June 14, 2025 • 32 mins
When Milton Berle visits the Tavern, Archie tries to get Milton to give Duffy’s daughter, Miss Duffy, a part in the Ziegfeld Follies.
Originally aired on January 5, 1943. This is episode 72 of Duffy's Tavern.
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Originally aired on January 5, 1943. This is episode 72 of Duffy's Tavern.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklbarger. When Milton Burle visits the tavern, Archie
tries to get Milton to give Duffy's daughter, Miss Duffy,
a part in the Zigfeld Follies. This is episode number
seventy two of Duffy's Tavern, entitled Guest Milton Burle, and
it originally aired on January five, nineteen forty three.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
A special Service Division and VAT show soldiers, sailors and
marines of the United Nations to drop in at Duffy's tavern.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Hello, Duffy's where you late me to eat? Oughn't you
to manage speaking? Duffy ain't here?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Hello Duffy, Uh, Duffy. You know who's coming down here tonight?
Milton Boyle. Yeah, the start of the new zig Field Follies.
What has he got nice legs? Duffy Duffy. Please, you'll
remember Milton, the kid that used to steal the joke books. Yeah,
(01:27):
thedn't say that he made up the jokes himself. Yeah,
that's the guy. Yeah, Milton Duffy with you. Everybody's a bomb.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Well, Duffy, why don't you be more like me. You
know the new Year's resolution I made what stop stealing
from the cash register?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Oh, duffy.
Speaker 6 (01:53):
I resolved that I.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Will help my fellow man, be he mineral, vegetable, or
even you Duffy.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Good bye, say I.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
What's that sign you're writing, miss Kia welcome sign for
Milton Borough. No, it's a resolution, Eddie, one of them
New Year's sayings, you know, sort of a proverb.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Listen to it.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
There is a well known golden rule, true the ages
it's been true.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Always be good to your neighbors.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
He may live next door to you.
Speaker 6 (02:33):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Huh. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense too.
Speaker 7 (02:39):
How about hanging up a sign for the waiter me?
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Like?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Why Eddie?
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Well like this. The golden rule has a fine.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Intense, But a ten cent tip will pay the rent money, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Don't you know that there's some things in life that
money can't buy.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
You give me the money, I'll do the shopping.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Oh hello, Finnigan, Hey Finnigan. You know who's coming down
here tonight? Slton boil Is start a big field.
Speaker 6 (03:10):
Folly, Oh boy, the jig field folly.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
What's up, Finnegan?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
That's a show, you know, with a lot of beautiful
dames and chorus girls pressed up for nothing. But you
know what I mean, Finnegan, And.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
They call it the Follies. What foolish you bought that.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Uh, Finnegan. They don't call it the Filies because it's foolish.
They call it the follies because people lived at Zigfield,
you know, when he first put the thing on you. No,
like the first time they opened that fish market, they
called it Fulton's Folly, I.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Say, do not. Why don't they call it jig Field's
fish Market?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Well, Finnigan, it is a very strange quake of human
nature that when a guy pays four point forty for
a seat, he'd rather see a dame than a fish
God sir, Oh, my stuffy, how are you?
Speaker 8 (04:13):
My?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
You look charming tonight?
Speaker 7 (04:15):
I you don't, I stuffy.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
I didn't mean.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
It was just part of me resolution to be nice
to people.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
Oh, you don't have to apologize. I know I look
attractive tonight. A woman always knows when she's more attractive
than usual. Oh, fella's whistle at around the street.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
I see, well, I'll come. You're all joked down? Is
there something special?
Speaker 7 (04:40):
Oh certainly ain't Milton Beryl coming here tonight. Yeah, well,
ain't it possibly can get me in the folly?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
No it ain't.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Why not because the Follies just got all the stage
hands they need.
Speaker 7 (04:55):
I want to be a stage hand. I want to act,
I want to sing, I wanna dance. I want to
be what's.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Burl gonna do? So cold drinks and a lot of
you and a folly?
Speaker 7 (05:11):
Oh yeah, what's so funny about it? Wasn't I the
star of the ten Jolly Girls, Acy, military Review and
war bon pageant folly?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
That sounds like the greatest military reverse of the year.
Speaker 7 (05:26):
Oh yeah, well, it just so happens. I was the
head of the tenchent Why when I walked down the
stage and said I am mischief the boys need me. Yeah,
I was so good the audience stood up and shouted
send it to Africa. So now why couldn't Milton Grill?
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Worright, I'm gonna missed uppy. The Follies is different. It
ain't fris girl like you and the Fonnies. You kind
of walk up and down on the stage in a
fading suit. You know, a thousand guys is laring at you.
Make an unkempt remarks now giving you the once over,
(06:07):
making you feel uncomfortable?
Speaker 7 (06:10):
So what I do it all summer for nothing? To
Coney Island? I feel very comfortable.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Uh please, Ms Stuffie, don't ask me to ask Burl
about a thing like this.
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Isn't well, Akie?
Speaker 7 (06:23):
What about that resolution of yours? Help you fell a
human being?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
That's right, I'm helping Burl. He's a human being too,
I think, miss Stuffie.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
I've been thinking it over and I think I got
it the way I can get your job in the follies. Wow,
I will change you into a different woman. I'll turn
you from night in to day. I will be Frankenstein
and you will be my monster.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
What are you going to do to me?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
You, miss Duffie, are going to be a glamorous French singer.
I can't speak French, so what you can't sing?
Speaker 6 (07:03):
Needed?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I will make you a glamorous star with boyfriends by
the galore. We'll get Seymour infitting it to help us,
and you'll be Wait a minute, hey, Bud, why are
you snooping around for I'm Clark Dennis.
Speaker 9 (07:18):
I sing here, so what.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
So who's stopping you? Ladies and gentlemen. Clark Dennis a
terrific singer. Good enough for you, Bud, good enough?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Okay? You me am I stuffy? I want to talk
to you a minute. Here's when I want. As long
as you're not in love with somebody else, why don't
you fall in love with me?
Speaker 9 (07:53):
You're driving me crazy, baby cry? Will you tell me no?
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Or will you tell me yes?
Speaker 9 (08:01):
You gotta go over boar push some one Sunday, leave
it or not as bad to be.
Speaker 6 (08:10):
As long as you're.
Speaker 9 (08:11):
Not in love with anyone else?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Why don't you fall in love with me?
Speaker 9 (08:28):
You got me crazy baby trying to get Will you
tell me?
Speaker 8 (08:34):
Nor? Will you tell me that you gotta.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Go over boar push someone Sunday, leave it or not
as bad to be.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
As long as you're not in love with anyone else?
Why don't you fall in love with me? Baby? Why
don't you fall in love with me? Mount Dennis?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
If you were pretty or I might get you into
the folly Stone.
Speaker 7 (09:15):
And now suddenly arrival.
Speaker 10 (09:16):
I'm mister Milton Bart I'm New York, Hollywood, and Lord's sake, thank.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
You, thank you, my good man, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 11 (09:31):
Here here's something for your trouble.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
This is a nickel.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
I got more trouble than that.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Wait a minute, this is a lead nickel.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
How cheap of me? Here's a lead quarter.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Well, Meltain, Hawaii, looking as fine as a fat fat
look great?
Speaker 11 (09:54):
Oh well, it's very very easy these days oxy to
fool people a shave, a haircut, Say, Archie.
Speaker 6 (10:02):
You're you're looking pretty fit yourself.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Well, I'm laid a very healthy life. You're not playing
of exercise? Get me daily dozen every day, twelve games.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
At four.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Pool rooms.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
My good man, what do you do for fresh air?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I play with the wender of.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
Archie.
Speaker 11 (10:21):
Archie, that is not enough. You know that health is
the most important thing in life. Now look at me, strong, sturdy.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
Full of big ol. Yes, Sir Ralph in Hollywood.
Speaker 11 (10:32):
I go horseback riding, play golf every day, then to
the mountains skiing in a bathing suit, the icy wind
circulating through my blood.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
Melton, what are you confident that I came out without
my rubbers?
Speaker 11 (10:50):
But Archie, I've got great resistance and we'll go away in.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
About four months.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Oh that's still bad, Uh, Milton, I understand too bad. Well,
you know, Melton, it's a funny coincidence. I seen your
last picture and I don't know, Sammara. I suddenly gotta huntch.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Hit me back in the hunks.
Speaker 11 (11:12):
Son, My dear boy, do you know that the Schubert's
had a terrible time getting me to leave Hollywood?
Speaker 6 (11:21):
You didn't know that to do.
Speaker 11 (11:22):
They sent me telegram after telegram, wire after wire, and
I ignored them. Finally they sent me a paid wire
and I opened it. It said, Burl, come back to
the legitimate fitter, and I laughed. Then I said we
want you for our new musical, and I sneered. Then
I said we want you to star in the follies
with fifty beautiful girls.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
So here I am.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Fifty beautiful names.
Speaker 6 (11:45):
Yes, Uh? Why are they paying you?
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Melton?
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Who cares?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Same old Melton push over for feminine punker toad?
Speaker 8 (11:56):
Why do way? Melton?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I want to find aldgain a girl in the folly.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
I'll be glad to get you one. There's lots of them.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
No, Melton, this is a name I want you to
put into the fire. Oh, I see a beautiful French Danny.
You know the biggest star in Paris, the toast of
the Thames.
Speaker 6 (12:18):
Thames Archie if you're thinking of that river in Paris.
The word is Thames.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
That's the French pronunciation.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Anyways, Melton, When this dame sings them French love songs,
you know, like Mademoiselle from Moments, it brings lumps to
your eyes. But why should I stand here talking? I'll
have you meet it monsieur monsieur yay, mister Brown, I
(13:00):
want you to make that grammar's French monsieur FEEFI the feet.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Hinky tinkyo?
Speaker 7 (13:17):
You think blas do?
Speaker 6 (13:19):
I say? Wait a minute, Archie.
Speaker 11 (13:23):
I was down here two years ago and the girl
punching the cash register looked an awful lot like Fifi here.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yes, probably a case of francarnation. Peepie, haven't I seen
you before?
Speaker 7 (13:37):
What's a blaf?
Speaker 6 (13:40):
What did you do in Fall?
Speaker 7 (13:44):
I studied in school?
Speaker 6 (13:48):
What zinging school?
Speaker 7 (13:51):
The ten jolly girls?
Speaker 6 (13:54):
Essie ac.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, that's French.
Speaker 6 (14:00):
A kad to me?
Speaker 11 (14:08):
Noah, uh tell me tell me, my little moron, Blassie.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
What could you do in the zig ffolli.
Speaker 7 (14:19):
Using I dances?
Speaker 6 (14:25):
What no train zeal?
Speaker 8 (14:30):
Now?
Speaker 6 (14:30):
Milton?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Will you hear this name sing? You'll see why she
aroused the rage of Paris. Milton She's got millions of guys.
Casener oftener, a king's transom, juice.
Speaker 6 (14:52):
A diamond terrara, A what a terrara? What a that too?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Nothing is so good for this name. A meltin to
Pietie resists.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Uh. You are about to hear the greatest living French
entertainer of her nationality, dead or alive?
Speaker 6 (15:20):
Can I take my choice?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Milton listen to her first, Mister van Staden, drummroll, please
thank you, ladies and John Domes. We now introduced the
Darling of Mosemont, the wickedest woman in Paris. Monsur fiffee,
(15:45):
while Duffy proceed ahead. Pete tight one, Ah.
Speaker 7 (15:59):
And Daniel, and to you, dear mister Boyle, I crozy kids.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
Lucky for me, I can't catch.
Speaker 9 (16:11):
First.
Speaker 7 (16:11):
I relax for you. I think from one of my
biggest pumps, the mood to your odor.
Speaker 6 (16:20):
Door.
Speaker 7 (16:22):
When the scene opens, I marry bully Base. I'm talking
to my sweet ap Pierre, Ah, Pierre, Pierre. I love you.
I love you so much. I ate you, and other
times I urt you so much. I love you, I
(16:43):
love you, your fool, don't touch me, go away, I
adore you, come back. No I despise you, you fool.
I despise you and love you and despise you. He's me.
Speaker 11 (16:57):
It sounds like the foreign version of tobacco roll, Pierre,
Why do.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
You spell me? Why are you so cold? Kenned? Be
that somewhere you have another woman waiting for you?
Speaker 6 (17:12):
Well if he hasn't his nuts.
Speaker 7 (17:15):
Ah, Pierre, you have enough woman. But I will have
the revenge from this. You will not a scare from this.
Speaker 6 (17:24):
You will die from this. We can all die, you know. Now, Look, Archie,
I've heard enough. Will you tell her? What is this
a wonderful disease?
Speaker 7 (17:36):
Again?
Speaker 6 (17:37):
You remember me? Jack Timore?
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (17:42):
Wait?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
Who is this walking mattress here?
Speaker 4 (17:48):
He's just another one of faith his countless admirers.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Tell me you love me, Tell me that you will
become my wife, to live in my seventy eighth will
mentioned with fourteen.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
Albums, what clade and seventy eight room? You want me
to live in?
Speaker 10 (18:05):
A shack jack, shack Jack, I'll be back whack. Wait
a minute. If you do not love me, life has
no meaning for me. Well, Kipia, do I kiel myself.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
On another day? Another suicide?
Speaker 6 (18:37):
She's sadly a killer Anchie Meltain.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Yeah, Eddie removed that plump cadaver.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Okay, let's go Copse.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
Now listen, Aarchie. I've heard enough. Besides, I've really got
to run along now.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Only wait a minute. I'll go, but give the dame
a chance. You can't judge your book just by reading it.
Wait till you hear our next speciality. Go ahead, monsieur,
thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:08):
I would like to present now a few impersonation.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
You love this, Milton. This is where she rises to
her depths of greatness.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
A thank you for my first impersonation. I give you
the great French actor, my old so dear friend, Charlie boy.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Whatever happened to Ben Turpin?
Speaker 7 (19:33):
In this impersonation, Charlie is talking to Hetty Lamar and Algiers.
You are beautiful, Heady. I love you, Heady.
Speaker 12 (19:48):
We will I love Heeddy at midnight, Heady, be ready,
Heeddy A.
Speaker 6 (20:04):
I should have stood in Betty's worse.
Speaker 8 (20:09):
Fine.
Speaker 6 (20:10):
Who is this character here? I am another one of
monsieur duffy slove. This name must have an ex card
on love Air's fintur feefee. Do you remember me, Monsieur
Finney Legain the Jerry I have for you. A geeth.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Means that mountain, a diamond and emerald studded, whistling tea kettle, happy.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Cattle, Take you away, Finn again, I do not like
me to.
Speaker 6 (20:48):
Marry me, and I fill it with coffee.
Speaker 8 (20:53):
Marry you?
Speaker 6 (20:53):
Never never did I do myself?
Speaker 7 (21:01):
Another day? Another suicide?
Speaker 6 (21:05):
Listen?
Speaker 4 (21:06):
What's paw for this course, Milton? This goes on all
the time. Guys kill themselves like that. This name's a
second bluebid?
Speaker 6 (21:17):
What was that? What happened?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Another guy outside? He didn't even bother to come in?
I know where was willyam?
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Yeah? He dong, he dong. Now it goes from murder
to massacre.
Speaker 7 (21:36):
The of his dong is valima.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
Do that will build you up from obscurity to oblivion?
Speaker 9 (21:48):
Ah, the.
Speaker 7 (21:54):
Way I had.
Speaker 8 (22:05):
Week.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
You haven't hear anything like it, Melton. Uh not since
my sister backed into a hot stove.
Speaker 7 (22:20):
W and it's Bundy.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
What to me? Great?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Ain't it?
Speaker 6 (22:31):
Yeah? It sounds like an all clear signal?
Speaker 3 (22:55):
There you are, Melton. What is your verdict?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
My verdict? She's guilty.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
M should never have made dumb resolutions. Excuse me, that's duffy. Milton,
just heard you sing ya. Yes, there's only one way
for you to get into the follies.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
Ow ow.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
You gotta play up to the guy, give him a kiss.
Speaker 13 (23:25):
Oh, mister Boylst of Beauty points the lnsome in France,
me at the old flower, saying, faces like yours are
fashioned by the angels.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Faces, but not the nose. The nose was made to order.
Speaker 7 (23:50):
Ah, Milstone, do not joke with me. I love you,
I will love you always, never when I leave your side,
never will I stop you.
Speaker 11 (24:00):
Never, Holy cat, hold home another day another of suicide.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Now, before we leave Duffy's Tavern, leave us put a
couple of nickels in Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's jukebox where the
feet meet, the beat, the flatter spinning the needles in
the grove, and here's the first number coming up.
Speaker 14 (25:26):
As in the stadn't happen fast.
Speaker 8 (26:19):
At back of a po over a.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Duffy's Tavern was rebroadcast especially for you men and women
in the Armed Forces of the United Nations by the
Special Service Division of the War Department of the United
States of America.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Milton Burle, also known as Mister Television and Uncle Milty,
was born Mendel Berlinger or Berlinger, not sure how to
pronounce that. In nineteen oh eight. He was a star
from a child. His career lasted over eighty years. He
(30:51):
started out as a child actor on stage and in
silent films. Then he moved into radio. As you heard today,
he was the star of the nineteen forty three Zigfeld Follies.
They always had some kind of a comedian in MC,
somebody to break up the monotony of all the beautiful women.
(31:14):
I don't know why they needed that, as he was
joking about today, but anyways, so that's what he was
doing in forty three, and that was the big thing
and why they had him guest star on Duffy's Tavern.
But he was in radio and then in nineteen forty nine,
and this is why he's known as mister t television.
(31:36):
Nineteen forty nine, he was one of the first big
stars on television. He moved to TV before anybody else did.
And he was the star of NBC's Texico Star Theater
from nineteen forty eight to nineteen fifty three. And those
were the golden days for Milton Burrele and for the
(31:59):
golden age of television. His career declined after that, but
he kept acting, oh my goodness, into his eighties. He
passed away in two thousand and two at the age
of ninety three. Please send your questions and comments to
host at classiccomedyotr dot com until next time. In the
(32:20):
words of Theodore Roosevelt, the credit belongs to the man
who was actually in the arena.
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklbarger. When Milton Burle visits the tavern, Archie
tries to get Milton to give Duffy's daughter, Miss Duffy,
a part in the Zigfeld Follies. This is episode number
seventy two of Duffy's Tavern, entitled Guest Milton Burle, and
it originally aired on January five, nineteen forty three.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
A special Service Division and VAT show soldiers, sailors and
marines of the United Nations to drop in at Duffy's tavern.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Hello, Duffy's where you late me to eat? Oughn't you
to manage speaking? Duffy ain't here?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Hello Duffy, Uh, Duffy. You know who's coming down here tonight?
Milton Boyle. Yeah, the start of the new zig Field Follies.
What has he got nice legs? Duffy Duffy. Please, you'll
remember Milton, the kid that used to steal the joke books. Yeah,
(01:27):
thedn't say that he made up the jokes himself. Yeah,
that's the guy. Yeah, Milton Duffy with you. Everybody's a bomb.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Well, Duffy, why don't you be more like me. You
know the new Year's resolution I made what stop stealing
from the cash register?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Oh, duffy.
Speaker 6 (01:53):
I resolved that I.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Will help my fellow man, be he mineral, vegetable, or
even you Duffy.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Good bye, say I.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
What's that sign you're writing, miss Kia welcome sign for
Milton Borough. No, it's a resolution, Eddie, one of them
New Year's sayings, you know, sort of a proverb.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Listen to it.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
There is a well known golden rule, true the ages
it's been true.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Always be good to your neighbors.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
He may live next door to you.
Speaker 6 (02:33):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Huh. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense too.
Speaker 7 (02:39):
How about hanging up a sign for the waiter me?
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Like?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Why Eddie?
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Well like this. The golden rule has a fine.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Intense, But a ten cent tip will pay the rent money, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Don't you know that there's some things in life that
money can't buy.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
You give me the money, I'll do the shopping.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Oh hello, Finnigan, Hey Finnigan. You know who's coming down
here tonight? Slton boil Is start a big field.
Speaker 6 (03:10):
Folly, Oh boy, the jig field folly.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
What's up, Finnegan?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
That's a show, you know, with a lot of beautiful
dames and chorus girls pressed up for nothing. But you
know what I mean, Finnegan, And.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
They call it the Follies. What foolish you bought that.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Uh, Finnegan. They don't call it the Filies because it's foolish.
They call it the follies because people lived at Zigfield,
you know, when he first put the thing on you. No,
like the first time they opened that fish market, they
called it Fulton's Folly, I.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Say, do not. Why don't they call it jig Field's
fish Market?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Well, Finnigan, it is a very strange quake of human
nature that when a guy pays four point forty for
a seat, he'd rather see a dame than a fish
God sir, Oh, my stuffy, how are you?
Speaker 8 (04:13):
My?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
You look charming tonight?
Speaker 7 (04:15):
I you don't, I stuffy.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
I didn't mean.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
It was just part of me resolution to be nice
to people.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
Oh, you don't have to apologize. I know I look
attractive tonight. A woman always knows when she's more attractive
than usual. Oh, fella's whistle at around the street.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
I see, well, I'll come. You're all joked down? Is
there something special?
Speaker 7 (04:40):
Oh certainly ain't Milton Beryl coming here tonight. Yeah, well,
ain't it possibly can get me in the folly?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
No it ain't.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Why not because the Follies just got all the stage
hands they need.
Speaker 7 (04:55):
I want to be a stage hand. I want to act,
I want to sing, I wanna dance. I want to
be what's.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Burl gonna do? So cold drinks and a lot of
you and a folly?
Speaker 7 (05:11):
Oh yeah, what's so funny about it? Wasn't I the
star of the ten Jolly Girls, Acy, military Review and
war bon pageant folly?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
That sounds like the greatest military reverse of the year.
Speaker 7 (05:26):
Oh yeah, well, it just so happens. I was the
head of the tenchent Why when I walked down the
stage and said I am mischief the boys need me. Yeah,
I was so good the audience stood up and shouted
send it to Africa. So now why couldn't Milton Grill?
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Worright, I'm gonna missed uppy. The Follies is different. It
ain't fris girl like you and the Fonnies. You kind
of walk up and down on the stage in a
fading suit. You know, a thousand guys is laring at you.
Make an unkempt remarks now giving you the once over,
(06:07):
making you feel uncomfortable?
Speaker 7 (06:10):
So what I do it all summer for nothing? To
Coney Island? I feel very comfortable.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Uh please, Ms Stuffie, don't ask me to ask Burl
about a thing like this.
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Isn't well, Akie?
Speaker 7 (06:23):
What about that resolution of yours? Help you fell a
human being?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
That's right, I'm helping Burl. He's a human being too,
I think, miss Stuffie.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
I've been thinking it over and I think I got
it the way I can get your job in the follies. Wow,
I will change you into a different woman. I'll turn
you from night in to day. I will be Frankenstein
and you will be my monster.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
What are you going to do to me?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
You, miss Duffie, are going to be a glamorous French singer.
I can't speak French, so what you can't sing?
Speaker 6 (07:03):
Needed?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I will make you a glamorous star with boyfriends by
the galore. We'll get Seymour infitting it to help us,
and you'll be Wait a minute, hey, Bud, why are
you snooping around for I'm Clark Dennis.
Speaker 9 (07:18):
I sing here, so what.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
So who's stopping you? Ladies and gentlemen. Clark Dennis a
terrific singer. Good enough for you, Bud, good enough?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Okay? You me am I stuffy? I want to talk
to you a minute. Here's when I want. As long
as you're not in love with somebody else, why don't
you fall in love with me?
Speaker 9 (07:53):
You're driving me crazy, baby cry? Will you tell me no?
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Or will you tell me yes?
Speaker 9 (08:01):
You gotta go over boar push some one Sunday, leave
it or not as bad to be.
Speaker 6 (08:10):
As long as you're.
Speaker 9 (08:11):
Not in love with anyone else?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Why don't you fall in love with me?
Speaker 9 (08:28):
You got me crazy baby trying to get Will you
tell me?
Speaker 8 (08:34):
Nor? Will you tell me that you gotta.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Go over boar push someone Sunday, leave it or not
as bad to be.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
As long as you're not in love with anyone else?
Why don't you fall in love with me? Baby? Why
don't you fall in love with me? Mount Dennis?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
If you were pretty or I might get you into
the folly Stone.
Speaker 7 (09:15):
And now suddenly arrival.
Speaker 10 (09:16):
I'm mister Milton Bart I'm New York, Hollywood, and Lord's sake, thank.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
You, thank you, my good man, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 11 (09:31):
Here here's something for your trouble.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
This is a nickel.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
I got more trouble than that.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Wait a minute, this is a lead nickel.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
How cheap of me? Here's a lead quarter.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Well, Meltain, Hawaii, looking as fine as a fat fat
look great?
Speaker 11 (09:54):
Oh well, it's very very easy these days oxy to
fool people a shave, a haircut, Say, Archie.
Speaker 6 (10:02):
You're you're looking pretty fit yourself.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Well, I'm laid a very healthy life. You're not playing
of exercise? Get me daily dozen every day, twelve games.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
At four.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Pool rooms.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
My good man, what do you do for fresh air?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I play with the wender of.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
Archie.
Speaker 11 (10:21):
Archie, that is not enough. You know that health is
the most important thing in life. Now look at me, strong, sturdy.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
Full of big ol. Yes, Sir Ralph in Hollywood.
Speaker 11 (10:32):
I go horseback riding, play golf every day, then to
the mountains skiing in a bathing suit, the icy wind
circulating through my blood.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
Melton, what are you confident that I came out without
my rubbers?
Speaker 11 (10:50):
But Archie, I've got great resistance and we'll go away in.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
About four months.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Oh that's still bad, Uh, Milton, I understand too bad. Well,
you know, Melton, it's a funny coincidence. I seen your
last picture and I don't know, Sammara. I suddenly gotta huntch.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Hit me back in the hunks.
Speaker 11 (11:12):
Son, My dear boy, do you know that the Schubert's
had a terrible time getting me to leave Hollywood?
Speaker 6 (11:21):
You didn't know that to do.
Speaker 11 (11:22):
They sent me telegram after telegram, wire after wire, and
I ignored them. Finally they sent me a paid wire
and I opened it. It said, Burl, come back to
the legitimate fitter, and I laughed. Then I said we
want you for our new musical, and I sneered. Then
I said we want you to star in the follies
with fifty beautiful girls.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
So here I am.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Fifty beautiful names.
Speaker 6 (11:45):
Yes, Uh? Why are they paying you?
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Melton?
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Who cares?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Same old Melton push over for feminine punker toad?
Speaker 8 (11:56):
Why do way? Melton?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I want to find aldgain a girl in the folly.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
I'll be glad to get you one. There's lots of them.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
No, Melton, this is a name I want you to
put into the fire. Oh, I see a beautiful French Danny.
You know the biggest star in Paris, the toast of
the Thames.
Speaker 6 (12:18):
Thames Archie if you're thinking of that river in Paris.
The word is Thames.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
That's the French pronunciation.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Anyways, Melton, When this dame sings them French love songs,
you know, like Mademoiselle from Moments, it brings lumps to
your eyes. But why should I stand here talking? I'll
have you meet it monsieur monsieur yay, mister Brown, I
(13:00):
want you to make that grammar's French monsieur FEEFI the feet.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Hinky tinkyo?
Speaker 7 (13:17):
You think blas do?
Speaker 6 (13:19):
I say? Wait a minute, Archie.
Speaker 11 (13:23):
I was down here two years ago and the girl
punching the cash register looked an awful lot like Fifi here.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yes, probably a case of francarnation. Peepie, haven't I seen
you before?
Speaker 7 (13:37):
What's a blaf?
Speaker 6 (13:40):
What did you do in Fall?
Speaker 7 (13:44):
I studied in school?
Speaker 6 (13:48):
What zinging school?
Speaker 7 (13:51):
The ten jolly girls?
Speaker 6 (13:54):
Essie ac.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, that's French.
Speaker 6 (14:00):
A kad to me?
Speaker 11 (14:08):
Noah, uh tell me tell me, my little moron, Blassie.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
What could you do in the zig ffolli.
Speaker 7 (14:19):
Using I dances?
Speaker 6 (14:25):
What no train zeal?
Speaker 8 (14:30):
Now?
Speaker 6 (14:30):
Milton?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Will you hear this name sing? You'll see why she
aroused the rage of Paris. Milton She's got millions of guys.
Casener oftener, a king's transom, juice.
Speaker 6 (14:52):
A diamond terrara, A what a terrara? What a that too?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Nothing is so good for this name. A meltin to
Pietie resists.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Uh. You are about to hear the greatest living French
entertainer of her nationality, dead or alive?
Speaker 6 (15:20):
Can I take my choice?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Milton listen to her first, Mister van Staden, drummroll, please
thank you, ladies and John Domes. We now introduced the
Darling of Mosemont, the wickedest woman in Paris. Monsur fiffee,
(15:45):
while Duffy proceed ahead. Pete tight one, Ah.
Speaker 7 (15:59):
And Daniel, and to you, dear mister Boyle, I crozy kids.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
Lucky for me, I can't catch.
Speaker 9 (16:11):
First.
Speaker 7 (16:11):
I relax for you. I think from one of my
biggest pumps, the mood to your odor.
Speaker 6 (16:20):
Door.
Speaker 7 (16:22):
When the scene opens, I marry bully Base. I'm talking
to my sweet ap Pierre, Ah, Pierre, Pierre. I love you.
I love you so much. I ate you, and other
times I urt you so much. I love you, I
(16:43):
love you, your fool, don't touch me, go away, I
adore you, come back. No I despise you, you fool.
I despise you and love you and despise you. He's me.
Speaker 11 (16:57):
It sounds like the foreign version of tobacco roll, Pierre,
Why do.
Speaker 7 (17:04):
You spell me? Why are you so cold? Kenned? Be
that somewhere you have another woman waiting for you?
Speaker 6 (17:12):
Well if he hasn't his nuts.
Speaker 7 (17:15):
Ah, Pierre, you have enough woman. But I will have
the revenge from this. You will not a scare from this.
Speaker 6 (17:24):
You will die from this. We can all die, you know. Now, Look, Archie,
I've heard enough. Will you tell her? What is this
a wonderful disease?
Speaker 7 (17:36):
Again?
Speaker 6 (17:37):
You remember me? Jack Timore?
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (17:42):
Wait?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
Who is this walking mattress here?
Speaker 4 (17:48):
He's just another one of faith his countless admirers.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Tell me you love me, Tell me that you will
become my wife, to live in my seventy eighth will
mentioned with fourteen.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
Albums, what clade and seventy eight room? You want me
to live in?
Speaker 10 (18:05):
A shack jack, shack Jack, I'll be back whack. Wait
a minute. If you do not love me, life has
no meaning for me. Well, Kipia, do I kiel myself.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
On another day? Another suicide?
Speaker 6 (18:37):
She's sadly a killer Anchie Meltain.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Yeah, Eddie removed that plump cadaver.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Okay, let's go Copse.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
Now listen, Aarchie. I've heard enough. Besides, I've really got
to run along now.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Only wait a minute. I'll go, but give the dame
a chance. You can't judge your book just by reading it.
Wait till you hear our next speciality. Go ahead, monsieur,
thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:08):
I would like to present now a few impersonation.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
You love this, Milton. This is where she rises to
her depths of greatness.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
A thank you for my first impersonation. I give you
the great French actor, my old so dear friend, Charlie boy.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Whatever happened to Ben Turpin?
Speaker 7 (19:33):
In this impersonation, Charlie is talking to Hetty Lamar and Algiers.
You are beautiful, Heady. I love you, Heady.
Speaker 12 (19:48):
We will I love Heeddy at midnight, Heady, be ready,
Heeddy A.
Speaker 6 (20:04):
I should have stood in Betty's worse.
Speaker 8 (20:09):
Fine.
Speaker 6 (20:10):
Who is this character here? I am another one of
monsieur duffy slove. This name must have an ex card
on love Air's fintur feefee. Do you remember me, Monsieur
Finney Legain the Jerry I have for you. A geeth.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Means that mountain, a diamond and emerald studded, whistling tea kettle, happy.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Cattle, Take you away, Finn again, I do not like
me to.
Speaker 6 (20:48):
Marry me, and I fill it with coffee.
Speaker 8 (20:53):
Marry you?
Speaker 6 (20:53):
Never never did I do myself?
Speaker 7 (21:01):
Another day? Another suicide?
Speaker 6 (21:05):
Listen?
Speaker 4 (21:06):
What's paw for this course, Milton? This goes on all
the time. Guys kill themselves like that. This name's a
second bluebid?
Speaker 6 (21:17):
What was that? What happened?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Another guy outside? He didn't even bother to come in?
I know where was willyam?
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Yeah? He dong, he dong. Now it goes from murder
to massacre.
Speaker 7 (21:36):
The of his dong is valima.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
Do that will build you up from obscurity to oblivion?
Speaker 9 (21:48):
Ah, the.
Speaker 7 (21:54):
Way I had.
Speaker 8 (22:05):
Week.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
You haven't hear anything like it, Melton. Uh not since
my sister backed into a hot stove.
Speaker 7 (22:20):
W and it's Bundy.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
What to me? Great?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Ain't it?
Speaker 6 (22:31):
Yeah? It sounds like an all clear signal?
Speaker 3 (22:55):
There you are, Melton. What is your verdict?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
My verdict? She's guilty.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
M should never have made dumb resolutions. Excuse me, that's duffy. Milton,
just heard you sing ya. Yes, there's only one way
for you to get into the follies.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
Ow ow.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
You gotta play up to the guy, give him a kiss.
Speaker 13 (23:25):
Oh, mister Boylst of Beauty points the lnsome in France,
me at the old flower, saying, faces like yours are
fashioned by the angels.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Faces, but not the nose. The nose was made to order.
Speaker 7 (23:50):
Ah, Milstone, do not joke with me. I love you,
I will love you always, never when I leave your side,
never will I stop you.
Speaker 11 (24:00):
Never, Holy cat, hold home another day another of suicide.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Now, before we leave Duffy's Tavern, leave us put a
couple of nickels in Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's jukebox where the
feet meet, the beat, the flatter spinning the needles in
the grove, and here's the first number coming up.
Speaker 14 (25:26):
As in the stadn't happen fast.
Speaker 8 (26:19):
At back of a po over a.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Duffy's Tavern was rebroadcast especially for you men and women
in the Armed Forces of the United Nations by the
Special Service Division of the War Department of the United
States of America.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Milton Burle, also known as Mister Television and Uncle Milty,
was born Mendel Berlinger or Berlinger, not sure how to
pronounce that. In nineteen oh eight. He was a star
from a child. His career lasted over eighty years. He
(30:51):
started out as a child actor on stage and in
silent films. Then he moved into radio. As you heard today,
he was the star of the nineteen forty three Zigfeld Follies.
They always had some kind of a comedian in MC,
somebody to break up the monotony of all the beautiful women.
(31:14):
I don't know why they needed that, as he was
joking about today, but anyways, so that's what he was
doing in forty three, and that was the big thing
and why they had him guest star on Duffy's Tavern.
But he was in radio and then in nineteen forty nine,
and this is why he's known as mister t television.
(31:36):
Nineteen forty nine, he was one of the first big
stars on television. He moved to TV before anybody else did.
And he was the star of NBC's Texico Star Theater
from nineteen forty eight to nineteen fifty three. And those
were the golden days for Milton Burrele and for the
(31:59):
golden age of television. His career declined after that, but
he kept acting, oh my goodness, into his eighties. He
passed away in two thousand and two at the age
of ninety three. Please send your questions and comments to
host at classiccomedyotr dot com until next time. In the
(32:20):
words of Theodore Roosevelt, the credit belongs to the man
who was actually in the arena.
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