Forty-Nine: My Envy Of Believers

While I’m not a believer I do have times where I’m jealous or envious of those who believe in the afterlife and supernatural.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Greetings, and welcome into another episode of The Brett Mason Show.
I'm the afore mentioned Brett Mason. Today's gonna be all
It'll still be controversial, but it's gonna be a less antagonistic.
It's not gonna be about politics, not gonna be about
religion per se, although I guess it could broadly fall

(00:24):
under that category. But I'm gonna talk about my jealousy.
And when I say that, I don't think I'm sitting
around every day just jealous, jealous jealous, because I'm not,
like I rarely ever think about it ever. But sometimes,
like i'd say, maybe twice a year, somebody will say

(00:45):
something and it'll pop up and I'll be like, man,
I'm really envious of that. There's an old saying that
ignorance is bliss, And I'm not saying that people that
believe are ignorant. I'm not saying that, but it's it's
kind of an equivalent type saying talking about when you
lose loved ones in your life. There's these people, first

(01:09):
of all, people who believe in an afterlife. They believe
in heaven and hell. You'll notice that nobody ever thinks
they're relative with the hell. They never do. Like the
whole time they're alive. Christians talk about if you don't
live right, you're going to hell. You don't believe you're
going to hell, you don't get baptized, you're going to hell.
If you don't know this, you're going to hell. But then,

(01:30):
no matter who dies, they never say, well, it's a
shame for old Johnny. I bet he's in hell right now.
You never hear that. They never say that. It says
if once the person passes, well, then suddenly we cut
them with some slack on their imperfections, you know, we
cut them some slack on their faults. He's a good

(01:52):
old boy. He'd do anything for you. They'll say, it's
one of the worst people ever. Right, Oh, well, you
know he was this, that and the other. But he
he gave your shirt off his back so he thought
you really needed it, you know, things like that. So
it's cope, man, it's just cope. Like when everybody's alive.

(02:12):
I think it's the one thing I find interesting about
this belief in the afterlife is when people are alive,
they're such strong believers and this construct of you got
to do this, this, this, this and this if you
want to make it to heaven, otherwise you're going straight
to hell. But once the once the passing comes, you know,

(02:39):
then suddenly they seem to cut a lot of slack
for people that have passed right because the Bible while
they're alive. Because I grew up in Pentecostal churches. So look,
if you grew up in a kinder, gentler kind of church,
you may not relate to what I'm saying. But if
you grew up and spent twenty years of your life
in a hardcore Pentecostal holiness church, boy, they pound it

(03:00):
straight as the gate and narrow is the way, and
few there be that find it. Few, they emphasize few,
hardly anybody makes it. But then when it comes to death,
they never say Sammy or Johnny or Susy or Timmy
or Lisa went to hell. They just never say it.

(03:21):
And if you genuinely believe that straight is the gate
and narrow is a way, and few there be that
find it, then most people who die are going to hell.
Only a few people are going to heaven. Which is,
while I repeat what I've said before, people don't really
believe this. It's just cope to get through life. Religion
is a cope to get through life. It's a cope

(03:43):
to deal with bad things that happen. Right. It's the
way you can deal with getting sick. It's the way
you can deal with the loss of a loved one.
It's a way you can deal with being poor and broke.
It's the way you can deal with being hungry. It's
a way you can deal with losing your job. It's
a way you can deal with the breakup. It's the
way you deal with the divorce. It's a way you deal.
It's cope. Religion is a cope, and to that extent,

(04:04):
I don't mind it. It's as good as any other cope.
It's better than alcohols, better than drugs, you know. So
as copes go, it's not a bad cope. But when
the rubber hits the road, I find that most people,
and not all for sure, not all, but most people's
belief they're hardcore beliefs, kind of fade when there's a passing.

(04:26):
And so, look, I don't mind the cope. I've said
it before. I said it in another episode. I think
organized religion does serve a positive place in the community
a lot of the time, and Fortunately they override it
with all the negative they do. But I know churches
will help people out sometimes. I know churches is a
place where people who don't have family and things can

(04:48):
gather and fell a part of something. I know it's
a place where people who've suffered trauma in their life
can go and feel surrounded and loved and feel like
there's an answer, and feel like there's a future, and
feel that there's hope. So I mean's I think there's
a lot of positive roles that organize religion play. Unfortunately,
there's so much negative atta attached to it. It's just
so much negative. But anyway, as I'm recording this, three

(05:15):
days ago was the seven year anniversary of the passing
of my mother, the most seminal moment in my life. Now,
I've had some seminal moments. I had, of course, the
passing of my father, which happened in you know, relatively
traumatic fashion. More traumatic for my mom because she was there,

(05:36):
but I was, you know, when I walked in the hoste,
she called me and I rushed to the hospital. And
as I was walking down the hall of the emergency
room to this little room they had her in, I
passed the emergency room cube that they had him in
and they were working on him, and I saw it
and it was, you know, retive relatively, you know, start

(05:58):
traumatic moment, but you know, I had a best friend
who was like a brother to me take his own
life in my presence, which was traumatic to say the least.
The passing of my mother by far the most seminal,

(06:21):
life altering moment of my life. And so it's been
a seven years of cope, my own kind of cope, right.
I can't say I handled it the best at times,
didn't handle it on my own at times, relied heavily
on just the simplest of things from particularly one person,
particularly one person, my aunt, who reached out to me,

(06:44):
often told me she loved me, often asked me how
I was doing. Often many many days. There was so
many days I would wake up and sit on the
edge of the bed and wonder if today was the
day I decided not to continue anymore. And I would
just a message from my aunt and she'd be like, hey,
want to see how you're doing the day and tell

(07:05):
you that I love you, And that would be the
thing that kept me going that day. So I can
never overestimate the impact that my aunt has had on
my life in the seven years since my mom passed.
But one of the things that I'm well, I guess

(07:26):
there's two things I'm kind of envious of now. Like
I said, I don't sit around every day and envy
of people over this. It rarely, if ever happens. But
sometimes I'll think about my mom, or I'll hear somebody
say something and I you know, they'll say, well, I

(07:49):
know we'll be reunited again, right, one day, I'll be
reunited with so and so. Now I don't believe that.
I don't believe at it. For instance, first of all,
if there is genuinely an afterlife and you have to
buy by all these rules of Christianity to get to
the heaven side, I won't be there. So even if
it's real, I won't be reunited with my mom. I'll

(08:11):
be crisping it up in hell. So that that makes
it unfortunate that even if it is real, I won't
be there. But primarily I just don't believe that it's real.
I believe that you know, you don't exist, and then
suddenly you, through this miracle of procreation, you come into existence.
You come from nothing and then you once your time

(08:34):
here is going, you return to nothing, and all that's
left is your the memories of you and the impact
that you made in the lives of others. So sometimes
I'm in the us of that, but I'm mostly not
because when I think about it, if you read what
the afterlife is according to the Bible, it's it seems
doesn't seem that great to me. Now, I've had some

(08:54):
people say that it's that I'm being blasphemous or being
mocking or whatever, but I'm just being genuine though with everything,
I'm being genuine. Like my opinion on God is like,
if God is as smart as you say it is,
and he's just intelligence as you say it is, and
he's as all knowing as you say is, and he's
as merciful and compassionate as you say is, He's going
to know that I'm not doing any of this from

(09:15):
a standpoint of mockery or hate or blasphemy. Is just
I'm just being honest, Like I can't change what I
feel and what I believe. You can't, you know, I
could pretend to change. I could make people happy by
pretending to change. I could show up to church and
I could start praying and singing again, and I'll probably
start preaching again. Yep. I used to preach, believe it
or not. It used to be a preacher. I could

(09:37):
start doing all that stuff again, but I wouldn't really
believe it, Like I wouldn't genuinely believe it. I'd just
be going through the boy. People would love it anyways.
You know, if God is this great, if he's amazing
in all these ways that you say, is, he's going
to know that I'm not. I don't hate him, I
just don't believe him. I don't believe he exists. I

(09:58):
believe it's a man made construct. And he'll also understand
that he's not done an adequate job of convincing me right.
He's the most hidden, unrevealed, all powerful being of all time.
I literally see no evidence for it. And so, you know,

(10:19):
if my life comes to an end today and I
do by some you know, twist of fate wind up
in this judgment scenario, hopefully he is as smart as
you say, and he is compassionate as you say, and
he'll be like, you know what. The Bible is a
horrible book. It's very confusing, it's very contradictory. There's so

(10:40):
much stuff in it that just is not true that
there's no way you could believe any of it's true.
And so I understand, I understand why believe I should
have done a better job of laying out some evidence
for you to believe in. Hopefully it'll be that, you know,
if it winds up being that, But but I don't
believe it'll be that. I just believe I'll at some
point and I'll gasp, will last breath, and the lights

(11:03):
will go dark, and that'll be the end. And so
I guess, you know, in some regards, I'm kind of
envious of that. But but to my point about this,
this afterlife as it's described in Christianity, it seems horrible
to me if you read it. First of all, you're
transfigured into a new body that's you know, it's not this,

(11:25):
so it's not us like your mom. May't no look
like your mom, and you're not gonna hang around and
eat her biscuits and pork chops that you loved. You know,
the Bible's pretty clear about what's going to happen in heaven.
The the the sun will be the light, and it'll
be NonStop praise and worshiping them him for all eternity.
You're just I guess, standing around or floating around. You know,

(11:47):
I don't know the details, is not but for eternity.
Think about eternity. Like I'm only fifty four now, and
I'm already just you. I don't want to die today,
but life's already starting to get a little old to me,
Like I want to make it another twenty years, for sure,
in a healthy way. Like I don't want to last
twenty years and be in a nursing home. But you know,

(12:09):
if I can get up, move around and do things
and whatever, I'd love to have another twenty years or
thirty years, even, I guess, but it's all life's already
starting to be very repetitive and old to me, like
a lot of it's just like I don't find a
lot of I don't look forward to a lot of
things in the future. And boy e turnedy's a long

(12:30):
time by a million years from now, and you're still
standing around singing the praises of somebody, and that's just it.
That's just what you're doing. And I don't I don't
find any evidence in the Bible of this tale that
preachers tell you about how you be fishing on this
Heavenly Creek bank with your uncle that you used to
love going fishing with, or you know, there's no evidence

(12:50):
of any of that happening. And what I find that
they say will happen, you know, is endlessly bowing and
kneeling and singing Holy as His Name and stuff. I mean,
and that's I mean, you don't do that now. If
that's so great, why aren't you doing it now? Why
aren't you on your knees twenty four hours a day,
seven days a week, three und sixty five days on
a year doing it now? If it's so great, that's

(13:14):
not what you're doing now, you mean to tell me
that it's what you're gonna enjoy doing for eternity, then,
I mean, I guess perhaps it beats the alternative, which
is being in an eternal crisper, but I just I
don't know. So there's that part. But then there's the
thing that made that prompted this episode, and it's this.

(13:37):
I watched this video on YouTube of this YouTuber whose
father was killed in a car crash by a drunk driver, right,
and I saw it because I follow a lot of
these police blogs and true crime blogs and police body
cam blogs, and think I followed those things and that's

(13:58):
how I found the story. And you know, it was
actual footage of the crash and the person that hit them.
But that prompted me to go to her YouTube channel
to see the updates that you know, that she posted
after it happened. I don't know. I have a weird
thing about that. I guess it's because I just relate
to people who've lost parents in some kind of a way.
I don't know, But she made a video where she

(14:20):
talked about, you know, she saw something today and she
knows that it was her father sending her a sign
that he was watching over her. And just for the
briefest of moments, I was jealous, not because I actually
believe it happened, Like I don't, for a second believe
that her dad sent her a sign that he's watching
over I don't believe in any way shape. But I

(14:43):
was jealous that she believed that and it brought her
comfort because I don't get that. I have a friend
who lost a loved one, and every time they see
a dime, they believe that it's a sign from their
loved one telling them that they're watching them, watching over them,
looking out for them. Obviously, that's not what it is.

(15:06):
Somebody dropped a dime. That's what happened. Somebody was walking
they dropped the diamond just randomly today you happen to
see it, especially because you're looking for dimes, right when
you believe that your loved one who's passed is dropping
dimes around for you. You're always looking for dimes. So you're
gonna find a higher percentage of dimes than I will
because I'm not looking for them. I'm not walking around

(15:27):
looking at the ground open to find dimes than you are.
So you're gonna find way more dimes on the ground
than I am, just by the fact that you're looking
for them, and then when you find them, you're gonna
believe it's a sign. But it comforts you. And I'm
envious of that because to me, it's just somebody dropped
a diamond. Oops, I found it. My grandmother had this

(15:50):
belief that when she saw a hummingbird it was a
sign from her daughter, who was my aunt, who I
think I only met twice in my whole life because
they lived in Miami and my aunt died when she
was very young, so it was my mom's sister. So
my grandmother believed that anytime she saw a hummingbird that

(16:13):
was a sign from her daughter, to which at some
point she wound up retiring and selling her house and
moving from Miami back to this small town place in
the Panhandle on the same property with my parents, in
a country setting, and she had this big deck out front,
and she set up this hummingbird feeder, which attracted hummingbirds,

(16:37):
which brought her comfort. Obviously, her daughter didn't send those
hummingbirds there. The humming birds are there because she set
up a hummingbird feeder in the country where hummingbirds exist,
and they came to feed. But the point is it
brought her comfort, and I'm envious of that, Like I
don't get that. It's so much to the point that

(16:59):
like I don't need gets dream visitations, Like a lot
of people will dream about their loved ones and have
good dreams. Since my mother died, I've had maybe a handful,
maybe five dreams where either my mom or my dad
or both were in the dream, and none of them
were pleasant. They were all bad. They were just bad,
just bad vibes, bad karma, bad things happening, nothing pleasant,

(17:23):
nothing comforting. And so again I'm envious of people who say,
you know, they had a dream about their mom and
they had a lovely conversation with their mom at pastwater.
I'm very envious to that because I don't get that
now that I could believe in it not be mystical,
like I would enjoy that. I would know that while
I was asleep, my brain was recalling these images and

(17:45):
thoughts and feelings about my mom and constituting them into
a dream, and this little dream plays out of my
brain while I'm asleep, and that would bring me comfort
because it'd be like a memory. Kind of it wouldn't
really be a memory, because your brain would be creating
a conversation that never happened and making it look like
it's a new conversation. But in a way, it would
be like your brain is resurrecting them and perhaps simulating

(18:08):
what a present day conversation with them might be. And
I would find that comforting. But I've never had that,
And so I mean, I'm a little bit envious. I'm
a little bit jealous of these people. I don't for
a moment believe that anything they're experiencing is real, but
they are experiencing it and they do believe it and
it brings them comfort. And that's something that I'll never

(18:30):
you know, I never say never, like something could happen
today that would change my mind. I'm open to it.
For sure. It's very unlikely, you know, on a scale
of zero to one hundred, one hundred being I'm one
hundred percent sure it'll happen at some point, and zero
being it'll never happen, I'm on like a one, you know,

(18:51):
not even a one. I'm on like a point twenty five.
I'm on a quarter of a one percent chance that
something like that would ever happen. Probably that's probably still
too high. But I'm open to it. But it's not
like I shut it out. It's not like I intentionally
shut it out, but I am open to it. I
would love to have a dream where me and my
mom have a conversation and it feels like she's really

(19:14):
there and it's nice and it's comforting and it's warm,
and it's not these horrible dreams that I have when
I do rarely, if ever have them. I don't know,
I'm envious. I'm jealous again, you know, when I started
this where I said you know, ignorance is bliss. It's not.
It's not what I meant, like, I don't. I'm not
saying anybody's ignorant, but it's that same kind of a saying, like,

(19:35):
belief in the ridiculous is bliss, right, belief in the
of something that's just can't ever possibly believe true, but
believing in it it's bliss. It's a certain form of bliss.
It's something that I don't I want to experience. My uh,
my life is just days of loneliness strung together into

(19:55):
weeks of loneliness strung together in the months of loneliness
where I just miss my mom and I miss my dad,
and I miss my grandmother, and I miss you know
more importantly than all that I miss. It's a connection
it's hard to describe. Like, I have no immediate family.
I don't I don't have brothers, I don't have sisters,

(20:18):
I don't have parents, I don't have children. So there
is you have family, right, I'm talking about my aunt.
I love my aunt dearly. She means the world to me.
She is the literally the most precious thing in the
world to me. But she is not my immediate family.
She's not a mother, father, sister, brother, child, and there
is something about that core. If you have that, you

(20:39):
know it's different, right. The love for you have for
your children is different than the love you have for
an aunt. It's a it's a more. I don't even
know if you say you love them more. It's not
even that, it's just it's just a connection. It's a
connection that can't be duplicated. You can't duplicate or simulate
the connection you have with a mother, father, brother, sister, daughter, son.

(21:03):
That connection can't be duplicated by any other connection. And
so I'll never have any of that. I'll never have
a child, never have a brother, sister, never have mother, father,
none of that again. And so I am in a
perpetual state of not being connected to that. I have
zero connections. And this is not to demean other people's grief.

(21:28):
I respect other people's grief, and I believe that they
grieve just as hard as I do. But I will
say this, when you leave, when you lose someone, but
you are left with a parent, or you are left
with a sister or brother, or you are left with
a child, you are still left with one of those
core connections. You still have a core, centric, unreplicatable connection

(21:51):
that that is I think centric to the human experience.
And so while I don't dismiss anybody but he's grief,
I will say that people who have that have one
step further than I have. Does that mean they grieve left? No,
Please don't misunderstand I'm sying. I'm not saying that they
grieve any less. I'm just saying that while they may

(22:15):
be going through the same or worse level of grief
than I'm going through, they do have moments where they
where that connection is in their life and it provides something.
It feels a hole that I don't have field and
will never have field, and so my life is an
empty void always, it just is empty. Now the religious

(22:38):
people would step in and say, Jesus can feel that
void for you, I mean he can't. He's I've never
seen him. He don't show up, he don't talk to you.
He's not only to watch a movie with me. He's
not going to sit down by side of me and
put his arm around my shoulder. And I'm having a
bad day. I know you believe that that requires that

(22:58):
requires some really intense level of belief that I can't
make the leap to I remember my mom, you know,
once she got diagnosed with cancer, and then I quit
my job, and I spent a lot of time at
her house, and then in the end she spent a
lot of time at mind. But I have clear memories
before it got really bad, Right the first couple of

(23:20):
years she had cancer, and I'd be at her house
and she'd be sitting in a recliner and she'd just
be having a conversation with Jesus as if he was
right there. Now he wasn't there, he wasn't speaking back
to her, but she believed. She genuinely believed and felt
in her heart and soul she was conversing with Jesus.
She believed it. This is why when people say that
I hate on Christians and stuff, or I'm hateful or what,

(23:42):
I'm not, because to be that would mean that I'd
be hating on my mom, and I would never hate
on my mom. I cherished my mom. My mom was
one of the greatest humans to ever exist, one of
the most loving, caring, compassionate, real, talented, helpful people that
you'll ever meet. And so I don't hate on Christians.
They just believe something I don't believe, and I can't

(24:03):
get there. That's a path too far from me. And
I believe that I'll be honest. I believe what my
mom believed isn't real, but I don't think she's dumb
for believing it. That's what she was raised in, is
what she was taught. It gets dug deep down into
your psyche and get and it's very hard to move
away from it, especially when you have no desire to.
Even when you have a desire to try to find

(24:25):
truth that may be other than that, it's still hard
to move away. It was so hard for me to
move away from it, like I feared hell for so long.
They pound this fear of hell into you and it
makes it really hard to leave. And there's still times,
very rarely, but once in a great while, I don't know,
once a year or something, I'll just have a thought about, Wow,

(24:45):
what if we do wind up Crispin in hell forever?
I mean, it's I'm willing to deal with it, because
again I go back to this notion. If you claim
your God is righteous and just and merciful and compassionate
and all knowing, then he knows that he failed me.
He did not provide any meaningful evidence of his existence

(25:07):
for me to be a believer, it's not there. And
the evidence that he did provide, which is a Bible
which has which was written in a language that I
don't speak, and it was confusing as hell in the
original language and then once it got translated into another
language again that I don't speak. I was raised on
the King James. We don't speak King James. I know,
you might read a King James Bible and think it's great,

(25:27):
but you don't speak King James English. There's stuff in
there that you missed because they're speaking a different language,
and you're like, no, it's English. Yeah, it's English. But
just like today people in Great Britain call the trunk
of a car a boot, we don't call it a boot,
and so we call it a trunk. And so if

(25:49):
they were writing the Holy Text right now and we
didn't understand that context, and we were incapable of understanding
how the English worked that way, and they were talking
about they stuffed up, you know, we were reading the
Holy Book that it said you want to take your
you want to take your valuables, and you want to
lock them in a boot. We'd be like you'd have

(26:13):
a bunch of Christians speaking modern day English with padlocks on,
boots on like a fit on, like a cowboy boot,
and they put their valuables in it, and they'd be like, oh,
the Bible says it. If the Bible says it, I
believe it. Well, what the Bible actually was saying was
you need to put your valuables in the trunk of
your car. Unlock. It is what it was saying. And

(26:33):
here you are looking ridiculous with a cowboy boot with
a padlock on it, with with some jewelry and stuff
in it. And so you know, and that's stuff in
modern day that I can relate to. And now we're
going to go back to what was it the sixteenth
century or something, to that version of English that I
don't They say things that don't make no sense to me.
So sure you can make out some of it, you can.

(26:55):
You can make you can you can understand what thou
and shall and all that means. We can figure out.
But some of it it's just a different vernacular. They
just spoken different ways then, and now we're trying to
make it make sense when we don't speak that way anymore.
And it's nonsensical. There's so much of it's nonsensical. And
then when you just take the stuff, just out and
out lies. And every time I record one of these,

(27:18):
not every time, but a couple of times, I've gotten
messages in my email people ask me what lie? What
lies are you talking about? What's untruth? And I've given
one a couple of times. I'll give you another one.
I'll give you another one right now, I give you two.
So there's one verse in the Bible that says, raise
up a child and the way she go, and when
he gets old, he will not depart from it. Well,

(27:39):
that's just untrue. I was raised up in Christianity as
hardcoores you can be raised. I was there every time
the doors were open, and we were in a church
where the doors were open a lot, like five six
days a week. And I was there till I was
thirteen fourteen. Then I got a little bit of freedom
and only had to be there once or twice a
week from like thirteen fourteen to like seventeen and then eighteen.
You know, I was away from it from eighteen nineteen,

(28:01):
and then when I was twenty, I got back in church.
Then I was traveling in a gospel group, singing and
evangelizing and preaching, and we did that for a couple
of years, and then I got away from it and
I haven't been back to it since I'm mid fifties now,
and I have no intention of going back into it.
So that Bible verse is just wrong. It's verifiably and
demonstrably wrong. Another one that comes to mind is honor

(28:27):
your mother and your father, that your days will be
long upon the earth. Now, I don't know about you,
but I wouldn't consider somebody that lived to be only
sixty having long days upon the earth. That's dying young.
I'm six years away from that. I'm young. I know.
If you're listening to this and you're thirty, you think
I'm old. Well, one day you'll be mid fifties and
you'll be like, I'm not old, you know. You know,

(28:50):
the closer you get to one hundred, you start being old.
If I'm going to say your days are long upon
the earth, that's implying that they weren't average length. They
weren't short length, they weren't average link. If you died
at sixty, that is not your days being long upon
the earth. But the Bible guarantees it. It says, honor
your father and your mother, that your days will be
long upon the earth. My dad died when he was sixty.

(29:15):
There is not a human being alive that honored his
father and his mother more than my dad did my mom.
I had many conversations with my mom about the way
my dad honored his father, but particularly his mother. We
were at my grandmother's house without fail. Every Sunday. He
went and made sure yards was cleaned. He went and

(29:37):
checked on her every afternoon. We spent every Sunday there,
We spent other afternoons there. He was always checking on
her and doing for and he cherished her and honored
her like you wouldn't, like no other man has ever
honored his mother ever. And you know, I don't really
know his father because he died when I was whatever
one or something, so I have no memories of him,

(29:58):
but from all reports, he honored him the same way.
I'm sorry, sixty years old is not long upon the earth.
My dad honored them as much as you would honor
your parents, and his days were not. It's it's just
another one. I can go through and find so much
stuff in the Bible that's just simply hogwash. It's maloney,
it's gibberish. And so once I can find some of

(30:19):
it that I can demonstrably that I know, without a
shadow of doubt, just simply isn't true, how can I
believe any of it's true. Anyways, I've gone thirty seconds
past what I really hoped I would go. But yeah,
I'm a little bit envious. I'm a little bit envious.
I wish i'd see my mom again, you know, in
the way that I used to see here, and I

(30:40):
try to make up for times that I missed. I
would and I wish she left me signs and comforted
me and all these type things, but I just don't
believe it. I hope that you have the best day,
and I hope that you've lost loved ones that you
do find moments of that's my great wish for you.

(31:01):
I hope you do find signs that come for you.
I hope that you do believe in a way that
one day you'll be reunited and it brings you comfort,
because I would not deny that comfort to anybody. I
wish all the very best for you, and I thank
you for being here for this episode, and we will
talk to you next time.