July 22, 2025 • 24 mins
Emotions aren’t problems to solve—they’re messengers revealing what we truly need.
In this episode of Beyond the Class, CFCC CEO and organizational psychologist Misty Janks explores how emotional intelligence (EI) transforms relationships, decision-making, and leadership.
The conversation begins around Daniel Goleman’s five components of emotional intelligence:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
These aren’t just abstract ideas—they’re practical tools that shape how we show up in every interaction. Misty explains how emotional catalysts—specific events that trigger strong emotional responses—can uncover our values and unmet needs. Whether it’s frustration pointing to a need for clarity or anxiety signaling a desire for safety, emotions guide us toward more profound understanding.
Listeners will gain three actionable strategies for managing emotional catalysts:
- Identify your triggers—both positive and negative.
- Pause before reacting—interrupting automatic responses and allowing space for thoughtful action.
- Reframe challenges by viewing emotional moments as opportunities for growth.
The impact of emotional intelligence goes far beyond the workplace. Leaders with high EI foster cultures of trust, adaptability, and psychological safety, while individuals experience less stress and deeper, more fulfilling relationships.
Whether you're leading a team, navigating family dynamics, or simply striving to show up more intentionally, this episode offers practical wisdom for turning emotional awareness into your greatest strength.
👉 Visit https://www.chapmancommunities.org/ to learn more about bringing emotional intelligence to your organization.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Misty Janks (00:01):
Mastering emotional intelligence and handling
emotional catalysts effectivelyis not just a workplace skill,
it's a life skill.
Adam Salgat (00:10):
Welcome to Beyond the Class From Knowledge to
Action, the audio cast thathelps Chapman Foundation alumni
continue the journey of applyingthe skills they have built and
turning them into practical,intentional actions for everyday
life them into practical,intentional actions for everyday
life.
I'm Adam Salga, and today we'rediving into a topic that
touches every part of our livesat work, at home and within
(00:31):
ourselves emotional intelligence.
Now, I know that's a phrasethat gets tossed around a lot,
but emotional intelligence, orEI, isn't just a trendy
leadership term, it's a lifeskill.
Isn't just a trendy leadershipterm, it's a life skill.
It's about how we understandour emotions, how we respond to
them and how we connect withothers in meaningful,
(00:51):
constructive ways.
And at the heart of today'sconversation is something we
refer to as emotional catalysts,those moments that spark an
emotional reaction.
Maybe it's a comment in ameeting, a sudden change in
plans or even a memory thatresurfaces unexpectedly.
These catalysts can eitherderail us or, if we handle them
(01:14):
well, they can become powerfultools for awareness and growth.
To help us unpack all of this,I'm joined once again with Misty
Jenks, ceo of the ChapmanFoundation.
Misty is a thought leader andorganizational psychologist
who's passionate aboutunleashing the power and
potential of individuals andorganizations.
Misty welcome back.
Misty Janks (01:35):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm excited for thisconversation and grateful for
the opportunity to explore suchan important topic.
Adam Salgat (01:42):
All right Misty, so let's start with the big
picture.
You wrote a blog about thistopic and in there you lay out
why emotional intelligence is soessential, not just for leaders
, but for anyone who wants tothrive in relationships and
decision making.
Can you walk us through andcontinue to explain what
emotional intelligence is andbegin laying the groundwork
(02:04):
about why it matters?
Misty Janks (02:06):
Absolutely, adam.
Emotional intelligence is theability to recognize, understand
and manage our emotions, and torecognize, understand and
influence the emotions of others.
Daniel Goldman breaks it downinto five key components.
The first component isself-awareness, which is the
ability to recognize your ownemotions and their impact.
Adam Salgat (02:28):
All right, so I'm going to interrupt you and I
know you just started in onthese five key factors.
But I want to ask you aboutthis, because when I hear that,
I immediately start thinkingabout our community listens and
the extended disc assessment.
How does the listens class andevaluation begin to lay the
groundwork for self-awareness?
Misty Janks (02:49):
Yes, that connection makes a lot of sense.
Our community listens and theextended DISC assessment are
powerful entry points intoself-awareness.
This class creates a spacewhere people can pause, reflect
and begin to understand howtheir communication style
impacts others.
Disc in particular offerslanguage and structure for
recognizing our naturaltendencies.
(03:10):
That awareness is the firststep towards emotional
intelligence.
Once you understand yourselfmore clearly, you can begin to
manage your responses moreintentionally and build stronger
, more empathetic relationships.
Adam Salgat (03:23):
That sounds exactly like what I hear a lot of
people say when they leave theOur Community Lessons class, and
I'm sure you've heard that too.
Misty Janks (03:29):
Absolutely every class.
Adam Salgat (03:32):
So thanks for doing that and, listeners, I want to
give a quick advertisement forour virtual meetings, our
monthly roundtables, where wediscuss different skills related
to the lessons class, and alsoour app, cfcc Leads, where you
can look through continuouslearning options and interactive
tools to help stay sharp.
All right, so let's get back toDaniel Goleman's five key
(03:54):
components of emotionalintelligence.
The first one we just discussedwas self-awareness.
Please continue to number two.
Misty Janks (04:01):
Yes, number two is self-regulation, which is
managing your emotions in aconstructive way.
Number three is motivation,which is using emotions to fuel
achievement rather than hinderit.
Number four is empathy, whichis understanding and responding
to the emotions of others.
And finally, number five ishaving social skills, which is
(04:21):
the ability to build strongrelationships and manage
interpersonal dynamics.
You mentioned number three inthere, which is the ability to
build strong relationships andmanage interpersonal dynamics.
Adam Salgat (04:27):
You mentioned number three in there, which was
motivation.
I feel like that is somethingthat often gets brought up in
sports, that you know lookingfor like an emotion that just
happened on the diamond on thefield that really can drive
motivation towards improvementinstead of looking at it like a
defeat right.
Misty Janks (04:46):
That's the perfect example.
It's understanding.
Okay, we just had thisexperience.
Maybe I'm from that experience.
I'm frustrated.
So what are you going toactually do with that emotion?
Are you going to let it propelyou forward or are you just
going to get in your head andlet it bring you down?
Adam Salgat (05:04):
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, that's a motivatingfactor, and I know there's a
famous story of Michael Jordancreating stories sometimes and
creating things to drive hismotivation.
Go ahead and continue aboutthese skills.
Misty Janks (05:16):
Perfect.
Yes, these are not just softskills.
They are foundational to how welead, how we collaborate and
how we show up in the world.
High EI helps us navigateconflict, build trust and make
decisions that are boththoughtful and caring.
And here is the thing Evenpeople with strong EI still have
emotions.
(05:37):
That is where emotionalcatalysts come in.
Adam Salgat (05:40):
Okay, so we're definitely going to get into
more detail on emotionalcatalysts, but I do want to take
like a quick sidebar and askyou a question, because this
isn't the first time that you orour chief program officer,
katie Trotter, has brought upthe name Daniel Goldman.
So for me and our listeners,can you tell us a little bit
more about him and about hisresearch too?
Misty Janks (06:02):
Sure.
Daniel Goldman is apsychologist and author best
known for popularizing theconcept of emotional
intelligence.
His groundbreaking bookEmotional Intelligence showed us
that skills like self-awareness, empathy and building strong
relationships matter just asmuch, if not more, than IQ when
it comes to leadership andsuccess in life.
(06:24):
His work is widely used becauseit connects neuroscience,
psychology and practicalleadership in a way that is both
research-based and highlyapplicable.
Adam Salgat (06:34):
Thank you for doing that.
Yeah, like I said, I heard hisname.
I've seen a little bit, but itsounds like that might be a good
summer read.
Misty Janks (06:41):
It is, I love it.
Adam Salgat (06:43):
Yeah, I know you're well, you're a psychology nerd.
Is it fair for me to call youthat Perfect?
So let's start with yourfoundational idea from the blog.
Emotions themselves aren't aproblem.
It's how we respond to themthat matter.
That perspective can reallyshift things, and you describe
emotions as messengers.
Can you unpack what that meansand how we can learn to listen
(07:06):
to them more effectively?
Misty Janks (07:09):
Yes, Emotions are signals.
They are not random orinconvenient.
They're actually trying to tellus something, so we just need
to slow down enough to be payingattention to that message.
For example, frustration mightbe pointing to a need for
clarity or control.
Anxiety might signaluncertainty or a need for safety
.
Even disengagement can be asign that we are craving meaning
(07:32):
and connection.
Instead of ignoring or reactingimpulsively to emotions, we can
pause and ask ourselves what isthis emotion trying to tell me?
What underlying need is notbeing met?
And then how can I productivelyaddress that need?
For example, if a leader feelsfrustrated when their ideas are
ignored in a meeting, the deeperneed might be wanting to feel
(07:55):
valued and heard.
Instead of reacting defensively, they can acknowledge the need
and find a constructive way toexpress it, such as seeking
feedback or adjustingcommunication strategies.
When we ignore or suppressthese emotions, we miss the
message.
But when we pause and ask whatis this emotion trying to tell
me, we can gain insight.
That insight helps us respondintentionally.
Adam Salgat (08:19):
So why is that important?
Why should we respond withintention, and what can happen
if we don't?
Misty Janks (08:26):
That's a great question, and it's because when
we do not respond with intention, we often default to just a
reaction, and reactions areusually driven by impulse, not
clarity.
That can lead tomisunderstandings, broken trust
or decisions we later regret.
But when we pause to respondintentionally, we create space
(08:46):
for better choices, strongerrelationships and more effective
leadership.
It's not about suppressingemotions.
It's about understanding themso we can channel it in a way
that aligns with our values andgoals.
Responding with intention iswhere emotional intelligence
becomes visible and impactful.
Adam Salgat (09:06):
All right, let's step into those emotional
catalysts, as you mentioned.
I'm sure many of us have heardthat term and I guarantee we
felt them, even if we didn'thave a name for it.
So what are they and why dothey matter so much?
Misty Janks (09:20):
Emotional catalysts are specific events that
provoke an emotional response.
It can be something very simpleor it can be tied to a past
experience, a personal value ora belief.
They can be positive, like joyor gratitude, or negative, like
frustration and sadness.
For example, if someone valuesstability and their team
suddenly changes direction, thatcan be a catalyst for anxiety.
(09:43):
Or if someone fears failure,even constructive feedback can
feel threatening.
Emotional catalysts can besituational, like an unexpected
email from a supervisor, orinternal, like a memory or a
thought that resurfaces in adifficult moment.
Understanding what causes ouremotions is the first step to
managing them effectively.
Adam Salgat (10:05):
So, once we recognize a catalyst, what do we
do with it?
How do we handle it in ahealthy, productive way?
Misty Janks (10:13):
I recommend these three key strategies.
First one is to increaseself-awareness by working to
identify your catalyst.
So it's important to know thatbefore you can manage your
emotional catalyst, you need toknow what they are.
There's a couple ways that youcan go about this.
First, you can reflect on pastsituations that caused emotional
(10:33):
responses and really thinkabout what is that situation or
what is that memory about.
Number two, you can start tonotice patterns in your
reactions as you go about yourday or three, you can try to
keep a journal of emotionalresponses to recognize recurring
catalysts and better understandyour emotional landscape.
Adam Salgat (10:54):
Those are great tips.
I know you mentioned there'sthree key strategies.
Why don't you step into numbertwo?
Misty Janks (10:59):
Yes.
Number two is to regulatebefore reacting by using the
pause method.
When emotions are recognized,pause before responding.
This interrupts the automaticreaction and gives your brain
time to shift from an emotionalresponse to a thoughtful one.
You can do this by taking adeep breath.
This engages yourparasympathetic nervous system,
(11:21):
helping you to stay calm.
You could ask yourself what isreally happening here.
Why am I having this emotion?
Or you can delay respondinguntil you can do so with clarity
.
This might mean stepping awayfor a moment.
Adam Salgat (11:35):
I was recently talking to a friend who was
talking about certain thingsgoing on with their work life,
and one of the things Imentioned to them is it sounds
like you're reacting prettyquickly and I wasn't trying to
give advice, but I could justtell that they knew it too.
So I reflected that back tothem and one of the things I
mentioned was that deep breath.
I know it seems like such asimple thing and it's a hard
(11:57):
thing to do, though in themoment.
Misty Janks (11:59):
Yes, absolutely, and I think we've all had that
email come in.
That kind of could maybe botherus, and so we want to give it
24 hours before we respond.
Adam Salgat (12:08):
Yes, absolutely so.
Let's move on to tip numberthree, and we're going to come
back to that email statementthat you just made too.
Misty Janks (12:15):
Okay.
Strategy number three is toreframe the catalyst by trying
to shift your perspective.
Once you recognize an emotionalcatalyst, you can reframe it in
a way that leads to growth.
First, you can replaceassumptions with curiosity
Instead of assuming negativeintent, ask questions to clarify
.
Second, you can focus on whatyou can control.
(12:38):
You cannot always controlsituations, but you can control
your reactions and finally turnchallenges into learning
opportunities.
Emotional catalysts can besignals for personal growth.
Adam Salgat (13:03):
Keep that perspective, especially during
the challenging time, can makethe event easier for us.
In reading it, it's triggeringsomething right Like what is it
exactly that is triggering?
It may take me a little bit tofigure it out, but there's
definitely an emotion going on.
Misty Janks (13:19):
Yeah, I think we all have those examples.
I did it this morning.
You can just feel like, uh-oh,something's bubbling up here for
me.
Can you take time to reallypause and dig into it as key?
Adam Salgat (13:31):
In the email that I'm thinking about, I think like
what was your first strategyagain?
Misty Janks (13:41):
Yes, that first strategy is to increase
self-awareness by working toidentify your catalyst?
Adam Salgat (13:43):
Yeah, so if I'm thinking about that email and
the emotion that was going on, Ithink the catalyst there is the
fact that it was requestingchange for a project, that I
felt like I was going down onepath and it was requesting a
change.
That not not that I disagreedwith the change, but it was just
something I had been working onfor maybe a few weeks, and so
(14:05):
it was just that initialreaction of like, okay, not what
I've been working exactlytowards, this might be a better
change, but it's still taking mea moment to accept it, breathe
it in, I guess, like just kindof move into that.
And I know one of my catalystsis change, that at times I can
(14:27):
be slow to change, so I knowthat's probably where that
emotion was stemming from.
Misty Janks (14:34):
Well, it's great that you're nailing this first
strategy, so let's talk aboutthe second one.
Then, to regulate beforereacting by using the pause
method.
Did you find yourself naturallydoing that?
Adam Salgat (14:44):
Yeah, I think initially I did, and then I felt
like it'd probably be better ifwe just talked about it in
person and since I knew I hadopportunity to speak to a person
coming up, I just I sent anemail saying, hey, can we talk
about this?
And set it up, so that way Iknew I could take a little time
also to analyze and, like acceptand then also take the time to
(15:07):
put my thoughts on paper, whichtechnically doesn't exist,
barely exists in our world.
But everybody knows what I mean.
Right, like you, take the timeto collect yourself, and so that
was very helpful to take thatspace to regulate before I
reacted.
Misty Janks (15:24):
All right, perfect.
Then let's look at this thirdstrategy, and it is to reframe
the catalyst by trying to shiftyour perspective.
Did you find that you werenaturally doing that?
Adam Salgat (15:37):
I think to some level, but I don't know how much
it was needed in this case,meaning I knew that, like for
example you mentioned in there,instead of assuming negative
intent like the email I knew wascoming from someone who that
was definitely not theirintention and never is their
intention so I knew, like thatwas something I could, I just
(15:58):
breezed by I guess you know whatI mean Like I I'm in a space
where I can fully accept that.
So that's definitely an elementand then, uh, an element that
was easy to do, I should say so,reframing it in the idea of
looking at it from theirperspective.
I think what it maybe caused meto do is in that time of
(16:19):
putting my thoughts on paper hasallowed me to maybe explain
where I'm coming from, so we canwork on this project now
together with all the same baseinformation.
Misty Janks (16:29):
Well, it sounds like you're really knocking
these out of the park, Adam.
Adam Salgat (16:34):
Trying to.
I mean, life is not easy.
We're going to make mistakes inall of these spaces for sure.
So when I think about it, I'mlike what I've really tried to
do is use that catalyst as ateaching moment right for myself
, like take an opportunity andbuild off of it so I can
continue to practice theseskills.
Whether it's an email, it'salways tougher when somebody
(16:56):
maybe says something in personand you have that initial
reaction.
But it's also a greatopportunity to think okay,
what's happening right now, takea breath, relax and see if you
can come back to it.
But I think sometimes in workenvironments, those emotions
like I just talked about, likeit's not the idea of suppressing
them, right, but sometimes inwork environments emotions are
(17:18):
not really invited and they, youknow, might even be asked to be
suppressed.
Have you heard or seen thatbefore?
Misty Janks (17:25):
Yeah, I have, and it's discouraging and
unsustainable.
I believe that that is the wayof the past.
Remember, emotionalintelligence is not about
suppressing emotions.
It's about understanding them,regulating them and using them
effectively.
It is the foundation for strongleadership, healthy
relationships and personalwell-being.
Adam Salgat (17:46):
So there might be a case where we are in a moment,
interaction, person to personinteraction where we're finding
the best choice is to, at thatmoment, suppress the emotion but
not to forget about it, meaning, don't suppress it to the point
where you're not addressing it,but suppress it so you can take
(18:07):
your time with it.
Is that what I'm hearing?
Misty Janks (18:09):
I guess it depends on the relationship, because I
know self-disclosure can be abeautiful gift to you and the
person that you're having thatconversation with.
A lot of times I'll say youknow what I'm noticing, that I'm
having a reaction to this, andit's just very real and
authentic and it gives space tohelp us both understand why is
(18:30):
it happening for me.
And so it could be aninvitation then if you were on
the other side of thatconversation where I could
explore my values or a pastexperience, right, and so it
could actually build a betterrelationship for both of us
because we'd have thatunderstanding about me going
forward in the future.
Adam Salgat (18:47):
I really love that reminder about that.
There might be a time when itmight be best to come back to it
, but also, doing it in thatmoment can be healthy too.
Yeah, so continue on.
If you don't mind, tell me alittle bit about what it means
to be a leader with high EI.
Misty Janks (19:01):
Leaders with high EI create cultures of trust,
adaptability and psychologicalsafety.
They can listen deeply, respondwith empathy and guide their
teams through change withsteadiness and clarity.
Their presence encouragesopenness and reduces fear, which
allows people to contributemore fully.
Team members with high EInavigate workplace challenges
(19:22):
with resilience andcollaboration.
They're more likely to manageconflict constructively, give
and receive feedback with graceand stay focused under pressure.
This leads to healthierdynamics and better outcomes
across the team.
Looking through the individuallens, individuals with high EI
experience less stress, betterrelationships and greater
(19:42):
overall well-being.
They are more attuned to theirown needs and emotions, which
allows them to set boundaries,manage anxiety and show up more
fully in both their personal andprofessional lives.
Emotional intelligence is not asoft skill.
It's a human skill and, whenpracticed well, it transforms
how we live, lead and connectwith others.
Adam Salgat (20:02):
I love the statement you just made there
that high EI, or emotionalintelligence, is not something
that's just utilized in theworkplace, right Like it's a
human skill.
Misty Janks (20:14):
Oh, absolutely.
Mastering emotionalintelligence and handling
emotional catalyst effectivelyis not just a workplace skill,
it's a life skill.
It shapes how we show up in ourrelationships, how we navigate
stress and how we respond tochallenges with intention
instead of impulse, and how werespond to challenges with
intention instead of impulse,Whether it's at work, at home or
in our communities.
(20:34):
Our ability to understand andmanage emotions influences the
quality of every interactionthat we have.
Adam Salgat (20:41):
So, as we wrap up Misty, let's give our audience
three actionable steps that theycan start applying today.
Misty Janks (20:47):
That's a great way to bring it all together.
Emotional intelligence is notabout something you master
overnight, but there are simplesteps that you can start
practicing right now.
First, identify your emotionalcatalyst.
Know what sets you off and why.
Notice the patterns in youremotional responses and what
they might be trying to tell you.
Often in our brains, we takethis to what might be negative
(21:12):
emotions fear, anxiety but Ialso urge you to look at the
positive emotions, and where areyou finding joy in life?
Number two for you, then, is topause before reacting.
The small moment of awarenesscan change everything.
It gives you the chance tochoose a thoughtful response
instead of a reactive one.
And then number three, that Iwould recommend reframe and
(21:36):
adapt.
Shift your mindset.
Instead of seeing challenges asthreats, try viewing them as
opportunities to grow, connectand communicate more clearly.
Emotional intelligence is askill, and, like any skill, it
gets stronger with practice.
Adam Salgat (21:56):
Small, intentional steps can lead to meaningful
change over time.
I didn't want to interrupt youthere, but I really, really and
you know me well, so you're notsurprised that I'm going to
bring this up.
But I love that you brought upthe idea of identifying your
emotional catalyst and that itdoesn't need to just be the ones
that maybe cause fear oranxiety or discomfort.
It's the ones that can alsobring about joy and happiness,
and recognizing that those arealso a great piece to try to
(22:19):
bring into your lifeconsistently.
Misty Janks (22:21):
Yes, it can bring more energy and fulfillment if
you focus on those positives andhow to bring more of them into
your life.
Adam Salgat (22:27):
Thank you for that reminder.
So if someone is looking forhelp identifying their emotional
catalyst, how can ourorganization help?
Misty Janks (22:34):
Yes, the Chapman Foundation helps people build
self-awareness throughintentional reflection,
practical tools and emotionallyintelligent communication
training.
In all of our foundationalprograms, participants learn how
to recognize emotions, namewhat they or the other person is
feeling and explore the deeperneeds behind recognize emotions,
name what they or the otherperson is feeling and explore
the deeper needs behind thoseemotions.
(22:55):
Once you can identify whatactivates the emotions, you are
better equipped to respond in away that builds trust,
connection and personal clarity.
Adam Salgat (23:03):
Thank you, Misty, for being here and thank you for
stepping us through this.
Misty Janks (23:08):
Thank you so much for having me on.
Adam Salgat (23:09):
Emotional intelligence isn't just
something we use at work.
It is something that we carryinto every interaction, every
decision, every relationship Forour listeners.
If you want to learn more orexplore how to bring emotional
intelligence to yourorganization, visit
chapmancommunitiesorg.
And don't forget to subscribeto Beyond the Class for more
episodes just like this one.
(23:29):
And don't forget to subscribeto Beyond the Class for more
episodes just like this one.
Until next time, we're invitingyou to walk your path with
intention, because you are themessage.
Take care, my friends.
Thank you.
Mastering emotional intelligence and handling
emotional catalysts effectivelyis not just a workplace skill,
it's a life skill.
Adam Salgat (00:10):
Welcome to Beyond the Class From Knowledge to
Action, the audio cast thathelps Chapman Foundation alumni
continue the journey of applyingthe skills they have built and
turning them into practical,intentional actions for everyday
life them into practical,intentional actions for everyday
life.
I'm Adam Salga, and today we'rediving into a topic that
touches every part of our livesat work, at home and within
(00:31):
ourselves emotional intelligence.
Now, I know that's a phrasethat gets tossed around a lot,
but emotional intelligence, orEI, isn't just a trendy
leadership term, it's a lifeskill.
Isn't just a trendy leadershipterm, it's a life skill.
It's about how we understandour emotions, how we respond to
them and how we connect withothers in meaningful,
(00:51):
constructive ways.
And at the heart of today'sconversation is something we
refer to as emotional catalysts,those moments that spark an
emotional reaction.
Maybe it's a comment in ameeting, a sudden change in
plans or even a memory thatresurfaces unexpectedly.
These catalysts can eitherderail us or, if we handle them
(01:14):
well, they can become powerfultools for awareness and growth.
To help us unpack all of this,I'm joined once again with Misty
Jenks, ceo of the ChapmanFoundation.
Misty is a thought leader andorganizational psychologist
who's passionate aboutunleashing the power and
potential of individuals andorganizations.
Misty welcome back.
Misty Janks (01:35):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm excited for thisconversation and grateful for
the opportunity to explore suchan important topic.
Adam Salgat (01:42):
All right Misty, so let's start with the big
picture.
You wrote a blog about thistopic and in there you lay out
why emotional intelligence is soessential, not just for leaders
, but for anyone who wants tothrive in relationships and
decision making.
Can you walk us through andcontinue to explain what
emotional intelligence is andbegin laying the groundwork
(02:04):
about why it matters?
Misty Janks (02:06):
Absolutely, adam.
Emotional intelligence is theability to recognize, understand
and manage our emotions, and torecognize, understand and
influence the emotions of others.
Daniel Goldman breaks it downinto five key components.
The first component isself-awareness, which is the
ability to recognize your ownemotions and their impact.
Adam Salgat (02:28):
All right, so I'm going to interrupt you and I
know you just started in onthese five key factors.
But I want to ask you aboutthis, because when I hear that,
I immediately start thinkingabout our community listens and
the extended disc assessment.
How does the listens class andevaluation begin to lay the
groundwork for self-awareness?
Misty Janks (02:49):
Yes, that connection makes a lot of sense.
Our community listens and theextended DISC assessment are
powerful entry points intoself-awareness.
This class creates a spacewhere people can pause, reflect
and begin to understand howtheir communication style
impacts others.
Disc in particular offerslanguage and structure for
recognizing our naturaltendencies.
(03:10):
That awareness is the firststep towards emotional
intelligence.
Once you understand yourselfmore clearly, you can begin to
manage your responses moreintentionally and build stronger
, more empathetic relationships.
Adam Salgat (03:23):
That sounds exactly like what I hear a lot of
people say when they leave theOur Community Lessons class, and
I'm sure you've heard that too.
Misty Janks (03:29):
Absolutely every class.
Adam Salgat (03:32):
So thanks for doing that and, listeners, I want to
give a quick advertisement forour virtual meetings, our
monthly roundtables, where wediscuss different skills related
to the lessons class, and alsoour app, cfcc Leads, where you
can look through continuouslearning options and interactive
tools to help stay sharp.
All right, so let's get back toDaniel Goleman's five key
(03:54):
components of emotionalintelligence.
The first one we just discussedwas self-awareness.
Please continue to number two.
Misty Janks (04:01):
Yes, number two is self-regulation, which is
managing your emotions in aconstructive way.
Number three is motivation,which is using emotions to fuel
achievement rather than hinderit.
Number four is empathy, whichis understanding and responding
to the emotions of others.
And finally, number five ishaving social skills, which is
(04:21):
the ability to build strongrelationships and manage
interpersonal dynamics.
You mentioned number three inthere, which is the ability to
build strong relationships andmanage interpersonal dynamics.
Adam Salgat (04:27):
You mentioned number three in there, which was
motivation.
I feel like that is somethingthat often gets brought up in
sports, that you know lookingfor like an emotion that just
happened on the diamond on thefield that really can drive
motivation towards improvementinstead of looking at it like a
defeat right.
Misty Janks (04:46):
That's the perfect example.
It's understanding.
Okay, we just had thisexperience.
Maybe I'm from that experience.
I'm frustrated.
So what are you going toactually do with that emotion?
Are you going to let it propelyou forward or are you just
going to get in your head andlet it bring you down?
Adam Salgat (05:04):
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, that's a motivatingfactor, and I know there's a
famous story of Michael Jordancreating stories sometimes and
creating things to drive hismotivation.
Go ahead and continue aboutthese skills.
Misty Janks (05:16):
Perfect.
Yes, these are not just softskills.
They are foundational to how welead, how we collaborate and
how we show up in the world.
High EI helps us navigateconflict, build trust and make
decisions that are boththoughtful and caring.
And here is the thing Evenpeople with strong EI still have
emotions.
(05:37):
That is where emotionalcatalysts come in.
Adam Salgat (05:40):
Okay, so we're definitely going to get into
more detail on emotionalcatalysts, but I do want to take
like a quick sidebar and askyou a question, because this
isn't the first time that you orour chief program officer,
katie Trotter, has brought upthe name Daniel Goldman.
So for me and our listeners,can you tell us a little bit
more about him and about hisresearch too?
Misty Janks (06:02):
Sure.
Daniel Goldman is apsychologist and author best
known for popularizing theconcept of emotional
intelligence.
His groundbreaking bookEmotional Intelligence showed us
that skills like self-awareness, empathy and building strong
relationships matter just asmuch, if not more, than IQ when
it comes to leadership andsuccess in life.
(06:24):
His work is widely used becauseit connects neuroscience,
psychology and practicalleadership in a way that is both
research-based and highlyapplicable.
Adam Salgat (06:34):
Thank you for doing that.
Yeah, like I said, I heard hisname.
I've seen a little bit, but itsounds like that might be a good
summer read.
Misty Janks (06:41):
It is, I love it.
Adam Salgat (06:43):
Yeah, I know you're well, you're a psychology nerd.
Is it fair for me to call youthat Perfect?
So let's start with yourfoundational idea from the blog.
Emotions themselves aren't aproblem.
It's how we respond to themthat matter.
That perspective can reallyshift things, and you describe
emotions as messengers.
Can you unpack what that meansand how we can learn to listen
(07:06):
to them more effectively?
Misty Janks (07:09):
Yes, Emotions are signals.
They are not random orinconvenient.
They're actually trying to tellus something, so we just need
to slow down enough to be payingattention to that message.
For example, frustration mightbe pointing to a need for
clarity or control.
Anxiety might signaluncertainty or a need for safety
.
Even disengagement can be asign that we are craving meaning
(07:32):
and connection.
Instead of ignoring or reactingimpulsively to emotions, we can
pause and ask ourselves what isthis emotion trying to tell me?
What underlying need is notbeing met?
And then how can I productivelyaddress that need?
For example, if a leader feelsfrustrated when their ideas are
ignored in a meeting, the deeperneed might be wanting to feel
(07:55):
valued and heard.
Instead of reacting defensively, they can acknowledge the need
and find a constructive way toexpress it, such as seeking
feedback or adjustingcommunication strategies.
When we ignore or suppressthese emotions, we miss the
message.
But when we pause and ask whatis this emotion trying to tell
me, we can gain insight.
That insight helps us respondintentionally.
Adam Salgat (08:19):
So why is that important?
Why should we respond withintention, and what can happen
if we don't?
Misty Janks (08:26):
That's a great question, and it's because when
we do not respond with intention, we often default to just a
reaction, and reactions areusually driven by impulse, not
clarity.
That can lead tomisunderstandings, broken trust
or decisions we later regret.
But when we pause to respondintentionally, we create space
(08:46):
for better choices, strongerrelationships and more effective
leadership.
It's not about suppressingemotions.
It's about understanding themso we can channel it in a way
that aligns with our values andgoals.
Responding with intention iswhere emotional intelligence
becomes visible and impactful.
Adam Salgat (09:06):
All right, let's step into those emotional
catalysts, as you mentioned.
I'm sure many of us have heardthat term and I guarantee we
felt them, even if we didn'thave a name for it.
So what are they and why dothey matter so much?
Misty Janks (09:20):
Emotional catalysts are specific events that
provoke an emotional response.
It can be something very simpleor it can be tied to a past
experience, a personal value ora belief.
They can be positive, like joyor gratitude, or negative, like
frustration and sadness.
For example, if someone valuesstability and their team
suddenly changes direction, thatcan be a catalyst for anxiety.
(09:43):
Or if someone fears failure,even constructive feedback can
feel threatening.
Emotional catalysts can besituational, like an unexpected
email from a supervisor, orinternal, like a memory or a
thought that resurfaces in adifficult moment.
Understanding what causes ouremotions is the first step to
managing them effectively.
Adam Salgat (10:05):
So, once we recognize a catalyst, what do we
do with it?
How do we handle it in ahealthy, productive way?
Misty Janks (10:13):
I recommend these three key strategies.
First one is to increaseself-awareness by working to
identify your catalyst.
So it's important to know thatbefore you can manage your
emotional catalyst, you need toknow what they are.
There's a couple ways that youcan go about this.
First, you can reflect on pastsituations that caused emotional
(10:33):
responses and really thinkabout what is that situation or
what is that memory about.
Number two, you can start tonotice patterns in your
reactions as you go about yourday or three, you can try to
keep a journal of emotionalresponses to recognize recurring
catalysts and better understandyour emotional landscape.
Adam Salgat (10:54):
Those are great tips.
I know you mentioned there'sthree key strategies.
Why don't you step into numbertwo?
Misty Janks (10:59):
Yes.
Number two is to regulatebefore reacting by using the
pause method.
When emotions are recognized,pause before responding.
This interrupts the automaticreaction and gives your brain
time to shift from an emotionalresponse to a thoughtful one.
You can do this by taking adeep breath.
This engages yourparasympathetic nervous system,
(11:21):
helping you to stay calm.
You could ask yourself what isreally happening here.
Why am I having this emotion?
Or you can delay respondinguntil you can do so with clarity
.
This might mean stepping awayfor a moment.
Adam Salgat (11:35):
I was recently talking to a friend who was
talking about certain thingsgoing on with their work life,
and one of the things Imentioned to them is it sounds
like you're reacting prettyquickly and I wasn't trying to
give advice, but I could justtell that they knew it too.
So I reflected that back tothem and one of the things I
mentioned was that deep breath.
I know it seems like such asimple thing and it's a hard
(11:57):
thing to do, though in themoment.
Misty Janks (11:59):
Yes, absolutely, and I think we've all had that
email come in.
That kind of could maybe botherus, and so we want to give it
24 hours before we respond.
Adam Salgat (12:08):
Yes, absolutely so.
Let's move on to tip numberthree, and we're going to come
back to that email statementthat you just made too.
Misty Janks (12:15):
Okay.
Strategy number three is toreframe the catalyst by trying
to shift your perspective.
Once you recognize an emotionalcatalyst, you can reframe it in
a way that leads to growth.
First, you can replaceassumptions with curiosity
Instead of assuming negativeintent, ask questions to clarify
.
Second, you can focus on whatyou can control.
(12:38):
You cannot always controlsituations, but you can control
your reactions and finally turnchallenges into learning
opportunities.
Emotional catalysts can besignals for personal growth.
Adam Salgat (13:03):
Keep that perspective, especially during
the challenging time, can makethe event easier for us.
In reading it, it's triggeringsomething right Like what is it
exactly that is triggering?
It may take me a little bit tofigure it out, but there's
definitely an emotion going on.
Misty Janks (13:19):
Yeah, I think we all have those examples.
I did it this morning.
You can just feel like, uh-oh,something's bubbling up here for
me.
Can you take time to reallypause and dig into it as key?
Adam Salgat (13:31):
In the email that I'm thinking about, I think like
what was your first strategyagain?
Misty Janks (13:41):
Yes, that first strategy is to increase
self-awareness by working toidentify your catalyst?
Adam Salgat (13:43):
Yeah, so if I'm thinking about that email and
the emotion that was going on, Ithink the catalyst there is the
fact that it was requestingchange for a project, that I
felt like I was going down onepath and it was requesting a
change.
That not not that I disagreedwith the change, but it was just
something I had been working onfor maybe a few weeks, and so
(14:05):
it was just that initialreaction of like, okay, not what
I've been working exactlytowards, this might be a better
change, but it's still taking mea moment to accept it, breathe
it in, I guess, like just kindof move into that.
And I know one of my catalystsis change, that at times I can
(14:27):
be slow to change, so I knowthat's probably where that
emotion was stemming from.
Misty Janks (14:34):
Well, it's great that you're nailing this first
strategy, so let's talk aboutthe second one.
Then, to regulate beforereacting by using the pause
method.
Did you find yourself naturallydoing that?
Adam Salgat (14:44):
Yeah, I think initially I did, and then I felt
like it'd probably be better ifwe just talked about it in
person and since I knew I hadopportunity to speak to a person
coming up, I just I sent anemail saying, hey, can we talk
about this?
And set it up, so that way Iknew I could take a little time
also to analyze and, like acceptand then also take the time to
(15:07):
put my thoughts on paper, whichtechnically doesn't exist,
barely exists in our world.
But everybody knows what I mean.
Right, like you, take the timeto collect yourself, and so that
was very helpful to take thatspace to regulate before I
reacted.
Misty Janks (15:24):
All right, perfect.
Then let's look at this thirdstrategy, and it is to reframe
the catalyst by trying to shiftyour perspective.
Did you find that you werenaturally doing that?
Adam Salgat (15:37):
I think to some level, but I don't know how much
it was needed in this case,meaning I knew that, like for
example you mentioned in there,instead of assuming negative
intent like the email I knew wascoming from someone who that
was definitely not theirintention and never is their
intention so I knew, like thatwas something I could, I just
(15:58):
breezed by I guess you know whatI mean Like I I'm in a space
where I can fully accept that.
So that's definitely an elementand then, uh, an element that
was easy to do, I should say so,reframing it in the idea of
looking at it from theirperspective.
I think what it maybe caused meto do is in that time of
(16:19):
putting my thoughts on paper hasallowed me to maybe explain
where I'm coming from, so we canwork on this project now
together with all the same baseinformation.
Misty Janks (16:29):
Well, it sounds like you're really knocking
these out of the park, Adam.
Adam Salgat (16:34):
Trying to.
I mean, life is not easy.
We're going to make mistakes inall of these spaces for sure.
So when I think about it, I'mlike what I've really tried to
do is use that catalyst as ateaching moment right for myself
, like take an opportunity andbuild off of it so I can
continue to practice theseskills.
Whether it's an email, it'salways tougher when somebody
(16:56):
maybe says something in personand you have that initial
reaction.
But it's also a greatopportunity to think okay,
what's happening right now, takea breath, relax and see if you
can come back to it.
But I think sometimes in workenvironments, those emotions
like I just talked about, likeit's not the idea of suppressing
them, right, but sometimes inwork environments emotions are
(17:18):
not really invited and they, youknow, might even be asked to be
suppressed.
Have you heard or seen thatbefore?
Misty Janks (17:25):
Yeah, I have, and it's discouraging and
unsustainable.
I believe that that is the wayof the past.
Remember, emotionalintelligence is not about
suppressing emotions.
It's about understanding them,regulating them and using them
effectively.
It is the foundation for strongleadership, healthy
relationships and personalwell-being.
Adam Salgat (17:46):
So there might be a case where we are in a moment,
interaction, person to personinteraction where we're finding
the best choice is to, at thatmoment, suppress the emotion but
not to forget about it, meaning, don't suppress it to the point
where you're not addressing it,but suppress it so you can take
(18:07):
your time with it.
Is that what I'm hearing?
Misty Janks (18:09):
I guess it depends on the relationship, because I
know self-disclosure can be abeautiful gift to you and the
person that you're having thatconversation with.
A lot of times I'll say youknow what I'm noticing, that I'm
having a reaction to this, andit's just very real and
authentic and it gives space tohelp us both understand why is
(18:30):
it happening for me.
And so it could be aninvitation then if you were on
the other side of thatconversation where I could
explore my values or a pastexperience, right, and so it
could actually build a betterrelationship for both of us
because we'd have thatunderstanding about me going
forward in the future.
Adam Salgat (18:47):
I really love that reminder about that.
There might be a time when itmight be best to come back to it
, but also, doing it in thatmoment can be healthy too.
Yeah, so continue on.
If you don't mind, tell me alittle bit about what it means
to be a leader with high EI.
Misty Janks (19:01):
Leaders with high EI create cultures of trust,
adaptability and psychologicalsafety.
They can listen deeply, respondwith empathy and guide their
teams through change withsteadiness and clarity.
Their presence encouragesopenness and reduces fear, which
allows people to contributemore fully.
Team members with high EInavigate workplace challenges
(19:22):
with resilience andcollaboration.
They're more likely to manageconflict constructively, give
and receive feedback with graceand stay focused under pressure.
This leads to healthierdynamics and better outcomes
across the team.
Looking through the individuallens, individuals with high EI
experience less stress, betterrelationships and greater
(19:42):
overall well-being.
They are more attuned to theirown needs and emotions, which
allows them to set boundaries,manage anxiety and show up more
fully in both their personal andprofessional lives.
Emotional intelligence is not asoft skill.
It's a human skill and, whenpracticed well, it transforms
how we live, lead and connectwith others.
Adam Salgat (20:02):
I love the statement you just made there
that high EI, or emotionalintelligence, is not something
that's just utilized in theworkplace, right Like it's a
human skill.
Misty Janks (20:14):
Oh, absolutely.
Mastering emotionalintelligence and handling
emotional catalyst effectivelyis not just a workplace skill,
it's a life skill.
It shapes how we show up in ourrelationships, how we navigate
stress and how we respond tochallenges with intention
instead of impulse, and how werespond to challenges with
intention instead of impulse,Whether it's at work, at home or
in our communities.
(20:34):
Our ability to understand andmanage emotions influences the
quality of every interactionthat we have.
Adam Salgat (20:41):
So, as we wrap up Misty, let's give our audience
three actionable steps that theycan start applying today.
Misty Janks (20:47):
That's a great way to bring it all together.
Emotional intelligence is notabout something you master
overnight, but there are simplesteps that you can start
practicing right now.
First, identify your emotionalcatalyst.
Know what sets you off and why.
Notice the patterns in youremotional responses and what
they might be trying to tell you.
Often in our brains, we takethis to what might be negative
(21:12):
emotions fear, anxiety but Ialso urge you to look at the
positive emotions, and where areyou finding joy in life?
Number two for you, then, is topause before reacting.
The small moment of awarenesscan change everything.
It gives you the chance tochoose a thoughtful response
instead of a reactive one.
And then number three, that Iwould recommend reframe and
(21:36):
adapt.
Shift your mindset.
Instead of seeing challenges asthreats, try viewing them as
opportunities to grow, connectand communicate more clearly.
Emotional intelligence is askill, and, like any skill, it
gets stronger with practice.
Adam Salgat (21:56):
Small, intentional steps can lead to meaningful
change over time.
I didn't want to interrupt youthere, but I really, really and
you know me well, so you're notsurprised that I'm going to
bring this up.
But I love that you brought upthe idea of identifying your
emotional catalyst and that itdoesn't need to just be the ones
that maybe cause fear oranxiety or discomfort.
It's the ones that can alsobring about joy and happiness,
and recognizing that those arealso a great piece to try to
(22:19):
bring into your lifeconsistently.
Misty Janks (22:21):
Yes, it can bring more energy and fulfillment if
you focus on those positives andhow to bring more of them into
your life.
Adam Salgat (22:27):
Thank you for that reminder.
So if someone is looking forhelp identifying their emotional
catalyst, how can ourorganization help?
Misty Janks (22:34):
Yes, the Chapman Foundation helps people build
self-awareness throughintentional reflection,
practical tools and emotionallyintelligent communication
training.
In all of our foundationalprograms, participants learn how
to recognize emotions, namewhat they or the other person is
feeling and explore the deeperneeds behind recognize emotions,
name what they or the otherperson is feeling and explore
the deeper needs behind thoseemotions.
(22:55):
Once you can identify whatactivates the emotions, you are
better equipped to respond in away that builds trust,
connection and personal clarity.
Adam Salgat (23:03):
Thank you, Misty, for being here and thank you for
stepping us through this.
Misty Janks (23:08):
Thank you so much for having me on.
Adam Salgat (23:09):
Emotional intelligence isn't just
something we use at work.
It is something that we carryinto every interaction, every
decision, every relationship Forour listeners.
If you want to learn more orexplore how to bring emotional
intelligence to yourorganization, visit
chapmancommunitiesorg.
And don't forget to subscribeto Beyond the Class for more
episodes just like this one.
(23:29):
And don't forget to subscribeto Beyond the Class for more
episodes just like this one.
Until next time, we're invitingyou to walk your path with
intention, because you are themessage.
Take care, my friends.
Thank you.
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