754 AITA for calling wife 'the warden' in the boys chat? (ft. Mollie)

Happy mon mon hun huns, hope you had a great weekend. Enjoy the ep!

(0:00) - Banter (The Yosemite Electric Unicycle Incident)
(18:55) - AITA for wanting my GF to pay 50|50 rent?
(32:19) - AITA for wanting to stick to plans?
(41:57) I found out my husband has a secret group chat where he calls me "The Warden"?


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, everybody. Welcome to a I T A pod. I'm
Danny Vega, joined by the very enjoyable you know her,
you love her. It's Molly, my brother, my brother. Hello,
we're adapting me and Andy's joke to Molly. Now. I guess.
So that's the new state of affairs.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, that's pretty much all the updates from here.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
That's it. Thanks for listening, everybody. Yeah, I've got some
pretty pretty big updates. Will definitely be revisiting these with
Carla because Carla went. But I went on a big
Yosemite trick.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Carla was there.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Carla was there. Yeah, oh my god, it was your birthday.
We got to talk about that too.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
I really want to meet Carla.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
You're going to get to meet her. You're recording with her.
I think she does, though I don't know.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
She doesn't even know.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
EXIT probably does. Carla doesn't even Guys, I planned this trip.
I got seven people together from my co working space.
She just seems fun going to go to Yosemite. She
seems like a fun game. We're going to get you
guys together. I need you to be here now, preferably Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
I'm just like excited. Imagine us on an episode together.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
It's gonna be great.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
You wouldn't get a word in.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
We're gonna do it, okay, and Cayla. So Carlo is
picking me up and I basically had this sort of
like minor debacle. I'm not going to go into, but
I was wanted to bring my friend the Seltzer water.
He likes. What was the debacle? Just we had a
tiff you in the front. Yes, So, en route to

(01:35):
delivering the Seltzer waters, I'm faced with a man and
I decide to not go around the man on the sidewalk,
but instead to go in this gap. It's between the
bus station and the wall. It's about two feet like
it's wide enough to fit the electric unicycle one wheel,
et cetera. But it's kind of fancy to go in it.

(01:55):
So I went in the gap, and I'm also holding
a smoothie which I'm sipping loudly. Didn't say that, yeah,
And as I'm exiting the gap, I'm in the final
foot I hit the bus station. I don't know what
I did. I assume that's what I did. Next thing
I know, I'm bleeding like a fair amount and my
wrist really hurts.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Wait and Carlo's with you for that.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Carlo's arriving in thirty minutes to pick me up to
go to Yosemite, which is six hours away.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
And you were in a fight with seltzer Man before this,
but you're still bringing himself.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
It wasn't a fight. I was a disagreement that I
think I didn't handle that well. Is that relevant? Don't
want to get into.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
It, Okay, I'm just giving you It was just a details,
just a detail. So you were giving him Seltzer as
an apology?

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah, basically okay?

Speaker 2 (02:37):
And did you spill your smoothie everywhere?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
I did spill my smoothie, which was seriously like. I
remember seeing it fall everywhere, and then I wanted to
pick up the cup to not litter, and then I
couldn't find it. Somebody probably found it for you. I'mbe
somebody did that for me. But yeah, I was in
like low grade shock, huge adredaline response.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Sorry, was it a glowing a smoothie?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
No?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Did you make it yourself?

Speaker 1 (02:59):
I don't remember. I got it from some random place.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Okay, And you're rich.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
No, I have a member, I have a lunch credit job,
so I forgot piece. I haven't gotten to the price.
Let me thank you, because the price of smoothies is insane.
It's insane. I would never buy.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Are we just gonna like brush past that with my
bear money?

Speaker 1 (03:20):
That's crazy? A smoothie twenty dollars easily? Twenty dollars easily,
you know, because.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
For like a subpar smoothie.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
No, and it's not even that big. Can we at
least get them to be a little bigger. No, it's
like twelve ounces. It's like, honestly, I could chug it,
no problem. You know, I won't even give me. What
is it called freezer brain, That's what it's called. So
it's like, shut up smoothie stores, calm down, bring us
back to five dollars smoothies. That was the America that
we all deserve. Yeah, So anyway, I'm bleeding. I go

(03:49):
back home, I'm bleeding, I'm googling, I'm I'm chat gbting Hello,
do I have a broken wrist? Da? Da da da da.
Finally I call, and now I have fifty minutes left
till Carla did it? Definitely call her? She goes, I
don't know. Well, I'll i'll, you know, we'll feel it
out and feel it out. She picks me up. I'm
like bleeding. I'm like help me. I'm like confus, like

(04:10):
not confused, but just.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Like from home up? What from home?

Speaker 1 (04:14):
From the side of the road from no, no, from
home from home?

Speaker 2 (04:16):
So you got back on, you dropped off and I
was very careful. Yeah, and then youkicycled back home.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Correct. Crazy? Yeah, it was kind of crazy. So I'm
freaking the fuck out. Anyway, she finally.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Said, Carla in times of crisis, great.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
She's super calm, put together, like fucking killing it.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
I could have guessed that.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
So whatever.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
We just seems like she would be really calm and
at times.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
No, she's like I have ban like whatever. She had
band aids, so we like we whatever. So anyway, I
like almost didn't go, and then I was like, I
feel like I can't not go, Like that's crazy. It's
my trip. I planned it and I wilderness explored. I
went in the paths in my head. You know. I
was like, Okay, there's the path where I go, and
that path is scary because I could hurt myself more
because I potentially broke my wrist.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well you've heard this before, you know, if.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
It was broken, I know that is a thing you.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Now all I have to say to you, Danny, No,
that's fair.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
And I concluded, based on my extensive research that it
hurt a lot and it sucks, but it wasn't actually broken.
As long as I didn't hit it again, it would
probably be fine. Yeah. But anyway, long story short. Then
this wonderful person I don't know if I can say
her name, but she was on the No, this is
a different person. I just told her what happened, and
she goes, oh, you don't need a hand. There's going

(05:32):
to be so many hands willing to help you. And
I was like, oh my god, that's the sweetest darn thing.
Why can't you say her name? I don't know if
she's comfortable, she's on the trips. Some people don't like
having their names publicize what's in the name, you know,
I feel like you're really killing the momentum with all
your stories, of all my stories. It's a little brutal. No,

(05:54):
that's okay. I love it. I think it's kind of funny.
But well, you know some people have a name where
it's like, oh if their names well, yeah, a Paull
Meadow Rare, you know what share, Yeah, if it was
share that he would know a share share doesn't want
people to know that we're friends. Chair is low key.
So her name's Archie. Fuck it there. Archie said it, yeah,

(06:15):
great name. Yeah, it's great name. She's a great person,
and it sounds like.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
She said something nice. I don't know why Archie would
have any negli.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
I don't know. Some people are weird about it, Molly,
I'm telling you the truth. You think I'm making this up.
People will be like, I don't want oh, I don't
want that.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
I'm just saying, you went into the wilderness with Archie.
I feel you wouldn't know.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
I don't think I especially want to have a problem
with it. So anyway, we fucking uh we did it.
We went to the woods and we hiked. We hiked far.
We had twenty miles forty one day, no, three days,
sweet forty feet of alleviation, game alleviation, alliv alleviation.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Do you find it's hard to get back to get
used to not elevation after that?

Speaker 1 (06:53):
No? Huh. What I found hard was realizing that capitalism
has a cruel prison and screens are evil. It's all evil,
and like there was a really cool point like after
I was out there for like forty eight hours where
I was like this, this is what we're like more
supposed to do. Be out in the woods, walk around

(07:14):
a lot, be with a group of people, like our
little eat things together, cratch each other. Yeah, we didn't
do that, but I like that for the next trip
we should have a scratch circle or whatever. There wasn't
a lot of mud, but being in the stream. Ooh
that was nice.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Did you poop on your three day trip?

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Yeah? That part I didn't like. What did you do?
Did you do it on the Honestly, I'm not very flexible,
so I can't really get the right form. So I
basically went by a rock and you had to like
hang off the rock.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
It was kind of like a vulnerable Yeah. And then
what did you do after that?

Speaker 1 (07:51):
For cleanup? You have basically these like dry like freeze
dried towels. I don't know how they work, but you
pour it integrate No, no, you got to pack it out.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
You got to bring it home with you your duty.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
No trace. Oh we're going to do a camping episode
for anyone who's on this duty. You just put a
little bit of water on it and it expands like
the size of a like a pretty sizable wipe. Yeah,
and then you've got to put in a bag and
take it out.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
And I was a little bit of a freak about
the rules. I respect the wilderness as you should. Thank you.
That's the only way to do it. But I loved it.
And we're already going back. Wow. Yeah, it was awesome.
It's awesome. Wait when are you going back? I told
you you can't go. I can't remember why.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Because it's soon and I'm working.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
But yeah, my friends helped me. You guys, and I
did it with one hand. I needed help doing everything.
I need help putting together the ten. I couldn't put
together I need help putting on the pack. I couldn't
put together a pack. I need help cooking. I couldn't
hold a bag like I was trying not to grip.
Did you have your own ten? No? I shared it
to I shared a two person out. We had a
four person and one person. Who'd you share it with?

(08:57):
My friend Ali?

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Ali boy or girl? Guy killed a cute cuddle time.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
We didn't cuddle, but he was very sweet and helped
me so much. An absolute jem. Yeah, it was a
great crew.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
It was a great did everyone get along.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Well, everyone got along, no issues, no interpersonal problem. There
wasn't really that much time to have interpersonal problems. That's
another thing I like.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Some people can get it done, make the time.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, but yeah, I loved it out of nature. And
you said he wanted to come, so I hope we
can't really want to come and I can't wait for her,
and I have to say, I'm gonna we'll talk about
it with Carla. But Carlo is actually for me. I
got to give her the MVP of the Trip reward.
She just fucking killed it. She was like helping us
with the navigation, and she was like always figuring stuff

(09:47):
out and solving problems. But the thing that really said
it over the top was her feel good attitude, her
feel good attitude. And then there was like a very
dicey thing you could if you just heard that that
was Molly's cap and my mouth. Well, but she put
her face on the mic here she had something to say.
So there was like this, so you would cross this

(10:08):
like really sketchy, Like my mother would scream at me
if she saw me do this, Like you basically had
to lean. It wasn't that dangerous, but like there's like
you're on basically a ramp, and so if you if
you even vaguely slide to the right, you're falling off
cliff and dying. So you had to kind of like
lean all the way left and then walk carefully, and

(10:29):
you could walk to this like big pond, big pool,
like a sizeable pool, and all these guys are around
the pool. There's guys who are ripped. There's guys with tattoos,
just like a bunch of bros, like fucking scary bros, honestly,
like you know what I mean, five foot nine, ain't
and a half big guys, you know. Anyway, all of

(10:49):
them are just kind of standing. They're putting their feet
in it. They're putting their feet, they're not jumping in
Carla Carla jumps the fucking and I was like, that's
more girl.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah, let's go, Carla, Go Carla.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah, I want to meet her. We already said it.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
Seems like fun. She hasn't said that to you about me.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Okay, so this so now the context is shifting. When
you put it that way, I think it felt really cute.
I don't know, I don't know, she doesn't even know
who I am. I don't know if she knows, Molly,
I'm just a girl. I think it was really likable
though when you were like wanting to meet her and
that was cute. But now that you're like flipping it
and it's about you, it's been about me so anyway.

(11:35):
But yeah, I've gott I'm getting better and uh, I've
learned I'm gonna wear risk guards.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Now scratch on your knee? Is that from that as well?

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah? I mean I don't think any tell you.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
Hurt your knee, what's up until you hurt your knee.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
I mean I've had the same kinds of injuries before,
and risk guards I think are a good reasonable Once
you start putting it, then you oh, it's helm protector.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Like a cup car like you goalie?

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, you could get COVID all right? Where has gas mask?
And I should carry knives? What if I get attacked?

Speaker 2 (12:15):
My friend today was like, I think I'm gonna get
a gun. I said, why, she said, just in case?
I said, what you know?

Speaker 1 (12:24):
The thought I have with a gun is like a
gun can save your life, and that is true, but
also a gun, if you just have a gun, could
also someone else could just take your gun and then
kill you with that.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Gun where I'm like I'll drop it.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, that's and it goes off. That's that I could
also do it, but.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
It was really upsetting to see, like because she was
like going through like, Okay, where could I get one from?

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Can I go to, uh, Nevada?

Speaker 2 (12:49):
But then Nevada it's only for rifles and like big things.
So then you can go to Missouri and get like
a handgun. And this is the crazy part because I
know gun laws are bad, that's like the whole thing
we're all talking about.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
But I feel like the rules forget it. I feel
like it's easier to get a gun than it is
to get Like.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
I literally was like I thought it at leads an anomaly,
like when something like that happens and people are like,
oh my god, like the gun wasn't even registered. Has
that even happened? No, it's protocol. You can if you're
getting a gun in Missouri, you do not need to
register it. Like I thought that was like, Oh, there's
way too many places for things to slip through the cracks, right, No,

(13:29):
it is built into the system. The whole thing is
a crack. Yeah, you're not slipping anywhere They're just like,
take it go. We don't want a record of you
having access to this weapon. Can you imagine it's wild.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
I mean my friend said, it's harder to get it
getting a driver's license and to get a gun.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
And get your real ID, you know stuff. I just
don't think I would feel safe with a gun.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
I think I agree that to me. I mean, my
dad always said this, and I saw I'm on it.
He's like, one of the reasons I don't have a
gun ISAs He's like, I know I would use it.
Like you kill someone, Yeah, kill someone? Like you know,
someone comes up to your door. It's two am. You know,
it's just like a very whatever there. I don't know,
maybe their car broke down outside. It's like a freak thing.
It never happens. You open the door amy a gun

(14:18):
at them and they freak out and looks like they're
plowing a knife. Now you kill the guy, you know, Oh.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Great, oh great? Another one.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
It's I think it's I think a lot of it
is fear. You know, there's hunters. There's legitimate reasons. But
also I was thinking about that too, because you know,
I was out in the woods and we saw the
little deer. The little deer came up and they were there.
That was the thing. They came right up to us,
And I was like, so it might to be I
might to understand. A hunter would be like, yeah, I
got them, I got a deer. I'm like, you killed

(14:46):
a deer. Bro Like, that's like what gross? I think
it's not impressive at all.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's like, oh, it's like you're stealing life.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
You should have to I think you should have to
use a bow. I think that's that's impressive. That's impressive.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, gun is ridiculous, and I think you yeah, go ahead.
My great uncle is a hunter.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Really discussed the deer.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
He's like a hunter like taxidermy and like going on
trips for like months at a time and murdering the
most beautiful animals and bring their corps. And I'm related
to him. Can you believe I'm shocked? Anyway, waste of time.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
I mean, the deers are mother. You got to kill
the deers. They're basically like giant rats. Really they're cute. Yeah,
because deer like there's a whole thing like elk like
they had to have They had to bring wolves back
to Yellowstone to get the olk to get the elk
because if not, they like chill by the water.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
You got to balance it out.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
You gotta balance it out.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yeah, the wolves are essential. I have a book called
the Wolves of Yellowstone. Really could we should read it together.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
We'll talk more about the wolves. Git down and read
it anyway, guys, I love that. We'll sit down, we'll
read it word by words slowly. Thanks for listening. Do
you have any juice for us? Any updates?

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Hmmm, yes, here we go. I've been taking wheel throwing pottery.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Classes one more time. Wheel throwing pottery? What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (16:11):
That scene from Ghost when she's got her legs spread
out around a wheel, a pottery wheel.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
Like spitting. Yeah, yeah, I think I've seen something like that.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
So I'm taking classes and doing that.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
And you're making pots, making bulls, bowls.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Apparently a bowl is easy, a cup is really impressive.
And let me tell you something, I'm not making any cups.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
A cup is very difficult.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
That's I mean, not very difficult, but that's what my
teacher says. Like one time he was like to this
one girl, I mean, yeah, you've got the tallest, the
tallest pieces.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
In the class.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
And I said, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. We
were looking to make our pieces tall.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Okay, I don't like that. That's against five eighth. It
was a little my regime. Yeah, that's highest. The bowl
A bowl is very beautiful. I think I don't know
where he's a tall cup.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
I'm also like, I like a cup that I can
see through. I don't want a pottery cup unless it's
a muk.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Is that what is the logic there? Safety? Yeah, I
thought that's where you're going bugs. Oh bugs? Okay, then yeah,
you took it a weird direction.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, I mean it is weird because something could be
in my glass cup that I can't see. You ever
heard of roofies that's clear? You can't see those?

Speaker 1 (17:22):
You can't see them?

Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, you just put them in.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
That's fair.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
I mean I don't know if it's clear, but I imagine
that that's part of it.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
They could just slip it right in. So have you
made a bowl?

Speaker 2 (17:32):
I've made two bowls.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
So it takes a while to make a bowl.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Not necessarily. If you're good at it, you could just
do it. You want one? Yeah, yeah, I gotta like
I keep working on them, and my goal is to
like to keep doing it. And then I'll be like
the way that you're a bread man, I'll be a
pottery man. So I'll be bringing my friends pottery, including it.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
And now I'm starting a hand.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
Oh and we can actually give people a bread, bread,
bread in a bowl.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Right, that's a great business.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
What that's a business. We could charge that in some
crazy la price, like eighty five dollars for that that's delivered.
It's delivered with a fly man, you know, and made.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
And zero carbon emission because Danny's gonna ride.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
His one of the electric unicycle with well, that is
carbon risk guards. No, it's carbon free. Oh well, I
mean it uses the electric grid. But come on, it's electricity.
I don't know the numbers. All right, guys, we're gonna
do some situations. Thanks for listening. Please repubscribe to my
dot com. Such it a pod two hundred and fifty.
I don't turn seventy to eighty. There's a lot.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Say you gotta have a new number. You're saying now
even saying two hundred fifty.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
Plus having so it's probably three hundred by.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Now, yeah, three hundred plus.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Probly three hundred plus Right now, let's go. It's up
there change the lingo. Our second story of the day
ATA for wanting to stick to plans. But first, folks,
my jokes, it's a I t A for wanting my
GF to pay fifty to fifty ren. My girlfriend of
one point five years and I plan to move in
together when our leases expire. She showed me a breakdown
of her monthly finances, and she can't afford to pay

(19:06):
half the rent for a lot of the apartments we
were interested in. She volunteered that I have the option
of paying more than half the rent because I make
more than she does.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
And we'll say for to volunteer that what's that? It's
nice to volunteer.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
That I make more than she does and she will
save a lot of money by moving out of my
current apartment, which is true. However, her two biggest monthly
expenses are hundreds of dollars set aside for shopping and takeout,
so she could absolutely adjust her budget to afford to
fifty to fifty split. I was raised to believe couples
should be financially independent and equitable, so I would prefer
to consider my paying more than half the rent as

(19:39):
a last resort. But I'm afraid of coming off as
rude for suggesting either we look for cheaper apartments or
she adjusts her budget. I also don't want to set
a president of covering her financially, so I'm considering offering
to pay more than half the rent as long as
she agrees to start paying half as soon as she
can afford to. I'm just not sure to open a
discussion on these options without sending callous and privilege. Am
I even looking at this in the right perspective?

Speaker 2 (20:02):
When a sweet boy okay to ask a question.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Like, yeah, I guess's right he is, he's asking, He's like,
do I even have a right?

Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
You do have a right? Interesting you think this is right?
I didn't say that. I said you have a right? Oh,
you have a right?

Speaker 2 (20:20):
He's like, do I even have a right to have
an opinion?

Speaker 1 (20:23):
The answer is yes, Can I should? I? What do I?

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah? Wow, We're having a lot of these situations like these.
I think it's a messy precedent to be like, when
you can afford it, do it, because guess what, I'm
in that situation with my dad right now and I
can't afford.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
It and he hates it. You It was like.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
He's helped me with my car insurance, and for the
last few years he's been like, okay, like when do
you want to take that off my hands? And I've
been like, ah, I can't afford it yet I can't
afford it, And now I'm like making myself afford it.
But you don't want to leave wiggle room like that

(21:17):
in your romantic relationship too.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
It's weird. That is a poorly stipulated yeah, which is
another way of saying messy. It's a.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Porous boundary. Isn't that a fun I like that, it's
a mesh boundary.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
There's schools in it.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
I think as putting aside, hundreds of dollars for clothes
is interesting monthly expense and also something totally negotiable, Like

(21:58):
I don't think he's out of line for bringing that up. However,
I also think they could look at either cheaper apartments
or if he doesn't want to live in a cheaper apartment,
they don't have to live together if she can't pay
her half.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Interesting, you're not taking any shots at him. I have
a lot of problems with him. You do, Oh yeah,
I mean you're right, he is asking and I think
you're making me soften a little bit. But I'm kind
of like, this idea of what he said doesn't really
fit the bill. I'm like, you're not really even applying,
You're not even sticking to what you said, because what
you said was what this person said was I was

(22:37):
raised to believe couples should be financially independent and equitable equitable.
Do you know what equity is? Because you seem to
be confused this. I'm saying, the writer about what is
equity versus? What is equality? Quality? You know? Yeah, I
could whatever, hundreds of dollars set aside for shopping and
take out. I don't know what is that? Two hundred dollars.

(22:59):
That's a little past progressive. The way he said that,
I'm kind of like, I don't think that that's crazy.
You know, how much more do you make? Oh well,
we're not getting into that. Is it double? Is it
fifty percent more? And I've been talking a lot about
this gap, I mean, say that what's that he didn't say?
Didn't say that? You know, it's the gap between the
fifty like fifty grand a year and one hundred grand
a year, like that chasm.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
That's a that's a paycheck to paycheck versus I get
to go on trips.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Amen. Amen that one hundred thousand.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
That person's getting coffee whenever they want. I'll tell you
one that that's fair. I'm not one hundred thousand. So
why am I getting coffee?

Speaker 1 (23:34):
We'reing coffee too much? Should not be any agree on that.
That's a lot.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
That's what I'm saying. I have no right to be
getting coffee.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Like I make a hundred k I have tunis process.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
I'm not getting it. I'm not drinking plastic.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
They're they're made of aluminum now, and that costs forty
cents a day. I think that's doing reasonable.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
I like me to drink coffee, but it's really I
like the interaction, like going and talking to a person. Well,
so I guess I just need to make relationships with you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
I don't know if Stefano Bee writes, I don't know
if fairness is the right word, but I agree with
the letter writer about splitting fifty to fifty being a
good basis for a healthy relationship when possible or reasonable.
I'm the minority Sally in our household and feel proud
of splitting everything fifty to fifty at the cost, which
I don't mind. Of a few less drinks or dinners
out with friends, I would feel awful in debt doing

(24:21):
things differently. That's fair. I mean, I guess you know
we don't have the gap, but this person says something
I think is far more reasonable. When I was first
contemplating moving in with the romantic partner, I insisted on
our each paying a percentage of the rent based on
our relative incomes. I made twice as much, so I
covered two thirds to his one third, and I had

(24:44):
to convince him to go along. I was also aware
of the fact that he was preparing to go into
a line of work that had the potential for much
greater earnings that I would ever pull in, and I
assured him I'd have no problem. We adjusted the percentages.
So yeah, I mean for me, this is like, I mean, look,
if you're really dead set on dating someone and being
like it's fifty to fifty, I'm like, well, then you

(25:05):
should probably date someone who that makes sense for yea,
which is like somebonoe wh would have a similar income
to or like.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Lower lower your standards of like housing, Like if you
want to go fifty to fifty, yeah, you can't afford
your fifty to fifty, then.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Well, but that feels to me like I don't know,
I guess I think that's what I would say about this.
I'm like, I don't have a huge issue with this standard,
but I'm like, kind of there's just a little bit
of like condescending this here, like rich people condescending where
it's like, I don't know if she should be spending
your money on such things this shopping and this takeout,
and I'm like, pretty normal things to spend money on.

(25:41):
It's not like she has a spending problem. She just
makes a lot of money in than them.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Okay, But I don't think this is so different from
our bonus situation where the husband and wife are going
on a honeymoon.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah, and.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Husband doesn't want to go.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
If that was about, say, though, we don't have But
it's the same thing.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
She's not saving because she spent.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Her you know, there's nothing about saving. All we know
is that she spends a couple hundred bucks on so
presumably that's money that she then doesn't have. Well, that
is money she doesn't have, but that's a meaning it's
the same thing. No, it's not. There's nothing here it's
not the same. There's nothing here that she's not saving
any money.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
She's spending every month on takeout and close. Yes, I'm
going to say I'm doing that too, and I'm not saving, right.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
But that doesn't mean that all people who do that
aren't saving.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
So she's doing that and saving, you think, yes, I
think if that were true, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
I think she doesn't.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Have Well, people have thresholds that they live in.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
I don't think she. But what I'm saying is she's
either living outside of her means. I don't think she's
saving money in addition to what she's spending on, because
then it wouldn't be an issue. Then she could spend
her money and still pay her share of the rent.
But he's a problem with how she's spending because she
doesn't have money.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
I wouldn't I could afford more rat I could, A
lot of people Could's good that we don't want to
because we like to save a certain amount. Ye, So
how do I know that's not her?

Speaker 2 (27:18):
Oh, that would be so messy if she was like
I just don't want to spend that much, but that
I have it, and you should spend that much.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Okay, it's really like, oh, how bad you are with money?
So yeah, Molly, that's.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Totally no, shut up, that's not what that's crazy. I'm
not that stupid.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
No, I did call you stupid.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
I didn't mean it like, oh, you have money, you're
not spending it.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
What I mean is I have to spend all your money.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
That's not what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
You do not spend all your money. That's against the rule.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
I mean, Danny, I'm not that bad with money. What
I mean is that in this situation for her to
be holding out as like, well, I just don't want
to spend mine, so you spend yours. That's what's crazy
to me, not that you have money.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
Because I don't know how much money he makes, but
he makes more than her, and I think it's substantially more, right,
So I'm like, yeah, i'd be like, yeah, that's all
I'm willing to spend on rent. I was in this situation.
I think that's fine.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
You know what, That's not what I'm talking about. What
are you talking And you also just accused me of
being so bad with money? So take it back, because
that's not what I said. I was not saying you
need to spend all the money that you have.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Okay, what are's saying?

Speaker 2 (28:25):
I was saying that if she had available to her
what he is available to him, and she simply was
just like, I just don't want to tap into mine.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Oh that would be shitty if they made the same income.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yeah, yes, of course, yeah, yeah, that's all that happens.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Let's go into what Wory writes. This is a segment,
and I don't know what the segment's called, but the
person replying is Wory Rory. I don't know Carolyn Hacks
is reporting. Why is equitable fifty to fifty A not
a percentage based on income? Your idea of fairness is
suspiciously self serving. Sare way to put it. Plus, your
solution for putting more rent money back in your pocket

(29:02):
comes across as a barely veiled contempt for her spending priorities.
That's what you said, thank you. So when you get
to your financial independence, then I'm a sympathetic audience, especially
if you break up. It's smart to rent a place
of your own so you can afford solo in high
cost areas that can be prohibitive. But still two different
views of fairness. Plus two different money out to us,
plus elevating self interest over mutual care equals a decision

(29:25):
to cohabitate. That sounds direly premature, sounds like in depth,
conbo say that ry. I mean, I think I would
go a little harder. I think these are unreasonable views.
I'm like, dude, like, you want her to pay fifty
to fifty when she doesn't make fifty to fifty, Like,
that's kind of like common sense to me.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
That part fully went over my head.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
I guess so because I was confused about what we
were arguing about. You're crying.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Wait, I miss that detail.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
That sucks.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
What sucks that she doesn't make the same amount and
he's expecting her to put in the same amount.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, that bothers me. There we go. Yeah, I wasn't
picking up on all the teacher. Yeah, I mean it's not. Look,
I think you're allowed to have whatever standard you want.
There's people who, you know, they really view money as
like a very defining thing, and if it's going to
bother you, that's I don't think it's a bad standard.
Doesn't make you a bad person, But if you're going
to be involved with someone like yeah, you have to
actually have equity, not equality. That's obviously how it's going

(30:27):
to work. If you want equality, you're going to have
to date someone who is your financial equal. Like, that's
how that works. Otherwise it's like, oh, you shouldn't have
got yourself of you got Panda expressed.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yesterday equality because the percent like the hit that you
take is not equal.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Well that's but that's what I'm saying. That's right, Okay, Okay,
I'm sorry, Okay, I think we're lined up on this.
I think it sounds like op is asking, and actually
you opened up some grace for that. But yeah, it
does seem a little the.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
Fact that he was like, am I even thinking about
this the right way? It sounds like he's open to
the no no, And so maybe I'm coming fro him
so hard he did ask. Maybe he's just ignorant. Maybe
it is a rich people thing and he just is.
It is a rich people don't understand. Some people just
don't have.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
Well, yeah, because rich people all have probably.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Be like, just save ten percent of your income. I
don't have ten percent of my income to save save,
just do it.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Well, It's like once you make a certain amount of money,
it's like you have fun money. It's like, no, you
don't understand, there is no fund, man, I don't have fun,
no fun. Or it's like, oh, you want me to
have zero fun, that's why you want me to live
life like well, no, part of like our whole fucking
society is structure around the idea that the only way
to have fun is by spending money money, you know, crazy,
So it's it's crazy. So I think you're giving me

(31:45):
a little bit of grace where I am ready to
say ai t A for wanting my do you have
to pay fifty to fifty rent? This person is asking,
So I think I would say no assholes here, but
yeah you are. But if you this is ridiculous, while
where you're proposing is honestly crazy. It's stupid and great
and and you would be the asshole to enforce this.

(32:06):
This is an impossible standard.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
But curiosity is a wonderful us is a wonderful trait.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Well put, thanks for listening, folks. Our second story here
we go at for wanting to stick to plans. I'm
an active traveler. I wake up early, naturally, like to
move and get restless with slow mornings. I'm a good
planner and logistics guy in the group. Traveling and vacationing
with my parents and siblings gets frustrating. While we have

(32:34):
plenty of joint time together at meals and in the
afternoons and evenings, I usually want to do something in
the morning. I'll express my intention to get up and
go do something, we have the logistics to make it happen,
and offer for anyone to join. People do but then
disregard the schedule, which then makes the planned activity impossible
or leaves me waiting around for hours. Example, I'll plan
a hike that gets us back by lunch for my

(32:55):
kids nap. Family member asks to join, then sleeps in,
goes for coffee, takes an hour, already get packed and
as ready at eleven, so we do a lesser option,
and then I have young kids stuck waiting. When I
express annoyance, I get told I need to relax or chill,
and it is implied on being the bad guy by
making others rush. In my mind, though I was clear
with intentions and schedule, did the planning leg work, and

(33:16):
included others who were interested, I get on my terms.
I feel like my time being co opted in plans
is regarded as insensitive, but they don't see it this
way and keep making me out like I'm the only
one at pole.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
Suggestions, new family, new friends, right. I thought this was
kind of like cut and dry, pretty.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Cut and dry. I mean I had to deal a
lot with this because I was like the one who
planned this.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
I literally when you read the title, I was like,
this is so danny.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
That what I'm I the one who needs to chill.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
No, just that, like you evalue keeping plans, Yeah, and
I work harder at it when I have plans with you,
and I think it's a good thing. M I think
it could make me a better person if I applied
it elsewhere. But not everyone puts the pressure on, you know,

(34:09):
with you, I'm like, I don't want to upset him.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Interesting, So you're saying with other friends you feel like
you can not keep plants. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
I have some friends where I'm just like I just
don't want to do it, and they're like that's fine.
But they're like that too, and then like what happens
we don't hang out for a month, Like, I think
your way is smarter, and I like that when I
hang out with you, Like I have to get my
shit together Okay. Anyway, so I just heard the title.
I was like, this is very danny, not that you

(34:40):
need to chill. I don't think you're militant about it
by any means.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah, I'm well, there are times when I do get
a little I mean usually with you, I know, we're flax,
Like we usually push an hour. That's pretty normal for us,
Like today we took our naps or whatever. Yeah, but yeah,
I mean I thought this hike was actually a really
interesting example of kind of this the planning, the pushing,
the we must go, and I thought it actually really
worked out to you know, also toot Carlos horn more here.

(35:05):
It's like that was very much my energy because it's like,
you know, if we don't go this far, then we're
gonna have to make that up the next day. And
so I always try to like fish it out to
the group and be like, what are we trying to
do today? What kind of dat do we want to
have tomorrow? And yeah, it's like this balance, it's like
a democracy. But like there are also times when people like, oh,
they're sitting and they're dawdling, and I'm like, let's go, Like,

(35:25):
let's fucking go, you know, and this group is awesome.
Everyone's all right, let's go, you know. But yeah, I
think there's I've like kind of adjusted, like I do
feel like I love to explore like cities and stuff
or whatever it may be, like wherever I am, like
in other words, unplanned time. But yeah, to me, it

(35:48):
does get into like it's really rude to be like, yeah,
I'm gonna go with you, and then it's like okay,
well eight am, let's go, and it's like oh, I
want to get coffee and it's like, yeah, that's shitty.
Are we going or are we going? Yeah? And I
do reach a point where like, if I was ope,
I'd just be like, listen, I'm not going with you. Yeah,

(36:09):
well I would just say I'm gonna I'm gonna leave
here at seven. So if you're ready to go, then
I can't. I'm so happy to have you. And if
you're not ready to go, I'm gonna go. And no
hard feelings, no hard feelings exactly. I think that's the
best way to do it, where you just go like
that's what that's my plan, that's what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
And we don't really know if from what Op wrote,
if if they are expressing hard feelings when these things happen,
because otherwise it just seems like way too easy and
cut and dry. It's like, no, you didn't do anything wrong,
Like you made plans. You want to stick to the plans.
People around you don't want to stick to the plans.
That seems very almost too easy to be like they're

(36:46):
wrong and you're right right. So I imagine maybe there's
a little bit of especially for the people to be
pushing back is like you need to relax. Yeah, maybe
op has a little chip on their shoulder about it.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
They're like getting resembled instead of being clear and communicating.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Well, yeah, I see that, which is like sometimes we
just have to manage expectations to be like this isn't
the person that I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Invite on these things. Yeah, I'm just gonna do them.
Well yeah, I mean I also think like planning is
good when it's goal oriented. I think that's one of
the reasons I like hiking, because it's like we're doing
this hike, like we can't get back to the fucking car,
so it's like we can there's really no other way
to do this. I mean, I guess we can get
a helicopter backwards and get a shuttle, or we could
get a helicopter, but it's like, really, the best way

(37:28):
to do it is the way we plan to do it,
and that that has a certain like we obviously agree
to that, so that's what we're doing, so let's fucking go.
But like, yeah, it's frustrating because like I don't know,
there's just so many distractions. It's not like I don't
understand how this happens. Like I've done it a million times.
I've lost whole fucking days to this. It's like, oh,
I'm check Instagram reils for an hour. Oh this fucking movie.

(37:51):
You know. It's like the day's gone. Yeah, you just
wasted your fucking Saturday morning. H It's like sad, sad,
you know. And then you're putting out other people like yeah,
I guess I would say, like to all the non
planners out there, and thank you for calling me a planner.
That makes me feel good. But it's like respect the

(38:12):
planner because like they're doing the work. We're doing the
fucking work, and like, yeah, show up and try to
hit the plan, like just try. It's worth it's honestly
worth it. And usually there's here's another one. We're doing
a morning bike ride. You're welcome to come by the way.
It's the same one we did have a bike. You
can run the bike. It's forty four miles, which sounds
really long, but it's flat. It's obviously not that hard. Take.

(38:32):
Where are you biking from the beaches? And are you
going to be like on streets where cars are no? No?

Speaker 2 (38:39):
God, how many biking people there?

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Me like five? Small group? You should come. You won't
leave me anyway? What's that you won't leave me behind? Well,
here's the kicker. We're starting at six, and we wanted
to start at six last time, but then it was
like oh somebody was like, oh, I don't want to
start at six. Well, but we're not just starting at
six to fuck with you, We're starting at six. Yeah
it gets really hot.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
What I meant is, let's say I'm there on time,
but we're biking. Yeah, you will make sure I stay
with the group.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Yeah, okay, if you really go, you're not going to go,
but if you really went, I would absolutely accommodate. This
sounds great, Okay, we'll go. When is it so the Sunday?
So bottom line, I told you. Yeah, I think give
me any notice? What's that you don't give me any notice?

(39:29):
How much notice do you want?

Speaker 2 (39:30):
I need time? Okay, I need to get.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
We'll start getting plants. So let's read some comments hackses advice.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
What No, this just seems too easy. It's like we're
missing something.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Well, yeah, this was just submitted on advice column. I
just thought it was interesting to talk about because you're
saying it's clearly they're not the asshole, right.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
I mean with the information provided.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
Yeah, well, I mean I think you nailed it that
they might just be like turn lightting it slide. Yeahs.
Advice is to recognize these people for who they are.
Spot On. Twelve years ago, we were in Paris with
our college age youngest. We knew he was a late sleeper.
We rose early, went out to a cafe for a walk,
picked up croissants and other good things. On the way
back to our apartment. We'd wake them up at about
eleven for him to enjoy breakfast and for us to
enjoy second breakfast. Then we'd go out and do stuff together.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Second breakfast is really my thing.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
I love it. I love a second In the evening,
we were ready to chill after dinner while he went
out to meet fellow art school friends who were also
in Paris. It worked well for all of us. The
only morning we made him wake early was pre arranged
and agreed by all so we could get into Notre
Dame before it was horribly crowded. I like that. It's
like work around the people. I mean that's also anohing.
I like sometimes on trips if I wake up early,
I like to get stuff for the group. There's like

(40:39):
ways to make it work or like that's another way
to have buy and it's like eyes, I got a donuts,
I got you coffee, Like, let's fucking go. Yeah, you know.
I feel like that's another thing too, Like the whole
waking up early with a group like a lot of energy.
There's a lot of energy that comes kind of for free,
you know.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
In a good way.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah, in a great it's community. It's energizing. It's like, yeah,
you got five hours of sleep, but n I are surrounded
by people on fun.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yeah we're doing it.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
They'll sleep that night. Yeah, it's fine. It's really not
that big of a deal.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Agreed, That's what I did this morning.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
I love it. You're killing it. So yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what else we need to get into there.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
I'm feeling really not very mentally stimulated by this situation.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
For wanting to stick to plans. I think we agree
Mollie is a terrorist today. That's okay. I forgive her
from NA.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
From the words you provided, but I'm questioning you. I
think there's more information that we're not being given.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
I mean, I like what you said. I feel like
Molly today is like she doesn't want to she wants
to like have conversation, like we're hanging out. We're on there, Mollie.
Everyone is the plans. I think Karl wants to hang
out with Yes, she does. Damn it, We're going to
wrap up on this silly one. I thought this was funny.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
I just think she's cool.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
I found out my husband has a secret group chat
where he calls me, quote unquote the warden. I am
thirty half. My husband is thirty two. M we've been
married four years. Wait, how old does she thirty? Last
weekend he left his iPad unlocked and I saw his notification.
Turns out he and three of his closest friends have
a private group chat where they joke about their wives,

(42:18):
except it wasn't funny. My husband called me quote unquote
the warden, screenshots of my text reminding him to pick
up the groceries, comments like quote the warden won't let
me stay out late tonight, Oh my god. He even
jokes about me quote unquote checking his phone. The thing is,
I never once told him he couldn't go out. I
never demanded to see his phone. All those things he
wrote were lies just to look cool in front of

(42:39):
his friends. When I confronted him, he laughed and said,
it's just guy humor and I was being too sensitive.
But I can't stop thinking that my husband would rather
lie about me than just admit to his friends that
we have a normal relationship. Now, I don't know what
hurts more the fact that he called me names or
the fact that he needed to invent a controlling version
of me to keep up his image. Okay, so when
I read this, I think I misread it because I'm like,

(43:02):
you know, I do have a friend who's really funny,
and like, you know, I know his wife and she's
a fucking angel, and he's a really good guy, and
he'll make jokes that are like in this kind of
vein or like jokes like at her expense, and they're
very clearly joked. Yeah, and I think like there's a reason, right,
Like my dad makes like jokes this about my mom
and stuff like it's just like it's not shitty, it's

(43:23):
it's I think it's more about that's what a relationship is.
You got to give something up. Of course you do.
It's a compromise, like the whole Ball and Chain thing
like it.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
But that's what I was gonna say. I think that's
like a funny. It's so sketchy to be doing it
behind her back, like.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
That's not to me quite the issue.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
But go on, because I think like you're saying it's
it's like a funny joke, Like the irony is like,
she's not the ball and Chain, so to say it
in front of her is just like, oh, the old
ball and chain. Like obviously we're joking. But when you
say it with out her there, and it's like, why
wouldn't we assume that you're being serious?

Speaker 1 (44:07):
Well, okay, I think we're gonna line up, But I
don't quite agree with you. I think it's perfectly fine
to be like the warden whatever. That's funny like the
warden won't let me go out because you and your
girl are going to watch a movie that night. Like
that's hilarious, that's like classic guy humor. That's not a problem.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
I hate that where I never want to hate the
guy again.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
I hate it.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
What's that It makes me never want to hang out
with the guy ever again? Well, okay, if someone's gonna
make that joke without me knowing.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
It's a joke, I don't care.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
You wanted to watch a movie with me too, Like, yeah,
why am I the warden all of a sudden.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
Because it's just funny. It's an illusion to the fact
that it's not funny to you. It's up for you.
That's why you're not in the group chat. It's a
funny guy joke because, like I said, it's about this
deeper thing, which is like, to an extent, you let
a relationship control you. Like it's funny. It's true.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
You're choosing it.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yes, you're choosing it, and you're too.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
That man wanted to stay and watch a movie. He
probably asked her plans. Well, yes, but she had plans.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
He said, can You'll have to give something up, Mollie.
That's how relationships are.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, it's not all then what so then is he
ever referring to himself as the warden?

Speaker 1 (45:18):
No, but she's allowed to too. That's funny. If she
called him the warden, that's funny too. That's so funny.
It's true. But here's where I have an issue now.
And I do have an issue with this. I don't
have an issue with the warden. I think that's a funny,
fucking joke. My issue is he is he is pressing
false charges if he said if he said, I'm I'm

(45:40):
staying in with a I'm staying in to watch a
movie and I the warden wants what she wants, that's legal.
But when he starts in on, oh the Warden's checking
my phone, and there's no truth to that.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
No, yeah, I mean no, it seems like he's a child.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
That's fucking liable. You're a born now you're shitting on
your wife. It's not funny.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
Yeah, it's not true, Like it should be self deprecating.
If you're making warden.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Jokes, I think you can make. I think the warden
jokes are I think when you start to say.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
I think those are only funny when you are like
such a sweet partner, and like, obviously you also want
to be there, not of course, Danny, because you're saying
that boys should be able to make those jokes regardless.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Well, I'm assuming they're sweet boys.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
Don't assume that. What makes you assume that from?

Speaker 1 (46:24):
What?

Speaker 2 (46:25):
What evidence would make you think?

Speaker 1 (46:27):
I know some sweet boys some, but you are right,
it is a relatively small percentage.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yeah, what are you talking about? We can't just let
boys say things like what are you talking about? That's
not saying, that's not joke.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
Joke.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Jokes aren't for you.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
That's why it's funny, Molly, because it's like, obviously that's
your fucking white that's your serious ass girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Jokes are for us.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
That's why it's funny.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
You guys have everything, Well, you're allowed to make. Jokes
aren't for you.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
I'm totally for women in their group chats being like
your limp dick. You know, I don't want to see it.
That would hurt my feelings. But like, I mean, honestly,
if I had a limp dick some night, I'd be like, yeah,
I'm I'm liptick. That's fair. I you know, it was real,
it was what it was.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
It feels like high school.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
It's a joke. It's a fucking joke.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
You are being so toxic.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
No, it's only.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
It is toxic because he's.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Not hiding it. It's in a private group chat.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
Sorry, do you want to say that again?

Speaker 1 (47:38):
We're not finding understanding. I just think like I okay,
let me tell you, like a classic Danny Vega joke,
this is just how I am. I think I it
is how I am. I was on this camping trip
and I said this, this has been so fun. You
guys like, I can't wait to do this again with
different people. This is how I am. It's obviously a joke.

(47:59):
It's a joke. I mean, opposite of what I'm saying, right,
I'm saying I love you guys. It's just like what
am I going to be? He goes, shut the fuck up.
It's corny, but it's different.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
That's you, guys, your friends, Joel. It's not your what
your single solitary wife. But that's why who doesn't get
to like no, but like your friend's perspective of her
is essentially painted by you?

Speaker 1 (48:23):
Yes, well no, okay, so we're aligning there, yes, finding
some alignment.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
She doesn't have agency here.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Well that that's where the charges.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
See, I guess the warden thing has been abused and
overused by the wrong people. Okay, so that if you
are going to use it, you have to use it responsibly.
This is not responsible.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
Well okay, but like, can you give me warden? But
then can I say that I will not contest charges
of I think making up lies about the warden? That's
not okay?

Speaker 2 (48:58):
A few questions, Why do you need me to give
you anything? Like why can't you have your opinion and
we don't have to agree.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
Well, I'm trying to get I'm trying to get us
to meet in the middle. I'm trying to move you over.
I'm trying to convince you. I don't want you to
give it to me. I don't know that I'm gonna
move over. Okay, that's okay, you don't have to make.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
I'm going to hold my ground.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Well, it's not about holding your ground.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
Dig my heels in.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
See, that's that's energy that I'm not trying to create.
The energy I'm trying to create is maybe maybe it's
it's that I'm making some valid points and so maybe
we can.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Why don't you come over to my side because I'm
also making valid points true. I think the ball and
chain thing, a huge percentage of the population is not thinking,
oh that rings true because in relationships you compromise. They're thinking,
oh that rings true because women are like this, and
so this man is giving permission for.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
I agree with that. Well, people might see their own
interpretation of it. That's fair.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
We can't be giving sis straight boys just like all
this leeway to use whatever words that they want to
use because it's not for them.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
The warden, Yeah, it's not for him.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
He doesn't get to use it responsibly if it's behind
her back. That's not being done in good faith.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Inventing things that your wife does that she doesn't really do.
Absolutely criminal, not cool and not funny and not a joke.
Not a joke. That is libel.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
And then it makes you wonder, like how how is
he doing that and not using warden in a pejorative way,
like that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
Right, you're moving me now, you're moving me now.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
But what I was more defended, like all of a sudden,
he's liberal with warden, but but okay, otherwise.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
You got me. I was more saying, generally speaking, the
word generally okay, that's fair. Generally speaking, the Warden joke
did make me laugh in a particular context, used by
in a particular way, in a particular way as an
allusion to this thing, to the nature of the thing.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
But it's dangerous when these boys are doing it. What's
really funny is for the girls to take on Warden
ball and chain and for us to start throwing that
at you guys to be like, ah, the old ball
and chain. He's he's making me. That's so fucking funny.
That's what I'm saying, Danny, is that's playing with the
form this man.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
That's funny. That's funny. It's funnier because it's more fresh
to my ears. Yeah, women never do make that joke.
What women don't make that joke?

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Yeah, and it's way funny.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
It's misogynistic.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
It's incredibly misogynistic, which is why saying it like in
a secret, private group chat of all these boys is
only damaging.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
You got me the world, You owned me owned Amen.
Top comment ginger Libra. He doesn't respect you, does he
even like you? I mean, I think the fact that
he's actively libeling her is ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Like, I think it's crazy, Danny that you would even
for a second like he's using it as a joke.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
It made me laugh, and that biased me. But you're right,
he wasn't using it as a joke. He was using
it monstrously. Yeah, because he was lying the warden will
let me stay out tonight and then jokes about me
checking his phone. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
And by the way, my friends fucking suck too. I
wonder what they're saying that if he joked.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
That like she's you know, she's she's taking one of
my kidneys out, that's a joke, because that's so ridiculous.
Yeah and false. Yeah, you're right, it's not a joke.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
It's it's like, what's so imagine using ball and chain,
not ironically, that's so sad.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
I mean, you got me, You got me good on
this one. So sad you rolled me on this skunked, skunked.
I use this out cooked, Yes, I uses that work.
I'm just some dude who's not even married. But if
my gf were to look through my child's with friends,
she'd only see how much I love her. I can't
imagine why I woul drag her down to get some
laughs from my friends. Like friends, My friends are better

(52:55):
people than that too. Honestly, these posts make me so
sad Op deserves better.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
These are garbage men, And I don't mean that as
gentlemen who help us clean up our neighborhoods. I mean
that these men are trash.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
You're going a little a little hard. No, I'm on
your wavelength.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
You guys don't have anything else to joke about. Can
I tell you something? Let me tell you something.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
I'm listening.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
I'm trying to decide if I want to say it's
kind of personal, It's not that personal. I'm gonna say it.
I had a sensitive thing happened long ago with one
of my parents and we worked it out, and then

(53:43):
my it sounds so much worse if I'm not telling
you what it is. No, And so in the past
I had been expecting like quality time with my dad
and then girlfriend is there and that has like rubbed
me the wrong way. But we've like talked about that

(54:06):
before and worked through it. And then he was coming
to visit me, and I was talking about it with
my girlfriend at the time and my brother who still
is currently my brother, and my brother was like, do
you want to check and like make sure that he's

(54:28):
just coming by himself and I was like no, like
I think that's that would almost be passive aggressive, and
me being like, are you going to do that thing again?
Because we talked about it, like I think it would
be so crazy for him to show up and unannounced
like that, Like that would be a whole other thing.
And my brother was kind of like yeah, but wouldn't

(54:49):
you want to get ahead of that? And I was like,
I don't think I need to get ahead of it.
I think I can have a little more faith in
my dad, which was correct. However, like that that was
like a an emotional thing that happened to me when
it happened. And then this girlfriend who's now my ex
girlfriend at one point like made some joke was like.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
Oh did your dad like blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
And I was like can you not joke about that?
And She's like what, it's fun, It's just a joke.
And I'm like, use anything else, like get other material?
Why is your material like my heartache with like my
divorce dad, Like that's so ridiculous. And here's the saying.
You guys can't find any fucking else thing else to

(55:37):
laugh about. You gotta be like, oh, the old ball
and the warden get a personality bitch, so we broke up.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
I don't think it's exactly the same, but I do
agree with you. It's like, that was crazy, and I've
had a friend do that to me.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
It's like, it's not like, oh, just take a joke,
like joke about something else. What are you talking about?
It's not like I can't.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Take a joke.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
It's like, why is that your goat? There's so much
other material right.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
In that case. It's being said to you and at you,
and it's like it's kind of terrorizing. Yeah, that's I
call that, you know, an unrifferable topic, which is super reasonable.
Everyone's allowed to have them. To me, one of the
reasons this is funny is because it is like, it's
kind of wrong. You know it's wrong. It's funny, but
it's also like, you are right. I'm biased.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
They're not doing it with a wink.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
I'm biased. That's what's dangerous. I'm biased because I have
a very sweet friend who I know is an incredibly
like loving, good person, and he makes jokes that are
not not even like this, they're they're in this. There
are jokes that I don't think that she would love
to hear. Probably that's really it. And that's part of
why it's kind of funny because it's like, why are

(56:47):
you saying that, because it's like, but you're right, is
said with the wink, and it's said in a very
specific context. It's said in a context where it's like,
I am so certain that it is a joke. It
doesn't even enter my mind that it be a joke.
That's what it wiggle room to be abusing word. Nonetheless,
you did a lot of damage here, Molly. I'm very impressed. Me.
I do think that what I think you swayed me,

(57:11):
and I think it is a reasonable policy unriffable topic
area roasting your spouse. It's like, yeah, if she finds that,
she's obviously going to take it super hard. I mean,
that's bizarre. And in general I found that to be
true and not to gender it up, but I just
have found it to be true. Like, you know, if
you want to roast roast the boys?

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Yeah, Also, like how does that feel good? How is
it like you're texting your boys like that and then
you put your phone down. Guess who's in the room
with you? You're just gonna act like that?

Speaker 1 (57:42):
Didn't have like what, Yeah, I think I think you
got me on this. Yeah, I think it's an unriffable
topic area. Yeah, you you got to act as if
she's going to see everything you do. I don't know
about that.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
It's just like what are your intentions? But you gotta
like that even makes it that is giving warden Like.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
No, it's not. It's a choice that you make because
it's like, yeah, that's obviously going to be sensitive. It's
going to trigger trust issues also, Like I don't I
don't know how you're wired, but like some girls are
really really jealous, and you know, that's just like something
you gotta deal with. I understand it. It's like, you know,
there it can cross the line where it's like you
can be like, oh, it's unhealthy jewels or whatever, but
it's like, yeah, in general, it's like you don't really

(58:30):
want to fuck with your chick, Like that's just I
think that's kind of fair, And I do think that.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
I just think this isn't a fair, Like they're not
putting themselves in a position where she gets to then
roast them back.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
It's just like cowardly. Yeah, I think it's inappropriate. You're right,
it's inappropriate. I wouldn't want these jokes flowing around in
my head. Why am I making these jokes?

Speaker 2 (58:51):
And what you're hanging?

Speaker 1 (58:54):
It's too much, it's too much where you're loyal. I
like to be transparent, Like I said, I don't want
to be run in any books. Everyone, everyone, remember what.
I want people to look at my book exactly. I
want to be like, here's the books. You want to
look at the phone and look at the phone.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
Yeah, my side of the street clean exactly.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
It's just like I don't want to bother Yeah, what
weirdo friends.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
It's like the only thing they can laugh about is
like your wife.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
Is a public apology for laughing at the warden jokes.
The warden joke is not a classic jokes except and
utilized by the most clean hands, the best man.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
Or when women utilize when women use it, that's pretty funny.
That's pretty fun that's awesome. And you know why, it's
because of men like this.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
That's true. He's a toxic motherfucker and he was committing
libel and he's a fun thing.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
About his little fucking friends. What's the word I'm thinking of, what's.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
The word for? Like little pieces of poop.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
That dangle Dingleberry, dingle beer Dingleberry friends.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Yeah, I t a. I found out my husband has
a secret group chat where he causing the ward end.
I think Molly has set the record straight. NTA, it's NTA,
and I think it's nuclear he is.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
Yeah, I was very I even come back.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
From this made me laugh, and that biased me, and
that was not okay. I don't want to hang out
with that man. He's a monster. If I'm her, making
up lies about her is so fucking crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
And then it's like, well, what's the motivation behind warden?
It's obvious the fact that you Danny were able to
compartmentalize and be like like no, but he's doing that
like with a nod and a wink and like he
really understands comedy.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
I'm a sucker for a good joke.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
It's not a good joke, guilty jokes. It matters whose
mouth they come out of in a tremendous way.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
There's a phrase people say, it's not slay period. That's
what it is. Period. That's what I've been trying to say.
I've been saying a man. Mollie, thanks for joining me today.
You are my favorite little warden that we have on
the podcast. Yeah, I'll take that. I am a warden much.
You're scary guys. Thanks for listening, much love, and we'll

(01:01:02):
see you next time. Bye.