iAccidentLawyer

00:00 So smart • 
00:41 Gender assumption • 
01:49 Nostalgia • 
02:53 Loving themselves • 
03:16 Circlejerk chamber • 
04:02 Cow worship • 
04:33 Genetic claustrophobia • 
04:56 Son of a great man • 
05:33 Fire worship • 
05:58 Forgotten past • 
06:30 Drawing vs streaming • 
07:19 Hardest difficulty • 
08:07 Spirals in the east • 
08:54 Castle Hill • • • 

Featured Music: 
Hardkandy - Loose Ends •  
David Cutter Music - Keep On • 
Kupla - storyofus • 
Hugo Kant - This Old Relaxation ( Remix from This Old Tune by Zé Mateo) • 
Medeski Martin & Wood - The Lover (Live at Java Jazz Festiva 2012) •
Tom Misch - The Journey • 
Zeelim - Kutiman • 
KarmawiN - Bushido • 
Lusine - Arterial • • • 

Drawings: 
www.instagram.com/_apricotjams • 

Twitch: 
www.twitch.tv/apricotjams • 

Published: May 8, 2019 (2019-05-08) • 
Software: Adobe Audition • • 

www.apricotjamspodcast.com 
© 2019 Apricot Jams. All rights reserved.

Support the show

Episode Transcript

Zareh (00:05):
I saw a billboard the other day that said
"iAccidentLawyers" and I almostpissed myself at how genius this
was.
These accident lawyer guys wereso smart.
They realized that the"i" wasthe reason why Apple was
successful, just that oneletter, not anything else, and
they copied it.
If it ain't broke don't fix it.
Why couldn't I be this smartman.
I knew I should've beeniApricot.
I accidentally assumed someone'sgender the other day for the
first time in my life.
I was hiking with one of mybuddies and we stopped to take a
water break, you know, hangingout right by the trail.
Then, what looks like a middleaged Mexican man is walking
towards us.
So I make eye contact and sayhi.
I like to do that when I'mhiking.
It's nice.
It feels good.
So I go,"hey man", and I wave.
Next thing I know, the mostfeminine voice comes out of this
Mexican man and goes,"Hey...
MAN" and I was likefuuuuuuuuuck.
I immediately said"my bad", likemy instincts kicked in and I
said my bad, but it was toolate.
She was mad.
But how was I supposed to know?
The sky's blue and you look likea dude.
I'm doing my best here.

(00:44):
There aren't very many feelingsin this world quite as chocolate
and creamy as nostalgia.
That warm and fuzzy feeling ofremembering is something
everyone can understand.
No matter who you are, where youare, even if there's no word for
it in your language, you know itfeels good.
It's almost like as we getolder, our memories and
experiences stack on top ofthemselves, like cake or a
rubber band ball, just addinglayers, burying those early ones
real deep.
Then when something happenswhere were forced to recall our
memories, something magicalhappens.
It's like we're sticking ourhands through all those
different layers, tickling ourneurons and emotions reaching
deep in there grabing that oldone.
It's real nice but makes it veryeasy to remember things much
more fondly than how theyactually happened.
I don't really know what to makeof this.
I've been seeing a lot ofmarried couples that look like
each other.
A lot of dogs that look liketheir owners.
It's freaky.
A lot of people just reallyloving themselves I guess.

(00:44):
Circle jerks might seem like a good idea in theory.
Everyone's getting some right?
But no, they're not a good idea.
It's a place where people sitaround and agree with each other
all day.
It aint no good, you need peopleto disagree with you.
You need people to challengeyour ideas, or else it everyone
thinks the same and they hateanyone who disagrees.
From what I can tell, part ofthe reason why my marriage is
working is because of howdifferent my wife and I are.
She flows with things noworries, while i worry about
preventing bad things fromhappening, but it flip sides of
the same coin.
Can't have the light withoutsome darkness.

Zareh (02:12):
It makes a lot of sense why cows are worshiped in some
religions.
Cows are chill as fuck man.
At least the female ones are,but you chop off the nuts of the

(02:32):
bull and he's pretty chill too.
And the milk thing too, youknow, for a woman who can't
breastfeed, you got a little bitof milk source right there.
Better than no milk.
Man.
I knew I loved my daughter fromthe moment she squeezed out of
my wife.

(02:53):
Just like me, it was obviousthat she also didn't like small
cramped spaces.
She appreciated not being inthere anymore.
And I was like, yeah, we can becool.

(04:21):
There've been a lot of storiesthroughout time and say things
like"The son of a great man isnot always a great man".
It makes sense.
I mean the great man is probablyprobably successful.
Success brings wealth and wealthbrings comfort and it's nice to
be comfortable.
When there's no struggle,there's no motivation for work

(04:44):
for anything, but I don't blamehim man.
Why would you give a fuck aboutanything if you already have
everything?
The more I think about it themore worshiping fire makes a lot
of sense.
The pagans knew it, the lord oflight people knew it.
It cooks your food, gives youlight, gives you warmth, you can
use it as a weapon and it looksdope.
I don't know about you but I'mconvinced.

(05:23):
What if all those really wildthings in stories from, you
know, just fantasy stuffactually existed, but it was all
erased.
When a fucking volcano.
A super Volcano erupted or acomet hit the earth.
You know, magic, Elves, Ogres,Giants, Vampires...

(05:44):
Vampires are still around.
They're just sexually frustratedpeople.
Vampires are hungery for blood.
These motherfuckers are justthirsty.
There's been a huge differencebetween the community of art on
Instagram and the community ofstreaming games on Twitch.

(06:06):
Huge.
The art community overall ispretty supportive.
Pretty positive.
They tell you good things.
I honestly wish they were morecritical cause I'd probably
learn more.
But it's nice because the twitchcommunity is like literally the
opposite.
You just get shat on.
Everyone's telling you whatyou're doing wrong.

(06:26):
You're the butt of every joke.
It kind of made me feel at home.
I'm not going to lie, itreminded me of my parents.
Nothing but criticism becauseyou must always improve.

(08:11):
If your body and mind can handlethe punishment, I think you
should always start at thehardest difficulty level.
It's going to hurt.
You're going to need to be ableto take a beating, but hey, it's
fastest way to grow.
It's not what I did by the wayor what I do ever.
I like starting at the bottom.

(08:31):
Shitsville.
And just gradually learning andslowly making my way to the top.
I'm honestly not smart enough tostart on hard.
I've had to accept that reality.
Well, why would I do it anyway?
It doesn't make sense, are youstupid?
Oh, all that stuff I just said?
Yeah, it's like 50% idealism and50% talking out of my ass.

(08:59):
So the sun rises in the east andsets in the West, which means
we're spinning eastward causethat's where the sun pops out
from.
It's interesting how hurricanesalso only happened on the east
coast of continents.
It's like we're spinning intothe wind and creating this

(09:20):
spiral.
It's crazy.
Like the energy has nowhere togo, so it just builds up and
then goes Woosh and you'refucked...
Oh no no wait, wait, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
The earth is obviously flat, soit must just be the government
who set up a bunch of really bigfans somewhere over in the east.

(09:45):
Thanks for listening.
This episode is brought to youby Castle Rock.
It's this arrangement of reallylarge stones somewhere in New
Zealand.
I believe on the South Island,if I remember correctly.
And being at this place was theclosest thing I've ever had to a
religious experience.

(10:06):
I don't know what it was.
I don't know if it was the waythat sound was echoing.
I don't know if it was the wind.
We were there as the sun wasgoing down.
It was just me and my wife Deeand holy fuck things I felt from
being in this place.
I don't even know.
All I know is I got to go backsomeday.
It's the only place in the worldthat I know I will return to at

(10:28):
some point in my life.
Or at least I would try myhardest.
And that was not an ad.
That was a just an experiencethat I had, but I really wanted
to share with you guys and I sayit was brought to you by it
because it was.
Without an experience thatintense, you know, we all need
to have those weird wild feelingsometimes that don't make any
sense.
I probably wouldn't be makingthis podcast.

(10:53):
Anyway.
You can find my drawings onInstagram.
I'm about to start postingyoutube tutorials for drawing.
I stream on twitch sometimes anduh, yeah, see you guys soon.