Welcome to the Builder of All Things Podcast—where we go beyond the pages of the book and explore into the Author’s Cut! 🔥 Join Richie Breaux and Ray Bisnar as they break down each chapter in micro-episodes, giving you the behind-the-scenes insights, deeper wisdom, and real-life applications—just like a Director’s Cut for a book.
Episode 3 | Facing the Mirror (Chapter 8)
In this part of Chapter 8: Facing the Mirror, we uncover the Three H’s—three powerful tools for identifying and eliminating the “smoke” that clouds our vision and derails our purpose. Through a personal story of loss, lessons from firefighting, and biblical insight, we explore how to spot the “flash points” where trouble begins—and stop it before it spreads.
You’ll discover:
* How a devastating house fire revealed an unforgettable symbol of hope
* The meaning of flash points and why finding them stops the smoke before it starts
* The Three H’s: Honesty, Humility, and Healing—and how each one clears ego, misaligned effort, and emotional residue
* Why letting go of control can move you from performance to true service
* How to protect yourself from the “one-star reviews” moments in life and leadership
This episode will help you lead, serve, and live with clarity—fully aligned with the assignment God has for you.
📖 From Chapter 8: Facing the Mirror in the book.🙏 Let’s identify the flash points, clear the smoke, and stay in God’s lane.
#FacingTheMirror #Episode3 #Chapter8 #ThreeHs #Faith #Leadership #Honesty #Humility #Healing #PersonalGrowth
Follow "Builder of All Things" on YOUTUBE@richiebreaux
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
With these three indicators, right?
Those pillars, you use the toolsof you know, figuring things,
not figuring out, butidentifying these things, which
is the three H's, right?
Can you tell us about that andhow to identify it?
SPEAKER_00 (00:33):
Yeah.
So just going piggybacking off,you know, being trained as a
firefighter through the Navy.
When I was in eighth grade goingto high school, we went on our
very first vacation to as afamily, very first one to go
visit my dad's side of thefamily in Utah.
And right when we arrived, itwas a road trip, I believe it
was about a day and a half to Ican't remember the time frame of
(00:55):
the drive for my family.
My dad led the family trip.
When we arrived, literallypulling into the driveway of my
uncle's house, my dad's brother,we got a phone call from my
grandma, my mom's mom, that ourhouse burnt down.
Second house fire.
I remember seeing my mom and dadjust cry and hug, and I was old
(01:15):
enough, right, to reallyunderstand.
You know, I lost all my KenGriffey Jr.
rookie cards and like, you know,like all the clothes that I had
and what I have now is all Igot.
And they made a decision, let'sjust finish the vacation, go
back and face the music.
SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
So yeah, very tough.
SPEAKER_00 (01:30):
But as kids, smart move, we just enjoyed the
vacation, but kind of knew thisheaviness of like, what are we
going back to?
And so when we drove back toPeoria, Illinois, and we pulled
up to the house.
I remember just seeing a just tounderstand the context of the
fire, two neighborhood kids,good kids, they just were play
there, they had a habit ofplaying on our front porch with
(01:50):
my brother, my youngest brotherSean, and that was his friends,
and they were there.
We happened to have a gas tankfor our lawnmower and a mattress
we were getting ready to throwaway.
And they were playing withprobably some G.I.
Joe figures and and and lit themon fire.
They might have had a littlelighter or something, but it it
caught the mattress on fire.
They ran, thankfully, nobody gothurt.
But once I hit the gas can, itblew a hole straight through the
(02:12):
house.
And sec two-story house, youcould see from the porch
straight through in sunlight.
And then and then it was justmelting everything, but the
smoke damage just everything wasdone, complete damage.
It was everything was black.
I remember uh walking in withthe fire chief, with my my mom,
my dad, fire chief, and I forgetwho else was there, but we
walked through as a group to besafe, but to just kind of
(02:35):
recognize the damage and what wewent went through.
But while he was walking, and Iheard the other fire people
talking, they're looking for thewhere it started.
Yeah, where did the fire start?
So we didn't know at the time,they're still kind of
researching.
So, what they were looking for,and what I learned in the Navy
as a firefighter, you look forthese flashpoints.
That's let's just take a match,and it has that little tip in
(02:58):
the wood, and you look for asubstrate and you just rub it
across.
As soon as you see that thingignite, that's called a flash
point.
And so that flash point became atool for me to you know use to
try to find and identify wherethese things grow from, where
the fire grows from.
Because if you can identifywhere the fire starts, it will
eliminate the idea of there'sever gonna be smoke.
(03:20):
Yeah, you know, and so you know,we were walking through,
everything was black, just tokind of close the story on
walking through the house.
There was a picture on the wall.
We seen uh the piano in theliving room was melted, the TV
was halfway melted down, allblack.
Every little I remember walkingthrough and all the little
memories I have of my brothersplaying and eating lunch,
(03:42):
macaroni and you know, macaroniand cheese, and just the table
was black.
It was real funky, like whatthat does to you, right?
And so everything's black, andthen the fire chief is like,
Man, you guys aren't gonnabelieve this.
And I'm like, Oh man, what?
So you pull the whole familyover.
There was one picture on thewall that was untouched, like no
smoke, and it had like a smokering around it, real funky, but
(04:03):
it was like like it didn't touchit.
Like there is like a handprint,not literally a handprint, not
that specific, but likesomething blocked it, and it was
a picture of a a pelican withit's a it's a well-known picture
if you look it up on like uhGoogle, but it's a pelican
eating a frog's head, but thefrog, his head inside the
pelican's mouth, his hands waschoking the pelican.
(04:24):
And on the bottom it says, nevergive up.
And I remember seeing my momtear up.
I seen, you know, the even firechief saying, Man, I never seen
nothing like that, you know, andjust being encouraged, knowing
that even in the smoke, even inthe fire, God's right there,
man.
God's right there.
And that's what I wouldencourage anybody today, you
know, is watching this.
Like, you do have to start withhonesty.
(04:45):
Honesty is super important, butnumber two H is humility.
Humility kills pride.
Come on, humility kills ego,humility will listen to
misaligned effort, and humilitywill put light on where you need
to forgive.
(05:05):
You know, humility is the thesecret sauce.
You know, honesty is basicallyuncovers the food, but the
secret sauce, man, is humility.
Humility is the key.
And so now I'm looking on mylife and I'm looking at what are
the flash points on my derails?
You know what I mean?
Like, or am I even derailing?
(05:26):
Maybe I am on the right course,so I gotta really search these
things.
And I believe me personally,where I discovered one was not
letting go of the helm.
Like you get to a point whereyou're you're not a Michael
Jordan or Steph Curry, but youget to a point where you feel
like you have full control ofthe game.
You know what I mean?
You've learned enough, and andyou you're trusting your
(05:47):
entrepreneurial skills, you'retrusting how I'm doing things.
And there's a point where youtake your belief system of God
that he's going to come throughfor you based on your efforts.
And I've been there, I've beenthere where I wouldn't let go of
the helm.
And God was saying, let go, andI couldn't do it.
You know, it's like, no, no, youknow, I know, I know he's got
me.
And then I turned into a Jonah.
(06:08):
You know, a Jonah is, you know,it went through a path of
disobedience.
And it wasn't like adisobedience, like going into
sin.
It was a disobedience of notletting go of the helm, letting
go and control.
I'm gonna go my way.
Not like, you know, I'm stillthinking in my head I'm going
God, like I'm still serving Godby by going that way.
(06:28):
And why I say that is Jonahtruly believed Nineveh is
sinful.
SPEAKER_01 (06:32):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
So he believed they deserved wrath and not grace.
And so he went this way and hebelieved he was doing good.
Yeah, you know, and then herealized you know, God was still
chasing him.
And so in my life, in mybusiness, you know, I recognize,
you know, as a human, I had tobe honest about myself.
Like, am I really allowing Godto have the helm and I'm
(06:56):
serving, you know, and I startpaying attention.
Am I performing or am I serving?
Where's the heart?
Not the visual, but where's theheart?
You know, like getting up onstage and use I used to rap.
I used to get so super likeanxiety and nervous.
And this, you know, why isbecause I I was performing.
I wasn't I wasn't thinking myhead, that's good.
I I'm going up here to servepeople.
(07:18):
Who cares if I mess up?
You know what I mean?
But in my head, I didn't want tomess up.
So that's a performance tier,right?
That's like, and I used to getsuper anxiety and nervous
because I didn't want to messup.
I mean, it was as simple asthat.
That's simple.
Like, if I told you that on thesurface, like, oh, don't worry,
mate, you're gonna be cool.
You know what I mean?
But really, I was in aperformance category versus a
servant.
SPEAKER_01 (07:37):
Come on, that's that's gold.
You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00 (07:39):
So now, now I have to literally tell myself, how
can I serve today?
I'm getting on here on the mic.
Well, how can I serve today?
How can I serve you, right?
How can I serve the client?
How can I serve my wife?
Because performance level, man,that's all affirmation, man.
That's that's what's that'swhat's coming out of that.
It's like, are they gonna say,hey, you did a good job?
(08:01):
Hey, you didn't mess up, youknow, hey, you know, and so I
had to like really let go of thehelm of performance and and who
cares, you know, where it goesif you're serving.
Yeah, as long as you have theheart of serving, you're a full
vessel and open for God to moveand operate, right?
Yeah, and so the third H man isnot really an action item, but
(08:22):
it kind of is.
So once you go through honestyand you're just being honest,
letting that door open to reallydig in deep and be vulnerable,
even with yourself and look inthe mirror.
Am I do I really gotta brush mybeard?
You know, like really looking atyourself, and then you're humble
enough to say, Yes, I do need tobrush my beard, you know, or you
know, just have that humility tosay, I I I am here.
(08:44):
And now God can move in and nowyou can heal from these things,
right?
And healing, and why I put it asthe third like prong in the
three H's is because you can'tjust like discover, oh, I let go
of the helm.
Now, now I'm good.
There has to, you know what Imean?
Like there has to be a season ofallowing God to regroup you,
(09:07):
re-reconstruct you, and get youback on course.
It's not like like if you'regoing off course, you know, like
like uh Jonah, I mean, he wasgoing to Tarshish, which which
was 2,500 miles away from youknow where he was, and where God
was sending him was only 500miles.
He went that far left, man.
(09:28):
And so when he got into the thebig fish, got you know, got him
in there and then spit him out,it was a journey of healing
before he got to NinevehNineveh.
That was a far distance.
It wasn't like the fish swam allthe way to Nineveh and he didn't
just spit him out.
Maybe he did.
I gotta go check.
But I believe there's a journeyof walking and and healing and
understanding the mission andthe assignment, not the
(09:50):
performance or not the reasonyou think you're going.
And so going back to is thelight in you, if the light in
you is darkness, how deep isthat darkness?
I think it's very important,man, to check yourself.
Very important to checkyourself.
And I think, you know, when Iwas in uh the starting days of
ATN, all things new, ourconstruction company, what I
(10:14):
used to do was I would go toYelp, right?
And I would not study thecompetition based on their
five-star reviews.
I would go read all the one-starreviews.
I'd read them all.
I'd read them all.
And so my goal is, and what Iwould learn from those was I'd
(10:34):
want to set myself up knowingwhat not to do.
Right.
Right.
And so a lot of entrepreneurowners, a lot of coaches in in
this world, they want to giveyou the five steps of getting
rich and and getting out thereand get going.
But I'm I'm not like my approachis I want to show you what not
to do, or how to protect youfrom the fall, or how to battle
(10:56):
adversity.
And so I thought it's veryimportant to throw, you know,
these three pillars in thesethree, you know, categories and
the smoke being very importantto recognize like, hey, if I'm
gonna go down this lane andstrive for the assignment God
gave me, the builder of allthings, be sure to check these
one star reviews, you know, likeand know what not to do.
(11:18):
And so that's what these are,man.
With these three indicators, right?
Those pillars, you use the toolsof you know, figuring things,
not figuring out, butidentifying these things, which
is the three H's, right?
Can you tell us about that andhow to identify it?
SPEAKER_00 (00:33):
Yeah.
So just going piggybacking off,you know, being trained as a
firefighter through the Navy.
When I was in eighth grade goingto high school, we went on our
very first vacation to as afamily, very first one to go
visit my dad's side of thefamily in Utah.
And right when we arrived, itwas a road trip, I believe it
was about a day and a half to Ican't remember the time frame of
(00:55):
the drive for my family.
My dad led the family trip.
When we arrived, literallypulling into the driveway of my
uncle's house, my dad's brother,we got a phone call from my
grandma, my mom's mom, that ourhouse burnt down.
Second house fire.
I remember seeing my mom and dadjust cry and hug, and I was old
(01:15):
enough, right, to reallyunderstand.
You know, I lost all my KenGriffey Jr.
rookie cards and like, you know,like all the clothes that I had
and what I have now is all Igot.
And they made a decision, let'sjust finish the vacation, go
back and face the music.
SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
So yeah, very tough.
SPEAKER_00 (01:30):
But as kids, smart move, we just enjoyed the
vacation, but kind of knew thisheaviness of like, what are we
going back to?
And so when we drove back toPeoria, Illinois, and we pulled
up to the house.
I remember just seeing a just tounderstand the context of the
fire, two neighborhood kids,good kids, they just were play
there, they had a habit ofplaying on our front porch with
(01:50):
my brother, my youngest brotherSean, and that was his friends,
and they were there.
We happened to have a gas tankfor our lawnmower and a mattress
we were getting ready to throwaway.
And they were playing withprobably some G.I.
Joe figures and and and lit themon fire.
They might have had a littlelighter or something, but it it
caught the mattress on fire.
They ran, thankfully, nobody gothurt.
But once I hit the gas can, itblew a hole straight through the
(02:12):
house.
And sec two-story house, youcould see from the porch
straight through in sunlight.
And then and then it was justmelting everything, but the
smoke damage just everything wasdone, complete damage.
It was everything was black.
I remember uh walking in withthe fire chief, with my my mom,
my dad, fire chief, and I forgetwho else was there, but we
walked through as a group to besafe, but to just kind of
(02:35):
recognize the damage and what wewent went through.
But while he was walking, and Iheard the other fire people
talking, they're looking for thewhere it started.
Yeah, where did the fire start?
So we didn't know at the time,they're still kind of
researching.
So, what they were looking for,and what I learned in the Navy
as a firefighter, you look forthese flashpoints.
That's let's just take a match,and it has that little tip in
(02:58):
the wood, and you look for asubstrate and you just rub it
across.
As soon as you see that thingignite, that's called a flash
point.
And so that flash point became atool for me to you know use to
try to find and identify wherethese things grow from, where
the fire grows from.
Because if you can identifywhere the fire starts, it will
eliminate the idea of there'sever gonna be smoke.
(03:20):
Yeah, you know, and so you know,we were walking through,
everything was black, just tokind of close the story on
walking through the house.
There was a picture on the wall.
We seen uh the piano in theliving room was melted, the TV
was halfway melted down, allblack.
Every little I remember walkingthrough and all the little
memories I have of my brothersplaying and eating lunch,
(03:42):
macaroni and you know, macaroniand cheese, and just the table
was black.
It was real funky, like whatthat does to you, right?
And so everything's black, andthen the fire chief is like,
Man, you guys aren't gonnabelieve this.
And I'm like, Oh man, what?
So you pull the whole familyover.
There was one picture on thewall that was untouched, like no
smoke, and it had like a smokering around it, real funky, but
(04:03):
it was like like it didn't touchit.
Like there is like a handprint,not literally a handprint, not
that specific, but likesomething blocked it, and it was
a picture of a a pelican withit's a it's a well-known picture
if you look it up on like uhGoogle, but it's a pelican
eating a frog's head, but thefrog, his head inside the
pelican's mouth, his hands waschoking the pelican.
(04:24):
And on the bottom it says, nevergive up.
And I remember seeing my momtear up.
I seen, you know, the even firechief saying, Man, I never seen
nothing like that, you know, andjust being encouraged, knowing
that even in the smoke, even inthe fire, God's right there,
man.
God's right there.
And that's what I wouldencourage anybody today, you
know, is watching this.
Like, you do have to start withhonesty.
(04:45):
Honesty is super important, butnumber two H is humility.
Humility kills pride.
Come on, humility kills ego,humility will listen to
misaligned effort, and humilitywill put light on where you need
to forgive.
(05:05):
You know, humility is the thesecret sauce.
You know, honesty is basicallyuncovers the food, but the
secret sauce, man, is humility.
Humility is the key.
And so now I'm looking on mylife and I'm looking at what are
the flash points on my derails?
You know what I mean?
Like, or am I even derailing?
(05:26):
Maybe I am on the right course,so I gotta really search these
things.
And I believe me personally,where I discovered one was not
letting go of the helm.
Like you get to a point whereyou're you're not a Michael
Jordan or Steph Curry, but youget to a point where you feel
like you have full control ofthe game.
You know what I mean?
You've learned enough, and andyou you're trusting your
(05:47):
entrepreneurial skills, you'retrusting how I'm doing things.
And there's a point where youtake your belief system of God
that he's going to come throughfor you based on your efforts.
And I've been there, I've beenthere where I wouldn't let go of
the helm.
And God was saying, let go, andI couldn't do it.
You know, it's like, no, no, youknow, I know, I know he's got
me.
And then I turned into a Jonah.
(06:08):
You know, a Jonah is, you know,it went through a path of
disobedience.
And it wasn't like adisobedience, like going into
sin.
It was a disobedience of notletting go of the helm, letting
go and control.
I'm gonna go my way.
Not like, you know, I'm stillthinking in my head I'm going
God, like I'm still serving Godby by going that way.
(06:28):
And why I say that is Jonahtruly believed Nineveh is
sinful.
SPEAKER_01 (06:32):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
So he believed they deserved wrath and not grace.
And so he went this way and hebelieved he was doing good.
Yeah, you know, and then herealized you know, God was still
chasing him.
And so in my life, in mybusiness, you know, I recognize,
you know, as a human, I had tobe honest about myself.
Like, am I really allowing Godto have the helm and I'm
(06:56):
serving, you know, and I startpaying attention.
Am I performing or am I serving?
Where's the heart?
Not the visual, but where's theheart?
You know, like getting up onstage and use I used to rap.
I used to get so super likeanxiety and nervous.
And this, you know, why isbecause I I was performing.
I wasn't I wasn't thinking myhead, that's good.
I I'm going up here to servepeople.
(07:18):
Who cares if I mess up?
You know what I mean?
But in my head, I didn't want tomess up.
So that's a performance tier,right?
That's like, and I used to getsuper anxiety and nervous
because I didn't want to messup.
I mean, it was as simple asthat.
That's simple.
Like, if I told you that on thesurface, like, oh, don't worry,
mate, you're gonna be cool.
You know what I mean?
But really, I was in aperformance category versus a
servant.
SPEAKER_01 (07:37):
Come on, that's that's gold.
You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00 (07:39):
So now, now I have to literally tell myself, how
can I serve today?
I'm getting on here on the mic.
Well, how can I serve today?
How can I serve you, right?
How can I serve the client?
How can I serve my wife?
Because performance level, man,that's all affirmation, man.
That's that's what's that'swhat's coming out of that.
It's like, are they gonna say,hey, you did a good job?
(08:01):
Hey, you didn't mess up, youknow, hey, you know, and so I
had to like really let go of thehelm of performance and and who
cares, you know, where it goesif you're serving.
Yeah, as long as you have theheart of serving, you're a full
vessel and open for God to moveand operate, right?
Yeah, and so the third H man isnot really an action item, but
(08:22):
it kind of is.
So once you go through honestyand you're just being honest,
letting that door open to reallydig in deep and be vulnerable,
even with yourself and look inthe mirror.
Am I do I really gotta brush mybeard?
You know, like really looking atyourself, and then you're humble
enough to say, Yes, I do need tobrush my beard, you know, or you
know, just have that humility tosay, I I I am here.
(08:44):
And now God can move in and nowyou can heal from these things,
right?
And healing, and why I put it asthe third like prong in the
three H's is because you can'tjust like discover, oh, I let go
of the helm.
Now, now I'm good.
There has to, you know what Imean?
Like there has to be a season ofallowing God to regroup you,
(09:07):
re-reconstruct you, and get youback on course.
It's not like like if you'regoing off course, you know, like
like uh Jonah, I mean, he wasgoing to Tarshish, which which
was 2,500 miles away from youknow where he was, and where God
was sending him was only 500miles.
He went that far left, man.
(09:28):
And so when he got into the thebig fish, got you know, got him
in there and then spit him out,it was a journey of healing
before he got to NinevehNineveh.
That was a far distance.
It wasn't like the fish swam allthe way to Nineveh and he didn't
just spit him out.
Maybe he did.
I gotta go check.
But I believe there's a journeyof walking and and healing and
understanding the mission andthe assignment, not the
(09:50):
performance or not the reasonyou think you're going.
And so going back to is thelight in you, if the light in
you is darkness, how deep isthat darkness?
I think it's very important,man, to check yourself.
Very important to checkyourself.
And I think, you know, when Iwas in uh the starting days of
ATN, all things new, ourconstruction company, what I
(10:14):
used to do was I would go toYelp, right?
And I would not study thecompetition based on their
five-star reviews.
I would go read all the one-starreviews.
I'd read them all.
I'd read them all.
And so my goal is, and what Iwould learn from those was I'd
(10:34):
want to set myself up knowingwhat not to do.
Right.
Right.
And so a lot of entrepreneurowners, a lot of coaches in in
this world, they want to giveyou the five steps of getting
rich and and getting out thereand get going.
But I'm I'm not like my approachis I want to show you what not
to do, or how to protect youfrom the fall, or how to battle
(10:56):
adversity.
And so I thought it's veryimportant to throw, you know,
these three pillars in thesethree, you know, categories and
the smoke being very importantto recognize like, hey, if I'm
gonna go down this lane andstrive for the assignment God
gave me, the builder of allthings, be sure to check these
one star reviews, you know, likeand know what not to do.
(11:18):
And so that's what these are,man.
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