September 6, 2025 • 31 mins
Archie wants to make a movie of his book. So, he asks Ida Lupino, this week’s guest at Duffy’s Tavern, to be his leading lady.
Originally aired on October 26, 1943. This is episode 101 of Duffy's Tavern.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
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Originally aired on October 26, 1943. This is episode 101 of Duffy's Tavern.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to Classic comedy of Old time Radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklbarger. Archie wants to make a movie of
his book, so he asks Ida Lupino, this week's guest
at Duffy's Tavern, to be his leading lady. This is
episode number one hundred and one of Duffy's Tavern, entitled
Guest Idle Lupino, and it originally aired on October twenty six,
(00:39):
nineteen forty three.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
A special rebroadcast for the American Armed Forces and their allies.
You're invited to drop in where the elite meet to
eat Duffy's tavern.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Hello, Duffy's wearing late mate date hot, you imagines baking.
Duffy ain't here, Hello Duffy tonight Idle of painter. Huh
oh yeah, gorgeous. He's got them, Why she needs them?
Yeah what the English would refer to as a ripping tomatoe. Yeah,
(01:27):
she's got the historyonic talent too. Huh histrionic talent, Duffy
Remember how Gypsy rose Lee used to pack him in
at the Fourteenth Street Burlesque. Well, histrionic talent, there's one
of them can do that with a clothes on. Well, Whipena.
(01:48):
She's been an actress ever since she was a little trick. Yeah,
a family has been in the acting racket for over
five hundred years. Huh before already cant what am I doing?
I'm traumatizing me. Book Duffy's first reader for the movies. Huh. Well,
(02:09):
I want to get it done in a hurry, Duffy,
before the book becomes a classic. Huh A classic? You
know that stuff in little print with no pictures that
nobody reads. Yeah, that's a classic. Well, Duffy, I'll caught
you back, okay, miss Dodger. Yeah you remember the fellow.
What's sent in one of them new silver pennies instead
(02:30):
of a dime for your book? Yeah? Brook, and he
returned the book.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
He wants a tennant back.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I only know what. Maybe ten cents is too much
for the book.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
Oh no, no, the price is low enough.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You think that price is low enough? Yeah, lor enough,
it's just the book. Ain't with it? And pray, how
do you know? Did you read it? Did you read it?
I wrote it, That's why I didn't read it. Fine, friend,
you are I can't spend the time for one lousy book.
(03:09):
Just wait till paramount a buys it duff his first
reader will be Paramount's last picture. Eddy, don't be so steptic.
Wait until you see idle a pino in my picture. Greatly,
I'm considering hump for depart Who are you gonna consider?
Have to see turns it down? Okay, forget it, Eddie,
(03:32):
I'm a jerk. Okay, Eddie, I'm a jerke. Okay, at
least agree on something. Let me tell you that this
story is bound to make a great picture. You know
it's about love, love love.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
I hate love.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
It was Duffy, you were all people rapping cupid?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
What does it mean?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Love?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
I turst the day I ever whistled at a fella?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
What's the matter? Did you have a fight with your
boyfriend Breckenbridge Hatsonfelder.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Archie, do not mention the name Breckenbridge Hotsonfelder in the
same breath with mine?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
That much wind I ain't got? But what did he
do to you?
Speaker 4 (04:19):
He is a faithless two timer?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh other girls.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Sunday, Another girl Monday, Another girl Tuesday, Another girl Thursday,
another girl?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
What happened Wednesday?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I had a date?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
You give a guy's sauce for the goose. He's gonna
go out and take again.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
But he kissed those ganders good night?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Oh didn't you kiss your date good night?
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Purely for patriotic reasons. He was a sailor.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You mean you wouldn't have kissed him if he was
a civilian.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Only if he was a citizen of the United States,
or if he had.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
His first papers. Now let me alone, miss Duffy. What's
the menaphin again that you look cloth?
Speaker 6 (05:07):
I'm full of shop shop all day soup? Why I'm
collecting empty tin cans for the Shelveagegan?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Couldn't you think of any other way of doing it?
Speaker 6 (05:21):
I tried another way, but the tune of fish man.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Fenn Agan, how much of the stuff did you eat?
Only my quota tidy chains. Well that's very patriotic, but
you know what, you know why the government that really
needs these cans?
Speaker 7 (05:38):
Well, shall I understand that they are endeavoring to obtain
the labels to relieve the paper.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
They want the tin to make into the steel. And
you know what steel becomes after it is molten total fire.
The thing to do is to take the tins, clean them,
flatten them out. Then the government takes him and they
melt them they smelled them and then they turn them
into munitions.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
They should have smelled them after the tuna fish was.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
All right, And I'll try to save all our tin
cans for you. Oh, thanks very much. By the way,
I hear you wrote a book, Yes, I did.
Speaker 6 (06:28):
What seems kind of silly and the cheap of to buy.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
One, missed Uffy. We're just stop worrying about bracking Bridge.
How come you never made a pass at our coroner
Johnny Johnson.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
By the way, and what is it about him to
interest me?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Well, he's wearing your favorite costume pants.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
And he ain't bad looking, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
And he ain't married, just your type hmmm.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
And mister Johnston, yes, I then with your looks, why
is it just stay single?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Well, miss Duffy, why do you stay single?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
That is aside to the point I should think you
could find, say some nice girl, say a nice really
pretty girl, say one whose father owns this place.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Miss Duffy, your father owns this place?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Johnny? Is this a proposal? No, Well, you have to
give me time to think it over.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
Go ahead and say, I heard you cried last night,
and I know why I heard you cry last night,
(08:01):
and so did I. Why did you make us hart,
I'm so old. Why did you take my heart?
Speaker 9 (08:19):
You didn't want it for your own? And if you
hadn't cared to make amends, I might have never did.
We'd be just friends. So calm your fears, dry your tears,
(08:50):
Kiss the boy you adore. Now you can smile to
night and cry more. And if you hadn't cared to
make a man, I might have never died.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
We'd be just friends.
Speaker 9 (09:22):
So calm your fis and dry your tears. Come kiss
the boy.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You a doll.
Speaker 9 (09:36):
Now you can smile to node and cry all more.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
That was now? Was hey Johnson? Really?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Mitey Johnson?
Speaker 5 (10:02):
That was beautiful?
Speaker 4 (10:03):
By the way, do you happen to know a song called?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Promise me?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Hey, no attention toward Johnny. She's a little cupid stupid. Hey,
wait a minute, ain't that idle of Pinot coming in? Well?
Miss Lapino, we fit your boonboy arge to Duffy.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Thank you duffhin duffy.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Well, aren't you dufphin perish forbid? My name is Archie.
I'm the manager here, Rah, How do you like the place?
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Very interesting? Who desecrated it?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Wesecreted ourselves? Part of it, and on our view, by
the way, observed a little English flag stuck in every
dull pick.
Speaker 10 (11:02):
Well, I'm glad to see that the union jack still
rules the Briday.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree with you. You see, we
try to make the place look like a ye yoga
what you know, yoga yold in your coffee behind?
Speaker 5 (11:20):
You want to get rid of some of this ye
old air, miss.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
La painto this air is air conditioned, yes.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
But I've never seen air in quite this condition.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
We rus has to be right, you know, as your
English would say, there is not enough smoke going up
to chutney quite a nun, sir said, you're doing last.
(11:56):
Would you care for topens of tea?
Speaker 5 (12:00):
We generally say spot of tea spotted.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Well, if you want to be sloppy about it, tell me.
Would you like your tea with or without tiffins? Oh?
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Always with tiffins?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Okay, eddie too tiffins and slice it?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
And why are we waiting for the tiffins? May I
have a cup of tea?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Well? Of course, pray allow me to dip the bag.
Would you care for some cream?
Speaker 10 (12:31):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Please, Well we ain't got none. You'll have to take
hote your mi's melk.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Well that's better than pasturated.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Pasturator what i'me English do to their own our language.
In the meantime, would you care for a little smack?
Speaker 10 (12:51):
Well, don't you think we ought to eat first?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Okay? Eddie and telling flounder please fill up flounder?
Speaker 8 (13:01):
Come about?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Well that sounds advertising.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Oh what's matter?
Speaker 5 (13:08):
This pilet looks rather unusual.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You see, Eddie, I told you when you're filling your fish,
that's the part you troll away. You'll blame me of
that fish. You still got the best part, fine, Edie?
No uh either about my book, The Duffy's First Reader.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
You know, Oh, yes, your book. What's it about?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Well, it's a story of my life. My biology you.
Speaker 10 (13:41):
Mean your autobiology or the biology is what you're right
after your debt?
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Well I was a little ahead of you.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah, well, uh yeah. Take a look at the book.
Read the read some of the funny stuff, the cracks. Hmmm.
Speaker 10 (14:01):
In marriage you start off with an armful and wind
up with a room full.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yes, clever stuff, eh.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Noel coward will kill himself.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Well, who cares the right and fail is too proud
of already. Besides, my stuff has sort of a cowardly touch. No,
I don't what i'd uh, I'd like I'd like you
to play in the screen version of this book.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Oh dear, And now I'm gonna wake up in a
minute and this will all be over.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Oh look, god, this is a break fee. You know
he'pen making them a pictures for a long time. Ain't
you stick with me? And you'll be up there making bees?
Speaker 10 (14:51):
Well, how can I turn it down? I mean, how
can I turn it down?
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Now? Listen? You can stand a good piece picture?
Speaker 5 (15:01):
What about billing?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Billing, or we'll charge everything to the studio that buys.
Speaker 10 (15:06):
It, Archie, I mean, how will our names appear on
the screen?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
How our names appear? Well, I'm willing to be fair
about it. We'll make it in alphabetical order.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
But your name begins with an A.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
What a coincidence?
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Hmm?
Speaker 10 (15:25):
Well, shake hands with I Eia Lupino.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Okay, Well, now leave us run through this ramonization, Eddie Mustafia,
Hey Vnzelle, Yes, Avanzelle. I want you to be the
guy who describes all the stuff that happens, you know.
Speaker 11 (15:40):
Oh you mean the narrator.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Will my face appear on the screen? Well, and I
don't know about you. See this picture may be in
technicolor and put your complexion.
Speaker 11 (15:50):
Why what's the matter with my complexion?
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Harry Green has gone the war.
Speaker 12 (16:28):
As Archie.
Speaker 10 (17:49):
Yeah, do you think this atrocity will make a picture?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Look made a love story out of the life of
Henry the Eight This whole life. He only had six
dames with me. That's a slow Saturday night. So don't
worry about it now. Where everybody sat with their pots. Okay,
west and wading with the orchestra. Okay, quiet on locasion,
(18:16):
action camera roll, the sets take it.
Speaker 11 (18:22):
Narrator, We take great pleasure and presenting a preview of
that great screen story. This is the Archie, A story
adaptated from the book Duffy's First Reader. The first reel
(18:47):
of this picture is based on an incident on page nineteen.
Quote the well groomed lover is usually well dressed unquote
real one a fashion of suburb in the heart of London.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Good tomorrow, dear lady, will if.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
It isn't bow Archie the bum Brummel come in.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
It is a lovely morning, dear lady, and I have
come to take your writing under hounds.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Oh what a beautiful riding habit your wedding? Are those
new jod hoppers.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Quick set me back a moon and sixpence? But you
know me, always piscatorially perfect.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Somebody throw him.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
A fish day a script please, Oh.
Speaker 10 (19:44):
Bo Archie, there's a reporter here from the Zitz Fashion
Weekly who wishes to interview you.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Oh where is the reporter? Could you give me a
statement on UFU has heart tried well? Hamberdasherie should always blend.
A loud tie should always be worn with a loud chack,
quiet time, quiet chape, soft time, soft chipe, no tie Westcott.
Speaker 10 (20:17):
What his lordship means, Sir, is that the trick is
not to avoid nothing vulgar.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Correct me, dear dear Charting.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
Oh what a lucky bride am I to have the
best dressed man in England?
Speaker 5 (20:33):
Choose my tosso.
Speaker 11 (20:42):
Our author knew the value of clothes to the lover,
but not only clothes again, page nineteen quote. If you
are going to be a successful lover, you got to
spend doll Remember the Chinese saying one buck is worth
a thousand words. Real too, a expensive cocktail lout.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Fun, isn't it, Gwen lan.
Speaker 13 (21:27):
Hum, have another salty Peanut, Thank you.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
It was so sweet of you to buy me these orchids.
Fight the expensive.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Toush. What does sixty bob mean to me? Dad?
Speaker 5 (21:57):
What a spender by Gargoyle?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Yes, a case of bubbly and uh Gargoyle, bring me
the check, I'll please. Gwendolen, this one is on me.
You bought the last round. What is the damage? Gargoyle?
Ninety five poppins, ninety five puppensay you are ninety five
(22:28):
ninety six ninety seven. Oh kill the buck, Thank you, playboy, Gwendolen. Tonight,
I'm going to kiss you good night, oh Chie.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
That's so sweet of you.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
But I think you've done enough for me already.
Speaker 11 (22:47):
And now our author turns to quote the choosing of
the mate unquote. The man of purse Pepicassidy will be
as fatriculous of choosing his mate as he will his underwear.
Real grieve the home of a very wealthy English chateau.
(23:08):
He is sitting alone with his daughter.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Ohmita, yes, my dolly daughter.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
I'm so lonely, so lonely.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Okay, I'll go.
Speaker 10 (23:30):
Oh I'm so lonely. If only Heaven would send me.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
A dream man.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Who are you Heaven sent me.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Heaven could have waited.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I don't know. Wait a good evening, Lovely lady.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
My, you're a handsome man.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
You are very observant. Then you too, fair lady ABIs.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
Who are you? Fair stranger? What is thy name of you?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I am nobody. Just call me sir, luck and bachieh
to cape you. I must carry up. I must needs
catch the nine o'clock tram.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Oh, no, no you can't. You mustn't. I'll kill myself.
What will become of me and my father's fifty four
billion dollars?
Speaker 10 (24:24):
I'm sorry, I want you say your murder fifty four
billion dollars.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
There must be a later tram.
Speaker 11 (24:35):
So we see with what patriculosophy our hero chose his
maiden and now became.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
But listen either where you're going. Don't you like this picture?
Speaker 10 (24:47):
Well, archie, I think it's a little too serious. You
see today Hollywood wants escape his pictures.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Escape as pictures. Huh, Well, well how do we do that?
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Well, I'm using the fire escape. You're on your own.
Good night.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
I wait on that. Oh it's a horrible.
Speaker 11 (25:08):
And now on page nineteen, we will show you why
our hero never.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Lost the Dame, Oh, shut up.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Now.
Speaker 14 (25:18):
Before we leave Duffy's Tavern, lave us put a couple
of nickels in Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's Jukebox with the faith
mate to beat well, the platter's spinning, the needles in
the grove, and here's the first number coming uppings.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
This rebroadcast of Duffy's Tavern was produced in the United
States of America.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Idelupino was born in nineteen eighteen in London, England. She
was an actress, director, writer and producer. Throughout her forty
eight year career, she appeared in fifty nine films and
directed eight. She owned her own production company, Filmmakers in Corporated.
She directed and produced the film Hitchhiker in nineteen fifty three.
(31:07):
She acted in mini films, TV and radio shows, and
she directed a bunch of TV shows like The Twilight Zone,
Have Gun, Will Travel, The Donna Reed Show, Gilligan's Island,
seventy seven Sunset Strip, The Rifleman, The Virginian, The Untouchables,
The Fugitive, and Bewitched. Idelipino died from a stroke while
(31:31):
undergoing treatment for colon cancer in nineteen ninety five. She
was seventy seven. Please send your questions and comments to
host at classiccomedyotr dot com until next time. In the
words of Mark Twain, courage is resistance to fear, mastery
of fear, not absence of fear.
Welcome to Classic comedy of Old time Radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklbarger. Archie wants to make a movie of
his book, so he asks Ida Lupino, this week's guest
at Duffy's Tavern, to be his leading lady. This is
episode number one hundred and one of Duffy's Tavern, entitled
Guest Idle Lupino, and it originally aired on October twenty six,
(00:39):
nineteen forty three.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
A special rebroadcast for the American Armed Forces and their allies.
You're invited to drop in where the elite meet to
eat Duffy's tavern.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Hello, Duffy's wearing late mate date hot, you imagines baking.
Duffy ain't here, Hello Duffy tonight Idle of painter. Huh
oh yeah, gorgeous. He's got them, Why she needs them?
Yeah what the English would refer to as a ripping tomatoe. Yeah,
(01:27):
she's got the historyonic talent too. Huh histrionic talent, Duffy
Remember how Gypsy rose Lee used to pack him in
at the Fourteenth Street Burlesque. Well, histrionic talent, there's one
of them can do that with a clothes on. Well, Whipena.
(01:48):
She's been an actress ever since she was a little trick. Yeah,
a family has been in the acting racket for over
five hundred years. Huh before already cant what am I doing?
I'm traumatizing me. Book Duffy's first reader for the movies. Huh. Well,
(02:09):
I want to get it done in a hurry, Duffy,
before the book becomes a classic. Huh A classic? You
know that stuff in little print with no pictures that
nobody reads. Yeah, that's a classic. Well, Duffy, I'll caught
you back, okay, miss Dodger. Yeah you remember the fellow.
What's sent in one of them new silver pennies instead
(02:30):
of a dime for your book? Yeah? Brook, and he
returned the book.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
He wants a tennant back.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I only know what. Maybe ten cents is too much
for the book.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
Oh no, no, the price is low enough.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You think that price is low enough? Yeah, lor enough,
it's just the book. Ain't with it? And pray, how
do you know? Did you read it? Did you read it?
I wrote it, That's why I didn't read it. Fine, friend,
you are I can't spend the time for one lousy book.
(03:09):
Just wait till paramount a buys it duff his first
reader will be Paramount's last picture. Eddy, don't be so steptic.
Wait until you see idle a pino in my picture. Greatly,
I'm considering hump for depart Who are you gonna consider?
Have to see turns it down? Okay, forget it, Eddie,
(03:32):
I'm a jerk. Okay, Eddie, I'm a jerke. Okay, at
least agree on something. Let me tell you that this
story is bound to make a great picture. You know
it's about love, love love.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
I hate love.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
It was Duffy, you were all people rapping cupid?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
What does it mean?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Love?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
I turst the day I ever whistled at a fella?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
What's the matter? Did you have a fight with your
boyfriend Breckenbridge Hatsonfelder.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Archie, do not mention the name Breckenbridge Hotsonfelder in the
same breath with mine?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
That much wind I ain't got? But what did he
do to you?
Speaker 4 (04:19):
He is a faithless two timer?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh other girls.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Sunday, Another girl Monday, Another girl Tuesday, Another girl Thursday,
another girl?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
What happened Wednesday?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I had a date?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
You give a guy's sauce for the goose. He's gonna
go out and take again.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
But he kissed those ganders good night?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Oh didn't you kiss your date good night?
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Purely for patriotic reasons. He was a sailor.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You mean you wouldn't have kissed him if he was
a civilian.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Only if he was a citizen of the United States,
or if he had.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
His first papers. Now let me alone, miss Duffy. What's
the menaphin again that you look cloth?
Speaker 6 (05:07):
I'm full of shop shop all day soup? Why I'm
collecting empty tin cans for the Shelveagegan?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Couldn't you think of any other way of doing it?
Speaker 6 (05:21):
I tried another way, but the tune of fish man.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Fenn Agan, how much of the stuff did you eat?
Only my quota tidy chains. Well that's very patriotic, but
you know what, you know why the government that really
needs these cans?
Speaker 7 (05:38):
Well, shall I understand that they are endeavoring to obtain
the labels to relieve the paper.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
They want the tin to make into the steel. And
you know what steel becomes after it is molten total fire.
The thing to do is to take the tins, clean them,
flatten them out. Then the government takes him and they
melt them they smelled them and then they turn them
into munitions.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
They should have smelled them after the tuna fish was.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
All right, And I'll try to save all our tin
cans for you. Oh, thanks very much. By the way,
I hear you wrote a book, Yes, I did.
Speaker 6 (06:28):
What seems kind of silly and the cheap of to buy.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
One, missed Uffy. We're just stop worrying about bracking Bridge.
How come you never made a pass at our coroner
Johnny Johnson.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
By the way, and what is it about him to
interest me?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Well, he's wearing your favorite costume pants.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
And he ain't bad looking, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
And he ain't married, just your type hmmm.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
And mister Johnston, yes, I then with your looks, why
is it just stay single?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Well, miss Duffy, why do you stay single?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
That is aside to the point I should think you
could find, say some nice girl, say a nice really
pretty girl, say one whose father owns this place.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Miss Duffy, your father owns this place?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Johnny? Is this a proposal? No, Well, you have to
give me time to think it over.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
Go ahead and say, I heard you cried last night,
and I know why I heard you cry last night,
(08:01):
and so did I. Why did you make us hart,
I'm so old. Why did you take my heart?
Speaker 9 (08:19):
You didn't want it for your own? And if you
hadn't cared to make amends, I might have never did.
We'd be just friends. So calm your fears, dry your tears,
(08:50):
Kiss the boy you adore. Now you can smile to
night and cry more. And if you hadn't cared to
make a man, I might have never died.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
We'd be just friends.
Speaker 9 (09:22):
So calm your fis and dry your tears. Come kiss
the boy.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You a doll.
Speaker 9 (09:36):
Now you can smile to node and cry all more.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
That was now? Was hey Johnson? Really?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Mitey Johnson?
Speaker 5 (10:02):
That was beautiful?
Speaker 4 (10:03):
By the way, do you happen to know a song called?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Promise me?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Hey, no attention toward Johnny. She's a little cupid stupid. Hey,
wait a minute, ain't that idle of Pinot coming in? Well?
Miss Lapino, we fit your boonboy arge to Duffy.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Thank you duffhin duffy.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Well, aren't you dufphin perish forbid? My name is Archie.
I'm the manager here, Rah, How do you like the place?
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Very interesting? Who desecrated it?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Wesecreted ourselves? Part of it, and on our view, by
the way, observed a little English flag stuck in every
dull pick.
Speaker 10 (11:02):
Well, I'm glad to see that the union jack still
rules the Briday.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree with you. You see, we
try to make the place look like a ye yoga
what you know, yoga yold in your coffee behind?
Speaker 5 (11:20):
You want to get rid of some of this ye
old air, miss.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
La painto this air is air conditioned, yes.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
But I've never seen air in quite this condition.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
We rus has to be right, you know, as your
English would say, there is not enough smoke going up
to chutney quite a nun, sir said, you're doing last.
(11:56):
Would you care for topens of tea?
Speaker 5 (12:00):
We generally say spot of tea spotted.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Well, if you want to be sloppy about it, tell me.
Would you like your tea with or without tiffins? Oh?
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Always with tiffins?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Okay, eddie too tiffins and slice it?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
And why are we waiting for the tiffins? May I
have a cup of tea?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Well? Of course, pray allow me to dip the bag.
Would you care for some cream?
Speaker 10 (12:31):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Please, Well we ain't got none. You'll have to take
hote your mi's melk.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Well that's better than pasturated.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Pasturator what i'me English do to their own our language.
In the meantime, would you care for a little smack?
Speaker 10 (12:51):
Well, don't you think we ought to eat first?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Okay? Eddie and telling flounder please fill up flounder?
Speaker 8 (13:01):
Come about?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Well that sounds advertising.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Oh what's matter?
Speaker 5 (13:08):
This pilet looks rather unusual.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You see, Eddie, I told you when you're filling your fish,
that's the part you troll away. You'll blame me of
that fish. You still got the best part, fine, Edie?
No uh either about my book, The Duffy's First Reader.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
You know, Oh, yes, your book. What's it about?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Well, it's a story of my life. My biology you.
Speaker 10 (13:41):
Mean your autobiology or the biology is what you're right
after your debt?
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Well I was a little ahead of you.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah, well, uh yeah. Take a look at the book.
Read the read some of the funny stuff, the cracks. Hmmm.
Speaker 10 (14:01):
In marriage you start off with an armful and wind
up with a room full.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yes, clever stuff, eh.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Noel coward will kill himself.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Well, who cares the right and fail is too proud
of already. Besides, my stuff has sort of a cowardly touch. No,
I don't what i'd uh, I'd like I'd like you
to play in the screen version of this book.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Oh dear, And now I'm gonna wake up in a
minute and this will all be over.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Oh look, god, this is a break fee. You know
he'pen making them a pictures for a long time. Ain't
you stick with me? And you'll be up there making bees?
Speaker 10 (14:51):
Well, how can I turn it down? I mean, how
can I turn it down?
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Now? Listen? You can stand a good piece picture?
Speaker 5 (15:01):
What about billing?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Billing, or we'll charge everything to the studio that buys.
Speaker 10 (15:06):
It, Archie, I mean, how will our names appear on
the screen?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
How our names appear? Well, I'm willing to be fair
about it. We'll make it in alphabetical order.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
But your name begins with an A.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
What a coincidence?
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Hmm?
Speaker 10 (15:25):
Well, shake hands with I Eia Lupino.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Okay, Well, now leave us run through this ramonization, Eddie Mustafia,
Hey Vnzelle, Yes, Avanzelle. I want you to be the
guy who describes all the stuff that happens, you know.
Speaker 11 (15:40):
Oh you mean the narrator.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Will my face appear on the screen? Well, and I
don't know about you. See this picture may be in
technicolor and put your complexion.
Speaker 11 (15:50):
Why what's the matter with my complexion?
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Harry Green has gone the war.
Speaker 12 (16:28):
As Archie.
Speaker 10 (17:49):
Yeah, do you think this atrocity will make a picture?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Look made a love story out of the life of
Henry the Eight This whole life. He only had six
dames with me. That's a slow Saturday night. So don't
worry about it now. Where everybody sat with their pots. Okay,
west and wading with the orchestra. Okay, quiet on locasion,
(18:16):
action camera roll, the sets take it.
Speaker 11 (18:22):
Narrator, We take great pleasure and presenting a preview of
that great screen story. This is the Archie, A story
adaptated from the book Duffy's First Reader. The first reel
(18:47):
of this picture is based on an incident on page nineteen.
Quote the well groomed lover is usually well dressed unquote
real one a fashion of suburb in the heart of London.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Good tomorrow, dear lady, will if.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
It isn't bow Archie the bum Brummel come in.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
It is a lovely morning, dear lady, and I have
come to take your writing under hounds.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Oh what a beautiful riding habit your wedding? Are those
new jod hoppers.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Quick set me back a moon and sixpence? But you
know me, always piscatorially perfect.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Somebody throw him.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
A fish day a script please, Oh.
Speaker 10 (19:44):
Bo Archie, there's a reporter here from the Zitz Fashion
Weekly who wishes to interview you.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Oh where is the reporter? Could you give me a
statement on UFU has heart tried well? Hamberdasherie should always blend.
A loud tie should always be worn with a loud chack,
quiet time, quiet chape, soft time, soft chipe, no tie Westcott.
Speaker 10 (20:17):
What his lordship means, Sir, is that the trick is
not to avoid nothing vulgar.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Correct me, dear dear Charting.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
Oh what a lucky bride am I to have the
best dressed man in England?
Speaker 5 (20:33):
Choose my tosso.
Speaker 11 (20:42):
Our author knew the value of clothes to the lover,
but not only clothes again, page nineteen quote. If you
are going to be a successful lover, you got to
spend doll Remember the Chinese saying one buck is worth
a thousand words. Real too, a expensive cocktail lout.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Fun, isn't it, Gwen lan.
Speaker 13 (21:27):
Hum, have another salty Peanut, Thank you.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
It was so sweet of you to buy me these orchids.
Fight the expensive.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Toush. What does sixty bob mean to me? Dad?
Speaker 5 (21:57):
What a spender by Gargoyle?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Yes, a case of bubbly and uh Gargoyle, bring me
the check, I'll please. Gwendolen, this one is on me.
You bought the last round. What is the damage? Gargoyle?
Ninety five poppins, ninety five puppensay you are ninety five
(22:28):
ninety six ninety seven. Oh kill the buck, Thank you, playboy, Gwendolen. Tonight,
I'm going to kiss you good night, oh Chie.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
That's so sweet of you.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
But I think you've done enough for me already.
Speaker 11 (22:47):
And now our author turns to quote the choosing of
the mate unquote. The man of purse Pepicassidy will be
as fatriculous of choosing his mate as he will his underwear.
Real grieve the home of a very wealthy English chateau.
(23:08):
He is sitting alone with his daughter.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Ohmita, yes, my dolly daughter.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
I'm so lonely, so lonely.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Okay, I'll go.
Speaker 10 (23:30):
Oh I'm so lonely. If only Heaven would send me.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
A dream man.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Who are you Heaven sent me.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Heaven could have waited.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I don't know. Wait a good evening, Lovely lady.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
My, you're a handsome man.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
You are very observant. Then you too, fair lady ABIs.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
Who are you? Fair stranger? What is thy name of you?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I am nobody. Just call me sir, luck and bachieh
to cape you. I must carry up. I must needs
catch the nine o'clock tram.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Oh, no, no you can't. You mustn't. I'll kill myself.
What will become of me and my father's fifty four
billion dollars?
Speaker 10 (24:24):
I'm sorry, I want you say your murder fifty four
billion dollars.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
There must be a later tram.
Speaker 11 (24:35):
So we see with what patriculosophy our hero chose his
maiden and now became.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
But listen either where you're going. Don't you like this picture?
Speaker 10 (24:47):
Well, archie, I think it's a little too serious. You
see today Hollywood wants escape his pictures.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Escape as pictures. Huh, Well, well how do we do that?
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Well, I'm using the fire escape. You're on your own.
Good night.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
I wait on that. Oh it's a horrible.
Speaker 11 (25:08):
And now on page nineteen, we will show you why
our hero never.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Lost the Dame, Oh, shut up.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Now.
Speaker 14 (25:18):
Before we leave Duffy's Tavern, lave us put a couple
of nickels in Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's Jukebox with the faith
mate to beat well, the platter's spinning, the needles in
the grove, and here's the first number coming uppings.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
This rebroadcast of Duffy's Tavern was produced in the United
States of America.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Idelupino was born in nineteen eighteen in London, England. She
was an actress, director, writer and producer. Throughout her forty
eight year career, she appeared in fifty nine films and
directed eight. She owned her own production company, Filmmakers in Corporated.
She directed and produced the film Hitchhiker in nineteen fifty three.
(31:07):
She acted in mini films, TV and radio shows, and
she directed a bunch of TV shows like The Twilight Zone,
Have Gun, Will Travel, The Donna Reed Show, Gilligan's Island,
seventy seven Sunset Strip, The Rifleman, The Virginian, The Untouchables,
The Fugitive, and Bewitched. Idelipino died from a stroke while
(31:31):
undergoing treatment for colon cancer in nineteen ninety five. She
was seventy seven. Please send your questions and comments to
host at classiccomedyotr dot com until next time. In the
words of Mark Twain, courage is resistance to fear, mastery
of fear, not absence of fear.
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