Moll Anderson {on moving through grief}

In this week's episode of Be Amplified we dive into the conversation of grief and loss. We also share our thoughts on how to use healing modalities to support your grief. We are joined by Moll Anderson as she shares her thoughts on color, beauty and the power of intentional environments. Get the shownotes at www.TheAmplifyCollective.com.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You are listening to be Amplified thePodcast with Brie and Tays Episode fifty nine.
Hey Amplifiers, welcome to be Amplifiedthe Podcast. My name is Tayis
and I'm Bree Seeley. We arethe co founders of the Amplified Collective,
a movement aimed at radically disrupting howpurpose driven women connect and operate in the

(00:21):
world, because we believe it's notjust what you do, but who you
are that matters. Each week,join us for messages and interviews that will
leave you feeling amplified and ready tochange the world. Let's do this.
Good morning, Amplifiers. Bree Seelyhere and tis guy. A happy Monday.

(00:44):
It is not Monday for me,but it is Monday for you.
It's kind of like we live likein a time war situation. We're always
coming out here from the past.It's like time is an illusion. Well
it is an illusion, it doesn'tactually exist. It feels like, you
know, when John Oliver or youknow, any of the late night guys
go on, they're like, well, we recorded this earlier, so we

(01:07):
don't know if the world is deadby now. If it's dead, it's
funny. So one quick announcement aswe always do, inviting you to come
join us in person. We arehaving an event next week in Los Angeles
at the Grove with Michael Cores.There will be shopping, there will be

(01:29):
champagne, there will be all sortsof snacks and treats and amazing women and
hugs. Yes, and gosh,what else can I add about that?
It's going to be amazing. Gettickets, That's what you can add.
Get tickets now a sap for theevent. We're really looking forward to it,

(01:53):
and Michael course is donating tapers onthe proceeds. Yeah, so shop
purchases that you make, so yeah. So you can get tickets as usual
on the Amplified Collective dot com quickon the events tab and it will take
you to the correct place to joinus and get on the guest list.
Yes. So we have a reallyincredible guest today. Mall is doing really

(02:20):
fun work in the world with colorand we are going to dive into that
conversation a little bit later. Butsomething that she shares very vulnerably with us
is on a conversation of grief.So Brie and I wanted to spend some
time talking about grief before we bringher on, let's do it. What

(02:42):
do you got my starting? Areyou starting? Who starting? I guess
I could start. So grief sucks. We all grieve, We all have
reasons to grieve in this very human, messy life of ours. Grief is
a very natural and normal state.You know, people die, we get

(03:04):
sick, people we love get sick. We lose things, we break things,
we lose relationships. I mean,gosh, there's just so many things
that kind of go unexpectedly as wenavigate life, and grief is such an
important emotion that allows us to rinseand release and it helps us step into

(03:28):
a place of letting go. Toooften, the logical mind wants us to
let go first maybe then your griefsome other point in the future. But
what I found is that when wecan really hold space for our grief,
it actually teaches our body, teachesour mind to let go gently, you
know, depending on who or whatthe circumstances. So grief is important.

(03:52):
It's important to grieve, it's importantto know how to grieve. It's important
to you know, be tender withour grief and to not really have an
expectation on time with grief. Ifeel like we often expect ourselves to move
through grief for this specific amount oftime, but grief comes in waves,
you know, and really can't predictit. And I think grief is kind

(04:13):
of a lifelong thing. You know. There's experiences that I've had twenty years
later my dad's passing, that itjust hits me from out of nowhere.
And it's those unexpected moments that popup that that very well could stay with
you for the rest of your life. And it's for me, it's just

(04:34):
been really important to remain open tothat and allowing that to have a space
in my life no matter where Iam or what I'm doing. Yeah,
And I've actually found, you know, in the past, it's been much
easier for me to think that it'sbetter not to grieve in the moment.

(04:55):
Yeah, especially you know, especiallywith my dad's passing. You know,
he's been the only close person andhe wasn't even that close to me that
I've known that's that has passed,and I didn't know how to do anything
about it or process it, andso I was like, well, then
I just won't and I hit pauseon it and didn't really start even looking

(05:19):
at how sad I was about theexperience until I don't know, eight seven
or eight years later. And Ithink that's one thing that I hear a
lot about grief is that people don'tknow how to grief. Yeah, I
talked about people don't people People justdon't know how, Like how do you

(05:44):
grieve? Yeah? Is there aright way? Is there a wrong way?
Do you know? Yeah? Yeah? Do I have everything in?
Do I allow myself to be acomplete hot fucking mess? What's you know?
And I think the thing to remember, of course, is that there
never is a right way for anything. Your way. And I think,
yeah, the one of the largereasons why grief is so hard is because

(06:08):
we're not seeing how it is done. When we don't see our elders grieve,
we don't see, you know,when we attender funeral, everyone is
very held in and you know,back back in the olden days, you
know, back in the olden daysfive years ago, like back back back
back back in the day, hundredsof years ago. You know, the

(06:30):
way that we moved through a funeralwas by women would just throw their bodies
and just release and let it go. And it's this emotional experience and yelling
and crying and hitting and fighting andreleasing and that is just so necessary for
grieving. But you know, nowwe go to a funeral, everyone is

(06:51):
stoic, you know, trying tohold tears back, so yeah, somber
um and not really having a containerto allow any expression of grief. So
then the wonder we don't know.You know, my partner, he's Jewish,
and I've been a few years agosomeone very close to him and passed

(07:13):
away, and so I saw howhis family and how he navigated grief in
the Jewish tradition, and it's reallyreally beautiful how they honor grief and how
they hold space for grief. Andsomething that they do is that, you
know, for a certain amount oftime, the direct family members of the
person who passed away are not allowedto lift a finger. They're not allowed

(07:33):
to do a single thing. They'renot allowed to go to work, they're
not allowed to clean a house,they're not allowed to cook for themselves.
Everybody else, the outside members ofthe family, are the ones that are
responsible for taking care of them andfeeding them and cleaning up after them,
and their entire their whole responsibility.The only thing that they're responsible for doing
for that set amount of days Ithink it's seven or fourteen, or maybe

(07:56):
it's longer. But the only thingthat you're supposed to do during that time
is grief. And I just lovethat so much that that tradition really honors
that this that we need a periodof that. But when it's easier to
see it when it comes to death, right, But we don't make space
to grieve when it comes to thingsthat aren't quite as extreme as death,
or different types of death, likedeath of a project that you've worked so

(08:20):
hard on and then you realize,you know, it's no longer really aligned
with your work or whatever and youhave to let that go. Or the
death of you know, you lostsomething that was very near and dear to
you, you broke a computer,you know, whatever. It's like,
there's tiny moments of grief that cancome up, and if we don't make
space for those as well, howare we supposed to move forward into something

(08:43):
new. I think we live ina culture of replace. You know,
we lose a friendship, we replaceit with another. We lose a computer,
people by another yeah, yeah,so we are just constantly trying to
fill the whole. And so youknow, I think death teaches us that
there's some holes that we can't fill, and that's okay too. And I

(09:05):
think that there's something really holy indeath for many many reasons. But I
think that we should honor death moreoften. But we don't. You know,
again, look at how we treatthe elders in our culture. We
tuck them away in fucking nursing homes. We put them away. They're no
longer productive, so we don't evenlook at them. They're nuance, a
nuisance to society. We can't evenlike acknowledge them because they're like fucking useless.

(09:30):
And look at how that's changed,right, Look at indigenous cultures and
how they treat their elders. Theelders are the wise beings of the culture,
of the tribe, of the community, and they treat them as such,
and they're honored and revered. They'renot put away in a nursing home.
So it's clearly indicative that we livein a culture of new, new

(09:50):
new, and death is bad andwe have to replace in this strap have
you heard, though, and I'mnot fully knowledge well in this, I
feel like you if you've heard ofit, you would be more But uh,
there's a new anti anti aging campaigncoming out that one of the makeup
or you know, skincare companies orwhatever is replacing the term anti aging because

(10:16):
it, uh, you know,it basically teaches us that aging is bad.
Yes, and so, um myintern was just telling me about it.
I think it has to do withGlamour magazine and anyways, So there's
this whole movement that's going to becoming out in the next few months,
probably very publicly in the news.Um well, let's be real here,

(10:39):
the movement's always been there to respectto elders. This company is just choosing
to capitalize it for their own marketinggames. I mean, as much as
we can say that. You know, these companies are doing great things like
Dove and their campaigns of you know, women's imparients. At the end of
the day, they're just capitalizing onwhat they feel will get people to buy
their products. It's great. Yes, it's innovative because it spreads the message.

(11:03):
I get it. It's not allbad or good. It does spread
the message, and I think it'san important message, which is what you
know, that's what people look tofor their truth. They look to fashion
magazines, they look at billboards,they look at movies and you know,
we can't not look everywhetly, especiallyin La. Go down a street that

(11:24):
doesn't have a billboard up, Idare you find run? I know,
I know, not including the Hollywoodhealths. I opened my window and I
see a billboard right there. Sobut yeah, yeah, So the point
is, you know, there areso many deaths. You know, Buddha
says, you know, a thousandjoys and a thousand sorrows is the human

(11:46):
existence, and there's death everywhere.And I think instead of running away from
it, it's time that we redefineour relationship with grief and with death.
And um, you know, thecliche but very real statement is we don't
really we can't really live until wefully embraced Another Buddhist story. You know,

(12:11):
there's um a monk who carries arounda mug and it's his favorite mug.
You know, this is the mugthat he's always seen caring. And
his followers aren't like his you know, they're like what the fuck? Like
you preach like non attachment and everythingdies and you know, so how are
you here? You know, alwayscarrying this specific mug and he goes every

(12:33):
time I go to pick up thismug I imagine it dropping, and I
imagine it breaking, and I'm wornfor its break, and then I celebrate
that it is not broken. Andthat's really true unattachment right that he can
he knows that this can go atany moment, and because he lives with
that truth that this can literally breakat any moment, he gets to enjoy

(12:54):
it and accept it in such adeeper way. I think that's really before
only we could all live our livesthat way. I feel like I've had
to kind of go through a littlebit of that with Oliver this year.
Oh yeah, really, that's yeah. So my cat had bladder surgery in
January and I went through it waslike a whole six week process where even

(13:16):
after the surgery, I was convincedshe was dying, and even before I
went to Seattle in June, Iwas convinced she was dying because she wasn't
eating and not going to the bathroomin all sorts of stuff. And I
have definitely had to go into theplace of, you know, being accepting
of losing her and being accepting.And I've already made the decision if she

(13:39):
gets bladder stones again, i amputting her down. And I've already come
to that conclusion so that I don'thave to make that decision in the moment.
But yeah, it's been a journeythis year of coming to peace with
the idea of losing something that's beenmy heart and soul for a sven years.

(14:00):
Yeah. But one other thing wewanted to address in this conversation is,
you know, Mall is doing thisreally cool thing with using color to
help people process their trauma and theirgrief in their life, and so I
wanted to kind of open up thefloor and talk about how what a cool

(14:20):
time that we live in in thatwe get to tap into and access so
many different kinds of ways to processour grief and to process our hurt and
to process our wounds because you know, for so long the only acceptable modality
has been therapy, and some reallybeen acceptable. Well yeah, yeah,

(14:41):
I guess there's a lot of stigmasaround that too. But um, you
know that not everyone's ready for that, Like, not everyone's ready for the
deep, deep, deep soul innerwork in processing what they've experienced in their
life. And that's okay. Andso what I love about this conversation that

(15:05):
we'll have is that there are somany different options available to you. You
know, if you feel like you'renot ready for one thing, how can
you even just open a sliver ofsomething, be it through color therapy or
raiky or acupuncture or you know,whatever it is that's calling to you that
feels safe to you. Because ifyou're going into some sort of healing process

(15:28):
feeling unsafe, it's likely that thehealing probably isn't going to occur. Yeah,
I would also like to say,just real quick about therapy and healing
work, is that if you're workingwith the right therapist and the right healer,
right coach, or whoever, they'renever going to take you beyond what
you're capable of going. That's asign of a good therapist. So if

(15:52):
you're worried about going too far,going too deep, not knowing where to
start, you know, you'll beamazed at how mental the practices and how
slow It's taken me ten years toget to where I'm at using the same
person, you know, So it'sa it's not that certain therapists or certain
healing modalities are going to take youthere faster. The reason why healing modalities

(16:14):
work is because they are meant toaddress you exactly where you are and take
you to the depth that you're readyto handle in that moment. And I
think that's important to know because sooften there is a stigma therapy. There
is a stigma of what that meansabout you. There is a stigma that
you know, it's all woo wooor frou frou or or whatever, but
it's actually really, really incredible thecapacity that these modalities have to offer no

(16:44):
matter where you are. Yeah,that's a beautiful point. Yeah, just
fall to say that, but yeah, yeah, I mean, gosh,
let's see. I mean, Istarted with my spiritual therapist ten years ago,
right off the bat, because that'swhere I was. I had just
experienced my first couple bouts of bingingingand my mom was like, do you
want someone? I'll pay for it, and I was like yes, And

(17:07):
that's how that started. And youknow, it's taking me a few other
modalities for me to obviously get toEmma, it's not always just one path.
You know. Yoga has been atremendous hub for me, and so
has you know, doing a lotof reading and doing a lot of research,
going to a lot of different typesof experiences like fun things like sound

(17:27):
bath, healing and you know,fun things to just get me out of
my comfort zone and help me bringthat back to the work that I do
with my therapist and say so Ihad this experience and then we get to
dive even deeper in our one onone work. Yeah, and remembering too
that any of the treatment modalities thatyou choose to proceed forward with is not

(17:52):
is not what's healing you. They'rethey're just tools. So whether it be
a therapist or a coach, ora sound or raiky healer or whatever there,
it's not The healing isn't about thething. It's not about them.
The healing is about you. Andyou know you're being open and willing to
process whatever comes up in the momentum. You know, I see with the

(18:17):
coaching industry so often people give theirpower away. Yes, and so you
know it's not. Yes, there'sgreat raky providers out there in great acupunctures
about there out there, and youknow all these things, but if you
weren't at a place to receive thehealing in the first place, it wouldn't
matter who is who is practicing onyou. Yeah, and just add another
nuance that just came into my headno one needs to be healed because you

(18:40):
are not inherently broken, right,there's nothing that needs to be you know,
healing the same thing as like transformation, Like it's this life changing program,
this is going to change your life. Why does your life need to
be say changed so bad? Youknow? I mean, like, there's
nothing inherently wrong broken, it needsto be fixed about you. And so
when you go into these modalities withthat in mind, you're going to find

(19:04):
some really good shit. But ifyou go into this place feeling like you
are deeply broken and you need tobe healed and someone else is going to
heal you, then that that's whathappens, right that breeze talking about where
you lose your power and you giveyour you give your power away to other
people. So we're talking about healingmodalities, but let's add this that little
bit of reminder that it's called healingmodalities, it's called healing practices. But

(19:29):
there's there's no destination. People like, like, where do you think we're
gonna go? Like that's where I'mso like, where where are we going?
We're just rushing to our deaths?And then what what are we reincarnated?
Like, what does that even mean, like, yes, we all
love the idea of reincarnation and pastlives, but bhitch, please, like
most of us don't remember our pastlives, or we're not going to remember
this life. So even if wedo reincarnate, whatever that looks like,

(19:52):
no matter what happens in the afterlife, you don't you're probably not going to
remember this one. So why don'twe like spend time really like honing in
like this us right, instead oflike trying to run to some sort of
fixed state where that everything will behappy and you will never grieve again.

(20:14):
Yeah, I mean, I've reallyespecially, I mean I've been playing.
I love the idea of playing withthe full depth of the human experience,
and that's really been a theme inmy life this year, is fully fully
allowing myself to experience the joys andthe excitements and the celebrations and fully,
fully, fully fully allowing myself toexperience the sorrow and the grief and you

(20:37):
know, possibly having to administer alethal injection of something to my cat.
You know, no, but i'dhave to hold her little paw while they
do it. Or you don't technicallyhave to do that either, I would
have to be in the room.I can't abandon my being. I'm just
saying, I know. I mean, my family's dog went down this year.

(21:00):
Yeah, I know a thing ortwo. Yeah. And you know,
we like to label and judge thatas like a bad bad experiences,
bad emotions, bad this, badthat. And just remember, you know,
every situation is neutral until we putour expectations on it. And so
why is grief bad? Why isloss bad? It's not you. It's

(21:23):
just another experience that we get toadd to our repertoire of things we did
while we were human. I don'tknow. I actually think that the most
tremendous, the most tremendous stuff comesfrom being in deep grieving. Like I
think when you're most broken is whenthe most divine things can come through and

(21:48):
come out. And I've seen thatto be true in my life so many
times where when I was grieving,wrenching my heart open, lamenting, screening,
yelling at God why why you know, breaking down on my knees,
that's when I got it, youknow, That's what I got the it,
whatever that it was of that time. I love Robell. I love

(22:10):
his work. He has an incrediblelike I think it's like a four part
podcast episode called Lamentations, and it'sso good. There's all part of the
Bible that's about lamenting and lamentations andI literally know nothing about it, but
he dissects it from a very beautifulin a very beautiful way, and he
talks about it like, gotta letit out, gotta let it out.

(22:33):
So whatever you're listening here, whateverhealing modality you need to go to,
that's going to allow you to letthe fuck out, let it out,
let it grieve, and get intocontainers, other people's containers that they're going
to be able to hold space foryour grief. Whoever that is be,
you know, choose wisely, butthen surrender it all, give it your
all. God, the most incrediblethings can happen. Grief is not bad.

(23:00):
Grief is a blessing. To givea visual to you know what Tis
just said about being broken open,It's like when when those cracks form within
you, when we allow our shellto break, when we're in that place
of like really feeling broken and reallyfeeling down. It's in those cracks that
you know, God is allowed toHe's allowed to slip in. And we

(23:22):
walk around so often with these shellsof like keeping everything out and so being
broken is actually a really good thingbecause it allows God to come in.
Well, God's always in, Yeah, it's as we get out of the
way. We are often not opento God coming in. You know,

(23:42):
we walk around with with these wallsand these fortresses and all these things,
and we don't allow it. Andby breaking down, you know, yeah,
I believe that we don't have tosuffer to learn. But that's how
most of us do is by beingin that state of pain, by being
in that state of brokenness, thatthat cracked shell that things really allow us

(24:03):
to transform. Yeah. Well,you know, the Buddha says suffering is
inevitable, it is a part ofthe human incarnation, and so we might
as well learn how to navigate it. And he didn't mean that like life's
gonna suck and you have no choice. You know, he gives tools to
how to like not suffer as much. But I think ultimately what he meant

(24:26):
by that is things are going tohappen and are totally outside of your control
that are going to wreck you,and you get to decide how you're going
to navigate that. You know,It's like you get to decide every time
a wave hits you, what you'remaking that mean about you and really giving
ourself space to grieve is a partof that process. Yeah, it's it's

(24:52):
what the shedding is, grieving andshedding. Oh wow, this has been
a real uplifted conversation. Maybe weshould close, Maybe we should close this
section on a high note. Dowe want to close it on a high
note? No? I think people. I think people can handle I think
people can handle it well. Inthe second half of the conversation, we
get pretty deep into color, whichis pretty, which is fun. Yeah,

(25:15):
so yeah, all right, amplifiers, enjoy Mall's interview and find us
on social media. Come clean glasseswith us next week in LA and yeah,
let's do this. Oh hey,Amplifiers, do we have a wonderful

(25:44):
guest for you today. You realize, Brady, you start every single best
interview I know, but we literallythe same thing. We only have good
people on our podcast. Like,I mean, it's pretty true. I
mean that is true. But youstart with the same intonation, with the
same words. It's basically like thesame thing. It's fine. We can
be like John Oliver how he startshis TV show like the same way at

(26:08):
the beginning, We'll just be likethat. That's fine, okay, Okay,
I'm good with that. Okay.Let me tell everyone about Miss maul
Anderson before we get started. So. Maul Anderson is an accomplished author,
television and radio host, inspirational interiordesigner, lifestylist, and advocate for women
and children globally. Her career hasbeen filled with many professional achievements, including

(26:30):
winning an Emmy, being chosen asone of Donna Karen's Women Who Inspire,
and a three time recipient of theGracie Awards. Mall is a woman of
many trades. Her lifestyle and interiordesign acumen have been enthusiastically embraced by readers
of her four home and lifestyle books. She's a regular contributor to The Doctor's

(26:52):
TV Show and a guest co hoston Fab Life, and she has appeared
on numerous other television and shows.She's also been featured in in Style,
Cosmopolitan, USA Today, and Alongwith her professional work, mal is a
dedicated philanthropist, focusing her energy onmany deserving causes. She's an advocate for

(27:14):
survivors of abuse, and she commitsher time and resources to improving and protecting
the lives of women and children inher community and internationally through her work with
such organizations as Habitat for Humanity,Boys and Girls Club, and Yunisath.
Mall splits her time between Dallas,Texas and Knoxville, Tennessee, with her
husband Charlie, and their two CavalierKing Charles Spaniels Winston and Harlowe. We

(27:40):
love puppies, We do welcome.It's actually been a third added to that
you read this, so I'll tellyou about that later. What's the third
one's name? Winston, Harlowe andLula Bellula Belle. I've been talking to
my partner about getting a second dog, and when I said that, sabre,
she looks at me, like,you're getting us second dog. I'm
like, don't look like it's sucha big, outrageous idea. Okay,

(28:04):
just two cats. A second dogis one thing. A third dog is
a whole other energy that I don'tthink my husband and I were even prepared
for. Oh my gosh, Ican only imagine. But it was an
emergency though, So I'll tell youmore about that after. Oh my goodness,
I love it. Well, let'sstart by asking you what does it

(28:25):
look like for you to live andamplified life. Well, first of all,
let me say I think everyone shouldstart their day by having you guys
read their bio. So when you'rewhen you're really feeling down and out and
wiped out and exhausted, you go, wait, okay, good, I
can just lay off today and kickback and put my feet up and enjoy
the ocean because I'm supposed to beon vacation. But when you guys read

(28:48):
that, I think it's so nice. It just comes a little reminders to
allow yourself to let go. Sothank you for that permission. Today you
are welcome. We're welcome, andthat is a service the Tyson I consider
incorporating into the Amplified collection. Peoplecan just pay us. Honestly, it's
a great thing. You know.It's like going and getting you know,
validation for parking only. I thinkthat they should add by the way,

(29:11):
you look wonderful today, Oh thankyou so much for smiling so big,
because it just made my day.You just radiate life and love. You
know what I mean, We payenough for valet. They should validate us
as we should be what it reallymeans. I think we should be pricing
it like probably what like a thousand, maybe two thousand dollars for that five

(29:33):
minute bio. I think that seemslike a fair well, thank you for
that. Well, I tell you, starting my amplified life, I have
to tell you you've gotten me ina very real and precarious state of mind.
And and I have to tell youmy normal amplified day of how I
would start would be jumping out ofbed, exercising, getting my senses all

(29:56):
you know, in my decks ina row, as far as okay,
I've got my flowers going, myhouse looks great, I'm dressed for my
day, the dogs are good,and I start my day. Well.
Last week, when I was inthe middle of my book tour on I
think it was well almost three weeksago, March seventeenth, I got a
phone call that my mother had fallenfor the second time. And I went

(30:18):
from a fabulous blogger lunch, aTV morning show before that, and Nieman's
gave me a cocktail party too.I thought I was going to see that
my mom was okay and that nothingwas wrong, but in fact she had
taken a turn for the worse,and the next day I went into hospice
with her and I led hospice untilthe twenty fourth of May when my mom

(30:41):
passed away. So it was adifferent kind of thing. I will not
lie to you. I can't pretendthat I'm not in a different state right
now, but i will tell youthat what I thought about that question about
being amplified, I thought, well, today, more than ever, I
had to kick myself in the buttand pick myself up by my big girl
panties. You know I really did. Yeah, thank you for sharing that.

(31:06):
Well, I think that. Youknow, I was in Target the
other day and I had to gopick something up, and it was actually
before my mom had passed. Iwent to go get some nightgowns at zipped
or buttoned or something, and I'mstanding in line. I'm looking at all
these people in line. I said, oh my gosh, I'm that girl
today. I am that girl inline who they don't know what's going on

(31:27):
in my life, and they haveno idea that my mom is fighting for
her life. And I'm going tolook at everybody differently when I stand in
line at the grocery store or anywhere, and I'm always going to say to
myself, you know, I hopethat whatever they're going through it's not painful,
or if it is, I prayfor a special blessing on them because

(31:47):
it's so interesting to be in themoment and aware and to realize that you're
that girl at that moment, andit was so profound for me, you
know. Yeah, I feel likedeath reminds us so much of our humanity
and of how short the stuff is, and it immediately brings us back to

(32:08):
our values are why are what's importantto us and what's not exactly exactly?
And I think, you know,it's a good reminder because you know,
my mom lived a really good life. She was going to be eighty eight
in August. She lived a full, over the top, wonderful life.

(32:28):
So some people you can look atit that way. And she has Alzheimer's.
She had she had Alzheimer's, excuseme, and so in some ways
she was very blessed to have nothad it go into the full out,
you know, not knowing who Iwas. We were very close, and
she had moments where she wasn't recognizingme. But in some ways that's another
you know, you try to gothrough the list of what was positive,

(32:49):
what was negative, and it's neveryou know positive to lose someone, but
to know she's in a better placeand didn't have to go so far over
the edge to the point where sheabsolutely didn't know me. So that was
a very positive thing and in allof it. But I will say this,
it's always the same. No oneever when they're about to pass ever
worries about, you know, whatthey didn't do enough. It's always about

(33:12):
oh my gosh, I did Ilive my life? Did I did I
was I passionate? Did I lovepassionately? Did I do enough to help
other people? I mean, it'ssuch It really puts you in a frame
of mind where you have to regroupand say, Okay, I don't want
to be on my deathbed. Iwant to make sure I'm doing all of
those things right now. I wantto make sure that when I meet someone,
I really see them for who theyare and reach out to them.

(33:35):
Do you just never know who couldbe in need? And it's really shifted
my perspective. So if we may, can I talk about grief real quick?
Is that? Absolutely? I'm init. I am deep in it.
Yeah. So I'm curious what thewhat the grief process has been looking
like for you and how you've been, you know, maybe taking care of

(33:55):
yourself for or maybe navigating having toappear and put yourself out there in one
while privately dealing with such a bigevent. Right, Well, I have
to tell you I'm the tough one, right I'm the one that everybody comes
to and they're going through their stuff. And I love being that girl,

(34:16):
I really do. And that's whoI've always been. And I've never really
had to say, oh my gosh, I might need help or I might
need something. And I found outthat when I was going through this hospice
process, and I took lead onthe hospice. That meant I actually stayed
and slept in memory care next tomy mother. I never left her side,

(34:37):
and I'm the one who had togive her the medicine and all of
that, and I broke the cardinalrule of caregiving, and that was I
didn't take care of me. Andto anybody who's out there, it's really
interesting because hospice told me that alot of times that the loved one who's
going through and going to the dyingprocess will wait until their loved one finally

(34:58):
goes and get some rest to passso it's not traumatic on them, and
so I think I was going toI was. I was just be damned.
I was gonna be there, youknow, And I did leave.
Finally my husband came and said,Okay, you're going to fall apart,
You're going to collapse, and Iwas. And we drove to the hotel
and I got a phone call sayingher breathing a change. I mean,

(35:20):
we drove one hundred miles an hourin SCOTT'STLLE was so lucky we didn't get
pulled over and we got there intime, and I did get to see
her and say those last few words, which was really great. But I
have to tell you, it isso different when you're the one that's supposed
to be like totally cool and haveit all worked out and you've got a
book that's out and it's about changingyour life. And I'm out there going,

(35:45):
okay, this is great, andI'm like, oh no, I'm
grieving. How do I do?I just put it out there. So
I appreciate you letting me be realtoday because I could have done the other
but I would have been really exhaustedat the end of it. You know.
Yeah, No, this is great. I thank you so much,
so it's been a few weeks now, Like what how are you navigating this?

(36:05):
Like what, Well, I knowthat you know, you're currently sitting
on the beach in Malibu or youknow, at your home look in the
ocean of Malibu, kind of tryingto recharge a little bit. But you
know, how how are you kindof navigating your heart during this time?
Well, you know, you havegood moments and you have bad moments,
and people call and they want totalk about it, and you go through
it and again you kind of puton that you know, oh my goodness,

(36:29):
this is I can do this.And then I couldn't find my ring
and I lost my watch, anddifferent things would happen that I would find
like it was okay to cry about, you know, and then I would
completely lose it. And my poorhusband got blessom. He's so precious and
he was just like, honey,you're not okay, are you. I
said, no, I'm not okay. My mom's gone, you know,

(36:52):
and He's like, I knew it. I knew it, and I just
have had such a tough time lettinggo. And at the same time,
because she died of Alzheimer's in theprocess, you know, of Alzheimer's.
Like not even eight days after Iwas I had committed to Maria Schreiber,
who I adore, who has movedfor minds, and in Dallas. I

(37:14):
needed to be there, and soI thought, Okay, wait, I've
got to get it together, putsome makeup on, and get out there.
And yet that turned out to bea very positive thing because I got
to talk about what's important about itand how every sixty six seconds, a
new mind is receiving Alzheimer's and wedon't know why yet, you know.
And two thirds of them are women, by the way, And and there's

(37:38):
so many things that we can wecan do that I feel, like my
grief and what I'm going through andliving in memory care, which is a
pretty scary thing. When you seewhat happens to the mind in Alzheimer's,
it really kind of snaps you toit to get a grip and to get
the message out there, because we'reall going to deal with this on on

(38:00):
some level at some point, whetherit's a friend or a parent or a
loved one. You know, it'svery intense thing. So I think I'm
using my time to kind of understandit better. I went paleo. I've
taken sugar out of my diet,all the things that I can do so
that I don't get Alzheimer's. Becausewhen I left my ring, I thought,

(38:21):
oh, no, it's starting right. Oh this is how it starts.
You lose your ring. And thenit's like, no, I'm moll
you know, it's not that.It's just you're grieving. You're not thinking
about every little thing and you justneed to go with it. So I'm
trying to be kind to myself.I've been enjoying, you know, a
nice class of wine or little tequilahere and there and just kicking back and

(38:44):
listening to the ocean. You know. So if you have maybe some words
of wisdom for someone who may begoing through their own grieving cycle, you
know, what's something that you wouldsuggest or recommend, maybe not something to
do, but just some words ofwisdom or guidance for them. Well,

(39:04):
the first thing is to be kindto yourself and to understand that you do
need to go through the process.It doesn't mean you're a weak person,
you know. I've had to fightwith that and wrestle that one myself.
It means that you have lost someoneimportant to you. And that's a big
deal. And it's going to comein waves, and some days are going
to be good and some days aregoing to be bad, and something might

(39:27):
trigger a menu, I mean menua memory. Food is another thing.
It becomes important when you're this,but you know, a memory will happen.
Like I was sitting here looking outat the ocean, and I remembered
all my vacations as a child,you know, growing up, because we
always went from Scott's Sale it wasso hot and Scot's Sale to the beach.
So in some ways it's very reminiscentto be looking at the ocean and

(39:49):
remembering those times too. So it'sabout embracing them and not trying to push
them out of you, you know, because that's the worst thing you can
do is pretend like you're not hurting. Just embrace it and take that energy
and say, what am I notdoing in my life? What do I
need to do to live a reallypassion filled life so that when my time
comes, hopefully a very long timefrom now, whatever that is that I

(40:13):
can, you know, really embraceand be thankful for the life that I
lead. And so I think thatthat's one of the most important things we
can do, you know. Yeah, that's beautiful, thank you. Yeah,
oh of course, Oh my gosh, I there's I like, have
you know, Tyson, I've bothbeen studying your book and are all like

(40:34):
prepared, and now I'm like,I don't even really want to talk about
that. I mean, we should, we cannot, But you know what,
it's all connected, you know,it's so connected the things that are
helping me through this here at thebeach, even though we're just renting this
house, you know, we don'town it. But I still find myself
saying I need to have fresh flowers. The first thing I did was go
to the grocery store and buy abig, huge bag of oranges and lemons

(40:58):
and grape fruit, and I putthem in big beautiful bowls in my kitchen
and a hot, hot orange,beautiful full of energy flowers, you know,
and put them in vases and myfavorite candle, and I just I
created an environment that was healing forme, especially in a rental, when

(41:19):
you're coming into a space that mightnot be uniquely yours, by taking the
things that are so easy, youknow, Like I packed up my beautiful
orange throws that I had in anotherroom and I picked up a few things
too, and I chose orange becauseof the energy that it has. And
for me, it's a very energeticcolor and it's it's healing because it's got
warmth to it, you know,So it gives me both what I need,

(41:40):
warmth and energy. And I evenbought orange towels. My husband's all
excited because they're the color of thisfootball team, I meanever City, Tennessee.
And as I look out the windowhere on the chaise lounges, even
though they're kind of older and beatup, I've rolled very inexpensive towels from
Amazon, you know, rolled upfor dollar Beach shelf, and they're rolled

(42:01):
up and they look beautiful. Andthey've made those dingy old you know,
chase lounges really come to life.So I do believe in what I talk
about in this book and my otherbooks, and I do, without even
thinking about it, go immediately towhat I'm comfortable with, and that's experiencing

(42:21):
my senses. Whether you're in ajoyful time, a grieving time, a
loving time, a family time,at whatever it is, you need to
create an environment that is warm andit embraces you no matter what. And
that's turning on the music as well. You all of these things, it's
it's visual, it's all the senses. You know, we learn about that

(42:43):
as a child, you know,we learn about our eyes and ears and
nose and you know, all ofthe things, the smell, the visual,
audible, all of these things.They are there for a reason.
God created us so we could reallytake in life and you would be amazed.
You guys, how many people don'tput a fire in their fireplace.

(43:04):
They don't buy themselves flowers. AndI'm not talking about spending thousands of dollars.
I'm talking about going to rouse.For goodness sake, you can buy
yourself, you know, a bigbatch of flowers for like twelve bucks,
you know, or a farmer's marketand bringing these things in and creating an
environment that's yours. Yeah, Ilove talking about this idea of using sensory

(43:28):
aspects in the healing process. AndI think I love that you brought in,
you know, not just color,but with the citrus like you know,
the smell and the taste and thesights and all of these things to
really support you. So I'm aTaurus. I'm a very much a Taurus,
and external environments are like everything tome. When I moved into my

(43:51):
house, pace was like I don'tunderstand. Like I refurnished everything. I
got rid of all of my oldstuff and got all new stuff. And
then at one point she was like, oh, I know why you you
know, filled your home the wayyou did with all the sensory things that
you did, because you're a Taurusand like you need that stuff. It's
like, it's like a sense ofsafety to me to have this this sensory

(44:13):
experience in you know, my personalspace. Well, and that's so good
that you know that. And thetruth is everybody needs it, but you
are in tune with it because ofthat. But we're trying to also let
people know that they need to havethat same passion that you normally have and
if unless they're taught it at ayoung life or understand it, they're missing

(44:35):
it, you know, and they'rejust going home and throwing the groceries in
the refrigerator and putting their feet up. They never turn on the music,
they never even light your candles.I'm talking about every income bracket out there,
they all do the same thing.Or if they're single, they're they're
like, well, I'll wait untilI'm in a relationship and I think,
you know what's wrong with you?This is your life right now. You

(44:58):
need to do this for you,you because you were the most important person
that will ever step out into yourhome. And they just look at me
like, oh, I never thoughtof that, you know. And now
and even adding an additional layer tothis, something that I teach my women
who are leaders and who are wantingto run their own events, and and

(45:22):
they're talking, you know, talkingabout like Lefty leading a workshop, is
that the more that you include sensorythings into the workshop, the more likely
people are going to remember the contentthat you shared absolutely and how they felt.
And so one particular experience I hadis I went to this three day

(45:43):
conference about two years ago, andshe made music be a very important element
of the experience. And at thetime, I was like, Okay,
more woo woo songs, Like nota big deal, but I liked some
of them. Some of them arecatchy, So I downloaded them on my
way from the con friends, andto this day, if any of those
songs play on my playlist, I'mgetting immediately drawn back to where I was,

(46:07):
how I was feeling. That inspirationthat sense of open heart in this
in the moment. It's really cool. That's awesome. Well, music is
so important, and I think weall need to have, you know,
a song that's our theme song.I think we need to have a playlist
for when we get up in themorning and have energy in our house.

(46:29):
Well it well, it changes fortime to time, you know, and
I've got to pick a new onefor right now. But I you know,
I tend to at this place inmy life anytime I hear something from
Earthwin and Fire, which that's probablyold for you guys, you know,
Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, isn't I'm do you remember it's not

(46:51):
one of their big songs. Yes, isn't that start Yeah, September,
that's right, yeah, or celebratesyou know, any of those songs,
or I mean, let's face it, even the theme from Rocky is kind
of fun. You know. Whenyou hear an anthem song anything like that,

(47:14):
it gets your blood going and pumping. Anything that makes your heart happy
and gives you energy, Any musicthat makes you want to like tap your
toes and start dancing, that isa song you need to incorporate in your
daily life and have it playing inyour car on your way to work,
I mean, or when you're workingout, look at the difference of having
great music and how it gets yougoing. Or have you ever been to

(47:36):
a big football game and all ofa sudden they start playing these great songs
through the loudspers? Yes, exactly, exactly. Sorry, I'm sorry you
opened my mouth and now I can'tstop saying anything. No, I love
it, No, I love it. It's so true though, right Well,
the thing that I like about thisconversation is that, yeah, we're
talking about it with music, butyour specialty is the same actually creating the

(48:00):
exact same thing, but with color. So like, yeah, it's fun
to sit here and you know talklike sing all the earthwhen and fire songs
and stuff. But it's also truethat, like when you're working out,
are you wearing a color that inspiresyou or are you just throwing on the
thing that was like laying on thefloor. Like when you're decorating your bedroom,
are you decorating it with a colorthat you know invokes love and good

(48:23):
feelings versus a color that you knowwas something that you hated as a child
and is bringing back all this negativestuff. You know, absolutely well.
You know, the truth is whenwe look at color, it's not just
with our eyes. We do takea color as a full sensory experience.
So if you grew up in ahome that was loving and fabulous and it

(48:45):
was a beautiful, serene blue andeverything was great, then you are one.
Look you good. You know that'sawesome. But the majority of the
world goes through some real reality stuff. And it could be as simple as
your brother used to come and punchit in the back all the time just
to drive you crazy. And hisroom was this really, really awful blue
to you. And so every timeyou see that color, you don't know

(49:07):
why you get a headache or youdon't know why you don't like being around
it, but it's affecting you becauseof that. So it's getting people to
go back and understand that that.Yes, there are color experts in there
who can tell you, and Ican tell you the energies of color.
Colors do stand for energy. Butif you have had a negative experience that

(49:27):
has impacted your life with a certaincolor, that is not the color you
need to be painting your walls inyour house with. I love that.
I think it's a really great perspectiveto take on because we don't think about
how these things impact us, andwe don't realize that color is energy.

(49:49):
It is full energy. It affectsour moods, our feelings, our behaviors,
everything, and if we don't getin touch with that, we are
losing out. And it's just likeyou said, picking up that old thing
to work out in well, whetheryou're going for powerful black, which yes,
black is a color. I getso much crap from people when I'm
in black. You know, they'relike, wait, you are the color

(50:10):
girl. I just were a gownto an event in Dallas and it was
black and white, which was oneof my favorite combinations because of the contrast.
You know, it's like high impact. And it was like, wait
a second, you're the color girl. I'm like, okay, let me
just like preface this with black isa color and so is white. They
go, No, it's absence ofcolor. I said, no. Gray

(50:30):
scale is absence of color. Grayscale a black and white TV from the
old days, which you guys wouldhave no idea about, is that's gray
scale. When we see a picturein black and white, it's not in
black and white, it's in grayscale. If the picture were black and white,
you wouldn't be able to see it, you know, totally. So

(50:52):
I'm curious. Let's talk about yourbackstory. How did you kind of get
to this? How did you decideto write a whole book on this?
Like, where did this inspiration onlove for a color come into your life?
Well, it's kind of funny becausethis is the second of my Changing
Home, Change your Life books outof my four and by the way,

(51:13):
we became a New York Times bestsellercongratulation. He was really exciting. I
think that every author you know wasalways hoping and praying for a moment like
that. But honestly, I cameby this naturally. When I started this
book, I had fallen in lovewith color, changed everything, knocked out

(51:35):
all the walls of our home inKnoxville, Tennessee, and I said to
my husband, I'm just craving lightsand I'm craving color, and I'm just
like, oh my gosh. He'slike, this is great. I love
that. And so we were kindof going through this experience together and I
started writing the book and I wastaking pictures, and then like a month
later, I woke up in themiddle of that, and I'm like,
Charlie, my god, and he'slike, what is it. Oh my

(51:57):
gosh, I'm onto something. Irealized I fell out of love with color.
And he goes, wait, whatare you talking about? I said,
when I had gone through trauma asa child. When I was four
or five and six, I hadbeen sexually abused by a family friend.
And it was over a long periodof time. And it was during that
time that I realized, going backin my memory, that I had been

(52:20):
so affected, so affected by mylove of color, because it completely went
away. I ended up spitting myteenage years and going into my adult years
not only making bad choices in mylife because of the things that I had
gone through, but also I wasknown for just, you know, wearing
dark lipstick, dark hair. Ihad black hair. I mean, I

(52:45):
really just didn't feel comfortable with color. I felt like, you know,
if somebody put color on me,it was like I was crawling out of
my skin. And I could notunderstand it. And people used to say
to me, oh, my gosh, you know, you just seem to
love black, that's all you where. Well I didn't realize it, but
you know, I literally was creatingatmospheres and became very successful creating dark,

(53:07):
seductive interiors for other people who wereprobably going through the same thing I was.
But I literally went from house tohouse and was incredibly successful. But
it wasn't until I started changing itand going on my journey and being open
to understanding what had happened to meand how it correlated with color, and
started studying way way back, tryingto find anything I could. I was

(53:30):
so hungry that I started to realizeI was onto something that was actually groundbreaking,
and at the same time got hintsfrom other things through research. So
there I was in the middle ofa book, rewriting the book already before
I even finished it, so Icame by it naturally, honestly, that's
amazing. Yeah, it was.It was like, oh my gosh,

(53:52):
I'm writing a totally different book.So we went from interior design and you
know, and decorating to self helpflash interior design for our bist codes.
I literally should be in the selfhelp section. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
And I feel like that almost connectsconnects the two in a more meaningful

(54:13):
way. I feel like interior designcan often feel so elusive to people,
so out of touch with their budgetand reality, even though that may not
be the case. So I canjust feel like this air of superiority and
brought it, you brought it kindof down to earth and making it more
meaningful for people's challenges. Now Ilove that so much. Well, thank

(54:37):
you. You know. I didn'talways have the success in my life,
and I went through so many things, and I had gone through relationships that
were so negative for me. Andit wasn't until that I went and did
the work myself and worked through things. I mean, some people are just
lucky they meet the person that's rightfor them and they are grounded in their
life and they've had all the toolsand they understand things. I've got the

(55:00):
stamina to work through it. Youknow, I had to go and work
through it. It's like I alwaystell people, don't ever feel like you're
bound by your past, and don'tever look at yourself in the mirror and
say, you know, woe isme, I have screwed up. They
need to say I have gone througheverything that I needed to go through in
order to become the person I amtoday. And it doesn't matter. I

(55:22):
tell people whether they've been married athousand times, whether they've been in bad
relationships a hundred times, whether they'vedealt with alcohol or abuse or any of
the things. They are not definedby that unless they choose to be.
And today is a new day,and however they live is going to be
the shift. And you can alwayssee it in people's homes, whether they

(55:43):
really care about themselves, you know, or whether they're putting themselves through hell
by sleeping on the floor and beingyou know, and trying to make themselves
feel like they are really you know, feeling all the anguish they should for
being a bad person, you know. And what they don't understand is they
can just start over today. Andyou may not have a lot of money,
and oh my gosh, I leftseveral times with my small child and

(56:06):
had to like figure it out.But no matter what I did, I
could create a warm and wonderful environmentfrom my child with nothing. I mean,
whether it was just finding inexpensive youknow, things from my home or
flowers from the yard or whatever Iwas doing. It doesn't have to cost
a lot of money. It's justwhatever you feel inside you need to put

(56:29):
out there and create that warmth.You could have a boombox for goodness,
sakes, you know. And thankgod music is so cheap today that you
can have music coming off your phone, you know. So the thing I
love about your book one, it'sbeautiful. Like the second I opened the
box, I was like, it'sit's gorgeous, like the tactically like I
said, taurusts. Like the colors, the touch that everything, like it

(56:51):
smells good and everything. The photosare beautiful. But I love the worksheet
pages. Oh, the journal pagesI've got. You know, I really
wanted this book to be interactive.I wanted people to grab it and say,
you know, I can figure thisout. You know, they don't
have to like have some big appointmentwith somebody or any of that, just

(57:14):
to start the process of trying tounderstand things, you know, I mean,
just I love just a question that'sso simple, is you know,
did you have the most used whatcolor did you have that was the most
used crayon in the box? Andwhat is it? What was it?
Do you even remember? You know? And you know what, people usually
answer that one pretty quick, orthey'll say that the color they hate they

(57:35):
always know, they always know,and and so just trying to get people
to go through this and answer questions, and I wanted them to go ahead
and write in the book. Andit's funny, I can always tell whether
people have actually read the book becauseI'll say, oh, it's such a
beautiful table book and I'm like,great, Oh my gosh, I said,
and it's a wonderful book if youdecide to read it, and they're
like, oh, I'm going toI'm going through. So you know,

(58:00):
I wanted it to be a lessonand I want I went through this book
a thousand times and said, howdo I get people to understand what I'm
saying. It's like I read itover and over again. That's why I
wanted my Moll's thoughts in it.And then I wanted a color lesson in
a color story, and I wentback and put them into each and we
had to add more pages because Ihad Nope, it is not it's not

(58:22):
specific enough. I want them tounderstand how they can incorporate this, and
so I really hope at the endof it that they'll really have an understanding
of how to do something for There'sgreat design advice in here, and none
of it's over the top. It'sall in how you see it and how
you want to incorporate into your life. So I hope that they understand all
the lessons in it because it's reallyimportant. So we're gonna put a book.

(58:45):
We're gonna put a pin in thisconversation, Tyson, I just figured
out this analogy this. We're gonnaput a pin in it, and we're
gonna take it over to the extended. We're like, do you put a
fork in it? You put night? What do you stick in it?
We had a mental are earlier.It's a pin. You put a pin
in it. I want to takecomplete credit for that. I am the

(59:06):
brilliant one. We're putting a pinon this conversation. So tell us quick
where people can find you. Ah, they can easily find me on Instagram
and Facebook and Twitter and my website. It's all mal Anderson. So I
don't have any weird you know anything. It's just Mall at mal Anderson,

(59:27):
you know, And it's so easyto find and and I'm I hope that
they can find me, and Ihope that they. I love to hear
from people. I want to heartheir thoughts on the book and what they
did understand or didn't or I mean, I'm happy to answer questions always cool,
I love it. Well, Amplifiers, meet us over in our Facebook
community, that is be amplified Dotcommunity. We will be talking with mal

(59:52):
Moore about her color story and maybea little bit of Tyson Mice color story
and until well tell you to.You want to tell everyone where to find
us? Yes, they can findus at the Amplified co on Instagram and
all of the other what Facebook,Twitter, Twitter, all these webs Yeah,

(01:00:13):
everywhere that you expect us to be, we are there, but definitely
in our Facebook group, the amplifieddot community. We look forward to seeing
you there and in the meantime,go be amplified. Go be amplified.