October 25, 2024 • 54 mins
In this episode of Business with Chronic Illness, we’re diving into one of the biggest struggles for entrepreneurs living with chronic illness: building confidence while navigating the unique challenges of health flare-ups, brain fog, and energy limits. Join me and special guest, Janina Hamilton, as we uncover actionable steps to strengthen your confidence through imperfect, manageable actions—without pushing yourself to the point of burnout.
We'll discuss why taking action is the key to building lasting confidence, how perfectionism might hold you back, and the critical role self-care plays in supporting your entrepreneurial journey. Whether you're battling imposter syndrome or struggling to keep momentum in your business, this episode offers practical insights on how to move forward while honoring your health.
What You’ll Learn:
- How to build confidence by embracing imperfection and action, even on low-energy days
- Why perfectionism is sabotaging your progress (and how to break free from it)
- Simple strategies for taking action in your business without compromising your well-being
- The surprising role self-care plays in growing your confidence and business
- Real-life examples of how to find a balance between rest and action when living with chronic illness
If you're ready to break through the mental barriers and build confidence in both life and business—without sacrificing your health—this episode is for you!
Send Me A Text & Share Your QA's or Thoughts
Loved this episode? Leave a review: https://www.craftedtothrive.com/reviews/new/
Products We Love + Special Guest Gifts → Want to support the show and treat yourself? We’ve created a quick-access list of products I personally use and love, exclusive savings from podcast guests, and other gems that can help you live well and do business with chronic illness. Explore our faves + savings here!
Subscribe HERE to Chronically Profitable, A free exclusive weekly email series designed for creatives and women with chronic illnesses. You'll learn how to make a liveable income with your hobbies, professional skills, and innate talents by building a successful online coaching business with simple strategies that work for you, even on flare days, and feel better living with chronic illness.
To Start and Grow A Coaching or Service-Based Business with Chronic Illness, Book A Free Sales Call With Nikita Here.
Follow Nikita on Instagram
...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nikita Williams (00:04):
Welcome to Business with Chronic Illness,
the globally ranked podcast forwomen living with chronic
illness who want to start andgrow a business online.
I'm your host.
Nikita Williams and I went fromliving a normal life to all of
a sudden being in constant pain,with no answers to being
diagnosed with multiple chronicillnesses and trying to make a
livable income.
I faced the challenge ofadapting traditional business
(00:27):
advice to fit my uniquecircumstances with chronic
illness, feeling frustrated andmore burned out than I already
was.
While managing my chronicillness to becoming an
award-winning coach with aflexible, sustainable online
coaching business, I found thesurprisingly simple steps to
starting and growing aprofitable business without
compromising my health or mypeace.
(00:48):
Since then, I've helped dozensof women just like you learn how
to do the same.
If you're ready to create athriving business that aligns
with your lifestyle andwell-being, you're in the right
place.
Together, we're shifting thenarrative of what's possible for
women with chronic illness andhow we make a living.
(01:18):
This is Business with ChronicIllness.
I am so excited that today weare going to be talking about
confidence and how we can dothat through action.
How does that look like and howwe can do that through action.
How does that look like and howthat can be a challenge for us
living with chronic illness?
And I get to have thiswonderful conversation with a
really good friend of mine,janina, and I'm excited to
invite her to the show and I'lltell you a little bit more about
(01:40):
her and she'll tell you alittle bit more about herself,
but first I want to ask her whatdoes confidence mean to?
Janina Hamilton (01:46):
you yeah.
So it means doing in order tounderstand that you can do, and
then that leads to more doing.
I like that.
Nikita Williams (02:03):
Yeah, I like that.
You know, one of the things Ithink with confidence to your
point that you're saying is Iknow that for me and for a lot
of the people we talk to, likethe confidence to act in itself
is the hurdle right.
Like, like the confidence tofeel like you can do it, Like
(02:25):
you can pull the lever, that youdon't have to be perfect, which
we'll talk about a little bittoo, about perfectionism and
being confident and overcomingperfectionism.
How have you found that, justbefore you even get to the
acting part, where do you buildthe confidence in your brain to
(02:47):
even be thinking you can act?
Because a lot of people thinklike I just can't right.
A lot of conversations I have islike, well, I just can't I just
can't, and I think it has a lotto do with belief, a lot of
mindset, but what does that looklike from where you see working
with folks?
Janina Hamilton (03:06):
what does that look like from where you see
working with folks?
Yeah, so for sure, confidencecomes from doing right.
But what to your point?
How do you even start that?
How do you even believe?
So what I do with my clients isI take it a step back and I look
backwards and I get them topull out pen and paper.
Because if you keep it in yourhead, you know, yeah, like I
(03:29):
listened to a podcast one timeand he's like we can do one plus
one equals two, right, and twoplus two equals four.
But if you got something likeif you got 247 times 43, how
many people can do that in theirhead?
So why do we try to keep doingthings like build confidence and
unscramble emotions in our head?
(03:50):
In our head, yeah Right, pullout paper, pull out paper and we
write down all of the thingsthat you have accomplished
already.
And then you pick out thefavorite things that you've
accomplished already, and thisdoesn't even have to be related
to business.
What are the things that you'vedone just in your life?
And then we write down the listof things that you did to
(04:14):
accomplish those things.
Mm-hmm, and that already showsyou that you do have the
confidence.
You do have the will, you dohave the motivation already
there to move and take action.
Nikita Williams (04:28):
Yeah, totally so true, it is starting.
It is I like to call it.
It's like disrupting the lie.
It's disrupting the lie becausethere's we wouldn't be standing
here or sitting here or lyingdown in bed, wherever you are
listening to this podcast, ifyou took no action ever like.
That's just this lie that ourbrain likes to tell us to make
us feel safe in the context ofjust let's not do anything Right
(04:54):
.
So such a good point, such agood thought of like why, where
to go, start back, startbackwards.
I like to.
It's interesting.
I call it the confidence card.
I like have my clients dosomething similar and it is such
a powerful tool because,especially if you look, just
looking back at that's like abomb to your belief system there
(05:16):
for a minute to be like yeahright.
Like you also realize, you didthat through a lot of really
hard stuff too, right?
So such a good point.
So before we go on, I want tojust let you guys know a little
bit about Janina.
Janina is like one of thesweetest women I've gotten to
(05:37):
meet and it's thanks to herhusband I've got to meet her
first of all.
In that way I've gotten to knowyou guys.
She is an amazing coach.
She has been in the world ofentrepreneurship for a very long
time.
Me and her kind of startedtalking about business and
things when she was doingbookkeeping and accounting and
(05:59):
all of that jazz.
And she's been aroundentrepreneurs doing entrepreneur
things while also living withmany chronic illnesses and her
husband lives with chronicillness as well and so she
understands, like when we starttalking about confidence and I
feel like in the context of theentrepreneur world, we do hear a
lot about taking action and da,da, da, da.
(06:20):
And I'm always like, yeah, whatabout this?
What about when you are inbrain fog and pain?
What about pulling the lever inthose times?
Because advice that wesometimes hear around like just
rest until you feel better yes,that's important, we do need to
rest and do those things.
But if we were to perpetuallyrest, we would never get
(06:40):
anything done outside of resting.
And so when you talk about this, you talk about this very much
from a scientific standpoint ofhow actions is important and
tell us a little bit more about,like, how you came to now doing
this more full-time as a coacharound confidence and helping
those with you know with intheir entrepreneur journey.
Janina Hamilton (07:04):
Yeah.
So the reason I'm even heredoing this is because the
bookkeeping business no longerserved my chronic illness.
We'll just put that one outthere.
I do still have, I know why butyeah, I'll tell you Okay.
I'll tell you I'm good.
So when you have the type ofbusiness that bookkeeping is,
(07:25):
that requires your clients togive you something in order for
you to do your job, and if theydon't give you those things in
order for you to do your job,then that puts you behind and it
puts more stress on your body,your mind, all of that trying to
make sure that you live up towhat you put in your contract
(07:47):
saying that you would do.
And then it messes up the wholeschedule of everything that I
had and was ready to do, and Ithought it was the best thing in
the world, especially when Ifirst started.
But as time went on, you getmore clients, which was fine,
the workload was fine.
Clients, which was fine withthe workload was fine.
(08:10):
But the more people you have,the more people don't do what
you ask them to do.
Yeah, and so you know, if I'mnot getting receipts by the
fifth, I can't give you reportsby the 10th, and so I just
stopped marketing it.
That's what happened.
I just stopped marketing itbecause I didn't want to do it
anymore anyways.
So I have like two or threeclients left and while Chris was
in the hospital a couple ofyears ago when he came home,
(08:32):
which you know, incidentally.
Today I looked on my Facebookmemories and today was the day
he came home two years ago.
Oh, wow, yeah, after havingsurgery and all of that, I still
did the bookkeeping work whilehe was in in the hospital and
everything because I could.
It was it's literally somethingI could do from my laptop all
the time.
But then we were like, okay,well, what can we do together?
(08:52):
Like is there something that wecan do together?
Because he does the video,videography and photography?
Like what can we do online thatwould help us to be more free
together?
And so, like we started apodcast that only has like a
handful of episodes.
We were going to be like acouple's chronically ill couple
relationship, how to have a full, active life thing, which I
(09:17):
think we're probably might pickback up at some point, because I
started playing with reels andstuff on it again, I've cracked
a code on that and I'm so superexcited about that.
But so we looked at likedifferent, like communication
type certifications that wecould get online.
And so I got an emotionalintelligence certification and
(09:38):
Chris, he still hasn't finishedit after almost two years his
REBT training and that was goingto help us help couples to get
over the roadblocks and all ofthat almost two years, his REBT
training and that was going tohelp us help couples to, you
know, get over the roadblocksand all of that and feel better
while working together.
Well, since he didn't finishhis and I finished mine, I said
this stuff is great and I'mgoing to figure out how to use
(09:58):
it.
And so that's where thisbusiness came from.
It's gone through a fewiterations, but it's back to
where it started.
I think at first it was okay.
Well, you take the emotionalintelligence assessment.
This is where my action comesin, right.
Like all right, I've got, I'mdone with this.
So I need to figure out howthis can help people.
(10:19):
So I just put it out thereonline.
I said I've cause.
The podcast was already up andrunning.
So I said I take the assessment, we'll work together for six
weeks.
That's how I'm going to learnwho needs what and how.
And I got four clients justgoing hey, this is the stuff
I've been learning.
And they were like, yeah, let'sdo this.
(10:40):
So, and I wasn't able to do iton my own schedule.
even though I still had thebookkeeping business, I was able
to have those meetings andeverything.
And by letting people know upfront that I have this illness,
then they're like okay, if Ihave to reschedule, then they
already know.
I just am such an advocate forthat Like if you have a chronic
illness and you have clients,please tell them Yep.
Nikita Williams (11:05):
I have a whole episode I think it's like
episode like 10, which is crazyor something like that where I'm
like, should you tell peopleyou have a chronic illness, and
basically, and then I'm like,yes, Just tell them.
Janina Hamilton (11:15):
Most people will understand.
They will understand more ifyou go ahead and tell them up
front than if you have to cancel, and they're just like well,
why them up front?
Than if you have to cancel, andthey're just like well, why?
Because they don't understand.
Maybe they don't fullyunderstand anyways, because they
don't have chronic illnessthemselves.
But if you do tell them I'mstill going to do your work, I'm
still here with you and for you.
You let them know, then they'remuch more likely to be
(11:38):
understanding for you.
So I did that and then I took acourse on how to like build my
signature, a signature course,and it didn't do as well as I
like.
The principles were great, butI wasn't ready for it.
I think I don't think that Ihad done enough in that that one
area to have enough information, as much information as I have
(12:02):
now.
But I did end up starting likea membership for self-care.
It turned into self-care whichis even deeper into the mindset,
and now it's self-care forchronically ill women with
businesses.
That's what it is, that's whatthe membership is, and I'm right
now in the middle of creating acourse.
(12:23):
Actually, the course is donefrom the women that have been in
the middle of creating a course.
Actually, the course is donefrom the women that work that
have been in the membership withbusinesses and they've taken
the course and they've given metheir feedback and all of that.
And I'm about to put that outinto the world with a webinar
and all of that.
And I'm just like excitedbecause I feel like now I'm
where I'm supposed to be.
(12:43):
Excited because I feel like nowI'm where I'm supposed to be
Like, but it took me doingseveral different things to come
back to.
Okay, now this is it.
Yeah.
Nikita Williams (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, I mean we can have a whole just
conversation about that, right,like yeah, like we can.
I know I went like so far off,but no, I love it because you
all know if you're new to theshow then you don't know this
but the podcast hasn't alwaysbeen called business with
chronic illness.
It's been something I have beenresistant to forever.
We'll get to that later, butthat's the whole, like the
(13:17):
evolution, or the yeah, theevolution of so many that I have
just come to talk to within thecoaching industry.
So I have done pretty much asimilar roadmap as you.
I mean, when we first metbusiness-wise doing business
things, I was teaching you guyshow to like make your service
provider stuff work and all thatkind of stuff, and I was doing
(13:40):
my own digital marketing and,like I was doing that as well,
and I came across the sameroadblock or the same challenge
of I'm still in the boat ofrelying on other people and I
don't have control over that and, as someone living with chronic
illness, that's not as helpfulfor me from a mental, physical
(14:05):
standpoint.
So how do I make this work?
And so this is why you know, ofcourse I'm biased, because now
I've been coaching for a while,but this is why I think coaching
is like the best thing foranyone living with chronic
illness as a business to startwith, it allows you this
flexibility and it's literallyall on your terms, like,
(14:26):
literally, like.
It is one of the most flexibleways of being able to show up
and do what you need to do, butmost like 99% on your terms, and
that's why I love it.
And so I love that you sharedthat part of the story, because
I think a lot of people haveresistance to that thinking.
They think, well, you know, theservice provider is easy People
(14:49):
and I'm like it is.
It's not that the work isn'thard, it's the people, y'all,
it's the people.
It's the people and how theywork, and we can't control how
people work.
So we have to control how wework, and the best way I found
to your point it has been justoffering services like this,
where we create the containersand invite people to come into
(15:10):
our lane and they can decidewhether or not this is what they
want to do or not and if theydon't have to stay Exactly yeah,
yeah, right.
So, yes, I love that you sharedthat and I also love that you
shared you went through taking acourse and then took action to
decide how this is going to look, and it took many iterations
(15:32):
and I think a lot of us beatourselves up for something,
taking quote unquote manyiterations Like there's
something wrong with that.
Janina Hamilton (15:39):
No.
Nikita Williams (15:40):
Right.
So let's go back to that.
Let's talk about that from thecontents of confidence
iterations, things having to bedone over and over again or
redone or looking at a littledifferent.
How does that actually buildyour confidence?
How can we reframe this idea ofstarting and stopping tweaking
and going from being like I'm afailure to actually this means
(16:03):
I'm moving forward and I'mbuilding this muscle.
Janina Hamilton (16:06):
Yeah, that's a great question because we do
tend to get stuck when you'renot seeing the results that you
would like to.
But first I would like tocaution and say if you're not
seeing the results immediately,you might have to still just
keep going for a little bit.
Yeah, like I don't advocatestopping without trying your
(16:29):
strategy for at least a coupleof months, you know because you
have to.
If you're changing something up, your audience has to realize
that you're changing something.
Nikita Williams (16:38):
Yeah, so you have to give it time.
Janina Hamilton (16:41):
Yeah, you absolutely have to give it time,
and there's a part of me that'sreally impatient.
I'm just like, oh my goodness,it's not working.
I'm just going to stop this,you know and it's normal to feel
that way, because we do like tohave immediate results.
But stick with it for a littlebit.
If it doesn't work and also ifit doesn't feel right to you
(17:01):
anymore, then you know, makethat change, because you don't.
You also don't want to continueto do something that doesn't
feel good to you anymore as wellbecause your body will tell you
.
Nikita Williams (17:15):
And that part is so so, like huge here,
because I don't I don't knowabout you, janina, but I feel
like, especially in the contextof like coaches and generalized
coaching and I say generalizedcoaching even though there's
niche but people who aren'tthinking about the body and what
we do, that there's a lot ofadvice that's out there.
(17:37):
That's saying the counter, theopposite of that, right.
Like, you don't have to loveyour business, you don't have to
like what you do, you don'thave like it, all of these
things, right.
But how does that affectsomeone living with chronic
illness differently?
Janina Hamilton (17:53):
Yeah, cause you feel it differently.
You know, if you don't have achronic illness, you'll still
feel it, but you can workthrough it.
You can work past it, you canignore it.
But if you have a chronicillness that's causing you to be
in bed you know more than allyou know it's causing you to
flare, you're not enjoyingyourself.
Then what good is that You'renot going to make money, which
(18:16):
is, you know, part of?
Yes, you started your businessbecause you love it, you know,
because it's something that youwant to do.
You want to.
That's why I named the coursemake an impact.
You want to make an impact,right, you want to do that, but
you also do want to make money.
And you can't do that if you'renot having fun, because we feel
(18:37):
everything.
Nikita Williams (18:39):
It's like I don't think we.
I was talking to a client theother day and I was like we
dismiss one.
We most of us dismiss.
And this also goes back to,like your point of like putting
everything down, seeing whatyou're doing, like making even
even beyond, like what you'vedone in the past.
Something I have my clients donow is just like, especially
ones who have a bit of troublewith confidence of writing
(19:02):
things down, like what did youdo?
Like even if it's the smallestthing, of like getting out of
the bed and brushing your teeth,because you know there've been
times where you didn't do thatOkay, like you didn't have the
energy to do that.
But like even the small things,I think we kind of dismiss.
But we also dismiss theenergetic effects of what we are
(19:24):
doing, like we don't and how itshows up for us.
And so to your point yeah, youcan't just ignore if you don't
like something and you can'tjust push through it.
I mean you can.
It's just going to do more harmthan good and you will actually
end up losing money because youdid that, exactly, exactly.
Janina Hamilton (19:41):
And that's why, too, exactly, exactly.
And that's why, too, Iencourage self-care within my
container, because it gives youmore clarity on how you're
actually feeling.
Because if you're just workingand pushing through on something
, even if you do enjoy it, ifyou are pushing through past and
(20:02):
through your pain too much, tothe point where you're flaring
even on something you do enjoy,you're not going to enjoy it.
So in order to know whetheryou're actually enjoying it,
whether you actually feelaligned with what's going on,
you have to step back from itevery once in a while.
Nikita Williams (20:20):
You just have to.
Janina Hamilton (20:22):
You have to rest in a way that it's called
active.
I call it active rest.
You have to do something that'snot connected to making money.
You have to do it, Otherwiseyou're just stuck.
You will be stuck.
You'll never know what youreally want to do and where
you're actually at you'reactually at.
Nikita Williams (20:47):
Yeah, so I can hear in the background and in my
own mental brain of all of thewomen that I work with which,
the perfectionist head screamingright now Of course.
But what do you mean?
Active rest, like?
What do you mean about takingaction?
Because perfectionists actuallyare interesting to me.
They're very fascinating to mebecause, as much as they're
(21:07):
perfectionists, they actuallyact the least right, they
actually take the action theleast and to become perfect.
If we think about this in thecontext of just learning and how
we do in order to reachperfection, as imperfect people,
we almost have to keep failingin order to get to the best
(21:29):
version of something, and so, ifwe are in our perfectionist
mindset, we literally are nottaking the actions that we need
to take in order to reachso-called quote unquote, not
real, but let's imagine itperfection.
So how do we address that inthis conversation of confidence?
Janina Hamilton (21:50):
Yeah, I love that.
So that procrastination becausethat's what that is right, that
is procrastination.
It shows up in different forms.
It doesn't usually show up inthe form of doing something that
you actually enjoy.
It shows up in doing otherthings that you don't, that
you've been putting off and thatyou don't want to do, that are,
(22:13):
as you said before,energetically making you tired.
They're making you feel worse.
So if you pull back from thatand then do like I was saying,
with active rest and self-careand that's one of the things
that I give in my membership is25 activities that you can do
that take five minutes or less.
(22:34):
That are just ideas, just ideas, Because for a perfectionist,
the hardest thing to do is tofigure out what it is that you
want to do, Because you've beenso long, for so long, figuring
out or thinking about how you'regoing to take care of other
people that you don't know whatyou want to do for yourself
(22:55):
anymore, Absolutely.
So you either are helping otherpeople or you're running
yourself in the ground, thinkingabout the things that you want
to do for yourself but not doingthem.
So that's what I heard, thatpull back, here's your
activities.
And like I don't know, let mejust look at this month.
(23:17):
Okay, I can just tell you justoff what we've got going on this
month.
You know some of the things areenergetic, like stand barefoot
in the grass, you know, feel thesun on your skin.
You know there are things thataren't as like in depth, Like
most people think of self-careas like get in the bathtub right
, Do a face mask, get your nailsdone, go to a spa.
(23:40):
While those things are good andare part of self-care if you're
sick yeah doing.
Nikita Williams (23:47):
You know, like, yes, I am one of those that
needs to get in the bath all thetime, like that's what my
illness means right, like how Ifeel about massages, everybody's
like massage is so luxury, Imean I, I can be, but I do it
because I got to.
Janina Hamilton (24:01):
Exactly.
But then there are things thatyou can't do.
That every day, right.
So what do you do every day?
So you can declutter?
Right, you can eat dinneroutside.
List recent personalimprovements so not business
personal improvements colorwindow, shop birdwatch Take
(24:26):
yourself away from what's goingon and that will bring you back
to okay.
Now I'm ready to actually dosomething, because that noise,
that perfectionism, is noise.
It becomes white noise in yourhead and it's negative self-talk
and you've got to get out ofyour head in order to take
action.
So that's what we do.
(24:48):
I love it.
I love it, yeah, and we talkevery day about like, like in
the membership.
We talk every day about whatyou've done, you have to do, you
need to do something every day,even if it's just for five
minutes for yourself.
That does not include makingmoney.
You have to take a break everyday.
Nikita Williams (25:07):
Yeah, and you know it's a part of, I like to
say, with my clients and with,just in general, just the way I
live my life.
You have to believe that takingtime for yourself will benefit
you not just like energeticallyand physically, but also
financially.
Like I think we are, we'reconditioned in this world that
(25:30):
we live in right now where it'svery much like work, eat, sleep,
work, Like that's what we do,and so obviously we like, we are
craving for the likeextravagant, like travel and
vacations, because those are allthings that, like you get to
separate from like working, andthen you could explore different
(25:50):
things, but it's just for abrief amount of time.
But there's 365 days of theyear, Right, and so we have 24
hours in a day.
Most of that time is literallydedicated to eat, work and sleep
.
So you have to make time foryour brain to do something other
than those things.
And when you do, how does thathelp someone from what you've
(26:13):
seen like have more capacity forreceiving actually like the
income, the creativity thatbrings about the income, the
thing that brings about even Ilike to say even in a flare up
when I've done work for myself,like when I say, like my own
(26:34):
self-care if I'm in a flare upand I still give myself
permission to do whateverversion of self-care.
Lately it's been crosswordpuzzles.
I love those things.
I forgot about them and then,for some reason, I had some in
my drawer and I was like what isthis?
And I've been doing it everynight.
I love that so much so, and it'ssimple.
It's so simple.
(26:55):
I, it's a simple thing.
It's a simple thing.
It's crazy, but it totallyhelps, like get my head out of
my head Right, and it gets me tobe in a more neutral space for
flow.
And I'm not.
I don't have to, I don't haveto figure anything out other
(27:15):
than finding a word, and thatlater on in the day, if I do
that at night, when I wake up inthe morning my brain is not on
this like high of like trying tofigure out what I need to do,
all of these things.
It's more relaxed, and so I gointo the day with a lot better
hold on, like my anxiety or likemy task list of things I get to
do, because actually I lookforward to at night now my
(27:37):
crossword puzzle, yep, so it'ssomething I look forward to.
And so how does building theself-care add to the muscle
building confidence?
Janina Hamilton (27:47):
Yeah, because for so long the not doing for
yourself has felt good.
So there's something called thepain and pleasure principle.
I don't know if you probablyknow what that is, right, yeah,
so everything that you do haspain and pleasure resulted with
it, and right now the pleasureof working on your business is
(28:07):
greater than the pain ofactually doing, you know.
So you have to get out of thatand figure out what that is and
work towards the pleasure ofactually making money, and that
means moving away from thepleasure of the bad, you know,
of not feeling or feeling sooverwhelmed.
(28:28):
So you have to just stop andthink.
And you know, I think from theperspective of like when I first
started this, because I didn'tthink, you know, I knew that I
have perfectionist tendencies,right, but I didn't really
understand how deep they wereuntil I started like, especially
like the bookkeeping business,and when everything started to
change a little bit.
(28:49):
And during the pandemic oh, mygoodness, the pandemic, when
that man, the meltdown thathappened during then because you
had the time to just work itwas, oh my gosh, all of us have.
Nikita Williams (29:04):
We've been working on getting out of that
right.
Yeah, exactly so.
Janina Hamilton (29:08):
So we take that and we say, okay, what would
happen if you did x, y, z orjust one thing for five minutes?
And I make them actually tellme okay, like what, if you did
that, what would happen?
Like we need to make this areality Will your business burn
(29:29):
down in five minutes?
You know if you take this, no,okay, so now we've got the
reality of it's not going to.
Okay, the reality of it's notgoing to.
So after we do that, then wesay okay, well, what would
happen if you did this one thingfor your business after you did
this thing not for yourbusiness?
(29:51):
Something like following upwith somebody who commented on
your social media post orclicked on a link from your
newsletter, or something likethat.
What would happen if you didthat and you list all of the
possibilities and not most ofthe possibilities are either
what they won't respond oryou'll get a new client?
(30:15):
right, exactly so.
But that won't happen.
That get a new client doesn'thappen if you don't actually
follow up with somebody.
Right?
Especially if that's the onething that you can do while
you're in bed, right?
So, taking those actions,seeing, okay, I'm okay to take
(30:36):
some time for myself, get offsocial media for a little while,
yes, please, and do somethingthat's going to help you for
your business.
And one of the couple most ofthe months when I do the
self-care activities, one of thethings is either unsubscribe
from newsletters and unfollow atleast two accounts, because
(31:01):
there are things that areshowing up in your email inbox
and showing up on your newsfeedthat are causing you to second
guess what you wanna do.
That's causing you to go okay,well, maybe I should try this,
or maybe I should try that, andthen that noise keeps you from
doing anything at all.
Yeah, totally.
Nikita Williams (31:24):
Love that advice, love it.
What is it?
Cosign it.
That's what people say now.
Cosign it, oh my goodness,cosign it.
I mean, it's something for someof my severe perfectionist
clients.
Some of the things that I'veliterally told them is like
unfollow anyone in your niche.
Like straight up I.
Because what happens is itcreates imposter syndrome.
(31:47):
It creates this other thingthat comes up often is like well
, the industry standard and adry like.
It's like who are theseindustry standards?
Are they in a room somewhere?
Like who are they?
Like they might be at aconference, but if you go to a
different conference, guesswhere there's other people that
are not on that stage.
There's so many differentpeople.
So I'm like who is setting theseindustry standards?
(32:08):
And I'm like you don't have tooperate in these quote unquote
industry standards.
You don't have to be comparingyourself to all these different
people.
And is it serving you to takeaction?
Oftentimes it's literally doingthe opposite.
It's spiraling you out to sayhow much you aren't doing.
Then you feel like you're notdoing enough and then you feel
like you have to do more andyou're putting way more pressure
(32:29):
than you need to.
So, literally, I have toldclients I want you to take time
over the next four weeks tounfollow everyone that is in
your niche, because it doesn'tspark creativity, it doesn't
give you energy, it doesn't helpyou.
Nope, you think it's helpingyou because you're like this is
how I'm supposed to be, butliterally that is going to be
(32:51):
opposite of what you want to be,especially for my creative
entrepreneurs.
It's literally like hinderingyour creativity.
Janina Hamilton (32:58):
Yeah, because then you don't know what is your
creativity, that part.
Nikita Williams (33:03):
That part, yeah , that part.
So it's so good that you saidthat, because I do think we
definitely social media makes iteasy for us to just start
following people that are doingwhat we do, and I actually find
it a lot of fun to follow peoplewho are doing the opposite of
what I'm doing, or doingsomething in a different
industry than I'm doing, andthat sparks creativity and it
(33:24):
doesn't create this feeling oflike I'm not enough.
It's like oh, I never thoughtabout that.
It actually helps your brainversus it being the other way
around.
And, of course, you're going tofollow maybe a handful of the
people that I feel like youfollow, the people you decided
that you're going to invest infinancially and energetically.
And maybe you're going tofollow maybe a couple of your
(33:45):
friends.
But even a couple of yourfriends, you may not want to
follow them either because thatmight be bringing some imposter
syndrome and perfectionists.
So, like, no hard feelings,let's just like protect our
energy here.
Janina Hamilton (33:57):
Yeah.
Yeah so that we can take action.
Yeah, yeah, so that we can takeaction, right.
Nikita Williams (34:01):
Yeah.
Janina Hamilton (34:02):
Yeah, because that negative self-talk, I mean
I think it goes back, I think Idon't know if I said this, but
perfectionism really is the rootof it is negative self-talk.
Yes, like that Ching ching,ching, ching, ching.
Yes, like that, yes, like thatvoice in your head that's saying
(34:27):
that you're not enough.
That's keeping you in the sameplace.
Like you got to get rid of thatand you know, like I, I use I
use NLP to help with that.
We get through that and then wecreate affirmations,
personalized affirmations thathelp you to start seeing the
opportunities that are there infront of you.
Because if you don't, if youdon't quiet that negative
(34:51):
self-talk, it's going to be somuch harder for you and it's I'm
not saying that the negativeself-talk goes away completely,
because it doesn't, we're notperfect we aren't perfect, it
will be there but to at leasthave a tool there that you can
go back to and read and knowthat this is what you want to do
(35:11):
and this is how you want tooperate, because it feels good
to you, because we have.
We've just been so for so long.
I know I keep repeating this,but for so long women think and
act the way that they believe,that other people have told them
that they should think and act,and so that's just become what
(35:34):
we do.
But that, especially if youhave a chronic illness, is not
going to serve you.
You have to turn it off or atleast turn it down in a way that
can help you to move forward.
Nikita Williams (35:50):
Yeah, it's such a good point there because we
don't realize it.
We really don't.
We really don't realize howmuch, how loud, those other
voices have like literallycrowded out our own.
We don't even know what our ownvoice is at times, and it's
when you're living with chronicillness.
I think this is a little bitmore challenging, because a lot
(36:14):
of us have learned todisassociate from our bodies and
our thoughts, because that's aplace of to your point about the
pain and pleasure point, that'sa place where we can almost
kind of escape from what'shappening within us.
Right, it's just to be likelet's just our businesses are
like relationship things.
Those are things we can quoteunquote, escape into, just like
(36:36):
being focused into.
However, I want to offer toanyone who's listening, like, as
much as that may seempleasurable in the context that
it gives you release, could italso be harming you?
Because when you need to knowwhat's going on, this is one of
the things that changed my life,like from living with chronic
(36:56):
illness, realizing, like me,disassociating from that meant I
literally was disassociatingfrom the feelings and the
triggers and the things I shouldhave known ahead of time that
were creating some of theseplaces of where the intensity of
the pain, these other symptomsthat were coming up because I
was so not trying to be in thisbody and that left me without
(37:18):
tools that my body was reallyjust trying to help me with.
And so I just offer that foranyone who's like.
But I don't want like I don'tknow what my voice is.
It could be that you've justlearned over time to not listen
to it.
It doesn't mean it's gone, it'sstill, it's totally there but
(37:39):
it does mean the self-care pointto your point, janina.
That's a really great place tostart to take it back or to be
more in tune with it, to be moreconnected with it, so that you
can start making actions ortaking actions, or even setting
boundaries with different thingsin order to take actions that
work for you.
(38:01):
So that's the other thing aboutconfidence is that it really
does take to me a point ofhonesty with yourself, of like,
really acknowledging well, whyaren't I acting?
Is it just because I don't knowhow to?
Nine times out of 10, that'snot the reason.
Let's be real, and it's notthat we can't, but most times
it's because we're getting somelike quote unquote benefit from
(38:23):
not doing it in the context ofif we're not doing it.
It keeps us in our mental, ourbody, feeling safe.
We don't have to deal with painof the unknown.
We don't have to deal with painof like being seen and heard.
Lots of these things areactually underneath the reasons
why we aren't taking action withthings To your point.
(38:44):
Limiting beliefs are oftenunderneath this.
So you have to be honest withyourself and it might take some
time and some work to do that.
But again, I love your point ofgoing back to like you really
stepping into taking care ofthose self-care pieces allows
you to start to inner act withyour body or mind in a way that
actually feels good and doesn'tautomatically throw you into
(39:06):
like fear flight.
Standing outside on the porchfor some sun should feel like,
oh, I can do that Right, so Ilove that.
Janina Hamilton (39:17):
Yeah, yeah, and I like what you just said too,
because there's a differencebetween acknowledging and
acceptance right, so muchdifference.
Nikita Williams (39:25):
That's a whole like series, yeah, so you know.
Janina Hamilton (39:29):
You know.
You know what you're doing.
Yeah, but until you accept it,nothing's going to change.
Yeah, you know, except thechaos that you're in.
It's like it's okay that you'rein chaos, it's fine, it's where
you are.
But until you say, all right,here is where I'm at, but these
(39:49):
are the few things that I needto do, adjustments that I need
to make, you're going to be inthe same place.
You're going to be in that thisfeels good, if this feels safe,
like you just said, and wedon't want to be there.
You know you don't want to bethere.
You want to have thataccomplishment, you want to put
(40:10):
what you know out there into theworld.
You want to help people and youwant to make money.
Nikita Williams (40:14):
Yeah, and it feels good, especially when you
learn and build this muscle ofconfidence through different
tools that even in the worstseasons of your life and this is
something that you this is whyI love surrounding myself and
knowing people who are doingthis work, because I know that,
for example, you're not anybodywho's listening to is like, yeah
, you can say this becauseyou're not in a flare.
(40:36):
I'm like, no, I can say thisbecause I've done this in a
flare.
Yeah, I'm like I can say thisbecause I've literally been in
the hospital or our doctor'sappointments and I've still done
this in those moments, right,and so because of that, I'm
seeing that from all thecompassion in the world and all
of the thoughts.
But at the end of the day, if Ican look back six months from
(40:58):
now and I said that I was ableto accomplish this even in this
crazy season of what I'm at thatamount of confidence you cannot
manufacture.
Nope, I'm like like I just takethis podcast, for example.
I'm like do you guys know howmany times I wanted to quit this
(41:18):
podcast, as much as I enjoy it?
Y'all know I love the podcast,but as much as I enjoy it, it's
not like always easy.
No, but I do enjoy it,literally.
My husband was saying, nikita,you went in that call looking
like you were about to die, butyou love it so much.
You come out and you're like,you're so energized.
I'm like, cause it does that tome.
I know it does it.
(41:40):
At first it doesn't feel likethat and there are seasons where
it feels like I don't know ifthis is going to be possible and
I give myself a break.
Occasionally I'll take a breakand I come back to it.
But you can't do that untilyou've built the evidence behind
knowing right, like you can doit, yeah, yeah.
Janina Hamilton (41:57):
And there are some people that are just like
they're doers.
And you know the people thatyou look at, that you know
personally, that are like you're, like they're the most
confident people in the world.
When you look at the root of it, it's because they're not
afraid of failing, they're notafraid of doing something and
(42:19):
messing it up.
Yeah, and yes, that's hard,especially if you haven't you've
not been in that place.
But try it, even if it's like.
You know, I'm a big fan ofstarting small you know, one
thing one thing every week, onething every day, whatever I mean
(42:39):
.
I keep my bullet journal.
It's one of the things that Ido, but I have.
I write down one positive thingthat's happened in my business
every day.
Just one, yeah, just one.
Even if it's on the weekend,even if that meant that, like
some random, something happenedon social media, probably a post
(43:00):
from a month ago or something.
Like I got a like on something,okay, that happened, yeah.
Or or I was talking to somebodywhile I was out at a gathering
and they asked me what I did andI told them okay, I told
somebody what I did, you know.
So, finding and looking andtraining your brain to say, yes,
these things work, these thingshave you know, doing things
(43:25):
helps you to move forward andthat you can do something every
day, for it will help you totake even the tiniest bit of
action towards making more moneyin your business.
Nikita Williams (43:37):
Yeah, and newsflash.
Sometimes these small babysteps lead you to making money
and you think how did thathappen?
Janina Hamilton (43:53):
Oh girl.
Okay, so I have a little storyI have right now.
I have a client that's not abusiness client at all, just not
at all.
Chris, my husband was talkingto somebody and she was like, oh
well, my daughter has sicklecell and this and that, and
she's been struggling with thisand that.
And Chris was like, well, Ithink Janina can help her.
I'm like, okay, so by tellingother people, this is one lesson
(44:15):
tell other people what you doand familiar with what you do,
and they will send them to you.
Nikita Williams (44:23):
Right Clients can come from anywhere.
Y'all say that all the time.
Janina Hamilton (44:26):
Man, the best clients come from a network and
not other people singing yourpraises, because you can sing
your own praises all day longand people will not believe you.
But if somebody else says itget on that call, okay, okay,
got on the call.
Says it get on that call, okay,got on the call.
(44:51):
And the way that I've seen thisone client change like cause.
I'm using several differentthings within in there with
taking action and all of that,especially because it's not a
business client.
I don't have a particularexactly life coaching, exactly.
But we had one session where Iasked like, where are you right
now in your discomfort?
(45:11):
It was like a seven or eight.
We did our session, we didtapping.
That's our very firstexperience with tapping.
Got her down to a zero Okay,now we go a week and a half of.
Okay, now we go a week and ahalf, right.
And when she comes back, becauseshe's got several different
things, she's got like sicklecells, she has endometriosis,
(45:33):
she has diabetes, she's got aheart condition, she's got a lot
of things going on and so.
But we've also been talkingabout things like eating and
doing things different thingsbetter to help those health
conditions too, and I said, youknow, the decision that you made
(45:53):
to make these one tiny littletweaks right the picking up the
diet drink, the orderingsomething that was low carb, the
you know in one day that yousaw was the result of that
session, that telling yourselfthat you love yourself.
The impact that it can have onyourself by showing and telling
(46:17):
yourself that, look, I am worthtaking these steps.
I am worth taking one step canhave an impact even quicker than
you think, so that building upof your self-worth by taking
those actions that show that youknow and believe that you are
(46:38):
worth it can have long lastingeffects can have long lasting
effects.
Nikita Williams (46:51):
Yeah, so, so true.
I love that point.
I love that illustration.
It doesn't.
It is pretty magnificent how wecan take one thing and like
just the acknowledgement,acceptance and seeing it in a
different perspective can shiftso much and how it's important
to keep doing that because thenegative always can outweigh the
(47:13):
positive.
So you got to keep doing it,you got to keep doing.
Can't do it one time.
So love that, love that so much.
Any other things you would liketo share with us before we wrap
up around?
Some like someone who'slistening to this episode right
now, who's living with chronicillness, who's like you know, I
have a business, maybe they'recurrently in a business and
(47:33):
they're feeling stuck.
They're feeling like, you know,especially since the transition
from the pandemic to now, like,I think, a lot of people,
especially with chronic illness.
We were like living in heavenon Zoom and living our life, and
now everyone's like, no, let'sgo do the world.
And you're like, wait, what?
What are maybe a few things youcan share with them of where
they can start?
Janina Hamilton (47:52):
Yeah, If it's possible, get out of the house.
I know that can be hard forsomeone with a chronic illness,
but try to get out of the housefor an hour once a week Because
I found for myself that being athome that put me deeper into a
(48:15):
perfectionist mindset.
It put me deeper into the I cansit at my desk all day long or
I can take my laptop in the bedwith me.
All of that, and then I wasreally spinning my wheels rather
than actually getting work done.
So if you can get outside ofyour home environment for a
little bit to get some focusedwork done, do it.
Nikita Williams (48:41):
So helpful.
Yes, coworking has been mysaving grace, or the coffee shop
or wherever, Anywhere otherthan home.
Janina Hamilton (48:47):
A library yes, the library has free wifi.
Okay, Just get out of the house, get out of your environment
because home feels comfortable.
But home is your worst enemywhen it comes to a business.
It really productively.
It is your worst enemy becauseall you want to do is either
(49:10):
sleep or work Like you'reworking where you work, where
you live, and you need to getout of that space and, yeah,
spend time with other people ifyou can.
You know, I know and Iunderstand that not everybody
can do that, but if you can tryit and see the difference
between the how much you canmove the needle in that amount
of time, that way you can focusmore on resting and taking
(49:34):
better care of your health whenyou are at home.
But find something.
That's five minutes.
I work using the Pomodoromethod 25 minutes on, five
minutes off.
That also gives you time tothat clarity.
I step away from the desk.
I don't get on social media.
(49:54):
I have a book club in mymembership.
I read my, read in between.
You know, calm your eyes, getit away from a screen, but do
something for you every singleday.
That's what do something foryou and write down an
accomplishment every single day,even if you feel like it was
(50:15):
insignificant.
Find something because it'sthere.
Nikita Williams (50:19):
Yeah, love that so good.
I love that.
I love that.
I'm so glad we had thisconversation.
It was so good.
I hope you all can walk awaywith a few tips on how you can
build your confidence andovercome perfectionism.
A few other tidbits in here.
Janina, how can everyone findyou if they want to connect with
(50:41):
you and share for this oneexciting thing that's coming up
on the horizon that you'reexcited about?
Janina Hamilton (50:46):
Okay, I am Janina H coaching on Instagram
and you can also email me atJanina Hamiltoncom and I'll get
back to you.
You go on email and DM me.
I'm on there more than I shouldbe.
We'll just say that, no, I'mdoing better, because I'm like
I'm started reading more againand not just like improvement
(51:08):
books, I'm like reading fictionbooks again.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, it'sso much fun.
I used to read like a lot more,but you know, whatever, I don't
know what happened, but I'mback now and I love it so much.
But yeah, so I have a webinarcoming up, a free webinar that
I'm about to publish, hopefullysometime this week, maybe
(51:29):
earlier next week or early nextweek, whenever this podcast is
coming out.
I'm not sure when that is, buteither way, it's called Three
Secrets to OvercomePerfectionism and, ooh, what was
the other part?
I can't remember.
It's a long name.
I don't know why I did that,but either way, I will.
(51:50):
The link will be.
It's totally free, you knowyou'll be able to watch it.
Actually, let me just look itup.
Nikita Williams (51:57):
Yeah, and we'll definitely have like, even if
it's if this comes out afterthat.
I don't know if you'll have areplay or if it's going to be
like in a funnel or email.
It's going to be in a funnel,so it will be there forever.
Janina Hamilton (52:07):
It's called Three Secrets to Overcome
Perfectionism and ConfidentlySell your Services.
Nikita Williams (52:12):
Believe in yourself and take action.
Janina Hamilton (52:14):
So that is long ?
Yes, it is long.
So I was like, well, how can Ishorten it?
But if I don't shorten it, thenhow will they?
I don't know.
Nikita Williams (52:26):
Anyways, so it's there.
We'll definitely have.
You'll be able to connect withher and all that stuff.
We'll have everything in theshow notes and all of that.
Joss, is that the thing you'relooking forward?
Janina Hamilton (52:35):
to yes.
That is the thing that I amlooking forward to.
I'm really excited about it.
I got some interviews in there,yeah, so talk about keeping
promises to yourself as well.
You know, we make thosecommitments to everybody else
but ourselves, so let's do it soso much, this is so good, thank
(52:56):
you.
Nikita Williams (52:57):
Thank you so much for being on any last words
before we close out.
Janina Hamilton (53:02):
Yeah, so please remember that five minutes is
not as long as you think.
Take time for you, at the veryleast Five minutes for yourself,
and set a timer.
Don't go over the five minuteswhen you start.
Five minutes, but do it.
It will give you more claritythan you could ever imagine.
(53:22):
Love it, but do it.
It will give you more claritythan you could ever imagine,
love it.
Nikita Williams (53:32):
That's a wrap for this episode of Business
with Chronic Illness.
If you would like to start andgrow an online coaching business
with me, head to the show notesto click a link to book a sales
call and learn how to makemoney with chronic illness.
You can also check out ourwebsite at wwwcraftedtothrivecom
for this episode's show notesand join our email list to get
exclusive content where I coachyou on how to chronically grow a
profitable business whileliving with chronic illness.
(53:53):
Until next time, remember, yes,you are crafted to thrive.
Welcome to Business with Chronic Illness,
the globally ranked podcast forwomen living with chronic
illness who want to start andgrow a business online.
I'm your host.
Nikita Williams and I went fromliving a normal life to all of
a sudden being in constant pain,with no answers to being
diagnosed with multiple chronicillnesses and trying to make a
livable income.
I faced the challenge ofadapting traditional business
(00:27):
advice to fit my uniquecircumstances with chronic
illness, feeling frustrated andmore burned out than I already
was.
While managing my chronicillness to becoming an
award-winning coach with aflexible, sustainable online
coaching business, I found thesurprisingly simple steps to
starting and growing aprofitable business without
compromising my health or mypeace.
(00:48):
Since then, I've helped dozensof women just like you learn how
to do the same.
If you're ready to create athriving business that aligns
with your lifestyle andwell-being, you're in the right
place.
Together, we're shifting thenarrative of what's possible for
women with chronic illness andhow we make a living.
(01:18):
This is Business with ChronicIllness.
I am so excited that today weare going to be talking about
confidence and how we can dothat through action.
How does that look like and howwe can do that through action.
How does that look like and howthat can be a challenge for us
living with chronic illness?
And I get to have thiswonderful conversation with a
really good friend of mine,janina, and I'm excited to
invite her to the show and I'lltell you a little bit more about
(01:40):
her and she'll tell you alittle bit more about herself,
but first I want to ask her whatdoes confidence mean to?
Janina Hamilton (01:46):
you yeah.
So it means doing in order tounderstand that you can do, and
then that leads to more doing.
I like that.
Nikita Williams (02:03):
Yeah, I like that.
You know, one of the things Ithink with confidence to your
point that you're saying is Iknow that for me and for a lot
of the people we talk to, likethe confidence to act in itself
is the hurdle right.
Like, like the confidence tofeel like you can do it, Like
(02:25):
you can pull the lever, that youdon't have to be perfect, which
we'll talk about a little bittoo, about perfectionism and
being confident and overcomingperfectionism.
How have you found that, justbefore you even get to the
acting part, where do you buildthe confidence in your brain to
(02:47):
even be thinking you can act?
Because a lot of people thinklike I just can't right.
A lot of conversations I have islike, well, I just can't I just
can't, and I think it has a lotto do with belief, a lot of
mindset, but what does that looklike from where you see working
with folks?
Janina Hamilton (03:06):
what does that look like from where you see
working with folks?
Yeah, so for sure, confidencecomes from doing right.
But what to your point?
How do you even start that?
How do you even believe?
So what I do with my clients isI take it a step back and I look
backwards and I get them topull out pen and paper.
Because if you keep it in yourhead, you know, yeah, like I
(03:29):
listened to a podcast one timeand he's like we can do one plus
one equals two, right, and twoplus two equals four.
But if you got something likeif you got 247 times 43, how
many people can do that in theirhead?
So why do we try to keep doingthings like build confidence and
unscramble emotions in our head?
(03:50):
In our head, yeah Right, pullout paper, pull out paper and we
write down all of the thingsthat you have accomplished
already.
And then you pick out thefavorite things that you've
accomplished already, and thisdoesn't even have to be related
to business.
What are the things that you'vedone just in your life?
And then we write down the listof things that you did to
(04:14):
accomplish those things.
Mm-hmm, and that already showsyou that you do have the
confidence.
You do have the will, you dohave the motivation already
there to move and take action.
Nikita Williams (04:28):
Yeah, totally so true, it is starting.
It is I like to call it.
It's like disrupting the lie.
It's disrupting the lie becausethere's we wouldn't be standing
here or sitting here or lyingdown in bed, wherever you are
listening to this podcast, ifyou took no action ever like.
That's just this lie that ourbrain likes to tell us to make
us feel safe in the context ofjust let's not do anything Right
(04:54):
.
So such a good point, such agood thought of like why, where
to go, start back, startbackwards.
I like to.
It's interesting.
I call it the confidence card.
I like have my clients dosomething similar and it is such
a powerful tool because,especially if you look, just
looking back at that's like abomb to your belief system there
(05:16):
for a minute to be like yeahright.
Like you also realize, you didthat through a lot of really
hard stuff too, right?
So such a good point.
So before we go on, I want tojust let you guys know a little
bit about Janina.
Janina is like one of thesweetest women I've gotten to
(05:37):
meet and it's thanks to herhusband I've got to meet her
first of all.
In that way I've gotten to knowyou guys.
She is an amazing coach.
She has been in the world ofentrepreneurship for a very long
time.
Me and her kind of startedtalking about business and
things when she was doingbookkeeping and accounting and
(05:59):
all of that jazz.
And she's been aroundentrepreneurs doing entrepreneur
things while also living withmany chronic illnesses and her
husband lives with chronicillness as well and so she
understands, like when we starttalking about confidence and I
feel like in the context of theentrepreneur world, we do hear a
lot about taking action and da,da, da, da.
(06:20):
And I'm always like, yeah, whatabout this?
What about when you are inbrain fog and pain?
What about pulling the lever inthose times?
Because advice that wesometimes hear around like just
rest until you feel better yes,that's important, we do need to
rest and do those things.
But if we were to perpetuallyrest, we would never get
(06:40):
anything done outside of resting.
And so when you talk about this, you talk about this very much
from a scientific standpoint ofhow actions is important and
tell us a little bit more about,like, how you came to now doing
this more full-time as a coacharound confidence and helping
those with you know with intheir entrepreneur journey.
Janina Hamilton (07:04):
Yeah.
So the reason I'm even heredoing this is because the
bookkeeping business no longerserved my chronic illness.
We'll just put that one outthere.
I do still have, I know why butyeah, I'll tell you Okay.
I'll tell you I'm good.
So when you have the type ofbusiness that bookkeeping is,
(07:25):
that requires your clients togive you something in order for
you to do your job, and if theydon't give you those things in
order for you to do your job,then that puts you behind and it
puts more stress on your body,your mind, all of that trying to
make sure that you live up towhat you put in your contract
(07:47):
saying that you would do.
And then it messes up the wholeschedule of everything that I
had and was ready to do, and Ithought it was the best thing in
the world, especially when Ifirst started.
But as time went on, you getmore clients, which was fine,
the workload was fine.
Clients, which was fine withthe workload was fine.
(08:10):
But the more people you have,the more people don't do what
you ask them to do.
Yeah, and so you know, if I'mnot getting receipts by the
fifth, I can't give you reportsby the 10th, and so I just
stopped marketing it.
That's what happened.
I just stopped marketing itbecause I didn't want to do it
anymore anyways.
So I have like two or threeclients left and while Chris was
in the hospital a couple ofyears ago when he came home,
(08:32):
which you know, incidentally.
Today I looked on my Facebookmemories and today was the day
he came home two years ago.
Oh, wow, yeah, after havingsurgery and all of that, I still
did the bookkeeping work whilehe was in in the hospital and
everything because I could.
It was it's literally somethingI could do from my laptop all
the time.
But then we were like, okay,well, what can we do together?
(08:52):
Like is there something that wecan do together?
Because he does the video,videography and photography?
Like what can we do online thatwould help us to be more free
together?
And so, like we started apodcast that only has like a
handful of episodes.
We were going to be like acouple's chronically ill couple
relationship, how to have a full, active life thing, which I
(09:17):
think we're probably might pickback up at some point, because I
started playing with reels andstuff on it again, I've cracked
a code on that and I'm so superexcited about that.
But so we looked at likedifferent, like communication
type certifications that wecould get online.
And so I got an emotionalintelligence certification and
(09:38):
Chris, he still hasn't finishedit after almost two years his
REBT training and that was goingto help us help couples to get
over the roadblocks and all ofthat almost two years, his REBT
training and that was going tohelp us help couples to, you
know, get over the roadblocksand all of that and feel better
while working together.
Well, since he didn't finishhis and I finished mine, I said
this stuff is great and I'mgoing to figure out how to use
(09:58):
it.
And so that's where thisbusiness came from.
It's gone through a fewiterations, but it's back to
where it started.
I think at first it was okay.
Well, you take the emotionalintelligence assessment.
This is where my action comesin, right.
Like all right, I've got, I'mdone with this.
So I need to figure out howthis can help people.
(10:19):
So I just put it out thereonline.
I said I've cause.
The podcast was already up andrunning.
So I said I take the assessment, we'll work together for six
weeks.
That's how I'm going to learnwho needs what and how.
And I got four clients justgoing hey, this is the stuff
I've been learning.
And they were like, yeah, let'sdo this.
(10:40):
So, and I wasn't able to do iton my own schedule.
even though I still had thebookkeeping business, I was able
to have those meetings andeverything.
And by letting people know upfront that I have this illness,
then they're like okay, if Ihave to reschedule, then they
already know.
I just am such an advocate forthat Like if you have a chronic
illness and you have clients,please tell them Yep.
Nikita Williams (11:05):
I have a whole episode I think it's like
episode like 10, which is crazyor something like that where I'm
like, should you tell peopleyou have a chronic illness, and
basically, and then I'm like,yes, Just tell them.
Janina Hamilton (11:15):
Most people will understand.
They will understand more ifyou go ahead and tell them up
front than if you have to cancel, and they're just like well,
why them up front?
Than if you have to cancel, andthey're just like well, why?
Because they don't understand.
Maybe they don't fullyunderstand anyways, because they
don't have chronic illnessthemselves.
But if you do tell them I'mstill going to do your work, I'm
still here with you and for you.
You let them know, then they'remuch more likely to be
(11:38):
understanding for you.
So I did that and then I took acourse on how to like build my
signature, a signature course,and it didn't do as well as I
like.
The principles were great, butI wasn't ready for it.
I think I don't think that Ihad done enough in that that one
area to have enough information, as much information as I have
(12:02):
now.
But I did end up starting likea membership for self-care.
It turned into self-care whichis even deeper into the mindset,
and now it's self-care forchronically ill women with
businesses.
That's what it is, that's whatthe membership is, and I'm right
now in the middle of creating acourse.
(12:23):
Actually, the course is donefrom the women that have been in
the middle of creating a course.
Actually, the course is donefrom the women that work that
have been in the membership withbusinesses and they've taken
the course and they've given metheir feedback and all of that.
And I'm about to put that outinto the world with a webinar
and all of that.
And I'm just like excitedbecause I feel like now I'm
where I'm supposed to be.
(12:43):
Excited because I feel like nowI'm where I'm supposed to be
Like, but it took me doingseveral different things to come
back to.
Okay, now this is it.
Yeah.
Nikita Williams (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, I mean we can have a whole just
conversation about that, right,like yeah, like we can.
I know I went like so far off,but no, I love it because you
all know if you're new to theshow then you don't know this
but the podcast hasn't alwaysbeen called business with
chronic illness.
It's been something I have beenresistant to forever.
We'll get to that later, butthat's the whole, like the
(13:17):
evolution, or the yeah, theevolution of so many that I have
just come to talk to within thecoaching industry.
So I have done pretty much asimilar roadmap as you.
I mean, when we first metbusiness-wise doing business
things, I was teaching you guyshow to like make your service
provider stuff work and all thatkind of stuff, and I was doing
(13:40):
my own digital marketing and,like I was doing that as well,
and I came across the sameroadblock or the same challenge
of I'm still in the boat ofrelying on other people and I
don't have control over that and, as someone living with chronic
illness, that's not as helpfulfor me from a mental, physical
(14:05):
standpoint.
So how do I make this work?
And so this is why you know, ofcourse I'm biased, because now
I've been coaching for a while,but this is why I think coaching
is like the best thing foranyone living with chronic
illness as a business to startwith, it allows you this
flexibility and it's literallyall on your terms, like,
(14:26):
literally, like.
It is one of the most flexibleways of being able to show up
and do what you need to do, butmost like 99% on your terms, and
that's why I love it.
And so I love that you sharedthat part of the story, because
I think a lot of people haveresistance to that thinking.
They think, well, you know, theservice provider is easy People
(14:49):
and I'm like it is.
It's not that the work isn'thard, it's the people, y'all,
it's the people.
It's the people and how theywork, and we can't control how
people work.
So we have to control how wework, and the best way I found
to your point it has been justoffering services like this,
where we create the containersand invite people to come into
(15:10):
our lane and they can decidewhether or not this is what they
want to do or not and if theydon't have to stay Exactly yeah,
yeah, right.
So, yes, I love that you sharedthat and I also love that you
shared you went through taking acourse and then took action to
decide how this is going to look, and it took many iterations
(15:32):
and I think a lot of us beatourselves up for something,
taking quote unquote manyiterations Like there's
something wrong with that.
Janina Hamilton (15:39):
No.
Nikita Williams (15:40):
Right.
So let's go back to that.
Let's talk about that from thecontents of confidence
iterations, things having to bedone over and over again or
redone or looking at a littledifferent.
How does that actually buildyour confidence?
How can we reframe this idea ofstarting and stopping tweaking
and going from being like I'm afailure to actually this means
(16:03):
I'm moving forward and I'mbuilding this muscle.
Janina Hamilton (16:06):
Yeah, that's a great question because we do
tend to get stuck when you'renot seeing the results that you
would like to.
But first I would like tocaution and say if you're not
seeing the results immediately,you might have to still just
keep going for a little bit.
Yeah, like I don't advocatestopping without trying your
(16:29):
strategy for at least a coupleof months, you know because you
have to.
If you're changing something up, your audience has to realize
that you're changing something.
Nikita Williams (16:38):
Yeah, so you have to give it time.
Janina Hamilton (16:41):
Yeah, you absolutely have to give it time,
and there's a part of me that'sreally impatient.
I'm just like, oh my goodness,it's not working.
I'm just going to stop this,you know and it's normal to feel
that way, because we do like tohave immediate results.
But stick with it for a littlebit.
If it doesn't work and also ifit doesn't feel right to you
(17:01):
anymore, then you know, makethat change, because you don't.
You also don't want to continueto do something that doesn't
feel good to you anymore as wellbecause your body will tell you
.
Nikita Williams (17:15):
And that part is so so, like huge here,
because I don't I don't knowabout you, janina, but I feel
like, especially in the contextof like coaches and generalized
coaching and I say generalizedcoaching even though there's
niche but people who aren'tthinking about the body and what
we do, that there's a lot ofadvice that's out there.
(17:37):
That's saying the counter, theopposite of that, right.
Like, you don't have to loveyour business, you don't have to
like what you do, you don'thave like it, all of these
things, right.
But how does that affectsomeone living with chronic
illness differently?
Janina Hamilton (17:53):
Yeah, cause you feel it differently.
You know, if you don't have achronic illness, you'll still
feel it, but you can workthrough it.
You can work past it, you canignore it.
But if you have a chronicillness that's causing you to be
in bed you know more than allyou know it's causing you to
flare, you're not enjoyingyourself.
Then what good is that You'renot going to make money, which
(18:16):
is, you know, part of?
Yes, you started your businessbecause you love it, you know,
because it's something that youwant to do.
You want to.
That's why I named the coursemake an impact.
You want to make an impact,right, you want to do that, but
you also do want to make money.
And you can't do that if you'renot having fun, because we feel
(18:37):
everything.
Nikita Williams (18:39):
It's like I don't think we.
I was talking to a client theother day and I was like we
dismiss one.
We most of us dismiss.
And this also goes back to,like your point of like putting
everything down, seeing whatyou're doing, like making even
even beyond, like what you'vedone in the past.
Something I have my clients donow is just like, especially
ones who have a bit of troublewith confidence of writing
(19:02):
things down, like what did youdo?
Like even if it's the smallestthing, of like getting out of
the bed and brushing your teeth,because you know there've been
times where you didn't do thatOkay, like you didn't have the
energy to do that.
But like even the small things,I think we kind of dismiss.
But we also dismiss theenergetic effects of what we are
(19:24):
doing, like we don't and how itshows up for us.
And so to your point yeah, youcan't just ignore if you don't
like something and you can'tjust push through it.
I mean you can.
It's just going to do more harmthan good and you will actually
end up losing money because youdid that, exactly, exactly.
Janina Hamilton (19:41):
And that's why, too, exactly, exactly.
And that's why, too, Iencourage self-care within my
container, because it gives youmore clarity on how you're
actually feeling.
Because if you're just workingand pushing through on something
, even if you do enjoy it, ifyou are pushing through past and
(20:02):
through your pain too much, tothe point where you're flaring
even on something you do enjoy,you're not going to enjoy it.
So in order to know whetheryou're actually enjoying it,
whether you actually feelaligned with what's going on,
you have to step back from itevery once in a while.
Nikita Williams (20:20):
You just have to.
Janina Hamilton (20:22):
You have to rest in a way that it's called
active.
I call it active rest.
You have to do something that'snot connected to making money.
You have to do it, Otherwiseyou're just stuck.
You will be stuck.
You'll never know what youreally want to do and where
you're actually at you'reactually at.
Nikita Williams (20:47):
Yeah, so I can hear in the background and in my
own mental brain of all of thewomen that I work with which,
the perfectionist head screamingright now Of course.
But what do you mean?
Active rest, like?
What do you mean about takingaction?
Because perfectionists actuallyare interesting to me.
They're very fascinating to mebecause, as much as they're
(21:07):
perfectionists, they actuallyact the least right, they
actually take the action theleast and to become perfect.
If we think about this in thecontext of just learning and how
we do in order to reachperfection, as imperfect people,
we almost have to keep failingin order to get to the best
(21:29):
version of something, and so, ifwe are in our perfectionist
mindset, we literally are nottaking the actions that we need
to take in order to reachso-called quote unquote, not
real, but let's imagine itperfection.
So how do we address that inthis conversation of confidence?
Janina Hamilton (21:50):
Yeah, I love that.
So that procrastination becausethat's what that is right, that
is procrastination.
It shows up in different forms.
It doesn't usually show up inthe form of doing something that
you actually enjoy.
It shows up in doing otherthings that you don't, that
you've been putting off and thatyou don't want to do, that are,
(22:13):
as you said before,energetically making you tired.
They're making you feel worse.
So if you pull back from thatand then do like I was saying,
with active rest and self-careand that's one of the things
that I give in my membership is25 activities that you can do
that take five minutes or less.
(22:34):
That are just ideas, just ideas, Because for a perfectionist,
the hardest thing to do is tofigure out what it is that you
want to do, Because you've beenso long, for so long, figuring
out or thinking about how you'regoing to take care of other
people that you don't know whatyou want to do for yourself
(22:55):
anymore, Absolutely.
So you either are helping otherpeople or you're running
yourself in the ground, thinkingabout the things that you want
to do for yourself but not doingthem.
So that's what I heard, thatpull back, here's your
activities.
And like I don't know, let mejust look at this month.
(23:17):
Okay, I can just tell you justoff what we've got going on this
month.
You know some of the things areenergetic, like stand barefoot
in the grass, you know, feel thesun on your skin.
You know there are things thataren't as like in depth, Like
most people think of self-careas like get in the bathtub right
, Do a face mask, get your nailsdone, go to a spa.
(23:40):
While those things are good andare part of self-care if you're
sick yeah doing.
Nikita Williams (23:47):
You know, like, yes, I am one of those that
needs to get in the bath all thetime, like that's what my
illness means right, like how Ifeel about massages, everybody's
like massage is so luxury, Imean I, I can be, but I do it
because I got to.
Janina Hamilton (24:01):
Exactly.
But then there are things thatyou can't do.
That every day, right.
So what do you do every day?
So you can declutter?
Right, you can eat dinneroutside.
List recent personalimprovements so not business
personal improvements colorwindow, shop birdwatch Take
(24:26):
yourself away from what's goingon and that will bring you back
to okay.
Now I'm ready to actually dosomething, because that noise,
that perfectionism, is noise.
It becomes white noise in yourhead and it's negative self-talk
and you've got to get out ofyour head in order to take
action.
So that's what we do.
(24:48):
I love it.
I love it, yeah, and we talkevery day about like, like in
the membership.
We talk every day about whatyou've done, you have to do, you
need to do something every day,even if it's just for five
minutes for yourself.
That does not include makingmoney.
You have to take a break everyday.
Nikita Williams (25:07):
Yeah, and you know it's a part of, I like to
say, with my clients and with,just in general, just the way I
live my life.
You have to believe that takingtime for yourself will benefit
you not just like energeticallyand physically, but also
financially.
Like I think we are, we'reconditioned in this world that
(25:30):
we live in right now where it'svery much like work, eat, sleep,
work, Like that's what we do,and so obviously we like, we are
craving for the likeextravagant, like travel and
vacations, because those are allthings that, like you get to
separate from like working, andthen you could explore different
(25:50):
things, but it's just for abrief amount of time.
But there's 365 days of theyear, Right, and so we have 24
hours in a day.
Most of that time is literallydedicated to eat, work and sleep
.
So you have to make time foryour brain to do something other
than those things.
And when you do, how does thathelp someone from what you've
(26:13):
seen like have more capacity forreceiving actually like the
income, the creativity thatbrings about the income, the
thing that brings about even Ilike to say even in a flare up
when I've done work for myself,like when I say, like my own
(26:34):
self-care if I'm in a flare upand I still give myself
permission to do whateverversion of self-care.
Lately it's been crosswordpuzzles.
I love those things.
I forgot about them and then,for some reason, I had some in
my drawer and I was like what isthis?
And I've been doing it everynight.
I love that so much so, and it'ssimple.
It's so simple.
(26:55):
I, it's a simple thing.
It's a simple thing.
It's crazy, but it totallyhelps, like get my head out of
my head Right, and it gets me tobe in a more neutral space for
flow.
And I'm not.
I don't have to, I don't haveto figure anything out other
(27:15):
than finding a word, and thatlater on in the day, if I do
that at night, when I wake up inthe morning my brain is not on
this like high of like trying tofigure out what I need to do,
all of these things.
It's more relaxed, and so I gointo the day with a lot better
hold on, like my anxiety or likemy task list of things I get to
do, because actually I lookforward to at night now my
(27:37):
crossword puzzle, yep, so it'ssomething I look forward to.
And so how does building theself-care add to the muscle
building confidence?
Janina Hamilton (27:47):
Yeah, because for so long the not doing for
yourself has felt good.
So there's something called thepain and pleasure principle.
I don't know if you probablyknow what that is, right, yeah,
so everything that you do haspain and pleasure resulted with
it, and right now the pleasureof working on your business is
(28:07):
greater than the pain ofactually doing, you know.
So you have to get out of thatand figure out what that is and
work towards the pleasure ofactually making money, and that
means moving away from thepleasure of the bad, you know,
of not feeling or feeling sooverwhelmed.
(28:28):
So you have to just stop andthink.
And you know, I think from theperspective of like when I first
started this, because I didn'tthink, you know, I knew that I
have perfectionist tendencies,right, but I didn't really
understand how deep they wereuntil I started like, especially
like the bookkeeping business,and when everything started to
change a little bit.
(28:49):
And during the pandemic oh, mygoodness, the pandemic, when
that man, the meltdown thathappened during then because you
had the time to just work itwas, oh my gosh, all of us have.
Nikita Williams (29:04):
We've been working on getting out of that
right.
Yeah, exactly so.
Janina Hamilton (29:08):
So we take that and we say, okay, what would
happen if you did x, y, z orjust one thing for five minutes?
And I make them actually tellme okay, like what, if you did
that, what would happen?
Like we need to make this areality Will your business burn
(29:29):
down in five minutes?
You know if you take this, no,okay, so now we've got the
reality of it's not going to.
Okay, the reality of it's notgoing to.
So after we do that, then wesay okay, well, what would
happen if you did this one thingfor your business after you did
this thing not for yourbusiness?
(29:51):
Something like following upwith somebody who commented on
your social media post orclicked on a link from your
newsletter, or something likethat.
What would happen if you didthat and you list all of the
possibilities and not most ofthe possibilities are either
what they won't respond oryou'll get a new client?
(30:15):
right, exactly so.
But that won't happen.
That get a new client doesn'thappen if you don't actually
follow up with somebody.
Right?
Especially if that's the onething that you can do while
you're in bed, right?
So, taking those actions,seeing, okay, I'm okay to take
(30:36):
some time for myself, get offsocial media for a little while,
yes, please, and do somethingthat's going to help you for
your business.
And one of the couple most ofthe months when I do the
self-care activities, one of thethings is either unsubscribe
from newsletters and unfollow atleast two accounts, because
(31:01):
there are things that areshowing up in your email inbox
and showing up on your newsfeedthat are causing you to second
guess what you wanna do.
That's causing you to go okay,well, maybe I should try this,
or maybe I should try that, andthen that noise keeps you from
doing anything at all.
Yeah, totally.
Nikita Williams (31:24):
Love that advice, love it.
What is it?
Cosign it.
That's what people say now.
Cosign it, oh my goodness,cosign it.
I mean, it's something for someof my severe perfectionist
clients.
Some of the things that I'veliterally told them is like
unfollow anyone in your niche.
Like straight up I.
Because what happens is itcreates imposter syndrome.
(31:47):
It creates this other thingthat comes up often is like well
, the industry standard and adry like.
It's like who are theseindustry standards?
Are they in a room somewhere?
Like who are they?
Like they might be at aconference, but if you go to a
different conference, guesswhere there's other people that
are not on that stage.
There's so many differentpeople.
So I'm like who is setting theseindustry standards?
(32:08):
And I'm like you don't have tooperate in these quote unquote
industry standards.
You don't have to be comparingyourself to all these different
people.
And is it serving you to takeaction?
Oftentimes it's literally doingthe opposite.
It's spiraling you out to sayhow much you aren't doing.
Then you feel like you're notdoing enough and then you feel
like you have to do more andyou're putting way more pressure
(32:29):
than you need to.
So, literally, I have toldclients I want you to take time
over the next four weeks tounfollow everyone that is in
your niche, because it doesn'tspark creativity, it doesn't
give you energy, it doesn't helpyou.
Nope, you think it's helpingyou because you're like this is
how I'm supposed to be, butliterally that is going to be
(32:51):
opposite of what you want to be,especially for my creative
entrepreneurs.
It's literally like hinderingyour creativity.
Janina Hamilton (32:58):
Yeah, because then you don't know what is your
creativity, that part.
Nikita Williams (33:03):
That part, yeah , that part.
So it's so good that you saidthat, because I do think we
definitely social media makes iteasy for us to just start
following people that are doingwhat we do, and I actually find
it a lot of fun to follow peoplewho are doing the opposite of
what I'm doing, or doingsomething in a different
industry than I'm doing, andthat sparks creativity and it
(33:24):
doesn't create this feeling oflike I'm not enough.
It's like oh, I never thoughtabout that.
It actually helps your brainversus it being the other way
around.
And, of course, you're going tofollow maybe a handful of the
people that I feel like youfollow, the people you decided
that you're going to invest infinancially and energetically.
And maybe you're going tofollow maybe a couple of your
(33:45):
friends.
But even a couple of yourfriends, you may not want to
follow them either because thatmight be bringing some imposter
syndrome and perfectionists.
So, like, no hard feelings,let's just like protect our
energy here.
Janina Hamilton (33:57):
Yeah.
Yeah so that we can take action.
Yeah, yeah, so that we can takeaction, right.
Nikita Williams (34:01):
Yeah.
Janina Hamilton (34:02):
Yeah, because that negative self-talk, I mean
I think it goes back, I think Idon't know if I said this, but
perfectionism really is the rootof it is negative self-talk.
Yes, like that Ching ching,ching, ching, ching.
Yes, like that, yes, like thatvoice in your head that's saying
(34:27):
that you're not enough.
That's keeping you in the sameplace.
Like you got to get rid of thatand you know, like I, I use I
use NLP to help with that.
We get through that and then wecreate affirmations,
personalized affirmations thathelp you to start seeing the
opportunities that are there infront of you.
Because if you don't, if youdon't quiet that negative
(34:51):
self-talk, it's going to be somuch harder for you and it's I'm
not saying that the negativeself-talk goes away completely,
because it doesn't, we're notperfect we aren't perfect, it
will be there but to at leasthave a tool there that you can
go back to and read and knowthat this is what you want to do
(35:11):
and this is how you want tooperate, because it feels good
to you, because we have.
We've just been so for so long.
I know I keep repeating this,but for so long women think and
act the way that they believe,that other people have told them
that they should think and act,and so that's just become what
(35:34):
we do.
But that, especially if youhave a chronic illness, is not
going to serve you.
You have to turn it off or atleast turn it down in a way that
can help you to move forward.
Nikita Williams (35:50):
Yeah, it's such a good point there because we
don't realize it.
We really don't.
We really don't realize howmuch, how loud, those other
voices have like literallycrowded out our own.
We don't even know what our ownvoice is at times, and it's
when you're living with chronicillness.
I think this is a little bitmore challenging, because a lot
(36:14):
of us have learned todisassociate from our bodies and
our thoughts, because that's aplace of to your point about the
pain and pleasure point, that'sa place where we can almost
kind of escape from what'shappening within us.
Right, it's just to be likelet's just our businesses are
like relationship things.
Those are things we can quoteunquote, escape into, just like
(36:36):
being focused into.
However, I want to offer toanyone who's listening, like, as
much as that may seempleasurable in the context that
it gives you release, could italso be harming you?
Because when you need to knowwhat's going on, this is one of
the things that changed my life,like from living with chronic
(36:56):
illness, realizing, like me,disassociating from that meant I
literally was disassociatingfrom the feelings and the
triggers and the things I shouldhave known ahead of time that
were creating some of theseplaces of where the intensity of
the pain, these other symptomsthat were coming up because I
was so not trying to be in thisbody and that left me without
(37:18):
tools that my body was reallyjust trying to help me with.
And so I just offer that foranyone who's like.
But I don't want like I don'tknow what my voice is.
It could be that you've justlearned over time to not listen
to it.
It doesn't mean it's gone, it'sstill, it's totally there but
(37:39):
it does mean the self-care pointto your point, janina.
That's a really great place tostart to take it back or to be
more in tune with it, to be moreconnected with it, so that you
can start making actions ortaking actions, or even setting
boundaries with different thingsin order to take actions that
work for you.
(38:01):
So that's the other thing aboutconfidence is that it really
does take to me a point ofhonesty with yourself, of like,
really acknowledging well, whyaren't I acting?
Is it just because I don't knowhow to?
Nine times out of 10, that'snot the reason.
Let's be real, and it's notthat we can't, but most times
it's because we're getting somelike quote unquote benefit from
(38:23):
not doing it in the context ofif we're not doing it.
It keeps us in our mental, ourbody, feeling safe.
We don't have to deal with painof the unknown.
We don't have to deal with painof like being seen and heard.
Lots of these things areactually underneath the reasons
why we aren't taking action withthings To your point.
(38:44):
Limiting beliefs are oftenunderneath this.
So you have to be honest withyourself and it might take some
time and some work to do that.
But again, I love your point ofgoing back to like you really
stepping into taking care ofthose self-care pieces allows
you to start to inner act withyour body or mind in a way that
actually feels good and doesn'tautomatically throw you into
(39:06):
like fear flight.
Standing outside on the porchfor some sun should feel like,
oh, I can do that Right, so Ilove that.
Janina Hamilton (39:17):
Yeah, yeah, and I like what you just said too,
because there's a differencebetween acknowledging and
acceptance right, so muchdifference.
Nikita Williams (39:25):
That's a whole like series, yeah, so you know.
Janina Hamilton (39:29):
You know.
You know what you're doing.
Yeah, but until you accept it,nothing's going to change.
Yeah, you know, except thechaos that you're in.
It's like it's okay that you'rein chaos, it's fine, it's where
you are.
But until you say, all right,here is where I'm at, but these
(39:49):
are the few things that I needto do, adjustments that I need
to make, you're going to be inthe same place.
You're going to be in that thisfeels good, if this feels safe,
like you just said, and wedon't want to be there.
You know you don't want to bethere.
You want to have thataccomplishment, you want to put
(40:10):
what you know out there into theworld.
You want to help people and youwant to make money.
Nikita Williams (40:14):
Yeah, and it feels good, especially when you
learn and build this muscle ofconfidence through different
tools that even in the worstseasons of your life and this is
something that you this is whyI love surrounding myself and
knowing people who are doingthis work, because I know that,
for example, you're not anybodywho's listening to is like, yeah
, you can say this becauseyou're not in a flare.
(40:36):
I'm like, no, I can say thisbecause I've done this in a
flare.
Yeah, I'm like I can say thisbecause I've literally been in
the hospital or our doctor'sappointments and I've still done
this in those moments, right,and so because of that, I'm
seeing that from all thecompassion in the world and all
of the thoughts.
But at the end of the day, if Ican look back six months from
(40:58):
now and I said that I was ableto accomplish this even in this
crazy season of what I'm at thatamount of confidence you cannot
manufacture.
Nope, I'm like like I just takethis podcast, for example.
I'm like do you guys know howmany times I wanted to quit this
(41:18):
podcast, as much as I enjoy it?
Y'all know I love the podcast,but as much as I enjoy it, it's
not like always easy.
No, but I do enjoy it,literally.
My husband was saying, nikita,you went in that call looking
like you were about to die, butyou love it so much.
You come out and you're like,you're so energized.
I'm like, cause it does that tome.
I know it does it.
(41:40):
At first it doesn't feel likethat and there are seasons where
it feels like I don't know ifthis is going to be possible and
I give myself a break.
Occasionally I'll take a breakand I come back to it.
But you can't do that untilyou've built the evidence behind
knowing right, like you can doit, yeah, yeah.
Janina Hamilton (41:57):
And there are some people that are just like
they're doers.
And you know the people thatyou look at, that you know
personally, that are like you're, like they're the most
confident people in the world.
When you look at the root of it, it's because they're not
afraid of failing, they're notafraid of doing something and
(42:19):
messing it up.
Yeah, and yes, that's hard,especially if you haven't you've
not been in that place.
But try it, even if it's like.
You know, I'm a big fan ofstarting small you know, one
thing one thing every week, onething every day, whatever I mean
(42:39):
.
I keep my bullet journal.
It's one of the things that Ido, but I have.
I write down one positive thingthat's happened in my business
every day.
Just one, yeah, just one.
Even if it's on the weekend,even if that meant that, like
some random, something happenedon social media, probably a post
(43:00):
from a month ago or something.
Like I got a like on something,okay, that happened, yeah.
Or or I was talking to somebodywhile I was out at a gathering
and they asked me what I did andI told them okay, I told
somebody what I did, you know.
So, finding and looking andtraining your brain to say, yes,
these things work, these thingshave you know, doing things
(43:25):
helps you to move forward andthat you can do something every
day, for it will help you totake even the tiniest bit of
action towards making more moneyin your business.
Nikita Williams (43:37):
Yeah, and newsflash.
Sometimes these small babysteps lead you to making money
and you think how did thathappen?
Janina Hamilton (43:53):
Oh girl.
Okay, so I have a little storyI have right now.
I have a client that's not abusiness client at all, just not
at all.
Chris, my husband was talkingto somebody and she was like, oh
well, my daughter has sicklecell and this and that, and
she's been struggling with thisand that.
And Chris was like, well, Ithink Janina can help her.
I'm like, okay, so by tellingother people, this is one lesson
(44:15):
tell other people what you doand familiar with what you do,
and they will send them to you.
Nikita Williams (44:23):
Right Clients can come from anywhere.
Y'all say that all the time.
Janina Hamilton (44:26):
Man, the best clients come from a network and
not other people singing yourpraises, because you can sing
your own praises all day longand people will not believe you.
But if somebody else says itget on that call, okay, okay,
got on the call.
Says it get on that call, okay,got on the call.
(44:51):
And the way that I've seen thisone client change like cause.
I'm using several differentthings within in there with
taking action and all of that,especially because it's not a
business client.
I don't have a particularexactly life coaching, exactly.
But we had one session where Iasked like, where are you right
now in your discomfort?
(45:11):
It was like a seven or eight.
We did our session, we didtapping.
That's our very firstexperience with tapping.
Got her down to a zero Okay,now we go a week and a half of.
Okay, now we go a week and ahalf, right.
And when she comes back, becauseshe's got several different
things, she's got like sicklecells, she has endometriosis,
(45:33):
she has diabetes, she's got aheart condition, she's got a lot
of things going on and so.
But we've also been talkingabout things like eating and
doing things different thingsbetter to help those health
conditions too, and I said, youknow, the decision that you made
(45:53):
to make these one tiny littletweaks right the picking up the
diet drink, the orderingsomething that was low carb, the
you know in one day that yousaw was the result of that
session, that telling yourselfthat you love yourself.
The impact that it can have onyourself by showing and telling
(46:17):
yourself that, look, I am worthtaking these steps.
I am worth taking one step canhave an impact even quicker than
you think, so that building upof your self-worth by taking
those actions that show that youknow and believe that you are
(46:38):
worth it can have long lastingeffects can have long lasting
effects.
Nikita Williams (46:51):
Yeah, so, so true.
I love that point.
I love that illustration.
It doesn't.
It is pretty magnificent how wecan take one thing and like
just the acknowledgement,acceptance and seeing it in a
different perspective can shiftso much and how it's important
to keep doing that because thenegative always can outweigh the
(47:13):
positive.
So you got to keep doing it,you got to keep doing.
Can't do it one time.
So love that, love that so much.
Any other things you would liketo share with us before we wrap
up around?
Some like someone who'slistening to this episode right
now, who's living with chronicillness, who's like you know, I
have a business, maybe they'recurrently in a business and
(47:33):
they're feeling stuck.
They're feeling like, you know,especially since the transition
from the pandemic to now, like,I think, a lot of people,
especially with chronic illness.
We were like living in heavenon Zoom and living our life, and
now everyone's like, no, let'sgo do the world.
And you're like, wait, what?
What are maybe a few things youcan share with them of where
they can start?
Janina Hamilton (47:52):
Yeah, If it's possible, get out of the house.
I know that can be hard forsomeone with a chronic illness,
but try to get out of the housefor an hour once a week Because
I found for myself that being athome that put me deeper into a
(48:15):
perfectionist mindset.
It put me deeper into the I cansit at my desk all day long or
I can take my laptop in the bedwith me.
All of that, and then I wasreally spinning my wheels rather
than actually getting work done.
So if you can get outside ofyour home environment for a
little bit to get some focusedwork done, do it.
Nikita Williams (48:41):
So helpful.
Yes, coworking has been mysaving grace, or the coffee shop
or wherever, Anywhere otherthan home.
Janina Hamilton (48:47):
A library yes, the library has free wifi.
Okay, Just get out of the house, get out of your environment
because home feels comfortable.
But home is your worst enemywhen it comes to a business.
It really productively.
It is your worst enemy becauseall you want to do is either
(49:10):
sleep or work Like you'reworking where you work, where
you live, and you need to getout of that space and, yeah,
spend time with other people ifyou can.
You know, I know and Iunderstand that not everybody
can do that, but if you can tryit and see the difference
between the how much you canmove the needle in that amount
of time, that way you can focusmore on resting and taking
(49:34):
better care of your health whenyou are at home.
But find something.
That's five minutes.
I work using the Pomodoromethod 25 minutes on, five
minutes off.
That also gives you time tothat clarity.
I step away from the desk.
I don't get on social media.
(49:54):
I have a book club in mymembership.
I read my, read in between.
You know, calm your eyes, getit away from a screen, but do
something for you every singleday.
That's what do something foryou and write down an
accomplishment every single day,even if you feel like it was
(50:15):
insignificant.
Find something because it'sthere.
Nikita Williams (50:19):
Yeah, love that so good.
I love that.
I love that.
I'm so glad we had thisconversation.
It was so good.
I hope you all can walk awaywith a few tips on how you can
build your confidence andovercome perfectionism.
A few other tidbits in here.
Janina, how can everyone findyou if they want to connect with
(50:41):
you and share for this oneexciting thing that's coming up
on the horizon that you'reexcited about?
Janina Hamilton (50:46):
Okay, I am Janina H coaching on Instagram
and you can also email me atJanina Hamiltoncom and I'll get
back to you.
You go on email and DM me.
I'm on there more than I shouldbe.
We'll just say that, no, I'mdoing better, because I'm like
I'm started reading more againand not just like improvement
(51:08):
books, I'm like reading fictionbooks again.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, it'sso much fun.
I used to read like a lot more,but you know, whatever, I don't
know what happened, but I'mback now and I love it so much.
But yeah, so I have a webinarcoming up, a free webinar that
I'm about to publish, hopefullysometime this week, maybe
(51:29):
earlier next week or early nextweek, whenever this podcast is
coming out.
I'm not sure when that is, buteither way, it's called Three
Secrets to OvercomePerfectionism and, ooh, what was
the other part?
I can't remember.
It's a long name.
I don't know why I did that,but either way, I will.
(51:50):
The link will be.
It's totally free, you knowyou'll be able to watch it.
Actually, let me just look itup.
Nikita Williams (51:57):
Yeah, and we'll definitely have like, even if
it's if this comes out afterthat.
I don't know if you'll have areplay or if it's going to be
like in a funnel or email.
It's going to be in a funnel,so it will be there forever.
Janina Hamilton (52:07):
It's called Three Secrets to Overcome
Perfectionism and ConfidentlySell your Services.
Nikita Williams (52:12):
Believe in yourself and take action.
Janina Hamilton (52:14):
So that is long ?
Yes, it is long.
So I was like, well, how can Ishorten it?
But if I don't shorten it, thenhow will they?
I don't know.
Nikita Williams (52:26):
Anyways, so it's there.
We'll definitely have.
You'll be able to connect withher and all that stuff.
We'll have everything in theshow notes and all of that.
Joss, is that the thing you'relooking forward?
Janina Hamilton (52:35):
to yes.
That is the thing that I amlooking forward to.
I'm really excited about it.
I got some interviews in there,yeah, so talk about keeping
promises to yourself as well.
You know, we make thosecommitments to everybody else
but ourselves, so let's do it soso much, this is so good, thank
(52:56):
you.
Nikita Williams (52:57):
Thank you so much for being on any last words
before we close out.
Janina Hamilton (53:02):
Yeah, so please remember that five minutes is
not as long as you think.
Take time for you, at the veryleast Five minutes for yourself,
and set a timer.
Don't go over the five minuteswhen you start.
Five minutes, but do it.
It will give you more claritythan you could ever imagine.
(53:22):
Love it, but do it.
It will give you more claritythan you could ever imagine,
love it.
Nikita Williams (53:32):
That's a wrap for this episode of Business
with Chronic Illness.
If you would like to start andgrow an online coaching business
with me, head to the show notesto click a link to book a sales
call and learn how to makemoney with chronic illness.
You can also check out ourwebsite at wwwcraftedtothrivecom
for this episode's show notesand join our email list to get
exclusive content where I coachyou on how to chronically grow a
profitable business whileliving with chronic illness.
(53:53):
Until next time, remember, yes,you are crafted to thrive.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com