Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by Xandy and Christine Schiefer. Produced by the Forever Dog Podcast Network.
Episodes
July 9, 2025 • 71 mins
Grab mom’s credit card, we’re going to BAB!
San Francisco show is TONIGHT!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.c...
Mark as Played
July 2, 2025 • 66 mins
We love VPH aka Our Lady of QVC
Come see us in California!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosand...
Mark as Played
June 25, 2025 • 69 mins
I'll take a Dirty Jimmy Carter on the rocks, please.
SEE US LIVE! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosa...
Mark as Played
June 18, 2025 • 73 mins
This episode we learn how to fix your bike's jickle flamber.
We're performing in Florida tonight and tomorrow!!
https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from...
Mark as Played
June 11, 2025 • 71 mins
Don't listen if you have a mealworm phobia.
See you in Florida in one week!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.c...
Mark as Played
June 4, 2025 • 76 mins
Be careful listening to this episode while in ketosis.
Our tour starts in two weeks!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https:/...
Mark as Played
May 28, 2025 • 80 mins
No sushi was harmed in the making of this episode.
Our tour is guickly approaching!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https:/...
Mark as Played
May 21, 2025 • 71 mins
Breaking up families, one listener at a time.Tour tickets on sale now!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beach...
Mark as Played
May 14, 2025 • 94 mins
Our found family includes Voldemort, Snow White, and Rudyard Kipling.
See us on tour!! Or are those just wax versions of us? https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch video...
Mark as Played
May 7, 2025 • 102 mins
Apologies for confusing Helen Mirren with the real star of Devil Wears Prada, Diane Keaton.
See Christine and her popcorn pants on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet...
Mark as Played
April 30, 2025 • 84 mins
We love Pinto Macbean and definitely not because we're afraid of him!
See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowetWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://t...
Mark as Played
April 23, 2025 • 65 mins
Everyone wish Christine a happy birthday!
See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Et...
Mark as Played
April 16, 2025 • 95 mins
See us on tour and don't throw quarters at us!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Etsy: https://...
Mark as Played
April 9, 2025 • 92 mins
See us on tour and at our EPCOT after party!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Etsy: https...
Mark as Played
April 2, 2025 • 83 mins
SEE US ON TOUR!!! Tickets on sale this Friday!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour
Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Etsy: htt...
Mark as Played
March 26, 2025 • 68 mins
After recording this episode, Xandy found an empty can of rootbeer on his floor.
Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtin...
Mark as Played
March 19, 2025 • 74 mins
If your name is O'Brien, Murphy, Fitzpatrick, etc. it's a very BIG day.
Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Etsy:...
Mark as Played
March 12, 2025 • 78 mins
We expect to see your thumbs up if you like this episode.
Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy deal with Goblins! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Etsy: https://w...
Mark as Played
March 5, 2025 • 71 mins
We're confident Jimmy Carter would've been a sand monster.
Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy for some reason! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Etsy: https://ww...
Mark as Played
February 26, 2025 • 91 mins
If you see Christine by the Charles River trying to sell you on eternal life... no you didn't.
Join our not so secret labor force! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy
We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store
Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer
Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet
Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy
Xtine's Et...
Mark as Played
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