From Vogons to Walkmans

Join Mark, Jon and Danny as they traverse the V section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Vogon constructor fleets

Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy – not actually evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat and recycled as firelighters.

The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Vogon poetry

Vogon poetry is the third worst poetry in the universe.

Vogsphere

Many, many light years from earth lies the grim and long abandoned planet, Vogsphere. Somewhere on a fetid, fog-bound mud bank on this planet there stands, surrounded by the dirty, broken and empty carapaces of the last few jeweled scuttling crabs, a small stone monument which marks the place, where it is thought, the species Vogon Vogonblurtus first arose. On the monument there is carved an arrow which points away into the fog, under which are inscribed in plain, simple letters the words “The buck stops there.”

Volluing

For the meaning of the word “vollue”, buy a copy of Squornshellous Swamptalk at any remaindered bookshop, or alternatively buy The Ultra-Complete Maximegalon Dictionary, as the University will be very glad to get it off their hands and regain some valuable parking lots.

Vroomfondel

Vroomfondel is a philosopher from Cruxwan University. In the radio series he was played by Jim Broadbent.

Walkmen

For some reason, Ford throws a bunch of Walkmens out to the crowds thronging around the ship that lands on Earth, in Mostly Harmless.

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• Charles Pooter
• The Diary of a Nobody
• Quote by the Dalai Lama
• The Vogsphere slapping sticks
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