August 14, 2017 • 50 mins
In this special episode, we turn the script and interview one of our co-hosts, Thais Sky as she shares her thoughts on living an amplified life by knowing who we are. Check out the show notes for more information at www.TheAmplifyCollective.com and learn all about Thais' work in the world at www.ThaisSky.com.
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You are listening to Be Amplified thePodcast with Brie and Tyis Episode fifty eight.
Hey, Amplifiers, welcome to beAmplified the Podcast. My name is
Tayis and I'm bree Seely. Weare the co founders of the Amplified Collective,
a movement aimed at radically disrupting howpurpose driven women connect and operate in
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the world, because we believe it'snot just what you do, but who
you are that matters. Each week, join us for messages and interviews that
will leave you feeling amplified and readyto change the world. Let's do this.
Good morning, Amplifiers. Bree Seelyhere and today we have a very
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different format for the podcast, sothis will be the first podcast where Tys
is actually not joining me as aninterviewer, so I'm going to be doing
a solo interview. And the guestI have for you today is un fucking
believable. She is like one ofthe best humans in the world that I
think I've ever met. And I'mnot just saying that, I actually mean
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that. And so let me introduceyou to today's guest. Do you like
this so far? Oh my god, I'm like dying I'm dying over here
trying to be quiet, So amplifiers, I want you to meet miss Tye
Sky, my guest unbe amplified forthe day. Hey. Hey, So,
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for those of you that don't know, Tys is two part sas and
one part straight up truth talk.I think people at this point do know
that, but anyway, I keepgoing. She is a motivational speaker,
author, women's leadership coach, andwomen's rights advocate on a heart led mission
to support the seekers, the visionaries, and the why the heck do I
feel so stuck of the world reclaimtheir worthiness by learning how to explore trust
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and express themselves unapologetically. Based onher own healing journey and decades of research
and mentoring women worldwide, she hasdeveloped a comprehensive model that explores and offers
tools and skills to help heel thepervasive sense of unworthiness within women, what
she calls the worthiness wound. Shereceived a prestigious first class degree in management
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and has studied spiritual psychology, yoga, and leadership for over ten years.
Washington Magazine named her as one ofthe top eight bloggers to Know. The
Huffington Post calls her an inspirational woman. Really that happened? That did?
Can you imagine that? And shewas nominated for Forbes Magazine thirty Under thirty
Award. You can learn more abouther and her online offerings at Iamtaysky dot
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com. Welcome, Miss tays Sky, Welcome to the be Amplified Podcast.
This is how our guests feel whenwe read their bios. I'm like,
wow, that sounds really impressive.Probably I'm an impressive human being. So
Phill's accolades and accomplishments. I mean, if you can't sell Brandham here,
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where the fuck can you celebrate them? I mean fact? Yeah, I
mean fact. Well, Tys,you may or may not know that.
We always begin our podcast with thesame question to each one of our guests.
So I will ask you that samequestion now and actually monumentous moment.
I think this is the first timeI've ever asked this question. Yeah,
usually I'm the one that asks itbecause I read the bio and you ask
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a question. That's our relationship.So now I get I get to not
only ask it for the first time, Tyas gets to answer it for the
thing. Maybe when I do you, I will read the bio and not
mess up so well, there's that. I took pretty good on our bios
for the most part. For themost part, some people's bios I have
to edit. All right, you'reready, Yeah, I'm ready, So
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Miss tis Sky, What does itlook like for you to live and amplified
life? You know, I didn'tprep for this, and in retrospect,
I can see how this is actuallyreally hard question and to answer without any
sort of preparation. What does itlook like for me to live and amplify
life? I think what that lookslike for me is to feel really at
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home within yourself, to know whoyou are, to know your limitations,
to be able to honor those limitations, and really be able to express and
be your true self unapologetically, withoutthe self hate and the nagging and the
inner criticism and the constant barrage ofself deprecation that I feel most of us
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are constantly navigating through. I feellike when we can get to that place,
we can know who we are andwe can express that and it can
be that. I think that's whenwe have the true potential to then go
out and be the visionaries and theleaders and the world changers in a really
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deeply impactful level. So this issomething I've been thinking about a lot lately.
You mentioned, you know, nothaving those the voices and the inner
self talk and stuff that kind ofkeeps us down. Do you think it's
possible to one hundred percent eradicate thatvoice in our humanity or is it just
so? How do you navigate thatvoice and being in the space of being
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empowered and all that stuff? Yeah? Yeah, No, I definitely don't
think we I mean, there arebeings who I believe have eradicated those voices.
Buddha and Jesus Christ start to primeexamples, and I feel like that
is ultimately reaching another vision of theworld is when we are at that place?
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Do you do you think Jesus hadno doubts? No, he had
doubts. He had doubts, andhe said it even on the cross.
And that's why that's why the storyof Jesus Christ is so inspiring. Right
even on the cross, on thecross, as he was dying, he
has a moment of doubt and hesays, why God of you forsaken me?
And I love that humanity about him, And that's what's so beautiful about
him is that he is human.He is not some demi god or super
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good living on the human existence.He is human. But the very kind
of next sentences forgive them, forthey know not what they do. And
so he was able to then quicklyremember who he truly is and who he
truly was. And that's what I'msaying. So, so I do think
that they have reached a point wherethey don't they don't take the doubt as
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who they are. I guess that'swhat I'm trying to say. So I
don't know if it's ever possible tofully eradicate that voice, because that's how
our mind is wired, that's howour humanness comes through. But we can
come to a place of deep remembering. So I love this story. There's
a story. So I love Hanuman. He is a monkey god in the
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Hindu tradition, and he's the storyis really inspiring to me. You know.
He Um was helping the Prince Ramafind Rama's kidnapped wife Sita. So
Sita was kidnapped and Hannaman was workingwith a clan of monkeys to help Rama
find the find the princess. Andthey Rama went in one direction and Hannaman
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went to another, and they wentto the edge of India where um if
they could, you know, justa few hundred miles is Sri Lanka.
And an eagle comes by he goes, oh, yeah, like I saw
the demon king, like he stoleSita, Like they're on Sri Lanka.
And all the monkeys are like,okay, what are we gonna do together?
And one monkey was like, youknow, I'm gonna leap fifty yards
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and another monkeys like I'm gonna leapa hundred yards and um. Some of
the monkeys looked at Hanaman being likeHanaman, like you can make the sleep?
You're you're a god, like youcan make the sleep. And Hannaman
was like, I can't leave toSri Lanka? Are you crazy? Like
I can't do that? Just amonkey. And the eagle comes to Hanaman
and says, Hannah, m youare a god, and let me remind
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you that you are a god.And so the ego shares all these stories
of what Hannaman has done in hislife, how he was able to lick
the sun like a lollipop or youknow, he's able to do all these
things. And as he was tellingthese stories, Haneman grew in size and
grew in confidence, and he wasable to leap to Sri Lanka and find
Sita, and then they engage inthe whole battle anyway. So what I
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love about that story is that Hanamanrepresents all of us where we always are
in a state of forgetfulness, wherewe've forgotten who we really are. And
when we remember, when we canremember who we are, we can do
anything. Anything is possible. Andso my goal in my life is to
clean the mirror or clean the glassthat is my heart that is constantly thinking
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that I am, these doubts,I am, these these human problems I
am. It's all about Mimi,me and my problems and my concerns.
Cleaning the glass that reminds me thatI'm actually so beyond that. And I
think we can when we can reachthat point on a more consistent basis,
we can navigate our challenges with deeperawareness, deeper grace. We can hurt
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people less, we're kinder and nicerto people, and we make life less
about us and our preoccupations and moreabout how we can serve the world and
serve humanity in a greater way.Beautiful, I do what I can sometimes,
I think, so we all stillhave doubts yes, and doubts are
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normal. Doubts are normal, youknow, doubt and is an indication that
there's something here, there's something big. Fears normal bullshit quote unquote. I
hate people say bullshit liviting beliefs.They're not bullshit. They're very real.
They're here for a very specific reason, very specific purpose. One of the
underlying premise in my everything I doin my work is that everything we say
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and do has a positive of intention. Every thought that we have, every
fear comes from a positive intention tokeep us safer, to keep us protect
or whatever the intention may be.I don't believe that human nature is gent
is malicious. Yes, we havemalicious acts, but usually that maliciousness comes
out of a deep defensiveness, andthat defensiveness is created out of a deep
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fear and a deep need to feelprotected. So if we can shift our
approach to self help and shift ourapproach to bettering ourselves instead of from the
perspective of I'm broken and I haveall these bullshit limiting beliefs, and that's
the reason why I don't get everythingI want to. I have to push
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through these bullshit beliefs and then I'llhave all the money in the world.
What if we could instead ask ourselves, well, why do I have these
boots? Like, what's here?What's underlying this? What's the anxiety?
What's the need to be safe?Can I protect myself? Can I help
you know? Can I see myselfand develop the type of self awareness and
understanding of my psychology that I canbe gentle with myself in this process?
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Can I honor that this is mylimitation right now? Can I be do
the inner work of knowing where thisis coming from and how we can begin
to address this, and when wecan take that kindness inward, I find
that the whole process of developing ourselvesactually becomes a really pleasant experience rather than
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another tool of self hate and selfannihilation. Yeah, yeah, I mean
we have talked about this. Wehave I'm a I'm a first ten guest.
I don't when have we talked aboutthis? I have a conversation.
You know. The whole idea ofjust like eradicating a limiting belief is basically,
you know, I love my analogies. It's like weeds, right,
so you go out to the gardenand would basically just be like cutting off
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all the weeds at the surface likejust get rid of the limiting belief,
you know. But if you're notdoing that underwork like Tys just mentioned and
really healing the roots of it,they're just going to grow back. You
have to go underground, you haveto dig up what you can't see and
really work to heal that and ask, you know, what it's they're serving
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you for and move past that stuffso it's not just regrowing all these weeds
back in your garden again. Yeah, And that's so that's been what I've
been studying. I study shame andguilt. I've been studying, you know,
childhood psychology and attachment theory. I'vebeen studying so much of Wanting to
get to the root of somatic experiencingis another thing that I've been studying a
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lot, Like how do we getto the root of the quote unquote bullshit
limiting belief so that it can changewithout us consciously trying to change it.
Because here's here's what I'm noticing,what I'm seeing. I while the while,
it's very easy to say that everythingyou want is just a decision away,
Like if you're not making money,that's a decision that you're making,
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and you just have to change thatdecision, so that while that's true,
oftentimes our decision are deeply unconscious,and the majority of our lives are actually
deeply unconscious. Something like eighty percentof our lives has run through our unconscious
mind and through not really being autonomous. So we really grossly overestimate how much
autonomy we have in our lives.So I'm deeply curious, Okay, if
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that's the case, and if weare quote unquote making these choices, when
did we make that choice? Whenwas it a conscious choice? You know?
Where within us are we continually choosingthings that are hurting ourselves? Like
why why do we get into theseaddicting patterns? Why do we get into
addictions? Why do we hurt andself sabotage ourselves? And I've been so
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fascinated by this because based on myown experience with binge eating, you know,
my binge eating stemmed from a deepbelief that I didn't belong on this
planet, that I'm unlovable, thatI'm deeply undeserving, unworthy, right,
And so yes, while my bingeeating, I guess you could say,
is a decision, it's extremely simplisticto say, well, then you just
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gotta decide not to binge because yourmind is binge eating for a reason,
and it has nothing to do withthe food and has everything to do with
something underneath that. And so that'swhat I've been so so deeply obsessed with,
is what is that underneath? Whatis that? What is that layer?
And when we can get to thatlayer, I'm finding in my work
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and in my work with my clients, so my self, work and beyond,
we actually change without forcing ourselves tochange. Right, It's kind of
like we start, let's say,just for simplistic reasons, we start to
meditate, without saying we should bemeditating. We just naturally do it.
So we just my binge eating kindof just started dissipating on its own as
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I did the inner work. Ididn't have to consciously, you know,
be like I'm gonna stop binge eatingtoday. I'm not gonna bingie. I'm
gonna not binge, and you know, putting that in my mind over and
over and over again. And soyou know, I've gotten to the place
now where I don't binge and Idon't calori account and I never thought I
would get to this place, never, And it was not it was not
a conscious It wasn't it wasn't.You know, it's a case it was
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a conscious decision to do the innerwork to heal the beingeting, but it
was not a conscious decision like today, I'm not gonna calori account and then
that that ended up being the case. Yeah, So that's what I've been
doing a lot of work in andI think what's important to note to,
like specifically in the sample example,is that you didn't heal your binge eating.
You healed what was causing your bingeeating. Because if we you know,
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if we go out and say I'mgonna heal this habit or this pattern,
that pattern is going to represent itselfin a different area of your back.
It's just going to look differently.And then all the same habits and
triggers and um drugs in your brainand beliefs and all the things are going
to continue to be perpetuated. It'sjust gonna look different because you're notating,
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because you're not addressing the reason whyyou've been cheating. If we treat being
cheating as the enemies, then ofcourse we just want to attack the enemy
and make it go away. Butinstead, if we are to get curious
and whatever anxieties are coming up foryou? What's underlying this? What's underneath
this? And can I can Iapproach this from the perspective of this is
here to help me? How isit actually stopping me from how? You
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know? How is it actually nothelping me? But it's it thinks it's
helping you. Something that I've beenreally it's something I've been asking all of
my clients. It's actually a reallyfun question to ask yourself those of you
who are listening, is when obviouslythose of you who are listening, who
else would be even listening anyway?I mean, I'll ask myself the question
when you're when I find out whatit is? How's that is when you
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start to notice your inner critic gettingreally loud, And when you can really
notice your inner critic is to askit, how old do you think I
am? And what we'll find isthat the inner critic tends to think that
we're in the single digits, Thatwe're anywhere between the ages of three to
nine is where the inner critic believesthat we are. And come that's like
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mind blowing, Like when I learnedthat and I started to ask myself that
I was like, oh, mygeez, Like, my innocritic really thinks
it has a job to do.It's protecting a seven year old from a
very harsh world, and so it'sgoing to brade ourselves and it's going to
be mean to ourselves in order toprotect our little kid, our little seven
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year old. But I'm not sevenyears old. I'm twenty eight years old,
and as a twenty eight year old, I can actually navigate life through
some relative confidence, except when itcomes to calling insurance companies. No confidence
there. But for the most part, I don't need this inner critic that's
berating me as a seven year oldbecause I'm twenty eight years old. So
it's really cool to realize this becauseit gives yourself some perspective and then you
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start to being able to be kindto the inner critic, and in return,
it starts to dissipate something really coolto play with. Very nice.
Yeah, so let's shift gears alittle bit. I know you're gonna love
this question because right before we goton here, Tyson I were talking about
sentimentality and how she didn't realize howsentimental she was. So we just hit
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our two year anniversary of Amplify.Yes, And we've been doing the podcast
for about a year and a halfand I want to know what has been
your biggest learning experience through the lasttwo years or the biggest gift in the
last two years that Amplifies brought you. Yeah. You know, when we
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start Amplify, we were making twohundred dollars a month and we still at
fifty fifty, so we were eachmaking one hundred a month, one hundred
dollars, but like, well,that's not sustainable. For like the first
six months we were making one hundredbucks a month. That's not sustainable.
You know. I would say thegreatest lesson that I continue to learn and
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that Amplifier has really accentuated for me, is that you'll never get to the
two year mark if you don't startat the zero year mark. Like the
confidence and ease that Brie and Ihave in podcasting, the confidence and ease
we now have at running events.You know, we kind of fly by
a suit of our pants in manyways, but we kind of just trust
that we're going to figure it out, but ship's going to come together.
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The confidence that we have in puttingourselves out there and feeling really good about
the Amplified brand. We love ourlogo, we love our website. It
all started because we were willing tostart at at nothing, you know,
and to start at uncomfortable conversations.I don't think I want to listen to
our first few episodes, but I'msure that people that do can tell a
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huge difference between when we started andnow, and we wouldn't be able to
be here, That's what I'm saying. We wouldn't be able to be here
if we didn't start then. Butwe all, all of us want to
already be here when we start.We already want to be the making the
ten million dollars at the get go. We want to have the beautiful website
and beautiful logo at the beginning,and we didn't start that way. You
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know. Our logo was remade itas cute as like camp and Campa,
and that's where we needed to be. And we didn't even have a website
for the first we had two hundreddollars a month, like, we couldn't
make a website. I think forthe first six months we didn't have a
website. We got it in March. Yeah, we didn't have a website,
and then we made it. Wemade our first website. Yeah,
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and for over the first year wehad that, that website that we we
didn't even invest in a good websiteor a designer until yeah after, I
think it was like a year infour months. And you know, so,
so start now, start now,for the love of God, start
now, whatever it is, startnow, start small, do something.
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You will gain the confidence eventually tobe where you want to be. You
know, it's so interesting people sayI'm so ready to speak on a stage
with ten thousand people, Like I'mso ready, but they've never spoken on
a stage in front of a hundredpeople. And you don't really realize the
intensity of speaking on the stage often thousand people until you speak on a
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stage with one hundred people and realizehow quite not ready you are. So
if you feel like you're ready tospeak on a stage in front on ten
thousand people, you're ready to havethe love of your life, You're ready
to make up a jillion dollars,and right now you don't have any of
those things. See if you canstart small, start somewhere, and you're
going to start to develop the skillsnecessary for them for you to speak in
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front of the stage of ten thousandpeople. So that's one of the biggest
things I think I've taken away fromthe past two years. But I am
extremely sentimental and not in everything.But I find myself just not constant.
What is it like, maybe fifteenpercent of my time, fifteen percent of
my time occasionally occasionally there you gowhen I'm driving, especially thinking back on
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my past, my past lives.I've lived so many iterations of lives.
My life in New Jersey, mylife in Maryland, my life in Boston,
my life in London, my lifein Brazil, my life in Japan,
you know, my three different iterationsof my life in Maryland, my
life in La So I'm just Idon't know. I don't know what it
is about my psychology. I justlove going back. I find a lot
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of comfort and also discomfort in mysentimentality. Now, has this sentimentality frequent
or has it just been recently.No, it's always been the case,
consistent. Yeah, I've moved arounda lot, so I feel like I've
built this as a way of rememberingthe things that I've left behind. You
know, when I was little,my mom didn't have any money. There
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were tons and she's told me nowthat she's had to decide between feeding me
and feeding herself, you know,not having money for the bust and having
to walk. You know, I'mvery, very very poor and um,
so we didn't really have a lotof stuff, and I didn't really have
a lot of toys, and aswe moved so much, you know,
we got rid of a lot ofstuff. So I don't really have a
lot of stuff in my childhood.So I feel like I developed this idea
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of being sentimental as a way oflike nurturing past memories that I don't have
any other way of accessing. ButI could be making that up, So
I don't know, interesting could be. I was just thinking like if it
was something that was just coming upnow for some reason, that maybe there
was something on its way that wasrequiring you to be sentimental or who knows,
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But no, yeah, I don'tknow. It's an always thing.
Yeah, I think so. Well, Miss tay Sky, if you were
on the other side of this interviewand you were interviewing yourself, what question,
what question would you wish that Iwould be asking me a free That
is such a copout. I knowyou are hilarious. That's such a good
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copout and such a question I answer. So here's the conundrum with that.
I had this arning I was inmeditation and I had like a few of
these questions pop up for you andthings I really wanted to highlight about your
interview. And then I had thismoment where I was like, Fuck,
I can't be too mean to Taiisbecause she's interviewing me in a few weeks
and if I really put her feetto the flames, she was a bit
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over. Harma is a bit Okay, let's talk about shame. Let's talk
about shane because I'm doing a psychologycourse right now on it and I'm learning
a lot of really useful information.So I mean, this is something we
haven't talked about on our podcast,and so let's talk about it. Um
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there, see that is this whatyou wanted? Break? Is this what
you wanted? Sir? Although that'snot a question, but here, Tice,
I care you're taking a course,would you educate myself and the listeners
just a little bit more on theintricacies of shame. Shame? Yeah,
okay, so fun fact number one. Shame is so good. Yeah,
that was beautiful. Shame is anemotion. It's an actual emotion, and
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people don't often know that because itfeels different than I would say typical emotions
feel. Because when an emotion likekind of feels like that is out,
like sadness, you just feel anover amount of grief that feels like that's
the emotion. Shame feels like it'skind of covering up so much other stuff,
and it is. The emotion ofshame is an emotion that's actually covering
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an incredible amount of other stuff underneath. So when that's going back to my
bench eating, when I binged eightafterwards, I felt an immense amount of
shame and the sense of being uncontrollableand whatever. And the more I did,
excuse me, the more I diddeeper work, the more I realized
that shame was like a condom.It was like preventing me from really feeling
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deeper squirty emotions that ill that toomuch? Is that chorus you took that
over? Yeah, I think Idid, um, But but it like
it's a shield that blocks you fromkind of getting intimate with all the other
stuff that's going on there. Butinstead of like forcing yourself to move through
shame, just like we shouldn't forceyourself to move through anger just because samas
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is underneath anger is its own emotionthat needs to be honored, and shame
is its own emotion that needs tobe honored. And shame um is actually
a very biological tool that we've inheritedfor thousands of years to keep us from
from towing out of line, thatwould push us out of the community,
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out of the tribe, you know, out of the communal living situation we
have going on back then. HSo, you know, shame would prevent
you from killing somebody else so thatyou weren't going to be exiled, because
if you're exiled, you were probablygonna die. So so shame kind of
stems from a very very deep,um unconscious place of helping you kind of
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stay in line. And then mostof shame is actually developed societally, So
there are different cultures that experience differenttypes of shame, and so's that become
a cultural tool to keep people inline. So I thought that was really
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fascinating because we often think of shameas an individual issue, when rather shame
is a collective tool, and differentcultures have different ways of raising a shame.
For example, you know, rightnow, we have fat phobia is
a real thing in our society.And yet the majority, the average woman's
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size is a size fourteen. Sothere are an incredible number of women in
our society, you know, inour Western society, almost a majority that
are not quote unquote skinny, right, and so there's this huge shame being
placed on women about their weight size. And you know, the shame comes
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a lot from inside the family,as opposed to let's say racism, where
it's societal. But you can findrespite in your family, right, You
find a sense of commonality of thecolor of your skin within your family.
So at least you have a familyunit that protects you. But with fat
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phobia, it's all the shame isoften also in the family. Um.
We can all, I'm sure remembera time when our mom may may have
made an offhand comment about our weight, or you know, we've made an
offhand comment to our mothers about theirweight. And so when we notice that,
okay, so fat phobia is actuallya cultural shaming device. Um,
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for a multitude of reasons, mostlyfor a beauty standards that women are supposed
to be aligning to in order forthem to be loved by society, we
can start to recognize it's actually notour shame to caring, it's not our
debts, it's not something that wehave to be taking on as our own.
There's a lot of shame in theentrepreneurial space in the coaching industry of
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if you don't make this type ofmoney, or if you don't have this
type of launch, then you're nota good entrepreneur. Then it means all
these things about you. And sowhen you notice that shame has come up,
it's a great place for you totake a pause and ask yourself,
is it really true that who Iam if I express it or to get
me kicked out of the community,is it really true? Sometimes it is
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true. You know, Brie andI have in the Amplified Woman, you
know a beautiful individual who has sharedthat you know she has some challenges with
money that may get in the wayof her relationship. So that is true
that shame she has around money,It actually could kick her out of that
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community. But then there's a typeof shame where it's it's actually a complete
illusion, like your fatness or skinninesswill literally not kick you out of society,
will not kick you out of yourjob. So it's really important with
shame that that first filter you movethrough as you're thinking about shame or I
feel really ashamed, is it reallytrue? And then whether or not it
is true will determine how you respondand how you act and how you then
(30:27):
heal that shame. Well, itsounds like too a little bit of like
is this my shame or is thisnot mine? Like if it's being placed
on you from society, that's awhole different experience. Then if it's yours,
and if then you need to ownthat and take responsibility for it to
heal it. Yea through it soand it causes a lot of anxiety.
(30:51):
It's like, we have this thresholdof where we are, which is down
here because you guys don't see meown videos, so you know you're you're
down here, and then where you'resupposed to be is all the way up
here, and there's a huge gapwithin that. And the where you're supposed
to be is based on a lotof things. It's based on society,
it's based on self expectation, it'sa lot of it's based on childhood psychology,
(31:12):
which I'm not going to go intoit today, but that gap is
what the inner critic is trying toabsolve that gap. Is what we are
so desperate to push ourselves beyond ournorm like beyond what feels good for us.
And so oftentimes, you know,there's the positive push of self development,
(31:33):
which is get uncomfortable, get uncomfortable, and that's to help close that
gap of where you are and whatyou want. But then there's the there's
the shadow side of that, whichis it only feeds the inner critic,
which then only feeds the shame ofyou not having what you think you should
have based on your age, basedon your looks, based on your hustle,
(31:56):
based on you know, society.And so we really want to be
careful when we're talking about that gapand when we're talking about getting people to
where they want to be, thatwe're not doing it from the shadow side
of pushing people to create stronger shameand stronger inner critic, because if they're
shame and if that inner critic isloud, you can bet that you're you're
(32:22):
not going to be positively motivated togo after what you want. And it's
going to be a deeply triggering andtrance like experience for people. And as
coaches and healers and teachers. Thelast one we want to be doing is
promoting anxiety within our clients and shamingthem towards bold actions that they're not quite
(32:43):
ready to take, because first wereally have to set a strong foundation of
where they are. Awesome. Yeah, I did hear a story recently a
friend who was working with the coachand how basically every time they got on
the call, the coach would justlike yell and tell this person like what
a piece of shit they were,and how they weren't doing enough, and
(33:04):
how they needed to be doing more, and that their their strategy wasn't good
and just all this stuff, andit's it's heartbreaking to hear that that's how
things are being like, how thingsare being manipulated in the coachingtry. Yeah,
and look at you know, shamewithin men um. You know,
(33:25):
the shame to not express emotions,the shame to not be able like to
care too much about their family,right, you know, the there's a
joke about the bros and then theone guy's married and all the bros are
like, dude, like, youdon't you know they'll get about us anymore.
That's shaming. Yeah, So whenwe shame men from being family people
(33:47):
or you know, being connected totheir emotions. It creates a toxic masculinity
that upholds the patriarchal mindset that youknow, men have to be a certain
way in order for them to benefitfrom our system. You know, when
we talk about patriarchy, we're notsaying that all men are bad. Patriarchy
doesn't serve men either. It reallyonly serves a very very very small number
(34:12):
of individuals. So we want tobe looking at making sure that we're not
using shame and shaming as a toolin any way if men, women,
coaching, industry, whatever, intaking in taking action, because it it
just ultimately isn't going to work.Now, there is a positive role shame,
(34:35):
and I've been really thinking about whatdifferentiates from the negative role shame,
which is what we're just talking about. What the positive role shame, the
positive rule and shame is. Inindigenous cultures, they used the tool of
shame to keep their kids, theirteens, you know, people who made
mistakes in line. But the waythey did it was it was very collective
(34:59):
base. So like they shamed youby by creating a whole ceremony around you
and dancing with you and reminding youof your collective, of your goodness and
your collective responsibility, and you know, embarrassing you and using the leveraging the
tool of shame. But it wasvery much a community love shame. Its
not makes sense. Where you werebeing seen, you were being witnessed,
(35:22):
you were being told that's not okay. But we believe in you and we're
going to support you into the behaviorthat is okay, versus the shame that
we use now, of like thecriminal justice system, where we just lock
people up and treat them as criminalsfor petty crimes, right, we treat
them guilty before proven innocent, andwe just lock them up and we don't
(35:42):
look at them, we don't evenyou know, we just put them away.
And they don't have any tools,any way of improving themselves, of
repenting of a tony there's no chancefor that. They're just stuck in a
system. And that's it. Soshaming, when it's done with a positive
intention and its done to bring thecollective or the individual to the collectives best
interest, can actually be a reallypowerful tool. But we've forgotten this tool,
(36:07):
and so we leverage shame in badways, and we leverage shame you
know, to get clients, andwe leverage shame to you know, remind
women that they're ugly, and soyou need to buy all these beauty products
in or to make women look pretty, and that's just not serving our society.
Yeah, awesome, Yeah, thanks, But we're close to being done.
(36:30):
I have one more question for you. Okay, one more how let's
see, what are you most proudof from this year? Twenty seventeen?
Jesus free. These are the hardass fucking questions. These are the type
of questions any major preparation for abullshit there. We had to have been
(36:52):
something that popped up. What wasit? What are you most proud of
from this year? Because I knowit's been a hardier for both of us.
It has been a hardier for bothof us. So I shared,
I shared, We shared, butI shared our challenges of this past year.
I think it was two two episodesago. Yeah, this is the
problem. I can't ask you thatquestion because we already answered it. So
I'm asking you all these other questions. No, no, I hear you,
(37:14):
I understand. No, No,I'm going with somewhere with this.
So we talked about our challenges.I think it was two or three podcast
episodes ago and then last podcast episodeor the one before last with Kelly Deals.
You know, Bree and I talkedabout the coaching industry and reclaiming when
I talked about reclaiming the word coach, and Kelly came on and talked about
(37:35):
the female Lifestyle Empowerment brand, andKelly's Female Lifestyle Empowerment brand model is what
create. It's what was the catalystto so much of the changes that I
implemented in my business in the earlierthis year. And then I've spent five
six months trying to figure out howI was going to market myself and put
(37:57):
myself out there and promote my workand be very proud of the work that
I'm doing in the world without leveragingsocial triggers and sleazy marketing that is very
rampant. It's not like sleazy marketingis only a few people. It's the
underbelly beliefs of the coaching industry isa lot of sleazy stuff. And so
I have to say what I'm mostproud of is, you know, the
(38:22):
fact that I'm currently launching a groupprogram and I've made a full commitment to
launch this program and show up inthis program in a way that I would
have never done before, and reallytaking a stand for the different types of
beliefs that I am now stepping into, like the beliefs that people know how
(38:43):
to make the best decisions for them, like the decision that you know,
I don't have to hide my pricepoint, like the decision that I don't
have to coerce people to sign up, like when people feel ready, they'll
be ready. And so it's beena really exhilarating and challenging experience because I'm
going against so much of what Ithought I had to do in order to
be quote unquote successful. But I'mreally proud of that, and I'm really
(39:06):
proud that of the woman that I'vebecome in the past seven months. I
mean, you know, I'm deeplyimperfect, but I'm able to stand in
my power more and be very veryclear on certain boundaries with my relationship with
my partnership with my parents, butalso just much more compassionate. In the
(39:27):
journey of awakening to my privilege andawakening to my role and responsibility in the
realm of being a human, I'veactually started to develop a deep love for
the human spirit and a deep lovefor humanity that I don't I can't say
(39:49):
I had before, which is ironic, right because we're coaches and we're supposed
to love people because that's the workthat we're in, but like an unconditional
kind of love for the fucked upness. It's humanity that wasn't always me.
But I'm starting to actually really seethat and the and notice just how divine
humans are. And that's exciting mebecause the more I'm falling in love with
(40:12):
humans and being a humanitarian, um, the more I am confident that my
work will continual line with the beingof deepest service to the world, which
is ultimately what what I want.Um and and Bree. My north node
in astrology is Aquarius, and Aquariusis the is the sign of being a
(40:32):
humanitarian. So I feel like I'mslowly it's probably gonna take another fifty years
to me to get there, steppingstepping into being away from the leo,
which is my self node. Uhoh. So for you guys are listening,
astrology is really cool, right.So there's the north node of the
moon in the south node of themoon, and the north node of the
moon tells you, UM, yourpurpose in this lifetime and your self.
(40:58):
Note of the moon tells you yourgreatest challenge and fulfilling that purpose, which
is the opposite sign on this geologicalcircle. And so the opposite sign for
Aquarius is Leo, which is allabout me and pride and being center stage,
you know, and being my youknow, all about me, me
MEI So I don't know. Iguess. Okay, here's what I'm trying
to say. I'll wrap this upby saying this. I used to hate
(41:20):
that my north note that my purposewas this idea of being a humanitarian and
being for humans. I used tohate that because I was still very adamant
on making it be all about Mimi. And I'm starting to open up and
really see how thrilling and exciting thispurpose actually could be. And that comes
(41:42):
up I think a lot with ageand wisdom and whatever. But I'm starting
to be open to have it notjust be about me Mimi and doing the
work to actually be a service toother people, and using my spiritual practice
to guide me and becoming a kinderand nicer person to myself and then to
definitely to other people. UM Soyeah, awesome. So that's yeah,
(42:07):
that's that's what I say about myself, it's been a difficult year, but
a good one. M about theword good, that's that's a very big
word to be using. It's avery committed word. It is a committed
word. I would say it's beenvery enlightening, it's been very eye opening,
(42:28):
it's been very transformative. So ironicbecause the card, my tarotcard for
the year, was not death ortower like it's been for the past but
jillion years, and yet I'd saythis has been the most deathy, towery
seemed year, not necessarily. Whatwas your tarotcard for this year? Actually,
I think I have it right here. I write down it in my
(42:51):
planner so I can access it atall times. Oh, my gosh,
did not write it down. Myword for the year is simplicity. I
had forgotten this since I wrote itseven months ago, so thank you for
the reminder. I have to touchbase and see if that's actually what I've
been doing. No, I don'thave it down here, so I don't.
(43:13):
I think it was the wheel ofFortune. I think it's what it
was. Brie and I love usingthe tarout to support our lives. Yeah,
it's fun and interesting. I'm prettysure my card for this year is
the sun. Oh that's fascinating.Well, we have to talk more about
(43:36):
this on my episode. We maybecause that's that's very counterintuitive. When when
I was in Seattle, my friendand I looked it up and we're reading
about it. Yeah, my um, because we looked at it said the
sun symbolizes daily renewal, light andwarmth. Yeah. No, it's a
great sign. Yeah, creative,multi asseted growth and Development's uh, what's
(44:05):
the wheel of fortune? The wheelof fortune is about changing tides. It's
about nothing lasts, everything changes,everything turns. See. I wonder though,
if you needed the death and towercards moving into this year to then
be at the place where you know. So, I don't think this year
is a death or tower card foryou. I mean, you know,
(44:25):
change, it's things are changing.I've changed more in the past six months
than I think I've changed in thepast twenty thirty forty years. So um,
and I'm not even forty years old, and that's how much I've changed
in the past six months. Andyou know, my astrological signs is,
(44:46):
according to my Vedic astrologer, acharge of transformation, and I will always
be transforming, which sounds fucking exhausting, but I think I'm getting used to
it by now. So you know, it's like, here's the point,
people's he is the point change isinevitable. I was just talking about this
last time at our dinner party too, one of our lovely guests. You
(45:06):
know, we can never predict wherewe're going to be five years from now.
I would have never predicted two yearsago where Amplify would be today.
I would have never predicted five yearsago that would be living in Los Angeles
with the person that I am,because I didn't even meet him yet.
Like, like, we just haveno idea what is going to happen?
And so what if we were tospend a little less time obsessing over creating
(45:27):
our this idealized ten year of vision, you know, thirty year of vision,
like where we spent just a littlemore time in building the inner resources
required so that when those changes happen, it's not so debilitating, it's not
so crazy, it's not so becausethere's space for both. We need both.
We need the vision, We needour goals, like we love goals.
(45:50):
We need to feel like like likea north star to guide us on
our journey. There's nothing wrong withthat, and as a human race that
we're very future oriented, and Iwould just love for us to just dip
our toes a little bit more intopresent orientation and doing the inner work of
developing the stuff required in a resilienceso that you can then when you're stepping
(46:15):
into that future, have a lotmore power and grace. Because death happens,
Getting a loss of job happens,getting disease happens, you know,
the death of a loved This stuffhappens. We can't protect ourselves from it
by obsessing over our goals. Wecan protect ourselves from it by being here
(46:37):
with ourselves as often as we can. Yeah, my final pedestal moment of
the day. There is an absolutelya fine balance and a great way to
look at like the future and thepresent because we all know that, like,
if you're unhappy in the present,that's really what's influencing and impacting what
(46:59):
you're creating in the future. Iwas just the thing this weekend and he
said, if you want to knowwhy you are where you are today,
look exactly look where you were sixmonths ago. Yeah, and that's what
created exactly where you are today.And so it's important yes to future pace
and have visions and goals. Weknow that that's what I'm like driven and
motivated by. But it also comeswith a coupling of loving where you're at
(47:22):
in the present moment, regardless ofwhat it looks like and whether it is
what you would have quote unquote chosen, and so awesome, great perspective to
end on. So one thing Iwanted to be clear about is that I
guess I guess there's been some confusion. I've gotten reflections lately. So Tyson
I both own our own brands.If you're listening to this and you don't
(47:45):
know, like Amplify isn't our mainthing, so Tyson I, as Tyson
is talking about her programs and stufflike, I encourage everyone on here to
go check out her website and checkout her work because while we have Amplifying,
we do Amplify together. We bothdo our own things, and Taius
is exceptionally brilliant at the work thatshe does in the world. And so,
(48:06):
as I mentioned at the top ofthe show, you can go to
her website I am tis sky dotcom. That will also all be in
the show notes. And I happento know that you also maybe have a
particular affinity for the social media,So would you also tell people where they
can find you all over the interwebs. You can find this, it can
find me anywhere at I am TaiSky. But I am mostly vocal right
(48:29):
now on Facebook, but also onInstagram. I've been doing more Instagram stories
lately, getting myself back into myInstagram life again. It's all at I
am Tai Sky. And yes,Brie and I have our own separate brands.
We have had our brands before.We had Amplify. Amplify as a
collective adventure of bringing events and podcasting, conversation and all this stuff together,
(48:52):
which has been incredibly exhilarating and funand brought its own set of challenges.
But it's still mind blowing that peoplekind of get confused. My sister the
other day, serious, your sister, Yeah, yeah, wait, you
don't know that, Like, Idon't. Amplifies not my main source of
(49:14):
income. That is not that's notyou know. I just thought I put
it out there a brilliant brand coachingbusiness. I really do though, And
uh yeah, so we have ourown things and we have yes yes,
yes, yes, yes, soyeah, you can learn more about me
on my website. Um, andthat's it. One last parting, brilliant
(49:40):
thought, one simple sentence, shortand concise, which I know is not
your forte. Ready go hashtag bethe change. Oh my god, I
have a tattooed on my foot,so the first thing that came into my
head. Okay, without the hashtag. I did not have a hashtag on
my body. Oh my my god, you need to add that. Let's
(50:01):
go, I'll meet you. There'sone on Melrone right by Target. Oh,
there's no hashtags on my body.It's not a hashtags tast it's a
pound sign. All right, amplifiers, thank you for joining us for yet
another epic ample. Thank you forhaving me. Oh my god, pleasure
(50:22):
and honor. We're the best guestever, I would say. I would
say I'm probably one of the betterones. Yeah yeah, all right,
Amplifiers. You know you can findus at the Amplified COUM. Go be
the change. We love you andhave an amplified week.
You are listening to Be Amplified thePodcast with Brie and Tyis Episode fifty eight.
Hey, Amplifiers, welcome to beAmplified the Podcast. My name is
Tayis and I'm bree Seely. Weare the co founders of the Amplified Collective,
a movement aimed at radically disrupting howpurpose driven women connect and operate in
(00:22):
the world, because we believe it'snot just what you do, but who
you are that matters. Each week, join us for messages and interviews that
will leave you feeling amplified and readyto change the world. Let's do this.
Good morning, Amplifiers. Bree Seelyhere and today we have a very
(00:45):
different format for the podcast, sothis will be the first podcast where Tys
is actually not joining me as aninterviewer, so I'm going to be doing
a solo interview. And the guestI have for you today is un fucking
believable. She is like one ofthe best humans in the world that I
think I've ever met. And I'mnot just saying that, I actually mean
(01:07):
that. And so let me introduceyou to today's guest. Do you like
this so far? Oh my god, I'm like dying I'm dying over here
trying to be quiet, So amplifiers, I want you to meet miss Tye
Sky, my guest unbe amplified forthe day. Hey. Hey, So,
(01:29):
for those of you that don't know, Tys is two part sas and
one part straight up truth talk.I think people at this point do know
that, but anyway, I keepgoing. She is a motivational speaker,
author, women's leadership coach, andwomen's rights advocate on a heart led mission
to support the seekers, the visionaries, and the why the heck do I
feel so stuck of the world reclaimtheir worthiness by learning how to explore trust
(01:53):
and express themselves unapologetically. Based onher own healing journey and decades of research
and mentoring women worldwide, she hasdeveloped a comprehensive model that explores and offers
tools and skills to help heel thepervasive sense of unworthiness within women, what
she calls the worthiness wound. Shereceived a prestigious first class degree in management
(02:15):
and has studied spiritual psychology, yoga, and leadership for over ten years.
Washington Magazine named her as one ofthe top eight bloggers to Know. The
Huffington Post calls her an inspirational woman. Really that happened? That did?
Can you imagine that? And shewas nominated for Forbes Magazine thirty Under thirty
Award. You can learn more abouther and her online offerings at Iamtaysky dot
(02:38):
com. Welcome, Miss tays Sky, Welcome to the be Amplified Podcast.
This is how our guests feel whenwe read their bios. I'm like,
wow, that sounds really impressive.Probably I'm an impressive human being. So
Phill's accolades and accomplishments. I mean, if you can't sell Brandham here,
(03:00):
where the fuck can you celebrate them? I mean fact? Yeah, I
mean fact. Well, Tys,you may or may not know that.
We always begin our podcast with thesame question to each one of our guests.
So I will ask you that samequestion now and actually monumentous moment.
I think this is the first timeI've ever asked this question. Yeah,
usually I'm the one that asks itbecause I read the bio and you ask
(03:21):
a question. That's our relationship.So now I get I get to not
only ask it for the first time, Tyas gets to answer it for the
thing. Maybe when I do you, I will read the bio and not
mess up so well, there's that. I took pretty good on our bios
for the most part. For themost part, some people's bios I have
to edit. All right, you'reready, Yeah, I'm ready, So
(03:46):
Miss tis Sky, What does itlook like for you to live and amplified
life? You know, I didn'tprep for this, and in retrospect,
I can see how this is actuallyreally hard question and to answer without any
sort of preparation. What does itlook like for me to live and amplify
life? I think what that lookslike for me is to feel really at
(04:13):
home within yourself, to know whoyou are, to know your limitations,
to be able to honor those limitations, and really be able to express and
be your true self unapologetically, withoutthe self hate and the nagging and the
inner criticism and the constant barrage ofself deprecation that I feel most of us
(04:39):
are constantly navigating through. I feellike when we can get to that place,
we can know who we are andwe can express that and it can
be that. I think that's whenwe have the true potential to then go
out and be the visionaries and theleaders and the world changers in a really
(04:59):
deeply impactful level. So this issomething I've been thinking about a lot lately.
You mentioned, you know, nothaving those the voices and the inner
self talk and stuff that kind ofkeeps us down. Do you think it's
possible to one hundred percent eradicate thatvoice in our humanity or is it just
so? How do you navigate thatvoice and being in the space of being
(05:25):
empowered and all that stuff? Yeah? Yeah, No, I definitely don't
think we I mean, there arebeings who I believe have eradicated those voices.
Buddha and Jesus Christ start to primeexamples, and I feel like that
is ultimately reaching another vision of theworld is when we are at that place?
(05:45):
Do you do you think Jesus hadno doubts? No, he had
doubts. He had doubts, andhe said it even on the cross.
And that's why that's why the storyof Jesus Christ is so inspiring. Right
even on the cross, on thecross, as he was dying, he
has a moment of doubt and hesays, why God of you forsaken me?
And I love that humanity about him, And that's what's so beautiful about
him is that he is human.He is not some demi god or super
(06:10):
good living on the human existence.He is human. But the very kind
of next sentences forgive them, forthey know not what they do. And
so he was able to then quicklyremember who he truly is and who he
truly was. And that's what I'msaying. So, so I do think
that they have reached a point wherethey don't they don't take the doubt as
(06:31):
who they are. I guess that'swhat I'm trying to say. So I
don't know if it's ever possible tofully eradicate that voice, because that's how
our mind is wired, that's howour humanness comes through. But we can
come to a place of deep remembering. So I love this story. There's
a story. So I love Hanuman. He is a monkey god in the
(06:53):
Hindu tradition, and he's the storyis really inspiring to me. You know.
He Um was helping the Prince Ramafind Rama's kidnapped wife Sita. So
Sita was kidnapped and Hannaman was workingwith a clan of monkeys to help Rama
find the find the princess. Andthey Rama went in one direction and Hannaman
(07:18):
went to another, and they wentto the edge of India where um if
they could, you know, justa few hundred miles is Sri Lanka.
And an eagle comes by he goes, oh, yeah, like I saw
the demon king, like he stoleSita, Like they're on Sri Lanka.
And all the monkeys are like,okay, what are we gonna do together?
And one monkey was like, youknow, I'm gonna leap fifty yards
(07:39):
and another monkeys like I'm gonna leapa hundred yards and um. Some of
the monkeys looked at Hanaman being likeHanaman, like you can make the sleep?
You're you're a god, like youcan make the sleep. And Hannaman
was like, I can't leave toSri Lanka? Are you crazy? Like
I can't do that? Just amonkey. And the eagle comes to Hanaman
and says, Hannah, m youare a god, and let me remind
(08:01):
you that you are a god.And so the ego shares all these stories
of what Hannaman has done in hislife, how he was able to lick
the sun like a lollipop or youknow, he's able to do all these
things. And as he was tellingthese stories, Haneman grew in size and
grew in confidence, and he wasable to leap to Sri Lanka and find
Sita, and then they engage inthe whole battle anyway. So what I
(08:24):
love about that story is that Hanamanrepresents all of us where we always are
in a state of forgetfulness, wherewe've forgotten who we really are. And
when we remember, when we canremember who we are, we can do
anything. Anything is possible. Andso my goal in my life is to
clean the mirror or clean the glassthat is my heart that is constantly thinking
(08:52):
that I am, these doubts,I am, these these human problems I
am. It's all about Mimi,me and my problems and my concerns.
Cleaning the glass that reminds me thatI'm actually so beyond that. And I
think we can when we can reachthat point on a more consistent basis,
we can navigate our challenges with deeperawareness, deeper grace. We can hurt
(09:15):
people less, we're kinder and nicerto people, and we make life less
about us and our preoccupations and moreabout how we can serve the world and
serve humanity in a greater way.Beautiful, I do what I can sometimes,
I think, so we all stillhave doubts yes, and doubts are
(09:35):
normal. Doubts are normal, youknow, doubt and is an indication that
there's something here, there's something big. Fears normal bullshit quote unquote. I
hate people say bullshit liviting beliefs.They're not bullshit. They're very real.
They're here for a very specific reason, very specific purpose. One of the
underlying premise in my everything I doin my work is that everything we say
(09:58):
and do has a positive of intention. Every thought that we have, every
fear comes from a positive intention tokeep us safer, to keep us protect
or whatever the intention may be.I don't believe that human nature is gent
is malicious. Yes, we havemalicious acts, but usually that maliciousness comes
out of a deep defensiveness, andthat defensiveness is created out of a deep
(10:20):
fear and a deep need to feelprotected. So if we can shift our
approach to self help and shift ourapproach to bettering ourselves instead of from the
perspective of I'm broken and I haveall these bullshit limiting beliefs, and that's
the reason why I don't get everythingI want to. I have to push
(10:41):
through these bullshit beliefs and then I'llhave all the money in the world.
What if we could instead ask ourselves, well, why do I have these
boots? Like, what's here?What's underlying this? What's the anxiety?
What's the need to be safe?Can I protect myself? Can I help
you know? Can I see myselfand develop the type of self awareness and
understanding of my psychology that I canbe gentle with myself in this process?
(11:05):
Can I honor that this is mylimitation right now? Can I be do
the inner work of knowing where thisis coming from and how we can begin
to address this, and when wecan take that kindness inward, I find
that the whole process of developing ourselvesactually becomes a really pleasant experience rather than
(11:26):
another tool of self hate and selfannihilation. Yeah, yeah, I mean
we have talked about this. Wehave I'm a I'm a first ten guest.
I don't when have we talked aboutthis? I have a conversation.
You know. The whole idea ofjust like eradicating a limiting belief is basically,
you know, I love my analogies. It's like weeds, right,
so you go out to the gardenand would basically just be like cutting off
(11:50):
all the weeds at the surface likejust get rid of the limiting belief,
you know. But if you're notdoing that underwork like Tys just mentioned and
really healing the roots of it,they're just going to grow back. You
have to go underground, you haveto dig up what you can't see and
really work to heal that and ask, you know, what it's they're serving
(12:11):
you for and move past that stuffso it's not just regrowing all these weeds
back in your garden again. Yeah, And that's so that's been what I've
been studying. I study shame andguilt. I've been studying, you know,
childhood psychology and attachment theory. I'vebeen studying so much of Wanting to
get to the root of somatic experiencingis another thing that I've been studying a
(12:33):
lot, Like how do we getto the root of the quote unquote bullshit
limiting belief so that it can changewithout us consciously trying to change it.
Because here's here's what I'm noticing,what I'm seeing. I while the while,
it's very easy to say that everythingyou want is just a decision away,
Like if you're not making money,that's a decision that you're making,
(12:54):
and you just have to change thatdecision, so that while that's true,
oftentimes our decision are deeply unconscious,and the majority of our lives are actually
deeply unconscious. Something like eighty percentof our lives has run through our unconscious
mind and through not really being autonomous. So we really grossly overestimate how much
autonomy we have in our lives.So I'm deeply curious, Okay, if
(13:18):
that's the case, and if weare quote unquote making these choices, when
did we make that choice? Whenwas it a conscious choice? You know?
Where within us are we continually choosingthings that are hurting ourselves? Like
why why do we get into theseaddicting patterns? Why do we get into
addictions? Why do we hurt andself sabotage ourselves? And I've been so
(13:41):
fascinated by this because based on myown experience with binge eating, you know,
my binge eating stemmed from a deepbelief that I didn't belong on this
planet, that I'm unlovable, thatI'm deeply undeserving, unworthy, right,
And so yes, while my bingeeating, I guess you could say,
is a decision, it's extremely simplisticto say, well, then you just
(14:03):
gotta decide not to binge because yourmind is binge eating for a reason,
and it has nothing to do withthe food and has everything to do with
something underneath that. And so that'swhat I've been so so deeply obsessed with,
is what is that underneath? Whatis that? What is that layer?
And when we can get to thatlayer, I'm finding in my work
(14:26):
and in my work with my clients, so my self, work and beyond,
we actually change without forcing ourselves tochange. Right, It's kind of
like we start, let's say,just for simplistic reasons, we start to
meditate, without saying we should bemeditating. We just naturally do it.
So we just my binge eating kindof just started dissipating on its own as
(14:48):
I did the inner work. Ididn't have to consciously, you know,
be like I'm gonna stop binge eatingtoday. I'm not gonna bingie. I'm
gonna not binge, and you know, putting that in my mind over and
over and over again. And soyou know, I've gotten to the place
now where I don't binge and Idon't calori account and I never thought I
would get to this place, never, And it was not it was not
a conscious It wasn't it wasn't.You know, it's a case it was
(15:13):
a conscious decision to do the innerwork to heal the beingeting, but it
was not a conscious decision like today, I'm not gonna calori account and then
that that ended up being the case. Yeah, So that's what I've been
doing a lot of work in andI think what's important to note to,
like specifically in the sample example,is that you didn't heal your binge eating.
You healed what was causing your bingeeating. Because if we you know,
(15:37):
if we go out and say I'mgonna heal this habit or this pattern,
that pattern is going to represent itselfin a different area of your back.
It's just going to look differently.And then all the same habits and
triggers and um drugs in your brainand beliefs and all the things are going
to continue to be perpetuated. It'sjust gonna look different because you're notating,
(16:00):
because you're not addressing the reason whyyou've been cheating. If we treat being
cheating as the enemies, then ofcourse we just want to attack the enemy
and make it go away. Butinstead, if we are to get curious
and whatever anxieties are coming up foryou? What's underlying this? What's underneath
this? And can I can Iapproach this from the perspective of this is
here to help me? How isit actually stopping me from how? You
(16:22):
know? How is it actually nothelping me? But it's it thinks it's
helping you. Something that I've beenreally it's something I've been asking all of
my clients. It's actually a reallyfun question to ask yourself those of you
who are listening, is when obviouslythose of you who are listening, who
else would be even listening anyway?I mean, I'll ask myself the question
when you're when I find out whatit is? How's that is when you
(16:45):
start to notice your inner critic gettingreally loud, And when you can really
notice your inner critic is to askit, how old do you think I
am? And what we'll find isthat the inner critic tends to think that
we're in the single digits, Thatwe're anywhere between the ages of three to
nine is where the inner critic believesthat we are. And come that's like
(17:08):
mind blowing, Like when I learnedthat and I started to ask myself that
I was like, oh, mygeez, Like, my innocritic really thinks
it has a job to do.It's protecting a seven year old from a
very harsh world, and so it'sgoing to brade ourselves and it's going to
be mean to ourselves in order toprotect our little kid, our little seven
(17:29):
year old. But I'm not sevenyears old. I'm twenty eight years old,
and as a twenty eight year old, I can actually navigate life through
some relative confidence, except when itcomes to calling insurance companies. No confidence
there. But for the most part, I don't need this inner critic that's
berating me as a seven year oldbecause I'm twenty eight years old. So
it's really cool to realize this becauseit gives yourself some perspective and then you
(17:52):
start to being able to be kindto the inner critic, and in return,
it starts to dissipate something really coolto play with. Very nice.
Yeah, so let's shift gears alittle bit. I know you're gonna love
this question because right before we goton here, Tyson I were talking about
sentimentality and how she didn't realize howsentimental she was. So we just hit
(18:15):
our two year anniversary of Amplify.Yes, And we've been doing the podcast
for about a year and a halfand I want to know what has been
your biggest learning experience through the lasttwo years or the biggest gift in the
last two years that Amplifies brought you. Yeah. You know, when we
(18:37):
start Amplify, we were making twohundred dollars a month and we still at
fifty fifty, so we were eachmaking one hundred a month, one hundred
dollars, but like, well,that's not sustainable. For like the first
six months we were making one hundredbucks a month. That's not sustainable.
You know. I would say thegreatest lesson that I continue to learn and
(19:00):
that Amplifier has really accentuated for me, is that you'll never get to the
two year mark if you don't startat the zero year mark. Like the
confidence and ease that Brie and Ihave in podcasting, the confidence and ease
we now have at running events.You know, we kind of fly by
a suit of our pants in manyways, but we kind of just trust
that we're going to figure it out, but ship's going to come together.
(19:23):
The confidence that we have in puttingourselves out there and feeling really good about
the Amplified brand. We love ourlogo, we love our website. It
all started because we were willing tostart at at nothing, you know,
and to start at uncomfortable conversations.I don't think I want to listen to
our first few episodes, but I'msure that people that do can tell a
(19:45):
huge difference between when we started andnow, and we wouldn't be able to
be here, That's what I'm saying. We wouldn't be able to be here
if we didn't start then. Butwe all, all of us want to
already be here when we start.We already want to be the making the
ten million dollars at the get go. We want to have the beautiful website
and beautiful logo at the beginning,and we didn't start that way. You
(20:08):
know. Our logo was remade itas cute as like camp and Campa,
and that's where we needed to be. And we didn't even have a website
for the first we had two hundreddollars a month, like, we couldn't
make a website. I think forthe first six months we didn't have a
website. We got it in March. Yeah, we didn't have a website,
and then we made it. Wemade our first website. Yeah,
(20:29):
and for over the first year wehad that, that website that we we
didn't even invest in a good websiteor a designer until yeah after, I
think it was like a year infour months. And you know, so,
so start now, start now,for the love of God, start
now, whatever it is, startnow, start small, do something.
(20:52):
You will gain the confidence eventually tobe where you want to be. You
know, it's so interesting people sayI'm so ready to speak on a stage
with ten thousand people, Like I'mso ready, but they've never spoken on
a stage in front of a hundredpeople. And you don't really realize the
intensity of speaking on the stage often thousand people until you speak on a
(21:17):
stage with one hundred people and realizehow quite not ready you are. So
if you feel like you're ready tospeak on a stage in front on ten
thousand people, you're ready to havethe love of your life, You're ready
to make up a jillion dollars,and right now you don't have any of
those things. See if you canstart small, start somewhere, and you're
going to start to develop the skillsnecessary for them for you to speak in
(21:37):
front of the stage of ten thousandpeople. So that's one of the biggest
things I think I've taken away fromthe past two years. But I am
extremely sentimental and not in everything.But I find myself just not constant.
What is it like, maybe fifteenpercent of my time, fifteen percent of
my time occasionally occasionally there you gowhen I'm driving, especially thinking back on
(22:03):
my past, my past lives.I've lived so many iterations of lives.
My life in New Jersey, mylife in Maryland, my life in Boston,
my life in London, my lifein Brazil, my life in Japan,
you know, my three different iterationsof my life in Maryland, my
life in La So I'm just Idon't know. I don't know what it
is about my psychology. I justlove going back. I find a lot
(22:26):
of comfort and also discomfort in mysentimentality. Now, has this sentimentality frequent
or has it just been recently.No, it's always been the case,
consistent. Yeah, I've moved arounda lot, so I feel like I've
built this as a way of rememberingthe things that I've left behind. You
know, when I was little,my mom didn't have any money. There
(22:48):
were tons and she's told me nowthat she's had to decide between feeding me
and feeding herself, you know,not having money for the bust and having
to walk. You know, I'mvery, very very poor and um,
so we didn't really have a lotof stuff, and I didn't really have
a lot of toys, and aswe moved so much, you know,
we got rid of a lot ofstuff. So I don't really have a
lot of stuff in my childhood.So I feel like I developed this idea
(23:11):
of being sentimental as a way oflike nurturing past memories that I don't have
any other way of accessing. ButI could be making that up, So
I don't know, interesting could be. I was just thinking like if it
was something that was just coming upnow for some reason, that maybe there
was something on its way that wasrequiring you to be sentimental or who knows,
(23:32):
But no, yeah, I don'tknow. It's an always thing.
Yeah, I think so. Well, Miss tay Sky, if you were
on the other side of this interviewand you were interviewing yourself, what question,
what question would you wish that Iwould be asking me a free That
is such a copout. I knowyou are hilarious. That's such a good
(23:55):
copout and such a question I answer. So here's the conundrum with that.
I had this arning I was inmeditation and I had like a few of
these questions pop up for you andthings I really wanted to highlight about your
interview. And then I had thismoment where I was like, Fuck,
I can't be too mean to Taiisbecause she's interviewing me in a few weeks
and if I really put her feetto the flames, she was a bit
(24:19):
over. Harma is a bit Okay, let's talk about shame. Let's talk
about shane because I'm doing a psychologycourse right now on it and I'm learning
a lot of really useful information.So I mean, this is something we
haven't talked about on our podcast,and so let's talk about it. Um
(24:41):
there, see that is this whatyou wanted? Break? Is this what
you wanted? Sir? Although that'snot a question, but here, Tice,
I care you're taking a course,would you educate myself and the listeners
just a little bit more on theintricacies of shame. Shame? Yeah,
okay, so fun fact number one. Shame is so good. Yeah,
that was beautiful. Shame is anemotion. It's an actual emotion, and
(25:07):
people don't often know that because itfeels different than I would say typical emotions
feel. Because when an emotion likekind of feels like that is out,
like sadness, you just feel anover amount of grief that feels like that's
the emotion. Shame feels like it'skind of covering up so much other stuff,
and it is. The emotion ofshame is an emotion that's actually covering
(25:33):
an incredible amount of other stuff underneath. So when that's going back to my
bench eating, when I binged eightafterwards, I felt an immense amount of
shame and the sense of being uncontrollableand whatever. And the more I did,
excuse me, the more I diddeeper work, the more I realized
that shame was like a condom.It was like preventing me from really feeling
(25:56):
deeper squirty emotions that ill that toomuch? Is that chorus you took that
over? Yeah, I think Idid, um, But but it like
it's a shield that blocks you fromkind of getting intimate with all the other
stuff that's going on there. Butinstead of like forcing yourself to move through
shame, just like we shouldn't forceyourself to move through anger just because samas
(26:18):
is underneath anger is its own emotionthat needs to be honored, and shame
is its own emotion that needs tobe honored. And shame um is actually
a very biological tool that we've inheritedfor thousands of years to keep us from
from towing out of line, thatwould push us out of the community,
(26:40):
out of the tribe, you know, out of the communal living situation we
have going on back then. HSo, you know, shame would prevent
you from killing somebody else so thatyou weren't going to be exiled, because
if you're exiled, you were probablygonna die. So so shame kind of
stems from a very very deep,um unconscious place of helping you kind of
(27:03):
stay in line. And then mostof shame is actually developed societally, So
there are different cultures that experience differenttypes of shame, and so's that become
a cultural tool to keep people inline. So I thought that was really
(27:25):
fascinating because we often think of shameas an individual issue, when rather shame
is a collective tool, and differentcultures have different ways of raising a shame.
For example, you know, rightnow, we have fat phobia is
a real thing in our society.And yet the majority, the average woman's
(27:45):
size is a size fourteen. Sothere are an incredible number of women in
our society, you know, inour Western society, almost a majority that
are not quote unquote skinny, right, and so there's this huge shame being
placed on women about their weight size. And you know, the shame comes
(28:11):
a lot from inside the family,as opposed to let's say racism, where
it's societal. But you can findrespite in your family, right, You
find a sense of commonality of thecolor of your skin within your family.
So at least you have a familyunit that protects you. But with fat
(28:33):
phobia, it's all the shame isoften also in the family. Um.
We can all, I'm sure remembera time when our mom may may have
made an offhand comment about our weight, or you know, we've made an
offhand comment to our mothers about theirweight. And so when we notice that,
okay, so fat phobia is actuallya cultural shaming device. Um,
(28:55):
for a multitude of reasons, mostlyfor a beauty standards that women are supposed
to be aligning to in order forthem to be loved by society, we
can start to recognize it's actually notour shame to caring, it's not our
debts, it's not something that wehave to be taking on as our own.
There's a lot of shame in theentrepreneurial space in the coaching industry of
(29:17):
if you don't make this type ofmoney, or if you don't have this
type of launch, then you're nota good entrepreneur. Then it means all
these things about you. And sowhen you notice that shame has come up,
it's a great place for you totake a pause and ask yourself,
is it really true that who Iam if I express it or to get
me kicked out of the community,is it really true? Sometimes it is
(29:41):
true. You know, Brie andI have in the Amplified Woman, you
know a beautiful individual who has sharedthat you know she has some challenges with
money that may get in the wayof her relationship. So that is true
that shame she has around money,It actually could kick her out of that
(30:03):
community. But then there's a typeof shame where it's it's actually a complete
illusion, like your fatness or skinninesswill literally not kick you out of society,
will not kick you out of yourjob. So it's really important with
shame that that first filter you movethrough as you're thinking about shame or I
feel really ashamed, is it reallytrue? And then whether or not it
is true will determine how you respondand how you act and how you then
(30:27):
heal that shame. Well, itsounds like too a little bit of like
is this my shame or is thisnot mine? Like if it's being placed
on you from society, that's awhole different experience. Then if it's yours,
and if then you need to ownthat and take responsibility for it to
heal it. Yea through it soand it causes a lot of anxiety.
(30:51):
It's like, we have this thresholdof where we are, which is down
here because you guys don't see meown videos, so you know you're you're
down here, and then where you'resupposed to be is all the way up
here, and there's a huge gapwithin that. And the where you're supposed
to be is based on a lotof things. It's based on society,
it's based on self expectation, it'sa lot of it's based on childhood psychology,
(31:12):
which I'm not going to go intoit today, but that gap is
what the inner critic is trying toabsolve that gap. Is what we are
so desperate to push ourselves beyond ournorm like beyond what feels good for us.
And so oftentimes, you know,there's the positive push of self development,
(31:33):
which is get uncomfortable, get uncomfortable, and that's to help close that
gap of where you are and whatyou want. But then there's the there's
the shadow side of that, whichis it only feeds the inner critic,
which then only feeds the shame ofyou not having what you think you should
have based on your age, basedon your looks, based on your hustle,
(31:56):
based on you know, society.And so we really want to be
careful when we're talking about that gapand when we're talking about getting people to
where they want to be, thatwe're not doing it from the shadow side
of pushing people to create stronger shameand stronger inner critic, because if they're
shame and if that inner critic isloud, you can bet that you're you're
(32:22):
not going to be positively motivated togo after what you want. And it's
going to be a deeply triggering andtrance like experience for people. And as
coaches and healers and teachers. Thelast one we want to be doing is
promoting anxiety within our clients and shamingthem towards bold actions that they're not quite
(32:43):
ready to take, because first wereally have to set a strong foundation of
where they are. Awesome. Yeah, I did hear a story recently a
friend who was working with the coachand how basically every time they got on
the call, the coach would justlike yell and tell this person like what
a piece of shit they were,and how they weren't doing enough, and
(33:04):
how they needed to be doing more, and that their their strategy wasn't good
and just all this stuff, andit's it's heartbreaking to hear that that's how
things are being like, how thingsare being manipulated in the coachingtry. Yeah,
and look at you know, shamewithin men um. You know,
(33:25):
the shame to not express emotions,the shame to not be able like to
care too much about their family,right, you know, the there's a
joke about the bros and then theone guy's married and all the bros are
like, dude, like, youdon't you know they'll get about us anymore.
That's shaming. Yeah, So whenwe shame men from being family people
(33:47):
or you know, being connected totheir emotions. It creates a toxic masculinity
that upholds the patriarchal mindset that youknow, men have to be a certain
way in order for them to benefitfrom our system. You know, when
we talk about patriarchy, we're notsaying that all men are bad. Patriarchy
doesn't serve men either. It reallyonly serves a very very very small number
(34:12):
of individuals. So we want tobe looking at making sure that we're not
using shame and shaming as a toolin any way if men, women,
coaching, industry, whatever, intaking in taking action, because it it
just ultimately isn't going to work.Now, there is a positive role shame,
(34:35):
and I've been really thinking about whatdifferentiates from the negative role shame,
which is what we're just talking about. What the positive role shame, the
positive rule and shame is. Inindigenous cultures, they used the tool of
shame to keep their kids, theirteens, you know, people who made
mistakes in line. But the waythey did it was it was very collective
(34:59):
base. So like they shamed youby by creating a whole ceremony around you
and dancing with you and reminding youof your collective, of your goodness and
your collective responsibility, and you know, embarrassing you and using the leveraging the
tool of shame. But it wasvery much a community love shame. Its
not makes sense. Where you werebeing seen, you were being witnessed,
(35:22):
you were being told that's not okay. But we believe in you and we're
going to support you into the behaviorthat is okay, versus the shame that
we use now, of like thecriminal justice system, where we just lock
people up and treat them as criminalsfor petty crimes, right, we treat
them guilty before proven innocent, andwe just lock them up and we don't
(35:42):
look at them, we don't evenyou know, we just put them away.
And they don't have any tools,any way of improving themselves, of
repenting of a tony there's no chancefor that. They're just stuck in a
system. And that's it. Soshaming, when it's done with a positive
intention and its done to bring thecollective or the individual to the collectives best
interest, can actually be a reallypowerful tool. But we've forgotten this tool,
(36:07):
and so we leverage shame in badways, and we leverage shame you
know, to get clients, andwe leverage shame to you know, remind
women that they're ugly, and soyou need to buy all these beauty products
in or to make women look pretty, and that's just not serving our society.
Yeah, awesome, Yeah, thanks, But we're close to being done.
(36:30):
I have one more question for you. Okay, one more how let's
see, what are you most proudof from this year? Twenty seventeen?
Jesus free. These are the hardass fucking questions. These are the type
of questions any major preparation for abullshit there. We had to have been
(36:52):
something that popped up. What wasit? What are you most proud of
from this year? Because I knowit's been a hardier for both of us.
It has been a hardier for bothof us. So I shared,
I shared, We shared, butI shared our challenges of this past year.
I think it was two two episodesago. Yeah, this is the
problem. I can't ask you thatquestion because we already answered it. So
I'm asking you all these other questions. No, no, I hear you,
(37:14):
I understand. No, No,I'm going with somewhere with this.
So we talked about our challenges.I think it was two or three podcast
episodes ago and then last podcast episodeor the one before last with Kelly Deals.
You know, Bree and I talkedabout the coaching industry and reclaiming when
I talked about reclaiming the word coach, and Kelly came on and talked about
(37:35):
the female Lifestyle Empowerment brand, andKelly's Female Lifestyle Empowerment brand model is what
create. It's what was the catalystto so much of the changes that I
implemented in my business in the earlierthis year. And then I've spent five
six months trying to figure out howI was going to market myself and put
(37:57):
myself out there and promote my workand be very proud of the work that
I'm doing in the world without leveragingsocial triggers and sleazy marketing that is very
rampant. It's not like sleazy marketingis only a few people. It's the
underbelly beliefs of the coaching industry isa lot of sleazy stuff. And so
I have to say what I'm mostproud of is, you know, the
(38:22):
fact that I'm currently launching a groupprogram and I've made a full commitment to
launch this program and show up inthis program in a way that I would
have never done before, and reallytaking a stand for the different types of
beliefs that I am now stepping into, like the beliefs that people know how
(38:43):
to make the best decisions for them, like the decision that you know,
I don't have to hide my pricepoint, like the decision that I don't
have to coerce people to sign up, like when people feel ready, they'll
be ready. And so it's beena really exhilarating and challenging experience because I'm
going against so much of what Ithought I had to do in order to
be quote unquote successful. But I'mreally proud of that, and I'm really
(39:06):
proud that of the woman that I'vebecome in the past seven months. I
mean, you know, I'm deeplyimperfect, but I'm able to stand in
my power more and be very veryclear on certain boundaries with my relationship with
my partnership with my parents, butalso just much more compassionate. In the
(39:27):
journey of awakening to my privilege andawakening to my role and responsibility in the
realm of being a human, I'veactually started to develop a deep love for
the human spirit and a deep lovefor humanity that I don't I can't say
(39:49):
I had before, which is ironic, right because we're coaches and we're supposed
to love people because that's the workthat we're in, but like an unconditional
kind of love for the fucked upness. It's humanity that wasn't always me.
But I'm starting to actually really seethat and the and notice just how divine
humans are. And that's exciting mebecause the more I'm falling in love with
(40:12):
humans and being a humanitarian, um, the more I am confident that my
work will continual line with the beingof deepest service to the world, which
is ultimately what what I want.Um and and Bree. My north node
in astrology is Aquarius, and Aquariusis the is the sign of being a
(40:32):
humanitarian. So I feel like I'mslowly it's probably gonna take another fifty years
to me to get there, steppingstepping into being away from the leo,
which is my self node. Uhoh. So for you guys are listening,
astrology is really cool, right.So there's the north node of the
moon in the south node of themoon, and the north node of the
moon tells you, UM, yourpurpose in this lifetime and your self.
(40:58):
Note of the moon tells you yourgreatest challenge and fulfilling that purpose, which
is the opposite sign on this geologicalcircle. And so the opposite sign for
Aquarius is Leo, which is allabout me and pride and being center stage,
you know, and being my youknow, all about me, me
MEI So I don't know. Iguess. Okay, here's what I'm trying
to say. I'll wrap this upby saying this. I used to hate
(41:20):
that my north note that my purposewas this idea of being a humanitarian and
being for humans. I used tohate that because I was still very adamant
on making it be all about Mimi. And I'm starting to open up and
really see how thrilling and exciting thispurpose actually could be. And that comes
(41:42):
up I think a lot with ageand wisdom and whatever. But I'm starting
to be open to have it notjust be about me Mimi and doing the
work to actually be a service toother people, and using my spiritual practice
to guide me and becoming a kinderand nicer person to myself and then to
definitely to other people. UM Soyeah, awesome. So that's yeah,
(42:07):
that's that's what I say about myself, it's been a difficult year, but
a good one. M about theword good, that's that's a very big
word to be using. It's avery committed word. It is a committed
word. I would say it's beenvery enlightening, it's been very eye opening,
(42:28):
it's been very transformative. So ironicbecause the card, my tarotcard for
the year, was not death ortower like it's been for the past but
jillion years, and yet I'd saythis has been the most deathy, towery
seemed year, not necessarily. Whatwas your tarotcard for this year? Actually,
I think I have it right here. I write down it in my
(42:51):
planner so I can access it atall times. Oh, my gosh,
did not write it down. Myword for the year is simplicity. I
had forgotten this since I wrote itseven months ago, so thank you for
the reminder. I have to touchbase and see if that's actually what I've
been doing. No, I don'thave it down here, so I don't.
(43:13):
I think it was the wheel ofFortune. I think it's what it
was. Brie and I love usingthe tarout to support our lives. Yeah,
it's fun and interesting. I'm prettysure my card for this year is
the sun. Oh that's fascinating.Well, we have to talk more about
(43:36):
this on my episode. We maybecause that's that's very counterintuitive. When when
I was in Seattle, my friendand I looked it up and we're reading
about it. Yeah, my um, because we looked at it said the
sun symbolizes daily renewal, light andwarmth. Yeah. No, it's a
great sign. Yeah, creative,multi asseted growth and Development's uh, what's
(44:05):
the wheel of fortune? The wheelof fortune is about changing tides. It's
about nothing lasts, everything changes,everything turns. See. I wonder though,
if you needed the death and towercards moving into this year to then
be at the place where you know. So, I don't think this year
is a death or tower card foryou. I mean, you know,
(44:25):
change, it's things are changing.I've changed more in the past six months
than I think I've changed in thepast twenty thirty forty years. So um,
and I'm not even forty years old, and that's how much I've changed
in the past six months. Andyou know, my astrological signs is,
(44:46):
according to my Vedic astrologer, acharge of transformation, and I will always
be transforming, which sounds fucking exhausting, but I think I'm getting used to
it by now. So you know, it's like, here's the point,
people's he is the point change isinevitable. I was just talking about this
last time at our dinner party too, one of our lovely guests. You
(45:06):
know, we can never predict wherewe're going to be five years from now.
I would have never predicted two yearsago where Amplify would be today.
I would have never predicted five yearsago that would be living in Los Angeles
with the person that I am,because I didn't even meet him yet.
Like, like, we just haveno idea what is going to happen?
And so what if we were tospend a little less time obsessing over creating
(45:27):
our this idealized ten year of vision, you know, thirty year of vision,
like where we spent just a littlemore time in building the inner resources
required so that when those changes happen, it's not so debilitating, it's not
so crazy, it's not so becausethere's space for both. We need both.
We need the vision, We needour goals, like we love goals.
(45:50):
We need to feel like like likea north star to guide us on
our journey. There's nothing wrong withthat, and as a human race that
we're very future oriented, and Iwould just love for us to just dip
our toes a little bit more intopresent orientation and doing the inner work of
developing the stuff required in a resilienceso that you can then when you're stepping
(46:15):
into that future, have a lotmore power and grace. Because death happens,
Getting a loss of job happens,getting disease happens, you know,
the death of a loved This stuffhappens. We can't protect ourselves from it
by obsessing over our goals. Wecan protect ourselves from it by being here
(46:37):
with ourselves as often as we can. Yeah, my final pedestal moment of
the day. There is an absolutelya fine balance and a great way to
look at like the future and thepresent because we all know that, like,
if you're unhappy in the present,that's really what's influencing and impacting what
(46:59):
you're creating in the future. Iwas just the thing this weekend and he
said, if you want to knowwhy you are where you are today,
look exactly look where you were sixmonths ago. Yeah, and that's what
created exactly where you are today.And so it's important yes to future pace
and have visions and goals. Weknow that that's what I'm like driven and
motivated by. But it also comeswith a coupling of loving where you're at
(47:22):
in the present moment, regardless ofwhat it looks like and whether it is
what you would have quote unquote chosen, and so awesome, great perspective to
end on. So one thing Iwanted to be clear about is that I
guess I guess there's been some confusion. I've gotten reflections lately. So Tyson
I both own our own brands.If you're listening to this and you don't
(47:45):
know, like Amplify isn't our mainthing, so Tyson I, as Tyson
is talking about her programs and stufflike, I encourage everyone on here to
go check out her website and checkout her work because while we have Amplifying,
we do Amplify together. We bothdo our own things, and Taius
is exceptionally brilliant at the work thatshe does in the world. And so,
(48:06):
as I mentioned at the top ofthe show, you can go to
her website I am tis sky dotcom. That will also all be in
the show notes. And I happento know that you also maybe have a
particular affinity for the social media,So would you also tell people where they
can find you all over the interwebs. You can find this, it can
find me anywhere at I am TaiSky. But I am mostly vocal right
(48:29):
now on Facebook, but also onInstagram. I've been doing more Instagram stories
lately, getting myself back into myInstagram life again. It's all at I
am Tai Sky. And yes,Brie and I have our own separate brands.
We have had our brands before.We had Amplify. Amplify as a
collective adventure of bringing events and podcasting, conversation and all this stuff together,
(48:52):
which has been incredibly exhilarating and funand brought its own set of challenges.
But it's still mind blowing that peoplekind of get confused. My sister the
other day, serious, your sister, Yeah, yeah, wait, you
don't know that, Like, Idon't. Amplifies not my main source of
(49:14):
income. That is not that's notyou know. I just thought I put
it out there a brilliant brand coachingbusiness. I really do though, And
uh yeah, so we have ourown things and we have yes yes,
yes, yes, yes, soyeah, you can learn more about me
on my website. Um, andthat's it. One last parting, brilliant
(49:40):
thought, one simple sentence, shortand concise, which I know is not
your forte. Ready go hashtag bethe change. Oh my god, I
have a tattooed on my foot,so the first thing that came into my
head. Okay, without the hashtag. I did not have a hashtag on
my body. Oh my my god, you need to add that. Let's
(50:01):
go, I'll meet you. There'sone on Melrone right by Target. Oh,
there's no hashtags on my body.It's not a hashtags tast it's a
pound sign. All right, amplifiers, thank you for joining us for yet
another epic ample. Thank you forhaving me. Oh my god, pleasure
(50:22):
and honor. We're the best guestever, I would say. I would
say I'm probably one of the betterones. Yeah yeah, all right,
Amplifiers. You know you can findus at the Amplified COUM. Go be
the change. We love you andhave an amplified week.
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