Beyond the Beaded Curtain
Plunge deep into vintage adult cinema. Each episode, we step through the beaded curtain into the adult section and dust off an old, dirty VHS tape and slide it lovingly into our VCR. We think about it, we talk about it, and we take your pleasure seriously. Book your appointment now with the expert hands of Monday Blue, Randy Chardonnay and Dock Sounder.
Episodes
36 Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros 2010 with guest Jack Stallion
So, here's the deal folks. Jack and I watched this movie, and it's not a good movie, and we talked about it anyway. We had some new and different recording mishaps that make for a slightly disjointed conclusion. And instead of getting this published in time for my birthday, I got all depressed and didn't do it and now I...
Randy and Jack Stallion are checking out a more resent, softcore movie this week because concepts like "vintage" and "time" are meaningless and we all know it. Maybe our highest-rated movie of all time, but keep in mind that this is a month into lockdown so who can say what's going on with our tastes exactly. Plenty of cast-overlap with the "Breastiverse" flicks we reviewed early on.
Not really sure what to do with the numbering system on these episodes. Maybe I'll just make it more and more confusing. Maybe I'll just restart from episode one, and count all the episodes equally? Who knows! But even that doesn't really work because there are a couple of "lost" episodes that count in our episode numbers but have never been released. Mysterious! Anyway, here I am talkin...
It's another solo Randy episode! That's the thing everyone loves, right? Hope so! Randy spends most of this episode talking about anise-flavored booze. And why shouldn't he? It's much more exciting than this movie! Lots of ferns and 80s lingerie, but otherwise, not much to get excited about. Oh well! All of us here at BBC headquarters wish you a safe quarantine and we'd like to remind yo...
How about a long episode? Randy doesn't have anything better to do. And there's lots to talk about because Randy has got Jack Stallion on the pod today. Did we take this too seriously? Perhaps! But these are serious times. Cool soundtrack. Bad movie. Oh well!
Cast and crew:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0192757/
Full movie:
https://xhamster.com/videos/the-vixens-of-kung-fu-1975-1162839...
So I read that nobody's listening to podcasts right now, which I'm guessing is because podcasts are often a form of entertainment we experience while doing other things, like driving to work. And nobody's driving to work. Oh well! I'm going to keep making new episodes and releasing them at no particular time because why not? I can think of no good reason. So here you go: Bad Girls.
Special guest Honey Wellbutrin, an animator, called in this week to talk about our first animated movie, and lemme tell ya: it sucks. It's the worst thing we've ever seen. Absolute trash from start to finish. Considerably worse than anything we've ever covered! We've only recently really locked in the rating system, but regardless of how we might've scored previous films, this is absolut...
Look, we're just going to drop this early because it 100% feels like the world is ending and I can't have it end without you all knowing what I think about The Pig Keeper's Daughter (1972). Could've used more pig. And there you go! That's the end of it! Now you know! Don't even bother listening! JK please bother listening. From IMDB: Moonbeam S...
Hey sorry for the late episode folks! I can't imagine anyone is organizing their week around this so you probably didn't notice, but here goes! Another solo episode, this time about a much better movie. Sorry you didn't get to watch this one, Reno! Amanda By Night is a quality noir flick, or at least it's pretty good compared to most of the stuff we watch! The story basically holds toget...
It's a special episode with our first guest of the year, Reno Dakota! Reno Dakota hated this movie so much that after watching it, she turned into an anti-porn crusader. Also, she tells Randy on mic that he should immediately quit the podcast. All in all, a great episode! Bad movie though. Not enough Buffalo. Not enough bowling. This podcast rejects the term "bimbo" so we can't say wheth...
1983's Aerobisex Girls may be in the XRCO Hall of Fame, but we're not sure why. Oh well! Tina Blair is good as Eleyna, the pushy aerobics instructor. And Eleyna's girlfriend, Tina, played by Bridgette Royalle, looks great on roller skates. And, as there are no fellas in this movie, we are pleased to report zero taint shots and zero shots of men donald-ducking. (Donald-ducking is when dud...
In the distant future, some cheap-looking robots are doing their best to teach the last human being about earth by showing her porn movies. It's pretty good! Or maybe it's bad and each one of these movies we watch brings down our standards just a little bit?
Cast and crew:
If you enjoyed other 70s brain-melters like Her Name Was Lisa or The Devil in Miss Jones you may just like 3 A.M.! It's a slow burn, with a dark and moody atmosphere that conveys more dread than horniness. Nice turns from Georgina Spelvin, Judith Hamilton, and Sharon Thorpe. Lots of sweaters and stereos. And incest. Truly an abundance of incest. Sorry!
Also: when we lost our sound guy, w...
Hey folks does anyone subscribe to this show anymore? And if anyone does, will I even be able to find out?
Anyway, this is a solo episode featuring--and I cannot stress this enough--your least-favorite third of our menage a trois. Sorry! He's the only one available! Our show is like one of those weird legacy rock acts that tour county fairs and the only original member is just the drumm...
Yes, yes, we know it’s been forever. We’re sorry. We were doing an experiment to see if we could get someone to @ us on twitter with expressions of concern. Also we know the episodes are out of order. You’ll get Episode 22 some other time. And you would’ve gotten 23 earlier but Randy is bad at editing. He hasn’t even give this episode a final safety listen ...
Dixie Ray Hollywood Star is close to enough to a “regular” detective movie that it was recut and released in an R-rated version. Kinda neat! If you trimmed down most of our movies to secure an R-rating, you’d barely have enough left for a short, let alone a full film!
And, like pl...
Hurray! We did it! Twenty episodes, and only a little bit, slightly late on our standard, semi-weekly schedule that we’ve been doing since the very beginning and don’t ask any follow-up questions, thank you.
Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet is a movie about visitors from a planet ...
Jerry Martin (Jamie Gillis) has a pretty rough life. Yes, pretty ladies hurl themselves at him, and yes, his main gig as an actor seems to be accompanying actresses to parties. But on the other hand, he doesn’t have that much money. Sad! So his agent, JC, makes him an offer: $100,000 if Jerry can film JC’s sister and JC’s four nieces having sex. JC expects ...
We sure you get a Big Thrill out of hearing Monday and Randy talk about this week’s movie! That’s right--just two of your favorite porn scholars are here this for this episode, but don’t worry! We’ve got you covered. We’re talking about eighties hair, eighties clothes, eighties must...
Here it is, folks! A movie so powerful that it may have ended our program! This is not an exaggeration. Trying to make sense of this moody French philosophical treatise on the erotic seems to have broken our spirits. Please let us know if you think we were done in by the cumulative effects of our work, or if something about Read more
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