June 3, 2025 • 22 mins
What if the very storms you're desperately trying to outrun are actually the pathway to your healing?
Sexual brokenness, unwanted desires, betrayal, and shame can feel like overwhelming tempests in our lives. Many of us respond by running—numbing out through pornography, hiding in isolation, staying in denial, or blaming others. In today's podcast, we look at the unique actions of buffalo.
Unlike cows that flee from storms (only to spend more time in them), buffalo turn and charge directly into oncoming weather. With their thick, protective coats shielding their most vulnerable areas, they instinctively understand that the fastest way through a storm is straight through it. This behavior parallels the recovery journey perfectly.
While Scripture acknowledges there are appropriate times to flee from temptation (like Joseph running from Potiphar's wife), lasting healing requires the courage to eventually face our storms head-on.
Are you ready to stop running and start facing? The freedom and wholeness you seek await on the other side of your courage. Listen now to discover how to approach your recovery journey like a buffalo rather than a cow.
Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey friends, welcome in to the Becoming Whole podcast
.
I'm AA Ron Taggart, a men'sspiritual coach here at REGEN
and one of the hosts of theBecoming Whole podcast.
Can I just be real with you fora second?
Some of you listening right noware in the middle of a storm so
(00:26):
fierce that you're not evensure how you're still standing.
You're carrying the weight ofsexual sin, betrayal, unwanted
desires and shame so thick thatit feels like you'll never break
free.
So thick that it feels likeyou'll never break free.
(00:51):
You didn't ask for this stormyet here you are and the easy
thing would be to run, to numbout, to hide, to pretend that
everything is fine and, if we'rehonest, there's probably been
plenty of that alreadythroughout your story.
But what if the only way tohealing is through the very
(01:18):
storm you're trying to avoid, toavoid?
Today's episode is about facingthe storms in our sexual
recovery like a buffalo, andit's about learning how to stop
(01:46):
running, start facing and trustthat God is bigger than whatever
you're walking through.
So let's get honest, let's getbrave, let's dive in.
So the first thing aboutweather is that we can't control
it.
We can't control the weather.
We can't control physical.
We can't control the weather.
We can't control physicalstorms when they happen, whether
(02:09):
it's tornadoes in the Midwestand I remember sitting on
porches and just watching stormsroll in when I used to live
back in Michigan and Illinois so, whether tornadoes are rolling
into the Midwest or hurricanesalong the coast, or blizzards up
(02:35):
north, where my in-laws gotclose to 200 inches of snow this
winter, setting records forMichigan or monsoons overseas,
the fact is that everygeographic location has its own
type of storm, and the same istrue in life.
(02:58):
Each of us has our own uniquestorms, different struggles,
different triggers, differentseasons of pain and temptation.
And just like we can't controlthe weather outside, we can't
control the storms that happento us or that we go through.
(03:20):
So if storms are guaranteed, ifthey're part of the terrain of
both life and recovery, then thequestion isn't if the storm
will come.
The question is what are yougoing to do when it hits?
(03:41):
And see?
That's where things get real,because in the face of a storm,
you and I, we have a choice wecan either face it or flee from
it.
And that's where this powerfulmetaphor comes in, one that's
(04:05):
stuck with me for years now andhas completely reframed how I
think, about recovery and thedifficult things in life that we
face.
And this is a story of cows andbuffaloes.
Now, both are created by God,both live on the same plains,
(04:33):
but when a storm shows up, theyrespond in radically different
ways.
So first let's talk about cowsways.
So first let's talk about cows.
When a cow sees a storm coming,their instinct is to flee.
They start moving with thedirection of the storm, trying
(04:59):
to outrun it.
But here's the thing Cows areslow and that storm inevitably
catches up with them.
And because they're moving inthe same direction as the storm,
they actually end up spendingmore time in the very storm that
(05:24):
they're trying to outrun.
Fleeing the storm maximizes thepain, the time and the
frustration that they experiencefrom that storm, and the same
is true for you and me In oursexual brokenness.
Fleeing looks like escapinginto problematic sexual
(05:49):
behaviors like porn and fantasyinstead of confronting difficult
emotions or wounds.
Hiding in isolation and shameinstead of being fully seen and
known.
Staying in denial by minimizing, rationalizing or
spiritualizing our struggle, orblaming or shaming others
(06:14):
instead of taking ownership forour behavior.
Fleeing looks like anythingthat helps us avoid the pain
rather than process it.
Now, is fleeing always bad?
Absolutely not.
In fact, scripture tells usthat there are times to flee,
(06:39):
and we see it very clearly inGenesis 39.
When Joseph fled fromPotiphar's wife when she tried
to seduce him, he did the rightthing in trying to leave that
situation.
As soon as he was aware ofwhere things were heading, he
(07:04):
fled.
He knew he needed to go.
In 1 Corinthians 6.18, paulcommands us to flee from sexual
immorality.
Similarly, in 2 Timothy 2.22,we're told to flee youthful
lusts.
And so, especially when itcomes to some of the things that
(07:25):
are sexual in nature, wesometimes need to flee to kind
of get our wits about us, tokind of think straight, to just
get out of that situation at allcosts so that we can think
clearly.
And that's one of the thingsabout the patterns of addictions
(07:47):
, and when you're in the throesof an addiction you can't think
straight, and there's brainscience that backs that up, so
that fleeing actually creates alittle bit of a buffer to be
able to begin to think straight.
But it's not the end result.
(08:11):
And even David fled from Saulwhen his life was under threat.
So when our lives are underthreat or there's a threat to
our integrity, it's notnecessarily a bad thing to flee.
In fact, it may be required.
But here's the thing aboutfleeing Even though it's
sometimes necessary, it's atemporary but crucial survival
(08:36):
tactic.
Fleeing is not meant to belong-term.
It's a short-term solutionrather than a permanent strategy
.
And what happens after all theprolonged running from the storm
?
And what happens after all theprolonged running from the storm
(08:56):
, even if we've managed to stayahead of it for a time, the
moment we stop running, we findthe storm closer than it was
when we started running.
So what happens?
When we spend our lives runninglike cows, we end up exhausted,
(09:20):
discouraged and we remain stuckin the middle of the storm that
we were trying to avoid.
And that's the trap of sexualsin and brokenness.
We flee into isolation, intofantasy, into porn, hookups,
emotional entanglements, maybeeven just denial, hoping to
(09:43):
escape the pain.
But the storm always catches up.
The storm always catches up,and that's why I love what God
teaches us through buffaloes.
(10:05):
They do something radical.
When the storm comes, they turnand face it.
They turn and face it.
They charge directly into thewind, into the thunder, into the
(10:25):
thing every instinct tells themto avoid.
Why?
Because buffalo knowinstinctively that the fastest
way through a storm is straightthrough it and they are built
(10:48):
for it.
Next time you take a look at abuffalo, I want you to pay
attention to how it looks.
They have thick, heavy furaround their chest and shoulders
and head which really serves askind of an armor against the
(11:11):
wind and rain.
Their bodies are literallydesigned to handle resistance
head on.
They don't waste energy runningfrom what's coming.
They lean into it.
Seriously, take a look at abuffalo.
Maybe pause right now.
(11:31):
Look up a buffalo, just getthis image in your head.
And by running at the storm abuffalo minimizes the amount of
time, pain and frustration thatthey experience from the storm.
They go through the stormfaster and I'd say that they
(12:01):
even come out stronger.
And it's exactly what Godinvites us to do in our recovery
to stop running and startfacing.
So if we apply that in oursexual recovery, we know that we
can't outrun our brokenness, wecan't outrun our trauma, we
(12:31):
can't outrun our pain or ourshame or our patterns of sin.
Sure, we can flee for a whileand again, sometimes we should,
especially in early recovery,when you need safety and space.
But if you want deep healing,lasting healing, at some point
(12:53):
we have to turn and face thestorm.
So what does that look like?
Well, facing the storm mightmean having a hard conversation
that you've been avoiding.
It might be sitting in thediscomfort instead of reaching
for an old coping mechanism,allowing ourselves to feel some
(13:18):
of the pain, maybe some of thememories from trauma or
different things that we'veexperienced, instead of
unhealthy coping mechanisms whenthose things enter into our
minds, possibly seeking answersto the why questions, instead of
(13:41):
saying I don't know.
And I remember early in myrecovery when my wife would ask
me some questions about well,why this and why that I didn't
(14:01):
have the answers and I alsodidn't have the answers for.
(14:21):
So that made me feel worse andmy shame kind of took over and I
tried to control that situationwith anger took over and I
tried to control that situationwith anger.
And so, instead of you knowthat coming out sideways towards
my wife, a better responsewould have been, you know, to
say something like I don't, Idon't know or I don't have the
(14:42):
answers to that, that questionyet.
But I'm going to work towardstrying to figure out why, so
that I can come back and let youknow what I'm discovering.
Facing the storm might look likewalking through a spouse's
betrayal, maybe doing somethinglike a full disclosure.
(15:06):
It might look like owning yourrelapse instead of hiding it, or
grieving the losses instead ofnumbing them, leaning into the
accountability and community andvulnerability.
And sure it's harder, it'smessier, but it's real and it's
(15:34):
lasting.
Because the truth is, you don'tget to choose whether you have
storms.
The only choice you get is howyou respond and, even more
specifically, when you respond.
More specifically, when yourespond, will you face the storm
(15:59):
now head on and begin movingtoward healing, or will you try
to outrun it, only to findyourself stuck in it longer than
necessary?
There's a really powerful storyin Numbers 21, 4 through 9 that
shows us this truth.
The people of israel weretraveling through the wilderness
(16:20):
, tired, discouraged, angry, andthey started to complain
against god and moses.
They said things why have youbrought us out here to die?
There's no food, there's nowater.
This is terrible, just thisconstant grumbling, really even
(16:43):
forgetting what they've justbeen delivered from.
And so, after all thesedifferent complaints and there
were a number of times, um,where multiple, multiple, um
israelites are complaining, soin in response to this,
(17:06):
scripture says that god allowedpoisonous snakes to come among
them, and many were bitten andactually died.
But then God made a way forhealing.
So he instructs Moses to buildthis bronze snake and lift it up
(17:28):
on a pole and anyone who wasbitten could look at it and live
Literally having to face it.
They had to look at the verything that had caused their pain
, lift it up high to find theirhealing.
(17:48):
And the same is true inrecovery.
Healing doesn't come fromignoring pain.
It comes from facing ithonestly and lifting our eyes to
the one who can heal us.
Jesus himself referenced thismoment in John 3, 14-15, saying
(18:10):
that just as Moses lifted up theserpent in the wilderness, so
must the Son of man be lifted upthat whoever believes in Him
may have eternal life.
Facing your storm, your sin,your brokenness, and looking to
Christ is the pathway to healing.
(18:32):
So I want to ask again how doyou respond to the storms in
your life?
Which direction are you heading?
Are you like the cow, trying tooutrun the inevitable, making
(18:57):
the storm last longer?
Are you ready to be like thebuffalo, turning, facing and
trusting that God will carry youthrough?
Just like the buffalo, you weremade to face the storm.
You've been equipped by theSpirit of God, and he tells us
(19:25):
that we are not alone.
Scripture says that he willnever leave us or forsake us,
and so, no matter how difficultthat storm is, I think the most
comforting thing to know is thatyou are not alone, and the
(19:54):
clearer skies that you'relonging for, and the clearer
skies that you're longing for,they're just on the other side
of your courage and walkingthrough that storm with Jesus.
Before we close today, I justwant to pray over you, god.
(20:15):
You see every storm we'rewalking through.
You know every place where weare tempted to flee, to hide, to
run away.
Abba, father, give us thecourage to face the storms in
our lives.
(20:35):
Strengthen us with your spirit,the storms in our lives.
Strengthen us with your spirit.
Armor us with your love andsteady our feet to move toward
healing.
Help us not to fear the painbut to trust that you are with
(20:55):
us in it.
Lift our eyes to you, the onewho brings us true healing and
hope.
Abba, teach us to be like thebuffalo bold, steady and full of
trust.
We surrender our storms to you,father.
Lead us through with yourkindness and your grace.
(21:26):
It's in Jesus' name that wepray, amen.
Thank you so much for beingwith me today and until next
time.
Friends, keep facing the storm.
There is freedom on the otherside.
Hey friends, welcome in to the Becoming Whole podcast
.
I'm AA Ron Taggart, a men'sspiritual coach here at REGEN
and one of the hosts of theBecoming Whole podcast.
Can I just be real with you fora second?
Some of you listening right noware in the middle of a storm so
(00:26):
fierce that you're not evensure how you're still standing.
You're carrying the weight ofsexual sin, betrayal, unwanted
desires and shame so thick thatit feels like you'll never break
free.
So thick that it feels likeyou'll never break free.
(00:51):
You didn't ask for this stormyet here you are and the easy
thing would be to run, to numbout, to hide, to pretend that
everything is fine and, if we'rehonest, there's probably been
plenty of that alreadythroughout your story.
But what if the only way tohealing is through the very
(01:18):
storm you're trying to avoid, toavoid?
Today's episode is about facingthe storms in our sexual
recovery like a buffalo, andit's about learning how to stop
(01:46):
running, start facing and trustthat God is bigger than whatever
you're walking through.
So let's get honest, let's getbrave, let's dive in.
So the first thing aboutweather is that we can't control
it.
We can't control the weather.
We can't control physical.
We can't control the weather.
We can't control physicalstorms when they happen, whether
(02:09):
it's tornadoes in the Midwestand I remember sitting on
porches and just watching stormsroll in when I used to live
back in Michigan and Illinois so, whether tornadoes are rolling
into the Midwest or hurricanesalong the coast, or blizzards up
(02:35):
north, where my in-laws gotclose to 200 inches of snow this
winter, setting records forMichigan or monsoons overseas,
the fact is that everygeographic location has its own
type of storm, and the same istrue in life.
(02:58):
Each of us has our own uniquestorms, different struggles,
different triggers, differentseasons of pain and temptation.
And just like we can't controlthe weather outside, we can't
control the storms that happento us or that we go through.
(03:20):
So if storms are guaranteed, ifthey're part of the terrain of
both life and recovery, then thequestion isn't if the storm
will come.
The question is what are yougoing to do when it hits?
(03:41):
And see?
That's where things get real,because in the face of a storm,
you and I, we have a choice wecan either face it or flee from
it.
And that's where this powerfulmetaphor comes in, one that's
(04:05):
stuck with me for years now andhas completely reframed how I
think, about recovery and thedifficult things in life that we
face.
And this is a story of cows andbuffaloes.
Now, both are created by God,both live on the same plains,
(04:33):
but when a storm shows up, theyrespond in radically different
ways.
So first let's talk about cowsways.
So first let's talk about cows.
When a cow sees a storm coming,their instinct is to flee.
They start moving with thedirection of the storm, trying
(04:59):
to outrun it.
But here's the thing Cows areslow and that storm inevitably
catches up with them.
And because they're moving inthe same direction as the storm,
they actually end up spendingmore time in the very storm that
(05:24):
they're trying to outrun.
Fleeing the storm maximizes thepain, the time and the
frustration that they experiencefrom that storm, and the same
is true for you and me In oursexual brokenness.
Fleeing looks like escapinginto problematic sexual
(05:49):
behaviors like porn and fantasyinstead of confronting difficult
emotions or wounds.
Hiding in isolation and shameinstead of being fully seen and
known.
Staying in denial by minimizing, rationalizing or
spiritualizing our struggle, orblaming or shaming others
(06:14):
instead of taking ownership forour behavior.
Fleeing looks like anythingthat helps us avoid the pain
rather than process it.
Now, is fleeing always bad?
Absolutely not.
In fact, scripture tells usthat there are times to flee,
(06:39):
and we see it very clearly inGenesis 39.
When Joseph fled fromPotiphar's wife when she tried
to seduce him, he did the rightthing in trying to leave that
situation.
As soon as he was aware ofwhere things were heading, he
(07:04):
fled.
He knew he needed to go.
In 1 Corinthians 6.18, paulcommands us to flee from sexual
immorality.
Similarly, in 2 Timothy 2.22,we're told to flee youthful
lusts.
And so, especially when itcomes to some of the things that
(07:25):
are sexual in nature, wesometimes need to flee to kind
of get our wits about us, tokind of think straight, to just
get out of that situation at allcosts so that we can think
clearly.
And that's one of the thingsabout the patterns of addictions
(07:47):
, and when you're in the throesof an addiction you can't think
straight, and there's brainscience that backs that up, so
that fleeing actually creates alittle bit of a buffer to be
able to begin to think straight.
But it's not the end result.
(08:11):
And even David fled from Saulwhen his life was under threat.
So when our lives are underthreat or there's a threat to
our integrity, it's notnecessarily a bad thing to flee.
In fact, it may be required.
But here's the thing aboutfleeing Even though it's
sometimes necessary, it's atemporary but crucial survival
(08:36):
tactic.
Fleeing is not meant to belong-term.
It's a short-term solutionrather than a permanent strategy
.
And what happens after all theprolonged running from the storm
?
And what happens after all theprolonged running from the storm
(08:56):
, even if we've managed to stayahead of it for a time, the
moment we stop running, we findthe storm closer than it was
when we started running.
So what happens?
When we spend our lives runninglike cows, we end up exhausted,
(09:20):
discouraged and we remain stuckin the middle of the storm that
we were trying to avoid.
And that's the trap of sexualsin and brokenness.
We flee into isolation, intofantasy, into porn, hookups,
emotional entanglements, maybeeven just denial, hoping to
(09:43):
escape the pain.
But the storm always catches up.
The storm always catches up,and that's why I love what God
teaches us through buffaloes.
(10:05):
They do something radical.
When the storm comes, they turnand face it.
They turn and face it.
They charge directly into thewind, into the thunder, into the
(10:25):
thing every instinct tells themto avoid.
Why?
Because buffalo knowinstinctively that the fastest
way through a storm is straightthrough it and they are built
(10:48):
for it.
Next time you take a look at abuffalo, I want you to pay
attention to how it looks.
They have thick, heavy furaround their chest and shoulders
and head which really serves askind of an armor against the
(11:11):
wind and rain.
Their bodies are literallydesigned to handle resistance
head on.
They don't waste energy runningfrom what's coming.
They lean into it.
Seriously, take a look at abuffalo.
Maybe pause right now.
(11:31):
Look up a buffalo, just getthis image in your head.
And by running at the storm abuffalo minimizes the amount of
time, pain and frustration thatthey experience from the storm.
They go through the stormfaster and I'd say that they
(12:01):
even come out stronger.
And it's exactly what Godinvites us to do in our recovery
to stop running and startfacing.
So if we apply that in oursexual recovery, we know that we
can't outrun our brokenness, wecan't outrun our trauma, we
(12:31):
can't outrun our pain or ourshame or our patterns of sin.
Sure, we can flee for a whileand again, sometimes we should,
especially in early recovery,when you need safety and space.
But if you want deep healing,lasting healing, at some point
(12:53):
we have to turn and face thestorm.
So what does that look like?
Well, facing the storm mightmean having a hard conversation
that you've been avoiding.
It might be sitting in thediscomfort instead of reaching
for an old coping mechanism,allowing ourselves to feel some
(13:18):
of the pain, maybe some of thememories from trauma or
different things that we'veexperienced, instead of
unhealthy coping mechanisms whenthose things enter into our
minds, possibly seeking answersto the why questions, instead of
(13:41):
saying I don't know.
And I remember early in myrecovery when my wife would ask
me some questions about well,why this and why that I didn't
(14:01):
have the answers and I alsodidn't have the answers for.
(14:21):
So that made me feel worse andmy shame kind of took over and I
tried to control that situationwith anger took over and I
tried to control that situationwith anger.
And so, instead of you knowthat coming out sideways towards
my wife, a better responsewould have been, you know, to
say something like I don't, Idon't know or I don't have the
(14:42):
answers to that, that questionyet.
But I'm going to work towardstrying to figure out why, so
that I can come back and let youknow what I'm discovering.
Facing the storm might look likewalking through a spouse's
betrayal, maybe doing somethinglike a full disclosure.
(15:06):
It might look like owning yourrelapse instead of hiding it, or
grieving the losses instead ofnumbing them, leaning into the
accountability and community andvulnerability.
And sure it's harder, it'smessier, but it's real and it's
(15:34):
lasting.
Because the truth is, you don'tget to choose whether you have
storms.
The only choice you get is howyou respond and, even more
specifically, when you respond.
More specifically, when yourespond, will you face the storm
(15:59):
now head on and begin movingtoward healing, or will you try
to outrun it, only to findyourself stuck in it longer than
necessary?
There's a really powerful storyin Numbers 21, 4 through 9 that
shows us this truth.
The people of israel weretraveling through the wilderness
(16:20):
, tired, discouraged, angry, andthey started to complain
against god and moses.
They said things why have youbrought us out here to die?
There's no food, there's nowater.
This is terrible, just thisconstant grumbling, really even
(16:43):
forgetting what they've justbeen delivered from.
And so, after all thesedifferent complaints and there
were a number of times, um,where multiple, multiple, um
israelites are complaining, soin in response to this,
(17:06):
scripture says that god allowedpoisonous snakes to come among
them, and many were bitten andactually died.
But then God made a way forhealing.
So he instructs Moses to buildthis bronze snake and lift it up
(17:28):
on a pole and anyone who wasbitten could look at it and live
Literally having to face it.
They had to look at the verything that had caused their pain
, lift it up high to find theirhealing.
(17:48):
And the same is true inrecovery.
Healing doesn't come fromignoring pain.
It comes from facing ithonestly and lifting our eyes to
the one who can heal us.
Jesus himself referenced thismoment in John 3, 14-15, saying
(18:10):
that just as Moses lifted up theserpent in the wilderness, so
must the Son of man be lifted upthat whoever believes in Him
may have eternal life.
Facing your storm, your sin,your brokenness, and looking to
Christ is the pathway to healing.
(18:32):
So I want to ask again how doyou respond to the storms in
your life?
Which direction are you heading?
Are you like the cow, trying tooutrun the inevitable, making
(18:57):
the storm last longer?
Are you ready to be like thebuffalo, turning, facing and
trusting that God will carry youthrough?
Just like the buffalo, you weremade to face the storm.
You've been equipped by theSpirit of God, and he tells us
(19:25):
that we are not alone.
Scripture says that he willnever leave us or forsake us,
and so, no matter how difficultthat storm is, I think the most
comforting thing to know is thatyou are not alone, and the
(19:54):
clearer skies that you'relonging for, and the clearer
skies that you're longing for,they're just on the other side
of your courage and walkingthrough that storm with Jesus.
Before we close today, I justwant to pray over you, god.
(20:15):
You see every storm we'rewalking through.
You know every place where weare tempted to flee, to hide, to
run away.
Abba, father, give us thecourage to face the storms in
our lives.
(20:35):
Strengthen us with your spirit,the storms in our lives.
Strengthen us with your spirit.
Armor us with your love andsteady our feet to move toward
healing.
Help us not to fear the painbut to trust that you are with
(20:55):
us in it.
Lift our eyes to you, the onewho brings us true healing and
hope.
Abba, teach us to be like thebuffalo bold, steady and full of
trust.
We surrender our storms to you,father.
Lead us through with yourkindness and your grace.
(21:26):
It's in Jesus' name that wepray, amen.
Thank you so much for beingwith me today and until next
time.
Friends, keep facing the storm.
There is freedom on the otherside.
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