used to be a perfect
like ten out of ten, now she's nine and a half.
I'm cheating.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
But I mean it's not just physical, though there's it's
not it's not attraction. Is I don't know. It's a
weird thing because I've also known people where I'm like,
I don't think the're particular attractive, and that one day
I see them and I'm like, oh my god, how
do I never know they were hot?

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Is that just about you being horning on a specific day? No,
I mean that.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
I think it's environment, Like what we were talking about
before we started recording, right where I had this friend
for a long time, and then we were in a
specific situation and suddenly I was like, whoa blinder's gone. Okay,
abs and body and what yeah, okay, long and I've
never felt this way.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
That is really funny though, because I'm like imagining, imagining
the story coming from my end where I'm like, you know,
this lady I was hanging out with for a while,
but really then one day I kind of sorry and I.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
Was like yo, But it was more like the situation
we ended up in was like the setting was like magic.
You're like looking around, You're like if we were two
other people. Yeah, right now, in a relationship.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
It's a setting, it's a situation. So it's a specific behavior.
They do something that impresses you just like shifts your
view a little bit down. I don't know what it is. Yeah,
it's weird, it's not I don't know, like I think
men are shallow. I think that's fair pigs, it's it's
it's shallow if you're shallower. But I also have at

(04:14):
it where I'm like, oh my god, they're so hot
to me right now.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yeah, so that though, yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Well, yeah, that wasn't it. Well, it was like I
like you, but there isn't this personality sparky.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Was the personality was the opposite You've misled me. Yeah,
but I.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Think women do that too now more than before maybe,
Like I feel like my generation of women are like
more picky, if that's what you want to say, like
where they are like not settling as much, but they
are like I want to feel that thing, which sometimes
happens over time, but like your friendship.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, I can take time.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
It's y'all's era to do that. Yeah, like it's you've
You've earned it.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
This is our moment.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
I think women have gotten thank you. Well, yeah, they
because I mean the dating apps. You know, I don't
feel like women when I don't remember in middle school.
Now I may be wrong, but I feel like men
have always said pig, pig monster things around me, you
know about oh boo boo boo or whatever. To be fair,

(05:16):
that was a bear who said ito. But like, yeah,
now and now every woman will really probably say six
foot you know what I mean? Like you hear that a.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Lot, yeah, which is you know, it's funny. I was
the statistic that came out recently. I think globally, only
fourteen percent of the population is over six foot.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
I love it. The five foot eights. The five eights
are loving this fact, yes.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
So and now, but I haven't like I want to
like look up double ds because I feel like that's
way more common than being six foot.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
Oh my god, I have crazy fact. We were playing
Jackbox TV yesterday, you know it. Yeah, anyways, it was like,
which bra size was the most common in twenty thirteen. Okay,
it was thirty six double D.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Boom, my eyes roll out of my head and land
on the sidewalk.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Limit.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
Yeah, but yeah, I think double d's a really more
common than we think.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
I don't really understand boobs. I'm gonna go ahead and
admit it.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
Because so the bra size is the number, is the amount.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
I know that, I know the mechanics roughly. But what
I was trying to say is I've been to the
girl who had a's and they were like incredible a's.
So it's like, there's not it's not correlated how you think,
oh right, about.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
How you use it. It's how the shapeness drop smell
all kinds of yell.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
You threw and smell. That wasn't exactly what I meant.
Shape pilos sometimes I could be big despite low specs.
I think that's what I'm trying to say. Wow, and
it's definitely true about five foot eight the surprisingly amazing height.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
I forget Hassan Piker was talking about short kings, but
there was another term that I can't remember right now.
It's like, short kings are the short guys who are
confident and they're good guys. They're they're good. Yeah, there's
another word for short. Some things that are napoleons. Yeah, exactly,
that are like I'm shot, but we need they not

(07:22):
like me because I'm sure and but and they don't
see like any of their other faults.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
We need to under I'm perfect. There's people there's people
who are tall but are personality wise or short for sure.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh so true.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
We need a word for that.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
You you are one of my friends who like, you're
exactly as tall both of you Are'm like, yep. But
I have certain friends who I'm like, oh, you're tall,
and it's because they're energy.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yes, they're small talls.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
They're small tall. I love that.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
I can't remember who said it, but I heard something
a girl one time. Maybe it was a comedian or
something where They were like, the reason I date six
one guys is because they're more motivated to get out
of coach.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
And I was like, I mean that's like a it's
a stereotype, it's whatever because it's uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm just
gool in such a dumber way. If you're if you're taller,
there's more like expectations of like you should earn money,
you should do this, you should what.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
It's also true, well they say it's easier. The more
attractive you are, the easier to is a correlation. Yes,
hotter you are, the more money you make, which is
why I make infinite money. It's getting sad, sad, No,
but that's true. They pay you more if you're hot.
One of the many ways the world's unfair.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
Well, it's also women. Right, I'm going to say this,
but there was a show where this guy was like, oh,
everyone has to come in and say, teach me how
to be better at dating, and it was all parody stuff,
comedians going so mine. When I came in, I was like,
I'm going to teach you how to be better at dating.
I'm going to teach you how to be taller, because
that'll make you better at dating, and then I had

(08:57):
all these facts about how in Darwin and his women
were attracted to tall men because they were more protective,
they were more able to give them shelter, like all
of those things. So all of that kind of is
that true today? Now?

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Well there's still advantages to it, right, you know, because.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Real quick, just a quick cap is Jack Bux games
quick blash. Yes, Okay, it's the weirdest. This is such
a weird thing going on. I'll tell you why. I'll
tell you why. I was over at somebody's house because
I knew a comedian and we got into the the
subject that I was an uncredited writer on a Comedy
Central roast whow and people were like talking about for

(09:37):
thirty minutes. I swear to like, oh my god, that's
so whatever. You right, And then at the end of
the night, we're about to leave and the guy whose
house we're at or something, we're talking about his job,
you know, and he was like, yeah, I was on
the team with jack Box, and I was like, jack
Box was that. I was like, His fiance is like, yeah,
he made quipplash and I was like, you invented quickplash.
He's like, what was the team effort and stuff. I

(09:57):
was like, we're talking about my fucking thing that you
can't find on IMDb, and you you didn't even you
let me like an asshole in your house for two hours.
I didn't know because they live in to Look Lake
in a nice apartment, but not that nice to know that, Like,
oh you made QUI blew my Yeah that that fucked
me up? Yeah, great guy, Mark Cool?

Speaker 1 (10:20):
You know you know a jack Box person.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
I probably saw his credit last night.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Flex.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
I don't know. I'm not really that impressed by it.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Sorry, it's internationally he's a big deal, but it's like
I was never really impressed with their game. No, but
he like his wife. Yeah, his wife to be was
like big up aing me like this is raw? Do
he opens for David Tail? Then people have to explain
that's good, They have to explain who David.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Usually be impressed with you till I got to know you.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
But most people they have like who's David Tale, Like
it's a sixty two year old man that was famous
in early two thousands. But then you say quiplash, We're like,
of course we've played.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Though I thought jack Box I think their main thing
was it was brilliant. The way they set it up.
You could play with your phone. That was genius.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
You could also, I think it became big during the pandemic.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah, exactly could play on a zoom and ship.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
It was a thing a billion people interfaced with. And
My Thing might not have been watched by a million
people when it aired live, but the way that they
were talking about it was like I was at tianm
and squear.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
I guess, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
You saw a Fourth of July celebration.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
I don't know, but certain things don't really impress me
like I would have really if like someone's like, yeah,
I came up with you know, airplane mode, I'd be like, great,
that's cool. We all know what it is. But it's
kind of like, yeah, okay, yeah you did that.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Plane well doesn't bring us joy though.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yeah, it's about joy creation.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
First of all, airplane what brings me a lot of joy?

Speaker 1 (11:43):
You like airplane mode.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
You're like, my phone just doesn't work.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
Now you think it's for playing with it. I think
I'm an airplane.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
It comes the airplane.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
I don't know, Like I'm trying to think, Okay, so
if it's about joy, I'm trying to think of it. Well,
if someone's like, yeah, I invented the jump rope, I'd
be like, okay, so this just.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Doesn't impress me. It's universe like like sold the skeptical.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
I'd be like, I don't think you did.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
Though. What if you met the person who invented Pokemon.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Who invented Poke, I would say we were talking about
this in that episode where Pokemon invented or discovered? I
think they were discovered.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
No pocket Monsters was invented.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
You think invented? Yeah, I think they are discovered.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
What do you mean discovered?

Speaker 1 (12:26):
Anybody would come up with Pokemon, and they did. They
came out with digimon. It's kind of like, yes, you
came out with like little fake creatures. It's like okay, okay.
When I was twelve, I would have been blown away.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Well, you have two on your mantle like cast ups,
so it must.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Mean well, but to me that I have yeah, I
do have case up and don't even think about open themount.
I would never but like Pokemon, you know, I don't know.
It doesn't impress me.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Okay, I feel it.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
I just thought of this. This is nothing to do
with anything. If you ever wanted to ruin Pokemon for
someone and be like, you know, it's an allegory for Christ, right,
and then you'll just never get it.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
I'm just stare at it. I don't want to go
if you don't know, I don't want to get into it.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, think about it. Ash the Chosen One
ex with Misty a whore and Brock.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
I'm not going more into it. If you don't get it,
you don't get it.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
I have to look into that professor.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Oh, the initial choice, the initial choice, Yeah, to do
what he says or not Pokemon Yellow. You'll they're like,
what you're just saying? Crollian City, Nazareth Hello?

Speaker 2 (13:31):
Hello?

Speaker 1 (13:33):
Now if you don't know, then you're ignorant.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Brock Hello, Rock Jim Hello.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
They're like, you're just screaming at me. That's nothing to
do with the Bible.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
The elite for Hello, lead four?

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Are you not getting it? E? Lead four?

Speaker 4 (13:51):
Twelve apostles twelve divided by four is three three the
Holy Trinity like it's it's it's honestly condescending, bulbousur squirt TV.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
This is why podcasts are important.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
Because half the population right now is like, we hate
these guys, they're not getting to the good stuff. And
then the other half that's listening is like, holy shit,
they're firing on all cylinders.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
I would be lying if I didn't say, I'm going
to look into this after we look into what everything
you're saying.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
We know, we are literally saying we are making up misinformation.
Do not look up.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
She doesn't believe in sometimes does that.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
We perpetually take.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
The second story of the day. Thanks for listening, and
my apologies to the gen Z listeners who don't give
a fuck about Pokemon red the original Pokemon's ai t
a for living with my boyfriend for free, my gorsh
But first, folks, it's a juicer. It's a juicer right

(14:50):
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(16:20):
Aiita pod. A ita for telling my wife she shouldn't
reconnect with the past friend after he lied to her.
My wife recently reconnected with a childhood friend at a funeral.
He lives in a different state ten hour drive away.
They exchange numbers and add each other on discord so

(16:42):
they could game together. This is not the issue. The
issue is he told her about how his wife died
three years ago. Yeah, he still wears his wedding ring
and hasn't dated anyone since she died. Well, this is
a lie. I found his insta got dozens of photos
with the current gf, who he called his girlfriend in

(17:03):
the posts dating back to twenty twenty one. Most recent
with her was from earlier this year about how they bought.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
A house together.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Huh, he told my wife about the house, but nothing
about the long term girlfriend. I brought this to her
attention because she doesn't follow him on Insta. Her response
was quote, I need to process this and make my
own decision about it if I want to be his
friend or not. I explained to her how this made
no sense and made me uncomfortable. She explained they used
to be extremely close, and she admits this is a

(17:35):
red flag, but so she still might want to be
friends with him. I continue to push how this makes
no sense, and she said I was being overprotective of
her and essentially being an asshole for wanting to quote
unquote force her to not being friends with him, when
all I'm trying to understand is why this isn't a
deal breaker for her.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Ai Ta, my guy intercepted a future affair right there,
and they're really happy about it.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Musted, give us a chance.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Don't cry.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
I didn't even don't even turn up ten hours though.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Wait, which was it ten hours part?

Speaker 1 (18:09):
Ten hours away?

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (18:12):
I don't know. You don't have to be physical.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, intimacy is the digital stuff.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Now.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
I was more being like, it's not annoying if drive
five hours and that's give me in the middle. In
the middle, but he'll probably drive. He's thirsty. I can
sense it is.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
He has a wholess.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Girlfriend, working ship and lion. The wife died.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
He's a widow.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
He's well, yeah, I guess so's't that called a widower?

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (18:36):
I don't like how they did that.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, why did that have to be ger widow and widower?

Speaker 3 (18:42):
Why does there have to be a missus and a
miss Why do we need to identify that?

Speaker 1 (18:46):
But let's talk about where it should be.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
A widow.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
A widow is a woman whose husband died, and then
I think you should be a middow in the middle
is a man whose wife died? What's doing with that?

Speaker 2 (18:58):
If you're on TV doing stand up in the nineties?
Famous right now, everybody, he'll be in the Midwest. So good.
But I did I just thought widow was the gender
neutral term.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
Now I think it's becoming maybe more like actor has now,
Like there, no one's really saying actress anymore. They're just
saying actors.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Actually we should I'm an actress.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
There you go, he's an actor from both Yeah, I
just say an actor. It's what it is.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
It doesn't need to be too big of a deal.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
Yeah, but I think that's a huge red flag that
he is like lying and keeping that from her, because
that is definitely the reason that he's doing is because
he doesn't want her to know he has a girlfriend
that he's living with, and shit, that's weird.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
That's weird.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
And she's being really weird about not caring about it
because she's upset that she wanted to reconnect with this guy. Yeah,
and now it's weird and she's like, well, you took
my chance away to get to know him again.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
You can really make a case that you're like, well,
how'd you guys used to be so close. What happened?
Did he meet this bitch? He met this and his
wife and now you are close to anymore because his
wife was like, you can't talk to this bitch, and
then she died and now you're like, well, new opportunity.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
I was thinking to reverse whatever whatever I have. I
have a thought. I'm ashamed to have Matt fucket. I've
already said everything on this.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I think there's a caveat though, Okay, the caveat I
think is the dead wife. And I'm like wondering what
if she was, Like what if the dead wife and
this old friend were really close? And so he's got
this weird thing about being like I don't want to
tell her. I've moved on. I want, you know, like
some people I want.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
It's a good conspiracy theory.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
That's I think that's the only room that the wife
has to be like, I need to process this. I
need to talk to him because it's making sense to her.
But like, yeah, that is a red flag. That is crazy.
But I know this guy enough to be like, I
don't know that he would do that with misintentions.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Maybe we'll come back to my confession. So to see
you a bit I like it, okay, I mean, and
what she is saying, let's just I think we're all
going to probably see this how Carla immediately read it,
which is this is basically like sauce. It looks like cheating,
smells like cheating.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
It's probably cheating or like keeping the door open.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, keeping the door open.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, keeping the door.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
But there is the Radu conspiracy theory, which is that
he's lying, not to not to cheat, but more to
just doesn't is it ready to be forthcoming? Well but no,
but it's public on his Instagram. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
And my thing is also like why lie about it?
You know what I mean, Like you didn't have to
say I've never dated anybody since she died. That was
just a lie. You could have just said nothing about
your personal dating life at all.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, he's he's up to no good. Okay, I think
I know they're ready for my.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yes, yeah, you hit the you hit the Instagram thing
where I'm like, what, so they're reconnecting or she's not
following on him, like.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
She looked at his Instagram. She didn't follow on you know.
It was one of those like oh she doesn't want
to be it too obvious, you know, Yeah. So my
confession is I've had this thought. Fuck, I don't want
to say it, I'm gonna say it now.

Speaker 3 (22:09):
I want to hear.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
It's gotta be good.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
There's just this this girl. I've always liked her for
like a long time, and I've had this thought where
I'm like, God, what if, like whoever I marry, if
I ever get married, they got to be hotter than her.
I have to know that they're hotter, because if she
came around and tried to make moves on me, I'd
be like, yeah, like I'm I'm switching trains.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
And been waiting for this and that's fucked up.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
That's fucked up.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
And people do that.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
But just because she's hot or because you're just overall
more attracted to her.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
That's making my stomach cringe.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
It's the hotness.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
It's not just the hotness. It's just that she awakened
my sexuality. She was like the first girl I was
ever attracted to. Interesting that shit forms a young man.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Was it unrequitted comparably?

Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (22:55):
I was unrequired?

Speaker 2 (22:56):
Yeah, that's all it is. It's just like what you
can't have session because I'm telling you would have, Like
if if some reason you you guys, would you would
have sex three times? Then you start seeing what's annoying
about her and like she.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
Doesn't her on a pedestal.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Intellectually, I understand, I know you're right, but it's just
like it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
Let me tell you a story. Hell yeah, I know
two people and they were dating for a while. One
of the persons lived out of the country and moved
to Los Angeles to be with this person and get married.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
She did, and he she left La.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Nope, she left a different country to come to LA
to be with and marry this guy. Okay, long story short.
They ended up getting married two years later, and then
a few months after their marriage, he starts to be like,
I don't want to be with you anymore, x Y
and Z. All these things you do are annoying, and

(23:57):
she's like what the fuck? Like you've known all these
things about what is going on. Come to find out
through a friend who hit her up to be like, hey,
how are you doing? Sorry I didn't check in earlier.
I never thought he would have cheated on you, And
she's like, what didn't know that? So she finds out
through the friend that he had been cheating on her

(24:19):
with this other woman, one woman over a couple of
different times that he wanted to be with, and at
first in the beginning of their relationship cheated on her
and hooked up with this person who then was moving,
so they never had anything come to fruition. He continued
to date his wife quote unquote girlfriend at the time,

(24:42):
and then after they got married, that woman came back
around and was like, hey, what's up. And that guy
lied about being married light about this thing hooked up
with her. She found out all this shit and was like,
that's fucked up. And he kept basically leaving his girlfriend's
slash wife to bet with the one woman who he
thought he was going to have a future with but

(25:03):
never was going to And he basically imploded this really
amazing girl or like loss is really amazing woman because
of this greener grass person.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yeah, I mean, And I could sit here and agree
with it intellectually and be like, I know, the grass
isn't actually that green, it's simulated grass, it's the illusion
of grass. But it's still this fear I have, like
a deep fear that I also I also like, I
like to be very transparent, Like I don't I don't

(25:38):
like to have bad thoughts like that, Like I don't
want to look at my wife and be like.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
I'll leave you for this other person.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah, I don't want that in my head. I want
to know factually I would not.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Part of that is there's this, like there's you know
you'll never and you'll never know this. How much is
you and your thoughts and your idego whatever superstructure and
how much of it is like superimposed societalhierarchy, because if
you put your same personhood in some new society where
you're like, yeah, I mean I have my wife, We're
never going to leave each other. But I found this
person more attractive, so I had sex with her twice

(26:10):
and then that's it. I'm never going to see them again. Yeah,
you would never be like I'm having bad thoughts and
I'm judging myself for that. You would be like, ah,
we have impulses and they're kind of gross and then
you get past them and whatever. I think realistically, we
will never know. It makes no sense to be like good, bad, whatever.
It just makes sense to be like, how would this
hurt somebody? Do I like hurting people? Do I like

(26:33):
getting something even though it hurts someone? Whatever?

Speaker 4 (26:35):
You.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
You're just saying I have to deal with that.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
You have to do mathematical stuff and deal with it. Yeah,
and it's also not that big of a fucking thing
to deal I'm sorry, sorry to be little. Yeah sure, yeah,
do find one of these new bitches. I think I
got me an old bitch. I can't do nothing, but
you find you a new bison.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, I don't know. I mean that that's I was
just and I said that. I said that to just
understand this woman, who I think is angling to cheat.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Top comment difficult. Joey se four or five five. This
screams weird. They reconnected. They only just did so. They're
hardly close with each other. The guy lied quite a
big lie. She seems like she's overreacting to the news.
A normal person would call him out and block him,
but she seems dramatically effective affected excuse me, almost as
if she'd been suckered into him. Being single. Makes you

(27:25):
wonder what her brain's been thinking.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, I would also love, you know, not to say
more info about Yeah, what are you gonna acknowledge it?

Speaker 4 (27:34):
Like?

Speaker 3 (27:34):
How did he respond when you talk? Because I don't
even think you necessarily have to like call him out
and block him. You could be like, why did you
lie about this? And see what he says. A lie
like that is weird for sure, but also like crazy
people are really weird.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
I think people are weird, but this kind of weirdness
and on top of transparent.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Yeah, and on top of all of that, I think
the husband being like this is making me wildly uncomfortable
should be enough for you to not always touch with
someone you haven't even been in touch with anyway.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
That always has to be the first thing, because if
it's like, well we're co worker as well or whatever,
you have to start having some convo. But you're like, no,
this don't just don't do nothing for you.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah, you literally don't need to do that.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Not even so somebody said whyta?

Speaker 1 (28:22):
If you can believe that somebody wrote why ta, she
made it completely clear what her stance was. I need
a process this and make my own decision about if
I want to be his friend or not. It was
basically another way of saying, I'm an independent adult, cable
on thinking for myself, and you need to not treat
me like a child. Give her time. See where those
chips fall. Yeah, that's really, but it's kind of it

(28:46):
kind of seems that that's all she said. She never
said like, hey, your feelings are valid. I would be
uncomfortable if I was in your position. Yeah, I'm not
ready to block him or whatever because I need to
process this, but I hear you instead. It feels more
like a little like sleight of hand thing people do,
where it's like, I'm invalidating what you're saying. I'm not

(29:09):
listening to it, I'm not hearing you, and then I'm
going to like make you feel like you're being controlling,
even though what you said is obviously a legitimate right.

Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yeah. Well, it also feels like she's potentially getting defensive
at feeling duped. And I think sometimes people do feel
embarrassed by things that they fall for, so that could
also be her response, which is like, uh, fuck you
for knowing these things. I should have figured out myself.
That's embarrassing, like that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Well, yeah, I mean I agree with you. I think
that's part of it too, And I think it's okay
if she has to process it and doesn't want to
make the decision that day or whatever. Yeah, but the
fact that then she said, oh, you're being overprotective of
me and essentially being an asshole for wanting to force her.
I kind of feel like she's putting op in that position,
which is like classic crazy making behavior where it's like

(30:00):
not dealing with what you said, not dealing with how
it's affecting. You're not dealing with the fact that it's
obviously a tell and this guy's up to no good
and said it's just like, well, you're crossing my line.
It's like, girl, you're crossing the fuck out of this
relationship lines, not acknowledging it. Fuck you, maybe you don't
need to fuck tell you no.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
I mean with me, I'm also trying to look I
like what you're doing. You're like, I'm not trying to
look at for like, what are all the other reasons
this lady would be having this reaction besides just like
you caught me cheating or you caught me setting up
a setup or whatever. Right, And yeah, I did think
you kind of nailed a good one of like one
being embarrassed to being like, who knows what decision let's
say they had if it was like you know, me

(30:40):
and my guy friends or whatever. We talk on the
phone all the time, eleven years about whatever, and my
wife's like, how is his you know, marriage, I'm like, oh,
he's never brought it up. I don't know, it's not
what we talk about. Maybe that's the relationship these two had,
uncommon between man and woman sometimes, but it's it's not impossible.
Who knows, not impossible. Maybe they were fun. Maybe she

(31:00):
was a cool bitch that was down with fantasy football
all the time. That's all they ever talk. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
It's possible. A lot of things are possible.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
It's just I think this is why INFO is so annoying,
because I'm like, all right, you can call it info.
I'm not going to, but I'm saying, like, well you
can call him from be like, yeah, we'd all would
like more context. But like, if you just have to
use the context you have, which is what the husband
is doing, it don't look good.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
It don't look good. NTA what is there a process?
Wrights finger Links twenty nine. Your wife is hurt learning
that her affair partner has a long term partner. She
felt betrayed one hundred percent. They are old fuck buddies.
They rekindled the relationship and fuck again at their last meeting,
now she's hurt. Give her time to process that she
is only number two in his life. Whoa the super Brits?

Speaker 3 (31:48):
Your wife time to process that she's number two in
her affair.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
God, really is a lot of reach. But I mean
probably how the husband feels if he's like, I've talked
to you about this and you immediately like just did
not validate what anything whatever? Like, Yeah, so it's a
dangerous territory.

Speaker 3 (32:08):
It is a dangerous territory. But then it's also like,
imagine if the roles were.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Reversed, Oh yeah, you'd be guy. That guy's cheating.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
This is classic Darvo deny deny attack right, reverse victim
and offender. Classic.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Never heard of Donny D, never heard of Darva manipulator tactic.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
I do it to you.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
Guys all the time.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
He ta for telling my wife she shouldn't reconnected the
past frint after he lied to her. I'm saying NTA
and yeah, brutal here. Sure this is three and no guys,
but these rate reviews. Subscribe Join me on Patreon, picture
dot com. Slash eight Pod two hundred and fifty plus
bonus episodes, every single episode ad free. Here we go, folks,

(32:56):
it's a I t A for living with my boyfriend
for free. My boyfriend twenty three M and I twenty
three F started living together four months ago. We had
been dating for about two years, and I decided, with
my least ending in him buying a house, we would
move in together. He bought his house that used to
be an oil company okay, flex huh, So it needed

(33:17):
to be completely renode, and I mean completely. We are
currently living in a camper on the front lawn of
the house until it's finished. With this being said, we
talked about how we would do bills. I said I'd
go fifty to fifty with him on utilities, but I
refuse to help pay the mortgage, as this is his
house and a commitment he was ready for. He makes

(33:38):
good money as he is alignment for me. On the
other hand, I make less than half of what he does,
and I'm also in nursing school. The other day we
had a convo about bills because he said the mortgage
with Reynolds is beginning to get a little expensive and
he wants help paying for those types of things. I
denied and said that he was ready to buy a
home and renovate. I was not therefore I'm not able
to help much anyways, because of the checks. I pretty

(34:00):
much already go to bills for us, and I buy
all the groceries. He got a little defensive and said,
this is our home and I should help pay. I
don't think I should, so AI TA for sticking with
our original plan.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
Interesting did you say they were married.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
They're not married. That's her boyfriend. She's a nursing school.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
Is she pregnant? Yeah, I thought I heard that.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
I know because of the way. No, it's honestly, the
situation is so weird. You're like, how are you just
in a relationship?

Speaker 1 (34:28):
They're just in a relationship. They live in a camper
in front of the house he bought. He's a lineman,
she's a nursing school. I think that is maybe the
first interesting aspect of this. He is investing in a house,
but she is also investing in nursing school, which doesn't
necessarily benefit him much like the house. It's probably the
best I can do for him.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
Frankly, well, yeah, because it feels like, if they're not
even engaged, why would she invest in a property that
doesn't belong to her at all? Paying rent, living in
the trailer that could be something.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Agree and I thought it was interesting. A lot of
the comments said, should you pay him whatever you'd otherwise
be paying in rent to house yourself if you didn't
have his camper van to lean on. Yes, I'm kind
of like, yeah, I'll pay you rent for living in
a camper van, right, Yeah, it's the market rate on
living in a camper van.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
Guess depends on what city you're in.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
One exactly, like give me a break.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
But also, if she's going to start paying rent, then
he needs to start paying for half of the groceries
because if she's paying for all the groceries, that shit
gets expensive. I'm gonna say. I mean, it's not thousands
of dollars a month, but like Danny for instance, usually
it does all the grocery shopping. And I see their
grocery list. Marcus eats a fuck ton of growing boys
like the sixth floor or some shit like that. Yeah,

(35:49):
but like that adds up. Is groceries for two people
is a lot of money. So if you want me
to pay rent, you're gonna have to start putting money
towards the food that we're both eating.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
I like, we've come to this place a lot, And
I do believe that if you agree to live with
someone and you set out an agreement and then things
play out differently, that you can pivot. I think that's reasonable.
Life changes, things change. Agreements have to be flexible, especially
because you guys are on the same team. Sure, that's it, Yeah,

(36:20):
go ahead, No, no you well no, I'm just I'm
kind of like it's a little frustrating because it's like,
first of all, I don't know anything about this, but
I think that's nobody does. Right. It's like, we're going
to take an oil company and make it a house.
I'm like, I don't know a lot about real estate,
but that seems very unconventional. It seems like the kind
of thing that's like, well, yeah, we reckon that'll cost

(36:40):
ten grand, and then it's like, no, it costs fifty
grand because it's a fucking oil company. Like it's like
you're really reaching here, and so I kind of feel
like from her perspective, I'm like, yeah, like, your bizarre
reno is not my problem. Obviously, you're gonna have cost
overruns because you chose to take over the old Exxon
Valdez off whatever.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
He's probably an office I'm not imagining any refining or
drilling equipment.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
Yeah, I was thinking of a fact, bitch, I.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
Don't want to live in a will. Yeah, it's a
pump jack, not a no. I imagine if I had
a house, I owned it out right, no mortgage, and
I had a girlfriend and I was like, you should come,
uh live with me. I wouldn't charge her rent. That
would be insane. Bitch, you got eight hundred bucks a month.

(37:28):
This guy owns his camper. I imagine unless he's like in
some sort of renting the camper situation and then you
have to help pay the reverse title loan or whatever
fucked up financial situation you got in, fine, then yes whatever, No,
I don't think you pay rent on the camper. I
don't think that makes it's.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Crazy to charge yours.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
I think it's no. You charge you with utilities, you
charge whatever something or whatever. But like, but even the.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
Camper is on the land that he owns and is
probably paying towards which is a stretch. But if the
if the house was done and they were living in
the house together, I'd be like, yeah, pay money towards
the mortgage the fact.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
But if there's no more that's if there's no mortgage,
if he just owns it, and that's what the situation
was with the camper ca.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, but it's kind of like, yeah, I mean, look,
I'm I'm I'm definitely leading your way because it's like, god, man,
you're going to capitalize on your girl when you own it.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
It doesn't make sense something like that, not to mention
she makes so much less than.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
That that that yeah, well, I mean, but that's what
I'm trying to say too. It's kind of like, well, yeah,
like I can cut you a deal, but I don't
think it's crazy to charge her market market rent or
like reduced market rent, but like something because I'm like, well,
I'm investing in my future and so I can't cut
you that much of a break, and you're investing in
your future, which also won't benefit me. They both have

(38:51):
exclusive benefits here, like she's not married to him, Yeah,
but he's not going to benefit from that degree, right,
So they're both investing at the same time.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
I guess you're right to some degree. I mean, if
they the real problem here is like why aren't you
getting married? What's what's the hang up here? Because basically
you're willing to say I'm not interested in getting in
a business arrangement.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
They're only at two years. I feel like it's he
could be they're young, twenty three. Yeah, I just think
here's what he said. Right. The other day, we had
a conversation about bills because he says the mortgage with
renovations is beginning to get a little expensive and he
wants help with paying for those types of things. I'm
kind of like, yeah, sounds like a you problem. Yes,

(39:32):
I mean I think he could say, like, hey, I
know we initially said that you would not have to
pay rent, but I think we need a renag on
our deal because I don't think it's fair. But that's
not what he's saying. Yeah, it sounds more like I
didn't really know what I was doing. The renods are overrunning,
and now I'm just gonna throw it on the one
person I can. It's like you gotta come come alive.

(39:53):
More correct than that.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
For sure. And if she was in a position to
actually do that, I would say, maybe you ask that,
you know, like if she has a huge salary and
she's able to afford to help him, but also if
she wasn't there at all, he'd need to figure it out.
So you can't use her as.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
A safety plan.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Yeah, as a safety blanket. You got to act like
she's not a safety blanket because she at this point
is equal to not being there at all. She doesn't
have money to give you.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
And the disparity is huge here. And I was just
talking about this because the way did we say how
much he makes?

Speaker 3 (40:26):
She said she makes an half?

Speaker 2 (40:28):
How much as a lineman make enough money to have
a second family.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
I mean I would probably as a.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Twenty three year old, probably not. But when you're doing fact, no,
it really is. You're you're laying electrical cable sometimes in
emergency situations, after hurricanes, after whatever. These guys are notorious
for having like electricians are, but these are these are
people with like that they do. They get very like quickly,
trade school.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Whatever call one hundred grand, we'll call it one hundred grand.
Is she's probably making fifty grand. And we were just
talking about this on another episode.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
Making like forty five because she said half.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Forty five ninety something like that. Forty five, one hundred.
I think that's the most money. Is real gap right there,
because like I have friends that make two hundred you
know whatever. That doesn't we're not gonna live drastically different lifestyles.
I mean they might if they're crazy, but like you
know what I mean, it's just like you got to
really scale up once you're past six figures. Otherwise, like
it's not really field now because it's La. It's like

(41:23):
you were talking about your front your the jack box guy.
It's like, yeah, they're rich, but La, they probably just
live in a nicer luxury.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
Well that's the thing about these Lineman guys, Like they
live in Florida and whatever, so like they need sixteen
thousand dollars a year to live comfortably, and then they
have a surplus of eighty thousand dollars a year and
they're like I'm having two or three extra kids on
the side here, it's gonna happen. Like that's so that's
my big fear for this lady, where I'm like, this
guy's not even trying to get like all right, so
she's not trying to marry you necessarily right yet. And

(41:52):
he's also asking you to put in equity to a house,
but he's not giving you some sort of arrangement about
like you own ten percent of it, you own whatever.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
He is a classic. Yeah, he's not setting it up
for her at all.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
No, no, no, he's a classic. Like, how do I a schemer? Dealer? Whatever?
I don't know anything else this again more info needed
about the context whatever. But this is how you set
yourself up for a drastic failure.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
I do think it's a little mean. Honestly, you're kind
of winning me over. My leftist side is coming alive
on it because I'm like, damn, bro to Charger girl
that you love two years, two years, so we're on
marriage track, you better be or be done to say, yeah,
I'm gonna charge you rent. It's like, really, you're gonna

(42:35):
charge her rent? Like you can't give her a sweeter
deal than that.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
Like the only excusable part to me because I was like,
he's twenty three, right, if they're both twenty three or whatever?
Like being raised in this bombarded like everyone's got to
get there's hustle culture. Society atrophies your brain into thinking
you're like, maybe I should get rent out of my
girl's my ten Yeah exactly, Yeah, yeah, so I could
see that. I could see that, Hey, man, society, your

(42:58):
iPad made you so stupid. You believe that's it, But no,
I don't. I think that's reprehensible behavior, and it's kind
of explicitly why people think about marriage in the first place.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
Sky to beech, who is the op rights a whole
list of things. I'm not technically rent free. I pay
for half utilities, and I do pay for all of
the groceries. Our original agreement was to go fifty to
fifty on bills. Since we're in the camper, it's not
too expensive since the house doesn't have utilities yet, the
price I'm paying now is cheaper than living my own
in the apartment. I was at also not to mention
this was our plan, so I can go to nursing

(43:30):
school and focus on that. I don't have a say
in the rennos, nor do I want to. It's his
house and he should have the freedom to do what
he wants. What I've gathered from all this is to
have a conversation when we move into the home. I'm
going to make changes, and especially if I'm further lung
at school or a nurse and have more income. But
as of now, no, Yeah, I just feel like I

(43:52):
just feel like he made a deal, and I'm kind
of like I'm sorry man, but like your your capitalism
isn't capitalizing the way you wanted to. That's kind of
not her problem. Yeah, sounds like it's like Reno's like,
I could be much more on board if he's like, Hey,
I'm really starting to feel unfair and cheated by this arrangement.
I feel like the groceries aren't that expensive. We've been

(44:15):
eating old hot dogs for the last two weeks. I
know you're not spending that much. But he's not saying
any of that. Kind of just more sounds he's like,
I'm fucked, fucked because I'm fucked.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
It's like, no, yeah, I can't at Lea's piss bed
with me.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, and people keep saying People keep saying like, oh you, oh,
you shouldn't be for free. I'm like, yeah, maybe she shouldn't,
but that's the deal that he made. It's been four
months and he's only saying shit because now he's in
fock City now Aunty living go ahead.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
I also, we're not we don't know that she wouldn't
pay half the rent if they were in a studio
or in a one bedroom. We just know that, like
he's got a camper and if he's not renting it
and he's asking for a half a split or whatever.
That seems bizarre.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
It's bizarre. Yeah, I'm at Auntie Leavin for my boyfriend
for free. I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm honestly saying Antia
and he slightly is because I'm like, you need to
grow the fuck up. You signed the cot House thing
and you can't just put that on your girl.

Speaker 3 (45:14):
That's right, or you put a ring on it.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Yeah, or put a ring. Oh yeah, there we go.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Yep, folks, same thing as you say.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Rate review, subscribe, Join me on Patreon, Patreon dot com.
Slash ai t a pod two hundred and fifty plus
bonus episodes, every single episode ad free. Join now and
we'll send you a tiny raw do in the mail.
He's a good boy. We've trained them and yeah, he's
very small. It's about the size of a quarter and
he just kind of what does he do? He like

(45:44):
yells little sayings at you.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
It's just basically like anything you enjoy, kind of bums
you out about it. You're like, you know, actually the
supply chain is made with whatever, and then you don't
keep him around as much because you're little facts.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Yeah, the premium tier will give you a tiny, tiny Carla.
It's about half the size of the Rado.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
More fun is what does.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
The Carla do again?

Speaker 3 (46:02):
Oh? She just tickles you.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
She tickles you. She's a little tickler and if you
squash or you go to hell. All right, folks, Hey,
I t a for being on supportive of my friend's career.
Change two hundred and sixteen thousand dollars in loans plus
interest to be an actor. You read right. My friend
has a bachelor's in health information management. She quit her
seventy grand job last month and took out loans to

(46:25):
go to a private school for acting. The costs fifty
four grand a year. When she first told me, I
bust out laughing because I thought she was joking. She
then went into detail, showing me the school, of some
of the events and some people she met also going
to the school. Then realized she was very serious, and
I got extremely upset. I said, are you aware that
you still live at home with your mom, who is

(46:45):
a single parent of three as an older daughter. Instead
of moving out and lightening her financial burden, you just
quit your seventy grand job to pursue a four year
degree in drama that in total will cost you two
and sixteen grand. Keep in mind, I'm being nice because
she took out a loan. Therefore it'll be over too
in sixteen because that'll get interest. What you're doing is
extremely selfish. You went from making fifty grand last year

(47:06):
to seventy grand this year. You're finally progressing in your
field and finally making enough to manage on your own,
and now you're dropping this bomb on your mother's lap.
You're twenty seven and you just quit your job to
freeload on your mom, who is a janitor, for another
four years, so you can pursue acting. Acting is not lucrative.
It's not about a degree. It's about who you know
in that industry. I think that was her, Oh, why
don't you get your old job back network and pursue

(47:27):
this on the side as a hobby until it hits
She was upset by my response and called me on
supportive negative in which she never told me, and stormed off.
We haven't spoken in two days. I just think what
she's doing is wrong and selfish. In this economy, You
quit your seventy grand job to pursue acting, asking your
poor mom to support you. For four years. What maybe
the way I could have said it more nicely. I
was just in shock. Since she's old. In me, i'd

(47:47):
assume she'd be smarter in regard to finances. But here
she is gambling her entire life ATA what it's a
good one.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
Key words her entire life, not yours, Op. Sorry, I
feel like it's fucked up. I'm it's hard being in
the industry. Like I'm like, is this AFI or some
shit that she's going to because two hundred and six
doctor for that about you got to law school for
that amount of money. I agree with Op, that gets

(48:17):
about who you know?

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Games right?

Speaker 3 (48:20):
Literally, I mean like drama tours or whatever drama turns
are rama.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
I think the highest level of scientology is cheaper if
I'm not mistology premium. Yeah. It's one thing to be like,
you know, what's the same, Yeah, because it's not just
about with the person being like, oh, I'm not necessarily
supportive of your life and how this will lead to whatever.
I'm like, you're getting ripped off by a clown school masquerading.

(48:46):
Is Matthew McConaughey's private symposium or whatever?

Speaker 3 (48:49):
Like well, I also feel like her main issue or whoever.
Op is main issue is that the person is freeloading
off of their poor mother, which I agree is so
fucked up in selfish. If you want to quit your
job and pursue acting and go to an extensive, expensive school,
guess what you need to figure that out while you
also work your way through a rent where you live

(49:10):
somewhere else and you free up that space from your like,
you're not your mother's responsibility anymore. At that point, I agreed.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
But I'm also kind of like, is that really any
of her business?

Speaker 3 (49:23):
It's not a peace business.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
No, And honestly, like this mom, it's kind of her business,
you know, like.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Why did why did the person? Why did a person
bring it up to a p in the first place?

Speaker 1 (49:35):
I think you're happy about it? She was excited.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Yeah, so you do friends, You tell them what's going on.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
You know, if I was in that situation and it
wasn't acting right, someone was just like, yo, I'm doing
good life whatever. But then also, I met these guys
and it's gonna cost me two hundred thousand dollars and
I have to go to these kingdom halls, and I
consider myself like, I don't know, I know, more birthdays
and whatever. I'm you couldn't. Is it wrong of me
to be like, don't become a Jehovah's witness now and

(50:04):
give you all your money to this thing, because there's
even cheaper cults if you absolutely have to go to
find you know what I mean? Yeah, be a Seventh
day Adventist, be a Mormon. There's a way, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
Like, I mean, I've I've had this. I had a
friend who is investing a lot of their time into
you know, like essentially like what is it called, like
trading signals kind.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
Of stuff, options and bullshit.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
And yeah, well yeah, just like bullshit. And I was
astrology for men. Astrology for men. That's really what it is.
It's literally the same. It's reading charts and stuff like that.
And I was like, he is super into it, and
I just told him the truth. I was like, hey, man,
that stuff isn't real. But I support you. I'm on
your side. I hope it works out for you, but
it isn't real, that's my opinion. And that was it.

(50:52):
I kind of dropped it because I was like, that's
not going anywhere good. And it wasn't like he spent
two hundred grand doing it or nothing like that. So
I think that's my issue with how this friend how
op came at this, because I feel like it wasn't
very curious. It was just very condescending and kind of
like you're managing this person's relationship with their mother, like

(51:13):
that's their mom. Like, honestly, if it was such a
burden on mom, she should have been like, hey, you
have a job, or you make seventy grand a year,
I think it's time for you to get out of
my house because I'm done supporting right right. If she
didn't do that, then she didn't do that, she kind
of normalized it. That's kind of like not your business
to police. True, you could bring it up. I think

(51:34):
it's a question you say, how does your mom feel
about all this? Yeah, okay, and she's like, oh, my
mom's a fucking bitch. She's getting all mad, And you say, well,
I mean I kind of see her side. See that's reasonable.
But to just go in and be like, have you
realized you still live at home with your mom? Yeah,
I'm acutely aware that I live with my mom. Yeah,
that comes up every day.

Speaker 2 (51:55):
Well, I think this is the weirdest I have a
lot of friends who, especially in the show business, delusional whatever.
But sometimes that delusion, you know, it does pan out,
and so you're like, you know, you can't say never.
And so my newest kind of technique is being like,
let's go through this as if it's all going to
work out on the upside, and you spend it two

(52:16):
hundred grand and then eventually like, that's great, Wow, you're
in the next interstellar. That's amazing. Now let's go through
this is if it doesn't work out at all and
you spend two hundred dollars and even medical expenses came
up along the way, and now you're even deeper in
the hole and whatever. Yeah, and can you live with
both of those? If you can live with both of
those outcomes, go ahead, keep doing your thing. And usually

(52:37):
I found that to be an incredibly powerful tool. Some
people are like it forces them to not be like, oh,
I'm a hater and I'm just not supporting them. It
forces them to see that reality that the delusion is
hidden away from them in.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
A beautiful little cave. You're saying to explore it with them.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
The same positive exploration, because you're asking about curiosity and
whatever That is a great tool when you're trying to
get people out of Colt's delusion, LDS, Seventh Day Adventist, whatever,
all that shit I'm saying might be better than three
hundred thousand dollars with acting school.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
It's just so much money.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
It's so much. It's so much money, you know. I
think exploring is a much better mode. I think people
get this was a very like hysterical reaction and it
wasn't effective. I don't feel like the friend was persuaded
at all. I feel like they were just hurt. So
I think it was very ineffective at the very least.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
Yeah, Yeah, this is the soft touch thing. You could
be totally right, and you could be because if it's
if it's a sequence about that much money, and you're like,
hey man, I can see two years from now your
mom's health deteriorating, Like this decision could literally kill your
mother faster.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
I know that, and I don't say anything. I'm gonna
live with the whatever, Like I understand that that might
be codependent. Yeah, but I do understand it. That's how
I live my life. But the soft touch is the
thing you got to figure out. You have to do
it how can I say this in a way that
the person doesn't hone in on me saying something negative
to them?

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Absolutely well, because being right or like in this case,
how they're kind of family like smarter. You know, it's
it's valuable, it could be valuable. It sounds like you
have an insight, but if you don't deliver it, well,
you're harmful and you're useless. You're worse than useless. You
just brought her moved down and made her feel bad
about something and nothing changed. So like you got you
gotta change your taxed. On the other hand, sometimes you're

(54:23):
real with someone and nobody else was, you know, and
sometimes I don't know. Sometimes better to be real anyway.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
Yeah, I think it's just better to be as far
as the arts and pursuing a dream and whatever, and
this is unpopular. I know it's just better to be
unsupportive than it is to be supportive.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
I would go that far.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
That is funny though.

Speaker 2 (54:45):
It's just better because I just think person is really talented.
They're gonna overcome your little boy to give some grace.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
She could have said like, hey, I think you're gonna
be an amazing actor. But I also think there's all
the ways you can get really good at acting, they
won't cost so much money.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Have you thought about that.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
There's so money, so much padding that they could have
done that they did not do. Because the other thing
is when somebody comes to you and they're really excited
about something and then you're just like, Eh, everything you're
saying shit is shit, and you're on and you're going
about it wrong, and it's like you could have been
a better friend and been yeah, like more encouraging about

(55:20):
Oh my god, I'm so happy that you've decided to
go after your passion. Now, Like, what would it look
like if you went part time at your job and
did acting part time and balance it out until you
were more in a space where you saved you know,
like there were other ways to go about it.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
I think normally I wanted to agree. I think we're
all lined up there. I think normally for this I
would say like OP was so inept, even though they
were so right, The way they delivered the message was
so inept. It makes them an asshole. But in this case,
two hundred and sixteen grand is such a huge amount
of money, such a vice grip of a commitment. I

(55:58):
kind of am like, yeah, they're reaction was shitty, but like, honestly,
if you really cared about someone, like if my brother
was like, yeah, I just threw down. I just signed
an eighty thousand dollars contract for a time share, I
would yell.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
But I think I would yell yeah, but in all honesty,
there's no they're not putting that money down. They're not
even putting fifty thousand. They're paying a few thousand at
a time for all. You know, your friends starts doing
this thing and three months later they're like, actually, this
isn't what I want. Like, it's not the full commitment
right away. You can let the person start the thing
and then see how it goes and let them have

(56:33):
their own realization.

Speaker 1 (56:34):
You can get out of it. You sign a contract
with that too. I mean it's not pretty.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
There's certain things and maybe this is like just a
type of neuroticism I have or whatever, but there's certain
like disparities and value. Like if someone's like, this is
my brand new Honda Accord, I'm like, I'm very happy
for you, and they're like, I paid eight hundred thousand
dollars for it. I cannot I'm about I might stab them,
you know what I mean, I'm like, you fucked up
so bad, You're making the rest of us look like

(56:58):
it's just it. It makes you lose your logic and
ability to have compassion for I'm not even focused on
the fact that they got ripped off. I'm like, this
story hurts me so much that I'm hearing this. Yeah,
that's basically I think what's happening.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
It's so far gone, you know what I mean. It'd
be like if you're yeah, like like or like, you know,
people get like like, oh, I bought a huge truck,
it's only one thousand a month, I'd be like, what
you know, It's like I can't, I can't.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
I mean that's like I had a friend who had
a Tesla prior to all this stuff, and I remember
him being like he was working all the time. I'm like, dude,
you have like four jobs. He's like, yeah, bro, Like
I bought this tesla when I was an editor for
this big company and I made enough money to like
put a down payment on it, and now like my
work has like thinned out a lot, and I'm like

(57:47):
struggling to make these car payments this and that. And
I was like Damn that sucks. Like you've already been
You're in the commitment, like you have to figure it
out now, right, And then when the cyber truck started
to like come out, he posts on Instagram it's like
reserved a cyber truck, and I'm like, so you're gonna
go ahead and just make the same fucking mistake again,
like and it for me. I would see him every

(58:09):
day at work and want to say something and be like,
how are you gonna complain about not being able to
pay off your Tesla? And now you've you're buying a
brand new two thousand whatever cyber truck and you don't
have money for it, Like that's dumb, right.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
If you can't tell that, right, because it is impolite
to be like, hey, I don't you know. It's your finances,
your decisions. You're allowed to make a horrible decision, you know,
the same way I'm allowed to go into a bathroom
and burn four hundred dollars bills in a row. That's fine,
We're allowed to do that. I guess legally, maybe I'm
not allowed to fuck with us tender, although it's deflationary.
If you burn money that helps the you help everybody

(58:49):
help everybody.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
It is.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
That's one of the few few cool things that billionaires
do is light their cigars with one hundred dollars bills.
I'm like, that's helping the economy. Wow, But I do think,
what are you supposed to do with you? Like I
almost want to tell someone in a way instead of
being like you shouldn't make that choice, I was gonna
make thank you for making a choice so bad. You're

(59:11):
giving me a story to tell forty other people. I
think it's the only way for something to register that, like, Wow,
what you're doing is so bad, You're gonna set an
example for the future.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Yeah, making an example of yourself. Yeah, Auntia for being
on supportive of my friend's career change. I think normally
I would say it's yta, But I see what you're
saying Carla with like, yeah, she didn't just lay out
m but she signed contracts. She created a lot of
like paperwork and bureaucracy that are gonna support this momentum.

(59:41):
It's gonna be a low key nightmare to drop out
and just personally just like not go and it's it's
gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt a lot, and yeah, I
wasn't ideal, but I just kind of understand op And
for these reasons, I'm met no assholes here.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
Interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
I'm going to go like slight, just soft y t
A because I don't know if the person's autistic, because
if you are, then you're not that's your second time.
Then you're n t A well because you got to
you got a grade on a spectrum curve.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
That's what I say.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
All right, fine, but if you're not, if you're not
neurodiver vergent.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
That is it asshole to say everyone sucks.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
The only thing that that there there is to suggest
it is someone like not be like computing how bad
of a decision it is, and not being able to
soft touch, to be like, don't do that? What about
your mom? What about whatever? I'm like, yeah, dude, I
know a lot of aspergers or spectrum people or whatever
who who would immediately do that same thing, or at
least just have to stop themselves from the compulsion of
wanting to whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
I think I would have a really incendiary response if
I was in a weak will power day to this.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
I also want to say that I don't I think
that the friend is an asshole for doing the mom thing.
And I know you were saying, like the mom can
create her own boundary to kick people off, but that's
not always the case. Like sometimes people are like weak
willed and they love their children and they want to
support even at their own expense. And that's like saying,

(01:01:14):
if I see my mother struggling to work all these
things and then I just choose to let her do
it because I know how much she loves me and
I take advantage of that, that's shitty.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Yeah, I don't know. I struggle with that. I feel
like you got to let it's not your business. You
can say, you can say, like what if you took
a rout where you didn't put that pressure out your mom,
But to act like it's like that's mom's business.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
It's mom's business, Well, it's not Ope's business. I agree
that none of it is Ope's business. But I do
think from the friend's point of view, like doing that
is shitty because she knows her mom's gonna let her
do it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
I agree, Hurt. I don't know why I'm saying I
disret because I agree with you. I'm just kind of
giving Op a pass right. I feel like Op was
emotional because of her empathetic response being like, yeah, you
just you just jumped into a giant pit. Yeah, like
it's gonna be really hard to climb out of that pit.

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
Okay, that's like a lot of immigrant parents do that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
I just got my last sort of little thing on this.
But I'm realizing, because what's the role of a friend?
Sometimes it's to be whatever, Hey, you shouldn't do this, whatever.
But I think you have to identify if you're in
someone's support group, if you're just a friend of theirs
that's in their periphree, sure, or you're like, you know what,
Dave relies on me for stuff, whatever, then it is

(01:02:30):
your duty. And maybe maybe how you say it it
doesn't matter as much. It still matters. It's still whatever,
but there's just a little diminished capacity. But if you're like,
this is my tennis buddy, co worker, whatever, by yeah,
you gotta shut your fucking mouth, you got it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
A true friend might respond this way.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
True friend has to respond. It's not about if in
someone's support group. Explicitly, part of the reason you exist
in their relationship is for some of these things. Balancing
out seeing my blind spot, sure, yeah, giving me crazy challenging.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
But like we were saying, curiosity is a better route
to challenging than just being like what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Yeah, but to push back a little bit too, if
if if the person's in your support group, you need
to also understand that you're like sometimes they're not. They
don't have to always be as soft and curious, and
they're not your mom, and they don't have to baby
you because when they're because you should have some trust
for the seven people that you've said, Yo, I will
trust you no matter you know what I mean like that.
So we don't know if that exists. But that's just
my again.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
So are you coming to no assholes here with me?

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
I'm just saying this. This is a nice this is
one of my future things. You're like, I actually I
could come to it if it come to it. We
don't know what.

Speaker 3 (01:03:42):
I feel like. No assholes here is also the same
as everyone sucks here.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Yeah they can't. I'm going soft white ta with the
guy that had to give the information. But op, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (01:03:54):
Carla final answer e s h all right, folks with jokes.
Thanks so much for listening, guys, play away. Carla.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
You can find me on Instagram. At f U N
Underscore k e E Fun Underscore k e E. I
just put some red carpet photos up of myself. My
legs are looking super nice.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
R A d you hard to spell b O n
d A r raw du bond ar. I won a
lot of pods these last couple of weeks, so check
it out, but just type it into YouTube. Stuff pops
up Roast Battle League podcast, Jason Ella's show. I don't
remember what else, but I've just a lot of content
if you want to hear more of this annoying voice

(01:04:35):
type that weird name in.

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
I like your voice, it's your personality. I like, all right,
love you all, thanks for listening, Bye.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
Check you later.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
The Competitive Depetit