Autism Social Anxiety SUCKS! (Here’s Why)

Do you ever feel anxious, awkward, or completely drained in social situations? You’re not alone. Social anxiety is incredibly common among autistic people — but most advice out there doesn’t actually work for autistic brains.

In this episode of The Aspie World Podcast, I break down why social anxiety affects autistic adults differently, what’s really going on beneath the surface, and practical strategies to help you navigate social situations without feeling overwhelmed.

• Why autistic social anxiety is different from general anxiety

• The link between masking, rejection sensitivity, and feeling “different”

• How sensory overload can trigger anxiety in social settings

• Tips to manage conversations, group dynamics, and unexpected changes

• Simple techniques to boost your confidence and protect your energy

This isn’t about forcing yourself to be “more social.” It’s about understanding your autistic needs and creating a plan that works for you — so you can connect without the chaos.

• Autistic adults who struggle with social anxiety

• Parents supporting autistic kids or teens who find socialising stressful

• Teachers, therapists, and carers wanting to better understand autistic social challenges

• Anyone curious about why socialising feels harder for autistic people

If you’ve ever left a social event exhausted, frustrated, or embarrassed, this episode will give you clarity, tools, and reassurance that you’re not broken — your brain just works differently.

🎁 FREE Download: Get your Autistic Adult Bulletproof Brain Starter Kit and learn science-backed strategies to manage social anxiety, reduce overwhelm, and build unstoppable confidence → www.bulletproofbrain.org

If this episode helped you, please:
✅ Subscribe to The Aspie World Podcast so you never miss an episode
✅ Leave a review — your feedback helps us reach and support more autistic adults and families
✅ Share this episode with friends, family, or anyone who struggles with autistic social anxiety

Together, we can create a world where autistic people feel safe, understood, and confident. 💙

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Who This Episode Is For:Resources & Support for Autistic AdultsLet’s Stay Connected

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hey guys, what's going on? So here's a video about how
social anxiety kicks my butt. So I was kind of basically at my
desk working as I do. I'm working on my autism
courses, which is super cool. So and that's out super soon.
So if you're interested in some of the new amazing things I'm
doing, drop me an e-mail. So I'm sitting there and I get
this like text message through e-mail.
So it's like a ring from YouTube, and YouTube is

(00:23):
basically saying, hey, we want you to come to this Labor
conference event in Liverpool, be an ambassador for us and do
this, you know, whole YouTube thing and shake hands and stuff.
And I was like, okay, look, I haven't been to an event since
the lockdowns happened in 2020 and 2021.
Kind of like a bit overwhelming for me.
And so this kind of gives me social anxiety, right?
So the first thing I need to do was really figure out like, I'm

(00:45):
not going to be able to go into this alone.
So I texted my friend Ian. I was like, Ian, dude, you got
to come with me. Like it's going to be super
awesome because I know he's, he likes labour and stuff.
So it's kind of like good for him, but it would also be good
for me because he could come as support.
And so then I could feel a little less anxious or at least
lower the social anxiety to thatexperience at that time.
So it was actually on a Sunday. And so me and Ian set off pretty

(01:05):
early because another thing is that you get all this kind of
Sunday traffic on a Sunday when people kind of commuting home.
And that gives me a lot of anxiety because I want to arrive
on time. I don't want to be the
Youtubers, although like being late to things and stuff like
that. So we get in Ian's van, we drive
and as we're driving, we hit traffic, we hit a traffic jam
and we're like, oh, shoot. So then we have to go like a
different way. And as we go the different way,

(01:26):
we're adding time to our journey.
We re estimate the SAT NAV and the SAT NAV says that we're
going to be there dead on doors opening.
Now this gives me super bad anxiety because I don't want to
be arriving there as the doors open because I'm not going to be
there when the doors open. I'm going to be arriving in the
car park and then I'm going to get to the venue.
The whole faff. When you arrive late to things,
there's like a big faff or a fuss about you because you've

(01:47):
got that late and stuff like that.
Again, the same thing. So anxious.
I was like, Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, we're going to.
Needless to say, we were trying to make some good time and we
just had to bite the bullet there.
But I was feeling horribly anxious because it was the first
event I hadn't been anywhere. It's horrible, isn't it?
Like, anxiety starts creeping upon you and it's like this, like
weeds and vines growing and they're kind of going for your
neck. And you're like, So as we get
closer to the actual event building, I realize that I only

(02:08):
have the address for the event. I didn't actually have an
address for any parking. And usually big events like
venues in cities, they're not usually, you know, surrounded by
car parks and all this stuff. So I was like, oh, goodness.
So I was like, oh, Dang it. I had to then call my buddy who
was a local from the area to find out where I would park.
Like what's his recommendations for parking?

(02:29):
And so he gave us your recommendations.
I did like a quicker Google as well because if I can Google
ahead of time helps lower a lot of my anxieties.
And so I Googled it and we foundsome packing again, such anxiety
creeping up for me thinking likepacking going on.
Like if I can't find packing foran event, I'd freak out.
It's absolutely crazy. So as we get closer to the
event, I realized I have to takemy medication, right?
Because I take my medication at 8:00 PM every night.

(02:51):
But this event was running from 6:30 in the evening until 10:30
in the evening. So it would be right smacked
bang in the middle of this eventwhen he took my medication.
So I was like, Dang it. So I brought my medication with
me so I could take it, but the only thing I didn't have was
water or anything to take the medication with right, But I
didn't drink water anyway. So I was like, look in my head,
as soon as I get in there, I canget some water, I can take my

(03:11):
medication and it's going to be absolutely fine.
And I can just get on and enjoy the event as it is.
OK, So we walk into this event and holy smokes, guys.
Like I, I kid you not, like there was like a bazillion
people there. And I looked where the bar was
where everyone was getting drinks and water and stuff.
And it was about 50 people deep in this line.
I was like, so I'm starting to freak out thinking I'm not going

(03:32):
to say eradication. Whole thing's going to be
ruined. I kind of like a panic attack or
like a meltdown in the middle ofthe event and everyone's going
to like laugh at me and there's going to be a whole thing.
And you don't want to be that guy that draws attention to
yourself, right? You ought to be the person who's
there to do the things that you've been asked to go there
and do shake hands and, you know, be a YouTube and all that
kind of stuff. Just at my most like horrible
crisis moment, the YouTube partner manager, Stella, she

(03:56):
steps in to save the day. Stella's like, hey, what up,
Dan? I was like, oh, Stella, she's
like, do you need a drink? I'm like, yeah, I'd love some
water. And like, as if I'm magic, she
disappears, come back with some water and then I'm able to take
my medication. OK, so now we're on locating.
So me and Ian there in this event, there's a bunch of
different stuff going on. There's like people speaking on
the stage, people like city calm, who's like the Mayor of
London. But if you guys know who that is
and there's other bits and pieces going on.

(04:17):
And then there was a talk from Alice Lomax, who is the managing
director of YouTube in the UK. And my goal was to kind of
discuss autism and mental healthand that kind of stuff with
Alice. Because I think that YouTube
have such a big hold on helping people with things like, you
know, talking about mental health and social anxiety and
all those kind of things. So I wanted to speak to Alice,

(04:37):
which is kind of cool. And to my surprise, actually,
she came over and I was introduced through Stella and
Alice actually watched my videos.
So she was aware of me and awareof my work, which is kind of
dope. I was kind of taken aback by
this, but it was really cool. She was a lovely woman and I
think we're definitely going to do some work in the end
together. So my anxiety at this point was
kind of relatively, you know, kept on track because I wasn't

(04:58):
overly anxious because I was getting the tasks and the goals
that I needed to get done at that moment in time.
And I take my medication. So it was kind of a good world
for me. So now I've shaken the hands of
people that I wanted to meet and, you know, talk to.
I'd shaken hands and met some really cool Youtubers who were
like in the health niche, which is pretty awesome since I'm in
the health niche as well. And it was just a really good
day. Oh, I also bumped into a guy

(05:19):
called Ed Miliband who used to be the leader of the Labour
Party, but he's quite a nice bloke.
So I took a selfie with him, which I'll insert here, and me
and Ed spoke for a little while because one of the constituents
was autism. We discussed my book and stuff
like that. And FYI, guys, if you didn't
know, my book, Autism for Adultsis out right now and you can get
it from autismforadults.com. As the crowd started to kind of

(05:39):
like dissipate around about, I don't know, 8:30 nine o'clock at
night, meaning it felt like it was our time to go because the
crowds had thinned out when we were able to go.
But before we went, one of the most interesting things
happened. I actually stumbled across a
woman and her partner who createthese like little key chain
opener gadgets. It's for people with bad fine
motors, girls like myself and you know, key chains.

(06:01):
You have to like use your nails to open up that little kind of
like metal disk thing and then you have to slide on the key.
Well, it's always difficult, right?
But this little gadget helps it.So I'm going to leave a link for
them down in the description down below so you can definitely
check them out. Pretty amazing.
Anyway, this is a really cool product and I was like, wow,
like, you know, you just bump into some amazing people here.
So when you come across benefitslike that, your anxiety kind of
dissipates. And I feel like it's an exchange

(06:23):
of good experiences versus anxiety.
The more good experiences you can pack into an experience,
then the less anxiety you will experience.
I said experience will watch us then I feel so much elation from
actually having to go do an event, overcome anxiety and
really try and kick some mental health issues in the butt.
You know, like taking control ofthe fact that like I haven't
been to a proper event since, you know, the lockdowns and

(06:45):
stuff. So to me this was triumphant and
it's kind of given me this like fires have it to do more of it.
So guys, if you also suffer frommental health issues, I highly
recommend using better help. It's an online therapy for
counseling and other types of stuff.
So you can go on there within 24hours.
Find somebody who's specific in like ADHD or autism who can give
you therapy over the tablet or your computer or your phone.

(07:06):
Super awesome. The link is down below and if
you use that link, it just help me out a little bit.
If you have fun and think this video is interesting, please
share it guys. I'll see you in the next one
piece.