Capitol Poonishment

00:00 Babies hate podcasts • 
00:23 Reverse motivation • 
01:16 Stupid is good • 
02:34 Capital Pewnishment • 
03:10 God • 
04:06 Stupid brain • 
04:44 Adaptation • 
06:02 Surprise kill vanish • 
06:46 Collective energy • 
08:13 Insane obsession • 
09:22 23 and maybe • 
10:08 Mitch Hedberg • • 

Featured Music: 
Minnesota - Stardust Redux (Perkulat0r Remix) •  
Alan Watts - Mr. Jazz • 
Manic Focus - Your X Now (Feat. Exmag and Borahm Lee) • 
Derlee - Off The Beat'n Path (Daily Bread Remix) • 
Thrupence - Stop Using Logic • 
Cal Tjader - Nica's Dream • 
CharlesTheFirst - Step:Time • 
Abakus - Liberated From The Negative • 
Haywyre - Mindchamber • 
Will Sessions - Life's a Bitch • • • 

Drawings: 
https://www.instagram.com/apriccot.art • 

Video Games: 
https://www.twitch.tv/apricccot • 

Videos:
https://www.youtube.com/apriccot •

Published: May 22, 2019 (2019-05-22) • 
Remixed: June 21, 2019 (2019-06-21) • 
Software: Adobe Audition •  

www.apricotjamspodcast.com 
© 2019 Apricot Jams. All rights reserved.

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Episode Transcript

Zareh (00:05):
My one year old hates podcasts, she would always much
rather have music on when I putit on.
I can tell, she's kind of justlike, come on mannnn.
Yeah, and I get it, if you don'tknow what words mean, it's just
a bunch of people going by blahblah blah blah.
It's a just a bunch of Yodasmumbling it up.

(00:50):
It's almost impossible to knowwhat you'e gonna want 20 years
from now.
So when people say"figure outwhat you want and chase your
dreams" well, it takes a longtime to chase things, decades
sometimes, and by the time you'done chasing you don't know if
you'll still want that thing.
So just avoid things you don'tlike, it's a better strategy, I
do it all the time.
I brush my teeth because I don'twant to go to the dentist, I do
this art thing because I don'twant to work in an office.
I know the stuff I don't wantand I just avoid them, then
things sort of just move in theright direction.
It's a lot easier than trying tobe a fortune teller.

(01:34):
Are tall people better thanshort people?
No.
Are quick people better thanslow people?
No.
Are smart people better thandumb people?
No, they're not.
They're just different.
That's it.
There are plenty of thingsthat's dumb people are better at

(01:57):
than smart people.
But as a society, it's justaccepted that intelligence is
this fucking grace and gift.
I mean it is, it's nice, it'snice to be smart, but people who
aren't smart shouldn't be madeto feel like completely fucking
useless humans.

(02:55):
They're good at stuff too, andthere's plenty of uses for us in
society.
I mean, who else is gonna flythose crazy ass squirrel suits
through the mountains at amillion miles per hour?
Who else is gonna chase theirdreams for the off chance that
they make it big and becomefamous, grinding through the
days with no progress, just painand embarrassment.
Only one kind of person, thedumb dumbs:).

(02:55):
Rape is such a terrible thing.
Horrible.
The people that do this kind ofstuff deserve the worst, and
what is the worst thing that youcould do to a rapist?
I dunno, probably rape em.
Although they'll probably enjoyit.
I wouldn't be surprised ifrapists enjoy being raped, but I
mean, how do you even get thatjob of the capital poonisher,
the rapist raper.

Zareh (03:03):
There's something indescribably beautiful about
watching someone in theircreative flow.
Whether it's a dancer moving tothe music, musicians jamming and
creating music, lyricistsfreestyling, an artist painting.
There's something to it, to thatcreative energy, to that flow,
when in that zone thatmeditative state.
It's true beauty.
Tapping into that is what Ithink God truly is.
Not what's in those dusty books,that guy in the sky, but instead
it's this creative flow thatconnects as humans.
It doesn't push us apart.
Everybody want's to create, Idon't care who you are, in one
way or another you do, andanyone can do it, that's the
beauty.
With enough love, practice andtime, you got it.

(03:58):
Normally I don't really mindbeing stupid.
But every now and then it getsannoying.
Like when I'm in a situationwhen I should feel bad about
what's going on around me, but Idon't, and I'm cool with that,
cuz it's hard enough beinghappy.
But then my brain comes in andgoes"wait a second, you don't
feel bad about this?
Here, man, let me help you out,have some guilt." And then all
the sudden I feel bad, because Ididn't feel bad.
Stupid brain.

(04:35):
The human mind and body areamazing at adapting to things

(05:44):
that are thrown at us.
It's amazing, but it canbackfire.
I work hard all week doing mything, and my mind and body
adapt to that state.
But once the weekend comesaround, I can't relax and turn
it off.
Not without a couple beers atleast.
Adaptation can be a bitch.
And psychological disorders,dude, thats how the mind adapts
to horrible, abusiveenvironments.
But once you adapt to that andtry going back into regular
society, you kind of feel like awierdo.
You adapt to the cold, heatsucks.
Adapt to the heat, cold sucks.
It's like the same thing thathelps us survive, kind of makes
us miserable.
So I just finished listening tothis lady talking about how the
US government apparently hasassassins across the entire
world, just chilling and waitingfor the command to start
assassinating fools, and atfirst I was like, girl are you
crazy?
Talking about this shit on theair you're about to get your own
ass assassinated.
But then I was like nah she'sfine, the government wants
people to know this.
It's just good PR.
Think about it, if you know Ihave assassins in your country,
you're a lot less likely to fuckwith me.

(06:33):
There's a magic that happenswhenever a lot of humans get
together in one place and areall there for one thing.
There's an energy thatsindescribable but it's pretty
fucking magical.
Whether it's religious, aconcert, a movie, a game night,
a party.
It doesn't matter.
It's like collectively all theelectricity in our bodies
exponentially intensifies, it'sweird but it's amazing, and it's
something that everyone acrossthe entire world understands.
You go anywhere and there'ssomething to the collective
gathering that people justinherently understand and feel.
Some people rebel against it andhate but those people are
everywhere.
Anything you get, there's alwayssomeone that hates it but the
majority just get it.
Any human with a heart and mindcan feel the magic of being at a
concert, staring at the band andfeeling the vibe.
Being at a religious gatheringand everyone praying together
and doing something together.
There's a unity, a magic, youcan't really put it into words
but as long as you open yourselfup to it, the feeling is
undeniable.

(08:03):
Sometimes the amount of socialisolation required to become
insanely good at something orinsanely successful, makes us
insane.
I got a taste of it when I wastwitch streaming, alone in a
room staring at a screen for8-12 hours a day.
Yea there's chat but there's noone really there.
I think there's a physicalenergy to humans, a look in the
eyes, and all of that is foodfor us, for our mind for our
soul, and when it's not there westart to starve.
Thats why i feel bad forsuccessful people who isolate
themselves from humans.
It's just not good and you don'trealize until you're out of it,
becuase we adapt and stay sanesomehow but it's impossible to
know how bad it is unless you'renot in it, and if you're stuck
in it for financial reasons,well, god help you.

(09:31):
I absolutely love this 23 and mething and the data it proves, as

(09:54):
long as insurance companiesdon't start fucking people for
it, it's an amazing thing.
I love seeing what I'm mixedwith, what people of my
ethnicity are mixed with, butthere's always this voice in the
back of my head going"how hardis it to guess?" I mean if i
knew someones name, theirethnicity, a picture of them,
how hard would it be to justcollect their money and just
guess?
What if 23 and me is just abunch of really smart people who
are good at kinda figuring outwhat you might be, and how
stupid do i sound right now.

(10:21):
Thank you so much for listening.
That concludes Season 4 ofApricot Jams.
This episode was brought to youby Mitch Hedberg because I would
never have gotten into comedy, Imean, I might have some day, but
he was the first comedian thatreally, really made me laugh out

(10:41):
loud.
One of my buddies just had hisCD and we sat in the car on the
drive home and I was laughingthe whole way.
Thank you.
Mitch.
Rip, miss you buddy.
Um, what else?
Oh yeah, you can find my art onInstagram.
I'm gonna be putting more videoson youtube soon.
I twitch stream league oflegends sometimes, and that is

(11:05):
all.
I am so excited and happy thatseason four is done.
I can relax for a little bit andcome back strong with season
five.
I can't even believe we've gonethrough 40 episodes of these,
it's nutso sauce, but it'sflowing.
It's working and I'm going tokeep going as long as people
keep listening.
Much love.
Thank you so much, and I'll seeyou guys soon.