October 18, 2024 • 27 mins
In this episode, we dive into a question that's on the minds of many aspiring entrepreneurs: Can you really grow a business effortlessly? We’re surrounded by messages that make success look easy and instant, but what’s the real story behind those polished reels and highlight reels?
I’ll be sharing some hard truths about the intersection of hard work, ease, and what it really takes to build something sustainable—especially when life throws challenges your way. Whether you're questioning your own journey, dealing with personal or professional setbacks, or wondering if there's a secret to making it all feel easier, this episode will bring some much-needed clarity.
Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:
- Why 2024 has been one of the hardest years in my journey (and what I learned from it).
- The truth behind "effortless success" and why it’s not what it seems.
- How joy, ease, and pain can actually coexist in the process of growth.
- Why your hard work and struggles aren’t just valid—they’re essential for real, lasting success.
Tune in to hear my own reflections, aha moments, and some real talk on what growing a business truly looks like behind the scenes. Let’s rethink what “ease” really means and why your hard work and struggles matter more than you might think.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nikita Williams (00:04):
Welcome to Business with Chronic Illness,
the globally ranked podcast forwomen living with chronic
illness who want to start andgrow a business online.
I'm your host.
Nikita Williams and I went fromliving a normal life to all of
a sudden being in constant pain,with no answers to being
diagnosed with multiple chronicillnesses and trying to make a
livable income.
I faced the challenge ofadapting traditional business
(00:27):
advice to fit my uniquecircumstances with chronic
illness, feeling frustrated andmore burned out than I already
was.
While managing my chronicillness to becoming an
award-winning coach with aflexible, sustainable online
coaching business, I found thesurprisingly simple steps to
starting and growing aprofitable business without
compromising my health or mypeace.
(00:48):
Since then, I've helped dozensof women just like you learn how
to do the same.
If you're ready to create athriving business that aligns
with your lifestyle andwell-being, you're in the right
place.
Together, we're shifting thenarrative of what's possible for
women with chronic illness andhow we make a living.
(01:35):
This is Business with ChronicIllness.
Hello, a long time in a verylong time, a long time in a very
long time, and it must besomething to do with the
thirties, because when I thinkabout this, I think about Adele,
(01:59):
her song, like her last album,I think about some of the folks
that I follow and just women Italk to who are around my age,
that are like mid thirties, andI think you may relate to this
or you may be surprised to evenhear me talking about this.
I first wanted to say to anyonewho has listened to this
(02:23):
podcast when it was she'sCrafted to Thrive, crafted to
Thrive to Business with ChronicIllness or maybe you're new here
I want to say for anyone whohas seen this or listened to my
show, who has engaged with mycontent, and for anyone who
(02:46):
thought or perceived that I amin some way, shape or form,
perfect or make this look easyor tout, that this journey of
living with chronic illness,running a business, being a
woman, of living with chronicillness, running a business,
(03:07):
being a woman, being a Blackwoman, being a wife, being a
sister, being a friend, issomehow, with all of my
frameworks, all of the lessonsI've learned, all of the
personal development I've doneis easy.
I am sorry.
I am sorry if that is theperception I gave you and if
it's not, thank you.
I'm thankful that that ishopefully not the perception I
(03:30):
gave you.
And often when I hear from youall, whether you're my clients,
(04:14):
whether you're my past clients,whether you are in some kind of
magic bullet, if you will, formaking this journey so easy that
you feel no pain, youexperience no pain.
It's just like a switch.
And I had a realization thisyear, even more so.
(04:35):
I've never felt like anythingthat any human does is
effortless.
I just really think that's asales term, a copywriting term.
I believe that we can createease in the work that we do and
the healing that we do and thetransformation that we do, by
(04:59):
the way we bring ourselves tothat work or to that
circumstance, by how we treatourselves, how we love ourselves
, how we honor ourselves andgive ourselves dignity and
self-compassion.
I think we can find ease in thework that we do.
(05:20):
But don't get me wrong, don'tget it twisted that ease does
not mean there is no hard work.
Ease does not mean that thereis not pain.
Ease does not mean that itdoesn't take time.
Ease does not mean that it isgoing to come easily, right, and
(05:46):
I know by definition that wordis basically meaning effortless
or with no effort, and I reallydon't think there is a English
word that I have found thatreally describes what I am
trying to express in thisepisode, which is when things
(06:07):
are hard and you're goingthrough challenges, and I think
this just goes to also my ownbelief system, my own spiritual
belief system on why hard workand peace and joy can coexist.
And so this goes to a point thatI feel like in the last year
(06:31):
and a half or so, in my ownjourney of creating content and
supporting you all, I had anexperience.
I had an experience about Iwant to say it's been about a
(06:53):
year ago where I was shook alittle bit, off of my foundation
a bit.
I was shook from an experiencewhere I was taken aback by an
experience, and it made me notfall out of faith or fall out of
love or fall out of caring forpeople, but it did make me
(07:15):
question my motives, it made mequestion who I really am deep
inside and and it really took meaback, okay, and that led to a
lot of aha moments that led tome really going into therapy.
(07:36):
That led me to going reallydeep into my spirituality.
That also led me into a newphysical, chronic challenge
flare ups.
It's led me into a depressionthat comes and goes that I've
never really experienced, otherthan when I had my hysterectomy.
It led me to a burnout that hadnothing to do with my business,
(07:59):
but everything to do with meand how I hold space for people
and how I care and love, and howI care and love.
(08:21):
So I'm sharing this to say thatthe healing and the growing and
the business journey is exactlythat, our journey.
And if you are looking for itto be easy, with no pain, there
will be no growth.
You will stay where you are,and I recently had this huge aha
(08:42):
moment and it's still hard forme to work through.
I'm still working through, butthis is the beauty, I think, of
growth and also the reason why Icame to this realization hard
work does not mean that youcan't have ease, but it also
doesn't mean that you don't havepain and joy at the same time.
(09:05):
So if you have been feelinglike you're going through a
healing journey, you're goingthrough a really difficult time
and you're learning aboutyourself.
Maybe it's in your personal life, maybe it's in your business,
and you realize you need to takea step back.
You need to reevaluate wherethings are.
(09:26):
You need to identify whatreally is the thing that lights
you up, what really is yourstrengths, what really are the
things you're good at, andyou're questioning those things.
When you're in that season ofquestioning, I want you to
remember that, questioning whoyou are and what you're going
(09:46):
through, like who you are at thecore ultimately, like if you're
questioning who you are at thecore, like your identity as a
person, love on you some more.
Remember why those things arepart of you yes, life and things
that didn't go necessarily theway that were the most the best
(10:08):
way for us, the most the bestway for us.
There is aspects of ouridentity that was shaped or that
was fostered or created in thatearnest, if you will.
That help you survive and theycan help you to thrive.
(10:28):
And also remember that aspectsof those things might look
different now because of theunhealthy way you may have been
leading into that identity as asafety, and now where you are
now, you need to lean in adifferent direction in order to
thrive, in order to heal, inorder to feel more joy and peace
(10:52):
.
It doesn't mean, at the core,your identity has shifted.
It just means your perspectiveof that identity has.
Okay, so you know, it's kind oflike when we think about
different qualities aboutourselves or just different
qualities in general.
Let's just not even putourselves in it like different
facets of love.
(11:13):
Some people are, there'sdifferent love languages, some
of us have certain ways that welove connecting with people,
love to receive love, and itlooks different.
It just doesn't mean thatthere's one type of one version
of what love looks like.
Right, when it comes to thegeneralness of that word love,
(11:35):
and depending on what you'regoing through, you might see it
appear or be present in yourlife in different ways, but you
couldn't have seen it unless youhad gone through something
previously.
Right, and I'm about to getreally spiritual with you guys
for a minute here, but I thinkit's really crucial for me to
(11:56):
kind of lean into this for amoment to describe why I think
our identity is so importantwhen it comes to this journey of
entrepreneurship and livingwith chronic illness.
The Bible says that God is love.
That's it, point blank.
Is love the personification,like if we were looking up the
word it says.
(12:16):
He is that, however, we areseeing or not seeing, some of us
, different reflections of thatlove that we may not have had an
opportunity to see had certainthings not had happened.
So just give a little historyreal quick here.
God is love.
We know that when he createdAdam and Eve, in the beginning,
(12:37):
they had none of this stuff thatwe deal with today, right, they
didn't have any of the drama,the imperfection, death, sin,
all of that stuff.
They didn't have all of that.
They were brought into abeautiful paradise and that is a
beautiful representation ofGod's love, right.
And then they decided to sin.
(12:59):
Like they decided to sin, theydecided to disobey God and in
that instant of their decisionto not reciprocate and show that
appreciation for that love thatwas shown them, they then
therefore completely missed thewhole point of the love that was
(13:19):
shown them.
However, when they took thataction, today us we get to see a
different aspect of that love,because of their imperfection or
because of their sin.
We get to see a differentaspect of God's love because now
we get to see how it works inour behalf personally and not
(13:43):
just personally but like overtime, what that has looked like
and how that love, what that haslooked like and how that love
if you understand the Bible, howthat love has transcended time,
will transcend death, willtranscend every horrible thing
we've seen on this planet andundo all of it, right.
(14:03):
But that's at the identity, thecore identity of God.
He is love.
The core identity of God.
He is love.
But the perspective and thesituation makes us see it
differently, and that can happenwith us.
If you are a really kind person,you know deep down in your
heart you want to care forpeople, and maybe part of that
(14:27):
was created in a world where youwere in an environment where
you had to take care of otherpeople because they weren't
taking care of themselves, andso it became to feel like a way
of taking care of others meant away for you to keep safety for
yourself.
So it was a thing you had to do, but innately it's just a thing
(14:50):
that's in you.
And as you've grown up, you'vehad trauma responses to some of
those things, right, and what Imean by trauma responses?
You've sought out people tocare for.
You'll put yourself at the endof the list of to-dos, but you
will ultimately take care ofyourself on the very bare
minimum, right.
(15:11):
So your identity is to care forothers.
That is a beautiful part ofyour identity, but when you are
healing and going through ajourney of shifting, you might
start losing the fact of who youare because you're like.
Well, I no longer identify assomeone who wants to care for
(15:33):
people, because now I see thatwhen I've taken care of people,
I've taken care of people whoonly wanted something from me or
I was seeking some kind ofvalidation, and now I no longer
need that validation.
I no longer need to servepeople in that way and I no
longer am okay with being takenadvantage of, right yeah?
(15:53):
So you might think, well, thenI'm not any longer a person who
loves to care for people.
Is that really true?
Maybe you are innately a personwho cares for people, but now
you're doing it with boundaries.
Now you're doing it with anequal amount of way of taking
(16:15):
care of you and being okay withnot being the take care of all
of those people and you can fallin love more and more with the
identity of like.
I know how to take care ofpeople in a way that's good and
safe, and more than safe allowsme to have joy and peace, while
(16:39):
also having boundaries in place,or having my own peace in place
while I do that for others,right?
And so I'm sharing this to saythat, wherever you are in your
journey, and if you've been onthis journey with me and if
(16:59):
you've ever felt like Nikita,you have it all together, nikita
, you're doing everythingperfectly.
Or if you were listening tothis podcast this year and I
literally jumped off the face ofthe earth there for a minute
for about two and a half monthsand start recording and
producing episodes, and startrecording and producing episodes
and you might feel disappointedor like, oh, if she can't do it
(17:29):
, then I can't do it.
I want you to remember that Iam not perfect and I really do
talk my walk, walk my talk.
However, you say that in thesense that when I need to take
time for myself, I am not afraidof pressing pause.
It might be abrupt, it may notbe planned.
I like to plan my pauses, Ilike to have a strategy around
(17:50):
that, but sometimes life doesn'twork like that and as much as
we hear on social media andother podcast hosts and other
things that people are talkingabout, like, you want to
schedule this and you don't wantto burn out this and you want
to do all that.
We are human beings and we areconstantly in and out of flow of
healing, getting out of burnoutin different areas being
(18:13):
triggered in different areascircumstances, burnout in
different areas being triggeredin different areas,
circumstances.
But you find the ease when yougive yourself permission to flow
through them.
And that is my point and thatis part of my whole mission, of
(18:35):
why I named the show in thebeginning Crafted to Thrive, why
it's still a tagline for me,because, no matter where you are
in the ebbs and flows of ourjourney and your journey, of how
you view yourself, you stillhave the capacity to thrive
because we can be resilient andwe can thrive.
And it can come with ease whenwe allow ourselves to do it
(19:00):
without worrying what otherpeople think, say or do or
believe, because we have nocontrol over them None
whatsoever.
And as I'm in my journey andthis year has been really one of
those like, leaning into thisbelief of like this can be easy
if I let it be and I know I talkI have episodes where I'm like
(19:20):
let it be easy, let it be easy.
This is so true.
I'm living in that right now.
Let it be easy, let it be light, let the work be the work and
just go through the work and letit happen how it needs to
happen Press pause, take a stopif you need to.
There's no giving up unless youliterally never try anything
(19:45):
ever again.
Okay, so give yourself thatpermission if you need it.
If you wanted someone to saythat to you, I'm giving you the
permission, not that you need mypermission at all.
Okay, so I'm sharing thisbecause when you come into my
(20:07):
containers, if you come into anyof my coaching programs, my
private coaching programs, Ihave frameworks, I have tools to
help you to have more ease andeverything.
But the biggest thing, I wantanyone to know who is a creative
, who is a woman living withchronic illness, who is a person
trying to just live theirday-to-day with whatever upside
down life circumstances or arewanting to start and grow a
(20:32):
business.
Don't let the noise of otherpeople's so-called success that
looks perfect fool you to thinkthat it was easy or make you
think that they somehow havesome kind of magic, something
they don't.
They don't.
They've just given themselvespermission to do it the way that
(20:54):
works for them and it may looklike a reel of exciting, happy
things happening all the time,but I can guarantee you, in
behind the scenes, the 99% ofthe rest of their life.
There's so many things youdon't see and you don't know,
and they're sharing with you away that you could potentially
(21:16):
have more ease and capacity fordoing it, based on what they've
learned, and it can work.
It may not work and it has alot more to do with us
implementing that work than itdoes them right.
So I take a responsibility fordoing everything in my power to
(21:39):
make it easier for you to takesteps, to take action, to create
whatever version of successthat looks like for you.
But I cannot takeresponsibility for the work, the
actual work that you decide todo and the permission you decide
to give yourself and how you doit.
(21:59):
That is on you.
I can tell you all day.
I give you permission to slowdown.
I give you permission to takeit easy and give you permission
to let it be easy and give youpermission to do what you can
when you can, but only you canactually act on that.
So if you're finding yourselfin a situation where you're
(22:21):
stuck, you've been doing,whatever it is you're doing by
yourself.
Do a couple of things.
Seek that which is greater.
Seek that which is greater,greater than us.
Okay, it's one of the mostgrounding and literal science.
(22:44):
Science has proven that we allhave a spiritual, that which is
greater need.
Okay, all of us seek it indifferent ways.
I'm not going to get into morein that, but all of us seek in a
different ways.
I'm not going to get into morethan that, but all of us seek in
different ways.
Find the way.
That is true, okay.
Second, ask for help.
(23:07):
Get a therapist, work with atherapist, get a coach.
Those are the two people.
The reason why I don't sayfriends or family.
I love friends or family aslike a community kind of thing,
but most of us need a thirdparty that is not connected to
(23:28):
our life to really bounce thethings that we need to see,
without us being alarmed ortriggered too badly, to be able
to get the support we need.
So this is why I believe,especially for my creative
entrepreneurs and especially,especially for those of us
living with chronic illness, weneed therapy.
(23:49):
And if you're a woman of color,you need therapy.
Okay, we need therapy.
And number three.
Number three is again, thatcommunity, who you surround
yourself with, who you allow tobe in your space, can affect you
(24:09):
in so many different ways, andit may mean putting boundaries
up to protect yourself from thepeople that you want to be the
closest to you, but they justaren't there yet.
Okay, loves, this was a littlebit different than all of the
(24:30):
things, but I just thought I'dshare this with you.
I know this year has been alittle weird for the show.
There will probably be somemore changes as far as the show
is concerned, but you can expectepisodes as frequently as we
can do them so far.
We'll have some interviewscoming up over the next couple
(24:51):
of weeks.
You'll hear some solo episodesfrom me in the future.
I know the next episode isgoing to be an interview with a
I think we're going to be doingit's about money, money, money,
money.
We're talking about money.
There's a future episode I'mreally looking forward to
(25:11):
sharing with you all.
It's about eldest daughters.
So if you are the oldestdaughter in a family, I love
that episode that I recordedwith.
Nikkei is the person that wedid that with and there's just a
lot of like life stuff comingup for the show and business
conversations.
Like I said, the next episodewill probably be about money or
(25:32):
it will be about self-care.
The next one will be aboutself-care, I'm sorry.
After that will be money andthen after that you'll just have
to stay tuned.
But definitely more episodescoming out soon and, of course,
the Chronically you andProfitable program is live and
kicking.
We'd love to have you.
If you have any questions, goto the show note.
This is our community where youcan start and grow an online
(25:53):
service-based business orcoaching business and get
support.
If you are starting or if youare stuck in your current
business right now and you'renot seeing the things you want
to see in that business, we'rehere to help you create what
that looks like for you in a waythat honors your health and
your life, and we do it in a wayspecifically for my chronic
(26:13):
illness warriors that helpsupport you in your journey
living with chronic illness.
So it's not harder for you.
We're actually working.
I'm going to be working onsomething fun, which is a quiz
for my folks that are inside ofthe program to have, kind of
like a quiz to let you know ifyou're feeling this or this this
(26:36):
way.
This is what you will havecapacity for today or this week.
Here's where you focus, so I'mreally excited about that.
And we're working on a newportal, but just a little bit
refreshed with shorter videos tomake it a little bit easier for
you to consume.
So a lot of cool things are inthe works, and the program
(26:57):
itself right now is stillamazing Like it is amazing and
the folks that are in thereworks.
And the program itself rightnow is still amazing Like it is
amazing and the folks that arein there are amazing.
So we would love to have you,but in the meantime, as always,
we look forward to seeing you inour next episode and thank you
for joining me for this one.
That's a wrap for this episodeof Business with Chronic Illness
.
If you would like to start andgrow an online coaching business
(27:19):
with me, head to the show notesto click a link to book a sales
call and learn how to makemoney with chronic illness.
You can also check out ourwebsite at wwwcraftedtothrivecom
for this episode's show notesand join our email list to get
exclusive content where I coachyou on how to chronically grow a
profitable business whileliving with chronic illness.
Until next time, remember yes,you are crafted to thrive.
Welcome to Business with Chronic Illness,
the globally ranked podcast forwomen living with chronic
illness who want to start andgrow a business online.
I'm your host.
Nikita Williams and I went fromliving a normal life to all of
a sudden being in constant pain,with no answers to being
diagnosed with multiple chronicillnesses and trying to make a
livable income.
I faced the challenge ofadapting traditional business
(00:27):
advice to fit my uniquecircumstances with chronic
illness, feeling frustrated andmore burned out than I already
was.
While managing my chronicillness to becoming an
award-winning coach with aflexible, sustainable online
coaching business, I found thesurprisingly simple steps to
starting and growing aprofitable business without
compromising my health or mypeace.
(00:48):
Since then, I've helped dozensof women just like you learn how
to do the same.
If you're ready to create athriving business that aligns
with your lifestyle andwell-being, you're in the right
place.
Together, we're shifting thenarrative of what's possible for
women with chronic illness andhow we make a living.
(01:35):
This is Business with ChronicIllness.
Hello, a long time in a verylong time, a long time in a very
long time, and it must besomething to do with the
thirties, because when I thinkabout this, I think about Adele,
(01:59):
her song, like her last album,I think about some of the folks
that I follow and just women Italk to who are around my age,
that are like mid thirties, andI think you may relate to this
or you may be surprised to evenhear me talking about this.
I first wanted to say to anyonewho has listened to this
(02:23):
podcast when it was she'sCrafted to Thrive, crafted to
Thrive to Business with ChronicIllness or maybe you're new here
I want to say for anyone whohas seen this or listened to my
show, who has engaged with mycontent, and for anyone who
(02:46):
thought or perceived that I amin some way, shape or form,
perfect or make this look easyor tout, that this journey of
living with chronic illness,running a business, being a
woman, of living with chronicillness, running a business,
(03:07):
being a woman, being a Blackwoman, being a wife, being a
sister, being a friend, issomehow, with all of my
frameworks, all of the lessonsI've learned, all of the
personal development I've doneis easy.
I am sorry.
I am sorry if that is theperception I gave you and if
it's not, thank you.
I'm thankful that that ishopefully not the perception I
(03:30):
gave you.
And often when I hear from youall, whether you're my clients,
(04:14):
whether you're my past clients,whether you are in some kind of
magic bullet, if you will, formaking this journey so easy that
you feel no pain, youexperience no pain.
It's just like a switch.
And I had a realization thisyear, even more so.
(04:35):
I've never felt like anythingthat any human does is
effortless.
I just really think that's asales term, a copywriting term.
I believe that we can createease in the work that we do and
the healing that we do and thetransformation that we do, by
(04:59):
the way we bring ourselves tothat work or to that
circumstance, by how we treatourselves, how we love ourselves
, how we honor ourselves andgive ourselves dignity and
self-compassion.
I think we can find ease in thework that we do.
(05:20):
But don't get me wrong, don'tget it twisted that ease does
not mean there is no hard work.
Ease does not mean that thereis not pain.
Ease does not mean that itdoesn't take time.
Ease does not mean that it isgoing to come easily, right, and
(05:46):
I know by definition that wordis basically meaning effortless
or with no effort, and I reallydon't think there is a English
word that I have found thatreally describes what I am
trying to express in thisepisode, which is when things
(06:07):
are hard and you're goingthrough challenges, and I think
this just goes to also my ownbelief system, my own spiritual
belief system on why hard workand peace and joy can coexist.
And so this goes to a point thatI feel like in the last year
(06:31):
and a half or so, in my ownjourney of creating content and
supporting you all, I had anexperience.
I had an experience about Iwant to say it's been about a
(06:53):
year ago where I was shook alittle bit, off of my foundation
a bit.
I was shook from an experiencewhere I was taken aback by an
experience, and it made me notfall out of faith or fall out of
love or fall out of caring forpeople, but it did make me
(07:15):
question my motives, it made mequestion who I really am deep
inside and and it really took meaback, okay, and that led to a
lot of aha moments that led tome really going into therapy.
(07:36):
That led me to going reallydeep into my spirituality.
That also led me into a newphysical, chronic challenge
flare ups.
It's led me into a depressionthat comes and goes that I've
never really experienced, otherthan when I had my hysterectomy.
It led me to a burnout that hadnothing to do with my business,
(07:59):
but everything to do with meand how I hold space for people
and how I care and love, and howI care and love.
(08:21):
So I'm sharing this to say thatthe healing and the growing and
the business journey is exactlythat, our journey.
And if you are looking for itto be easy, with no pain, there
will be no growth.
You will stay where you are,and I recently had this huge aha
(08:42):
moment and it's still hard forme to work through.
I'm still working through, butthis is the beauty, I think, of
growth and also the reason why Icame to this realization hard
work does not mean that youcan't have ease, but it also
doesn't mean that you don't havepain and joy at the same time.
(09:05):
So if you have been feelinglike you're going through a
healing journey, you're goingthrough a really difficult time
and you're learning aboutyourself.
Maybe it's in your personal life, maybe it's in your business,
and you realize you need to takea step back.
You need to reevaluate wherethings are.
(09:26):
You need to identify whatreally is the thing that lights
you up, what really is yourstrengths, what really are the
things you're good at, andyou're questioning those things.
When you're in that season ofquestioning, I want you to
remember that, questioning whoyou are and what you're going
(09:46):
through, like who you are at thecore ultimately, like if you're
questioning who you are at thecore, like your identity as a
person, love on you some more.
Remember why those things arepart of you yes, life and things
that didn't go necessarily theway that were the most the best
(10:08):
way for us, the most the bestway for us.
There is aspects of ouridentity that was shaped or that
was fostered or created in thatearnest, if you will.
That help you survive and theycan help you to thrive.
(10:28):
And also remember that aspectsof those things might look
different now because of theunhealthy way you may have been
leading into that identity as asafety, and now where you are
now, you need to lean in adifferent direction in order to
thrive, in order to heal, inorder to feel more joy and peace
(10:52):
.
It doesn't mean, at the core,your identity has shifted.
It just means your perspectiveof that identity has.
Okay, so you know, it's kind oflike when we think about
different qualities aboutourselves or just different
qualities in general.
Let's just not even putourselves in it like different
facets of love.
(11:13):
Some people are, there'sdifferent love languages, some
of us have certain ways that welove connecting with people,
love to receive love, and itlooks different.
It just doesn't mean thatthere's one type of one version
of what love looks like.
Right, when it comes to thegeneralness of that word love,
(11:35):
and depending on what you'regoing through, you might see it
appear or be present in yourlife in different ways, but you
couldn't have seen it unless youhad gone through something
previously.
Right, and I'm about to getreally spiritual with you guys
for a minute here, but I thinkit's really crucial for me to
(11:56):
kind of lean into this for amoment to describe why I think
our identity is so importantwhen it comes to this journey of
entrepreneurship and livingwith chronic illness.
The Bible says that God is love.
That's it, point blank.
Is love the personification,like if we were looking up the
word it says.
(12:16):
He is that, however, we areseeing or not seeing, some of us
, different reflections of thatlove that we may not have had an
opportunity to see had certainthings not had happened.
So just give a little historyreal quick here.
God is love.
We know that when he createdAdam and Eve, in the beginning,
(12:37):
they had none of this stuff thatwe deal with today, right, they
didn't have any of the drama,the imperfection, death, sin,
all of that stuff.
They didn't have all of that.
They were brought into abeautiful paradise and that is a
beautiful representation ofGod's love, right.
And then they decided to sin.
(12:59):
Like they decided to sin, theydecided to disobey God and in
that instant of their decisionto not reciprocate and show that
appreciation for that love thatwas shown them, they then
therefore completely missed thewhole point of the love that was
(13:19):
shown them.
However, when they took thataction, today us we get to see a
different aspect of that love,because of their imperfection or
because of their sin.
We get to see a differentaspect of God's love because now
we get to see how it works inour behalf personally and not
(13:43):
just personally but like overtime, what that has looked like
and how that love, what that haslooked like and how that love
if you understand the Bible, howthat love has transcended time,
will transcend death, willtranscend every horrible thing
we've seen on this planet andundo all of it, right.
(14:03):
But that's at the identity, thecore identity of God.
He is love.
The core identity of God.
He is love.
But the perspective and thesituation makes us see it
differently, and that can happenwith us.
If you are a really kind person,you know deep down in your
heart you want to care forpeople, and maybe part of that
(14:27):
was created in a world where youwere in an environment where
you had to take care of otherpeople because they weren't
taking care of themselves, andso it became to feel like a way
of taking care of others meant away for you to keep safety for
yourself.
So it was a thing you had to do, but innately it's just a thing
(14:50):
that's in you.
And as you've grown up, you'vehad trauma responses to some of
those things, right, and what Imean by trauma responses?
You've sought out people tocare for.
You'll put yourself at the endof the list of to-dos, but you
will ultimately take care ofyourself on the very bare
minimum, right.
(15:11):
So your identity is to care forothers.
That is a beautiful part ofyour identity, but when you are
healing and going through ajourney of shifting, you might
start losing the fact of who youare because you're like.
Well, I no longer identify assomeone who wants to care for
(15:33):
people, because now I see thatwhen I've taken care of people,
I've taken care of people whoonly wanted something from me or
I was seeking some kind ofvalidation, and now I no longer
need that validation.
I no longer need to servepeople in that way and I no
longer am okay with being takenadvantage of, right yeah?
(15:53):
So you might think, well, thenI'm not any longer a person who
loves to care for people.
Is that really true?
Maybe you are innately a personwho cares for people, but now
you're doing it with boundaries.
Now you're doing it with anequal amount of way of taking
(16:15):
care of you and being okay withnot being the take care of all
of those people and you can fallin love more and more with the
identity of like.
I know how to take care ofpeople in a way that's good and
safe, and more than safe allowsme to have joy and peace, while
(16:39):
also having boundaries in place,or having my own peace in place
while I do that for others,right?
And so I'm sharing this to saythat, wherever you are in your
journey, and if you've been onthis journey with me and if
(16:59):
you've ever felt like Nikita,you have it all together, nikita
, you're doing everythingperfectly.
Or if you were listening tothis podcast this year and I
literally jumped off the face ofthe earth there for a minute
for about two and a half monthsand start recording and
producing episodes, and startrecording and producing episodes
and you might feel disappointedor like, oh, if she can't do it
(17:29):
, then I can't do it.
I want you to remember that Iam not perfect and I really do
talk my walk, walk my talk.
However, you say that in thesense that when I need to take
time for myself, I am not afraidof pressing pause.
It might be abrupt, it may notbe planned.
I like to plan my pauses, Ilike to have a strategy around
(17:50):
that, but sometimes life doesn'twork like that and as much as
we hear on social media andother podcast hosts and other
things that people are talkingabout, like, you want to
schedule this and you don't wantto burn out this and you want
to do all that.
We are human beings and we areconstantly in and out of flow of
healing, getting out of burnoutin different areas being
(18:13):
triggered in different areascircumstances, burnout in
different areas being triggeredin different areas,
circumstances.
But you find the ease when yougive yourself permission to flow
through them.
And that is my point and thatis part of my whole mission, of
(18:35):
why I named the show in thebeginning Crafted to Thrive, why
it's still a tagline for me,because, no matter where you are
in the ebbs and flows of ourjourney and your journey, of how
you view yourself, you stillhave the capacity to thrive
because we can be resilient andwe can thrive.
And it can come with ease whenwe allow ourselves to do it
(19:00):
without worrying what otherpeople think, say or do or
believe, because we have nocontrol over them None
whatsoever.
And as I'm in my journey andthis year has been really one of
those like, leaning into thisbelief of like this can be easy
if I let it be and I know I talkI have episodes where I'm like
(19:20):
let it be easy, let it be easy.
This is so true.
I'm living in that right now.
Let it be easy, let it be light, let the work be the work and
just go through the work and letit happen how it needs to
happen Press pause, take a stopif you need to.
There's no giving up unless youliterally never try anything
(19:45):
ever again.
Okay, so give yourself thatpermission if you need it.
If you wanted someone to saythat to you, I'm giving you the
permission, not that you need mypermission at all.
Okay, so I'm sharing thisbecause when you come into my
(20:07):
containers, if you come into anyof my coaching programs, my
private coaching programs, Ihave frameworks, I have tools to
help you to have more ease andeverything.
But the biggest thing, I wantanyone to know who is a creative
, who is a woman living withchronic illness, who is a person
trying to just live theirday-to-day with whatever upside
down life circumstances or arewanting to start and grow a
(20:32):
business.
Don't let the noise of otherpeople's so-called success that
looks perfect fool you to thinkthat it was easy or make you
think that they somehow havesome kind of magic, something
they don't.
They don't.
They've just given themselvespermission to do it the way that
(20:54):
works for them and it may looklike a reel of exciting, happy
things happening all the time,but I can guarantee you, in
behind the scenes, the 99% ofthe rest of their life.
There's so many things youdon't see and you don't know,
and they're sharing with you away that you could potentially
(21:16):
have more ease and capacity fordoing it, based on what they've
learned, and it can work.
It may not work and it has alot more to do with us
implementing that work than itdoes them right.
So I take a responsibility fordoing everything in my power to
(21:39):
make it easier for you to takesteps, to take action, to create
whatever version of successthat looks like for you.
But I cannot takeresponsibility for the work, the
actual work that you decide todo and the permission you decide
to give yourself and how you doit.
(21:59):
That is on you.
I can tell you all day.
I give you permission to slowdown.
I give you permission to takeit easy and give you permission
to let it be easy and give youpermission to do what you can
when you can, but only you canactually act on that.
So if you're finding yourselfin a situation where you're
(22:21):
stuck, you've been doing,whatever it is you're doing by
yourself.
Do a couple of things.
Seek that which is greater.
Seek that which is greater,greater than us.
Okay, it's one of the mostgrounding and literal science.
(22:44):
Science has proven that we allhave a spiritual, that which is
greater need.
Okay, all of us seek it indifferent ways.
I'm not going to get into morein that, but all of us seek in a
different ways.
I'm not going to get into morethan that, but all of us seek in
different ways.
Find the way.
That is true, okay.
Second, ask for help.
(23:07):
Get a therapist, work with atherapist, get a coach.
Those are the two people.
The reason why I don't sayfriends or family.
I love friends or family aslike a community kind of thing,
but most of us need a thirdparty that is not connected to
(23:28):
our life to really bounce thethings that we need to see,
without us being alarmed ortriggered too badly, to be able
to get the support we need.
So this is why I believe,especially for my creative
entrepreneurs and especially,especially for those of us
living with chronic illness, weneed therapy.
(23:49):
And if you're a woman of color,you need therapy.
Okay, we need therapy.
And number three.
Number three is again, thatcommunity, who you surround
yourself with, who you allow tobe in your space, can affect you
(24:09):
in so many different ways, andit may mean putting boundaries
up to protect yourself from thepeople that you want to be the
closest to you, but they justaren't there yet.
Okay, loves, this was a littlebit different than all of the
(24:30):
things, but I just thought I'dshare this with you.
I know this year has been alittle weird for the show.
There will probably be somemore changes as far as the show
is concerned, but you can expectepisodes as frequently as we
can do them so far.
We'll have some interviewscoming up over the next couple
(24:51):
of weeks.
You'll hear some solo episodesfrom me in the future.
I know the next episode isgoing to be an interview with a
I think we're going to be doingit's about money, money, money,
money.
We're talking about money.
There's a future episode I'mreally looking forward to
(25:11):
sharing with you all.
It's about eldest daughters.
So if you are the oldestdaughter in a family, I love
that episode that I recordedwith.
Nikkei is the person that wedid that with and there's just a
lot of like life stuff comingup for the show and business
conversations.
Like I said, the next episodewill probably be about money or
(25:32):
it will be about self-care.
The next one will be aboutself-care, I'm sorry.
After that will be money andthen after that you'll just have
to stay tuned.
But definitely more episodescoming out soon and, of course,
the Chronically you andProfitable program is live and
kicking.
We'd love to have you.
If you have any questions, goto the show note.
This is our community where youcan start and grow an online
(25:53):
service-based business orcoaching business and get
support.
If you are starting or if youare stuck in your current
business right now and you'renot seeing the things you want
to see in that business, we'rehere to help you create what
that looks like for you in a waythat honors your health and
your life, and we do it in a wayspecifically for my chronic
(26:13):
illness warriors that helpsupport you in your journey
living with chronic illness.
So it's not harder for you.
We're actually working.
I'm going to be working onsomething fun, which is a quiz
for my folks that are inside ofthe program to have, kind of
like a quiz to let you know ifyou're feeling this or this this
(26:36):
way.
This is what you will havecapacity for today or this week.
Here's where you focus, so I'mreally excited about that.
And we're working on a newportal, but just a little bit
refreshed with shorter videos tomake it a little bit easier for
you to consume.
So a lot of cool things are inthe works, and the program
(26:57):
itself right now is stillamazing Like it is amazing and
the folks that are in thereworks.
And the program itself rightnow is still amazing Like it is
amazing and the folks that arein there are amazing.
So we would love to have you,but in the meantime, as always,
we look forward to seeing you inour next episode and thank you
for joining me for this one.
That's a wrap for this episodeof Business with Chronic Illness
.
If you would like to start andgrow an online coaching business
(27:19):
with me, head to the show notesto click a link to book a sales
call and learn how to makemoney with chronic illness.
You can also check out ourwebsite at wwwcraftedtothrivecom
for this episode's show notesand join our email list to get
exclusive content where I coachyou on how to chronically grow a
profitable business whileliving with chronic illness.
Until next time, remember yes,you are crafted to thrive.
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