Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by Xandy and Christine Schiefer. Produced by the Forever Dog Podcast Network.

Episodes

July 9, 2025 71 mins
Grab mom’s credit card, we’re going to BAB! San Francisco show is TONIGHT!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.c...
Mark as Played
We love VPH aka Our Lady of QVC Come see us in California!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosand...
Mark as Played
June 25, 2025 69 mins
I'll take a Dirty Jimmy Carter on the rocks, please.  SEE US LIVE! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosa...
Mark as Played
June 18, 2025 73 mins
This episode we learn how to fix your bike's jickle flamber. We're performing in Florida tonight and tomorrow!!  https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from...
Mark as Played
June 11, 2025 71 mins
Don't listen if you have a mealworm phobia. See you in Florida in one week!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.c...
Mark as Played
June 4, 2025 76 mins
Be careful listening to this episode while in ketosis. Our tour starts in two weeks!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https:/...
Mark as Played
May 28, 2025 80 mins
No sushi was harmed in the making of this episode. Our tour is guickly approaching!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https:/...
Mark as Played
May 21, 2025 71 mins
Breaking up families, one listener at a time.Tour tickets on sale now!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beach...
Mark as Played
May 14, 2025 94 mins
Our found family includes Voldemort, Snow White, and Rudyard Kipling. See us on tour!! Or are those just wax versions of us? https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch video...
Mark as Played
May 7, 2025 102 mins
Apologies for confusing Helen Mirren with the real star of Devil Wears Prada, Diane Keaton. See Christine and her popcorn pants on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet...
Mark as Played
April 30, 2025 84 mins
We love Pinto Macbean and definitely not because we're afraid of him! See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowetWatch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://t...
Mark as Played
April 23, 2025 65 mins
Everyone wish Christine a happy birthday! See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Et...
Mark as Played
April 16, 2025 95 mins
See us on tour and don't throw quarters at us!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://...
Mark as Played
April 9, 2025 92 mins
See us on tour and at our EPCOT after party!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https...
Mark as Played
April 2, 2025 83 mins
SEE US ON TOUR!!! Tickets on sale this Friday!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: htt...
Mark as Played
March 26, 2025 68 mins
After recording this episode, Xandy found an empty can of rootbeer on his floor. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtin...
Mark as Played
March 19, 2025 74 mins
If your name is O'Brien, Murphy, Fitzpatrick, etc. it's a very BIG day. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy:...
Mark as Played
March 12, 2025 78 mins
We expect to see your thumbs up if you like this episode. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy deal with Goblins! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://w...
Mark as Played
March 5, 2025 71 mins
We're confident Jimmy Carter would've been a sand monster. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy for some reason! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://ww...
Mark as Played
February 26, 2025 91 mins
If you see Christine by the Charles River trying to sell you on eternal life... no you didn't. Join our not so secret labor force! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Et...
Mark as Played

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