December 14, 2024 • 46 mins
Instead of joy-filled celebrations, many holidays we observe become stress-filled, money-draining, joyless days. On this Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, author and professor at Moody Theological Seminary, Dr. Bill Thrasher offers practical suggestions on how to give God his rightful place at Christmas and other holidays. Some encouragement for you and your family is coming up on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman.
Featured resource: PUTTING GOD BACK IN THE HOLIDAYS: CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, THANKSGIVING, EASTER, BIRTHDAYS, AND 12 OTHER SPECIAL OCCASIONS WITH PURPOSE
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Episode Transcript
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S1 (00:00):
Today on building relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman.
S2 (00:04):
I entered the holidays with some very unconscious expectations. I
sort of resented some of the demands of the holiday.
I'd like to put God back in the holidays, but
others have a different agenda. Whatever. Being content with your
role and being light in a dark place, even sometimes
being around ones that maybe can't fully appreciate you, fully
understand you, there is a battle in regard to this
(00:25):
time of year.
S1 (00:30):
Welcome to building relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman, author of
the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages. Today,
as we head toward Christmas and New Year's, we have
a program that will help you keep God at the
center of your celebrations.
S3 (00:45):
And on today's program, we're going to have a practical,
spiritual discussion that's going to help you not just get
through the holidays, but enhance your relationships as you navigate
what's ahead. Doctor Bill Thrasher is going to join us today.
He's the author co-author of Putting God Back in the
Holidays now. The book deals with the whole year, with
(01:05):
holidays throughout the year. But for the purpose of this conversation,
we're going to focus on Christmas and New Year's. And, Gary,
I know this is one of your favorite times of
the year, but it can also be stressful on relationships.
S4 (01:19):
Well, it can be, Chris, you know, thinking about all
the food we've got to cook and all the places
we've got to find for relatives to stay when they
come in. And, you know, those logistic things can really
be kind of overpowering sometimes. And then, of course, you know,
many families have an Uncle Claude, you know, who you
got to put up with. And you know, he's going
to be here and you've got to figure out, well,
(01:41):
how are we going to, you know, treat him and
let's be nice to him and we'll listen to his
stories and all kind of things, all kind of things
related to the holidays. So I'm glad that today we're
going to discuss how to make the holidays Christian. I mean,
you know. Yes. So this this will be a good discussion.
I'm excited about it.
S3 (02:00):
And I'm trying I'm still trying not to be Uncle Claude,
but I think I've become. Let's meet our guest. Doctor
Bill Thrasher is a beloved professor at Moody Bible Institute.
He's been teaching for 45 years. He is a graduate
professor of Bible and theology at Moody Theological Seminary, frequent
speaker for churches and retreats around the country. He's the
(02:23):
author of a number of books, including Believing God for
His Best A Journey to Victorious, Praying, and Living the
Life God Has Planned that our featured resource today is
written by Doctor Thrasher and his wife, Penny. It's titled
Putting God Back in the holidays. You can find out
more at Building relationships.us.
S4 (02:42):
Well, Doctor Thrasher, welcome back to Building Relationships. Well, I'm.
S2 (02:45):
Honored to be back with you. I love you too,
and so very grateful for all you've done for the
Lord's work and for Moody. It's honor to be to
know you.
S4 (02:53):
Well, you have had a long career of teaching both
undergraduate and graduate students at Moody. Uh, it must be
rewarding if this happens, that students actually come back from
time to time and return and reach out to you
and let you know what your teaching is meant to them. Uh,
have you had those kind of experiences?
S2 (03:13):
You know, that has been one of the greatest gifts
that God has given me. Yes. Uh, just thinking. This
past summer, my wife and I, we traveled to Manila, uh,
a student that I had over over 40 years ago.
And he's been a missionary for 40 years. And I
did a mission conference there for 100 Christian missionaries all
over East Asia. And that was one of the highlights
(03:33):
of my life. And and that was dear Tom. Tom
was a very skilled carpenter when he came and, you know,
doing high end work. And he began to work in
his church and be involved in evangelism. And since God's
driving him to the mission field. So he was headed
there and someone says, well, you know, he probably ought
to get some training. And he says, where should I go?
And he said, Moody Bible Institute. So he went to
Moody Bible Institute and he said, I guess I'm supposed
(03:54):
to apply. They said, have you ever taken the SATs?
I don't know what the S.A.T. is. So. But anyhow,
he came in, and even when he was an undergraduate student,
he began, he enrolled with. Then it was called a
different name. Now it's called Crestar. But he began connecting
with students there and in the churches in the 80s.
He said, do you have people that are friends of
the mission? And yeah, we do. And so he began
(04:16):
just doing Muslim awareness seminars in the 80s. It wasn't
quite we weren't quite as aware of that. And he's
been a faithful, faithful. So that's just one. I'm privileged
to have students and even now have the sons and
daughters of former students, and it is a great blessing.
Sometimes they give me credit for more than I deserve,
but truth matter, they were pretty amazing people when they
(04:36):
came and God did a work in their life, and
maybe I didn't mess them up. So. But it's a
great joy to to have been a part of that.
And I'm grateful now in these, these years, my wife
comes with me to school and she sits in the
class and and that's a huge help to my students
as she shows interest and love and encouragement and prayers.
And so anyhow, that's a it's a good area we're
(04:58):
in right now.
S4 (04:59):
Yeah. Well, I'm sitting here thinking about some of my
professors at Moody when I was there back in the
dark ages. And I'm asking myself, did I ever express
appreciation to them? Doctor Kenneth Weast I had for Greek. Yes.
And Doctor Harold Gardner and Christian education. Yes. And I
think there's a lot of students that that really don't
(05:22):
reach back, you know, to say to professors along the
way how much they appreciate them. But, uh, it's nice
when they do. But as you said, what's really rewarding
is when you see how God is using those students
around the world.
S2 (05:33):
Amen. Amen. And I'm sure that's a reward to see
how God is using you. You know, I, uh, maybe
this is a well known fact, but I didn't know
it till you spoke in chapel a number of years ago.
That no one would publish your first book. You had
to self-publish it.
S4 (05:47):
That's right. And it was before. Before self-publishing existed, I
literally self-published it.
S5 (05:54):
Wow.
S4 (05:55):
Wow. Well, for you, we're our topic today. What does
it mean to put God back into the holidays? And
how do you keep Christ central during this time of year?
S2 (06:07):
Well, you know it to some degree. That goes back
to the to the why I wrote the book and
and my dear wife helped. But it was it's this
way back when, when I was a student, years ago,
I noticed that the holiday time. Like I said, if
you charted my spiritual life, the holidays would have been
a valley, not a peak. As far as time of
(06:28):
really being vibrantly alert to the Lord. And so I
just sense a special battle around the holidays. Part of
it was because I would be going from being very
busy and then sort of having a break and and
so I remember when I sensed God calling me into
teaching and ministry, and I remember keeping a list of
what I wanted to do if God ever opened that door.
(06:48):
And one of the things was prepare my students for
the holidays for the last 45 years, this would be
the last class during the fall semester. I do talk
about preparing yourself spiritually for the holidays, so I do
that out of sensing my own need. And I've not
only shared that with students, but also many, many other
people and whatever. And people come to the holidays from
many different backgrounds, you know, from a strong Christian heritage
(07:11):
to a heritage that's hostile or indifferent, or from a
strong marriage to a difficult marriage, to never marry, to
a new marriage and divorce and all of those things,
and maybe a parent and a single parent, but so
but whatever the situation is, you know, our faith is attacked.
And I came to find out about your faith I
read today in Thessalonians. He says, lest the tempter having
(07:34):
tempted you. First Thessalonians three five so you see, he
attacks our faith. And I think, But God wants to
strengthen our faith, that word be strong in the Lord
and the strength of his might. That same Greek word
is used in Romans four that Abraham was strengthened to believe.
So I want individuals just to be strengthened to believe God.
Christ left heaven to come to earth in this broken
(07:56):
world that was fallen and rebellious against him, to enter
into the world. And he wants to enter into your holidays.
They may be the most joyous days of your life.
You may have a great community of faith, or you
may be the only person there that's crying out to God,
but he wants to enter in and to communicate his comfort,
his love, his encouragement, his hope, and to know that
you're not alone. And so that's what I desire. I
(08:18):
desire that for whoever. Whatever your situation is, we want
to believe God for that. Yeah, I've charted this. Why
is there such a battle? I've got. I've noted five
reasons there is such a battle. And I'm sure you
could maybe alert to others as well. But part of
it is you look at all the holidays. There is
a spiritual significance of them, even though we've greatly secularized
(08:38):
them in our culture. But but even when everybody doesn't
want to say Merry Christmas. I want to say Happy holidays.
There is a focus on Christ during this particular time,
and Satan hates Christ. And certainly you would expect him
to attack people who truly represent him, even people whom
all people whom Christ has created. And so it's no, statistically,
(09:00):
there are more suicides and more depression and all that stuff.
That's part of the battle. But also now maybe not
everybody because, you know, Gary says it's the most joyous
time for him. And I want it to be in
his become that for me. But, you know, I usually
enter this time of year very tired and very depleted.
I finished up a semester, I'm preparing for a new one.
And I think you're always more vulnerable when you're tired
(09:20):
and depleted. And I don't think my situation is that unusual.
I think others have told me that at this time
of year seems to just exalt an unattainable ideal. I
remember we were doing some caregiving for my precious mother
in law, who is with the Lord now, and it was.
I think it was it was right around Christmas Eve
(09:41):
or close to it. And and she required 24 hour care.
We covered those things and with some help from brother
and sister in law and a few other people, and
sometimes we hired a service called More Than Family. And
this dear lady had done one shift, and I was
talking to that lady before she was going to leave.
And I said, you know, I told her what I was,
you know, I said, well, that was my last day
(10:03):
of my class for the semester. And I've talked about
preparing spiritually for the holidays. I said, holidays can be hard.
She says, oh, can it be hard? She says, I
was preparing supper years ago for my extended family, and
I saw my husband's phone go off. And so I
went in there. I wanted to get his call, and
that's when I discovered an affair he'd been in for
(10:23):
many years that ultimately ended our marriage. And she says, oh,
it's a very hard time before she left, says, you're
not leaving. You're having supper with us. And she spent
the evening with us. Now, even sometimes the painful memories,
sometimes just unfulfilled Dreams, any kind of brokenness in our life,
you know? For me, I think part of my struggle
(10:44):
was this took me a while to realize this, that
I entered the holidays with some very unconscious expectations. You know,
my unconscious expectation was I deserve a break. I sort
of resented some of the demands of the of the holiday.
I think other people have told me, you say, boy,
I like this idea of putting God back in the holidays,
but he or she said, I'm not in control of
(11:06):
my holidays. I'd like to put God back in the holidays,
but others have a different agenda or whatever. So, you know,
being content with your role and being light in a
dark place, even sometimes being around ones that maybe can't
fully appreciate you or fully understand you, that's a challenge.
So those are some of the reasons that there is
a battle in regard to this time of year.
S4 (11:25):
Well, Doctor Thrasher, we've just come through a contentious election
season and all the divisions that we've heard about in
our country, just a real political divide. Do you think
the message of Christmas can help bring people together.
S2 (11:40):
Well, I think if the true message is is digested,
it certainly can. It's unifying. It's a message of hope.
It's a message of of love. God putting his love
upon us when we were his enemies and helpless and
indifferent and unquestionably, you know, it's a time of great
time where God wants to restore us. It's a time
(12:00):
of joy. Joy is a slippery concept in Scripture, but
the key to joy is when you and God are
in harmony. You can be joyful. That's why Jesus was
said to be the most joyous person who ever lived.
Hebrews one nine that was love, righteousness, and hated lawlessness.
Therefore God has anointed you with the oil of joy
above all your companions. So he came to restore us
and unite us to him. Anytime we're focused on something
(12:22):
outside of ourselves together that brings real unity, let us
exalt his name together. So I'm praying it will be.
I pray that God we will see an unprecedented harvest
of souls. I mean, I'm here because of the incredible
revival that was happening in the 70s. I'm not sure
we really fully realized it, but that was when I
was in college and and there was just a stream
(12:44):
of people going into the Lord's work. Campus ministries were.
And that not that God has not worked since, but
it was a very incredible time that God worked there.
And so I'm praying for a great harvest of souls
in this time. It's dark, it's challenging. You're all right.
We've gone through a difficult season, but we just cry
to God for him to pour out His Spirit upon
(13:04):
us and and do an unprecedented work here in our land.
S4 (13:08):
Well, that's my hope to God loved us while we
were sinners.
S5 (13:12):
Amen.
S4 (13:12):
And so we must love people even though we disagree
with them on a whole lot of stuff. But we're
the ones that will be reaching out to love them,
you know? Love your enemies. Jesus said so, right? Wow, wow. Well,
you were single for many years before you married and
had children. How did you approach the holidays as a
single person and what advice would you give for singles today?
(13:36):
Who are listening to us?
S2 (13:37):
Well, you know, I was married at age 36. And
so I will say, you know, God gave great grace
as I threw myself into the ministry God called me to,
and I felt his calling on me on that time
was to be single. There was a great contentment, but
holidays were a harder time. I think there in the
holiday time. I think your singleness is sort of accentuated.
(13:58):
I think you have to be prayed up that not
to be vulnerable to some lies. I mean the the
lie that can say, hey, if you're not paired off
on a particular day of the year, maybe is something
wrong with you? Are you as special as God really
says you are? I think you can even be vulnerable
to start a wrong relationship. I would keep a list
of things that God esteemed in a woman scripturally, just
(14:20):
to keep my eyes on what God esteemed. As I
waited on God for his timing, spending time with him
and letting him affirm listening to him, and they say
the greatest influence about what we think about ourselves is
as what we our perception of what the most important
person in our life thinks about us. So when God
wants you, let him erect himself as the most important
input and listen to him. The devil is cruel. I
(14:42):
think also as a single Christmas he came not to
be served, but to serve and give his life a
ransom to many. This is the principle of sowing and
reaping was a big help to me in when I
saw that, uh, I would just say, okay, when you
feel like you need encouragement, you need so it give it.
I would keep a people like a list of people
that I could just give a call to that I
(15:02):
think would appreciate a call or whatever, and it'll come back.
I mean, it's just like plant a crop of kindness
and it'll it'll come back. Not in the way you
think it will, but it'll it'll come back. Maybe not
in the timing. You think it will, but it'll come back.
So it is a challenge. Sometimes in the church things
are are very family oriented and we praise God for that.
I thank God for some key families that were a
tremendous help to me during my single years. I taught
(15:24):
here almost nine years, eight and a half years single,
and those were very, very precious time and my wife
and I, we esteem singles. There was a time that
we ran a family class at our church, and we
did all our socials with the singles groups so they
can be a great help to us and and we
came to them. In fact, we still have some very,
very close friends that are single that have never married.
S4 (15:47):
You mentioned that whole concept of serving as following the
example of Christ. Uh, the holidays often give us more
opportunities for singles to be involved in serving, right? And
in various situations. Absolutely.
S2 (16:02):
I think that's one of the ways I think we
can be prayed up in regard to making the use
of this of this season.
S4 (16:08):
What are some practical ways that families can center their
Christmas celebrations around Christ rather than just, you know, festive activities?
S2 (16:17):
This is maybe the longest answer, and it relates to
a particular passage of Scripture. The familiar Mary Martha story
has become one of my favorite Christmas texts, text. I
know there's really nothing about Christmas there, but it sure
sounds like Christmas when it says Martha was distracted with
all her preparations. To me, that's Luke 1040. That sounds
(16:38):
like Christmas. But the thing Martha did right. We usually
don't talk about what she did right, but what she
did right. She welcomed Christ into her home. That's a
strong word. Just used three other times it's used of
Zacchaeus welcoming Christ into his home and Jason welcoming the
Christians in his home in acts 17, and even Rahab
welcoming the the messengers in her home. That passage was
(17:00):
the origin of a tradition that God gave me the
idea for. And we've instituted in our home to have
a special meal at the beginning of the holidays, um,
usually at the beginning of December. Now we of course,
our boys are grown now, so getting it scheduled is
not as easy as it once was. But we have
a special meal, have our finest China there, and we
have an empty place setting for Jesus, and we welcome
(17:22):
him to the holidays. And even my boys were very small,
but we would just talk to Jesus as if he
was at the table, because he is at the table
and he's at every table, but in a special way.
Just talk to him about our plans and say, Lord,
we want you to be in the midst of this.
Is there anything you want us to change? And maybe
are there ideas that we haven't thought about? But we
talked to him and we dedicate those holidays to the Lord. Um,
(17:44):
I remember the time that it was going to be
the first Christmas that we didn't have. My wife's father,
my son's grandfather, my father in law with us. And
I felt like there at that table, God gave us
an idea that said, let's just let's address the elephant
in the room. He's not going to be there. But
let's talk about give our favorite grandfather memories or whatever.
And that was a special time. So welcoming. Christ. See,
(18:05):
Martha is rebuked not because she's serving. Somebody needs to serve.
You talked about all the things that need to be
done during the Christmas holiday, but they're in verse 40.
It says she was distracted with all her preparations. She
was worried, and she was troubled and bothered about so
many things. And I think that's the way the the
devil works. He says in one Corinthians 11 three, it says,
(18:26):
he leads us astray from the simplicity and purity of
devotion to Christ. So that's for what she's rebuked. Now,
why is she rebuked? I would want a person to realize, hey,
God loves you in your most distracted moment, your most
worried moment. You're there. Be hope for none of us
or the most trouble moment. Why he does. He loves
us so much. He hasn't sent us, us to live
(18:47):
that way. You see in that verse 40, what it
leads to, it leads to doubting his care. Lord, don't
you care that my sister, she begins to criticize Mary?
She's left me to do all the serving alone. It
makes you doubt and be critical, and also feel alone
and abandoned. And the worst thing in verse 40, you
(19:07):
begin to have a demanding spirit toward Christ. Notice how
she talks to Jesus. Tell her to help me. Uh,
Martha did right. She invited Jesus to her home, but
she did not enjoy the visit. And I think a
lot of people don't enjoy Jesus's birthday earlier years when
you know we would have our little Christmas. They would
go over to my in-laws house and the other relatives
(19:29):
were there. Whatever. We had to so rush to get there.
We said, hey, this is not right. We want to
enjoy both. So we put a different day on the
calendar earlier. We're not going to answer calls. We're not
going to just going to be off and just really
relax and enjoy. And so that was a help. Even
when we knew whom we were going to have to
host or whatever, let's say let's let's be relaxed as
(19:52):
we host. But we needed to have our Christmas at
a different day. So that's part of whatever, whatever you
have to do to take that hurry. In the rush,
Mary is commended not because she's lazy and not because
she's not helping. It seemed to imply in the scripture
that she had helped earlier, but she's a picture of
abiding in the Lord, and she's attentive to him, devoted
(20:12):
to him, sit at his feet, willing to do anything
he would ask her to do. But he says she
chose the good part that will not be taken away
from her. It leads to eternal fruit. You know, the
thematic placement of this particular passage, it's not chronologically related
to what's before and afterwards, but I think it's thematically
related before it is the story of the Good Samaritan
that that story of spontaneous compassion, that one of them
(20:35):
and the other is the teaching on prayer. I think
that hurried spirit, we can't see anything. We're just in
a survival mode. You can't see the spontaneous compassion, and
it certainly destroys the spirit of prayer. So I think
there's great fruit in listening to the Lord's rebuke. He
loves us. He cares about us. And it's a work
of God to be able to enjoy this holiday, especially,
(20:56):
quite frankly, the one who is the host or the hostess.
It's it's a it's a greater challenge to have that
relaxed attitude. I like the diligent, diligent Christian worker of
the past, John Wesley. He said, although I'm always in haste,
I'm never in a hurry. I never do more than
I can do except with perfect calmness of spirit. I said, Lord,
that's a that's a diligence that I didn't grow up with.
(21:18):
I grew up with diligence because I had a diligent mother,
but not that kind of diligence.
S5 (21:22):
Yeah. Yeah.
S4 (21:24):
Oh, well, those are good words. I think that, you know,
I like the idea of starting earlier in the, in December, like,
you know, and do some things leading up to it. Yeah. Well,
you know, Christmas of course, is a time of gift giving.
But how can Christians approach the giving of gifts in
a way that reflects the love of Christ and not just,
(21:46):
you know, materialism?
S5 (21:47):
Well, when.
S2 (21:49):
We realize, okay, whose birthday we're celebrating, that dawned on me. Well,
should we be giving a gift to Jesus? And so
now I'm not a great gift giver either. You know,
my wife is. I'm not. And I'm too practical. Even
as a boy, I didn't like to get a gift
that I felt like I really didn't need. You know,
I just, you know, it was just the waste. I mean,
the idea this has been a tradition we've done is
(22:12):
the idea. Everybody announces what gift they're giving to Jesus
that year. And we'll write it down and I'll rehearse,
tell them, tell them about what they've done in the
last year. You know, that meant so much of my
boys were growing up, and one member one year says,
I want to give the gift to Jesus. I want
to make a greater investment in my younger brother. Or
I remember my wife saying, I want to put more
music in our home or whatever. Well, that's been the highlight.
(22:34):
Now I've expanded it to not only talk about the
gift you're giving Jesus, but also what gift. As you
look back on this past year that Jesus has given you,
are you especially grateful for even also expanded? What gift
has Jesus given you that you see in the family
members that are with you today and that you'd just
like to verbalize, thanking them for the gift of God
you see in their life. And then also, fourthly, they
(22:57):
don't have to answer all of these, but the idea
of what gift are you trusting God for for this
next year? So, you know, putting that in there, have
the story there in the book about the white envelope
that you've probably heard. It's a well known story. The
but there was a, a family that she knew her
husband hated Christmas. Not the true meaning of Christmas. But
he hated the hurry, the rush, the running around to
(23:17):
maybe get a gift just to get it. But it
didn't really need it. And so what she did, her
son had gone to a had a wrestling match with
an inner city school and and they didn't have enough
money to even have the headgear, the wrestling headgear. And
what she did, she went out to a sporting goods
store and she bought that headgear, made a donation to
that school, and she put a white envelope on the
on the Christmas tree, and he opened it and she
(23:41):
informed him what she had done. And that was the
he says his bright smile was the highlight of that year.
And every year she would do that. And the kids,
even though they would have toys, they couldn't wait for
the white envelope. And one year when you know, he
was no longer with him, it was, she said, it
was so hard to get ready for Christmas. Oh my goodness,
we missed him so much. And but then when they
got to the cry and said, when they got to
(24:03):
the Christmas Day, there weren't one white envelope. There were
several white envelopes. Everybody had put a white envelope in
honor of their father so that that that.
S5 (24:12):
Is.
S2 (24:12):
The origin of our little thing. We don't have the
white envelope, but just what gift we're giving. Jesus.
S4 (24:17):
Oh, yeah. That's great.
S1 (24:25):
This is the Building Relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman podcast.
Thanks for listening and for telling others about our conversations.
When you go to five Love languages.com, you can find
more ways to strengthen your relationships. Just click the resources
tab and you'll find the podcast there and today's featured
resource again go to five Love languages.com.
S4 (24:51):
Doctor Asher, before we took our break, we were talking
about gift giving and how to honor Christ in that.
You know, I remember several years ago I said to
our church, and I don't know, this just kind of
came to me. It was our missions offering. We're taking
a missions offering in December. What if we give our
largest gift to the missions offering. Give it to God
(25:12):
for missions.
S5 (25:13):
Mhm.
S4 (25:14):
And that year we went from the previous year our
church gave 250,000. That year we gave 500,000. Wow.
S5 (25:21):
Wow. Wow. That's beautiful.
S4 (25:23):
And our pastors kind of picked up on that and
followed that through the years. You know, we're up to
a million now.
S5 (25:28):
Wow. Wow.
S4 (25:30):
So that's another thought for putting Christ, you know, at
the heart of Christmas.
S5 (25:35):
Amen.
S4 (25:36):
Now, in what ways can the church community serve those
who are in need during the Christmas season? And we
know that that that's a real, you know, segment of
our society today. And and how does that embody the
love of Jesus?
S2 (25:51):
You know, when sometimes even when we think about, you know,
what gift we're giving to Jesus, sometimes God may give
us an idea that we need other people to help. Now,
we've done this a few times during Christmas season as
an expanded family, you know, extended family. We visited a
nursing home on Christmas Day. People that are in a
nursing home on Christmas Day are really alone, or else
(26:12):
somebody would have taken them somewhere, you know? What are
the good works that God has caused us to walk
in during these holiday times? And I believe if God
gives an idea and God's in it, God will give
the people a want to motivation to do it. And
thank God for that idea about that mission project or whatever.
That's that's extremely and it seemed like that's continued to
go on. So we praise God for that.
S5 (26:33):
Yeah.
S4 (26:34):
What do you think is the most important goal for
for Christmas?
S2 (26:39):
Well, I think the first thing to trust God for
our Lord during these holidays. Lord, I'm asking you for this.
I ask you to enhance my relationship with Christ. If
that happens, you've had a successful holiday. You know what
God said to the ancient king? As long as he
sought the Lord, God prospered him. God, send things into
your life that encourage you to to seek him. You
(27:00):
don't seek him in a vacuum. I sought the Lord,
and he delivered me from my fears. There's fear that
causes us to seek him. You don't cast all your
cares upon him. God entrust us with cares. So. Trusting
God to enhance your relationship with him. And sometimes difficulties
will be involved because some of his good gifts come
in strange packages. Um, I said, it's not often in
(27:21):
a prayer meeting that a person will pray, oh, God,
would you give me the good gift of loneliness tonight?
But if if loneliness causes you to seek the companionship
of Christ, it's a good gift. Mhm.
S4 (27:32):
Yeah. You know there there is positive results from the
hand of God when we use Christmas to celebrate the
coming of Christ. Right.
S2 (27:43):
Amen. Amen.
S4 (27:45):
Now you have five key prayers for us as we
enter the Christmas season. Can you share those with us?
S2 (27:52):
Be glad to. I need them and I pray them,
and I share them with my students. I share them
with groups, them. And the first one is what I've said.
Go into it actively asking God to enhance your relationship
with Christ. That's your that's your goal. If that happens,
you've had a wonderful holiday. I'd say, secondly, ask God
to rest you and refresh you. That is a work
(28:14):
of God in Psalm 23, which so many people know,
but it says it's a causative stem. He causes us
to lie down in green pastures, makes us lie down
beside the still waters. In other words, I'm a sheep.
And I used to think, well, boy, give me some
time off. That's the way I looked at it. And
just I can take care of that. Truth of the
matter is, you can't. You could sleep till noon every
day and not necessarily be rested and refreshed. If you
(28:36):
have some unresolved things in your heart, it's God who
what knows how to rest and refresh you. And I
think you see that in our precious Lord's life. He
got up a great while before day. He was went
to a lonely place and was praying there. And praying
is not used primarily for intercessions for others, but for
the outpouring of his own soul to find refreshment from
his heavenly Father. So even Jesus, as the God man,
(28:57):
did have emotional limitations and had to get refueled. So
trust him to rest you and refresh you. And sometimes
he can do that in strange ways. There there are
times that I'd say, boy, I just need to to
get away. And I'm not able to get away because
I have responsibilities. But God, sometimes right in the midst
of it, he can do it and think about a
single parent. Sometimes they never can get away, but somehow
(29:18):
God knows how to rest him and refresh him also.
I'd say ask God to show you how he wants
you to be a vessel of love. Let God fill
in the blank to to family, to friends or ones
in need and included. That would be the gift that
he wants you to to give to Jesus that year.
Another is to trust God to keep a measure of
discipline in your life. All of these things have come
(29:39):
out of times that I didn't have that you know? Now,
there's nothing wrong with having leisure times, but but it's
even asking God to somehow, in the words of Philippians,
that prayer, approve the things that are excellent even in
your leisure times, asking him for that spirit of self-control
and eating. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with feasting, nothing wrong
with celebrations, but sometimes I'll walk around. The block is
(30:02):
better than the third desert. So just just just keeping,
you know, a measure of discipline in your life and
things that maybe you would not trip people up, but
maybe sometimes they they expose themselves and waste much time
on media where at best and and defile themselves at worst,
keep a measure of discipline. And also I would say maybe,
you know, things that have tripped you up, trust God
(30:23):
to prepare you for any, any temptation that you know,
tripped you up in the past have been making no
provision for the flesh. Having people praying with you about that.
Those are the five things that I trust God for myself,
and I trust God for others as well.
S5 (30:36):
Yeah.
S4 (30:37):
Those are powerful. I think folks who are reading the
book will working their way through those five. It's a
great for Christmas prayer times. Absolutely. Doctor, what about the
family who has members of the family who are not
believers in Christ? And at Christmas, they're thrown together. Uh,
how can we be true to our own beliefs and
(31:00):
yet respectful of those who do not know Christ.
S2 (31:04):
I think getting before God I look one of my
favorite verses that I cling to. It says when my
enemies turn back, they stumble in pairs before you. For
you have maintained my just cause you sit upon your
throne judging righteously. I think the just cause we have
is just what God I want to be blameless in
love toward my loved ones. Philippians one nine through 11
I pray that your love will abound more and more
(31:25):
in knowledge and discernment. That's the Scripture we have engraved
in our wedding rings, and a part of the pain
of that. Is it really. It's a suffering to be
not be understood when you're around people who just do not,
at this point don't have the capacity to fully understand
and appreciate what drives you. Uh, you got to give
that right up. And that's very painful. But say, Lord,
(31:45):
I just want you. Would you give me your insight
and be prayerful about it? I had people pray in
my in my class before we recorded this to in
regard to the situation, they would be like, But God
just help us to be free and be love and
and to do everything I can. And so I think
prayerfully asking God for that. Sometimes you can think of
of activities that could make everybody feel comfortable and can
(32:07):
be bonding, but it's a prayerful thing and it's a
painful thing, and it's a suffering when you want them
to understand you, but they don't fully understand you.
S4 (32:17):
Well, Doctor Thrasher, we've been talking a lot about Christmas celebration,
but let's focus in our last segment here about New
Year's and celebrating the New Year. It's more than just
a ball dropping on Times Square. You believe that the
principle of First fruits gives us guidance for approaching a
new year? Explain that.
S2 (32:38):
Well, I remember as a Christian leader one time talked about,
had you taken the principle of first fruit and applied
that to his time? And he says, you know, as
I've given the first few moments of a day to God,
as I've given the first day of the week to
the Lord, and it's given the first part of the year,
that was the part that was the most foreign to
me the first part of the year. I had no
idea what that meant. I was trying to give the
first part of a day and honor the Lord the
Lord's day. But I remember when, okay, when January came around,
(33:02):
I was in April. I heard that. So I'd put
on my daytimer. Okay. When January comes around, I think
I have a few days that I can be a
little more available to the Lord. So this was over
40 years ago, and so I one thing I did,
I decluttered some things and gave away things I wasn't
using that helped a little bit. Then, as I was
looking through some past journals, three things sort of began
to surface. And so the idea came to my mind,
(33:23):
why don't you go into the year trusting God for
these three things and being attentive to those as you,
as you look to the Lord for that. That was
nothing in Scripture says you have to do that. But
that was a very special year. And so when the
next year came around and nothing magic about three, but
that's about as many as I can handle. So I said, Lord,
what three things do you want me to trust you
for for this year? In the in the book, on
(33:44):
page 24 to 26, I list some of those first
of year requests that I've seen God be very faithful in.
I remember the the very first year this obvious things
hit me in that first Corinthians 13 1 to 3,
talking about how if I speak with the tongue of
men and angels don't have love, I'm just making those
first three verses says that love is what absolutely essential
to give meaning to anything I said, Lord. And then
(34:04):
I'm not sure I know what love is. But then
I remember in first John four, we love because he
first loved us. I said, okay, I'm putting those two
things together. If love is the most essential thing that
gives meaning to everything, and we love because he first
loved us, I'm going to ask you, Lord, to overwhelm
me with your love, that I can better love you
and love others. You know, as I laid that before
(34:25):
the Lord, number one, I understood that only God can
love me the way I really yearn to be loved
and need to be loved. Only God can. What? Think
about me day and night. How precious are your thoughts
to me? Oh God, a vast is the sum of them.
If I were to count them, they would outnumber the
sands of the sea. And when I wake, I am
still with you. You. It would be foolish to put
that demand upon any other your most precious human relationship,
(34:45):
that you've got to think about me day and night. No,
they're going to have a bad day sometime. They've got
to sleep too. So that just that God loves you
in a way no one else ever can or will.
Even the depth of his love for me. Your passages
that I had even memorized, you know, Romans five, you know,
he set his love upon me when I was ungodly.
One summer day I felt particularly ungodly, but my spirit
(35:06):
was able to just drink up his love for an
ungodly man we I never had before. And then. Then
every time I would see an exhortation that I was
to love, I'd back away and say, okay, God, I
know I'm supposed to do that. Like Proverbs 717 A
friend loves at all times. Lord, I know you want
me to be that kind of friend, but most of all,
I'm just. How do you love? Lord, I thank you.
You're that to me. You loved me at all times.
(35:27):
Or he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. But
who covers the transgression, seeks love. Proverbs 17 nine. In
other words, if when you have a close relationship with somebody,
you'll know things about them. If you could keep bringing
up their failures, you could destroy that relationship. That's not loving.
God doesn't do me that way. When I woke up,
if he put every failure in my face I couldn't get.
He doesn't do that because he's seeking to build a
(35:48):
relationship with me. A love relationship. So anyhow, he'll never
ask me to do something to others that he doesn't
abundantly do that to me. So I'm just saying that's
one thing. But just believing God, he's a living God.
What does he want you to trust you for? For
that year is a is a tremendous help in regard
to starting the new year.
S4 (36:06):
Yeah, it's a great idea. Well, you know, during the
year it would come to it. People are making New
Year's resolutions, Christians and non-Christians, New Year's resolutions. But for
those of us who are Christians, how do we approach
New Year's resolutions with a Christ centered perspective?
S2 (36:23):
I remember reading one time in Andrew Murray's book, The
Three Stages of the Christian Life. Quite frankly, I think
you go through the three stages multiple times, but the
first stage is I can do it, and that's going
to lead to failure. The second stage is I can't
do it now when we're in that stage, nobody said,
nobody's going to psych me up to make any kind
of goals or any kind of resolutions I'm not getting.
I've already been through that kind of failure. But then
(36:44):
there's the third stage. First. I can do it. Second,
I can't do it. Third stage I can't do it.
But I must do it. And I'm going to trust
God to do it. That's how you do resolutions. I
can't do it, but I must do it. And I'm
going to trust God to do it. A professor I
had a well-known professor in seminary. He said when he
became a Christian, he was told to write these words
in the front of his Bible. When I try, I fail.
(37:06):
When I trust he succeeds. And here he's talking to
me 40 years later and he says, you know, it's
taken me all this time to understand what those words mean.
When I try, I fail. When I trust he succeeds.
So trusting doesn't necessarily mean without effort, but it's in
that spirit that we we discern what is it God
wants us to trust him for, and we believe him
for it.
S4 (37:26):
Yeah, yeah. So what role does faith play in setting
life goals and New Year's goals?
S2 (37:33):
Well, I think the posture of faith as we come
before God and say, God, what do you want me
to believe you for? You're the master and I'm the servant. Uh,
what do you want me to believe you for? I
was just talking to a class earlier saying, you know,
if you take out a sheet of paper and you're
about on the top of that sheet of paper, God
want you to want me to trust you for for
my life, if that's all you did, that's a good
start to a life goal. And you okay, Lord, this
(37:54):
is a blank sheet. Would you help me discern what
is it you want me to trust you for from
my life? See, it's not a matter of coming up
with my dreams. It's laying hold of God's dreams for me.
I like Philippians three, that I may lay hold of
that for which I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
When God laid hold of us as believers, he had
a plan and a purpose, things that he wanted to
do in and for us and through us. And so
(38:16):
it's a matter of trusting God for that. He says, I,
you know, don't give you very long to live down here.
You know that Psalm 90 I took literally, you know,
teach me the number of my days and I may
acquire a heart of wisdom, 70, maybe 80, he says.
I remember in my 20s, I started doing that. I
multiplied 70 times, 365 and a fourth. I subtracted the
years I lived at that time and every year since then.
(38:37):
Now I'm 72 now, every day since then, I put
one number less on my on a paper day timer.
I'm probably one of the five people in the world
still use the paper at daytime now. Now I'm numbering up,
you know, because I'm past 70 or whatever. But, you know,
in that deadline, God has something he wants to do.
And I take a couple of days a year at
(38:57):
least to just say, Lord, I'm listening to you today.
Would you just make any adjustment you want me to
make in my life? Any adjustment? I'm just listening to
you today, and I'll write those down on a sheet
of paper where I've written those down, and there's a
page 32in the holiday book, some of those things, insights
from those days or whatever. But God's a living God.
Now that's in regard to a life goal and year
(39:20):
by year. I have just some categories there on page
23 and 24 about spiritual goals or relational goals or
physical goals. Nothing says you have to make goals in
all these years, but you can lay them before the Lord.
Intellectual goals, financial, recreational, vocational, academic, outreach, whatever it may be, it's.
But it's a matter of God. What do you want
me to trust you for? And and believe him for
(39:42):
that and being attentive to that. Now sometimes when you say, okay,
maybe I've misread you, I need to adjust that and
that's okay. It's you and God. And I think when
you quit dreaming or whatever, something something's something's wrong.
S5 (39:54):
Yeah.
S2 (39:55):
We die inside.
S4 (39:56):
I'm sure that there are listeners. In fact, there's a
lot of people who have regrets over past mistakes. How
can we let go of our past failures so that
we can step into the new year with faith and hope?
S2 (40:12):
Well, I love Proverbs 2416. The righteous man falls seven
times and rises again. Uh, remember those individual that lived
on my dorm floor in seminary? He said, our greatest
joy is not in ever falling, but in rising every
time we fall. Uh, one of the church fathers says
the danger is not that we fall, but that we
remain on the ground. And so I think God was
christened him. But God is ready to forgive. Psalm 80
(40:35):
65I had a person who became like a second father
to me. He had that Greek word to telestai. It
is finished. He had it engraved, and it was behind
his desk that every client had to come in and
see that funny Greek word. It is finished. Paid in full,
paid in full. Sometimes you need a verse with the
word all in it. Colossians 213 and 14 is one
(40:55):
of those verses. You know, in Martyn Lloyd-Jones book on
spiritual depression, one causes what this one thing I did,
you know, regret they couldn't get over. I like Hebrews 1017.
I'll remember your sins no more. Micah 719 says, he
takes our sins, and he puts them into the depth
of the sea. Corrie ten boom, as you well know,
used to puts up a sign saying no fishing. He
(41:16):
takes our sin and puts them in the depth of
the sea. So sometimes we may need somebody telling us
what God says to us. We don't need another mediator
between because we just need one mediator, and that's Jesus.
But sometimes we need somebody telling us what Jesus would
say to us. I'll sprinkle clean water on you. It'll
be clean. I will cleanse you from all your filthiness,
from all your idolatry. God can restore. He can restore.
(41:38):
Now to a to a repentant heart. An unrepentant heart
can abuse what I'm about to say. But to a
repentant heart, a person needs to know God can work
together for good. That which was not good. My sin
is not good. But God is so big and so
great and so wonderful, he can overrule that and work
it for good. Yeah, sometimes he doesn't wipe it out
of your memory, and you sort of have to attach
(42:01):
a new meaning to it. The dear lady that anointed
Jesus and the Pharisees rebuked him. So if you, being
a prophet, you ought to know what kind of woman
that was. And he said, she who has forgiven much
loves much, and so is he reminded of that thing. Okay, Lord,
would you just use that to well up in me, Lord,
a greater love for you and a greater forgiveness, and
even use me as an instrument that other people would
(42:22):
be spared from this, this mistake. You know, sometimes what
grieves me is when I know my sin has hurt
somebody I love. When the father of faith, Abraham, when
fear struck him and he lied to Abimelech in Genesis 20,
I love there in verse 17 and 18. Well, God
did exactly what he said I'll do. I'll bless those
who bless you and curse those who curse you. So
he closed the wombs of Abimelech and all of their household.
(42:44):
And and they weren't able to bear children. And though
when Abimelech said to he rebuked the the prophet, saying,
you've lied to me. And then it says, Abraham prayed,
and God healed Abimelech. And that's what I want a
person to say. God is so big and so wonderful.
He can even heal the hurts that we have caused.
(43:04):
So I worship him for that. You can't give God
a perfect record, because none of us have but the
eyes of the Lord look to and fro throughout the
whole earth to find a heart that's completely his saying,
God give you everything. Dear God, I want to look
to you and you alone so God can restore. God
can work and I praise God for that.
S4 (43:20):
Yeah, absolutely. As we near the end of our time
together today, Doctor Thrasher, what are some practical steps that
we can take in the New Year to strengthen our
walk with Christ?
S2 (43:32):
You know one thing that recently this has been a
tremendous help to my wife and I, and I owe
it to a mentor that I had in college that
I've just reconnected with. And 50 years later, we start
the day with what we call a four fold praise.
And it's not mechanical. It's relational. First, before I try
to do it before I get out of bed, I
praise God for some attribute. I have a bookmark. I
(43:55):
know exactly what attribute today. It was fateful and I
go through those those attributes each month, each one of
them twice. So I praise God for it. Also, I
praise God for what he's done for me. I have
a list of all that the blessings of God, but
I summarize it in a succinct way. God, I praise
you that I'm accepted by you. I'm secure in you.
I'm significant in you. And I pray God somehow my
(44:16):
life could ministry could overflow and that countless others would
be able to rest in those blessings too. Third, I
ask him for just for a fresh filling of the spirit. Lord,
I thank you. You know I'm not adequate, but Lord,
would you take my life? And would you use it
today to walk in the good works you have for me?
And then, fourthly, I take my position in Christ. Above
all principalities and powers. Just claiming the spiritual authority and
(44:36):
the spiritual battle over my life and my family. Each
of my sons and their families and my ministries. And
so those four four things praising God for who he is,
for what he's done for me, the gifts he's given
for the filling of the spirit and for the spiritual
authority that he's given me in the warfare I have.
Those things are a tremendous help to me. And my
wife would say that, too. And so we thank God
(44:57):
for that. And we thank God for you and Chris there, Gary. Very,
very much.
S4 (45:01):
Well, thank you, Doctor Thrasher. These are wonderful ideas. I
do hope that many of our listeners will get the
book because as we said earlier, it's not just Christmas
and New Year's. You also deal with some of the
other holidays. And as Christians, we want to use the
normal holidays that that are designed to celebrate Christ. So
(45:22):
thanks for being with us today. Thanks for investing time,
you and Penny investing time in writing this book.
S2 (45:27):
Thank you very, very much. It's a pleasure to be
with you.
S3 (45:30):
We hope something you've heard today is encouraged you helped you.
As we move closer to the Christmas and New Year celebrations,
find more practical help in the book. That's our featured
resource Putting God back in the holidays. You can find
out more at building relationships.us again. Building relationships.us.
S4 (45:51):
And coming up next week, David and Barbara Lehman take
us on a guided tour of the Christmas hymns and
carols that we all love.
S1 (45:59):
Don't miss the conversation and music in one week. A
big thank you to our production team, Steve Wick and Janice.
Backing building relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman is a production
of Moody Radio in Chicago in association with Moody Publishers,
a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
UU (46:17):
Thanks for listening.
Today on building relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman.
S2 (00:04):
I entered the holidays with some very unconscious expectations. I
sort of resented some of the demands of the holiday.
I'd like to put God back in the holidays, but
others have a different agenda. Whatever. Being content with your
role and being light in a dark place, even sometimes
being around ones that maybe can't fully appreciate you, fully
understand you, there is a battle in regard to this
(00:25):
time of year.
S1 (00:30):
Welcome to building relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman, author of
the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages. Today,
as we head toward Christmas and New Year's, we have
a program that will help you keep God at the
center of your celebrations.
S3 (00:45):
And on today's program, we're going to have a practical,
spiritual discussion that's going to help you not just get
through the holidays, but enhance your relationships as you navigate
what's ahead. Doctor Bill Thrasher is going to join us today.
He's the author co-author of Putting God Back in the
Holidays now. The book deals with the whole year, with
(01:05):
holidays throughout the year. But for the purpose of this conversation,
we're going to focus on Christmas and New Year's. And, Gary,
I know this is one of your favorite times of
the year, but it can also be stressful on relationships.
S4 (01:19):
Well, it can be, Chris, you know, thinking about all
the food we've got to cook and all the places
we've got to find for relatives to stay when they
come in. And, you know, those logistic things can really
be kind of overpowering sometimes. And then, of course, you know,
many families have an Uncle Claude, you know, who you
got to put up with. And you know, he's going
to be here and you've got to figure out, well,
(01:41):
how are we going to, you know, treat him and
let's be nice to him and we'll listen to his
stories and all kind of things, all kind of things
related to the holidays. So I'm glad that today we're
going to discuss how to make the holidays Christian. I mean,
you know. Yes. So this this will be a good discussion.
I'm excited about it.
S3 (02:00):
And I'm trying I'm still trying not to be Uncle Claude,
but I think I've become. Let's meet our guest. Doctor
Bill Thrasher is a beloved professor at Moody Bible Institute.
He's been teaching for 45 years. He is a graduate
professor of Bible and theology at Moody Theological Seminary, frequent
speaker for churches and retreats around the country. He's the
(02:23):
author of a number of books, including Believing God for
His Best A Journey to Victorious, Praying, and Living the
Life God Has Planned that our featured resource today is
written by Doctor Thrasher and his wife, Penny. It's titled
Putting God Back in the holidays. You can find out
more at Building relationships.us.
S4 (02:42):
Well, Doctor Thrasher, welcome back to Building Relationships. Well, I'm.
S2 (02:45):
Honored to be back with you. I love you too,
and so very grateful for all you've done for the
Lord's work and for Moody. It's honor to be to
know you.
S4 (02:53):
Well, you have had a long career of teaching both
undergraduate and graduate students at Moody. Uh, it must be
rewarding if this happens, that students actually come back from
time to time and return and reach out to you
and let you know what your teaching is meant to them. Uh,
have you had those kind of experiences?
S2 (03:13):
You know, that has been one of the greatest gifts
that God has given me. Yes. Uh, just thinking. This
past summer, my wife and I, we traveled to Manila, uh,
a student that I had over over 40 years ago.
And he's been a missionary for 40 years. And I
did a mission conference there for 100 Christian missionaries all
over East Asia. And that was one of the highlights
(03:33):
of my life. And and that was dear Tom. Tom
was a very skilled carpenter when he came and, you know,
doing high end work. And he began to work in
his church and be involved in evangelism. And since God's
driving him to the mission field. So he was headed
there and someone says, well, you know, he probably ought
to get some training. And he says, where should I go?
And he said, Moody Bible Institute. So he went to
Moody Bible Institute and he said, I guess I'm supposed
(03:54):
to apply. They said, have you ever taken the SATs?
I don't know what the S.A.T. is. So. But anyhow,
he came in, and even when he was an undergraduate student,
he began, he enrolled with. Then it was called a
different name. Now it's called Crestar. But he began connecting
with students there and in the churches in the 80s.
He said, do you have people that are friends of
the mission? And yeah, we do. And so he began
(04:16):
just doing Muslim awareness seminars in the 80s. It wasn't
quite we weren't quite as aware of that. And he's
been a faithful, faithful. So that's just one. I'm privileged
to have students and even now have the sons and
daughters of former students, and it is a great blessing.
Sometimes they give me credit for more than I deserve,
but truth matter, they were pretty amazing people when they
(04:36):
came and God did a work in their life, and
maybe I didn't mess them up. So. But it's a
great joy to to have been a part of that.
And I'm grateful now in these, these years, my wife
comes with me to school and she sits in the
class and and that's a huge help to my students
as she shows interest and love and encouragement and prayers.
And so anyhow, that's a it's a good area we're
(04:58):
in right now.
S4 (04:59):
Yeah. Well, I'm sitting here thinking about some of my
professors at Moody when I was there back in the
dark ages. And I'm asking myself, did I ever express
appreciation to them? Doctor Kenneth Weast I had for Greek. Yes.
And Doctor Harold Gardner and Christian education. Yes. And I
think there's a lot of students that that really don't
(05:22):
reach back, you know, to say to professors along the
way how much they appreciate them. But, uh, it's nice
when they do. But as you said, what's really rewarding
is when you see how God is using those students
around the world.
S2 (05:33):
Amen. Amen. And I'm sure that's a reward to see
how God is using you. You know, I, uh, maybe
this is a well known fact, but I didn't know
it till you spoke in chapel a number of years ago.
That no one would publish your first book. You had
to self-publish it.
S4 (05:47):
That's right. And it was before. Before self-publishing existed, I
literally self-published it.
S5 (05:54):
Wow.
S4 (05:55):
Wow. Well, for you, we're our topic today. What does
it mean to put God back into the holidays? And
how do you keep Christ central during this time of year?
S2 (06:07):
Well, you know it to some degree. That goes back
to the to the why I wrote the book and
and my dear wife helped. But it was it's this
way back when, when I was a student, years ago,
I noticed that the holiday time. Like I said, if
you charted my spiritual life, the holidays would have been
a valley, not a peak. As far as time of
(06:28):
really being vibrantly alert to the Lord. And so I
just sense a special battle around the holidays. Part of
it was because I would be going from being very
busy and then sort of having a break and and
so I remember when I sensed God calling me into
teaching and ministry, and I remember keeping a list of
what I wanted to do if God ever opened that door.
(06:48):
And one of the things was prepare my students for
the holidays for the last 45 years, this would be
the last class during the fall semester. I do talk
about preparing yourself spiritually for the holidays, so I do
that out of sensing my own need. And I've not
only shared that with students, but also many, many other
people and whatever. And people come to the holidays from
many different backgrounds, you know, from a strong Christian heritage
(07:11):
to a heritage that's hostile or indifferent, or from a
strong marriage to a difficult marriage, to never marry, to
a new marriage and divorce and all of those things,
and maybe a parent and a single parent, but so
but whatever the situation is, you know, our faith is attacked.
And I came to find out about your faith I
read today in Thessalonians. He says, lest the tempter having
(07:34):
tempted you. First Thessalonians three five so you see, he
attacks our faith. And I think, But God wants to
strengthen our faith, that word be strong in the Lord
and the strength of his might. That same Greek word
is used in Romans four that Abraham was strengthened to believe.
So I want individuals just to be strengthened to believe God.
Christ left heaven to come to earth in this broken
(07:56):
world that was fallen and rebellious against him, to enter
into the world. And he wants to enter into your holidays.
They may be the most joyous days of your life.
You may have a great community of faith, or you
may be the only person there that's crying out to God,
but he wants to enter in and to communicate his comfort,
his love, his encouragement, his hope, and to know that
you're not alone. And so that's what I desire. I
(08:18):
desire that for whoever. Whatever your situation is, we want
to believe God for that. Yeah, I've charted this. Why
is there such a battle? I've got. I've noted five
reasons there is such a battle. And I'm sure you
could maybe alert to others as well. But part of
it is you look at all the holidays. There is
a spiritual significance of them, even though we've greatly secularized
(08:38):
them in our culture. But but even when everybody doesn't
want to say Merry Christmas. I want to say Happy holidays.
There is a focus on Christ during this particular time,
and Satan hates Christ. And certainly you would expect him
to attack people who truly represent him, even people whom
all people whom Christ has created. And so it's no, statistically,
(09:00):
there are more suicides and more depression and all that stuff.
That's part of the battle. But also now maybe not
everybody because, you know, Gary says it's the most joyous
time for him. And I want it to be in
his become that for me. But, you know, I usually
enter this time of year very tired and very depleted.
I finished up a semester, I'm preparing for a new one.
And I think you're always more vulnerable when you're tired
(09:20):
and depleted. And I don't think my situation is that unusual.
I think others have told me that at this time
of year seems to just exalt an unattainable ideal. I
remember we were doing some caregiving for my precious mother
in law, who is with the Lord now, and it was.
I think it was it was right around Christmas Eve
(09:41):
or close to it. And and she required 24 hour care.
We covered those things and with some help from brother
and sister in law and a few other people, and
sometimes we hired a service called More Than Family. And
this dear lady had done one shift, and I was
talking to that lady before she was going to leave.
And I said, you know, I told her what I was,
you know, I said, well, that was my last day
(10:03):
of my class for the semester. And I've talked about
preparing spiritually for the holidays. I said, holidays can be hard.
She says, oh, can it be hard? She says, I
was preparing supper years ago for my extended family, and
I saw my husband's phone go off. And so I
went in there. I wanted to get his call, and
that's when I discovered an affair he'd been in for
(10:23):
many years that ultimately ended our marriage. And she says, oh,
it's a very hard time before she left, says, you're
not leaving. You're having supper with us. And she spent
the evening with us. Now, even sometimes the painful memories,
sometimes just unfulfilled Dreams, any kind of brokenness in our life,
you know? For me, I think part of my struggle
(10:44):
was this took me a while to realize this, that
I entered the holidays with some very unconscious expectations. You know,
my unconscious expectation was I deserve a break. I sort
of resented some of the demands of the of the holiday.
I think other people have told me, you say, boy,
I like this idea of putting God back in the holidays,
but he or she said, I'm not in control of
(11:06):
my holidays. I'd like to put God back in the holidays,
but others have a different agenda or whatever. So, you know,
being content with your role and being light in a
dark place, even sometimes being around ones that maybe can't
fully appreciate you or fully understand you, that's a challenge.
So those are some of the reasons that there is
a battle in regard to this time of year.
S4 (11:25):
Well, Doctor Thrasher, we've just come through a contentious election
season and all the divisions that we've heard about in
our country, just a real political divide. Do you think
the message of Christmas can help bring people together.
S2 (11:40):
Well, I think if the true message is is digested,
it certainly can. It's unifying. It's a message of hope.
It's a message of of love. God putting his love
upon us when we were his enemies and helpless and
indifferent and unquestionably, you know, it's a time of great
time where God wants to restore us. It's a time
(12:00):
of joy. Joy is a slippery concept in Scripture, but
the key to joy is when you and God are
in harmony. You can be joyful. That's why Jesus was
said to be the most joyous person who ever lived.
Hebrews one nine that was love, righteousness, and hated lawlessness.
Therefore God has anointed you with the oil of joy
above all your companions. So he came to restore us
and unite us to him. Anytime we're focused on something
(12:22):
outside of ourselves together that brings real unity, let us
exalt his name together. So I'm praying it will be.
I pray that God we will see an unprecedented harvest
of souls. I mean, I'm here because of the incredible
revival that was happening in the 70s. I'm not sure
we really fully realized it, but that was when I
was in college and and there was just a stream
(12:44):
of people going into the Lord's work. Campus ministries were.
And that not that God has not worked since, but
it was a very incredible time that God worked there.
And so I'm praying for a great harvest of souls
in this time. It's dark, it's challenging. You're all right.
We've gone through a difficult season, but we just cry
to God for him to pour out His Spirit upon
(13:04):
us and and do an unprecedented work here in our land.
S4 (13:08):
Well, that's my hope to God loved us while we
were sinners.
S5 (13:12):
Amen.
S4 (13:12):
And so we must love people even though we disagree
with them on a whole lot of stuff. But we're
the ones that will be reaching out to love them,
you know? Love your enemies. Jesus said so, right? Wow, wow. Well,
you were single for many years before you married and
had children. How did you approach the holidays as a
single person and what advice would you give for singles today?
(13:36):
Who are listening to us?
S2 (13:37):
Well, you know, I was married at age 36. And
so I will say, you know, God gave great grace
as I threw myself into the ministry God called me to,
and I felt his calling on me on that time
was to be single. There was a great contentment, but
holidays were a harder time. I think there in the
holiday time. I think your singleness is sort of accentuated.
(13:58):
I think you have to be prayed up that not
to be vulnerable to some lies. I mean the the
lie that can say, hey, if you're not paired off
on a particular day of the year, maybe is something
wrong with you? Are you as special as God really
says you are? I think you can even be vulnerable
to start a wrong relationship. I would keep a list
of things that God esteemed in a woman scripturally, just
(14:20):
to keep my eyes on what God esteemed. As I
waited on God for his timing, spending time with him
and letting him affirm listening to him, and they say
the greatest influence about what we think about ourselves is
as what we our perception of what the most important
person in our life thinks about us. So when God
wants you, let him erect himself as the most important
input and listen to him. The devil is cruel. I
(14:42):
think also as a single Christmas he came not to
be served, but to serve and give his life a
ransom to many. This is the principle of sowing and
reaping was a big help to me in when I
saw that, uh, I would just say, okay, when you
feel like you need encouragement, you need so it give it.
I would keep a people like a list of people
that I could just give a call to that I
(15:02):
think would appreciate a call or whatever, and it'll come back.
I mean, it's just like plant a crop of kindness
and it'll it'll come back. Not in the way you
think it will, but it'll it'll come back. Maybe not
in the timing. You think it will, but it'll come back.
So it is a challenge. Sometimes in the church things
are are very family oriented and we praise God for that.
I thank God for some key families that were a
tremendous help to me during my single years. I taught
(15:24):
here almost nine years, eight and a half years single,
and those were very, very precious time and my wife
and I, we esteem singles. There was a time that
we ran a family class at our church, and we
did all our socials with the singles groups so they
can be a great help to us and and we
came to them. In fact, we still have some very,
very close friends that are single that have never married.
S4 (15:47):
You mentioned that whole concept of serving as following the
example of Christ. Uh, the holidays often give us more
opportunities for singles to be involved in serving, right? And
in various situations. Absolutely.
S2 (16:02):
I think that's one of the ways I think we
can be prayed up in regard to making the use
of this of this season.
S4 (16:08):
What are some practical ways that families can center their
Christmas celebrations around Christ rather than just, you know, festive activities?
S2 (16:17):
This is maybe the longest answer, and it relates to
a particular passage of Scripture. The familiar Mary Martha story
has become one of my favorite Christmas texts, text. I
know there's really nothing about Christmas there, but it sure
sounds like Christmas when it says Martha was distracted with
all her preparations. To me, that's Luke 1040. That sounds
(16:38):
like Christmas. But the thing Martha did right. We usually
don't talk about what she did right, but what she
did right. She welcomed Christ into her home. That's a
strong word. Just used three other times it's used of
Zacchaeus welcoming Christ into his home and Jason welcoming the
Christians in his home in acts 17, and even Rahab
welcoming the the messengers in her home. That passage was
(17:00):
the origin of a tradition that God gave me the
idea for. And we've instituted in our home to have
a special meal at the beginning of the holidays, um,
usually at the beginning of December. Now we of course,
our boys are grown now, so getting it scheduled is
not as easy as it once was. But we have
a special meal, have our finest China there, and we
have an empty place setting for Jesus, and we welcome
(17:22):
him to the holidays. And even my boys were very small,
but we would just talk to Jesus as if he
was at the table, because he is at the table
and he's at every table, but in a special way.
Just talk to him about our plans and say, Lord,
we want you to be in the midst of this.
Is there anything you want us to change? And maybe
are there ideas that we haven't thought about? But we
talked to him and we dedicate those holidays to the Lord. Um,
(17:44):
I remember the time that it was going to be
the first Christmas that we didn't have. My wife's father,
my son's grandfather, my father in law with us. And
I felt like there at that table, God gave us
an idea that said, let's just let's address the elephant
in the room. He's not going to be there. But
let's talk about give our favorite grandfather memories or whatever.
And that was a special time. So welcoming. Christ. See,
(18:05):
Martha is rebuked not because she's serving. Somebody needs to serve.
You talked about all the things that need to be
done during the Christmas holiday, but they're in verse 40.
It says she was distracted with all her preparations. She
was worried, and she was troubled and bothered about so
many things. And I think that's the way the the
devil works. He says in one Corinthians 11 three, it says,
(18:26):
he leads us astray from the simplicity and purity of
devotion to Christ. So that's for what she's rebuked. Now,
why is she rebuked? I would want a person to realize, hey,
God loves you in your most distracted moment, your most
worried moment. You're there. Be hope for none of us
or the most trouble moment. Why he does. He loves
us so much. He hasn't sent us, us to live
(18:47):
that way. You see in that verse 40, what it
leads to, it leads to doubting his care. Lord, don't
you care that my sister, she begins to criticize Mary?
She's left me to do all the serving alone. It
makes you doubt and be critical, and also feel alone
and abandoned. And the worst thing in verse 40, you
(19:07):
begin to have a demanding spirit toward Christ. Notice how
she talks to Jesus. Tell her to help me. Uh,
Martha did right. She invited Jesus to her home, but
she did not enjoy the visit. And I think a
lot of people don't enjoy Jesus's birthday earlier years when
you know we would have our little Christmas. They would
go over to my in-laws house and the other relatives
(19:29):
were there. Whatever. We had to so rush to get there.
We said, hey, this is not right. We want to
enjoy both. So we put a different day on the
calendar earlier. We're not going to answer calls. We're not
going to just going to be off and just really
relax and enjoy. And so that was a help. Even
when we knew whom we were going to have to
host or whatever, let's say let's let's be relaxed as
(19:52):
we host. But we needed to have our Christmas at
a different day. So that's part of whatever, whatever you
have to do to take that hurry. In the rush,
Mary is commended not because she's lazy and not because
she's not helping. It seemed to imply in the scripture
that she had helped earlier, but she's a picture of
abiding in the Lord, and she's attentive to him, devoted
(20:12):
to him, sit at his feet, willing to do anything
he would ask her to do. But he says she
chose the good part that will not be taken away
from her. It leads to eternal fruit. You know, the
thematic placement of this particular passage, it's not chronologically related
to what's before and afterwards, but I think it's thematically
related before it is the story of the Good Samaritan
that that story of spontaneous compassion, that one of them
(20:35):
and the other is the teaching on prayer. I think
that hurried spirit, we can't see anything. We're just in
a survival mode. You can't see the spontaneous compassion, and
it certainly destroys the spirit of prayer. So I think
there's great fruit in listening to the Lord's rebuke. He
loves us. He cares about us. And it's a work
of God to be able to enjoy this holiday, especially,
(20:56):
quite frankly, the one who is the host or the hostess.
It's it's a it's a greater challenge to have that
relaxed attitude. I like the diligent, diligent Christian worker of
the past, John Wesley. He said, although I'm always in haste,
I'm never in a hurry. I never do more than
I can do except with perfect calmness of spirit. I said, Lord,
that's a that's a diligence that I didn't grow up with.
(21:18):
I grew up with diligence because I had a diligent mother,
but not that kind of diligence.
S5 (21:22):
Yeah. Yeah.
S4 (21:24):
Oh, well, those are good words. I think that, you know,
I like the idea of starting earlier in the, in December, like,
you know, and do some things leading up to it. Yeah. Well,
you know, Christmas of course, is a time of gift giving.
But how can Christians approach the giving of gifts in
a way that reflects the love of Christ and not just,
(21:46):
you know, materialism?
S5 (21:47):
Well, when.
S2 (21:49):
We realize, okay, whose birthday we're celebrating, that dawned on me. Well,
should we be giving a gift to Jesus? And so
now I'm not a great gift giver either. You know,
my wife is. I'm not. And I'm too practical. Even
as a boy, I didn't like to get a gift
that I felt like I really didn't need. You know,
I just, you know, it was just the waste. I mean,
the idea this has been a tradition we've done is
(22:12):
the idea. Everybody announces what gift they're giving to Jesus
that year. And we'll write it down and I'll rehearse,
tell them, tell them about what they've done in the
last year. You know, that meant so much of my
boys were growing up, and one member one year says,
I want to give the gift to Jesus. I want
to make a greater investment in my younger brother. Or
I remember my wife saying, I want to put more
music in our home or whatever. Well, that's been the highlight.
(22:34):
Now I've expanded it to not only talk about the
gift you're giving Jesus, but also what gift. As you
look back on this past year that Jesus has given you,
are you especially grateful for even also expanded? What gift
has Jesus given you that you see in the family
members that are with you today and that you'd just
like to verbalize, thanking them for the gift of God
you see in their life. And then also, fourthly, they
(22:57):
don't have to answer all of these, but the idea
of what gift are you trusting God for for this
next year? So, you know, putting that in there, have
the story there in the book about the white envelope
that you've probably heard. It's a well known story. The
but there was a, a family that she knew her
husband hated Christmas. Not the true meaning of Christmas. But
he hated the hurry, the rush, the running around to
(23:17):
maybe get a gift just to get it. But it
didn't really need it. And so what she did, her
son had gone to a had a wrestling match with
an inner city school and and they didn't have enough
money to even have the headgear, the wrestling headgear. And
what she did, she went out to a sporting goods
store and she bought that headgear, made a donation to
that school, and she put a white envelope on the
on the Christmas tree, and he opened it and she
(23:41):
informed him what she had done. And that was the
he says his bright smile was the highlight of that year.
And every year she would do that. And the kids,
even though they would have toys, they couldn't wait for
the white envelope. And one year when you know, he
was no longer with him, it was, she said, it
was so hard to get ready for Christmas. Oh my goodness,
we missed him so much. And but then when they
got to the cry and said, when they got to
(24:03):
the Christmas Day, there weren't one white envelope. There were
several white envelopes. Everybody had put a white envelope in
honor of their father so that that that.
S5 (24:12):
Is.
S2 (24:12):
The origin of our little thing. We don't have the
white envelope, but just what gift we're giving. Jesus.
S4 (24:17):
Oh, yeah. That's great.
S1 (24:25):
This is the Building Relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman podcast.
Thanks for listening and for telling others about our conversations.
When you go to five Love languages.com, you can find
more ways to strengthen your relationships. Just click the resources
tab and you'll find the podcast there and today's featured
resource again go to five Love languages.com.
S4 (24:51):
Doctor Asher, before we took our break, we were talking
about gift giving and how to honor Christ in that.
You know, I remember several years ago I said to
our church, and I don't know, this just kind of
came to me. It was our missions offering. We're taking
a missions offering in December. What if we give our
largest gift to the missions offering. Give it to God
(25:12):
for missions.
S5 (25:13):
Mhm.
S4 (25:14):
And that year we went from the previous year our
church gave 250,000. That year we gave 500,000. Wow.
S5 (25:21):
Wow. Wow. That's beautiful.
S4 (25:23):
And our pastors kind of picked up on that and
followed that through the years. You know, we're up to
a million now.
S5 (25:28):
Wow. Wow.
S4 (25:30):
So that's another thought for putting Christ, you know, at
the heart of Christmas.
S5 (25:35):
Amen.
S4 (25:36):
Now, in what ways can the church community serve those
who are in need during the Christmas season? And we
know that that that's a real, you know, segment of
our society today. And and how does that embody the
love of Jesus?
S2 (25:51):
You know, when sometimes even when we think about, you know,
what gift we're giving to Jesus, sometimes God may give
us an idea that we need other people to help. Now,
we've done this a few times during Christmas season as
an expanded family, you know, extended family. We visited a
nursing home on Christmas Day. People that are in a
nursing home on Christmas Day are really alone, or else
(26:12):
somebody would have taken them somewhere, you know? What are
the good works that God has caused us to walk
in during these holiday times? And I believe if God
gives an idea and God's in it, God will give
the people a want to motivation to do it. And
thank God for that idea about that mission project or whatever.
That's that's extremely and it seemed like that's continued to
go on. So we praise God for that.
S5 (26:33):
Yeah.
S4 (26:34):
What do you think is the most important goal for
for Christmas?
S2 (26:39):
Well, I think the first thing to trust God for
our Lord during these holidays. Lord, I'm asking you for this.
I ask you to enhance my relationship with Christ. If
that happens, you've had a successful holiday. You know what
God said to the ancient king? As long as he
sought the Lord, God prospered him. God, send things into
your life that encourage you to to seek him. You
(27:00):
don't seek him in a vacuum. I sought the Lord,
and he delivered me from my fears. There's fear that
causes us to seek him. You don't cast all your
cares upon him. God entrust us with cares. So. Trusting
God to enhance your relationship with him. And sometimes difficulties
will be involved because some of his good gifts come
in strange packages. Um, I said, it's not often in
(27:21):
a prayer meeting that a person will pray, oh, God,
would you give me the good gift of loneliness tonight?
But if if loneliness causes you to seek the companionship
of Christ, it's a good gift. Mhm.
S4 (27:32):
Yeah. You know there there is positive results from the
hand of God when we use Christmas to celebrate the
coming of Christ. Right.
S2 (27:43):
Amen. Amen.
S4 (27:45):
Now you have five key prayers for us as we
enter the Christmas season. Can you share those with us?
S2 (27:52):
Be glad to. I need them and I pray them,
and I share them with my students. I share them
with groups, them. And the first one is what I've said.
Go into it actively asking God to enhance your relationship
with Christ. That's your that's your goal. If that happens,
you've had a wonderful holiday. I'd say, secondly, ask God
to rest you and refresh you. That is a work
(28:14):
of God in Psalm 23, which so many people know,
but it says it's a causative stem. He causes us
to lie down in green pastures, makes us lie down
beside the still waters. In other words, I'm a sheep.
And I used to think, well, boy, give me some
time off. That's the way I looked at it. And
just I can take care of that. Truth of the
matter is, you can't. You could sleep till noon every
day and not necessarily be rested and refreshed. If you
(28:36):
have some unresolved things in your heart, it's God who
what knows how to rest and refresh you. And I
think you see that in our precious Lord's life. He
got up a great while before day. He was went
to a lonely place and was praying there. And praying
is not used primarily for intercessions for others, but for
the outpouring of his own soul to find refreshment from
his heavenly Father. So even Jesus, as the God man,
(28:57):
did have emotional limitations and had to get refueled. So
trust him to rest you and refresh you. And sometimes
he can do that in strange ways. There there are
times that I'd say, boy, I just need to to
get away. And I'm not able to get away because
I have responsibilities. But God, sometimes right in the midst
of it, he can do it and think about a
single parent. Sometimes they never can get away, but somehow
(29:18):
God knows how to rest him and refresh him also.
I'd say ask God to show you how he wants
you to be a vessel of love. Let God fill
in the blank to to family, to friends or ones
in need and included. That would be the gift that
he wants you to to give to Jesus that year.
Another is to trust God to keep a measure of
discipline in your life. All of these things have come
(29:39):
out of times that I didn't have that you know? Now,
there's nothing wrong with having leisure times, but but it's
even asking God to somehow, in the words of Philippians,
that prayer, approve the things that are excellent even in
your leisure times, asking him for that spirit of self-control
and eating. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with feasting, nothing wrong
with celebrations, but sometimes I'll walk around. The block is
(30:02):
better than the third desert. So just just just keeping,
you know, a measure of discipline in your life and
things that maybe you would not trip people up, but
maybe sometimes they they expose themselves and waste much time
on media where at best and and defile themselves at worst,
keep a measure of discipline. And also I would say maybe,
you know, things that have tripped you up, trust God
(30:23):
to prepare you for any, any temptation that you know,
tripped you up in the past have been making no
provision for the flesh. Having people praying with you about that.
Those are the five things that I trust God for myself,
and I trust God for others as well.
S5 (30:36):
Yeah.
S4 (30:37):
Those are powerful. I think folks who are reading the
book will working their way through those five. It's a
great for Christmas prayer times. Absolutely. Doctor, what about the
family who has members of the family who are not
believers in Christ? And at Christmas, they're thrown together. Uh,
how can we be true to our own beliefs and
(31:00):
yet respectful of those who do not know Christ.
S2 (31:04):
I think getting before God I look one of my
favorite verses that I cling to. It says when my
enemies turn back, they stumble in pairs before you. For
you have maintained my just cause you sit upon your
throne judging righteously. I think the just cause we have
is just what God I want to be blameless in
love toward my loved ones. Philippians one nine through 11
I pray that your love will abound more and more
(31:25):
in knowledge and discernment. That's the Scripture we have engraved
in our wedding rings, and a part of the pain
of that. Is it really. It's a suffering to be
not be understood when you're around people who just do not,
at this point don't have the capacity to fully understand
and appreciate what drives you. Uh, you got to give
that right up. And that's very painful. But say, Lord,
(31:45):
I just want you. Would you give me your insight
and be prayerful about it? I had people pray in
my in my class before we recorded this to in
regard to the situation, they would be like, But God
just help us to be free and be love and
and to do everything I can. And so I think
prayerfully asking God for that. Sometimes you can think of
of activities that could make everybody feel comfortable and can
(32:07):
be bonding, but it's a prayerful thing and it's a
painful thing, and it's a suffering when you want them
to understand you, but they don't fully understand you.
S4 (32:17):
Well, Doctor Thrasher, we've been talking a lot about Christmas celebration,
but let's focus in our last segment here about New
Year's and celebrating the New Year. It's more than just
a ball dropping on Times Square. You believe that the
principle of First fruits gives us guidance for approaching a
new year? Explain that.
S2 (32:38):
Well, I remember as a Christian leader one time talked about,
had you taken the principle of first fruit and applied
that to his time? And he says, you know, as
I've given the first few moments of a day to God,
as I've given the first day of the week to
the Lord, and it's given the first part of the year,
that was the part that was the most foreign to
me the first part of the year. I had no
idea what that meant. I was trying to give the
first part of a day and honor the Lord the
Lord's day. But I remember when, okay, when January came around,
(33:02):
I was in April. I heard that. So I'd put
on my daytimer. Okay. When January comes around, I think
I have a few days that I can be a
little more available to the Lord. So this was over
40 years ago, and so I one thing I did,
I decluttered some things and gave away things I wasn't
using that helped a little bit. Then, as I was
looking through some past journals, three things sort of began
to surface. And so the idea came to my mind,
(33:23):
why don't you go into the year trusting God for
these three things and being attentive to those as you,
as you look to the Lord for that. That was
nothing in Scripture says you have to do that. But
that was a very special year. And so when the
next year came around and nothing magic about three, but
that's about as many as I can handle. So I said, Lord,
what three things do you want me to trust you
for for this year? In the in the book, on
(33:44):
page 24 to 26, I list some of those first
of year requests that I've seen God be very faithful in.
I remember the the very first year this obvious things
hit me in that first Corinthians 13 1 to 3,
talking about how if I speak with the tongue of
men and angels don't have love, I'm just making those
first three verses says that love is what absolutely essential
to give meaning to anything I said, Lord. And then
(34:04):
I'm not sure I know what love is. But then
I remember in first John four, we love because he
first loved us. I said, okay, I'm putting those two
things together. If love is the most essential thing that
gives meaning to everything, and we love because he first
loved us, I'm going to ask you, Lord, to overwhelm
me with your love, that I can better love you
and love others. You know, as I laid that before
(34:25):
the Lord, number one, I understood that only God can
love me the way I really yearn to be loved
and need to be loved. Only God can. What? Think
about me day and night. How precious are your thoughts
to me? Oh God, a vast is the sum of them.
If I were to count them, they would outnumber the
sands of the sea. And when I wake, I am
still with you. You. It would be foolish to put
that demand upon any other your most precious human relationship,
(34:45):
that you've got to think about me day and night. No,
they're going to have a bad day sometime. They've got
to sleep too. So that just that God loves you
in a way no one else ever can or will.
Even the depth of his love for me. Your passages
that I had even memorized, you know, Romans five, you know,
he set his love upon me when I was ungodly.
One summer day I felt particularly ungodly, but my spirit
(35:06):
was able to just drink up his love for an
ungodly man we I never had before. And then. Then
every time I would see an exhortation that I was
to love, I'd back away and say, okay, God, I
know I'm supposed to do that. Like Proverbs 717 A
friend loves at all times. Lord, I know you want
me to be that kind of friend, but most of all,
I'm just. How do you love? Lord, I thank you.
You're that to me. You loved me at all times.
(35:27):
Or he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. But
who covers the transgression, seeks love. Proverbs 17 nine. In
other words, if when you have a close relationship with somebody,
you'll know things about them. If you could keep bringing
up their failures, you could destroy that relationship. That's not loving.
God doesn't do me that way. When I woke up,
if he put every failure in my face I couldn't get.
He doesn't do that because he's seeking to build a
(35:48):
relationship with me. A love relationship. So anyhow, he'll never
ask me to do something to others that he doesn't
abundantly do that to me. So I'm just saying that's
one thing. But just believing God, he's a living God.
What does he want you to trust you for? For
that year is a is a tremendous help in regard
to starting the new year.
S4 (36:06):
Yeah, it's a great idea. Well, you know, during the
year it would come to it. People are making New
Year's resolutions, Christians and non-Christians, New Year's resolutions. But for
those of us who are Christians, how do we approach
New Year's resolutions with a Christ centered perspective?
S2 (36:23):
I remember reading one time in Andrew Murray's book, The
Three Stages of the Christian Life. Quite frankly, I think
you go through the three stages multiple times, but the
first stage is I can do it, and that's going
to lead to failure. The second stage is I can't
do it now when we're in that stage, nobody said,
nobody's going to psych me up to make any kind
of goals or any kind of resolutions I'm not getting.
I've already been through that kind of failure. But then
(36:44):
there's the third stage. First. I can do it. Second,
I can't do it. Third stage I can't do it.
But I must do it. And I'm going to trust
God to do it. That's how you do resolutions. I
can't do it, but I must do it. And I'm
going to trust God to do it. A professor I
had a well-known professor in seminary. He said when he
became a Christian, he was told to write these words
in the front of his Bible. When I try, I fail.
(37:06):
When I trust he succeeds. And here he's talking to
me 40 years later and he says, you know, it's
taken me all this time to understand what those words mean.
When I try, I fail. When I trust he succeeds.
So trusting doesn't necessarily mean without effort, but it's in
that spirit that we we discern what is it God
wants us to trust him for, and we believe him
for it.
S4 (37:26):
Yeah, yeah. So what role does faith play in setting
life goals and New Year's goals?
S2 (37:33):
Well, I think the posture of faith as we come
before God and say, God, what do you want me
to believe you for? You're the master and I'm the servant. Uh,
what do you want me to believe you for? I
was just talking to a class earlier saying, you know,
if you take out a sheet of paper and you're
about on the top of that sheet of paper, God
want you to want me to trust you for for
my life, if that's all you did, that's a good
start to a life goal. And you okay, Lord, this
(37:54):
is a blank sheet. Would you help me discern what
is it you want me to trust you for from
my life? See, it's not a matter of coming up
with my dreams. It's laying hold of God's dreams for me.
I like Philippians three, that I may lay hold of
that for which I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
When God laid hold of us as believers, he had
a plan and a purpose, things that he wanted to
do in and for us and through us. And so
(38:16):
it's a matter of trusting God for that. He says, I,
you know, don't give you very long to live down here.
You know that Psalm 90 I took literally, you know,
teach me the number of my days and I may
acquire a heart of wisdom, 70, maybe 80, he says.
I remember in my 20s, I started doing that. I
multiplied 70 times, 365 and a fourth. I subtracted the
years I lived at that time and every year since then.
(38:37):
Now I'm 72 now, every day since then, I put
one number less on my on a paper day timer.
I'm probably one of the five people in the world
still use the paper at daytime now. Now I'm numbering up,
you know, because I'm past 70 or whatever. But, you know,
in that deadline, God has something he wants to do.
And I take a couple of days a year at
(38:57):
least to just say, Lord, I'm listening to you today.
Would you just make any adjustment you want me to
make in my life? Any adjustment? I'm just listening to
you today, and I'll write those down on a sheet
of paper where I've written those down, and there's a
page 32in the holiday book, some of those things, insights
from those days or whatever. But God's a living God.
Now that's in regard to a life goal and year
(39:20):
by year. I have just some categories there on page
23 and 24 about spiritual goals or relational goals or
physical goals. Nothing says you have to make goals in
all these years, but you can lay them before the Lord.
Intellectual goals, financial, recreational, vocational, academic, outreach, whatever it may be, it's.
But it's a matter of God. What do you want
me to trust you for? And and believe him for
(39:42):
that and being attentive to that. Now sometimes when you say, okay,
maybe I've misread you, I need to adjust that and
that's okay. It's you and God. And I think when
you quit dreaming or whatever, something something's something's wrong.
S5 (39:54):
Yeah.
S2 (39:55):
We die inside.
S4 (39:56):
I'm sure that there are listeners. In fact, there's a
lot of people who have regrets over past mistakes. How
can we let go of our past failures so that
we can step into the new year with faith and hope?
S2 (40:12):
Well, I love Proverbs 2416. The righteous man falls seven
times and rises again. Uh, remember those individual that lived
on my dorm floor in seminary? He said, our greatest
joy is not in ever falling, but in rising every
time we fall. Uh, one of the church fathers says
the danger is not that we fall, but that we
remain on the ground. And so I think God was
christened him. But God is ready to forgive. Psalm 80
(40:35):
65I had a person who became like a second father
to me. He had that Greek word to telestai. It
is finished. He had it engraved, and it was behind
his desk that every client had to come in and
see that funny Greek word. It is finished. Paid in full,
paid in full. Sometimes you need a verse with the
word all in it. Colossians 213 and 14 is one
(40:55):
of those verses. You know, in Martyn Lloyd-Jones book on
spiritual depression, one causes what this one thing I did,
you know, regret they couldn't get over. I like Hebrews 1017.
I'll remember your sins no more. Micah 719 says, he
takes our sins, and he puts them into the depth
of the sea. Corrie ten boom, as you well know,
used to puts up a sign saying no fishing. He
(41:16):
takes our sin and puts them in the depth of
the sea. So sometimes we may need somebody telling us
what God says to us. We don't need another mediator
between because we just need one mediator, and that's Jesus.
But sometimes we need somebody telling us what Jesus would
say to us. I'll sprinkle clean water on you. It'll
be clean. I will cleanse you from all your filthiness,
from all your idolatry. God can restore. He can restore.
(41:38):
Now to a to a repentant heart. An unrepentant heart
can abuse what I'm about to say. But to a
repentant heart, a person needs to know God can work
together for good. That which was not good. My sin
is not good. But God is so big and so
great and so wonderful, he can overrule that and work
it for good. Yeah, sometimes he doesn't wipe it out
of your memory, and you sort of have to attach
(42:01):
a new meaning to it. The dear lady that anointed
Jesus and the Pharisees rebuked him. So if you, being
a prophet, you ought to know what kind of woman
that was. And he said, she who has forgiven much
loves much, and so is he reminded of that thing. Okay, Lord,
would you just use that to well up in me, Lord,
a greater love for you and a greater forgiveness, and
even use me as an instrument that other people would
(42:22):
be spared from this, this mistake. You know, sometimes what
grieves me is when I know my sin has hurt
somebody I love. When the father of faith, Abraham, when
fear struck him and he lied to Abimelech in Genesis 20,
I love there in verse 17 and 18. Well, God
did exactly what he said I'll do. I'll bless those
who bless you and curse those who curse you. So
he closed the wombs of Abimelech and all of their household.
(42:44):
And and they weren't able to bear children. And though
when Abimelech said to he rebuked the the prophet, saying,
you've lied to me. And then it says, Abraham prayed,
and God healed Abimelech. And that's what I want a
person to say. God is so big and so wonderful.
He can even heal the hurts that we have caused.
(43:04):
So I worship him for that. You can't give God
a perfect record, because none of us have but the
eyes of the Lord look to and fro throughout the
whole earth to find a heart that's completely his saying,
God give you everything. Dear God, I want to look
to you and you alone so God can restore. God
can work and I praise God for that.
S4 (43:20):
Yeah, absolutely. As we near the end of our time
together today, Doctor Thrasher, what are some practical steps that
we can take in the New Year to strengthen our
walk with Christ?
S2 (43:32):
You know one thing that recently this has been a
tremendous help to my wife and I, and I owe
it to a mentor that I had in college that
I've just reconnected with. And 50 years later, we start
the day with what we call a four fold praise.
And it's not mechanical. It's relational. First, before I try
to do it before I get out of bed, I
praise God for some attribute. I have a bookmark. I
(43:55):
know exactly what attribute today. It was fateful and I
go through those those attributes each month, each one of
them twice. So I praise God for it. Also, I
praise God for what he's done for me. I have
a list of all that the blessings of God, but
I summarize it in a succinct way. God, I praise
you that I'm accepted by you. I'm secure in you.
I'm significant in you. And I pray God somehow my
(44:16):
life could ministry could overflow and that countless others would
be able to rest in those blessings too. Third, I
ask him for just for a fresh filling of the spirit. Lord,
I thank you. You know I'm not adequate, but Lord,
would you take my life? And would you use it
today to walk in the good works you have for me?
And then, fourthly, I take my position in Christ. Above
all principalities and powers. Just claiming the spiritual authority and
(44:36):
the spiritual battle over my life and my family. Each
of my sons and their families and my ministries. And
so those four four things praising God for who he is,
for what he's done for me, the gifts he's given
for the filling of the spirit and for the spiritual
authority that he's given me in the warfare I have.
Those things are a tremendous help to me. And my
wife would say that, too. And so we thank God
(44:57):
for that. And we thank God for you and Chris there, Gary. Very,
very much.
S4 (45:01):
Well, thank you, Doctor Thrasher. These are wonderful ideas. I
do hope that many of our listeners will get the
book because as we said earlier, it's not just Christmas
and New Year's. You also deal with some of the
other holidays. And as Christians, we want to use the
normal holidays that that are designed to celebrate Christ. So
(45:22):
thanks for being with us today. Thanks for investing time,
you and Penny investing time in writing this book.
S2 (45:27):
Thank you very, very much. It's a pleasure to be
with you.
S3 (45:30):
We hope something you've heard today is encouraged you helped you.
As we move closer to the Christmas and New Year celebrations,
find more practical help in the book. That's our featured
resource Putting God back in the holidays. You can find
out more at building relationships.us again. Building relationships.us.
S4 (45:51):
And coming up next week, David and Barbara Lehman take
us on a guided tour of the Christmas hymns and
carols that we all love.
S1 (45:59):
Don't miss the conversation and music in one week. A
big thank you to our production team, Steve Wick and Janice.
Backing building relationships with Doctor Gary Chapman is a production
of Moody Radio in Chicago in association with Moody Publishers,
a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
UU (46:17):
Thanks for listening.
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