September 23, 2025 • 33 mins
Archie has convinced himself that he and Lucille Ball used to be an item. So, he tries to rekindle their romance when she visits Duffy’s Tavern.
Originally aired on November 9, 1943. This is episode 103 of Duffy's Tavern.
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Originally aired on November 9, 1943. This is episode 103 of Duffy's Tavern.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of Old time Radio. I'm your host,
Ronical Barger. Archie has convinced himself that he and Lucille
Ball used to be an item, so he tries to
rekindle their romance when she visits Duffy's Tavern. This is
episode number one hundred and three of Duffy's Tavern, entitled
(00:37):
Guest Lucille Ball, and it originally aired on November nine,
nineteen forty three.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
The Special Service Division and bite you Soldiers, sailors and
Marines of the United Nations to drop in at Duffy's tavern.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hello, Duppy's where you let me die? Don't you?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
To managers making Duppy ain't here? Hello Duffy tonight, Blue
Seal Ball from Hollywood, The tomato with the carrot hair, Yeah,
very nurishing. Oh you'd like a dish like that. Huh,
but you also like friends and brunettes too, whether you
draw the line, oh you don't like ballhead of dames? Yeah, well, Duffy,
(01:28):
I can't talk now. I gotta get ready for a
good old lose seal. Oh sure her and I used
to be nips in the butt together. Yeah, certainly she's
from Brooklyn.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Huh no.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
When she was a kid, her parents Migraine daughter there Yeah, yeah,
to escape persecution. Her father was a Yankee fan. Yeah, duffy. Yeah,
that's gonna be all homeway. Okay, I'll call you back.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Why I remember? Yeah he got that movie actors. Miss
Ball just called.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Oh yeah, good old see her, my dear friend and
the chilih sweetheart.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah, your dear friend and childish sweetheart just call and
wants to know who's dger?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
She was kidding, Eddie? Who she and me were tomboys together? Geez?
She was a pretty girl. Yeah, she was a pretty girl.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
She was madly in love with you, and she would
die for you when she wanted to marry it.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Yes, like a panty, Eddie. How did you know? That's easy?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I just thought of the truth and stayed as far
away from it as I could.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Listen, Eddie, yesterday that might have been funny, But but
yesterday I was a nobody.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Today. Who knows, maybe I will be.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
An old friend of mine is gonna have me listed
in that book of famous men.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Who's that? You don't mean? Who's who? You mean? Who's who?
And you split an infentitive? You fright? Modified the particip.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
No, Eddie, this is a similar anthropology.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
It's called Who's that? Read this? Let Eddie still read
the name of the publisher human and sister their boyhood
friend Artie. How are you, art, old pal?
Speaker 5 (03:33):
I am doing very well, as you can see by
feeling this very extensive stationery.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I just remember that you are an old friend, and.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
Consequently I am in a position to have your name
lifted in our book?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Who's that?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Since you are an old friend, this will cost you nothing.
Always glad to help an old friend. Signed your old friend?
They went through it.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Probably Joe Clinker, Yeah, good old sninker Clinker. I haven't
seen him in years, and that was his nickname, stinking
Why did you call him back? And besides none of
us could stand him?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
So you see how he went? Me name coming out?
And who's that? Uh, we'll see a ball with the
no position.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
There's number those at me time as somebody too?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Good evening, Agan, how do I look? Good night?
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Pretty?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
No ugly? And on yoursual wine? Well? Got you know
my shot? I shaved out my mustache. Then again you
never had no mustache? No, I wonder why shaved this morning?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Let me look at the back of your head. M
I thought, so, I think you better shave it back
on again. A look, why are you so worried about
your looks tonight outside of what's obvious?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Uh well, Lucille Ball's coming down here. You don't want there,
I got no any thoughts. What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Well, I figure might be if I play my cards,
but I shall give me a free pass to.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
The movies began. That's a very naughty thought. I know what.
Sometimes I don't know what comes over me. Hey, just
low seal ball.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
The red hair of it is not real. It certainly
it's real, and that way for more than a year,
natural hair. It's probably heredited.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I don't believe in hereditas. Why not, Well, welcome my
mother red hair. Look at my father, red hair. Look
at me? No man resting for mamma telling it had
to see you.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Well, well, well, but it is my old pal, my
old friend Odgey. Wait a minute, you're not yes, Jay
went Worth, Ashley Stinker Clinker. Excuse me, I mean that
sneaker Ashley. Oh no, you can't say that, Memore Odge.
It doesn't rhyme with Ashley like it did with Clinker.
(06:36):
Never know it did rhyme well, how are you?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
How are you doing? Oh? Never mind about me? How
are you doing?
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Odge?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Well, I can't say that I'm riches process. I've I've
saved up a pretty penny or two.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Good.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I'm glad I'm not wasting my I mean, I'm glad
you're not wasting your life. Well, you're always glad to
see an old Now let's get down a bit.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
He come to gold bring Archie.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Schubert and Scheister have sent me here to say that
they would be honored to list you the author of
Duffy's First Reader in the nineteen forty four edition of
Who's that you mean? I'm gonna be I moralized? Gee,
that's anna an honor. Well, just look at some of
the names you would be listed with, John Charles Roberts, HV.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Costallanas, Cecil B. De Gaul and Mendel Wilkie.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Boy and my names and my name will be there too,
huh mister Ashley, Yeah, yes, sir Archie. And let's go
over to the table and fill out this questionnaire.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Now already, don't let nobody quid to me.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
I gotta fill out this question after Sherman and sister
let's see and her named Archie addressed one hundred and
Daytane in the quarter Dan Street. You've got to put
down your zone number zone. Oh yeah upstairs in the
back boy, Yeah, he can't getting in this book at
(08:12):
some miner. Huh do you send.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Them an application to get on these fucking lists or
do they just pick your.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Name at random? What do you mean the guy didn't
ask me for no dolt? Did he? Studio Eddy? Please
don't be so septical.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Have you got another actor coming down here tonight?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Yeah? Msuffi? Uh? Who stale ball? And what's wrong with actresses?
Speaker 7 (08:38):
Nothing? But why do they always have to be girls?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
They got a strict rule in Hollywood that all actresses
have to be girls. Listen, why was you so late tonight?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Where was you?
Speaker 7 (08:49):
Jell Ken, jelly gills, na'ty an acoletic club canteen.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
And keen ugly dame's got a canteen? Now? Well, uh,
what do you do for the guys?
Speaker 7 (09:00):
Well, first we give the soldier a cup of coffee,
and then we asked if he has a sweetheart back home.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
And if he has a sweetheart, we just keep.
Speaker 7 (09:10):
Asking until we find one that hasn't.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Well, suppose you don't find.
Speaker 7 (09:14):
One that hasn't, then we close for the night, but
usually find at least one.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
What a man trap.
Speaker 7 (09:23):
Don't worry, Archie, we have very strict rules. No jolly
girl is allowed to kiss a fella unless he's been overseas. Geez,
you should have seen the handsome soldiers you're forby kiss.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Tonight whereabouts overseas? Had he been Oklahoma? That ain't overseas.
Speaker 7 (09:44):
You gotta cause the Mississippi to get there. And the
ocean closed into the Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Doesn't it. No, the Mississippi flows into the ocean too.
Speaker 7 (09:53):
Wait, there has already kissed him.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I'm surprised you don't just put a pan of shalt
water in.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
A joint hop across the ocean flows into the Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Here. Could I come down to your canteen some night?
Speaker 7 (10:08):
Oh mister hey, you can come down in a thing poy.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I'll be glad to what time do the door is closed? Well?
Speaker 7 (10:17):
The doors locked at twelve o'clock.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Yeah, the door's lock at twelve o'clock.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
But you're a strong looking guy, Johnny, you cannot fight
your way out. Listen, paint no attention to it. Go
ahead and sing something, Sing that paper doll.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Huh.
Speaker 8 (10:35):
I'm gonna buy a paper doll that I can call
my own, a doll that other fellow couldn't steal, and
then a flirty flirty guys with a flirty flirty eyes.
We'll have to flirt with DOLLI is that all real?
(10:57):
When I come home at night, she will be waiting.
She'll be the truest doll in all the world.
Speaker 7 (11:09):
I'd rather have.
Speaker 8 (11:10):
A paper doll to call mine home and have a
fickle minded. Realize, girl, I'm gonna buy a paper doll
that I can call my own, a doll and other
fellows wouldn't steal. And then the thirty fretty guys and
(11:33):
the thirty flirty eyes will have the third with dollies
that are real. When I come home midnight, she will
be waiting. She'll be the truest dolly in the world.
I'd rather have a doll that I can call my
(11:56):
own than have a fickle mind.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Uh real long.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Listen now, Eddie, I gotta finish this question. Then now
leave us see here for education. One like what There'll
tell him the truth, leave it blank, cut it out,
let's see now education.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
For three years, I attended.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
At the varsity at U c l A at ann Arbor, Michigan.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
U c l A. Are you in Michigan?
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Oh huh okay, I'll change it the University of Montana.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I know that's in Michigan. Uh. Let's see University of
h m O.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
And I went there and I can't spell it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Why, I'll make it U c l A that you
can sell.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yeah, yeah, I partriculated from U c l A H
where I graduated non campus Memphis Une.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Yeah, I got it down. And what does it mean
that he that means with high honors? Oh naturally.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
PhD uh Now uh let's see uh post graduate work, Well,
that means that means a p G correspondence for it.
Speaker 6 (13:39):
Oh what a that one you.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Took on muscle buildings. I can't never got no diploma,
never got no muscle mid Wait a minute that he
here comes a little silk blowing out here. You gotter
beat it? What she probably want to be alone? You
know this aceptimental moment. Well, louse sale, poor little Celia.
(14:06):
I haven't changed the fitness again. You show the sentimental moment.
Oho a mi li sela.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Think of some of the nicknames of guys you used
to know when you was a kid.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Well, let's see, there was one we called the shorty,
the jerk. That wasn't you.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I was a tall guy.
Speaker 9 (14:30):
Then there was another one we call handsome.
Speaker 7 (14:34):
No, I come on think, wait, you're not Samdy to Sydney.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Perish forbid sela. Maybe I can refreshing up your memory.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Remember how the gang used to get under the fire hydrant?
Remember get under the fire hide the whole gang on.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
A hot day. And he was such a snob. He
was insist that I'm wearing the bathing suit.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Fire Look, you remember left these Metropolitan Museum of Pool.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Where all the bums used to hang out.
Speaker 9 (15:14):
Oh no, I remember you?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Oh yeah, Archie, Yeah, Firefly told you my nickname? You
West would have remembered me in a second.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
I don't want to say it.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
What was it?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Did she harrysh for this? So? Yeah? And that this
is missed up?
Speaker 4 (15:45):
But you remember how the little homely kid that everybody
said she'd go out of it.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
And she didn't.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Oh yes, I remember the one you used to take
all of the boys, trip them, sit.
Speaker 7 (15:56):
On him and kiss them blackwise. Thank you?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
How are you my stuff? You look very very lovely?
Didn't recognize me. She's blind.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Uh you know this, Paul. It's a trible You've been
in Hollywood two years and yet you still got a
Brooklyn act that you very.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
You're a nerd.
Speaker 7 (16:21):
If you'll pardon my church the words, I don't think
nothing to it. So here you are a Hollywood star.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Well what's wrong with that?
Speaker 7 (16:34):
Well, it's all mattered.
Speaker 9 (16:35):
What a girl want.
Speaker 7 (16:36):
Hollywood is movie stars, you remember, But what I mean
is movie is all right if one one to make
a silly career of hitting a different fella every day.
One day Clark Gables kissing you, and then the next
(16:59):
day Tilt Power, then next day Rosa pla. Anyways, where
did Papa get another cash?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Here?
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Look, let stuffy please, Papa desires and hunty inventory.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Go count the pickle take speak please?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Well, Locille, oh find a way. You don't mind me
calling you a little seal?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Not at all? Sheee? Well, miss Baul, you you haven't
mentioned how you liked the place there? Oh yes, I
have under my breast. Well let herre it. We like
ladies comments.
Speaker 9 (17:41):
This isn't the lady's coming.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Well, anyways, it's lovely to see you again. You don't
know what it's been like you know, you in Hollywood,
me in New York, over three hundred miles apart.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
As the crow fly.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
How else would I go? Yeah, I was afraid with
all that horrible expanse Betwichu, I said that Twains would
never meet how tag? Yes, wise, what was it? What
(18:20):
was I saying? Again?
Speaker 9 (18:20):
You were saying something about you being a nobody?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Was I?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Well?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
I assumed this. Well, that's where you were wrong. I
am no longering nobody. Since I wrote this book that
Duffy's first reader. You reader, I always out of talent
for writing.
Speaker 9 (18:37):
Yes, I remember those fences in Brooklyn, not.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Only Spencer's I used to write on well mostly it
was Spencer. Anyways, Certainly I.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Write this book and well and get hold overnight, I
wake up and who's that?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
What's that? Who's that?
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Who's not?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
First we'll see who's that. There's a sort of a
who's who? What's what? In the world? Well, now that
makes it really hard, makes it really hard. What do
you mean? Well?
Speaker 9 (19:22):
Now, if you and I take up where we left off,
aren't you all the colonists will say, what's their name?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Tell for who's this? Because he's in Who's Best yeah,
lily girl, don't worry about her.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Why do you care what idle gossip mongers? And don't
forget the old perperber. Any publicity is good publicity as
long as they don't mention your name. Ah, let's see you.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Look lovely standing there with that red hair of yours,
lighted up by the soft blow from the pinball machine.
You know something about that, Harry yours? What about it? Well?
I believe in traffic rules, but that red don't make
me want to stop. Hmmm.
Speaker 9 (20:11):
I believe in traffic rules too, but that's complexion of yours.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
What about it? That green makes me want to go? See?
Speaker 7 (20:24):
You know?
Speaker 4 (20:26):
I'm filling out a questionnaire here, and there's a question
that says a type of woman preferred.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Why do you think I'm gonna put down female?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Well, yeah, but what a little coach and I could
change it from a female to redheaded female. And where
it says name, I could easily change it from Archie
to auchie ball.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Are you sure you're not Shorty the jerk cut the
kit a.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
This is wonderful of seal, you knowing me working on
this questionnaire together, you know, sort of intimate like sending
out our laundry in the same bag. Hey, that's an idea,
sending out our laundry together. You think there's any Chancellor.
Speaker 9 (21:10):
Zeal But as much chance as there isn't getting it back?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Am I to take it that you sprint to be
known at the future? Missus Archie crazy? Mmm? Wellie, have
you finished the question yet? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (21:25):
By the way, miss Ball, this is mister Ashley. Mister Ashley,
miss Ball, mister Rashley, may I present? How do you do?
Speaker 3 (21:35):
I understand this is a sort of a reunion veggas
laughing yesternight? Uh, miss this is all homwik you know. Uh,
Stinker here is from the old neighbor. Oh please, Archie,
miss Ball. Stinker is just a boyhood nickname.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Children sometimes have cruel top But thank you. I think
you can talk plainer than that now, Archie, I like
your opinion of one bore be. What kind of leather
do you think the book should be bound? Here? I
(22:19):
found what all books are about. Oh, I must remember
that that's a good thing for a writer to know.
What kind of boundings have you got?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Well? Morocco, big skin, tin zel, calf skin swaye, well
swaye is nice?
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But hate but thinking I'm killing all them little sways
just to cover.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Well, Archie, I'll be running along now or we miss
ball before I leave. But I have your autograph, and Archie,
I would like to have you tiny or too?
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Okay? Thank you and Antie, you old friend. Next time
I come to see you, I hope I'll be bringing
you news you been awarded the Nobel Prize.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Well I'll be just satisfied with a putzel of prize. Well,
so long, so ch and here's your receipt.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
You know those seal is nothing like old friends. Hey,
what do you mean by a receipt? Wait a minute,
what is this thing?
Speaker 9 (23:23):
Let me see, I undersigned, agree to purchase and.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
How do you like that? What an Ashley? That's thinker
tied out the baby.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
Wait a minute, I signed one of those things too.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
How do you like that? An old friend from Brooklyn? Yeah,
and he told us the bridge.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
How before we leave Dotty's tavern, leave us put a
couple of nickels and Dotty's juke Duffy's jukebox with the
fat meat, the beat well, the platters, spinning, the needles,
and the grove. Here's the first number coming up.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
I'm gonna thing a thing. I'm gonna cruise a little
c and fraB your head. Leave your worry on your doorsteps.
(27:07):
Just direct your see on the sunny.
Speaker 10 (27:12):
Side of the tree and you'll hear the bitter pa
And that hay is your step passing me.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So please on the stunning side of the street, as
you do, all with no flu on the day.
Speaker 7 (27:42):
A sea come walking into For if I never have athing, I'll.
Speaker 6 (27:50):
Be rich rock Hill with food that mighty.
Speaker 11 (27:57):
On the sunny side the sea, you do walk to
the king, we go to no parade off for the.
Speaker 6 (28:14):
Lad around round land room it might go ever thing,
I'll be.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Rich like we be balk.
Speaker 11 (28:30):
On the party.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Duffy's Cavern was rebroadcast qally for few men and women
in the Armed Forces of the United Nations by the
Special Service Division of the War Department of the United
States of America.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Lucille Ball is indeed the Queen of comedy. Lucille Desire
Ball was born in nineteen eleven. She entered acting at
an early age, but struggled somewhat in the nineteen thirties
to find her place. She made quite a few movies
in the thirties and forties, but she stayed in the
B list category. In nineteen forty, she married Desi Arnez,
(31:18):
so she had been married about three years when this
episode was recorded. Lucy's career hit the big time when
she was cast as Liz Cooper in the radio show
My Favorite Husband. That was one of the first radio shows,
that old time radio shows that we did on this podcast.
So if you go way way back, all the way
(31:39):
to the very beginning in twenty eighteen, you will see
all of the episodes where we had Lucille Ball starring
in My Favorite Husband, and that radio show led directly
to I Love Lucy, And it was that TV show
that made her a major star and a household name.
Even today, height even two day in reruns on DVDs
(32:05):
and streaming, people are enjoying I Love Lucy around the
world even as we speak. In her sixty year career,
she appeared in almost eighty five movies, not to mention
hundreds of TV episodes and radio episodes, and on Broadway
as well. Some of my favorite Lucille Ball movies are
(32:29):
as follows, the nineteen thirty eight movie Room Service, starring
the Marx Brothers and also Lucille Ball. In nineteen forty
nine she played in Sorrowful Jones with Bob Hope, and
then a year later in nineteen fifty she was in
Fancy Pants, which is just a hilarious comedy, and that
(32:51):
was with Bob Hope as well. Nineteen fifty four with
her husband at that time, Desi Arnez, The Long Long Trail,
another classic, and then one of the last movies she
did with Henry Fonda, Yours Mine and Ours, another classic
classic movie. Lucille Bald died of an aortic aneurysm in
(33:15):
nineteen eighty nine. She was seventy seven, but she lives
on in her wealth of TV, radio and movie appearances,
and she continues to make us laugh. Please send your
questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr dot com until
next time. In the words of Robin Williams, I think
the saddest people always try their hardest to make people
(33:36):
happy because they know what it feels like to feel
absolutely worthless, and they don't want anyone else to feel
like that.
Welcome to classic comedy of Old time Radio. I'm your host,
Ronical Barger. Archie has convinced himself that he and Lucille
Ball used to be an item, so he tries to
rekindle their romance when she visits Duffy's Tavern. This is
episode number one hundred and three of Duffy's Tavern, entitled
(00:37):
Guest Lucille Ball, and it originally aired on November nine,
nineteen forty three.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
The Special Service Division and bite you Soldiers, sailors and
Marines of the United Nations to drop in at Duffy's tavern.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hello, Duppy's where you let me die? Don't you?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
To managers making Duppy ain't here? Hello Duffy tonight, Blue
Seal Ball from Hollywood, The tomato with the carrot hair, Yeah,
very nurishing. Oh you'd like a dish like that. Huh,
but you also like friends and brunettes too, whether you
draw the line, oh you don't like ballhead of dames? Yeah, well, Duffy,
(01:28):
I can't talk now. I gotta get ready for a
good old lose seal. Oh sure her and I used
to be nips in the butt together. Yeah, certainly she's
from Brooklyn.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Huh no.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
When she was a kid, her parents Migraine daughter there Yeah, yeah,
to escape persecution. Her father was a Yankee fan. Yeah, duffy. Yeah,
that's gonna be all homeway. Okay, I'll call you back.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Why I remember? Yeah he got that movie actors. Miss
Ball just called.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Oh yeah, good old see her, my dear friend and
the chilih sweetheart.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah, your dear friend and childish sweetheart just call and
wants to know who's dger?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
She was kidding, Eddie? Who she and me were tomboys together? Geez?
She was a pretty girl. Yeah, she was a pretty girl.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
She was madly in love with you, and she would
die for you when she wanted to marry it.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Yes, like a panty, Eddie. How did you know? That's easy?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I just thought of the truth and stayed as far
away from it as I could.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Listen, Eddie, yesterday that might have been funny, But but
yesterday I was a nobody.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Today. Who knows, maybe I will be.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
An old friend of mine is gonna have me listed
in that book of famous men.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Who's that? You don't mean? Who's who? You mean? Who's who?
And you split an infentitive? You fright? Modified the particip.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
No, Eddie, this is a similar anthropology.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
It's called Who's that? Read this? Let Eddie still read
the name of the publisher human and sister their boyhood
friend Artie. How are you, art, old pal?
Speaker 5 (03:33):
I am doing very well, as you can see by
feeling this very extensive stationery.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I just remember that you are an old friend, and.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
Consequently I am in a position to have your name
lifted in our book?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Who's that?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Since you are an old friend, this will cost you nothing.
Always glad to help an old friend. Signed your old friend?
They went through it.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Probably Joe Clinker, Yeah, good old sninker Clinker. I haven't
seen him in years, and that was his nickname, stinking
Why did you call him back? And besides none of
us could stand him?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
So you see how he went? Me name coming out?
And who's that? Uh, we'll see a ball with the
no position.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
There's number those at me time as somebody too?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Good evening, Agan, how do I look? Good night?
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Pretty?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
No ugly? And on yoursual wine? Well? Got you know
my shot? I shaved out my mustache. Then again you
never had no mustache? No, I wonder why shaved this morning?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Let me look at the back of your head. M
I thought, so, I think you better shave it back
on again. A look, why are you so worried about
your looks tonight outside of what's obvious?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Uh well, Lucille Ball's coming down here. You don't want there,
I got no any thoughts. What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Well, I figure might be if I play my cards,
but I shall give me a free pass to.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
The movies began. That's a very naughty thought. I know what.
Sometimes I don't know what comes over me. Hey, just
low seal ball.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
The red hair of it is not real. It certainly
it's real, and that way for more than a year,
natural hair. It's probably heredited.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I don't believe in hereditas. Why not, Well, welcome my
mother red hair. Look at my father, red hair. Look
at me? No man resting for mamma telling it had
to see you.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Well, well, well, but it is my old pal, my
old friend Odgey. Wait a minute, you're not yes, Jay
went Worth, Ashley Stinker Clinker. Excuse me, I mean that
sneaker Ashley. Oh no, you can't say that, Memore Odge.
It doesn't rhyme with Ashley like it did with Clinker.
(06:36):
Never know it did rhyme well, how are you?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
How are you doing? Oh? Never mind about me? How
are you doing?
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Odge?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Well, I can't say that I'm riches process. I've I've
saved up a pretty penny or two.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Good.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I'm glad I'm not wasting my I mean, I'm glad
you're not wasting your life. Well, you're always glad to
see an old Now let's get down a bit.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
He come to gold bring Archie.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Schubert and Scheister have sent me here to say that
they would be honored to list you the author of
Duffy's First Reader in the nineteen forty four edition of
Who's that you mean? I'm gonna be I moralized? Gee,
that's anna an honor. Well, just look at some of
the names you would be listed with, John Charles Roberts, HV.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Costallanas, Cecil B. De Gaul and Mendel Wilkie.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Boy and my names and my name will be there too,
huh mister Ashley, Yeah, yes, sir Archie. And let's go
over to the table and fill out this questionnaire.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Now already, don't let nobody quid to me.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
I gotta fill out this question after Sherman and sister
let's see and her named Archie addressed one hundred and
Daytane in the quarter Dan Street. You've got to put
down your zone number zone. Oh yeah upstairs in the
back boy, Yeah, he can't getting in this book at
(08:12):
some miner. Huh do you send.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Them an application to get on these fucking lists or
do they just pick your.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Name at random? What do you mean the guy didn't
ask me for no dolt? Did he? Studio Eddy? Please
don't be so septical.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Have you got another actor coming down here tonight?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Yeah? Msuffi? Uh? Who stale ball? And what's wrong with actresses?
Speaker 7 (08:38):
Nothing? But why do they always have to be girls?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
They got a strict rule in Hollywood that all actresses
have to be girls. Listen, why was you so late tonight?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Where was you?
Speaker 7 (08:49):
Jell Ken, jelly gills, na'ty an acoletic club canteen.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
And keen ugly dame's got a canteen? Now? Well, uh,
what do you do for the guys?
Speaker 7 (09:00):
Well, first we give the soldier a cup of coffee,
and then we asked if he has a sweetheart back home.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
And if he has a sweetheart, we just keep.
Speaker 7 (09:10):
Asking until we find one that hasn't.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Well, suppose you don't find.
Speaker 7 (09:14):
One that hasn't, then we close for the night, but
usually find at least one.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
What a man trap.
Speaker 7 (09:23):
Don't worry, Archie, we have very strict rules. No jolly
girl is allowed to kiss a fella unless he's been overseas. Geez,
you should have seen the handsome soldiers you're forby kiss.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Tonight whereabouts overseas? Had he been Oklahoma? That ain't overseas.
Speaker 7 (09:44):
You gotta cause the Mississippi to get there. And the
ocean closed into the Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Doesn't it. No, the Mississippi flows into the ocean too.
Speaker 7 (09:53):
Wait, there has already kissed him.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I'm surprised you don't just put a pan of shalt
water in.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
A joint hop across the ocean flows into the Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Here. Could I come down to your canteen some night?
Speaker 7 (10:08):
Oh mister hey, you can come down in a thing poy.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I'll be glad to what time do the door is closed? Well?
Speaker 7 (10:17):
The doors locked at twelve o'clock.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Yeah, the door's lock at twelve o'clock.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
But you're a strong looking guy, Johnny, you cannot fight
your way out. Listen, paint no attention to it. Go
ahead and sing something, Sing that paper doll.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Huh.
Speaker 8 (10:35):
I'm gonna buy a paper doll that I can call
my own, a doll that other fellow couldn't steal, and
then a flirty flirty guys with a flirty flirty eyes.
We'll have to flirt with DOLLI is that all real?
(10:57):
When I come home at night, she will be waiting.
She'll be the truest doll in all the world.
Speaker 7 (11:09):
I'd rather have.
Speaker 8 (11:10):
A paper doll to call mine home and have a
fickle minded. Realize, girl, I'm gonna buy a paper doll
that I can call my own, a doll and other
fellows wouldn't steal. And then the thirty fretty guys and
(11:33):
the thirty flirty eyes will have the third with dollies
that are real. When I come home midnight, she will
be waiting. She'll be the truest dolly in the world.
I'd rather have a doll that I can call my
(11:56):
own than have a fickle mind.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Uh real long.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Listen now, Eddie, I gotta finish this question. Then now
leave us see here for education. One like what There'll
tell him the truth, leave it blank, cut it out,
let's see now education.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
For three years, I attended.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
At the varsity at U c l A at ann Arbor, Michigan.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
U c l A. Are you in Michigan?
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Oh huh okay, I'll change it the University of Montana.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I know that's in Michigan. Uh. Let's see University of
h m O.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
And I went there and I can't spell it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Why, I'll make it U c l A that you
can sell.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yeah, yeah, I partriculated from U c l A H
where I graduated non campus Memphis Une.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Yeah, I got it down. And what does it mean
that he that means with high honors? Oh naturally.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
PhD uh Now uh let's see uh post graduate work, Well,
that means that means a p G correspondence for it.
Speaker 6 (13:39):
Oh what a that one you.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Took on muscle buildings. I can't never got no diploma,
never got no muscle mid Wait a minute that he
here comes a little silk blowing out here. You gotter
beat it? What she probably want to be alone? You
know this aceptimental moment. Well, louse sale, poor little Celia.
(14:06):
I haven't changed the fitness again. You show the sentimental moment.
Oho a mi li sela.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Think of some of the nicknames of guys you used
to know when you was a kid.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Well, let's see, there was one we called the shorty,
the jerk. That wasn't you.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I was a tall guy.
Speaker 9 (14:30):
Then there was another one we call handsome.
Speaker 7 (14:34):
No, I come on think, wait, you're not Samdy to Sydney.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Perish forbid sela. Maybe I can refreshing up your memory.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Remember how the gang used to get under the fire hydrant?
Remember get under the fire hide the whole gang on.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
A hot day. And he was such a snob. He
was insist that I'm wearing the bathing suit.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Fire Look, you remember left these Metropolitan Museum of Pool.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Where all the bums used to hang out.
Speaker 9 (15:14):
Oh no, I remember you?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Oh yeah, Archie, Yeah, Firefly told you my nickname? You
West would have remembered me in a second.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
I don't want to say it.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
What was it?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Did she harrysh for this? So? Yeah? And that this
is missed up?
Speaker 4 (15:45):
But you remember how the little homely kid that everybody
said she'd go out of it.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
And she didn't.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Oh yes, I remember the one you used to take
all of the boys, trip them, sit.
Speaker 7 (15:56):
On him and kiss them blackwise. Thank you?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
How are you my stuff? You look very very lovely?
Didn't recognize me. She's blind.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Uh you know this, Paul. It's a trible You've been
in Hollywood two years and yet you still got a
Brooklyn act that you very.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
You're a nerd.
Speaker 7 (16:21):
If you'll pardon my church the words, I don't think
nothing to it. So here you are a Hollywood star.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Well what's wrong with that?
Speaker 7 (16:34):
Well, it's all mattered.
Speaker 9 (16:35):
What a girl want.
Speaker 7 (16:36):
Hollywood is movie stars, you remember, But what I mean
is movie is all right if one one to make
a silly career of hitting a different fella every day.
One day Clark Gables kissing you, and then the next
(16:59):
day Tilt Power, then next day Rosa pla. Anyways, where
did Papa get another cash?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Here?
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Look, let stuffy please, Papa desires and hunty inventory.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Go count the pickle take speak please?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Well, Locille, oh find a way. You don't mind me
calling you a little seal?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Not at all? Sheee? Well, miss Baul, you you haven't
mentioned how you liked the place there? Oh yes, I
have under my breast. Well let herre it. We like
ladies comments.
Speaker 9 (17:41):
This isn't the lady's coming.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Well, anyways, it's lovely to see you again. You don't
know what it's been like you know, you in Hollywood,
me in New York, over three hundred miles apart.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
As the crow fly.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
How else would I go? Yeah, I was afraid with
all that horrible expanse Betwichu, I said that Twains would
never meet how tag? Yes, wise, what was it? What
(18:20):
was I saying? Again?
Speaker 9 (18:20):
You were saying something about you being a nobody?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Was I?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Well?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
I assumed this. Well, that's where you were wrong. I
am no longering nobody. Since I wrote this book that
Duffy's first reader. You reader, I always out of talent
for writing.
Speaker 9 (18:37):
Yes, I remember those fences in Brooklyn, not.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Only Spencer's I used to write on well mostly it
was Spencer. Anyways, Certainly I.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Write this book and well and get hold overnight, I
wake up and who's that?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
What's that? Who's that?
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Who's not?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
First we'll see who's that. There's a sort of a
who's who? What's what? In the world? Well, now that
makes it really hard, makes it really hard. What do
you mean? Well?
Speaker 9 (19:22):
Now, if you and I take up where we left off,
aren't you all the colonists will say, what's their name?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Tell for who's this? Because he's in Who's Best yeah,
lily girl, don't worry about her.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Why do you care what idle gossip mongers? And don't
forget the old perperber. Any publicity is good publicity as
long as they don't mention your name. Ah, let's see you.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Look lovely standing there with that red hair of yours,
lighted up by the soft blow from the pinball machine.
You know something about that, Harry yours? What about it? Well?
I believe in traffic rules, but that red don't make
me want to stop. Hmmm.
Speaker 9 (20:11):
I believe in traffic rules too, but that's complexion of yours.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
What about it? That green makes me want to go? See?
Speaker 7 (20:24):
You know?
Speaker 4 (20:26):
I'm filling out a questionnaire here, and there's a question
that says a type of woman preferred.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Why do you think I'm gonna put down female?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Well, yeah, but what a little coach and I could
change it from a female to redheaded female. And where
it says name, I could easily change it from Archie
to auchie ball.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Are you sure you're not Shorty the jerk cut the
kit a.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
This is wonderful of seal, you knowing me working on
this questionnaire together, you know, sort of intimate like sending
out our laundry in the same bag. Hey, that's an idea,
sending out our laundry together. You think there's any Chancellor.
Speaker 9 (21:10):
Zeal But as much chance as there isn't getting it back?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Am I to take it that you sprint to be
known at the future? Missus Archie crazy? Mmm? Wellie, have
you finished the question yet? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (21:25):
By the way, miss Ball, this is mister Ashley. Mister Ashley,
miss Ball, mister Rashley, may I present? How do you do?
Speaker 3 (21:35):
I understand this is a sort of a reunion veggas
laughing yesternight? Uh, miss this is all homwik you know. Uh,
Stinker here is from the old neighbor. Oh please, Archie,
miss Ball. Stinker is just a boyhood nickname.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Children sometimes have cruel top But thank you. I think
you can talk plainer than that now, Archie, I like
your opinion of one bore be. What kind of leather
do you think the book should be bound? Here? I
(22:19):
found what all books are about. Oh, I must remember
that that's a good thing for a writer to know.
What kind of boundings have you got?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Well? Morocco, big skin, tin zel, calf skin swaye, well
swaye is nice?
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But hate but thinking I'm killing all them little sways
just to cover.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Well, Archie, I'll be running along now or we miss
ball before I leave. But I have your autograph, and Archie,
I would like to have you tiny or too?
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Okay? Thank you and Antie, you old friend. Next time
I come to see you, I hope I'll be bringing
you news you been awarded the Nobel Prize.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Well I'll be just satisfied with a putzel of prize. Well,
so long, so ch and here's your receipt.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
You know those seal is nothing like old friends. Hey,
what do you mean by a receipt? Wait a minute,
what is this thing?
Speaker 9 (23:23):
Let me see, I undersigned, agree to purchase and.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
How do you like that? What an Ashley? That's thinker
tied out the baby.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
Wait a minute, I signed one of those things too.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
How do you like that? An old friend from Brooklyn? Yeah,
and he told us the bridge.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
How before we leave Dotty's tavern, leave us put a
couple of nickels and Dotty's juke Duffy's jukebox with the
fat meat, the beat well, the platters, spinning, the needles,
and the grove. Here's the first number coming up.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
I'm gonna thing a thing. I'm gonna cruise a little
c and fraB your head. Leave your worry on your doorsteps.
(27:07):
Just direct your see on the sunny.
Speaker 10 (27:12):
Side of the tree and you'll hear the bitter pa
And that hay is your step passing me.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So please on the stunning side of the street, as
you do, all with no flu on the day.
Speaker 7 (27:42):
A sea come walking into For if I never have athing, I'll.
Speaker 6 (27:50):
Be rich rock Hill with food that mighty.
Speaker 11 (27:57):
On the sunny side the sea, you do walk to
the king, we go to no parade off for the.
Speaker 6 (28:14):
Lad around round land room it might go ever thing,
I'll be.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Rich like we be balk.
Speaker 11 (28:30):
On the party.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Duffy's Cavern was rebroadcast qally for few men and women
in the Armed Forces of the United Nations by the
Special Service Division of the War Department of the United
States of America.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Lucille Ball is indeed the Queen of comedy. Lucille Desire
Ball was born in nineteen eleven. She entered acting at
an early age, but struggled somewhat in the nineteen thirties
to find her place. She made quite a few movies
in the thirties and forties, but she stayed in the
B list category. In nineteen forty, she married Desi Arnez,
(31:18):
so she had been married about three years when this
episode was recorded. Lucy's career hit the big time when
she was cast as Liz Cooper in the radio show
My Favorite Husband. That was one of the first radio shows,
that old time radio shows that we did on this podcast.
So if you go way way back, all the way
(31:39):
to the very beginning in twenty eighteen, you will see
all of the episodes where we had Lucille Ball starring
in My Favorite Husband, and that radio show led directly
to I Love Lucy, And it was that TV show
that made her a major star and a household name.
Even today, height even two day in reruns on DVDs
(32:05):
and streaming, people are enjoying I Love Lucy around the
world even as we speak. In her sixty year career,
she appeared in almost eighty five movies, not to mention
hundreds of TV episodes and radio episodes, and on Broadway
as well. Some of my favorite Lucille Ball movies are
(32:29):
as follows, the nineteen thirty eight movie Room Service, starring
the Marx Brothers and also Lucille Ball. In nineteen forty
nine she played in Sorrowful Jones with Bob Hope, and
then a year later in nineteen fifty she was in
Fancy Pants, which is just a hilarious comedy, and that
(32:51):
was with Bob Hope as well. Nineteen fifty four with
her husband at that time, Desi Arnez, The Long Long Trail,
another classic, and then one of the last movies she
did with Henry Fonda, Yours Mine and Ours, another classic
classic movie. Lucille Bald died of an aortic aneurysm in
(33:15):
nineteen eighty nine. She was seventy seven, but she lives
on in her wealth of TV, radio and movie appearances,
and she continues to make us laugh. Please send your
questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr dot com until
next time. In the words of Robin Williams, I think
the saddest people always try their hardest to make people
(33:36):
happy because they know what it feels like to feel
absolutely worthless, and they don't want anyone else to feel
like that.
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