July 17, 2017 • 47 mins
In this week's episode of Be Amplified: The Podcast, both Bri and Thais share their never before talked about challenges they've both been experiencing individually in their life + business. This is a must listen to episode! Check out the show notes at www.TheAmplifyCollective.com.
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You are listening to be Amplified thePodcast with Free Entice, episode fifty four.
Hey Amplifiers, welcome to be Amplifiedthe Podcast. My name is Tayis
and I'm Breeciily. We are theco founders of the Amplified Collective, a
movement aimed at radically disrupting how purposedriven women connect and operate in the world,
(00:22):
because we believe it's not just whatyou do, but who you are
that matters. Each week, joinus for messages and interviews that will leave
you feeling amplified and ready to changethe world. Let's do this. Happy
Monday, Amplifiers, brew a rawhe row. This is Tay Sky,
(00:48):
that is Breecily. We come toyou every week with amplified content on amplifying
or amplified life and all of theamplifiers and amplifiers and amplifying and amplified and
amplified. Yeah. So we're excitedabout this week's conversation. So that's something
that Bree had this idea for it, and I was like, damn it,
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No, I had a feeling thatyou'd be hesitate. No, I
was not hesitant. I'm excited aboutthis topic. It is a good one.
But before we get into that,as usual, quick announcements. One.
We are having our fantastic dinner partyin Los Angeles in just a few
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weeks time. We have an amazingface that we are using through Breather,
who is one of our new favoritecompanies, and we'll be having the event
catered and an amazing musical guest whois Los Angeles lovely lady, and all
sorts of stuff. It's going tobe great conversation and we want you to
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be at the table with us.Yeah. We love this private experience because
it's really curated and really delicious andthere's no rush to get to know one
another and have intimate conversations and reallymeet other fabulous, driven, ambitious,
lovely ladies of LA. So yeah, so that's happening. So we would
(02:21):
love to see you there. Andthat's it you can get You can find
out one more information and to getyour tickets at be Nope, sorry wrong
website. You can get tickets atthe Amplified Collective dot com. There is
an event tab. If you clickon it, all the information is there.
It will take you directly to eventright and you can come rub elbows
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with us and get a hug inreal life. Uh yeay, yeah,
yeah, yeay. All right,let's get into it. Okay. Let's
so some of you may have noticed, especially those of you that listen to
our extended cuts with our guests,that we've been asking a question lately that
Tys came up with. And Idon't even remember how you came up.
(03:04):
I'm just an excellent question maker,it is true. So she has started
asking our guests this question and it'sbeen We've gotten some really great responses.
And the thing I love about thisquestion is that it gets real because you
know, Tyson, I talk allthe time about these Instagram perfect lives and
the facebooks and the things and howgreat everything looks all the time, and
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all of us are struggling with something. We're facing challenges, like all of
us are, no matter what,no matter how great our lives look,
and how many you know Instagram latteswe post like we're all struggling and with
some sort of selling and caffeinated it'simportant extra I actually here, here's a
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hypothesis. The more caffeine and lattephotos that people post on their thing,
the more they're struggling with life.Because there's maybe possibly there's a direct corelation
between the amount of caffeine you intakeand how much stress you're currently facing.
What do you think. I loveit. I think that's an excellent thesis.
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Should we test that, we shouldwrite a dissertation on it. Yeah,
so let's talk about our challenges.We're gonna get ron real. I
mean, we're always ron real,but we're gonna get even roller and realer
in the conversation of challenges, andwe're both going to share what challenges we're
happening in our lives. And Ithink it's really really important too that when
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we have this conversation, I knowthat it's very easy as kind of spiritual
inspirational leaders to try to convert ourchallenges into opportunities or like sugarcoat it right,
like it's I'm not actually facing achallenge because my entire incarnation is heavenly
and I just go with the flowand everything's fine. It's like bullshit,
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let's be real, let's be realwith each other. Yes, and like
yes, that's true. Yes,we're all spiritual beings and none of the
stuff is real. That's great.And in the moment when your father dies
and you're staring at him in theface as his soul leaves the body.
I'm sure that you're real that realexperience that you're having needs to be honored.
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Yeah. I talk about this alot, that there's like this this
spectrum from one end to the otherof like our spirit and our humanness,
because we are both in every moment, we are both, and a lot
of times we exist in either oneor the other. And if we're existing
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heavy in the spirit side of things, we're doing it to not deny,
but kind of avoid the aspect ofthings because seeking human fucking sex. Yeah.
And then if we're too human,obviously we're denying the other end of
the spectrum as well. And soit's that nice, juicy middle spot like
Tys was talking about. Yes,we are spiritual beings. Yes everything is
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always in divine perfection, and thatyou're allowed. Yeah, that our humanity
can't experience the humanness of our lives. Yeah. Yeah. And one thing
too, I want to add beforewe get into our actual challenges is that
it's very hard for us to hearpeople share their challenges. When we hear
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someone in pain, or someone indespair, or someone you know sharing their
heart with us, it's very easyfor us to want to tell them what
to do, or tell them usnot a big deal, or try to
make it, you know, tryto ease their pain or ease their burden
by taking some on, right,by making it be about us by giving
them advice. Really, that's whatwe're doing when we give people advice,
is we're making it be about us. And what you're doing in those moments
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is you're actually robbing that person oftheir ability to be with their stuff and
to allow all that stuff too,to do its work, whatever that work
is supposed to be. Um.So, when you're in the space where
someone is vulnerably sharing their truth,their real experience, here's what not to
do. Do not tell them tolet it go, forgive and forget.
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It's all good, it's not abig deal. Yeah, how much do
we hate hearing that? If youwere easy to just let it go,
we'd all be letting going. Um. But but also, you know,
don't give them advice, and donot give them advice. No one,
no one needs your advice because rightright, like when I give let's say,
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if I were to give you advice, if you will, I tell
you, I don't know what todo about this. And you don't ask
advice. That's a that's there's adifference. See. But here's the problem
though, I called Tais for advice, and she's like, oh, I
totally am holding space for you,and I'm like, no, fucking fix
it. Okay. So yeah,so that's that's the consent right there.
But let's say break comes toity shedoesn't want my advice, she didn't ask
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for it. What happens when Istart giving her advice is I'm essentially saying
I know what's best in your life, like I have some sort of authority
of your life, and so here, let me tell you how you should
handle it. Let me tell youhow you should navigate it. And it's
so much easier when we're not inthis ship, right, it's so much
easier when we're not the ones beingcheated on or whatever else to then tell
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you to just like or whatever.And so that's really depriving of the person
of their experience. So unless theyask for rice, if they ask,
that's a different matter of course.But yeah, so when someone shares their
challenges, just see if you canreally hold space for their pain and sort
of trying to fix it. Andthen oftentimes too. And I think Tyson
I've mentioned this before, is thatwe usually go into that advice giving mode
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because we are uncomfortable what the personis feeling, and so we don't want
to have to sit in the discomfortthat is arising within us experiencing their pain,
and so we try to fix itfor them so that we don't have
to feel the discomfort. So whenyou know, when people are sharing challenges
with you, notice that discomfort,Notice of your propensity to want to jump
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in and fix it for them,Notice what's coming up within you, because
that's what you need to deal with. It's noting it for the other person.
It's being like, wow, whyis this making me uncomfortable? Because
this situation isn't mine. So justI love it. I think that's yes.
I'm glad that you said that,because that's absolutely what's going on.
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You know, when we have ahard time holding on to our pain,
it's very hard to hold onto thepain of other people. And I get
it. No one likes to feeldistraught or resentful or stress or whatever else
overwhelmed. And that's why, youknow, there's so much of the coaching
world that are people just trying tofix other people. It's an energy that
you know, you buy in asthe let's say, the victim, and
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then the perpetrator also buys in.So it's a it's a it both have
to consent to this unconscious which isI don't know what I'm doing in my
life. Here, let me tellyou what you need to do in your
life. You know, sign upfor the five Hacks of how to make
your house cleaner, and it's like, oh, because my house is an
ass. There's a difference between hiringan expert or you know, looking to
someone to support you in your life, and there's another expecting somebody else to
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fix your life. And I thinkthat line is very blurred, and too
many of us we really want someoneto fix our lives, especially when we
go to like the psychics, thewhat is it, the clairvoyant and all
the claires and they can see andhere all the futures. I just have
a clai voyant reading last week.See see. It's so there's a part
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that's like genuine, and then there'sa part that's like, please just tell
me, tell me I'm going tobe a billionaire, you know, yeah,
And then they don't tell you that, and then it's devastating. So
let's get into it. So yousometimes, sorry, being human is hard.
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Okay, it's hard. Do youwant to go first or do you
want me to go first? Doesn'tmatter. I don't paper scissord. No,
maybe we should have write paper scissors. Well, people can't see us.
We are on video, but theycan't see us. We'll do it
anyway. We'll tell them what weget. Okay, ready, one papers
the shit? Oh, I says, there's cuts your paper, so you
I will, so, miss Tish. What what is the current challenge or
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struggle that you're facing in your liferight now? Okay, okay, um,
I mean this is legit. Thisis something I've been really really struggling
with and um operating and trying tofigure out. So um, let me
back it up and share um.The traditional learning curve, I think for
all of us, and I canreally I really remember it being my truth
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when I was teaching yoga or Iguess I still teach yoga, but when
I was really learning, I wasin the beginning phases of teaching yogays.
You know, first year a student, so you get on the mat and
you don't know what you don't knowwhat's right or wrong. You don't know
what's bad or not bad. Youdon't know what proper alignment is. So
you're like totally open to getting theinstruction of the teacher, and you're malleable
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and you're learning a lot, andyou're very thirsty to learn. So you're
like, yes, give me anatomy, you know, yes, tell me
what's up, and and you becomeso thirsty and either side that, you're
going to go into teach a training. So you're going to teach your training.
And then you get you become ayoga teacher. And when you go
into yoga classes, now it's likeyou're not teaching like someone else's teaching.
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It's very easy to get very hyperaware of what the teacher is doing.
And in your head you're like,oh, that teacher is doing it wrong.
Oh sh cute this wrong. Ohthat's not how I would have done
it. What no core in thisclass? Blah blah blah. Like you
know, you kind of can't helpbut like judge and be very opinionated in
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how that teacher is right or wrong. And it's very hard to turn this
off. And then you know,the more you go, the more you
get like embedded in your style ofyoga is like the better style, you
know, like I'm a power yogateacher that I mean them better than the
beacram and blah blah blah, andyou get very and if you're a nast
type of community, it just augmentsthe strength of like the way you're operating
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is better than everybody else's. Andafter a while, though, and this
has been what's true for me isI took a break from practicing yoga for
about two years because of my riskissues, but because I had such a
departure at least from the physical asinapractice, not like meditation or back to
yoga. But when I departed fromthe physical practice and then I came back,
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I just find that I really don'tgive a shit what the teacher is
doing because it really doesn't matter whatI get from my practice, Like it's
my practice, and I could goin a class of like the quote unquote
worst teacher and I'll get something reallygood out of it because it's now about
me and my experience and what Ifeel like in my body. And if
something the teacher says doesn't feel alignedwith what I want to do, then
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I don't do it. So Ijust taken complete ownership of just being in
my body, and that is Ithink the epitome of kind of being embodied
is it doesn't matter anymore. LikeI have my style of teaching and if
you love it, great, andif you don't, that's fine. But
I don't feel it as any betterany warriors really than anybody else. We're
all messily walking each other home,as I say, So you know,
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it's all good, It's all fine. So here's my challenge. My struggle
in December actually backup, backup inSeptember, October November, I was having
some major revelations and opening around mymother wound, and I was I didn't
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even I mean, I had challengeswith my mom and my childhood, but
I didn't really realize the depth ofthat pain until I touched it, and
so that forced me to do somereally radical healing and work around the mother
wound. So that was around thetime of the election, and also around
that time, I started feeling reallyjaded by the coaching industry. I was
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just feeling like there's just a lotof fakers out there that don't really know
what the fuck they're doing, andthey're making you know, all this money
really perpetuating all the shit in ourindustry, and I started feeling really terrible
about my participation in the industry andwhat I was doing. So all three
things kind of came together in Decemberfor me to have kind of this like
many awakening. All my awakenings fuckinghappened in December. Btw, It's the
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worst time to be awakened. Ijust want to like sip eggnog and watch
the Cracker, Like I don't wantto be fundering your sulto's. Yeah,
you know, this is my secondyear where I've had like a big moment
in December anyway, So I startedto really recognize the ways in which my
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privilege as a white woman was beingperpetuating in an industry that was really empowering.
Only when you know, just goinginto a whole social justice awakening and
realizing my power in that and myrole in that as I was stepping into
who I am because I was healingfrom my mother wound, as I was
awakening to what Trump was doing.So it all came together. It's real
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a clusterfucked moment. In January,when I was launching my second owner Spotlight
group program, and the launch wasnot going according to plan, and it
was devastating that things weren't aligning inthe way that I wanted them to align.
And then my dog ran away andgot hit by a car trying to
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find me out of my mother inlaw's house, and my mom came to
visit, and that whole trip feltso off because, you know, doing
all the mother wound healing, tryingto figure out what the new relationship is
between my mom and me. Seeso many challenges break, okay, so
many challenges. So so in January, I really took I really eradicated the
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entire calendar of my business. Youknow, Brie and I went to Palm
Springs in October and we created thisbeautiful business plan for my business, her
business and Amplifies business, and Icompletely eradicated my whole the whole plan because
nothing was feeling good. I wasn'tsure how to be who I am and
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that I was becoming in the industry. Anyway, Okay, fast forward,
So Brianna, I had a beautifullaunch of the Amplified Woman, and that
kind of helped carry me some momentumto really figure some stuff out. And
I'm coming to this point now whereI am more of who I am than
I've ever been. Like I've doneso much inner work and I'm starting to
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really see the repercus the manifestation ofthat. I'm feeling so good about who
I am the first time in mylife, like just so good about myself,
so good about what I'm learning,so good about how I am marketing
myself and being myself in the onlinespace, and I love my Now I'm
launching the third iteration of my ownerspot like group program, and I made
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some major renovations to it to reallyalign with my new knowledge. So everything
is like feeling really good, exceptfor just like in my yoga teacher training
thing, I've become so judgmental ofpeople who are now like who aren't who
don't get what I get around howto market themselves in a way that's not
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perpetuating their privilege and perpetuating their crap, And I'm getting very judgmental about it.
It's very hard for me to evenlike reconcile, like like being like
talk to them or being the sameroom or like have conversations because I'm like
so shifted from that. So thereason why I introduced a yoga story earliers,
because I know that there will thisis just a phase, and I
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will phase out and there will bea point where it's like, great,
you do you. You know,you do what you need to do,
and I'm gonna do me and I'mgonna feel really good in that. And
life goes on and everyone's messily walkingeach other home and there is no right
or wrong. I mean, youknow, we're all fucking human. So
but I don't want to, like, I don't want to lose people that
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I respect and I love and Itrust and I honor because they don't hold
the same perspective of how to bemarketing or how to be talking about the
business. I mean, and Iknow so many people in a coaching industry,
like we know so many entrepreneurs andso so that's been my challenge is
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like really seeing the human the messiness, and not not that I can't get
into a pedestal or because I amthere, but really checking myself and knowing
it and stepping back and knowing thatthis is a phase and this is not
the truth. Like what we talkedabout what was it last week about truths,
Like this is not the capital teatruth, This is just a momentary
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truth, and I can honor thattruth and I don't have to judge it
or label it because I know it'sgoing to pass, and I know it's
not going to be a thing forever. While doing my best to not unnecessarily
burn bridges or condescend condemn people forwho they are being, because that's not
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fair. Like I don't want tocondemn people for who they're being, because
I don't want them to condemn mefor who I'm being. Um So,
in the process, I've been learninga lot more about nuance and gentleness and
softness and um and and honoring allthat is the expression of the human experience
without making it always be about me. But it's been it's been a challenge.
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It's definitely been a challenge. Uhyeah, yeah, yeah, that's
where I've been. That's what's up, beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Yeah, thank you for listening.I feel like I'm just talking about this
debree. I forget that like abazillion people, I'm gonna be sharing this
time. It's fine, but it'sthis is good. This is why a
lot of people listen is because itis like just sitting in on what did
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someone said? It's like they feellike they're sitting and having wine with us
well like where you know, it'slike a little intimate Yeah, yeah,
thank you for sharing that. Iam. I have been kind of on
the outside watching you go through itand have been holding massive space for you
and and sending you love every everytime I think about you, and you
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know the phoenix that's that's currently risingwithin you, and uh, thank I
can reflect back to you that youare stronger. And I've known you in
the last two years and three months, and you know it's really interesting too,
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you know, to all that's listening. UM. I want to make
something clear. UM. Being umopinionated, like like feeling the need to
justify and put this whole kind ofarmor onto your opinions, you know,
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and getting very righteous and upity aboutyour beliefs is actually all ego. There
is a difference between carrying a beliefand making space for other people's belief And
there's a difference between knowing what's truefor you and not fucking making it be
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everybody else's truth. And so youknow, it's normal that the ego comes
in and creates this armor to protectthis very soft, gooey interior. That's
developing. It's really normal. Egois so important in our growth. If
you think about a little kid,you know, as they're growing and cementing
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their way in life, they needto form an ego to understand what's theirs
and what's not theirs. Right.So ego, it's like a it's like
an understanding of self. And that'simportant up to a point when you notice
yourself getting too attached to your needsand your identity and your political views and
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all these things, and as suchmaking other people bad, making other people
and other judging other people. That'sonly creating a separation, and that separation
is ego. So we have tofind a way to balance that, the
ego, the self, the protectionof self, like your identity and what's
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true for you, right, anderadicating everyone else just because they don't hold
that same view and perspective. Solike in the political conversation, I know,
it's easy to make anyone who votedfor Trump bad. You're an idiot,
you're bad. But the people whoare going to take Chump down are
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them, not us. It's right, it's the Republicans that are gonna bring
Trump down, not the Democrats.Because hello, We've been saying something since
election day, and that thing's working. So it's it's shifting of their perspective
that's going to help. But makingsomeone feel bad or feel you know,
it's not It's not what's going towork. So we gotta find that balance
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of like this is what's wrong,like killing people is wrong, like what
you did is bad. You know, this is what I believe, while
also holding space for their humanity andfor who they can become. And it's
a very hard balance and I certainlydon't have it clearly as I'm still learning
to navigate my own judgmentalness. Butthis sense of judgment, it's really it's
really a desire to keep people separate, and ultimately the goal in the spiritual
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practices is to find a way toslowly ease that separation. You don't have
to become all one tomorrow, butjust start to ease the need to be
separate, the need to you know, hold yourself in your armor. Well,
I needed to add that before weopened the floor up for you.
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There anything else you want to sayabout that? Before? No, I
just I wanted to say thank youand honor you for being so transparent and
vulnerable because I know that that's somethingthat can get a little uncomfortable for you.
So thank we're talking about I'm vulnerableall the time, which is I'm
always vulnerable and open. Yeah huhoh yeah, yeah, all right,
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your true. So something I've beenbeen feeling challenged with as well. I
was just online shopping for something orno. I just got this new hoodie
thing and a friend of mine lastnight was like, where the fuck did
you get that? I need one? Find it for me. So I
had to go, like on thisexpedition. I was on this website and
I found this T shirt that saidI'm already tired tomorrow and I read it
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and I was like, oh,I need that. Like. So my
my journey with this kind of beginsin December as well. In that and
I have multiple breakdowns, all ofthe breakdowns and the separately but separately.
Um. So I go to Baliand I start, wait, that was
just that was this December? Yeahthat was just six months ago. I
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I feel like that was forever ago. Oh, which will tie back into
why I'm so fucking tired right now. So I go to Bali six months
ago and I go with the intentionof having like massive healing, like massively,
because this is what I do.This is why I'm all or nothing
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person Like I don't want to goand just have a little bit of you
need to tell the universe. Ido not want any transformation. I don't
want any growth. I don't wantI don't want anything universe because y'all know
we asked the universe anything. It'sgonna be like, oh you, oh,
oh, you want this, well, first, let me give you
all this shit. Yeah. SoI'm there. I'm in Bali, and
I'm seeing all these healers and justin meditation and doing yoga and all sorts
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of things while I'm in Bali andreally having the space to do that and
being disconnected from my daily life andfrom everything and reading and being in the
sun and just I mean, likeit was a great trip. And while
I was there, my trajectory changed. So, like Tye said, when
when she and I went into thisyear, we both had a really clear
plan on like where we were going, you know, what we were doing
(27:37):
to get there. I got usmatching dryer race calendars and like filled it
out for both of us and Iuse and it's like the best thing ever.
Yeah, it is, and Icolor coded and put both of our
plans onto these calendars for both ofus, and both of us in like
what February March literally wiped the entirething. I didn't wipe it. I
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just lift it. Oh well thatworks too. So so I get into
January and I start taking these stepsto move towards this new trajectory that's become
in my life. So basically,what I had gone into this year with
was this idea that I was buildinglike a half million dollar business and just
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to give you, like the moneystuff literally doesn't matter, it's just to
give you an idea of the scale. And so I had this idea of
this business. And when I wasin Bali, one of the healers looked
at me and said, what thefuck are you waiting for? Like why
are you waiting? And I said, I don't wait for anything, Like
you clearly don't know me, LikeI don't wait for anything. I fucking
do what I want when I want, and you know I don't wait.
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And she was like, well,then why are you waiting to build a
million dollar business? And I waslike, oh, I like literally didn't
even know that was kind of apossibility. In this you know time frame,
and she was like, just doit next year. What are you
waiting for? And so when Igot back in twenty seventeen, I enrolled
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in a training program and started changingmy trajectory to be this different business.
And what happens when you do thatis that everything that is not in alignment
with that destination, with that endpointwill start falling away. And so this
year, everything about my life andbusiness has changed, like literally everything.
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I feel like one of the onlyconsistent things that has been in my life
is my apartment, which is probablycats, my cats, and my part
my home, just my home lifein general, which is probably why I
have not wanted to leave my housemuch this year, like I would really
just prefer to be in my apartment. And so so everything about my life
(29:52):
my business amplify, like everything haschanged. I feel like you know when
you have like a really full deskand like someone takes their arm on one
side of the desk and just likepushes literally everything off the desk and one's
sweeping motion. No you miss,but you miss the why miss why that
happens? Like why does anyone sweepeverything off their desk? Well, I
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don't feel like I did. Ifeel like the universe did, and why
to have glorious sex like that isthe only reason by the universe. I've
been watching The Good Wife lately andthat literally happened in an episode where they
just like take everything and like everythingoff the desk. It's like the sexiest
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thing. It's like the sexiest typeof scene. Yeah, it's not so
sexy when it's happening to your likeyour life though. So I mean,
here I am in this state oflike, okay, So my launch in
February didn't go as planned, andmy program isn't working anymore, and you
know this isn't working and that isn'tworking. And at the same time,
the universe has been opening up toother things, such as me writing my
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book and all sorts of other thingswith that. But it's been hard for
me to surrender and let go,and I know I have been having been
at okay, I would Quintaple Taurus. I like things very set, and
I like things very tangible, andI like to know the things like we
(31:22):
all want to know the things right, like we want the map in front
of us. We want to knowthat everything's going to work out. Which
one part of me does. Likethat's the thing I was talking about with
the spirit human thing, Like there'sthis deep part of me that knows that
everything is perfect, and I talkabout it and I believe it deep in
my bones that everything is perfect,and like we talked about earlier, this
(31:47):
human side of me is like,but no, everything is going. And
so this year has just been Ifeel like I've been in the ocean,
being tossed around, thrown about without any ability to do anything about it.
And I just feel like I've beenin a super tumultuous like thing where
(32:10):
you know, and then I getoff, I get out of the ocean,
and literally like everything's gone. AndI have just like I've been working
so hard and I put all ofmy energy into my business because this is
what I'm here for. Like Ihave such a massive vision that it paralyzes
(32:30):
me sometimes because I'm like, I'mjust a human, Like how the fuck
am I going to do these things? And so I was talking to a
friend when I was in Seattle abouthow like and I'm not tired, as
in like I need to go takea nap, Like I feel it in
my bones, just like this deepsoul exhaustion where I'm like, I'm tired,
(32:52):
and so when I saw that shirtyesterday, I was like, oh
my god, I so need that. And then I've also been being like,
okay, so, Universe, literallyland my next lifetime. Can I
please come back as a housecat,Like I just need a lifetime where I
just chill out and people pamper meand they pet me and I get fed.
I was talking to someone about it, Yeah, exactly like Chewy is
(33:15):
right now on Taius's bed. Iwas talking to someone about it, and
They're like, well, if youwant to be a cat, be a
lion, and I'm like, butnot, that's for their married. Yeah,
they have to work for their food. I literally just want to chill
the fuck out because on a soullevel, I am tired, and it's
just something that I've been retreating alot. I've been creating a lot of
(33:37):
boundaries to make sure that I'm selfcaring, like we talked about a few
weeks ago, and yeah, I'mjust I feel like I'm just in this
exhaustion and I can feel myself comingout of it. I know that I'm
coming out of it. You know, my book is almost the first draft's
almost complete, I'm making all theseother moves, and I'm just I'm so
(34:01):
tired of being in the like hustlestuff of business, Like I just want
to be there already, and Iknow that there is no there, and
it's all these constant conflicts of like, you know, everything's perfect, but
I'm fucking tired and I want tobe there but there is no there,
and like just this constant back andforth. And so I've been doing my
(34:22):
best to eat really amazing food,watch Amazon and Netflix, which I usually
don't like to allow myself to do, you know, floating and massages and
just like really giving myself that nourishmentthat I feel like I need if I
am really truly going to complete thislifetime like I feel like I set out
(34:44):
to do. No, that's mychallenge right now is I'm just fucking exhausted.
Well, thank you for sharing.Yep. Yeah, I feel like
and as we talked about the beginningto like it's so easy to look at
people's instagrams and and you know belike, well why is it so easy
(35:06):
for them? Like even those oflike there's always something and it's not to
say that, you know, mysocial media isn't true, Like I you
know, fourth of July posted thisamazing photo of me hanging out with four
of my people and it was literallyone of the most joyous, soul nourishing,
fulfilling, like happy, laughter,loving nights ever. Like, that's
(35:30):
very true. I'm doing my bestto be present in the joy that is
here, be present in the momentof like what's available to me right now,
and in the juxtaposition of that alsothis deep like oh my god,
are we there yet? Yeah?Yeah, no, I feel you.
I feel like this is something thata lot of especially entrepreneur's face is this.
(35:54):
I mean, we're constantly navigating thetwo arenas, but this sense of
when am I going to get there? You know, I've been working so
hard to get there. I've beenso committed to this. I've moved,
I changed my entire life for this, Like one, am I going to
start at least getting to the placewhere things start to just move ease?
(36:15):
Like with ease. Yeah, butimpatience has been coming up a lot for
me lately too, like so muchwhile I was born early And my mom
laughs and she says, that's indicativeof my love of I's my mom's labor
went on for I think I thinkshe her water broke at noon and I
(36:37):
didn't come out until like five orsix am the next day, and I
Gotti tortured your mother. Indicative ofme. I'm like holding on being like
no, no, I don't wantto go, don't throw me into that
new situation, like I just wantto stay right here. I'm can I
be right here? Super indicative ofmy personality. Yeah, yeah, it's
(36:58):
fascinating how we both have had suchunravelings in the past seven months, Like
you said, like independent of yourself, independent of ourselves, and it's been
it's been a whirlwind. There areWhat I found to be extremely helpful for
(37:22):
me was to really re examine alot of the beliefs that I carried that
were no longer kind of aligning andsupporting me my new kind of chapter.
I will say, I will saybefore I go out, you know,
I had a vedic aschology or domy chart and he looked at my chart.
(37:45):
I sorry, sure, I toldyou this right pretty like he looked
at my chart. This is liketwo three years ago, Yeah, like
three or two or two three yearsago. He looked at my chart and
he goes. So you have achart of transformation, you're pretty much always
going to be transforming. And Iremember thinking that sounds fucking exhausting, That
(38:05):
sounds egg exhausting. But I willsay because I've transformed so many times in
my life, and I've gone throughso many iterations of my life and so
many like new steps in my life, and they've getten more and more the
sense of completion, in the senseof like, ah, yes, embodiment,
like yes, I'm I'm here,and I'm sure I will get to
even the next evolution and next Butbecause I've done it so often, I
(38:28):
start to get to know how todo it pretty well. And one of
the things, yeah, it doestheoretically become easier. Although when you're in
it, like when you're in themoment of it, you're like, oh
yeah, it's only when you stepback and you're like, oh right,
I've done that before. Okay,so now we can move on, because
we don't even know that you're everything'sshitting you know, you know, you
(38:50):
don't even really know that everything islike fucking falling apart until it is,
and then you're like, shit,that's everything's falling apart. So one of
the things that I have found thatit makes it easy, not easier,
that's the wrong word. That makesme more aware is to really look at
what beliefs I'm caring and is thisreally now in alignment with this kind of
(39:13):
new phase. And it could bebeliefs about myself, it could be beliefs
about the world. When I firstwent through my major metamorphosis and how to
dargnut of the soul moment around mybing cheating and I started to find God
for the first time, that wasone of the first time. So I'm
like, Okay, what beliefs doI have that are really not supporting me?
And this was not a conscious conversationbecause I didn't even know about beliefs
(39:36):
then, But looking back now,I'm like, Okay, the belief that
it's a dog eat dog world outthere is not helping me right. The
belief that I don't deserve to beon this planet, like that's not working
out for me too well, andreally shifting. And so this time around,
there's been some big shifts around mybusiness, around marketing, around universal
principles and energy that I'm like,it's not that the BELI leaf is not
(40:00):
right, you know, it's justthat I just don't care to really entertain
it, right, Like I don'treally care to think about it too much.
It's like a snake, you know, like they don't carry around their
same shell your whole life, youknow, like they move, they shed
their skin, and they move on, and they grow a new skin,
and then they shed that one andthey move on. Yeah, and you've
(40:21):
got to know when to let go, because I think that that's the hardest
part in all of it, isto them to be like I got to
just let go that this is nolonger serving me. Like like for me,
I think that all like universal principlesyour people, like law of attraction
stuff like things that I used toteach and be completely committed to, like
like attracts, Like you know,your thoughts create things. And I'm not
(40:44):
saying it doesn't. It's not thatnow I'm like, thoughts don't create you
things. It's just at one pointthose thoughts and beliefs used to run my
life and run how I operate,and now I'm choosing a different set of
beliefs to run my life and tofind So I need to make this abundantly
clear. It's not that I don'tquote unquote believe in these things. It's
(41:07):
that they're just not my primary emphasison how I navigate things because I wasn't
finding that to be useful for me. But I don't plenty of people that
find it to be useful for them, And that's the point. You've got
to find what beliefs feel good foryou. Oh, here's a stupid example.
I think we talked about this ina podcast like vision boards. Here's
a stupid example. I fucking hatevision boards. They sound great in theory,
(41:31):
but my personality if I keep likeI don't like to go shopping if
I don't have money, as in, I don't like to try things on.
If I'm like, oh, I'mgoing to try it on and pretend
like I can buy it, butI'm gonna I'm not gonna buy it.
Not that I can't afford it,but I have an abundant somebody I'm just
choosing not to buy it. Yeah. Fuck that. It's never excited me.
I've never been that type of person. If I have the money and
(41:52):
the resources, I will go outand get what I need and it's great.
So why was I then carrying ona vision board of all the things
that I one day would have,but I don't have now. For some
people like Bree, I know,he's so driven by her vision, and
she has that connection with her visionlike that drives her. I mean not
necessarily vision boarding, but visions driveher. For me, seeing this car
(42:15):
that I right now I'm not inthe capacity to have did not excite me.
So I just chose a different Poliefesystem. Again, it's not that
thoughts on great things. It's thatI just wasn't going to entertain vision boards
anymore because it wasn't working for me. And I think that that was the
biggest thing that we both have found, is that we've got to find what
(42:37):
works for us. You know,Bree with her boundaries and her nutrition and
her at what's working for her tocreate a solid base while she's in this
mega shift. And yeah, Ithink you have a kiddie behind you.
I do have a kiddie behind me. This is Percy. Hi. Percy.
Percy is a kiddie. He's likeone one and a half. Yeah.
(42:57):
I was gonna say, I don'tthink I remember meeting Percy when I
was there. No, Percy's new. So for those of you that don't
know him house sitting in Seattle rightnow, and Percy likes to hang out
with me. I'm in the tower, which is their fourth story. It's
like literally this little like nook.It's really cute. Percy loves hanging out
with me while I'm up here writing, and yeah, that's been one of
(43:17):
my systems for success. Thank God. Well, I have my two kiddies,
and then when I leave LA,I have cats all over that I
just go visit. And so Ihave three cats right now that are amazing,
and they're loving me and taking careof me and and helping me surrender
and helping me be in the presentmoment and helping me have loads of laughs
and enjoying the ride even though thingsare exhausting and sticky and you know,
(43:45):
everything right now. So I thinkthat's been the biggest thing that's really been
helping me. Is presence is reallyjust being in the moment. And I
would never find that what is thispresence you speak of. I'm allowing my
heart to be in what ever stayedit's in in the moment, you know,
like and crying when I need tocry, and just you know,
(44:06):
all the things. I woke upthis morning having realized that I had tossed
my keys away, just bye byekeys. I wish it was more romantic
too. I wish I was likeI was swimming with the dolphins in the
ocean. One of the dolphins justlike grabbed my keys and then he swam
off into the sunset. No,no, no, I was not being
(44:27):
mindful, and I just tossed thekeys into a bag that we didn't use
later as a trash bag. AndI woke up feeling that so fun about
it. And I'm just letting myselfnot feel that fun about it. And
it goes. You know, it'llchange. Yeah, Yeah, that's the
one constant in life. Change.You're so wise. Transformation. Man,
(44:51):
that's a quote no one's ever heardbefore, not getting it's true though it
is. I know so many isit true? I know so many of
the cliche things are so I mean, they are obnoxious, and like even
the let it go thing, you'relike, shut the fuck up. But
for gratitude, My mom always like, be in gratitude, everything will come.
But we're so so much we obsessedover a gratitude having to look a
(45:15):
certain way or be a certain way, or like, oh I'm grateful for
this, but not this. It'slike no, No. Radical gratitude is
like a full body experience that literallyeverything you have is good, everything that
is here is good. It's likeit's not it's not a list. It's
not all ten things I'm grateful for. It's like, wow, can I
be in radical gratitude right now forall that I have? And we we
(45:37):
don't. We don't. We havea list, but then we also have
a list of things that were notgrateful for, and uh, that defeats
the purpose. Yep, it's nota grateful but you don't get to be
like I'm grateful. But it doesn'twork that way. YEA. Yeah,
radical gratitude it could actually it actuallyit's it keeps you sane. It may
(46:00):
not take away your pain, butit keeps you sane in the pain.
And I think that really that's allwe can do. That's all we can
do. Yeah, So thank youeveryone for hearing us through our challenges,
and we invite you to look atwhere you're feeling challenged in your life right
now and maybe how you can bea little bit more vulnerable with it as
(46:22):
well, because if you want tobe vulnerable, you're welcome to goal into
our Facebook group be amplified dot communityand share with us, you know,
hold space for where you're feeling challengedright now, because it's it is really
powerful to be witnessed in your challengeswithout being fixed, without being judged,
(46:43):
without being of sound like me,without being like So come with epic words
that are coming out of your mouthright there. I do what I can,
So come share with us you're whereare you're feeling challenged and how you
know how we can be in thesechallenges together because you know we're on this
(47:04):
journey as humans in a collaborative,connective way. And uh yeah, peace
out Girl Scout by Amplifiers Go tothe Yellow by Jinks
You are listening to be Amplified thePodcast with Free Entice, episode fifty four.
Hey Amplifiers, welcome to be Amplifiedthe Podcast. My name is Tayis
and I'm Breeciily. We are theco founders of the Amplified Collective, a
movement aimed at radically disrupting how purposedriven women connect and operate in the world,
(00:22):
because we believe it's not just whatyou do, but who you are
that matters. Each week, joinus for messages and interviews that will leave
you feeling amplified and ready to changethe world. Let's do this. Happy
Monday, Amplifiers, brew a rawhe row. This is Tay Sky,
(00:48):
that is Breecily. We come toyou every week with amplified content on amplifying
or amplified life and all of theamplifiers and amplifiers and amplifying and amplified and
amplified. Yeah. So we're excitedabout this week's conversation. So that's something
that Bree had this idea for it, and I was like, damn it,
(01:11):
No, I had a feeling thatyou'd be hesitate. No, I
was not hesitant. I'm excited aboutthis topic. It is a good one.
But before we get into that,as usual, quick announcements. One.
We are having our fantastic dinner partyin Los Angeles in just a few
(01:34):
weeks time. We have an amazingface that we are using through Breather,
who is one of our new favoritecompanies, and we'll be having the event
catered and an amazing musical guest whois Los Angeles lovely lady, and all
sorts of stuff. It's going tobe great conversation and we want you to
(01:56):
be at the table with us.Yeah. We love this private experience because
it's really curated and really delicious andthere's no rush to get to know one
another and have intimate conversations and reallymeet other fabulous, driven, ambitious,
lovely ladies of LA. So yeah, so that's happening. So we would
(02:21):
love to see you there. Andthat's it you can get You can find
out one more information and to getyour tickets at be Nope, sorry wrong
website. You can get tickets atthe Amplified Collective dot com. There is
an event tab. If you clickon it, all the information is there.
It will take you directly to eventright and you can come rub elbows
(02:43):
with us and get a hug inreal life. Uh yeay, yeah,
yeah, yeay. All right,let's get into it. Okay. Let's
so some of you may have noticed, especially those of you that listen to
our extended cuts with our guests,that we've been asking a question lately that
Tys came up with. And Idon't even remember how you came up.
(03:04):
I'm just an excellent question maker,it is true. So she has started
asking our guests this question and it'sbeen We've gotten some really great responses.
And the thing I love about thisquestion is that it gets real because you
know, Tyson, I talk allthe time about these Instagram perfect lives and
the facebooks and the things and howgreat everything looks all the time, and
(03:25):
all of us are struggling with something. We're facing challenges, like all of
us are, no matter what,no matter how great our lives look,
and how many you know Instagram latteswe post like we're all struggling and with
some sort of selling and caffeinated it'simportant extra I actually here, here's a
(03:46):
hypothesis. The more caffeine and lattephotos that people post on their thing,
the more they're struggling with life.Because there's maybe possibly there's a direct corelation
between the amount of caffeine you intakeand how much stress you're currently facing.
What do you think. I loveit. I think that's an excellent thesis.
(04:08):
Should we test that, we shouldwrite a dissertation on it. Yeah,
so let's talk about our challenges.We're gonna get ron real. I
mean, we're always ron real,but we're gonna get even roller and realer
in the conversation of challenges, andwe're both going to share what challenges we're
happening in our lives. And Ithink it's really really important too that when
(04:30):
we have this conversation, I knowthat it's very easy as kind of spiritual
inspirational leaders to try to convert ourchallenges into opportunities or like sugarcoat it right,
like it's I'm not actually facing achallenge because my entire incarnation is heavenly
and I just go with the flowand everything's fine. It's like bullshit,
(04:54):
let's be real, let's be realwith each other. Yes, and like
yes, that's true. Yes,we're all spiritual beings and none of the
stuff is real. That's great.And in the moment when your father dies
and you're staring at him in theface as his soul leaves the body.
I'm sure that you're real that realexperience that you're having needs to be honored.
(05:18):
Yeah. I talk about this alot, that there's like this this
spectrum from one end to the otherof like our spirit and our humanness,
because we are both in every moment, we are both, and a lot
of times we exist in either oneor the other. And if we're existing
(05:39):
heavy in the spirit side of things, we're doing it to not deny,
but kind of avoid the aspect ofthings because seeking human fucking sex. Yeah.
And then if we're too human,obviously we're denying the other end of
the spectrum as well. And soit's that nice, juicy middle spot like
Tys was talking about. Yes,we are spiritual beings. Yes everything is
(06:02):
always in divine perfection, and thatyou're allowed. Yeah, that our humanity
can't experience the humanness of our lives. Yeah. Yeah. And one thing
too, I want to add beforewe get into our actual challenges is that
it's very hard for us to hearpeople share their challenges. When we hear
(06:27):
someone in pain, or someone indespair, or someone you know sharing their
heart with us, it's very easyfor us to want to tell them what
to do, or tell them usnot a big deal, or try to
make it, you know, tryto ease their pain or ease their burden
by taking some on, right,by making it be about us by giving
them advice. Really, that's whatwe're doing when we give people advice,
is we're making it be about us. And what you're doing in those moments
(06:53):
is you're actually robbing that person oftheir ability to be with their stuff and
to allow all that stuff too,to do its work, whatever that work
is supposed to be. Um.So, when you're in the space where
someone is vulnerably sharing their truth,their real experience, here's what not to
do. Do not tell them tolet it go, forgive and forget.
(07:15):
It's all good, it's not abig deal. Yeah, how much do
we hate hearing that? If youwere easy to just let it go,
we'd all be letting going. Um. But but also, you know,
don't give them advice, and donot give them advice. No one,
no one needs your advice because rightright, like when I give let's say,
(07:36):
if I were to give you advice, if you will, I tell
you, I don't know what todo about this. And you don't ask
advice. That's a that's there's adifference. See. But here's the problem
though, I called Tais for advice, and she's like, oh, I
totally am holding space for you,and I'm like, no, fucking fix
it. Okay. So yeah,so that's that's the consent right there.
But let's say break comes toity shedoesn't want my advice, she didn't ask
(07:58):
for it. What happens when Istart giving her advice is I'm essentially saying
I know what's best in your life, like I have some sort of authority
of your life, and so here, let me tell you how you should
handle it. Let me tell youhow you should navigate it. And it's
so much easier when we're not inthis ship, right, it's so much
easier when we're not the ones beingcheated on or whatever else to then tell
(08:20):
you to just like or whatever.And so that's really depriving of the person
of their experience. So unless theyask for rice, if they ask,
that's a different matter of course.But yeah, so when someone shares their
challenges, just see if you canreally hold space for their pain and sort
of trying to fix it. Andthen oftentimes too. And I think Tyson
I've mentioned this before, is thatwe usually go into that advice giving mode
(08:45):
because we are uncomfortable what the personis feeling, and so we don't want
to have to sit in the discomfortthat is arising within us experiencing their pain,
and so we try to fix itfor them so that we don't have
to feel the discomfort. So whenyou know, when people are sharing challenges
with you, notice that discomfort,Notice of your propensity to want to jump
(09:09):
in and fix it for them,Notice what's coming up within you, because
that's what you need to deal with. It's noting it for the other person.
It's being like, wow, whyis this making me uncomfortable? Because
this situation isn't mine. So justI love it. I think that's yes.
I'm glad that you said that,because that's absolutely what's going on.
(09:31):
You know, when we have ahard time holding on to our pain,
it's very hard to hold onto thepain of other people. And I get
it. No one likes to feeldistraught or resentful or stress or whatever else
overwhelmed. And that's why, youknow, there's so much of the coaching
world that are people just trying tofix other people. It's an energy that
you know, you buy in asthe let's say, the victim, and
(09:54):
then the perpetrator also buys in.So it's a it's a it both have
to consent to this unconscious which isI don't know what I'm doing in my
life. Here, let me tellyou what you need to do in your
life. You know, sign upfor the five Hacks of how to make
your house cleaner, and it's like, oh, because my house is an
ass. There's a difference between hiringan expert or you know, looking to
someone to support you in your life, and there's another expecting somebody else to
(10:16):
fix your life. And I thinkthat line is very blurred, and too
many of us we really want someoneto fix our lives, especially when we
go to like the psychics, thewhat is it, the clairvoyant and all
the claires and they can see andhere all the futures. I just have
a clai voyant reading last week.See see. It's so there's a part
(10:39):
that's like genuine, and then there'sa part that's like, please just tell
me, tell me I'm going tobe a billionaire, you know, yeah,
And then they don't tell you that, and then it's devastating. So
let's get into it. So yousometimes, sorry, being human is hard.
(11:01):
Okay, it's hard. Do youwant to go first or do you
want me to go first? Doesn'tmatter. I don't paper scissord. No,
maybe we should have write paper scissors. Well, people can't see us.
We are on video, but theycan't see us. We'll do it
anyway. We'll tell them what weget. Okay, ready, one papers
the shit? Oh, I says, there's cuts your paper, so you
I will, so, miss Tish. What what is the current challenge or
(11:28):
struggle that you're facing in your liferight now? Okay, okay, um,
I mean this is legit. Thisis something I've been really really struggling
with and um operating and trying tofigure out. So um, let me
back it up and share um.The traditional learning curve, I think for
all of us, and I canreally I really remember it being my truth
(11:52):
when I was teaching yoga or Iguess I still teach yoga, but when
I was really learning, I wasin the beginning phases of teaching yogays.
You know, first year a student, so you get on the mat and
you don't know what you don't knowwhat's right or wrong. You don't know
what's bad or not bad. Youdon't know what proper alignment is. So
you're like totally open to getting theinstruction of the teacher, and you're malleable
(12:13):
and you're learning a lot, andyou're very thirsty to learn. So you're
like, yes, give me anatomy, you know, yes, tell me
what's up, and and you becomeso thirsty and either side that, you're
going to go into teach a training. So you're going to teach your training.
And then you get you become ayoga teacher. And when you go
into yoga classes, now it's likeyou're not teaching like someone else's teaching.
(12:33):
It's very easy to get very hyperaware of what the teacher is doing.
And in your head you're like,oh, that teacher is doing it wrong.
Oh sh cute this wrong. Ohthat's not how I would have done
it. What no core in thisclass? Blah blah blah. Like you
know, you kind of can't helpbut like judge and be very opinionated in
(12:54):
how that teacher is right or wrong. And it's very hard to turn this
off. And then you know,the more you go, the more you
get like embedded in your style ofyoga is like the better style, you
know, like I'm a power yogateacher that I mean them better than the
beacram and blah blah blah, andyou get very and if you're a nast
type of community, it just augmentsthe strength of like the way you're operating
(13:16):
is better than everybody else's. Andafter a while, though, and this
has been what's true for me isI took a break from practicing yoga for
about two years because of my riskissues, but because I had such a
departure at least from the physical asinapractice, not like meditation or back to
yoga. But when I departed fromthe physical practice and then I came back,
(13:41):
I just find that I really don'tgive a shit what the teacher is
doing because it really doesn't matter whatI get from my practice, Like it's
my practice, and I could goin a class of like the quote unquote
worst teacher and I'll get something reallygood out of it because it's now about
me and my experience and what Ifeel like in my body. And if
something the teacher says doesn't feel alignedwith what I want to do, then
(14:03):
I don't do it. So Ijust taken complete ownership of just being in
my body, and that is Ithink the epitome of kind of being embodied
is it doesn't matter anymore. LikeI have my style of teaching and if
you love it, great, andif you don't, that's fine. But
I don't feel it as any betterany warriors really than anybody else. We're
all messily walking each other home,as I say, So you know,
(14:26):
it's all good, It's all fine. So here's my challenge. My struggle
in December actually backup, backup inSeptember, October November, I was having
some major revelations and opening around mymother wound, and I was I didn't
(14:46):
even I mean, I had challengeswith my mom and my childhood, but
I didn't really realize the depth ofthat pain until I touched it, and
so that forced me to do somereally radical healing and work around the mother
wound. So that was around thetime of the election, and also around
that time, I started feeling reallyjaded by the coaching industry. I was
(15:11):
just feeling like there's just a lotof fakers out there that don't really know
what the fuck they're doing, andthey're making you know, all this money
really perpetuating all the shit in ourindustry, and I started feeling really terrible
about my participation in the industry andwhat I was doing. So all three
things kind of came together in Decemberfor me to have kind of this like
many awakening. All my awakenings fuckinghappened in December. Btw, It's the
(15:33):
worst time to be awakened. Ijust want to like sip eggnog and watch
the Cracker, Like I don't wantto be fundering your sulto's. Yeah,
you know, this is my secondyear where I've had like a big moment
in December anyway, So I startedto really recognize the ways in which my
(15:56):
privilege as a white woman was beingperpetuating in an industry that was really empowering.
Only when you know, just goinginto a whole social justice awakening and
realizing my power in that and myrole in that as I was stepping into
who I am because I was healingfrom my mother wound, as I was
awakening to what Trump was doing.So it all came together. It's real
(16:18):
a clusterfucked moment. In January,when I was launching my second owner Spotlight
group program, and the launch wasnot going according to plan, and it
was devastating that things weren't aligning inthe way that I wanted them to align.
And then my dog ran away andgot hit by a car trying to
(16:38):
find me out of my mother inlaw's house, and my mom came to
visit, and that whole trip feltso off because, you know, doing
all the mother wound healing, tryingto figure out what the new relationship is
between my mom and me. Seeso many challenges break, okay, so
many challenges. So so in January, I really took I really eradicated the
(17:03):
entire calendar of my business. Youknow, Brie and I went to Palm
Springs in October and we created thisbeautiful business plan for my business, her
business and Amplifies business, and Icompletely eradicated my whole the whole plan because
nothing was feeling good. I wasn'tsure how to be who I am and
(17:25):
that I was becoming in the industry. Anyway, Okay, fast forward,
So Brianna, I had a beautifullaunch of the Amplified Woman, and that
kind of helped carry me some momentumto really figure some stuff out. And
I'm coming to this point now whereI am more of who I am than
I've ever been. Like I've doneso much inner work and I'm starting to
(17:45):
really see the repercus the manifestation ofthat. I'm feeling so good about who
I am the first time in mylife, like just so good about myself,
so good about what I'm learning,so good about how I am marketing
myself and being myself in the onlinespace, and I love my Now I'm
launching the third iteration of my ownerspot like group program, and I made
(18:07):
some major renovations to it to reallyalign with my new knowledge. So everything
is like feeling really good, exceptfor just like in my yoga teacher training
thing, I've become so judgmental ofpeople who are now like who aren't who
don't get what I get around howto market themselves in a way that's not
(18:33):
perpetuating their privilege and perpetuating their crap, And I'm getting very judgmental about it.
It's very hard for me to evenlike reconcile, like like being like
talk to them or being the sameroom or like have conversations because I'm like
so shifted from that. So thereason why I introduced a yoga story earliers,
because I know that there will thisis just a phase, and I
(18:56):
will phase out and there will bea point where it's like, great,
you do you. You know,you do what you need to do,
and I'm gonna do me and I'mgonna feel really good in that. And
life goes on and everyone's messily walkingeach other home and there is no right
or wrong. I mean, youknow, we're all fucking human. So
but I don't want to, like, I don't want to lose people that
(19:18):
I respect and I love and Itrust and I honor because they don't hold
the same perspective of how to bemarketing or how to be talking about the
business. I mean, and Iknow so many people in a coaching industry,
like we know so many entrepreneurs andso so that's been my challenge is
(19:41):
like really seeing the human the messiness, and not not that I can't get
into a pedestal or because I amthere, but really checking myself and knowing
it and stepping back and knowing thatthis is a phase and this is not
the truth. Like what we talkedabout what was it last week about truths,
Like this is not the capital teatruth, This is just a momentary
(20:02):
truth, and I can honor thattruth and I don't have to judge it
or label it because I know it'sgoing to pass, and I know it's
not going to be a thing forever. While doing my best to not unnecessarily
burn bridges or condescend condemn people forwho they are being, because that's not
(20:22):
fair. Like I don't want tocondemn people for who they're being, because
I don't want them to condemn mefor who I'm being. Um So,
in the process, I've been learninga lot more about nuance and gentleness and
softness and um and and honoring allthat is the expression of the human experience
without making it always be about me. But it's been it's been a challenge.
(20:45):
It's definitely been a challenge. Uhyeah, yeah, yeah, that's
where I've been. That's what's up, beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Yeah, thank you for listening.I feel like I'm just talking about this
debree. I forget that like abazillion people, I'm gonna be sharing this
time. It's fine, but it'sthis is good. This is why a
lot of people listen is because itis like just sitting in on what did
(21:08):
someone said? It's like they feellike they're sitting and having wine with us
well like where you know, it'slike a little intimate Yeah, yeah,
thank you for sharing that. Iam. I have been kind of on
the outside watching you go through itand have been holding massive space for you
and and sending you love every everytime I think about you, and you
(21:30):
know the phoenix that's that's currently risingwithin you, and uh, thank I
can reflect back to you that youare stronger. And I've known you in
the last two years and three months, and you know it's really interesting too,
(21:51):
you know, to all that's listening. UM. I want to make
something clear. UM. Being umopinionated, like like feeling the need to
justify and put this whole kind ofarmor onto your opinions, you know,
(22:12):
and getting very righteous and upity aboutyour beliefs is actually all ego. There
is a difference between carrying a beliefand making space for other people's belief And
there's a difference between knowing what's truefor you and not fucking making it be
(22:33):
everybody else's truth. And so youknow, it's normal that the ego comes
in and creates this armor to protectthis very soft, gooey interior. That's
developing. It's really normal. Egois so important in our growth. If
you think about a little kid,you know, as they're growing and cementing
(22:56):
their way in life, they needto form an ego to understand what's theirs
and what's not theirs. Right.So ego, it's like a it's like
an understanding of self. And that'simportant up to a point when you notice
yourself getting too attached to your needsand your identity and your political views and
(23:17):
all these things, and as suchmaking other people bad, making other people
and other judging other people. That'sonly creating a separation, and that separation
is ego. So we have tofind a way to balance that, the
ego, the self, the protectionof self, like your identity and what's
(23:37):
true for you, right, anderadicating everyone else just because they don't hold
that same view and perspective. Solike in the political conversation, I know,
it's easy to make anyone who votedfor Trump bad. You're an idiot,
you're bad. But the people whoare going to take Chump down are
(24:00):
them, not us. It's right, it's the Republicans that are gonna bring
Trump down, not the Democrats.Because hello, We've been saying something since
election day, and that thing's working. So it's it's shifting of their perspective
that's going to help. But makingsomeone feel bad or feel you know,
it's not It's not what's going towork. So we gotta find that balance
(24:21):
of like this is what's wrong,like killing people is wrong, like what
you did is bad. You know, this is what I believe, while
also holding space for their humanity andfor who they can become. And it's
a very hard balance and I certainlydon't have it clearly as I'm still learning
to navigate my own judgmentalness. Butthis sense of judgment, it's really it's
really a desire to keep people separate, and ultimately the goal in the spiritual
(24:44):
practices is to find a way toslowly ease that separation. You don't have
to become all one tomorrow, butjust start to ease the need to be
separate, the need to you know, hold yourself in your armor. Well,
I needed to add that before weopened the floor up for you.
(25:06):
There anything else you want to sayabout that? Before? No, I
just I wanted to say thank youand honor you for being so transparent and
vulnerable because I know that that's somethingthat can get a little uncomfortable for you.
So thank we're talking about I'm vulnerableall the time, which is I'm
always vulnerable and open. Yeah huhoh yeah, yeah, all right,
(25:37):
your true. So something I've beenbeen feeling challenged with as well. I
was just online shopping for something orno. I just got this new hoodie
thing and a friend of mine lastnight was like, where the fuck did
you get that? I need one? Find it for me. So I
had to go, like on thisexpedition. I was on this website and
I found this T shirt that saidI'm already tired tomorrow and I read it
(26:03):
and I was like, oh,I need that. Like. So my
my journey with this kind of beginsin December as well. In that and
I have multiple breakdowns, all ofthe breakdowns and the separately but separately.
Um. So I go to Baliand I start, wait, that was
just that was this December? Yeahthat was just six months ago. I
(26:27):
I feel like that was forever ago. Oh, which will tie back into
why I'm so fucking tired right now. So I go to Bali six months
ago and I go with the intentionof having like massive healing, like massively,
because this is what I do.This is why I'm all or nothing
(26:48):
person Like I don't want to goand just have a little bit of you
need to tell the universe. Ido not want any transformation. I don't
want any growth. I don't wantI don't want anything universe because y'all know
we asked the universe anything. It'sgonna be like, oh you, oh,
oh, you want this, well, first, let me give you
all this shit. Yeah. SoI'm there. I'm in Bali, and
I'm seeing all these healers and justin meditation and doing yoga and all sorts
(27:14):
of things while I'm in Bali andreally having the space to do that and
being disconnected from my daily life andfrom everything and reading and being in the
sun and just I mean, likeit was a great trip. And while
I was there, my trajectory changed. So, like Tye said, when
when she and I went into thisyear, we both had a really clear
plan on like where we were going, you know, what we were doing
(27:37):
to get there. I got usmatching dryer race calendars and like filled it
out for both of us and Iuse and it's like the best thing ever.
Yeah, it is, and Icolor coded and put both of our
plans onto these calendars for both ofus, and both of us in like
what February March literally wiped the entirething. I didn't wipe it. I
(28:00):
just lift it. Oh well thatworks too. So so I get into
January and I start taking these stepsto move towards this new trajectory that's become
in my life. So basically,what I had gone into this year with
was this idea that I was buildinglike a half million dollar business and just
(28:22):
to give you, like the moneystuff literally doesn't matter, it's just to
give you an idea of the scale. And so I had this idea of
this business. And when I wasin Bali, one of the healers looked
at me and said, what thefuck are you waiting for? Like why
are you waiting? And I said, I don't wait for anything, Like
you clearly don't know me, LikeI don't wait for anything. I fucking
do what I want when I want, and you know I don't wait.
(28:42):
And she was like, well,then why are you waiting to build a
million dollar business? And I waslike, oh, I like literally didn't
even know that was kind of apossibility. In this you know time frame,
and she was like, just doit next year. What are you
waiting for? And so when Igot back in twenty seventeen, I enrolled
(29:03):
in a training program and started changingmy trajectory to be this different business.
And what happens when you do thatis that everything that is not in alignment
with that destination, with that endpointwill start falling away. And so this
year, everything about my life andbusiness has changed, like literally everything.
(29:26):
I feel like one of the onlyconsistent things that has been in my life
is my apartment, which is probablycats, my cats, and my part
my home, just my home lifein general, which is probably why I
have not wanted to leave my housemuch this year, like I would really
just prefer to be in my apartment. And so so everything about my life
(29:52):
my business amplify, like everything haschanged. I feel like you know when
you have like a really full deskand like someone takes their arm on one
side of the desk and just likepushes literally everything off the desk and one's
sweeping motion. No you miss,but you miss the why miss why that
happens? Like why does anyone sweepeverything off their desk? Well, I
(30:15):
don't feel like I did. Ifeel like the universe did, and why
to have glorious sex like that isthe only reason by the universe. I've
been watching The Good Wife lately andthat literally happened in an episode where they
just like take everything and like everythingoff the desk. It's like the sexiest
(30:37):
thing. It's like the sexiest typeof scene. Yeah, it's not so
sexy when it's happening to your likeyour life though. So I mean,
here I am in this state oflike, okay, So my launch in
February didn't go as planned, andmy program isn't working anymore, and you
know this isn't working and that isn'tworking. And at the same time,
the universe has been opening up toother things, such as me writing my
(31:00):
book and all sorts of other thingswith that. But it's been hard for
me to surrender and let go,and I know I have been having been
at okay, I would Quintaple Taurus. I like things very set, and
I like things very tangible, andI like to know the things like we
(31:22):
all want to know the things right, like we want the map in front
of us. We want to knowthat everything's going to work out. Which
one part of me does. Likethat's the thing I was talking about with
the spirit human thing, Like there'sthis deep part of me that knows that
everything is perfect, and I talkabout it and I believe it deep in
my bones that everything is perfect,and like we talked about earlier, this
(31:47):
human side of me is like,but no, everything is going. And
so this year has just been Ifeel like I've been in the ocean,
being tossed around, thrown about without any ability to do anything about it.
And I just feel like I've beenin a super tumultuous like thing where
(32:10):
you know, and then I getoff, I get out of the ocean,
and literally like everything's gone. AndI have just like I've been working
so hard and I put all ofmy energy into my business because this is
what I'm here for. Like Ihave such a massive vision that it paralyzes
(32:30):
me sometimes because I'm like, I'mjust a human, Like how the fuck
am I going to do these things? And so I was talking to a
friend when I was in Seattle abouthow like and I'm not tired, as
in like I need to go takea nap, Like I feel it in
my bones, just like this deepsoul exhaustion where I'm like, I'm tired,
(32:52):
and so when I saw that shirtyesterday, I was like, oh
my god, I so need that. And then I've also been being like,
okay, so, Universe, literallyland my next lifetime. Can I
please come back as a housecat,Like I just need a lifetime where I
just chill out and people pamper meand they pet me and I get fed.
I was talking to someone about it, Yeah, exactly like Chewy is
(33:15):
right now on Taius's bed. Iwas talking to someone about it, and
They're like, well, if youwant to be a cat, be a
lion, and I'm like, butnot, that's for their married. Yeah,
they have to work for their food. I literally just want to chill
the fuck out because on a soullevel, I am tired, and it's
just something that I've been retreating alot. I've been creating a lot of
(33:37):
boundaries to make sure that I'm selfcaring, like we talked about a few
weeks ago, and yeah, I'mjust I feel like I'm just in this
exhaustion and I can feel myself comingout of it. I know that I'm
coming out of it. You know, my book is almost the first draft's
almost complete, I'm making all theseother moves, and I'm just I'm so
(34:01):
tired of being in the like hustlestuff of business, Like I just want
to be there already, and Iknow that there is no there, and
it's all these constant conflicts of like, you know, everything's perfect, but
I'm fucking tired and I want tobe there but there is no there,
and like just this constant back andforth. And so I've been doing my
(34:22):
best to eat really amazing food,watch Amazon and Netflix, which I usually
don't like to allow myself to do, you know, floating and massages and
just like really giving myself that nourishmentthat I feel like I need if I
am really truly going to complete thislifetime like I feel like I set out
(34:44):
to do. No, that's mychallenge right now is I'm just fucking exhausted.
Well, thank you for sharing.Yep. Yeah, I feel like
and as we talked about the beginningto like it's so easy to look at
people's instagrams and and you know belike, well why is it so easy
(35:06):
for them? Like even those oflike there's always something and it's not to
say that, you know, mysocial media isn't true, Like I you
know, fourth of July posted thisamazing photo of me hanging out with four
of my people and it was literallyone of the most joyous, soul nourishing,
fulfilling, like happy, laughter,loving nights ever. Like, that's
(35:30):
very true. I'm doing my bestto be present in the joy that is
here, be present in the momentof like what's available to me right now,
and in the juxtaposition of that alsothis deep like oh my god,
are we there yet? Yeah?Yeah, no, I feel you.
I feel like this is something thata lot of especially entrepreneur's face is this.
(35:54):
I mean, we're constantly navigating thetwo arenas, but this sense of
when am I going to get there? You know, I've been working so
hard to get there. I've beenso committed to this. I've moved,
I changed my entire life for this, Like one, am I going to
start at least getting to the placewhere things start to just move ease?
(36:15):
Like with ease. Yeah, butimpatience has been coming up a lot for
me lately too, like so muchwhile I was born early And my mom
laughs and she says, that's indicativeof my love of I's my mom's labor
went on for I think I thinkshe her water broke at noon and I
(36:37):
didn't come out until like five orsix am the next day, and I
Gotti tortured your mother. Indicative ofme. I'm like holding on being like
no, no, I don't wantto go, don't throw me into that
new situation, like I just wantto stay right here. I'm can I
be right here? Super indicative ofmy personality. Yeah, yeah, it's
(36:58):
fascinating how we both have had suchunravelings in the past seven months, Like
you said, like independent of yourself, independent of ourselves, and it's been
it's been a whirlwind. There areWhat I found to be extremely helpful for
(37:22):
me was to really re examine alot of the beliefs that I carried that
were no longer kind of aligning andsupporting me my new kind of chapter.
I will say, I will saybefore I go out, you know,
I had a vedic aschology or domy chart and he looked at my chart.
(37:45):
I sorry, sure, I toldyou this right pretty like he looked
at my chart. This is liketwo three years ago, Yeah, like
three or two or two three yearsago. He looked at my chart and
he goes. So you have achart of transformation, you're pretty much always
going to be transforming. And Iremember thinking that sounds fucking exhausting, That
(38:05):
sounds egg exhausting. But I willsay because I've transformed so many times in
my life, and I've gone throughso many iterations of my life and so
many like new steps in my life, and they've getten more and more the
sense of completion, in the senseof like, ah, yes, embodiment,
like yes, I'm I'm here,and I'm sure I will get to
even the next evolution and next Butbecause I've done it so often, I
(38:28):
start to get to know how todo it pretty well. And one of
the things, yeah, it doestheoretically become easier. Although when you're in
it, like when you're in themoment of it, you're like, oh
yeah, it's only when you stepback and you're like, oh right,
I've done that before. Okay,so now we can move on, because
we don't even know that you're everything'sshitting you know, you know, you
(38:50):
don't even really know that everything islike fucking falling apart until it is,
and then you're like, shit,that's everything's falling apart. So one of
the things that I have found thatit makes it easy, not easier,
that's the wrong word. That makesme more aware is to really look at
what beliefs I'm caring and is thisreally now in alignment with this kind of
(39:13):
new phase. And it could bebeliefs about myself, it could be beliefs
about the world. When I firstwent through my major metamorphosis and how to
dargnut of the soul moment around mybing cheating and I started to find God
for the first time, that wasone of the first time. So I'm
like, Okay, what beliefs doI have that are really not supporting me?
And this was not a conscious conversationbecause I didn't even know about beliefs
(39:36):
then, But looking back now,I'm like, Okay, the belief that
it's a dog eat dog world outthere is not helping me right. The
belief that I don't deserve to beon this planet, like that's not working
out for me too well, andreally shifting. And so this time around,
there's been some big shifts around mybusiness, around marketing, around universal
principles and energy that I'm like,it's not that the BELI leaf is not
(40:00):
right, you know, it's justthat I just don't care to really entertain
it, right, Like I don'treally care to think about it too much.
It's like a snake, you know, like they don't carry around their
same shell your whole life, youknow, like they move, they shed
their skin, and they move on, and they grow a new skin,
and then they shed that one andthey move on. Yeah, and you've
(40:21):
got to know when to let go, because I think that that's the hardest
part in all of it, isto them to be like I got to
just let go that this is nolonger serving me. Like like for me,
I think that all like universal principlesyour people, like law of attraction
stuff like things that I used toteach and be completely committed to, like
like attracts, Like you know,your thoughts create things. And I'm not
(40:44):
saying it doesn't. It's not thatnow I'm like, thoughts don't create you
things. It's just at one pointthose thoughts and beliefs used to run my
life and run how I operate,and now I'm choosing a different set of
beliefs to run my life and tofind So I need to make this abundantly
clear. It's not that I don'tquote unquote believe in these things. It's
(41:07):
that they're just not my primary emphasison how I navigate things because I wasn't
finding that to be useful for me. But I don't plenty of people that
find it to be useful for them, And that's the point. You've got
to find what beliefs feel good foryou. Oh, here's a stupid example.
I think we talked about this ina podcast like vision boards. Here's
a stupid example. I fucking hatevision boards. They sound great in theory,
(41:31):
but my personality if I keep likeI don't like to go shopping if
I don't have money, as in, I don't like to try things on.
If I'm like, oh, I'mgoing to try it on and pretend
like I can buy it, butI'm gonna I'm not gonna buy it.
Not that I can't afford it,but I have an abundant somebody I'm just
choosing not to buy it. Yeah. Fuck that. It's never excited me.
I've never been that type of person. If I have the money and
(41:52):
the resources, I will go outand get what I need and it's great.
So why was I then carrying ona vision board of all the things
that I one day would have,but I don't have now. For some
people like Bree, I know,he's so driven by her vision, and
she has that connection with her visionlike that drives her. I mean not
necessarily vision boarding, but visions driveher. For me, seeing this car
(42:15):
that I right now I'm not inthe capacity to have did not excite me.
So I just chose a different Poliefesystem. Again, it's not that
thoughts on great things. It's thatI just wasn't going to entertain vision boards
anymore because it wasn't working for me. And I think that that was the
biggest thing that we both have found, is that we've got to find what
(42:37):
works for us. You know,Bree with her boundaries and her nutrition and
her at what's working for her tocreate a solid base while she's in this
mega shift. And yeah, Ithink you have a kiddie behind you.
I do have a kiddie behind me. This is Percy. Hi. Percy.
Percy is a kiddie. He's likeone one and a half. Yeah.
(42:57):
I was gonna say, I don'tthink I remember meeting Percy when I
was there. No, Percy's new. So for those of you that don't
know him house sitting in Seattle rightnow, and Percy likes to hang out
with me. I'm in the tower, which is their fourth story. It's
like literally this little like nook.It's really cute. Percy loves hanging out
with me while I'm up here writing, and yeah, that's been one of
(43:17):
my systems for success. Thank God. Well, I have my two kiddies,
and then when I leave LA,I have cats all over that I
just go visit. And so Ihave three cats right now that are amazing,
and they're loving me and taking careof me and and helping me surrender
and helping me be in the presentmoment and helping me have loads of laughs
and enjoying the ride even though thingsare exhausting and sticky and you know,
(43:45):
everything right now. So I thinkthat's been the biggest thing that's really been
helping me. Is presence is reallyjust being in the moment. And I
would never find that what is thispresence you speak of. I'm allowing my
heart to be in what ever stayedit's in in the moment, you know,
like and crying when I need tocry, and just you know,
(44:06):
all the things. I woke upthis morning having realized that I had tossed
my keys away, just bye byekeys. I wish it was more romantic
too. I wish I was likeI was swimming with the dolphins in the
ocean. One of the dolphins justlike grabbed my keys and then he swam
off into the sunset. No,no, no, I was not being
(44:27):
mindful, and I just tossed thekeys into a bag that we didn't use
later as a trash bag. AndI woke up feeling that so fun about
it. And I'm just letting myselfnot feel that fun about it. And
it goes. You know, it'llchange. Yeah, Yeah, that's the
one constant in life. Change.You're so wise. Transformation. Man,
(44:51):
that's a quote no one's ever heardbefore, not getting it's true though it
is. I know so many isit true? I know so many of
the cliche things are so I mean, they are obnoxious, and like even
the let it go thing, you'relike, shut the fuck up. But
for gratitude, My mom always like, be in gratitude, everything will come.
But we're so so much we obsessedover a gratitude having to look a
(45:15):
certain way or be a certain way, or like, oh I'm grateful for
this, but not this. It'slike no, No. Radical gratitude is
like a full body experience that literallyeverything you have is good, everything that
is here is good. It's likeit's not it's not a list. It's
not all ten things I'm grateful for. It's like, wow, can I
be in radical gratitude right now forall that I have? And we we
(45:37):
don't. We don't. We havea list, but then we also have
a list of things that were notgrateful for, and uh, that defeats
the purpose. Yep, it's nota grateful but you don't get to be
like I'm grateful. But it doesn'twork that way. YEA. Yeah,
radical gratitude it could actually it actuallyit's it keeps you sane. It may
(46:00):
not take away your pain, butit keeps you sane in the pain.
And I think that really that's allwe can do. That's all we can
do. Yeah, So thank youeveryone for hearing us through our challenges,
and we invite you to look atwhere you're feeling challenged in your life right
now and maybe how you can bea little bit more vulnerable with it as
(46:22):
well, because if you want tobe vulnerable, you're welcome to goal into
our Facebook group be amplified dot communityand share with us, you know,
hold space for where you're feeling challengedright now, because it's it is really
powerful to be witnessed in your challengeswithout being fixed, without being judged,
(46:43):
without being of sound like me,without being like So come with epic words
that are coming out of your mouthright there. I do what I can,
So come share with us you're whereare you're feeling challenged and how you
know how we can be in thesechallenges together because you know we're on this
(47:04):
journey as humans in a collaborative,connective way. And uh yeah, peace
out Girl Scout by Amplifiers Go tothe Yellow by Jinks
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