May 12, 2025 • 34 mins
A heartfelt exploration of anxiety takes center stage in this episode of Aktivate, featuring a poignant conversation between KB and her son, Asher.
Asher opens up about his experiences with anxiety, revealing its long-standing presence in his life and the various ways it has manifested, particularly during his formative years in school.
The conversation delves into the strategies that have been employed to support Asher in managing his anxiety, encompassing a wide range of approaches from counseling to practical coping mechanisms. This discussion is enriched by Asher's candid reflections on the effectiveness of these methods, highlighting the importance of understanding and patience from caregivers. KB’s insights as a mother underscore the significance of open communication and the need for a supportive environment in navigating mental health challenges.
Asher shares how a recent change in his educational setting has positively impacted his well-being, allowing him to thrive in an atmosphere that fosters kindness and understanding. This transition is framed as a turning point in his journey, emphasizing the role of faith and family support in overcoming anxiety.
Reach out to KB on Instagram and share your thoughts on this episode and your experience with anxiety.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Island Boy J Music.
Hello, friends.
Welcome to Activate, a podcastconsisting of purposeful conversations
aimed at encouraging listenersto embrace both the beauty and chaos
of life.
I'm KB and I can't wait toshare valuable insights on health,
(00:23):
fitness, nutrition, aging,faith, family, and everything in
between to help you level upand activate your life.
I'm a former network marketinghater turned top leader in my industry.
I'm a certified life andnutrition coach, helping women to
break the same chains thatonce kept me stuck.
I'm so happy you're here.
Let's do this.
(00:45):
Hello, friends.
Happy Monday.
How are we?
I hope that you're great.
I am coming at you.
Today is Wednesday.
It is deadline day.
And I had such a special guestplace planned today.
We were recording thisafternoon and all was going well
until the technicaldifficulties happened.
(01:06):
And when I tell you I am sofrustrated today, I almost feel like
I shouldn't be coming to youtoday with this energy because it
is negative energy.
I just went on a little ragewalk outside to try to walk out some
of my frustrations.
I have shared with you thatthere's a new iteration of Activate
(01:27):
that is coming, and I'm soexcited to share it with you.
And I absolutely see this asSatan doing his work to keep this
all from happening.
The guest I had today wasgoing to share her powerful, powerful
testimony.
And that is the whole goal of,well, of honestly my life, but of
(01:49):
having this platform and thechanges I'm about to make is to glorify
God and get more guests sothat we can make the show bigger,
so that more people arelistening and more people ultimately
can be saved.
And obviously that is a hugecalling on my life.
And Satan is not for me inthis aspect.
And so he's going to work hardto make this difficult for me.
(02:11):
I actually woke up thismorning saying, actually, I woke
up with anxiety about my guest.
And I kept telling myself,like, there's no reason to be anxious.
You know, you're prepared.
She's wonderful.
And I will tell you, I'vealways had this feeling when I have
a guest, like, I'm not good enough.
I'm going to mess it up.
Something's going to go wrong.
And today it feels likeeverything went wrong.
(02:33):
And it just, it confirms thosefears in me that I'm not good enough.
I can't do this.
I shouldn't be doing this.
But I know that this is theenemy talking and this is not what
God wants.
And he.
God has showed me very clearlywhat he wants from me.
And I will Be darned if I letSatan win in this.
So I come hell or high water,today we get a podcast recording.
(02:58):
And so I've called in the big guns.
Probably the most specialguest, not probably the most special
guest I have ever and willever have on this podcast.
And it is the sweetest boy inall the land.
Asher Champ Ballard, welcometo the show.
Hello.
Hi, buddy.
How are you?
Good, good.
So, because we're havingtechnical difficulties, we're literally
(03:20):
sitting almost on top of eachother, sharing a microphone so that
we can both be seen and heard, right?
Yep.
So he's not the most excited,which I completely understand.
If I was a 12 year old boy, Ibet I wouldn't want to be on my mom's
podcast either.
But because like I said, he isthe sweetest boy, he has agreed to
(03:42):
oblige me in this.
We.
We actually had been talkingabout doing a podcast together, but
maybe it wasn't going to be today.
Right, right.
So we had been planning, butwe weren't like fully ready, would
you say?
Yep.
Do you feel like there'ssomething to be said about doing
things before you're ready?
Wait.
(04:02):
Okay.
Nothing.
Sometimes it's important tonot wait until you're ready to do
things and to just go aheadand do them if you feel like it's
something that can help someone.
Okay.
I agree.
Okay.
So having said that, Asher.
So.
Well, first of all, yesterday,when this recording will come out,
yesterday will have beenMother's Day.
So it's very special to methat you're here because everyone
(04:26):
on this podcast knows a lotabout you.
Because, of course, you'rejust my pride and joy and I love
you so much.
And I.
I talk about you a lot becauseI'm so proud of you and.
And we've been through a lot together.
I feel like in our.
In your life, you and I have.
You and I have been through alot, wouldn't you say?
I would agree.
Yeah.
(04:47):
So I think today, even thoughit's hard, it's not an easy thing
for anyone to talk about, butwe're going to talk a little bit
about the.
Your struggle that you've hadwith anxiety.
Okay.
Okay.
So, man, a few words here.
I see.
What?
Yeah.
Um, where do you have a.
Like a first memory of feeling anxious?
(05:10):
It kind of feels like it wasjust always there.
Interesting.
Remember?
So it's like you can't evenremember a time before you had anxiety.
Yeah.
It feels like it's been in youyour whole life.
For me, I can, if I had toThink back, I would say when I first
noticed it at least was whenwe started sending you to preschool.
(05:31):
And I think that was like,separation anxiety is where it started
because you were so used tobeing with me all the time no matter
what, and then it was all of asudden like I.
Your safe person was then,like, dropping you off at a place
with strangers almost.
Yeah.
So it makes a lot of sensethat you felt that way, but then
it just didn't get better.
(05:53):
Right.
So tell me how that kind ofprogressed into going to, like, big
school.
I think the longer it went on,the longer we, like, we were definitely
trying to do things that wouldhelp, but we didn't really find anything
that, like, worked really andhelped me feel better.
(06:14):
Right.
So let's talk about some ofthe tools that we did try.
So the first thing I canremember, like, well, maybe not the
first thing, but one of thethings I remember we did was took
you to a counselor, Ms.
Kami.
And do you remember thingsthat she.
Because it did seem like itwas helping.
It did.
And some of that made mewonder, like, is this actually helping
(06:37):
or does he just like this somuch because he gets to get out of
school for it every single week?
Well, I feel like for a whileafter it did help, like, I did do
a little bit better at school.
I also definitely did likegetting out of school for doing something
that I actually enjoyed.
(06:57):
Definite perk.
So that was nice.
And I got food after everytime, so that was just another bonus.
You're.
I'm a mom that spoils her.
Or bribes maybe is the wordfor children.
I would agree.
Okay, so can you remember anyof the tools that Ms.
Kami taught you?
And what age would you saythis was?
Would you say this was?
(07:18):
Was this second grade?
This was first.
First grade.
Okay.
Okay.
So as a first grader, whatwere some things that were helpful?
Well, the main thing I noticedshe did was like, slowly started
in the first few, like, sessions.
(07:38):
I guess you could say you werein there about, you know, for first
time, maybe the entire time,then maybe half.
And then it, you know, keptdecreasing until it was just me and
her for about an hour.
That's one thing I noticed.
And I think that kind ofhelped just me getting confidence
that I can do something on my own.
(08:01):
That is one thing that did work.
I know there's a lot of otherthings, like stress balls.
They're like little squishyballs that you like, kind of squeeze
when you're feeling anxious.
Yeah, that didn't really help, right?
Yeah.
Sensory stickers, things like that.
Those things didn't work.
No.
No.
(08:21):
Okay.
So that's actually.
I love that.
And that's something I didn't realize.
So showing you by me kind ofbeing there and then kind of coming
in less and less and you justbuilding that confidence in yourself.
Like, look, I'm doing this alone.
She's not in here, and I'm okay.
Yeah.
Even if I didn't exact.
I didn't realize it, butlooking back.
Yeah, I can definitely tell.
(08:42):
That's interesting.
I love that.
So I tried to write a littlelist of, like, things that we have
always tried to do to help you.
And this is, like, in noparticular order, but we always tried
to make sure you got goodsleep because we know when you would
wake up tired, that that would.
Yeah.
Even worse.
Right.
We.
We started you drinking happy juice.
(09:04):
Yeah.
Right.
And do you.
Tell me your honest feeling?
Do you think happy juice.
There's something specialabout happy juice, or do you think
that it's just.
It says it's supposed to behappy juice, and so it makes you
feel like you're doing something.
I definitely think most of itwas just the feeling that this is
helping me.
Right.
(09:24):
And that was definitely.
I mean, that was helpful.
And also it tastes reallygood, so I enjoyed that part.
Yeah.
But it might have helped alittle, but not really.
Mostly placebo effect.
You know what that is?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Mostly just me thinking.
Right.
I think that a lot of thingsmight have been placebo things in
that, like, we're telling you,okay, this is supposed to help.
(09:48):
So do this.
And then it's like, okay, Ihave a tool, like, something to try.
Yeah.
Well, a lot of those.
I feel like as soon, like,right away, it seemed like it was
really helping.
Yeah.
But then, like, let's saywe're doing one on the way to school
or something.
But then once I actually gotthere, it all kind of just went away.
(10:09):
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
But so I think you and Italked about this last night, and
I think it was just.
It felt good to know we weretrying something.
Yeah.
Even when it didn't ultimately help.
So we tried calming oils.
I know you would put, like, alavender or a calming oil, like,
roller ball thing in your.
(10:29):
In your desk or in your school bag.
We did worship music on theway to school.
Tell me about that.
That didn't help.
Right.
Because why.
Because what does worshipmusic tend to do sometimes?
Oh.
Makes me, like, sad.
It makes kind of a little sad.
It does, yeah.
(10:50):
Yeah.
We.
We must not have had the mostupbeat worship songs.
No, we did not.
So that did not work.
Or it was songs that you liked.
Yeah.
So.
Oh.
So that it almost, like, makeyou think of me and how you're leaving
me.
Or also just.
Oh.
Or you just didn't like the song.
That was my.
That was what I was thinkingwhen I said that.
(11:10):
Yeah.
Okay, My bad.
All right.
We tried different books aboutseparation anxiety and feeling anx.
We ended up in therapy againfrom home.
And was that at all helpful?
I think.
I think so.
I don't think it was asolution, though.
(11:31):
I think it made me feel alittle bit better just talking about
it, I guess.
Right.
But I don't really think itfixed any problems.
Okay, that's good to know.
We did like, breathing.
Like, deep breathing techniques.
We put.
I put box or notes in your lunchbox.
(11:52):
Okay.
You had a watch that allowedyou to.
Yes.
Stay connected to me.
So tell me about that.
Very helpful.
Just knowing at any point I could.
No matter.
Even, you know, no matter whatI could, I still had a way to talk
to you.
You had access to me when youneeded me.
Yep.
Yeah, I think that was a bigdeal too.
(12:14):
Let's see.
Okay, tell me about thepicture in the folder.
So someone told us.
Told me to put a pict.
Picture of me and you in yourfolder or in your bag.
And tell me about that.
That was torture, honestly.
Because I just got reminded of sadness.
And then every time you lookedin your folder.
Exactly.
Okay, that did not help.
(12:35):
Okay.
Torture.
Okay, got it.
How about people in yourschool like Ms.
McGee and Ms.
H?
They were very helpful,especially honestly, Ms.
H.
Because I was able to take alittle break.
Just get.
So kind of explain that.
So she was someone who workedat your school.
(12:57):
She wasn't your teacher, but she.
She was a carpool person.
So every morning she would getyou out of the car.
And so you two just formedthis special relationship, and she
had an understanding of your feelings.
She would share with us that,like her.
Her son also struggled withthese things.
So.
So she understood you from thebeginning with.
Which obviously made you feelsafe with her.
(13:18):
Yeah.
And then she gave you a spaceto come to if you were struggling.
And so you could, you know,leave your classroom and go talk
to her if you were feelingteary or just really, really sad.
And she would give you.
What was the.
The thing that you said thatshe gave you?
Oh, time.
Just like a minute to kinda.
(13:39):
Right.
Relax, reset, and then go backto class feeling better.
That I just had some time to,like, just think Just have a minute.
Like.
Yeah, just take a break.
When we were talking aboutthis, too, you mentioned that time,
like, a lot of the anxietyrevolves around the issue of too
(14:01):
much time or not enough time.
Not enough time.
Right.
So explain that.
Well, one of the things that Inoticed is on the way to school,
let's say that was one of theworst times because, you know, just
every second we were justgetting a little anticipation.
Yeah.
Just constantly like that.
And the reason that was sohard, because I was getting less
(14:21):
and less, like, time or eventime was running out.
Yeah.
When I wake up in the morning,that even just felt like.
And honestly, the way you wokeup so early was also an anxiety response,
because a normal kid wakes up,like, 10 minutes before they gotta
roll out the door.
Right.
But you wanted to be up, like,you would want to be up, like, two
hours before you had to leavefor school.
(14:43):
Yep.
Because it gave you more time.
Right.
And so then time became anissue when you got to school because
that was too much.
Too much time.
So it was always kind of not enough.
Right around time.
Time or kind of separation or.
Honestly, the separation isthe same thing.
Because it's time away from me.
(15:03):
Yeah.
Or because honestly.
So your.
The anxiety would show up towhen Mommy and Daddy were gonna travel
that as well.
Right.
And so that was really astruggle for you.
Yeah, Especially if I hadschool during that time.
That was, that was roughbecause it was hard enough to get
through school anyway.
(15:24):
But then without one of usbeing here, it was.
Yeah.
Torture again.
Just torture.
Okay, so we basically, we'vebeen torturing Asher since 2012.
Actually never left you for,like, three and a half years.
So let's see.
I'm trying to see what else.
So we talked about time,school, sports.
Why don't you talk about alittle bit about, like, organized.
(15:45):
Yeah, that was the fear of,like, pressure.
Kind of like having the fearof messing up or something like that
was just overwhelming.
Yeah.
And there are coaches.
Well, kind of like coaches bynature are going to be like, yelling,
especially in a game like basketball.
Right.
(16:05):
Yeah.
They're yelling.
So you having never beenyelled at in your entire life.
Yep.
Because you came out sweet andprecious and stayed that way.
So I'm sure I can only imaginewhat it felt like to all of a sudden
be, like, thrust into asituation where you're getting yelled
at.
Yeah.
(16:25):
And you would start to justpanic, like, days before a game.
Yeah.
And practice wasn't quite asbad because there was not such pressure.
I, I, I almost enjoyed it.
Enjoyed that, like, that wasfun because we just got to like,
it wasn't important.
Like, it.
Yeah.
It was just how we do.
(16:46):
Yeah.
And we tried to impress uponyou that, look, the game is just.
It's just a game.
It's not that important.
But honestly, when you're in aroom, a gymnasium like that, it's
just a whole bunch of peoplemaking you feel like this is like
the most important thing inthe world and don't let us down.
Yeah.
Right.
So that also just becamesomething that you would just ruminate
(17:07):
on.
And I would say, like, don'tpre worry and don't like, don't ruin
today worrying about somethingthat's going to happen tomorrow.
And you just couldn't getyourself out of the spiral.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, that's hard.
So if you had to explain,like, what does anxiety feel like
to you?
What.
How would you explain that to somebody?
(17:29):
To me especially, I have another.
This isn't so much anxiety.
Just something I don't like to do.
Going places, like.
Yeah.
Literally anywhere.
It doesn't have to go anywhere.
But to me, like, if I had to,let's say it's like noon, 12 o' clock,
(17:51):
you know, middle of the day.
But we were going to dinner atlike five or something.
Okay.
It would feel like I couldn't,like I had nothing.
You couldn't enjoy any part ofthat day.
I couldn't enjoy any part ofthat day because I had that coming
up.
And that kind of just feelslike a weight on my chest of where
(18:13):
I.
I just have to think aboutthat dread.
Yep.
And a heaviness.
Some panic in not.
Maybe not in having to leavethe house, but like panic.
Definitely.
And like there was abasketball game tonight.
Yeah.
Or you had school tomorrow.
Like you would hate if I said,you know, you got school tomorrow.
(18:34):
Oh, yeah.
That.
Yeah.
That was like, not allowed forme to speak.
Do not speak of this.
Yeah, that was.
That was rough.
Don't remind you of.
It's like you already knew,but just bringing it up would just
ruin your mood and give youmuch more anxiety.
And then it was just so sadtoo, because.
(18:55):
Tell me about this.
So a lot of times when youwere feeling really anxious or when
I was about to drop you off atschool or when you were at school,
the last thing you would wantto do is cry.
Yeah.
And it was like your bodybetrayed you because you couldn't
help those tears from coming.
Yeah.
And then I didn't want to gowalk in school, like.
(19:16):
Right.
Just make me feel even worse.
Right.
That was another.
Yeah.
Like the fear of fear.
Right.
And then you just, you'reworrying your friends were going
to see you crying and have toexplain yourself to another person
or like, I'm sure that didfeel awful.
And believe me, as your mom,it felt so awful dropping you off
(19:37):
there every day.
Absolutely horrible.
I can't tell you how manytimes I was at the gym just like,
just so.
Just kind of defeated becauseby the time I would get you to school
and get you out the door, itwas just, it was just like both of
our hearts were broken.
Yeah.
That was so, so difficult.
(19:57):
So other than what weultimately did, because we'll talk
about that.
Yeah.
Do you what things?
Like, if you had to name twoof the top things, what were the
things that helped the most?
The having watch, phone and backpack.
Yep.
Any of those things helped a lot.
(20:17):
Yep.
So like, you.
If you were, you know, reallylike freaking out in school and you
just needed to like send aquick text from the bathroom or something
or say like, what's going on?
Anything.
Right.
That just knowing, not evendoing it, just knowing that you can
just made.
Me feel so much better.
(20:38):
You didn't even have to usethe phone.
You just needed to know it was there.
Exactly.
Right, Right.
And then you did say a few.
But like, what are things thatjust are not helpful?
Yeah.
The ones like stress ball,sensory stickers.
Think things that just werenot helpful.
(21:04):
Like, this is tricky.
Yeah.
Because I did list a few thatdid not help.
Really.
Right.
Maybe, like.
That'S okay.
I mean, we talked about, wetalked about it.
So honestly, nothing washelpful except for maybe the few
(21:24):
things that you just said.
But the only thing is that Iwould say is that it did help to
know we were trying something,even if ultimately whatever that
thing was wasn't helpful.
Yeah.
So that's kind of what I wouldsay about that.
Let's see what can, if I hadto ask you or if I asked you, what
(21:45):
did you need from me the mostin the midst of these feelings of
anxiety?
Just like, honestly, one thingis it was not possible to do every
day, but one thing that wedid, you know, do a few, like a time
or two.
If I, like I remember thelatest time when you were going to
(22:11):
tenant Nashville or somewhere.
Okay.
This was this year.
Yeah.
Well, I guess 2024.
Yep.
But this school year and Ijust got dropped off at like about
10:00.
Yeah.
That just made me feel so much better.
Just getting like when yousaid, hey, you can, we can.
(22:33):
Right.
Because so what you're sayingis you knew I was leaving.
That was really hard for you.
And it was on a school day,and so I said, look, let's spend
this the morning together, andI'll drop you off at the latest possible
time.
Yeah.
If you remember correctly, Isat in the airport that whole day
and then never ended upgetting to Nashville.
Yeah, yeah, I remember that.
But, yes, that's true.
(22:54):
So that was one good thing,was that I offered you back as much
time as I could.
Really just come.
Come out to time.
But then what about just,like, understanding?
Oh, yeah, Just like.
Letting.
Hearing my thoughts.
That was definitely a big helpin just, like, agreeing with them.
(23:15):
Right.
Not trying to, like, talk youout of them or tell you why they're
wrong, but just being like, I understand.
Exactly.
Yep.
That was another thing thatwas very helpful.
Right.
And you know, you're theperfect kid for me because I do understand
God.
God knew that, you know, thathe's like, she can understand him
because she's felt this too.
So that's kind of anotherinteresting thing that we've not
(23:37):
talked about.
But Daddy has neverexperienced anxiety, so he doesn't
fully understand where you'recoming from.
He could.
He could be sad that you werefeeling that way, but he didn't have
an understanding of what itfelt like.
So it made it a little harderfor you to kind of get your point
across to Daddy.
Yeah.
Would you say.
(23:58):
Yeah, I agree.
And did that feel a little frustrating?
Sometimes.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
He doesn't listen to my podcasts.
I get.
Yeah, but.
Not.
Well, honestly, I wouldusually talk to you because I knew
you did understand.
It's like, if you had aquestion about fishing, you wouldn't
(24:20):
ask me.
No.
Right.
Like, he would go to Daddy.
I was just the one who could.
I was the one for this job.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
So what would you say to.
You can pick either anotherkid or a parent who.
A kid with anxiety or a parentwho has a child that struggles with
anxiety.
(24:40):
Do you have any?
I guess some of those weregood tips.
But what about.
What about a kid your age oryounger who just feels the same way
that you did?
What would you say?
Well, honestly, the biggesthelp was, like, going to a different
school.
Well, right, okay.
So we haven't gotten to thatyet, so.
(25:01):
Yeah.
Okay.
So ultimately, what happenedis that God allowed my car accident
and impending heart surgery tomake us finally make a move as a
family.
When we saw that you justabsolutely were not thriving.
Like, you just weren't okay at some.
Point, it just wasn't theright school at this point.
(25:22):
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
And just because something isright for somebody or just because
a school could be absolutely awonderful place with wonderful people
and it doesn't mean that it'sright for every kid.
Yeah.
And so we found Valor Onlineschool and that really has changed
everything.
(25:42):
Sometimes I say to you, like,Ashley, you have school tomorrow.
And you're like, yeah, I know.
Like, thank God.
Right?
Like, I'm so glad that I getto go to school tomorrow because
you truly love it.
Would you say?
I would agree.
I'm definitely not.
Like, if the only thing that Iwould not like about the week, not
(26:04):
even dealing with school, isthat my friends had school and they
were not available to playvideo games or another one, is I
would have to go up to my roomtwo hours earlier.
But the actual school wise, Iwas not dreading it.
(26:25):
I was not like worried aboutit at, in the slightest.
Right.
And everyone there is so kind.
There's no pressure.
Everyone.
If you have an issue, theyjust help you through the issue.
The classes are smaller, soit's less students to one teacher.
You can.
Yeah, obviously it's, it'sBible based.
Maybe that's not obvious, butit's a Bible based school and we
(26:45):
love that about it.
That's a really importantthing for me, which is why I had
you in a Christian school tostart with, is because I wanted you
to have a foundation of, of God.
So tell me, how has God comeinto play in this issue of anxiety?
Well, possibly one of thebiggest helps definitely, like asking
(27:10):
God to take away my worry, myworry or my anxiety about something.
Yep.
If I'm worried or like aboutschool the next day, let's say.
Well, not now, I guess.
Yeah.
But like before, before, if Iwas worried about something coming
up, I just asked, lord, pleasetake away my fear about whatever
(27:33):
it may be.
So that was definitely one ofthe biggest helps.
And do you have any Bibleverses that you love that have helped
you through this type of thing?
Well, I guess Philippians4:13, I can do all things through
Christ who strengthens me.
Because that is kind of likeone that feels like it's similar
(27:55):
to.
Well, it, it's okay.
It makes me like, it'sactually kind of.
It makes sense, you know, like it.
What it's saying is really,you literally.
Can do it because I'm heregiving you the power to do it.
Right.
And you can't.
You're not gonna argue with God.
(28:16):
He said it.
Right.
Well, that is amazing.
So Ultimately, what I hear yousaying is that you're in a really
good place now.
So we did end up letting youquit basketball.
Let's talk about that for a minute.
Okay.
So a lot of parents say, I'veheard this my whole life.
(28:38):
If a kid makes a commitment tosomething, you don't let them quit.
I've heard that, too.
You've heard that, too?
Probably because I've said itto you.
Yeah.
Well, I started questioningmyself thinking, actually, why?
Because I think I was just hadthat in my head because I just heard
it so many times.
And I agree that if you make acommitment to something, you should
(29:00):
see it through.
But at what cost?
At what point are yousuffering to.
The point where it's not worth it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
For anybody.
You couldn't even be aneffective team player when you were
feeling the way you were feeling.
And it's not.
I still do.
Definitely.
I enjoy basketball.
(29:20):
I like.
I still like it, but I think Imore so enjoy it, like, if I'm playing
with friends, something moresimple like that.
And I think I'm kind of guiltyof it because I would see you drawn
to something, and I'm like,oh, he loves basketball.
Let me sign him up for basketball.
Because I was always trying toget, like, I value the importance
(29:42):
of, like, a team sport or,like, being in something.
Right.
So I would see you have aninterest, and I'm like, oh, sign
them up.
And then you would absolutelyhate it.
Right.
So we both had to learn, kind of.
I had to learn.
Like, just because you have aninterest in something doesn't mean
you want to play itcompetitively, because you love to
(30:03):
go out and shoot baskets orwhen Bubba has his friends over,
you get out there and you playa game of basketball or even in an
environment.
Like there's a basketballtraining facility nearby.
And you just loved that.
Yeah, because there justwasn't the pressure to perform or
to win or to lose.
It was just for fun.
(30:23):
And I think that's why you'regoing to love CrossFit one day, because
it's basically just competingagainst yourself and trying to be
better every day and liftingheavy weights and, like, that's never
going to be detrimental.
I'm sure someone, even myself,I have done it to an extreme where
it's not healthy, but I thinkI would love for you to just get
(30:44):
to learn like.
Like weightlifting, because Ithink that's so important for your
future and it's something.
That you love and you would like.
It, and we should share that together.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I get that.
Yes.
And Daddy now, too.
You know, like, we.
And we have a whole basementfull of weights that are at your
disposal, but I want you toknow how to use them safely.
(31:05):
So I think that's somethingthat we could do in our future for
sure.
Okay, here's.
I'll end with this.
I know you're jonesing to getout of here, and I really appreciate
that you did this, but yousaid to me one day, you said, mom,
how many times have we worriedabout something that never even happened?
Yeah.
And tell me about that alittle bit.
(31:26):
Like, there's a lot of thingsthat I think everybody at one point
has worried about somethingthat didn't happen.
And I'm sure I could even saymost of the time, it never happens.
If not all the time, in our experience.
Exactly.
Like, I honestly don't thinkI've ever really had a reason that
(31:49):
I should be worried about something.
But I do think it is reallyhard to control if you are worried
about something.
You can't just think, I don'thave a reason.
There's not an off switch.
You can definitely think thatthat definitely helps.
That doesn't fix it, but it is something.
Well, I just.
When you said that, I thought,what good evidence for us for the
(32:12):
next time when we feel worriedor anxious to remind ourselves that
look, pretty much a hundredpercent of the worries I've had never
came to pass.
Yeah.
So that feels.
That feels like a helpfultool, right?
Yep.
You're like, yep.
Then I go now.
(32:33):
Well, actually, thank you so much.
This was the best Mother's Daygift you could have given me.
So just so you know, it's only Wednesday.
You have until Sunday.
But should you.
Should you not give me anything?
You're off the hook.
But I do love words in a card.
Okay, I can.
I can.
I can find a piece of paper.
I'll get something down.
Can you not write, happyMother's Day?
(32:54):
Love, Asher?
No, I can do a little bit more.
Okay.
I could maybe add a you'rewelcome for going on your podcast
or something.
Burn.
All right, everybody.
Well, happy Monday.
Thank you for being here.
I hope that this was valuable.
I hope you can share this with.
If you know someone who has achild that struggles with something
(33:16):
like anxiety, or if you're aparent of one or have a friend who
was a parent of one.
I would love if you wouldshare this episode.
As always, I'm so gratefulthat you're here.
I hope you have the best week.
Later.
That's a wrap on anotherepisode of Activate.
Stay up to date by followingRistenlee Ballard on Instagram.
(33:36):
Instagram.
And if this episode made youlaugh, offered value, or simply entertained
you, please like share andgive a five star review on itunes.
Thanks for being here.
Love y' all.
Later.
Island Boy J Music.
Hello, friends.
Welcome to Activate, a podcastconsisting of purposeful conversations
aimed at encouraging listenersto embrace both the beauty and chaos
of life.
I'm KB and I can't wait toshare valuable insights on health,
(00:23):
fitness, nutrition, aging,faith, family, and everything in
between to help you level upand activate your life.
I'm a former network marketinghater turned top leader in my industry.
I'm a certified life andnutrition coach, helping women to
break the same chains thatonce kept me stuck.
I'm so happy you're here.
Let's do this.
(00:45):
Hello, friends.
Happy Monday.
How are we?
I hope that you're great.
I am coming at you.
Today is Wednesday.
It is deadline day.
And I had such a special guestplace planned today.
We were recording thisafternoon and all was going well
until the technicaldifficulties happened.
(01:06):
And when I tell you I am sofrustrated today, I almost feel like
I shouldn't be coming to youtoday with this energy because it
is negative energy.
I just went on a little ragewalk outside to try to walk out some
of my frustrations.
I have shared with you thatthere's a new iteration of Activate
(01:27):
that is coming, and I'm soexcited to share it with you.
And I absolutely see this asSatan doing his work to keep this
all from happening.
The guest I had today wasgoing to share her powerful, powerful
testimony.
And that is the whole goal of,well, of honestly my life, but of
(01:49):
having this platform and thechanges I'm about to make is to glorify
God and get more guests sothat we can make the show bigger,
so that more people arelistening and more people ultimately
can be saved.
And obviously that is a hugecalling on my life.
And Satan is not for me inthis aspect.
And so he's going to work hardto make this difficult for me.
(02:11):
I actually woke up thismorning saying, actually, I woke
up with anxiety about my guest.
And I kept telling myself,like, there's no reason to be anxious.
You know, you're prepared.
She's wonderful.
And I will tell you, I'vealways had this feeling when I have
a guest, like, I'm not good enough.
I'm going to mess it up.
Something's going to go wrong.
And today it feels likeeverything went wrong.
(02:33):
And it just, it confirms thosefears in me that I'm not good enough.
I can't do this.
I shouldn't be doing this.
But I know that this is theenemy talking and this is not what
God wants.
And he.
God has showed me very clearlywhat he wants from me.
And I will Be darned if I letSatan win in this.
So I come hell or high water,today we get a podcast recording.
(02:58):
And so I've called in the big guns.
Probably the most specialguest, not probably the most special
guest I have ever and willever have on this podcast.
And it is the sweetest boy inall the land.
Asher Champ Ballard, welcometo the show.
Hello.
Hi, buddy.
How are you?
Good, good.
So, because we're havingtechnical difficulties, we're literally
(03:20):
sitting almost on top of eachother, sharing a microphone so that
we can both be seen and heard, right?
Yep.
So he's not the most excited,which I completely understand.
If I was a 12 year old boy, Ibet I wouldn't want to be on my mom's
podcast either.
But because like I said, he isthe sweetest boy, he has agreed to
(03:42):
oblige me in this.
We.
We actually had been talkingabout doing a podcast together, but
maybe it wasn't going to be today.
Right, right.
So we had been planning, butwe weren't like fully ready, would
you say?
Yep.
Do you feel like there'ssomething to be said about doing
things before you're ready?
Wait.
(04:02):
Okay.
Nothing.
Sometimes it's important tonot wait until you're ready to do
things and to just go aheadand do them if you feel like it's
something that can help someone.
Okay.
I agree.
Okay.
So having said that, Asher.
So.
Well, first of all, yesterday,when this recording will come out,
yesterday will have beenMother's Day.
So it's very special to methat you're here because everyone
(04:26):
on this podcast knows a lotabout you.
Because, of course, you'rejust my pride and joy and I love
you so much.
And I.
I talk about you a lot becauseI'm so proud of you and.
And we've been through a lot together.
I feel like in our.
In your life, you and I have.
You and I have been through alot, wouldn't you say?
I would agree.
Yeah.
(04:47):
So I think today, even thoughit's hard, it's not an easy thing
for anyone to talk about, butwe're going to talk a little bit
about the.
Your struggle that you've hadwith anxiety.
Okay.
Okay.
So, man, a few words here.
I see.
What?
Yeah.
Um, where do you have a.
Like a first memory of feeling anxious?
(05:10):
It kind of feels like it wasjust always there.
Interesting.
Remember?
So it's like you can't evenremember a time before you had anxiety.
Yeah.
It feels like it's been in youyour whole life.
For me, I can, if I had toThink back, I would say when I first
noticed it at least was whenwe started sending you to preschool.
(05:31):
And I think that was like,separation anxiety is where it started
because you were so used tobeing with me all the time no matter
what, and then it was all of asudden like I.
Your safe person was then,like, dropping you off at a place
with strangers almost.
Yeah.
So it makes a lot of sensethat you felt that way, but then
it just didn't get better.
(05:53):
Right.
So tell me how that kind ofprogressed into going to, like, big
school.
I think the longer it went on,the longer we, like, we were definitely
trying to do things that wouldhelp, but we didn't really find anything
that, like, worked really andhelped me feel better.
(06:14):
Right.
So let's talk about some ofthe tools that we did try.
So the first thing I canremember, like, well, maybe not the
first thing, but one of thethings I remember we did was took
you to a counselor, Ms.
Kami.
And do you remember thingsthat she.
Because it did seem like itwas helping.
It did.
And some of that made mewonder, like, is this actually helping
(06:37):
or does he just like this somuch because he gets to get out of
school for it every single week?
Well, I feel like for a whileafter it did help, like, I did do
a little bit better at school.
I also definitely did likegetting out of school for doing something
that I actually enjoyed.
(06:57):
Definite perk.
So that was nice.
And I got food after everytime, so that was just another bonus.
You're.
I'm a mom that spoils her.
Or bribes maybe is the wordfor children.
I would agree.
Okay, so can you remember anyof the tools that Ms.
Kami taught you?
And what age would you saythis was?
Would you say this was?
(07:18):
Was this second grade?
This was first.
First grade.
Okay.
Okay.
So as a first grader, whatwere some things that were helpful?
Well, the main thing I noticedshe did was like, slowly started
in the first few, like, sessions.
(07:38):
I guess you could say you werein there about, you know, for first
time, maybe the entire time,then maybe half.
And then it, you know, keptdecreasing until it was just me and
her for about an hour.
That's one thing I noticed.
And I think that kind ofhelped just me getting confidence
that I can do something on my own.
(08:01):
That is one thing that did work.
I know there's a lot of otherthings, like stress balls.
They're like little squishyballs that you like, kind of squeeze
when you're feeling anxious.
Yeah, that didn't really help, right?
Yeah.
Sensory stickers, things like that.
Those things didn't work.
No.
No.
(08:21):
Okay.
So that's actually.
I love that.
And that's something I didn't realize.
So showing you by me kind ofbeing there and then kind of coming
in less and less and you justbuilding that confidence in yourself.
Like, look, I'm doing this alone.
She's not in here, and I'm okay.
Yeah.
Even if I didn't exact.
I didn't realize it, butlooking back.
Yeah, I can definitely tell.
(08:42):
That's interesting.
I love that.
So I tried to write a littlelist of, like, things that we have
always tried to do to help you.
And this is, like, in noparticular order, but we always tried
to make sure you got goodsleep because we know when you would
wake up tired, that that would.
Yeah.
Even worse.
Right.
We.
We started you drinking happy juice.
(09:04):
Yeah.
Right.
And do you.
Tell me your honest feeling?
Do you think happy juice.
There's something specialabout happy juice, or do you think
that it's just.
It says it's supposed to behappy juice, and so it makes you
feel like you're doing something.
I definitely think most of itwas just the feeling that this is
helping me.
Right.
(09:24):
And that was definitely.
I mean, that was helpful.
And also it tastes reallygood, so I enjoyed that part.
Yeah.
But it might have helped alittle, but not really.
Mostly placebo effect.
You know what that is?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Mostly just me thinking.
Right.
I think that a lot of thingsmight have been placebo things in
that, like, we're telling you,okay, this is supposed to help.
(09:48):
So do this.
And then it's like, okay, Ihave a tool, like, something to try.
Yeah.
Well, a lot of those.
I feel like as soon, like,right away, it seemed like it was
really helping.
Yeah.
But then, like, let's saywe're doing one on the way to school
or something.
But then once I actually gotthere, it all kind of just went away.
(10:09):
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
But so I think you and Italked about this last night, and
I think it was just.
It felt good to know we weretrying something.
Yeah.
Even when it didn't ultimately help.
So we tried calming oils.
I know you would put, like, alavender or a calming oil, like,
roller ball thing in your.
(10:29):
In your desk or in your school bag.
We did worship music on theway to school.
Tell me about that.
That didn't help.
Right.
Because why.
Because what does worshipmusic tend to do sometimes?
Oh.
Makes me, like, sad.
It makes kind of a little sad.
It does, yeah.
(10:50):
Yeah.
We.
We must not have had the mostupbeat worship songs.
No, we did not.
So that did not work.
Or it was songs that you liked.
Yeah.
So.
Oh.
So that it almost, like, makeyou think of me and how you're leaving
me.
Or also just.
Oh.
Or you just didn't like the song.
That was my.
That was what I was thinkingwhen I said that.
(11:10):
Yeah.
Okay, My bad.
All right.
We tried different books aboutseparation anxiety and feeling anx.
We ended up in therapy againfrom home.
And was that at all helpful?
I think.
I think so.
I don't think it was asolution, though.
(11:31):
I think it made me feel alittle bit better just talking about
it, I guess.
Right.
But I don't really think itfixed any problems.
Okay, that's good to know.
We did like, breathing.
Like, deep breathing techniques.
We put.
I put box or notes in your lunchbox.
(11:52):
Okay.
You had a watch that allowedyou to.
Yes.
Stay connected to me.
So tell me about that.
Very helpful.
Just knowing at any point I could.
No matter.
Even, you know, no matter whatI could, I still had a way to talk
to you.
You had access to me when youneeded me.
Yep.
Yeah, I think that was a bigdeal too.
(12:14):
Let's see.
Okay, tell me about thepicture in the folder.
So someone told us.
Told me to put a pict.
Picture of me and you in yourfolder or in your bag.
And tell me about that.
That was torture, honestly.
Because I just got reminded of sadness.
And then every time you lookedin your folder.
Exactly.
Okay, that did not help.
(12:35):
Okay.
Torture.
Okay, got it.
How about people in yourschool like Ms.
McGee and Ms.
H?
They were very helpful,especially honestly, Ms.
H.
Because I was able to take alittle break.
Just get.
So kind of explain that.
So she was someone who workedat your school.
(12:57):
She wasn't your teacher, but she.
She was a carpool person.
So every morning she would getyou out of the car.
And so you two just formedthis special relationship, and she
had an understanding of your feelings.
She would share with us that,like her.
Her son also struggled withthese things.
So.
So she understood you from thebeginning with.
Which obviously made you feelsafe with her.
(13:18):
Yeah.
And then she gave you a spaceto come to if you were struggling.
And so you could, you know,leave your classroom and go talk
to her if you were feelingteary or just really, really sad.
And she would give you.
What was the.
The thing that you said thatshe gave you?
Oh, time.
Just like a minute to kinda.
(13:39):
Right.
Relax, reset, and then go backto class feeling better.
That I just had some time to,like, just think Just have a minute.
Like.
Yeah, just take a break.
When we were talking aboutthis, too, you mentioned that time,
like, a lot of the anxietyrevolves around the issue of too
(14:01):
much time or not enough time.
Not enough time.
Right.
So explain that.
Well, one of the things that Inoticed is on the way to school,
let's say that was one of theworst times because, you know, just
every second we were justgetting a little anticipation.
Yeah.
Just constantly like that.
And the reason that was sohard, because I was getting less
(14:21):
and less, like, time or eventime was running out.
Yeah.
When I wake up in the morning,that even just felt like.
And honestly, the way you wokeup so early was also an anxiety response,
because a normal kid wakes up,like, 10 minutes before they gotta
roll out the door.
Right.
But you wanted to be up, like,you would want to be up, like, two
hours before you had to leavefor school.
(14:43):
Yep.
Because it gave you more time.
Right.
And so then time became anissue when you got to school because
that was too much.
Too much time.
So it was always kind of not enough.
Right around time.
Time or kind of separation or.
Honestly, the separation isthe same thing.
Because it's time away from me.
(15:03):
Yeah.
Or because honestly.
So your.
The anxiety would show up towhen Mommy and Daddy were gonna travel
that as well.
Right.
And so that was really astruggle for you.
Yeah, Especially if I hadschool during that time.
That was, that was roughbecause it was hard enough to get
through school anyway.
(15:24):
But then without one of usbeing here, it was.
Yeah.
Torture again.
Just torture.
Okay, so we basically, we'vebeen torturing Asher since 2012.
Actually never left you for,like, three and a half years.
So let's see.
I'm trying to see what else.
So we talked about time,school, sports.
Why don't you talk about alittle bit about, like, organized.
(15:45):
Yeah, that was the fear of,like, pressure.
Kind of like having the fearof messing up or something like that
was just overwhelming.
Yeah.
And there are coaches.
Well, kind of like coaches bynature are going to be like, yelling,
especially in a game like basketball.
Right.
(16:05):
Yeah.
They're yelling.
So you having never beenyelled at in your entire life.
Yep.
Because you came out sweet andprecious and stayed that way.
So I'm sure I can only imaginewhat it felt like to all of a sudden
be, like, thrust into asituation where you're getting yelled
at.
Yeah.
(16:25):
And you would start to justpanic, like, days before a game.
Yeah.
And practice wasn't quite asbad because there was not such pressure.
I, I, I almost enjoyed it.
Enjoyed that, like, that wasfun because we just got to like,
it wasn't important.
Like, it.
Yeah.
It was just how we do.
(16:46):
Yeah.
And we tried to impress uponyou that, look, the game is just.
It's just a game.
It's not that important.
But honestly, when you're in aroom, a gymnasium like that, it's
just a whole bunch of peoplemaking you feel like this is like
the most important thing inthe world and don't let us down.
Yeah.
Right.
So that also just becamesomething that you would just ruminate
(17:07):
on.
And I would say, like, don'tpre worry and don't like, don't ruin
today worrying about somethingthat's going to happen tomorrow.
And you just couldn't getyourself out of the spiral.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, that's hard.
So if you had to explain,like, what does anxiety feel like
to you?
What.
How would you explain that to somebody?
(17:29):
To me especially, I have another.
This isn't so much anxiety.
Just something I don't like to do.
Going places, like.
Yeah.
Literally anywhere.
It doesn't have to go anywhere.
But to me, like, if I had to,let's say it's like noon, 12 o' clock,
(17:51):
you know, middle of the day.
But we were going to dinner atlike five or something.
Okay.
It would feel like I couldn't,like I had nothing.
You couldn't enjoy any part ofthat day.
I couldn't enjoy any part ofthat day because I had that coming
up.
And that kind of just feelslike a weight on my chest of where
(18:13):
I.
I just have to think aboutthat dread.
Yep.
And a heaviness.
Some panic in not.
Maybe not in having to leavethe house, but like panic.
Definitely.
And like there was abasketball game tonight.
Yeah.
Or you had school tomorrow.
Like you would hate if I said,you know, you got school tomorrow.
(18:34):
Oh, yeah.
That.
Yeah.
That was like, not allowed forme to speak.
Do not speak of this.
Yeah, that was.
That was rough.
Don't remind you of.
It's like you already knew,but just bringing it up would just
ruin your mood and give youmuch more anxiety.
And then it was just so sadtoo, because.
(18:55):
Tell me about this.
So a lot of times when youwere feeling really anxious or when
I was about to drop you off atschool or when you were at school,
the last thing you would wantto do is cry.
Yeah.
And it was like your bodybetrayed you because you couldn't
help those tears from coming.
Yeah.
And then I didn't want to gowalk in school, like.
(19:16):
Right.
Just make me feel even worse.
Right.
That was another.
Yeah.
Like the fear of fear.
Right.
And then you just, you'reworrying your friends were going
to see you crying and have toexplain yourself to another person
or like, I'm sure that didfeel awful.
And believe me, as your mom,it felt so awful dropping you off
(19:37):
there every day.
Absolutely horrible.
I can't tell you how manytimes I was at the gym just like,
just so.
Just kind of defeated becauseby the time I would get you to school
and get you out the door, itwas just, it was just like both of
our hearts were broken.
Yeah.
That was so, so difficult.
(19:57):
So other than what weultimately did, because we'll talk
about that.
Yeah.
Do you what things?
Like, if you had to name twoof the top things, what were the
things that helped the most?
The having watch, phone and backpack.
Yep.
Any of those things helped a lot.
(20:17):
Yep.
So like, you.
If you were, you know, reallylike freaking out in school and you
just needed to like send aquick text from the bathroom or something
or say like, what's going on?
Anything.
Right.
That just knowing, not evendoing it, just knowing that you can
just made.
Me feel so much better.
(20:38):
You didn't even have to usethe phone.
You just needed to know it was there.
Exactly.
Right, Right.
And then you did say a few.
But like, what are things thatjust are not helpful?
Yeah.
The ones like stress ball,sensory stickers.
Think things that just werenot helpful.
(21:04):
Like, this is tricky.
Yeah.
Because I did list a few thatdid not help.
Really.
Right.
Maybe, like.
That'S okay.
I mean, we talked about, wetalked about it.
So honestly, nothing washelpful except for maybe the few
(21:24):
things that you just said.
But the only thing is that Iwould say is that it did help to
know we were trying something,even if ultimately whatever that
thing was wasn't helpful.
Yeah.
So that's kind of what I wouldsay about that.
Let's see what can, if I hadto ask you or if I asked you, what
(21:45):
did you need from me the mostin the midst of these feelings of
anxiety?
Just like, honestly, one thingis it was not possible to do every
day, but one thing that wedid, you know, do a few, like a time
or two.
If I, like I remember thelatest time when you were going to
(22:11):
tenant Nashville or somewhere.
Okay.
This was this year.
Yeah.
Well, I guess 2024.
Yep.
But this school year and Ijust got dropped off at like about
10:00.
Yeah.
That just made me feel so much better.
Just getting like when yousaid, hey, you can, we can.
(22:33):
Right.
Because so what you're sayingis you knew I was leaving.
That was really hard for you.
And it was on a school day,and so I said, look, let's spend
this the morning together, andI'll drop you off at the latest possible
time.
Yeah.
If you remember correctly, Isat in the airport that whole day
and then never ended upgetting to Nashville.
Yeah, yeah, I remember that.
But, yes, that's true.
(22:54):
So that was one good thing,was that I offered you back as much
time as I could.
Really just come.
Come out to time.
But then what about just,like, understanding?
Oh, yeah, Just like.
Letting.
Hearing my thoughts.
That was definitely a big helpin just, like, agreeing with them.
(23:15):
Right.
Not trying to, like, talk youout of them or tell you why they're
wrong, but just being like, I understand.
Exactly.
Yep.
That was another thing thatwas very helpful.
Right.
And you know, you're theperfect kid for me because I do understand
God.
God knew that, you know, thathe's like, she can understand him
because she's felt this too.
So that's kind of anotherinteresting thing that we've not
(23:37):
talked about.
But Daddy has neverexperienced anxiety, so he doesn't
fully understand where you'recoming from.
He could.
He could be sad that you werefeeling that way, but he didn't have
an understanding of what itfelt like.
So it made it a little harderfor you to kind of get your point
across to Daddy.
Yeah.
Would you say.
(23:58):
Yeah, I agree.
And did that feel a little frustrating?
Sometimes.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
He doesn't listen to my podcasts.
I get.
Yeah, but.
Not.
Well, honestly, I wouldusually talk to you because I knew
you did understand.
It's like, if you had aquestion about fishing, you wouldn't
(24:20):
ask me.
No.
Right.
Like, he would go to Daddy.
I was just the one who could.
I was the one for this job.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
So what would you say to.
You can pick either anotherkid or a parent who.
A kid with anxiety or a parentwho has a child that struggles with
anxiety.
(24:40):
Do you have any?
I guess some of those weregood tips.
But what about.
What about a kid your age oryounger who just feels the same way
that you did?
What would you say?
Well, honestly, the biggesthelp was, like, going to a different
school.
Well, right, okay.
So we haven't gotten to thatyet, so.
(25:01):
Yeah.
Okay.
So ultimately, what happenedis that God allowed my car accident
and impending heart surgery tomake us finally make a move as a
family.
When we saw that you justabsolutely were not thriving.
Like, you just weren't okay at some.
Point, it just wasn't theright school at this point.
(25:22):
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
And just because something isright for somebody or just because
a school could be absolutely awonderful place with wonderful people
and it doesn't mean that it'sright for every kid.
Yeah.
And so we found Valor Onlineschool and that really has changed
everything.
(25:42):
Sometimes I say to you, like,Ashley, you have school tomorrow.
And you're like, yeah, I know.
Like, thank God.
Right?
Like, I'm so glad that I getto go to school tomorrow because
you truly love it.
Would you say?
I would agree.
I'm definitely not.
Like, if the only thing that Iwould not like about the week, not
(26:04):
even dealing with school, isthat my friends had school and they
were not available to playvideo games or another one, is I
would have to go up to my roomtwo hours earlier.
But the actual school wise, Iwas not dreading it.
(26:25):
I was not like worried aboutit at, in the slightest.
Right.
And everyone there is so kind.
There's no pressure.
Everyone.
If you have an issue, theyjust help you through the issue.
The classes are smaller, soit's less students to one teacher.
You can.
Yeah, obviously it's, it'sBible based.
Maybe that's not obvious, butit's a Bible based school and we
(26:45):
love that about it.
That's a really importantthing for me, which is why I had
you in a Christian school tostart with, is because I wanted you
to have a foundation of, of God.
So tell me, how has God comeinto play in this issue of anxiety?
Well, possibly one of thebiggest helps definitely, like asking
(27:10):
God to take away my worry, myworry or my anxiety about something.
Yep.
If I'm worried or like aboutschool the next day, let's say.
Well, not now, I guess.
Yeah.
But like before, before, if Iwas worried about something coming
up, I just asked, lord, pleasetake away my fear about whatever
(27:33):
it may be.
So that was definitely one ofthe biggest helps.
And do you have any Bibleverses that you love that have helped
you through this type of thing?
Well, I guess Philippians4:13, I can do all things through
Christ who strengthens me.
Because that is kind of likeone that feels like it's similar
(27:55):
to.
Well, it, it's okay.
It makes me like, it'sactually kind of.
It makes sense, you know, like it.
What it's saying is really,you literally.
Can do it because I'm heregiving you the power to do it.
Right.
And you can't.
You're not gonna argue with God.
(28:16):
He said it.
Right.
Well, that is amazing.
So Ultimately, what I hear yousaying is that you're in a really
good place now.
So we did end up letting youquit basketball.
Let's talk about that for a minute.
Okay.
So a lot of parents say, I'veheard this my whole life.
(28:38):
If a kid makes a commitment tosomething, you don't let them quit.
I've heard that, too.
You've heard that, too?
Probably because I've said itto you.
Yeah.
Well, I started questioningmyself thinking, actually, why?
Because I think I was just hadthat in my head because I just heard
it so many times.
And I agree that if you make acommitment to something, you should
(29:00):
see it through.
But at what cost?
At what point are yousuffering to.
The point where it's not worth it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
For anybody.
You couldn't even be aneffective team player when you were
feeling the way you were feeling.
And it's not.
I still do.
Definitely.
I enjoy basketball.
(29:20):
I like.
I still like it, but I think Imore so enjoy it, like, if I'm playing
with friends, something moresimple like that.
And I think I'm kind of guiltyof it because I would see you drawn
to something, and I'm like,oh, he loves basketball.
Let me sign him up for basketball.
Because I was always trying toget, like, I value the importance
(29:42):
of, like, a team sport or,like, being in something.
Right.
So I would see you have aninterest, and I'm like, oh, sign
them up.
And then you would absolutelyhate it.
Right.
So we both had to learn, kind of.
I had to learn.
Like, just because you have aninterest in something doesn't mean
you want to play itcompetitively, because you love to
(30:03):
go out and shoot baskets orwhen Bubba has his friends over,
you get out there and you playa game of basketball or even in an
environment.
Like there's a basketballtraining facility nearby.
And you just loved that.
Yeah, because there justwasn't the pressure to perform or
to win or to lose.
It was just for fun.
(30:23):
And I think that's why you'regoing to love CrossFit one day, because
it's basically just competingagainst yourself and trying to be
better every day and liftingheavy weights and, like, that's never
going to be detrimental.
I'm sure someone, even myself,I have done it to an extreme where
it's not healthy, but I thinkI would love for you to just get
(30:44):
to learn like.
Like weightlifting, because Ithink that's so important for your
future and it's something.
That you love and you would like.
It, and we should share that together.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I get that.
Yes.
And Daddy now, too.
You know, like, we.
And we have a whole basementfull of weights that are at your
disposal, but I want you toknow how to use them safely.
(31:05):
So I think that's somethingthat we could do in our future for
sure.
Okay, here's.
I'll end with this.
I know you're jonesing to getout of here, and I really appreciate
that you did this, but yousaid to me one day, you said, mom,
how many times have we worriedabout something that never even happened?
Yeah.
And tell me about that alittle bit.
(31:26):
Like, there's a lot of thingsthat I think everybody at one point
has worried about somethingthat didn't happen.
And I'm sure I could even saymost of the time, it never happens.
If not all the time, in our experience.
Exactly.
Like, I honestly don't thinkI've ever really had a reason that
(31:49):
I should be worried about something.
But I do think it is reallyhard to control if you are worried
about something.
You can't just think, I don'thave a reason.
There's not an off switch.
You can definitely think thatthat definitely helps.
That doesn't fix it, but it is something.
Well, I just.
When you said that, I thought,what good evidence for us for the
(32:12):
next time when we feel worriedor anxious to remind ourselves that
look, pretty much a hundredpercent of the worries I've had never
came to pass.
Yeah.
So that feels.
That feels like a helpfultool, right?
Yep.
You're like, yep.
Then I go now.
(32:33):
Well, actually, thank you so much.
This was the best Mother's Daygift you could have given me.
So just so you know, it's only Wednesday.
You have until Sunday.
But should you.
Should you not give me anything?
You're off the hook.
But I do love words in a card.
Okay, I can.
I can.
I can find a piece of paper.
I'll get something down.
Can you not write, happyMother's Day?
(32:54):
Love, Asher?
No, I can do a little bit more.
Okay.
I could maybe add a you'rewelcome for going on your podcast
or something.
Burn.
All right, everybody.
Well, happy Monday.
Thank you for being here.
I hope that this was valuable.
I hope you can share this with.
If you know someone who has achild that struggles with something
(33:16):
like anxiety, or if you're aparent of one or have a friend who
was a parent of one.
I would love if you wouldshare this episode.
As always, I'm so gratefulthat you're here.
I hope you have the best week.
Later.
That's a wrap on anotherepisode of Activate.
Stay up to date by followingRistenlee Ballard on Instagram.
(33:36):
Instagram.
And if this episode made youlaugh, offered value, or simply entertained
you, please like share andgive a five star review on itunes.
Thanks for being here.
Love y' all.
Later.
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