The podcast for grown-ass adults who still really love Barbie™ movies for some reason, where we discuss and rate every animated Barbie™ film that's ever existed, hosted by known Barbie™ enthusiast Tommy Kearley and self-described Barbie™ expert Rowan Quinn.


March 1, 2019 105 mins
What's cookin' good lookin'? We're back and kicking off with Barbie and the Island Princess (2007)! This episode has as discussing topics such as: the sisterhood of the travelling barnyard, parallels between stalkers and animal sidekicks, and how Mattel probably doesn't know what an elephant looks like. ITUNES: SOUNDCLOUD: @barbietopia STITCHER:…ency/barbiet...
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Hey! Get in the car! This is 'Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses' (2006)! We got shit to say and questions to ask, like: Was their mum a witch? How bad is Rowena really? And can we go one fucking episode without making movies aimed at five-year-olds political? ITUNES: SOUNDCLOUD: STITCHER: TUMBLR: barb...
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April 5, 2018 112 mins
Coming at you this week is 'Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus' (2005) as we wonder: What's the difference between a horse and a car (are they truly one and the same)? Have we finally got a magic system with some semblance of structure? And why are giants not portrayed as the intellectuals they, atomically speaking, should be? ITUNES: SOUNDCLOUD: STITCHER: https://www...
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March 15, 2018 94 mins
This week we cover 'Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow' (2007) and discuss: Why does Dandelion even exist in this franchise? What if the puffballs were forced to take over the first blush of spring? AND HAS ELINA HAD MAGIC THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME?! ITUNES: SOUNDCLOUD: STITCHER: TUMBLR: barbietopiapodcast.tum...
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February 22, 2018 64 mins
This week we discuss 'Barbie: Mermaidia' (2006) and ponder: Is Fairytopia a dictatorship? How many prophetesses do you need in one damn movie? And was the Depths of Despair more of a vore thing, or a tentacle thing? (NOTE: sorry for the lateness, the audio is a little shithouse cus I was working off a funky backup) ITUNES: SOUNDCLOUD: @barbietopia STITCHER: TUMBLR:...
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February 8, 2018 62 mins
In this episode we discuss 'Barbie: Fairytopia' (2005) and ask: Is Hugh ex-military? Is Bibble a satanic force? Does fairy society lob off wings as punishment? And is this shitshow just slowly becoming a Power Rangers podcast? ITUNES: SOUNDCLOUD: @barbietopia STITCHER: TUMBLR: TWITTER: (The next episode will...
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January 25, 2018 73 mins
In this episode we take a look at 'Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper' (2004) and wonder: How many PhD's do you really need to understand Barbie films? What's up with the disguises Prince Dominic? WHY CAN'T SMART VILLIANS just FUCKING HIRE SMART PEOPLE??? ITUNES: SOUNDCLOUD: STITCHER: TUMBLR: https://barbietopiap...
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January 11, 2018 75 mins
In our third installment, we tackle 'Barbie of Swan Lake' (2003) and some good significant questions such as: why is Lila so fuckin' savage? Does the Fairy Queen have any magic that isn't fashion related? And is our beloved Barbie, truely, honestly, a fucking furry? SOUNDCLOUD: STITCHER: TUMBLR: TWITTER: https://twitt...
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December 28, 2017 80 mins
This time we explore the strange stockholm syndrome of 'Barbie as Rapunzel' (2002), and ask crucial questions such as: how many secret passages is too many secret passages? Who the fuck thought the creepy ferret was a good idea? WHY IS GOTHEL SO WONDERFULLY VILLAINOUS!? TUMBLR: TWITTER: (The next episode will be out on the 11th of Jan, 2018...)
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December 21, 2017 85 mins
In this episode we cover the dubious cinematic masterpiece that is 'Barbie in the Nutcracker' (2001), and ask important questions such as: how does Eric's dick work? Why is Major Mint such a shitstain? IS AUNT DROSSELMEYER A LESBIAN!? TUMBLR: TWITTER:
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