May 14, 2019 • 13 mins
00:00 Leveraging a curse •
00:47 Unibrow on a child •
02:10 Protect Goldilocks •
03:25 Soft goodbye •
03:51 Leaky face •
05:08 Mediocrity rules •
06:07 Down to earth •
06:59 Secret shortcut •
09:26 10 kids •
09:58 Delicate balance •
11:42 Straws pulled at random • • •
Featured Music:
Blue in Green - Rainy Streets •
Stochastic Resonance - Manic Focus (ft. Statik) •
Younger Brother - Pound a Rhythm (Electronic Mix) •
Shook - Remember •
iamalex - Summer Goes By •
The Slip - Firewater •
Hidden Orchestra - Flight •
Meshuggah - Straws Pulled at Random • • •
Drawings:
www.instagram.com/apriccot.art •
Twitch:
www.twitch.tv/apricccot •
YouTube:
www.youtube.com/apriccot •
Published: May 14, 2019 (2019-05-14) •
Software: Adobe Audition • •
www.apricotjamspodcast.com
© 2019 Apricot Jams. All rights reserved.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Zareh (00:04):
There really is no such thing as talent, it doesn't
(00:47):
exist.
People like to use that word todescribe other people who are
good at stuff.
But there is a problem with thatword because it also kind of
implies that they were born withit, but they weren't.
People aren't born with skill,they're born into a set of
circumstances that allow forcertain things to happen.
I was born with a weird name,funny looking face and below
average height so while everyoneelse was being cool hanging out
and socializing, I was sittingaround drawing, that's not
talent.
That's a curse that I've figuredout how to use to my advantage.
I just got back from the grocerystore and I saw this little
girl, and she must have beenabout four years old, with the
most incredible uni-brow.
(01:08):
It wasn't even like a patch...
it was one eyebrow.
My heart was broken.
I was so sad for this girl, andof course my ignorant ass gut
instinct was like,"What kind ofmother would do this to their
child?" but then once my brainstarted warming up and rational
(01:29):
thought started flowing throughand I was like, hold on a
second.
First off, the only people thatare going to be mean to this
cute little girl are otherlittle girls and fuck grade
school for that one littlequality.
Really though, if this girl cansurvive this, and it doesn't
break her spirit, she's going tocome out the other end as one of
(01:53):
the dopest chicks ever causeit'll balance her out.
She will be grounded and down toearth because what makes someone
a weird is being pretty for toolong.
Thinking that the whole world isnice when it's not...
And no amount of plastic surgerycan fix that.
(02:19):
My daughter just turned one andshe is already way cooler than
I've ever been my entire fuckinglife.
I put on jazz and she sits therewith her finger on her chin
nodding her head like"Oh yeah,yeah.
I'm appreciating the Tambour ofthe Baritone Sax." Get outta
(02:41):
here dude.
Stop posing.
But seeing this, it puts thisthing in me where that is like,
I know I have to Goldilocks theshit out of this kid as far as
protection goes.
You don't want to do too muchand you don't want to do too
little.
It's gotta be just right.
Too much protection in the kidis useless.
(03:04):
They fucking need you foreverything.
Too little and they will killthemselves by something falling
on their head.
So yeah, I got to keep it in themiddle, but it's scary, man.
I don't know what I'm doing.
It's my first time and I don'tknow where to draw the lines,
but that's the challenge.
Figuring out where the fuck todraw them.
(03:30):
The latest life hack, thanks totechnology, is the soft goodbye.
You're done typing or you getbusy all of a sudden, all you
gotta do is"like" the lastmessage.
It's a simple and easy way tosay that, hey, I'm busy.
Good bye...
for now.
(03:58):
In all honesty, I really, reallywish I could cry.
I've tried, but it just doesn'thappen.
I think I'm physicallyincapable.
The same way that laughter is ahuge release, so is crying.
So I wish I could do it.
It's a great way to heal weirdmental things that are going on.
But the only times I ever end upcrying is when I'm watching
(04:19):
fucking movies, lightly roasted.
It's almost like it's a giftgiven to the feminine, to the,
you know, life-giving woman.
The mother earth is a mother toothough.
Earth is feminine.
Earth creates tons of life.
That's why they call her that,and she has the ability to cry
(04:44):
as well.
She just cries in crazy assways.
She releases that energy throughthe volcanoes, tornados,
hurricanes, all sorts of nuttyshit.
The only thing we release as menis*splooj noise* is fucking
jizzms.
You know, we're just fuckingsperm sacks.
We don't create anything, theydo.
Maybe that's why they've beenbestowed with the magical power
(05:06):
of tears.
For like 99% of people.
There's always somebody that'sgoing to be better off than you
and somebody worse off than you,and you know what?
Some people think that sucks,but it's actually great.
You're chilling in the middleman.
The extremes aren't good.
(05:28):
If there is nobody better offthan you, then you're just way
too fucking rich and that shit'sweird.
It's isolating.
You're lonely.
You can't relate to anybody, andthat's a cliff on one side
you're trying to jump off of andif you're on the opposite end of
the spectrum and there's nobodyworse off than you, that sucks
too.
I mean that's just thedefinition of life sucking and
(05:49):
there's a cliff there too.
You just want to be in themiddle of man.
There's nothing wrong withmediocrity.
The middle's great, tons ofpeople who are just like you
average.
It's a lot harder to be lonelyin that situation and a lot
fewer cliffs in sight.
(06:10):
When you call somebody down toearth or grounded, there's a
reason why they say that.
It's because you've got gottahave a balance of experiences to
help you keep your feet on theground.
If everything is always positiveand good all the time, you start
to get your head in the cloudsand have a distorted perception
of reality.
You're not down to earth, you'rein the fucking sky, my friend.
(06:32):
It's negative experiences thatkeep our feet on the ground, and
keep us level headed.
If things are too negative,obviously you're fucking buried
in the ground and aint movingnowhere.
You got to have a healthybalance of both, you know, so
you can just keep walking andwork with gravity because those
(06:53):
wings are not always goodthings.
People always want to know thesecret to doing things.
The key, the shortcut,basically.
(07:16):
I don't know.
I don't know what that is.
I don't think anyone reallyknows, but I know what it's not.
Now what it's not isoverthinking and stressing out.
I mean, look at anybody who'sreally good at what they're
doing.
They are somehow call instressful situations.
(07:37):
Look at professional basketballplayers.
Kobe.
Somehow the game's on the line,on his shoulders and he looks
like he's calm.
That doesn't make any sense.
Musicians on stage in front ofthousands of people looks like
they're not even trying, andwhat they're doing sounds
amazing.
Counter intuitive.
Doesn't make sense.
How can you be relaxed when youshould be stressed.
(08:01):
Well, as cheesy and obvious asit sounds, its practice.
You do something enough, you getsick of it, right?
Too many times and you're like,I don't want to do this shit
anymore.
It's boring.
It doesn't make you feelanything.
Well, that lack of emotion canbe used as a weapon.
It calms the nerves.
(08:22):
If you do it enough times, youknow it like the back of your
hand, it's easy.
And I would argue that that'skind of the secret.
Obviously everyone knows thatit's practice, but at the same
time it's not the secret becausenobody wants to practice.
Nobody wants to put the work into get the job done, and that's
(08:43):
all it really comes down to.
There's no secrets.
There's no shortcut, and ascounterintuitive as it sounds as
well, not giving a fuck is howyou win.
It's by practicing so much thatwhen you're doing the thing, you
feel nothing.
(09:04):
By practicing so much that youcan genuinely and honestly not
give any fucks while performingat the highest level.
Maybe that's what it is.
That's definitely the secret,but there's no shortcut that
everyone wishes there would be.
It's just hard work bitches.
(09:24):
So get off your lazy ass.
Man, before we had kids, my wifeand I talked about how many we
wanted and I was like, let'shave 10.
That way, at least one will beawesome.
Well, we had a kid and she's thebest, so now I'm fucked.
(10:04):
Just about everything in ourlives is handed down this
delicate balance.
Being in the middle where it'snice and not on the extremes
where it sucks.
I mean, look at us.
We live on the surface of theearth.
Underneath it's molten lava.
Out in space, there is no airand it's a bunch of meteors and
(10:30):
shit flying around.
We gotta be here where it's niceand even here there are places
where it's better and where it'sworse, where the climate's
nicer, and where the climatesucks.
Even in our own minds and ourown stomachs and our actions and
(10:51):
our words, there's always amiddle of balance and then two
extremes.
I've been thinking a lot latelyabout that and about how
everything as we know it aboutearth can just completely go
away.
If some crazy shit happens, likea super volcano or comet, that
(11:15):
delicate balance that we needwill be gone instantly and
everything will be dead.
Honestly, the greatest blessingis to wake up with air into your
lungs in a climate that's nottoo uncomfortable.
There isn't anything better thanthat, yet, it's one of the
(11:35):
things that just about everyone,every day, takes for granted.
Thank you so much for listening.
This episode was brought to youby the Swedish heavy metal band
Meshuggah.
This song is playing right now,one of their many songs of
(11:56):
course.
And this band has had an insaneimpact on me creatively
throughout my entire life.
During the darkest moments of mylife.
I listened to their music andplayed the drums, learned how to
play a bunch of their songs andit snapped me out of so many
funks that I was in.
I have nothing but thanks tothem and without them, none of
(12:16):
this that I'm doing would bepossible, so a huge thank you to
those guys.
Anyway, you can find my artworkon Instagram at Apricot Jams.
I also stream on twitch and I'mfinally getting my youtube
channel back in order so you cancheck that out soon too.
Woo.
I cannot believe we're almostdone with season four guys.
This is crazy, but I'm veryexcited to see what the future
(12:38):
holds.
See you guys later.
There really is no such thing as talent, it doesn't
(00:47):
exist.
People like to use that word todescribe other people who are
good at stuff.
But there is a problem with thatword because it also kind of
implies that they were born withit, but they weren't.
People aren't born with skill,they're born into a set of
circumstances that allow forcertain things to happen.
I was born with a weird name,funny looking face and below
average height so while everyoneelse was being cool hanging out
and socializing, I was sittingaround drawing, that's not
talent.
That's a curse that I've figuredout how to use to my advantage.
I just got back from the grocerystore and I saw this little
girl, and she must have beenabout four years old, with the
most incredible uni-brow.
(01:08):
It wasn't even like a patch...
it was one eyebrow.
My heart was broken.
I was so sad for this girl, andof course my ignorant ass gut
instinct was like,"What kind ofmother would do this to their
child?" but then once my brainstarted warming up and rational
(01:29):
thought started flowing throughand I was like, hold on a
second.
First off, the only people thatare going to be mean to this
cute little girl are otherlittle girls and fuck grade
school for that one littlequality.
Really though, if this girl cansurvive this, and it doesn't
break her spirit, she's going tocome out the other end as one of
(01:53):
the dopest chicks ever causeit'll balance her out.
She will be grounded and down toearth because what makes someone
a weird is being pretty for toolong.
Thinking that the whole world isnice when it's not...
And no amount of plastic surgerycan fix that.
(02:19):
My daughter just turned one andshe is already way cooler than
I've ever been my entire fuckinglife.
I put on jazz and she sits therewith her finger on her chin
nodding her head like"Oh yeah,yeah.
I'm appreciating the Tambour ofthe Baritone Sax." Get outta
(02:41):
here dude.
Stop posing.
But seeing this, it puts thisthing in me where that is like,
I know I have to Goldilocks theshit out of this kid as far as
protection goes.
You don't want to do too muchand you don't want to do too
little.
It's gotta be just right.
Too much protection in the kidis useless.
(03:04):
They fucking need you foreverything.
Too little and they will killthemselves by something falling
on their head.
So yeah, I got to keep it in themiddle, but it's scary, man.
I don't know what I'm doing.
It's my first time and I don'tknow where to draw the lines,
but that's the challenge.
Figuring out where the fuck todraw them.
(03:30):
The latest life hack, thanks totechnology, is the soft goodbye.
You're done typing or you getbusy all of a sudden, all you
gotta do is"like" the lastmessage.
It's a simple and easy way tosay that, hey, I'm busy.
Good bye...
for now.
(03:58):
In all honesty, I really, reallywish I could cry.
I've tried, but it just doesn'thappen.
I think I'm physicallyincapable.
The same way that laughter is ahuge release, so is crying.
So I wish I could do it.
It's a great way to heal weirdmental things that are going on.
But the only times I ever end upcrying is when I'm watching
(04:19):
fucking movies, lightly roasted.
It's almost like it's a giftgiven to the feminine, to the,
you know, life-giving woman.
The mother earth is a mother toothough.
Earth is feminine.
Earth creates tons of life.
That's why they call her that,and she has the ability to cry
(04:44):
as well.
She just cries in crazy assways.
She releases that energy throughthe volcanoes, tornados,
hurricanes, all sorts of nuttyshit.
The only thing we release as menis*splooj noise* is fucking
jizzms.
You know, we're just fuckingsperm sacks.
We don't create anything, theydo.
Maybe that's why they've beenbestowed with the magical power
(05:06):
of tears.
For like 99% of people.
There's always somebody that'sgoing to be better off than you
and somebody worse off than you,and you know what?
Some people think that sucks,but it's actually great.
You're chilling in the middleman.
The extremes aren't good.
(05:28):
If there is nobody better offthan you, then you're just way
too fucking rich and that shit'sweird.
It's isolating.
You're lonely.
You can't relate to anybody, andthat's a cliff on one side
you're trying to jump off of andif you're on the opposite end of
the spectrum and there's nobodyworse off than you, that sucks
too.
I mean that's just thedefinition of life sucking and
(05:49):
there's a cliff there too.
You just want to be in themiddle of man.
There's nothing wrong withmediocrity.
The middle's great, tons ofpeople who are just like you
average.
It's a lot harder to be lonelyin that situation and a lot
fewer cliffs in sight.
(06:10):
When you call somebody down toearth or grounded, there's a
reason why they say that.
It's because you've got gottahave a balance of experiences to
help you keep your feet on theground.
If everything is always positiveand good all the time, you start
to get your head in the cloudsand have a distorted perception
of reality.
You're not down to earth, you'rein the fucking sky, my friend.
(06:32):
It's negative experiences thatkeep our feet on the ground, and
keep us level headed.
If things are too negative,obviously you're fucking buried
in the ground and aint movingnowhere.
You got to have a healthybalance of both, you know, so
you can just keep walking andwork with gravity because those
(06:53):
wings are not always goodthings.
People always want to know thesecret to doing things.
The key, the shortcut,basically.
(07:16):
I don't know.
I don't know what that is.
I don't think anyone reallyknows, but I know what it's not.
Now what it's not isoverthinking and stressing out.
I mean, look at anybody who'sreally good at what they're
doing.
They are somehow call instressful situations.
(07:37):
Look at professional basketballplayers.
Kobe.
Somehow the game's on the line,on his shoulders and he looks
like he's calm.
That doesn't make any sense.
Musicians on stage in front ofthousands of people looks like
they're not even trying, andwhat they're doing sounds
amazing.
Counter intuitive.
Doesn't make sense.
How can you be relaxed when youshould be stressed.
(08:01):
Well, as cheesy and obvious asit sounds, its practice.
You do something enough, you getsick of it, right?
Too many times and you're like,I don't want to do this shit
anymore.
It's boring.
It doesn't make you feelanything.
Well, that lack of emotion canbe used as a weapon.
It calms the nerves.
(08:22):
If you do it enough times, youknow it like the back of your
hand, it's easy.
And I would argue that that'skind of the secret.
Obviously everyone knows thatit's practice, but at the same
time it's not the secret becausenobody wants to practice.
Nobody wants to put the work into get the job done, and that's
(08:43):
all it really comes down to.
There's no secrets.
There's no shortcut, and ascounterintuitive as it sounds as
well, not giving a fuck is howyou win.
It's by practicing so much thatwhen you're doing the thing, you
feel nothing.
(09:04):
By practicing so much that youcan genuinely and honestly not
give any fucks while performingat the highest level.
Maybe that's what it is.
That's definitely the secret,but there's no shortcut that
everyone wishes there would be.
It's just hard work bitches.
(09:24):
So get off your lazy ass.
Man, before we had kids, my wifeand I talked about how many we
wanted and I was like, let'shave 10.
That way, at least one will beawesome.
Well, we had a kid and she's thebest, so now I'm fucked.
(10:04):
Just about everything in ourlives is handed down this
delicate balance.
Being in the middle where it'snice and not on the extremes
where it sucks.
I mean, look at us.
We live on the surface of theearth.
Underneath it's molten lava.
Out in space, there is no airand it's a bunch of meteors and
(10:30):
shit flying around.
We gotta be here where it's niceand even here there are places
where it's better and where it'sworse, where the climate's
nicer, and where the climatesucks.
Even in our own minds and ourown stomachs and our actions and
(10:51):
our words, there's always amiddle of balance and then two
extremes.
I've been thinking a lot latelyabout that and about how
everything as we know it aboutearth can just completely go
away.
If some crazy shit happens, likea super volcano or comet, that
(11:15):
delicate balance that we needwill be gone instantly and
everything will be dead.
Honestly, the greatest blessingis to wake up with air into your
lungs in a climate that's nottoo uncomfortable.
There isn't anything better thanthat, yet, it's one of the
(11:35):
things that just about everyone,every day, takes for granted.
Thank you so much for listening.
This episode was brought to youby the Swedish heavy metal band
Meshuggah.
This song is playing right now,one of their many songs of
(11:56):
course.
And this band has had an insaneimpact on me creatively
throughout my entire life.
During the darkest moments of mylife.
I listened to their music andplayed the drums, learned how to
play a bunch of their songs andit snapped me out of so many
funks that I was in.
I have nothing but thanks tothem and without them, none of
(12:16):
this that I'm doing would bepossible, so a huge thank you to
those guys.
Anyway, you can find my artworkon Instagram at Apricot Jams.
I also stream on twitch and I'mfinally getting my youtube
channel back in order so you cancheck that out soon too.
Woo.
I cannot believe we're almostdone with season four guys.
This is crazy, but I'm veryexcited to see what the future
(12:38):
holds.
See you guys later.
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