Micah Fialka- Feldman and Katherine Sanderson are interviewed together in this episode. Katherine is a critical member of Micah's support staff. This is the last of three episodes. Micah and Katherine talk about his strong Circle of Support, goals for the future, technology that helps Micah, social media, advice, sweet and funny stories, and more.
Micah is best known as one of the stars of the acclaimed film, "Intelligent Lives". He is a teaching assistant at Syracuse University, a sought after keynote speaker, and respected disability rights advocate. Micah has an intellectual disability. Katherine has experience in the disability and medical fields, and strongly believes in "working with" young adults instead of "for" them. Katherine does not have a disability.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Greta Harrison (00:00):
Hello, my name is Greta Harrison. Welcome to
born fabulous podcast seasonthree, Episode 16. The theme of
this season is young adults withintellectual disabilities living
full lives of independence andinterdependence. You will hear
interviews with parents supportstaff, and of course the young
(00:21):
adults with intellectualdisabilities. Please note these
interviews were done one to twoyears ago. achieving
independence is a complexjourney for many individuals and
families. There were many stopsand starts with various entities
when putting together seasonthree. Regardless, this content
is very relevant, and we hopeyou will find it helpful. This
(00:43):
is the last of three episodesthat feature microfi Alka
Feldman and Catherine Sanderson.
Catherine is one of mica supportstaff, a critical member of his
team. Mike is well known as oneof the stars of the acclaimed
film intelligent lives. He is ateaching assistant at Syracuse
University, and a sought afterkeynote speaker, Mike, his book
opening doors is scheduled to bereleased in the summer of 2024.
(01:07):
Micah has an intellectualdisability. Now, please enjoy
this short clip of the ring. Thelyrics are by Melissa regio, a
young lady who had Downsyndrome, and what's the focus
of episodes one through four andSeason One, the music and voice
are by Rachel fuller.
(01:58):
Now let's talk about that circleof support. Let's talk about you
know, how it's working. Now, youknow, you had it when you were
in elementary school, you've hadit all throughout high school
and college and and now in thisstage in your life, how does
your circle of support work?
Like? How often do you meet thattype of thing?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (02:19):
Yeah, um, how it works is I have a meeting
once every other month. Rightnow they're on Zoom, I'm hoping
to have a face to face meetingsometime in the future. And then
and say, they're in Germany, itis good, because people can join
on Zoom like friends from othercities and states and building
(02:42):
one hour and, and they come upwith great ideas. And, and I
come up with an agenda andthey're, they're this great
meetings and, and great likethings about, like things had to
help me. Thank
Greta Harrison (03:03):
you for that input. I love that your that you
just mentioned there, you keepit to an hour. So you want to
make sure that you're usingeverybody's time is valuable,
and you're using it to the bestof everyone's ability. And I
love that you said that you comeup with the agenda. Do you is is
do you have any support staffand those circle meetings?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (03:26):
Yeah, yeah, they, they do come to the
meetings, and then my broker andI, she helps me facilitate the
meetings, but the staff to cometo the meeting. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (03:37):
Okay. All right.
How about your family, because Iknow your family is kind of
like, they're always there foryou. But they're also hands off
because they want to encourageyour independence. So how how's
your family involved in yourservice,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (03:52):
my after last weekend, my sister and my
sister and her fiance came andmy parents came, it was nice
that they do come and and theydo like, share their thoughts
and ideas and, and, and myparents have come to lapse in
(04:12):
means my sister. She's aprincipal and she's super busy.
But her her and her fiance camegood and she shared some great,
great, great like thoughts too.
Greta Harrison (04:25):
And while I like that you said your parents come
to a lot of meetings and yoursister and her fiance were
there, but they're not at everymeeting, are they? No, no. Okay.
So that's that's what I meantabout the letting go. I mean,
they're they obviously love youso much, but they also are
letting you go a bit. So thecircle support is important to
(04:46):
you. So if you have youmentioned you know, COVID your
roommate situation when thesethings pop up. You reach out to
your circle, right? I
Micah Fialka-Feldman (04:56):
do. Yeah.
I like sometimes like with theMy situation I did, but I
haven't really told them thewhole story. That guy, I kept it
with my staff and broken parenttree. It like really happened
right? The week after the lastmeeting I, I really haven't sent
any big updates, like maybe latelike, I haven't really like the
(05:20):
guy texted me or vibe and sendout like any mass email to
anyone.
Katherine Sanderson (05:28):
You haven't been ready to meet their support
yet, right? Yeah, your circle isfull of people who cares about
you, and also have really goodresources that you can tap into
for various things in your life,and you just haven't kind of
gotten to the point where you'reready for their input. So you
haven't needed to call on themyet? Yes. You're that sort of
(05:50):
Inner Inner bubble of supportbefore you've gone out to your
circle. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (05:55):
And well, and that leads me to my other
question. And I, I know theanswer to this, but I'm just
asking, so everybody else canhear. Your circle is made up
with people who obviously havedifferent areas of expertise and
different kinds of relationshipswith you. So if you have a
(06:16):
question, a personal questionthat has to do with maybe
dating, there's certain peopleyou would reach out to? If you
have a question that deals withyour health, there might be
others who reach out to you ifyou have a question that deals
with maybe making a change inyour living situation, there's
others that you would reach outto correct. I mean, they all
have their own.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (06:37):
Yeah, they, they, if I like came for a
doctor's appointment, I would goto my staff first because they I
see them more than some of thestaff and then I would send
updates to everyone if I wantyour and then but I sometimes I
(06:58):
feel like certain updates, butsometimes I got my staff and my
parents or my broker and then Igo to my circle.
Katherine Sanderson (07:08):
You will call upon your circle sometimes
if there's an appointment that astaff isn't able to Yeah, to.
Yeah. Also, when there'sspecific health questions that
you're wanting to put on, you'llreach out to people in your
recent experience with kidneystones. Yeah, you were wanting
to know. And then there were acouple people in your circle
(07:30):
that had specific experience tobe able to share with you and be
checking in with you. And yeah,so I think there's always you
do, you do have a good innerinner layer of support. But I
think that you really skillfullyand smartly, use your circle.
When when you need them. Andyeah, and people are happy to
(07:52):
help you in that way. And peopleare sometimes they say no, I'm
not available right now. Thatisn't an area of expertise for
me, and, you know, point you inanother direction. And yeah,
Greta Harrison (08:02):
that's good. And I wanted to have this
conversation. So peopleunderstood that it's a fluid
circle. It's not just you meetevery other month. You have
relationships with the peoplewho are in this circle. Yes. And
that's what helps you be sostrong. And that's what helps
you with your voice. They helpyou get your voice out, right.
Yeah.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (08:22):
Like they go. Yeah, so like, like, I don't
like share, like my, like, Idon't share like my personal
budget with them or like, I likecertain things with like, my
whole circle.
Katherine Sanderson (08:37):
Yeah, more really private things there.
Because you you're not lookingat them as as your your best
friends or your you know,intimate partners. You're
looking at them as as astructure of support and
friendship. Yeah. So you knowthat you don't need to share
every every personal detail withall of your circles. Yeah. And
(09:00):
that you you can utilize theirsupport for for the bigger
thing. Yeah. And broader
Unknown (09:06):
things. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (09:08):
Well, what are some of your goals for the
future Micah?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (09:12):
I think right now trying to find a new
roommate keep living inSyracuse, New York. Maybe
finding a girlfriend when I whenI like when I when the right is
the right time and this justbeing healthy and just doing the
(09:39):
things I'm doing to keephealthy.
Greta Harrison (09:42):
Okay. All very good goals. All very good goals.
Now, are there any little thingsthey might seem like everyday
things to you, but any thingsthat help you be independent,
like for instance, something onyour wrist Yeah,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:00):
I I like to have an Apple watch that i i
can wear during the day andnight and I it helps me track
when I'm running when I'msleeping and, and it helps me
know about my calories and it'sjust a great, it's a great
watch.
Greta Harrison (10:19):
How long have you been using that?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:21):
Since since my birthday when I turned
30
Greta Harrison (10:27):
Okay. Do you use one of those smart devices that
has a name? I can't say itbecause mine will turn on in my
house, but
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:36):
no, I did.
And then I just got weird aboutit now. Like I have it in my
bedroom, but I took a break fromit. It was just weird.
Greta Harrison (10:45):
Okay, so you don't really depend on that. Is
there? Is there anything elsethat helps you? Um,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:52):
yeah, I have Siri on my, my, um, my
phone and Apple Watch. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (10:59):
So you talk to Siri? I do. Okay,
Katherine Sanderson (11:03):
theory does dictation for you. Right? Like
Siri? Yeah. Well be a scribe foryou.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (11:10):
Yeah, yeah, she he does a good job.
Sometimes he doesn't put theright words in my messages. But
okay,
Greta Harrison (11:18):
so you're using Siri to talk and make messages.
That's, that's a good tip. Isthere anything else that you
think of that in your everydaylife helps you be independent?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (11:29):
I'm learning now. Like, I'm like, am
I calm down? Like I've learnedhow to wash my hair because I
have it in my calendar now. AndI wash my hair and put things in
my calendar to knowing when towash my hair. And when the cream
on my face? And
Katherine Sanderson (11:45):
yeah, not that you didn't know how to do
things, but more that you didn'thave a sense of what was
expected in terms of frequency.
Yeah. And again, not that youweren't even doing them? Yeah,
maybe you were doing things toomuch, or maybe not enough. And
so you found you asked forprompts to be put in your
calendar. So then you see thatthis is, this is a good day to
(12:05):
change my sheets every week, orthis is the day that I'm
supposed to wash my hair. Andyeah, I don't have to wash my
hair every day. But I shouldshower. It's just, you know,
just getting a better sense. Andusing your calendar in your
phone to be those reminders. AndI think you're also getting
more, you're you're making morerequests and ways to help you be
more independent with yourskills, right? You've talked
(12:29):
recently about making some somestoryboards, or picture stories,
with with steps for certaincleaning tasks or things like
that. So getting a little bitmore creative with with some of
those those tools is somethingthat you're interested in doing
at this point. Yeah. Okay,
Greta Harrison (12:50):
so mica, you are such a wonderful positive
example of using social mediafor good, you've built such a
strong social media circle ofsupport around you. Can you
share your thoughts about socialmedia? Maybe some tips and
suggestions because you've donea great job?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (13:09):
Yeah, I, it's good to like, post things
on Facebook, when I when I likeposting on Facebook about like,
update, so sharing my feelingsor thoughts about my thoughts of
how day is going, or how myevening and how things are
going. And, and people like tohave really like, following me
(13:33):
and reading everything I postand, and, and I'm yeah, you
share links to right. Yeah, andI Yeah, and I and I share links
from other friends and otherpeople and, and I'm trying to
like learn how to how to takebreaks from social media to have
(13:54):
like very temporary to go to bedand I'm trying to learn that one
of my one of my goes to takingbreaks from from like my phone
and and other things.
Greta Harrison (14:07):
Well, that is important. You can't do it 24
hours a day. And I and I want tothrow out there that for me as
an observer. What I like aboutyour social media presence is
you have built a good number offriends on Facebook but it's all
(14:27):
from a relationship standpointyou're not out there post you
know posting a picture ofyourself every single day you're
not out there just trying to getyou know X number of followers
to have followers. Your yourfriends are there because of
relationships. That's whatyou're trying to build. Right?
Yeah. And and I love that everytime you post something good or
(14:51):
maybe something that's not sogood. This the the genuine love
and caring of people comes outand I think it's wonderful. It I
love what you just said abouttaking a break from social
media. And that's veryimportant. So I'm glad that you
know that you can't live onthere 24 hours a day. And you
(15:11):
can only take certain thingsseriously, right? You can't
leave everything you see. Andyou can't take everything you
see seriously, right? Yeah. Allright. So let's, let's add one
more tidbit that just came up inour organic discussion here
about things that help you whenyou're independent. And you just
(15:32):
mentioned something that helpsyou around the house that you
just got what is that? Let'stake
Micah Fialka-Feldman (15:39):
it take it take a walk back that will clean
the whole house.
Katherine Sanderson (15:46):
be wonderful. The floors though,
right? Yeah. Yeah, you've gotthese beautiful hardwood floors
all through your house. And it'sa lot to sweep every day. Yeah.
Yeah. The robo vacuum is gonnado that work for you.
Greta Harrison (16:03):
And you like that? So you'd like the robo
vacuum? Yeah,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (16:07):
I'm gonna try it out later on today, but
yeah.
Katherine Sanderson (16:12):
Brand new tool. Yeah. Brand
Greta Harrison (16:14):
new toy, too, right. Oh, yeah. The tool and a
toy? I'm sure. Right. Yeah.
Okay, so do you have any advicefor people with intellectual
disabilities who want to beindependent, when they are in
their 20s? Because you wereindependent in your 20s? Or was
Yeah, so think about that? WhatWhat advice do you have for the
(16:36):
people behind you who want to beindependent advice for the young
adults, but also their familiesfor both?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (16:46):
I think making sure they have good
circles and good parents andgood people that help them and
surround them and asking them ifthey want to move right at their
parents house, or if they wantto move to a nice data city, or
make sure that they have a goodjob and good people to to like
(17:10):
to like to, like help them.
Katherine Sanderson (17:15):
And you think to about people that don't
necessarily have parents thatare really capable of, of
supporting people to move out ontheir own? Yeah. You said to me
earlier, just encouraging peopleto really use their voice and to
know, to know that more ispossible and to really advocate
(17:37):
and find people around them tohelp them advocate for what is
gonna work best in their lives.
Right. Yeah.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (17:44):
Yeah. And, and like, and like know, that,
like people with disabilities,it's hard to sometimes have a
district that there's like, lotsof paperwork, and lots of things
that you have to do as a personwith a disability and, and
website. And just like makingsure that you have a voice when
(18:08):
when, like you go to like, whenyou go to a doctor's appointment
and stuff.
Greta Harrison (18:13):
Very important.
Very important. Thank you forthat feedback. Micah. That's,
that's excellent. Catherine, canyou share with us a sweet story
that you have either workingwith mica or of mica?
Katherine Sanderson (18:28):
Yeah, I guess I am thinking about last
summer, when we were able to goto the Syracuse community choir
concert together. That's theCommunity Choir is a long
standing local organizationthat's actually kind of based
right here in this neighborhoodand mica, you've sung with them
a little bit in the past. Yeah.
And I actually sang with themwhen I was a little girl long
(18:52):
time ago. And haven't been to aconcert and a long time ago, of
course, they haven't had inperson concerts for a while. But
this was an outdoor one lastsummer. And anyway, Mike a put
that on my radar and really keptreminding me about about it. And
then that meant that we wereable to go together and we went
(19:15):
with my little boy who's fourand my mom who mica knows as
well and and then just theamount of people in the audience
that knew you and that you knewand how wonderful it was to see
you reconnecting with peoplethat you hadn't seen in quite
some time. That was reallysweet. And the music was
(19:37):
beautiful. And there was Iremember the Ukrainian choir
were too. That was a reallysweet night.
Greta Harrison (19:44):
Ah, I can vision that right now. And also
everybody knows knowing mica Ican I can see that too. Mica Can
you think of a sweet story?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (19:54):
Yeah, I yeah, I I have one. I like this.
Like, just like it was, it's asteroid, but it's like, during,
during, like when I had when Ihad like when I had like got
when I had kidney stones. And Iwas mean asked for going to King
(20:16):
back then it was the firstdoctor when you read this.
Here's making me likeoverwhelmed because he like, he
like was like a very like, helike used words and like, and I
think his language for wasn'tlike first first like first like
(20:37):
first first like first. Firstlike Huizenga was had done just
damn timber. And then we went tohim and it was good. And then a
couple of months later, I guess.
And they will just change adragon. Like, when to have the
procedure. And then Katherinehelped me find like a new king
(21:01):
doctor that was that has beenlike great and, and I was just
very glad that I was able tofind I was able to find that
good new, new like, doctor.
Greta Harrison (21:16):
So you're talking about how ash and
Catherine both helped youthrough that, that time when you
were uncertain of what was goingon. And they helped you speed up
the process and they helped youunderstand the doctor more
right. And deal with the doctorto well, that. Well, Catherine,
I hope that makes you feel goodto know that you're appreciated
(21:37):
like that. I think that's sweet.
Now, are there any funny storiesthat either of you have?
Katherine Sanderson (21:44):
funny stories? I mean, we've
definitely made each other laugha fair amount. Yeah,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (21:48):
we have.
Like she, she like helped mewrite a great note. Right.
Right. We found my roommatemoved out. It was great. Not
that I gave her. And she helpedme. Like a great note that Yeah.
Katherine Sanderson (22:04):
Was that funny, though?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (22:05):
Funny.
That
Greta Harrison (22:07):
was sweet. That was right. That was sweet. Okay.
Okay.
Katherine Sanderson (22:14):
So at some point on Tuesday, I guess Mike,
uh, took the garbage out of thekitchen. And then when I came
back yesterday, I picked you upafter work, right? We met at the
edge of the campus. Yeah, droveback here to spend a few hours
working together. And we openedthe door downstairs. And I said,
(22:35):
Oh, my God, what is that smell?
Like? I said, Oh, God, I don'tknow what is that? And then we
came up the stairs and openedthe door. And oops, there was
the trash bags. And you said,Oh, my bed and we laughed and
open the windows and lit acandle. Right? Yeah, yeah.
Greta Harrison (22:54):
Okay. That's, that is cute. That is funny. I
still remember when I asked youthat question about Tori. And
when I asked you what was sweet,your answer was going running
with her and then getting hotchocolate. And I just I still
have that memory on a cold daygoing running and getting hot
chocolate. And then for beingfunny. I remember her saying
(23:18):
something about getting out ofthe car with you and in you not
understanding about how shemeant to get out of the car or
something. And the way you guysjust talked with each other was
hilarious. So that that wascute. So is there is there
anything that I have not askedyou that you want to let people
(23:38):
know or that you want to talkabout? No,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (23:42):
I can't think of any thing. Okay,
Greta Harrison (23:46):
well, Micah, I hope you know how much I truly,
truly do care about you andadmire you. And I'm so grateful
to call you friend, when whenyou send me a text or an email
or call me on the phone, itmakes my day. And I just want to
thank you for sharing your lifeand your wisdom and your
(24:07):
suggestions for everybody elseso that we can hopefully help
make a more inclusive world andhave more people be independent
like you are and interdependent.
And Catherine Sanderson, I wantto thank you for your time today
to your your input wasinvaluable. And I just love how
you make sure that there'snothing about us without us.
(24:31):
Like you were saying you wantthe person within disability to
definitely be part of theequation. And you want to work
with people, not for people. AndI just love everything about
your vibe. I can definitely seewhy Mike is parents chose you a
year ago and you seem to be agift to each other. So thank you
(24:52):
for sharing your time today. AndI greatly appreciate you. Thank
you.
Katherine Sanderson (24:59):
Thank you Oh,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (25:00):
thank you.
Greta Harrison (25:01):
Thank you. Thank you for listening to Episode 16
of Born Fabulous Podcast's thirdseason. I hope you enjoyed it
and want to hear more shortvideo clips from most episodes
are available on our YouTubechannel and on board fabulous
podcast.com. In Episode 17, youwill meet the parents of James
(25:22):
and Kristen Zol. Both sets ofparents talking together, they
have a wealth of knowledge toshare about their young adults
who've been married for overfive years now. James and
Kristen live a happy independentlife with proper supports in
place. Please follow and like uson Facebook, Instagram and
Twitter. If you enjoyed thisepisode, I'd be honored if you
(25:45):
would leave a review whereveryou heard this podcast. Now,
please enjoy this clip of loveas a potion. The lyrics are by
Melissa regio, who was the focusof season one episodes one
through four. The music andvoice are by Rachel fuller
Hello, my name is Greta Harrison. Welcome to
born fabulous podcast seasonthree, Episode 16. The theme of
this season is young adults withintellectual disabilities living
full lives of independence andinterdependence. You will hear
interviews with parents supportstaff, and of course the young
(00:21):
adults with intellectualdisabilities. Please note these
interviews were done one to twoyears ago. achieving
independence is a complexjourney for many individuals and
families. There were many stopsand starts with various entities
when putting together seasonthree. Regardless, this content
is very relevant, and we hopeyou will find it helpful. This
(00:43):
is the last of three episodesthat feature microfi Alka
Feldman and Catherine Sanderson.
Catherine is one of mica supportstaff, a critical member of his
team. Mike is well known as oneof the stars of the acclaimed
film intelligent lives. He is ateaching assistant at Syracuse
University, and a sought afterkeynote speaker, Mike, his book
opening doors is scheduled to bereleased in the summer of 2024.
(01:07):
Micah has an intellectualdisability. Now, please enjoy
this short clip of the ring. Thelyrics are by Melissa regio, a
young lady who had Downsyndrome, and what's the focus
of episodes one through four andSeason One, the music and voice
are by Rachel fuller.
(01:58):
Now let's talk about that circleof support. Let's talk about you
know, how it's working. Now, youknow, you had it when you were
in elementary school, you've hadit all throughout high school
and college and and now in thisstage in your life, how does
your circle of support work?
Like? How often do you meet thattype of thing?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (02:19):
Yeah, um, how it works is I have a meeting
once every other month. Rightnow they're on Zoom, I'm hoping
to have a face to face meetingsometime in the future. And then
and say, they're in Germany, itis good, because people can join
on Zoom like friends from othercities and states and building
(02:42):
one hour and, and they come upwith great ideas. And, and I
come up with an agenda andthey're, they're this great
meetings and, and great likethings about, like things had to
help me. Thank
Greta Harrison (03:03):
you for that input. I love that your that you
just mentioned there, you keepit to an hour. So you want to
make sure that you're usingeverybody's time is valuable,
and you're using it to the bestof everyone's ability. And I
love that you said that you comeup with the agenda. Do you is is
do you have any support staffand those circle meetings?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (03:26):
Yeah, yeah, they, they do come to the
meetings, and then my broker andI, she helps me facilitate the
meetings, but the staff to cometo the meeting. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (03:37):
Okay. All right.
How about your family, because Iknow your family is kind of
like, they're always there foryou. But they're also hands off
because they want to encourageyour independence. So how how's
your family involved in yourservice,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (03:52):
my after last weekend, my sister and my
sister and her fiance came andmy parents came, it was nice
that they do come and and theydo like, share their thoughts
and ideas and, and, and myparents have come to lapse in
(04:12):
means my sister. She's aprincipal and she's super busy.
But her her and her fiance camegood and she shared some great,
great, great like thoughts too.
Greta Harrison (04:25):
And while I like that you said your parents come
to a lot of meetings and yoursister and her fiance were
there, but they're not at everymeeting, are they? No, no. Okay.
So that's that's what I meantabout the letting go. I mean,
they're they obviously love youso much, but they also are
letting you go a bit. So thecircle support is important to
(04:46):
you. So if you have youmentioned you know, COVID your
roommate situation when thesethings pop up. You reach out to
your circle, right? I
Micah Fialka-Feldman (04:56):
do. Yeah.
I like sometimes like with theMy situation I did, but I
haven't really told them thewhole story. That guy, I kept it
with my staff and broken parenttree. It like really happened
right? The week after the lastmeeting I, I really haven't sent
any big updates, like maybe latelike, I haven't really like the
(05:20):
guy texted me or vibe and sendout like any mass email to
anyone.
Katherine Sanderson (05:28):
You haven't been ready to meet their support
yet, right? Yeah, your circle isfull of people who cares about
you, and also have really goodresources that you can tap into
for various things in your life,and you just haven't kind of
gotten to the point where you'reready for their input. So you
haven't needed to call on themyet? Yes. You're that sort of
(05:50):
Inner Inner bubble of supportbefore you've gone out to your
circle. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (05:55):
And well, and that leads me to my other
question. And I, I know theanswer to this, but I'm just
asking, so everybody else canhear. Your circle is made up
with people who obviously havedifferent areas of expertise and
different kinds of relationshipswith you. So if you have a
(06:16):
question, a personal questionthat has to do with maybe
dating, there's certain peopleyou would reach out to? If you
have a question that deals withyour health, there might be
others who reach out to you ifyou have a question that deals
with maybe making a change inyour living situation, there's
others that you would reach outto correct. I mean, they all
have their own.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (06:37):
Yeah, they, they, if I like came for a
doctor's appointment, I would goto my staff first because they I
see them more than some of thestaff and then I would send
updates to everyone if I wantyour and then but I sometimes I
(06:58):
feel like certain updates, butsometimes I got my staff and my
parents or my broker and then Igo to my circle.
Katherine Sanderson (07:08):
You will call upon your circle sometimes
if there's an appointment that astaff isn't able to Yeah, to.
Yeah. Also, when there'sspecific health questions that
you're wanting to put on, you'llreach out to people in your
recent experience with kidneystones. Yeah, you were wanting
to know. And then there were acouple people in your circle
(07:30):
that had specific experience tobe able to share with you and be
checking in with you. And yeah,so I think there's always you
do, you do have a good innerinner layer of support. But I
think that you really skillfullyand smartly, use your circle.
When when you need them. Andyeah, and people are happy to
(07:52):
help you in that way. And peopleare sometimes they say no, I'm
not available right now. Thatisn't an area of expertise for
me, and, you know, point you inanother direction. And yeah,
Greta Harrison (08:02):
that's good. And I wanted to have this
conversation. So peopleunderstood that it's a fluid
circle. It's not just you meetevery other month. You have
relationships with the peoplewho are in this circle. Yes. And
that's what helps you be sostrong. And that's what helps
you with your voice. They helpyou get your voice out, right.
Yeah.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (08:22):
Like they go. Yeah, so like, like, I don't
like share, like my, like, Idon't share like my personal
budget with them or like, I likecertain things with like, my
whole circle.
Katherine Sanderson (08:37):
Yeah, more really private things there.
Because you you're not lookingat them as as your your best
friends or your you know,intimate partners. You're
looking at them as as astructure of support and
friendship. Yeah. So you knowthat you don't need to share
every every personal detail withall of your circles. Yeah. And
(09:00):
that you you can utilize theirsupport for for the bigger
thing. Yeah. And broader
Unknown (09:06):
things. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (09:08):
Well, what are some of your goals for the
future Micah?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (09:12):
I think right now trying to find a new
roommate keep living inSyracuse, New York. Maybe
finding a girlfriend when I whenI like when I when the right is
the right time and this justbeing healthy and just doing the
(09:39):
things I'm doing to keephealthy.
Greta Harrison (09:42):
Okay. All very good goals. All very good goals.
Now, are there any little thingsthey might seem like everyday
things to you, but any thingsthat help you be independent,
like for instance, something onyour wrist Yeah,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:00):
I I like to have an Apple watch that i i
can wear during the day andnight and I it helps me track
when I'm running when I'msleeping and, and it helps me
know about my calories and it'sjust a great, it's a great
watch.
Greta Harrison (10:19):
How long have you been using that?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:21):
Since since my birthday when I turned
30
Greta Harrison (10:27):
Okay. Do you use one of those smart devices that
has a name? I can't say itbecause mine will turn on in my
house, but
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:36):
no, I did.
And then I just got weird aboutit now. Like I have it in my
bedroom, but I took a break fromit. It was just weird.
Greta Harrison (10:45):
Okay, so you don't really depend on that. Is
there? Is there anything elsethat helps you? Um,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (10:52):
yeah, I have Siri on my, my, um, my
phone and Apple Watch. Yeah.
Greta Harrison (10:59):
So you talk to Siri? I do. Okay,
Katherine Sanderson (11:03):
theory does dictation for you. Right? Like
Siri? Yeah. Well be a scribe foryou.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (11:10):
Yeah, yeah, she he does a good job.
Sometimes he doesn't put theright words in my messages. But
okay,
Greta Harrison (11:18):
so you're using Siri to talk and make messages.
That's, that's a good tip. Isthere anything else that you
think of that in your everydaylife helps you be independent?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (11:29):
I'm learning now. Like, I'm like, am
I calm down? Like I've learnedhow to wash my hair because I
have it in my calendar now. AndI wash my hair and put things in
my calendar to knowing when towash my hair. And when the cream
on my face? And
Katherine Sanderson (11:45):
yeah, not that you didn't know how to do
things, but more that you didn'thave a sense of what was
expected in terms of frequency.
Yeah. And again, not that youweren't even doing them? Yeah,
maybe you were doing things toomuch, or maybe not enough. And
so you found you asked forprompts to be put in your
calendar. So then you see thatthis is, this is a good day to
(12:05):
change my sheets every week, orthis is the day that I'm
supposed to wash my hair. Andyeah, I don't have to wash my
hair every day. But I shouldshower. It's just, you know,
just getting a better sense. Andusing your calendar in your
phone to be those reminders. AndI think you're also getting
more, you're you're making morerequests and ways to help you be
more independent with yourskills, right? You've talked
(12:29):
recently about making some somestoryboards, or picture stories,
with with steps for certaincleaning tasks or things like
that. So getting a little bitmore creative with with some of
those those tools is somethingthat you're interested in doing
at this point. Yeah. Okay,
Greta Harrison (12:50):
so mica, you are such a wonderful positive
example of using social mediafor good, you've built such a
strong social media circle ofsupport around you. Can you
share your thoughts about socialmedia? Maybe some tips and
suggestions because you've donea great job?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (13:09):
Yeah, I, it's good to like, post things
on Facebook, when I when I likeposting on Facebook about like,
update, so sharing my feelingsor thoughts about my thoughts of
how day is going, or how myevening and how things are
going. And, and people like tohave really like, following me
(13:33):
and reading everything I postand, and, and I'm yeah, you
share links to right. Yeah, andI Yeah, and I and I share links
from other friends and otherpeople and, and I'm trying to
like learn how to how to takebreaks from social media to have
(13:54):
like very temporary to go to bedand I'm trying to learn that one
of my one of my goes to takingbreaks from from like my phone
and and other things.
Greta Harrison (14:07):
Well, that is important. You can't do it 24
hours a day. And I and I want tothrow out there that for me as
an observer. What I like aboutyour social media presence is
you have built a good number offriends on Facebook but it's all
(14:27):
from a relationship standpointyou're not out there post you
know posting a picture ofyourself every single day you're
not out there just trying to getyou know X number of followers
to have followers. Your yourfriends are there because of
relationships. That's whatyou're trying to build. Right?
Yeah. And and I love that everytime you post something good or
(14:51):
maybe something that's not sogood. This the the genuine love
and caring of people comes outand I think it's wonderful. It I
love what you just said abouttaking a break from social
media. And that's veryimportant. So I'm glad that you
know that you can't live onthere 24 hours a day. And you
(15:11):
can only take certain thingsseriously, right? You can't
leave everything you see. Andyou can't take everything you
see seriously, right? Yeah. Allright. So let's, let's add one
more tidbit that just came up inour organic discussion here
about things that help you whenyou're independent. And you just
(15:32):
mentioned something that helpsyou around the house that you
just got what is that? Let'stake
Micah Fialka-Feldman (15:39):
it take it take a walk back that will clean
the whole house.
Katherine Sanderson (15:46):
be wonderful. The floors though,
right? Yeah. Yeah, you've gotthese beautiful hardwood floors
all through your house. And it'sa lot to sweep every day. Yeah.
Yeah. The robo vacuum is gonnado that work for you.
Greta Harrison (16:03):
And you like that? So you'd like the robo
vacuum? Yeah,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (16:07):
I'm gonna try it out later on today, but
yeah.
Katherine Sanderson (16:12):
Brand new tool. Yeah. Brand
Greta Harrison (16:14):
new toy, too, right. Oh, yeah. The tool and a
toy? I'm sure. Right. Yeah.
Okay, so do you have any advicefor people with intellectual
disabilities who want to beindependent, when they are in
their 20s? Because you wereindependent in your 20s? Or was
Yeah, so think about that? WhatWhat advice do you have for the
(16:36):
people behind you who want to beindependent advice for the young
adults, but also their familiesfor both?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (16:46):
I think making sure they have good
circles and good parents andgood people that help them and
surround them and asking them ifthey want to move right at their
parents house, or if they wantto move to a nice data city, or
make sure that they have a goodjob and good people to to like
(17:10):
to like to, like help them.
Katherine Sanderson (17:15):
And you think to about people that don't
necessarily have parents thatare really capable of, of
supporting people to move out ontheir own? Yeah. You said to me
earlier, just encouraging peopleto really use their voice and to
know, to know that more ispossible and to really advocate
(17:37):
and find people around them tohelp them advocate for what is
gonna work best in their lives.
Right. Yeah.
Micah Fialka-Feldman (17:44):
Yeah. And, and like, and like know, that,
like people with disabilities,it's hard to sometimes have a
district that there's like, lotsof paperwork, and lots of things
that you have to do as a personwith a disability and, and
website. And just like makingsure that you have a voice when
(18:08):
when, like you go to like, whenyou go to a doctor's appointment
and stuff.
Greta Harrison (18:13):
Very important.
Very important. Thank you forthat feedback. Micah. That's,
that's excellent. Catherine, canyou share with us a sweet story
that you have either workingwith mica or of mica?
Katherine Sanderson (18:28):
Yeah, I guess I am thinking about last
summer, when we were able to goto the Syracuse community choir
concert together. That's theCommunity Choir is a long
standing local organizationthat's actually kind of based
right here in this neighborhoodand mica, you've sung with them
a little bit in the past. Yeah.
And I actually sang with themwhen I was a little girl long
(18:52):
time ago. And haven't been to aconcert and a long time ago, of
course, they haven't had inperson concerts for a while. But
this was an outdoor one lastsummer. And anyway, Mike a put
that on my radar and really keptreminding me about about it. And
then that meant that we wereable to go together and we went
(19:15):
with my little boy who's fourand my mom who mica knows as
well and and then just theamount of people in the audience
that knew you and that you knewand how wonderful it was to see
you reconnecting with peoplethat you hadn't seen in quite
some time. That was reallysweet. And the music was
(19:37):
beautiful. And there was Iremember the Ukrainian choir
were too. That was a reallysweet night.
Greta Harrison (19:44):
Ah, I can vision that right now. And also
everybody knows knowing mica Ican I can see that too. Mica Can
you think of a sweet story?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (19:54):
Yeah, I yeah, I I have one. I like this.
Like, just like it was, it's asteroid, but it's like, during,
during, like when I had when Ihad like when I had like got
when I had kidney stones. And Iwas mean asked for going to King
(20:16):
back then it was the firstdoctor when you read this.
Here's making me likeoverwhelmed because he like, he
like was like a very like, helike used words and like, and I
think his language for wasn'tlike first first like first like
(20:37):
first first like first. Firstlike Huizenga was had done just
damn timber. And then we went tohim and it was good. And then a
couple of months later, I guess.
And they will just change adragon. Like, when to have the
procedure. And then Katherinehelped me find like a new king
(21:01):
doctor that was that has beenlike great and, and I was just
very glad that I was able tofind I was able to find that
good new, new like, doctor.
Greta Harrison (21:16):
So you're talking about how ash and
Catherine both helped youthrough that, that time when you
were uncertain of what was goingon. And they helped you speed up
the process and they helped youunderstand the doctor more
right. And deal with the doctorto well, that. Well, Catherine,
I hope that makes you feel goodto know that you're appreciated
(21:37):
like that. I think that's sweet.
Now, are there any funny storiesthat either of you have?
Katherine Sanderson (21:44):
funny stories? I mean, we've
definitely made each other laugha fair amount. Yeah,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (21:48):
we have.
Like she, she like helped mewrite a great note. Right.
Right. We found my roommatemoved out. It was great. Not
that I gave her. And she helpedme. Like a great note that Yeah.
Katherine Sanderson (22:04):
Was that funny, though?
Micah Fialka-Feldman (22:05):
Funny.
That
Greta Harrison (22:07):
was sweet. That was right. That was sweet. Okay.
Okay.
Katherine Sanderson (22:14):
So at some point on Tuesday, I guess Mike,
uh, took the garbage out of thekitchen. And then when I came
back yesterday, I picked you upafter work, right? We met at the
edge of the campus. Yeah, droveback here to spend a few hours
working together. And we openedthe door downstairs. And I said,
(22:35):
Oh, my God, what is that smell?
Like? I said, Oh, God, I don'tknow what is that? And then we
came up the stairs and openedthe door. And oops, there was
the trash bags. And you said,Oh, my bed and we laughed and
open the windows and lit acandle. Right? Yeah, yeah.
Greta Harrison (22:54):
Okay. That's, that is cute. That is funny. I
still remember when I asked youthat question about Tori. And
when I asked you what was sweet,your answer was going running
with her and then getting hotchocolate. And I just I still
have that memory on a cold daygoing running and getting hot
chocolate. And then for beingfunny. I remember her saying
(23:18):
something about getting out ofthe car with you and in you not
understanding about how shemeant to get out of the car or
something. And the way you guysjust talked with each other was
hilarious. So that that wascute. So is there is there
anything that I have not askedyou that you want to let people
(23:38):
know or that you want to talkabout? No,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (23:42):
I can't think of any thing. Okay,
Greta Harrison (23:46):
well, Micah, I hope you know how much I truly,
truly do care about you andadmire you. And I'm so grateful
to call you friend, when whenyou send me a text or an email
or call me on the phone, itmakes my day. And I just want to
thank you for sharing your lifeand your wisdom and your
(24:07):
suggestions for everybody elseso that we can hopefully help
make a more inclusive world andhave more people be independent
like you are and interdependent.
And Catherine Sanderson, I wantto thank you for your time today
to your your input wasinvaluable. And I just love how
you make sure that there'snothing about us without us.
(24:31):
Like you were saying you wantthe person within disability to
definitely be part of theequation. And you want to work
with people, not for people. AndI just love everything about
your vibe. I can definitely seewhy Mike is parents chose you a
year ago and you seem to be agift to each other. So thank you
(24:52):
for sharing your time today. AndI greatly appreciate you. Thank
you.
Katherine Sanderson (24:59):
Thank you Oh,
Micah Fialka-Feldman (25:00):
thank you.
Greta Harrison (25:01):
Thank you. Thank you for listening to Episode 16
of Born Fabulous Podcast's thirdseason. I hope you enjoyed it
and want to hear more shortvideo clips from most episodes
are available on our YouTubechannel and on board fabulous
podcast.com. In Episode 17, youwill meet the parents of James
(25:22):
and Kristen Zol. Both sets ofparents talking together, they
have a wealth of knowledge toshare about their young adults
who've been married for overfive years now. James and
Kristen live a happy independentlife with proper supports in
place. Please follow and like uson Facebook, Instagram and
Twitter. If you enjoyed thisepisode, I'd be honored if you
(25:45):
would leave a review whereveryou heard this podcast. Now,
please enjoy this clip of loveas a potion. The lyrics are by
Melissa regio, who was the focusof season one episodes one
through four. The music andvoice are by Rachel fuller
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