October 11, 2025 • 30 mins
Father is coming down with something and simply wants to lie in bed and rest. We all know that is not going to happen!!!
Originally aired on December 14, 1950. This is episode 60 of Father Knows Best.
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Originally aired on December 14, 1950. This is episode 60 of Father Knows Best.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to Classic Comedy of All Time Radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklebarger. Father is coming down with something and
he simply wants to lie in bed and rest. We
all know that that is not going to happen. This
is episode number sixty a Father Knows Best entitled Father
Becomes Ill. It originally aired on December fourteenth, nineteen fifty Mother, is.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Naxwell House really the only coffee in the.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
World where your father says so and your father knows best?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I guess if father knows best?
Speaker 5 (00:58):
I've described in Hollywood, starring Robert Young's father. A half
hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you
by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House, the coffee that's always good.
To the last drop, beyond the last horizon's rim, beyond
(01:28):
adventure's farthest quest. Somewhere they rise, serene and dim, the happy,
happy hills of rest Well Rise.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
They may these RESTful hills, but there's one thing on
which you can depend.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
They have nothing to do with Springfield or the white
frame house on Maple Street.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
When it comes to rest.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
The Andersons live in a world apart, a world in
which sanity itself sometimes hangs by a slender thread like this.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Jim, gim mm, pushing Renner? Is the fourth and last time?
Speaker 6 (02:02):
Are you?
Speaker 7 (02:02):
Or are you not going to get out of bed?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I don't know what time is it?
Speaker 7 (02:06):
Nine o'clock? It certainly is.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
To tell you the truth, I don't feel so hot?
Speaker 7 (02:13):
Why, Jim?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
What is it? Why? Feel kind of achy all over?
Speaker 7 (02:19):
Darling? If you'd only said something, how.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Can I say anything? I was asleep?
Speaker 7 (02:25):
I oh, better call doctor Simmons.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Leave doctor Simmons a lower.
Speaker 7 (02:29):
But if you don't feel I don't need.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Him, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I'm coming down with a little coal, and I don't
need a doctor to tell me to stay in bed.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
And keep warm. Jim, I'll do it myself and send
him a bill.
Speaker 7 (02:41):
Jim, you're sure there's nothing really wrong with you?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Of course, I'm sure. Outside of feeling miserable, I feel fine.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Oh dear, Now what.
Speaker 7 (02:53):
The girls are coming over this afternoon to play bridge?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Honey? Just pretend I'm not even here and we'll all.
I'll be happy.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
Well, how about some breakfast?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
I couldn't eat a thing. I just want to lie
here and rest.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
But if you don't eat, rest all right, Jim, if
you're going to be stubborn, I'm.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Not being stubborn, but I'm the one who doesn't feel well.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I won't be out of this room for two minutes
before you'll think of something you want.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
I want to rest very well.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
I'll be downstairs if you need.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Yes, thank you very much. I want to rest, that's all.
I'm not asking any special favors.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I just want everybody to leave me alone. That's what
I want.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
Margaret, Margaret, Yes, Jim, is there any coffee?
Speaker 7 (03:47):
If there isn't, I can fix some.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
I'll be fine, honey. Just a little peace and quiet,
that's all I want. Take it easy over the weekend
and Monday, I'll be a new man.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
The way I feel now, I don't even care who
the new man is.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Right here on my desk. Well, the next word, ivey,
Well it would be.
Speaker 8 (04:12):
If you hadn't taken it.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I didn't either take it.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
You certainly did, but I certainly did it.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
But you want me, Dad, Yes, come in here, please,
and don't you tell him I.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Took it, Because I did it.
Speaker 9 (04:27):
I had a glass retort from my chemistry, said right
on my desk, And if you're going to let her
take anything she feels like taking.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I did not take it, Daddy. I didn't even see it, Kathy, And.
Speaker 10 (04:37):
He has no right to say I did Kathy either.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Kathy, Yes, Daddy. Why aren't you in school? It's Saturday.
I would have to pick saturday. Why don't you go
outside and play?
Speaker 7 (04:56):
It's raining.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
It isn't raining, it's snowing.
Speaker 8 (04:59):
It's Kathy, it's snowing.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But well it's rainy snow.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Look both of you. Oh no, it is impossible. Father.
Speaker 10 (05:10):
Look at this ad and the Harold formals for eleven
ninety five, Betty, and now we say we're over twenty dollars.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
It's the biggest bargain since we bought Alaska.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
We bought Alaska, not personally, Kathy, it's Betty.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
I'm in no condition to talk about dresses.
Speaker 10 (05:31):
But Father, I'm going to a New Year's party and
I don't have a thing to wear.
Speaker 8 (05:34):
But not a thing.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Well, you can go as the new year? Father. Ohy,
would she make a hit?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
But I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
It's just as well.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Now, look you, I'm trying to get a little rest,
So will.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
You please try to be quiet?
Speaker 7 (06:05):
Don't you feel well?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Father? I feel awful Hey, wait a minute, but father
just told you.
Speaker 9 (06:12):
You've got my measuring glass, beddi if that belongs to
But it was on my desk. And what why does
she got to go into my room and take stuff?
Speaker 4 (06:19):
You see?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
You said I took a night, did.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
It, Kathy?
Speaker 9 (06:22):
I paid for the chemistry, said, with my own money,
and she's got no right to touch it.
Speaker 10 (06:26):
Bud, How did I know it was yours? It's just
a silly old glass, Betty.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Well, if it's so silly, why don't you leave it alone?
Top it?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I didn't even touch it.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
I said, stop it, Betty, give buddy glass.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But I'm going to wash my hair.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Father, give it to it.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Jumping creepers.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Oh look, kids, when you don't feel well, your mother
and I show you every consideration.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
We make you comfortable, read to you, bring you your meals,
and we're happy to do it. I'm not asking for
anything like that that. All I want you to do
is leave me alone. That isn't too much, is it?
Speaker 7 (07:04):
Of course not? Father?
Speaker 9 (07:06):
Gosh, if anybody told us, we wouldn't have made a sound.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
I'm sure you wouldn't.
Speaker 7 (07:13):
Well, what's going on in here? A convention?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
The children were just leaving weren't you you bet?
Speaker 10 (07:20):
Dad, Come on, Kathy, come on where we're leaving?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
But I don't want to leave. I want to stay
here and ask Daddy, well.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Stop holing me.
Speaker 11 (07:30):
Why I always ask a holiday?
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Here's your coffee, dear?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Oh he go, Margaret? Are all children that noisy?
Speaker 7 (07:41):
Darling?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
There are only two kinds of children, noisy ones and
sick ones. Just be thankful that ours are healthy and
they don't have to be that healthy.
Speaker 7 (07:52):
I'll be downstairs if you want anything else.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
I was healthy when I was a kid, and I
didn't drive my father into a nervous breakdown.
Speaker 7 (07:59):
He said, if you were worse than any of ours,
is that so?
Speaker 5 (08:02):
I was one of the quietest kids in Springfield, everybody said,
I Margaret, a fine thing, starts an argument and then walks.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Away just like a woman.
Speaker 6 (08:15):
Dad.
Speaker 9 (08:16):
But I just finished telling you, Dad, if you'd like
to borrow my radio, I can hook it up in
here for you.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Thank you, Bud. But I'll do fine without a radio.
Speaker 9 (08:26):
I won't be using it on account I'm going down
to the playroom to invent something, no, Bud. But it
won't take me a second, Dad. All I have to
do is plug it in.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Just leave it, buddy. If I want it, I'll plug
it in myself.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
Okay, Dad, If you want anything else, just let me know.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
Thank you, bud, Thank you very much. It's just what
I need, a radio. I don't feel bad enough.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Whistle and chirp with Lizzie Glurt.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Are you resting, father, Yes, I'm resting like a yo
yo with Saint Vitus dance.
Speaker 7 (09:03):
We give you a pretty bad time, don't we.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
No, Betty, it's just that. What are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I brought the pillows in from my room.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
I don't want any more pillows. I don't like a
lot of pillows, Betty. Please, I was perfectly all right.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
There isn't that better?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
Yes, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Now just close your eyes and we'll go on a
long journey.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
What I'm going to read to you, Betty?
Speaker 8 (09:31):
I want you, father. It's the least I.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Can do, Betty. If you'll just yes, father, go ahead, yes. Father.
Speaker 12 (09:40):
We watched her breathing through the night, her breathing soft
and low, and then her breast. The wave of life
kept heaving to and fro our very hopes belied.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
Our fears, Our fears, our hopes be lied.
Speaker 12 (09:56):
We thought her dying when she slept, and sleeping when
she died.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Yes, father, what's the name of that lovely thing?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
The death bed by Thomas Hood?
Speaker 7 (10:19):
Isn't it beautiful?
Speaker 12 (10:20):
Can't you just see you're wasting away?
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Oh? How much did you say? Those dresses were eleven
ninety five? There's a twenty dollar bill in my wallet.
Go buy a dress. Oh, save your father, and don't
rush it.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
See if you can't take all day, Oh I.
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Will, Father, You're an angel and bring back the change.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yes father, look out, Kathy, Well.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Get out of my way. Deathbed a fine way to cheer, Amna. Oh, Daddy, trappy?
What on earth?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Fad?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
That's very nice, Kathy. But I told your mother carry
it up all time myself. But I don't want any Kathy, lookout.
Oh no, Daddy, Kathy.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
When they say breakfast in bed, they don't mean you
dump it.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I tripped on your slippers.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
You gotta say, man, Oh Kathy, stop that wailing and
get some of these dishes out of my lap, orange
juice and.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Cereal and coffee. Margaret. Oh, stop it, Kathy, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I've never seen it to say make plans for anything?
Speaker 6 (11:47):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Jim? Kathy dumped the whole breakfast in my lap.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
Oh dear, what was that?
Speaker 4 (11:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (11:58):
It was in the basement.
Speaker 13 (12:03):
It's okay, we'll open some of the windows.
Speaker 6 (12:18):
I oh dear, what is it?
Speaker 8 (12:30):
Bud says, it's all right.
Speaker 7 (12:31):
It was just an explosion. I know it's ringing. Next time,
anyone wants to spend the day in bed, I'm going
to leave town for a month.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Hole.
Speaker 7 (12:46):
I'm sorry, but Jim doesn't feel very well today. Well, yes,
I know, mister Gribble, but he can't possibly come to
the phone. He's resting.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
For father. What he wouldn't give for a little rest.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
Peace and quiet can mean so much to a man
now and then, just like.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Some things can mean a lot to you ladies.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
For instance, it'd mean a lot, wouldn't it to pour
a cup of your coffee for the world's greatest coffee
expert and hear him say best coffee I ever tasted. Yes,
that had really warm your heart, Because that number one
expert is your husband. Of course, your grocer calls us
experts too. Our Maxwell House coffee is America's favorite brand.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
But once you've brewed.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
The coffee, the expert with the final word is that
man of yours, and if you'll make his coffee Maxwell House,
We're mighty sure he'll say.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Best coffee I ever tasted.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
In fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back.
And here's why we know there's no coffee taste like
Maxwell House, because no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
In all this world.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
There's only one recipe for that famous good to the
last drop flavor, a recipe demanding certain fine coffees blended
just so. And that recipe is ours alone. So tomorrow,
get yourself a pound of Maxwell House. Serve your husband
a cup. If he doesn't say best coffee ever, why
(14:30):
just send us the can an unused portion, and we'll
gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right
on every familiar blue tin. Tomorrow, serve coffee that'll please
the world's greatest coffee expert. Serve your husband Maxwell House coffee,
always good to the last drop. Great changes have taken
(14:59):
place since last we I saw the Ambersons. Jim isn't
feeling any better, of course, and he's done mighty little resting,
but there have been changes, well, one change anyway. You see,
Now it's Saturday afternoon like this.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Kathy, Kathy, did you call me? Daddy? I speak to
you for a minute.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
Please.
Speaker 8 (15:29):
I have to practice.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
You can practice some other time.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Okay, hasn't been near the piano for three weeks now.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
She's got to do it all in one day. I'm coming.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Daddy doesn't know which end of a piano is up anyway.
I don't know why she keeps on taking lessons, except
maybe to get even with the teacher.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
That's my new piece, Daddy. Isn't it pretty?
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yes? It's beautiful? Uh? Kathy, Yes, Daddy. Why don't you
go somewhere.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I don't know any place to go.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Uh, find your brother and help him.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You send him downtown with Betty.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Oh? Well, why don't you go shopping with mommy?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
She isn't going shopping, She's going to play.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Rich in the living room. Why don't you go next
door to the Davises. You can play with Patty.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
We don't know what to play.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Well, play games must be dozens of games you can
play like what uh?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Actress?
Speaker 5 (16:32):
You and Patty can act out stories. I used to
do it all the time when I was a little boy.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
You played actress.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
I acted out stories like Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman,
Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates.
Speaker 14 (16:49):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes, Kathy, if you want to get rid of me,
why don't you say so?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
I want to get rid of you. I'll go over
to Patties, Thank you very much.
Speaker 10 (17:03):
Parents, if they want to get rid of you, why
don't they say so?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have gotten a puppy instead.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
Now, what happened to the darn thing?
Speaker 6 (17:19):
Margaret?
Speaker 7 (17:20):
What is it? Jim?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Where's that detective magazine? I was reading?
Speaker 7 (17:25):
Which detective magazine?
Speaker 4 (17:27):
So what Hector Smith wanted to borrow?
Speaker 7 (17:29):
You loaned it to Hector Smith?
Speaker 4 (17:32):
But I wasn't through with it, Margaret. I have to
answer the door, find a bunch of friends I have.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Don't even wait until you're finished with a magazine before Margaret.
Just a minute, Jim, Jim, oh no, she comes up here,
so help me.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I'll kill myself.
Speaker 8 (17:54):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Nothing? Not a thing of make believe you never even
heard of me, Jim, you pulled hold your ass. Kids.
Here we go again.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I hadn't the faintest idea you didn't feel well, But
not you certainly do.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
I certainly do what? What? What do? I certainly do you.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Look awful, and I think it's just a shame.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
Well, I haven't shaved today.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Ellen's get out of bed?
Speaker 5 (18:29):
What?
Speaker 6 (18:29):
Get out of bed?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Get out of bed? Am I gonna help you if
you just lie there? And don't think I can't too?
Did you ever meet George's at Mildred? But she was
at dance door, That's what she was at dance door,
and I pulled.
Speaker 7 (18:45):
Her through.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
The door, Helen.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
If you just go downstairs with the rest of the girl,
will you please?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Arguing with me, I'll go into the bathroom and stand
in the tub.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Stand in the tub?
Speaker 8 (19:05):
What for?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Man, they're all alike. George keeps saying the same thing,
what for?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
What for? And what do you tell him?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Well, it's perfectly simple. I have the most wonderful cold pills,
but you have to take them in warm water.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I've got to stand in the tub.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
You certainly don't want to get water all over the floor, do.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
You, Margaret? Helen? Up to down, Helen. Margaret was speaking
to you.
Speaker 7 (19:47):
She was Helen, Hello, Margaret.
Speaker 8 (19:50):
It's a nice seeing you do honey.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Why gee, not you, Helen? I was talking to Margaret.
Speaker 11 (19:57):
I should hope, so, Helen, Dorothy, industry you're waiting, and
if we're going to play what's.
Speaker 8 (20:02):
Going on up there?
Speaker 7 (20:03):
We'll be right down Dorothy.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I'm not gonna move Margaret, but not a foot, Helen.
This poor boy lying.
Speaker 12 (20:10):
Helpless and alone, Helen, looking to us for comfort and sympathy.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Helen, how can.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
We leave him friendless? And did you say something?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Jim? I just want to rest, Helen. So why don't
you and Margaret?
Speaker 8 (20:25):
You better come downstairs.
Speaker 14 (20:27):
I think Lucille's getting ready to blow a gasket por Jim.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Hello, Dorothy, Helen.
Speaker 8 (20:34):
Won't you please Jim? You got a cold?
Speaker 4 (20:37):
No?
Speaker 11 (20:38):
I feel fine as a matter of facts, any brave, Dorothy.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He wants to fight it all alone, like a mother
lion having her babies in the jungle.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
Where do you kiss a.
Speaker 8 (20:52):
Hot water bottle?
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Dorothy?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
If you'll just forget about me, I'm sure Jim will
be much happy.
Speaker 8 (20:57):
Turned over, Jim, we'll put it right in the middle
of his.
Speaker 14 (21:00):
Back, get it good and ham And then when he
can't stand the paint for another.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Say, if you'll just help me get him into the bathtub.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
If he wants me to stand up, Margaret, that's all.
Speaker 8 (21:13):
You wouldn't have any camper oil, would you. We could
rub that on his neck and then wrap.
Speaker 10 (21:18):
It with getting these same pills to George for years,
week after weekday after.
Speaker 7 (21:22):
Day, and je Dorothy, would you please go down and
tell Lucie.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
You We'll be right down.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
George had four colds in one weekend, but hadn't been
for these pills.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
I don't want any pills.
Speaker 8 (21:32):
Of course he doesn't turn over, Jim, and.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I don't want any camphor oil.
Speaker 8 (21:36):
Isn't he stubborn? Turn over? Jim?
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Margaret? Will you please ask them to leave me alone?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Hella, We're only trying to help you.
Speaker 8 (21:45):
Jim, get over on the other side of the bad Helen.
Speaker 11 (21:49):
We'll flip it, Doroth, please will who's winning?
Speaker 7 (22:02):
Lucille? I'm awfully sorry, Lou.
Speaker 8 (22:04):
You remember how sick mind jimmy way? Don't you leave
the poor man alone?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Oh, don't be ridiculous, not being ridiculous.
Speaker 7 (22:12):
Oh he needs is plenty of hot water and lemon
juan juice for a call, Margaret, girls.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
If you'll jog at this, Margaret, it says right here
on the Bottle Doctor show. Oh that's a wrong bar.
Speaker 14 (22:26):
Well, my mother raised six children, and she never gave
us anything but hot water and lemon juice. Well, it
just happens that I was the head of the Red
Cross bandy Trappers. And if you're going back to an
old fashioned thing like hot water and lemon juice.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Oh, fashion, Margarete.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
I've seen some of.
Speaker 14 (22:44):
The shirts you bought for Sam, And if that's your
idea of you fashion, I.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Have that bar right my purse.
Speaker 8 (22:49):
Well, I wouldn't exactly call your husband a fashion plate.
Speaker 11 (22:52):
If you're thrown away better clothes than your husband's wearing
right now, maybe he throws them, but he doesn't throw
them far.
Speaker 7 (23:00):
Girls, if we're going to play bridge.
Speaker 11 (23:03):
I wouldn't play bridge with her if my life depended
on it.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
You'd better not the way you play.
Speaker 14 (23:08):
Well, I'm sorry, Margaret, but I've just developed the worst head.
Speaker 8 (23:12):
Well, if you're leaving on my accouch, you're leaving.
Speaker 10 (23:15):
Girls, I'm sure we can straighten this whole thing out
if you only listen.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
To me for a minute.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Helen, Hello, Jim, Hello, Helen.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Isn't there someplace else you'd rather go?
Speaker 8 (23:35):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Did you have anything in mind?
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Well, wouldn't you like to go home or someplace.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Oh, good gracious, No, it's always so noisy over there,
and here it's so peaceful and quiet.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Call Helen, Helen, just a minute here.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I'm sorry, Jim, but I'll have to leave you. Margaret's
calling me.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
That's all right, Helen, and I understand.
Speaker 8 (24:16):
Take good care of your cold.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Deep I will goodbye, Helen.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
No, just said goodbye.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
I'm good to my children, I'm kind to animals. I
help more old ladies across the street than any ten
men in spring Kill. Not again, Kathy, do you want me, daddy?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Why aren't you at Patty Davis's.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
We were acting out the night before Christmas and she
got stuck in the chimney.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Kathy, stop it, Jim.
Speaker 7 (24:57):
I told her to practice. She hasn't practiced all week.
She's going to take a lesson on Monday.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
And listening to a piano isn't going to give.
Speaker 7 (25:05):
You a cold?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
Well? Tell her to keep her foot off the pedal. Okay, Daddy,
she doesn't care how it sounds. That's as long as
it's loud.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
It's the most heavily dress you've ever seen.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Fine, put the change on the dresser.
Speaker 10 (25:22):
It's blue, the dreamiest dreamiest blue.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
The change on the dress two dollars.
Speaker 10 (25:27):
Then he said you could take it out of his
allowance put the change. What well? They were having a
sale on chemistry. There is he in the playroom.
Speaker 14 (25:36):
But father, he said.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
No, not twice, not twice in one day, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Beyond the last horizon's rim, beyond adventure's farthest quest, Somewhere
they rise, serene and dim, the happy, happy hills of
rest each weekend. Is this your problem? On your grocer's shelves?
(26:38):
So many different kinds of coffee? And how are you
to choose the one brand that gives you the most
in flavor for your money. Now that's something the world's
greatest coffee expert can help you find. So check with
your husband. He's the expert. We mean, from your grocer's.
Bring home that famous blue tin with a big white cup,
and drop serve max sxwell House coffee to your husband.
(27:02):
When he smiles and says, best coffee I ever tasted,
you'll know Maxwellhouse has the most in flavor. You'll know
it's your best coffee. Buy Start enjoying Maxwell House coffee
tomorrow and count all the truly good cups of coffee.
You get from each pound. We think you'll be convinced
you get more for your money with Maxwellhouse coffee, always
(27:25):
good to the last drop. It's Monday now, and in
the Springfield office of the Cavalier Life and Casualty Company,
the manager, one James Anderson Senior, is diligently engaged with
a daily grime.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Luslie, what did I say, is Thomas?
Speaker 15 (27:46):
The enclosed form covers application for damages to glass in
general furnishings on premises of the insured. While the amount
may seem rather high, no, no.
Speaker 16 (27:55):
Uh across that last part of all right, the estimate
must be considered to be extremely conservative in view of
the fact that damage was caused by two separate and
distinct explosions.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Please let me uh blah blah blah. You're not how to.
Speaker 7 (28:13):
Finish, I think, So.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
What's next?
Speaker 7 (28:17):
There's a memo for mister Buckley.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
I don't know. I can't even think straight.
Speaker 7 (28:21):
Mister Anderson.
Speaker 15 (28:23):
Of course it's not in my business, but I don't
think you should have come in today.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
No, what you.
Speaker 15 (28:29):
Ought to do is go home and spend a nice
quiet day in bed.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
If you have trouble getting the youngsters to eat a
hot cereal these cold mornings.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Just tell him how hop.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Along Cassidy goes for Hot post tweetmeal. Hot post tweetmeal
has such a wonderful nut like flavor, and it's chuck
full of solid, whole wheat nourishment, the kind that Hoppy
goes for and your youngster's need. Hot post tweetmeal cooks
in just three and a half minutes, And be sure
to tell the kids it's Hoppy's favorite hot cereal. Hot
post Tweetmeal. You'll see, you'll agree it's the best.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Hot cereal you ever ate.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Join us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert young Is, Kim Anderson, with
Roy Bargeiye and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly,
Bill Forman. So until next Thursday, good night and good
luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand
of coffee. Always good till the last drop. Father Knows
(29:45):
Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James.
Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over
most of these stations.
Speaker 9 (30:07):
Exciting Dragnet is next three Times Mean Good Times on NBC.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Listend your questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr dot
com until next time. In the words of Bell Hooks,
knowing how to be solitary is central to the art
of loving.
Welcome to Classic Comedy of All Time Radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklebarger. Father is coming down with something and
he simply wants to lie in bed and rest. We
all know that that is not going to happen. This
is episode number sixty a Father Knows Best entitled Father
Becomes Ill. It originally aired on December fourteenth, nineteen fifty Mother, is.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Naxwell House really the only coffee in the.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
World where your father says so and your father knows best?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I guess if father knows best?
Speaker 5 (00:58):
I've described in Hollywood, starring Robert Young's father. A half
hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you
by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House, the coffee that's always good.
To the last drop, beyond the last horizon's rim, beyond
(01:28):
adventure's farthest quest. Somewhere they rise, serene and dim, the happy,
happy hills of rest Well Rise.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
They may these RESTful hills, but there's one thing on
which you can depend.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
They have nothing to do with Springfield or the white
frame house on Maple Street.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
When it comes to rest.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
The Andersons live in a world apart, a world in
which sanity itself sometimes hangs by a slender thread like this.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Jim, gim mm, pushing Renner? Is the fourth and last time?
Speaker 6 (02:02):
Are you?
Speaker 7 (02:02):
Or are you not going to get out of bed?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I don't know what time is it?
Speaker 7 (02:06):
Nine o'clock? It certainly is.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
To tell you the truth, I don't feel so hot?
Speaker 7 (02:13):
Why, Jim?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
What is it? Why? Feel kind of achy all over?
Speaker 7 (02:19):
Darling? If you'd only said something, how.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Can I say anything? I was asleep?
Speaker 7 (02:25):
I oh, better call doctor Simmons.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Leave doctor Simmons a lower.
Speaker 7 (02:29):
But if you don't feel I don't need.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Him, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I'm coming down with a little coal, and I don't
need a doctor to tell me to stay in bed.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
And keep warm. Jim, I'll do it myself and send
him a bill.
Speaker 7 (02:41):
Jim, you're sure there's nothing really wrong with you?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Of course, I'm sure. Outside of feeling miserable, I feel fine.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Oh dear, Now what.
Speaker 7 (02:53):
The girls are coming over this afternoon to play bridge?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Honey? Just pretend I'm not even here and we'll all.
I'll be happy.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
Well, how about some breakfast?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
I couldn't eat a thing. I just want to lie
here and rest.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
But if you don't eat, rest all right, Jim, if
you're going to be stubborn, I'm.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Not being stubborn, but I'm the one who doesn't feel well.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I won't be out of this room for two minutes
before you'll think of something you want.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
I want to rest very well.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
I'll be downstairs if you need.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Yes, thank you very much. I want to rest, that's all.
I'm not asking any special favors.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I just want everybody to leave me alone. That's what
I want.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
Margaret, Margaret, Yes, Jim, is there any coffee?
Speaker 7 (03:47):
If there isn't, I can fix some.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
I'll be fine, honey. Just a little peace and quiet,
that's all I want. Take it easy over the weekend
and Monday, I'll be a new man.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
The way I feel now, I don't even care who
the new man is.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Right here on my desk. Well, the next word, ivey,
Well it would be.
Speaker 8 (04:12):
If you hadn't taken it.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I didn't either take it.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
You certainly did, but I certainly did it.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
But you want me, Dad, Yes, come in here, please,
and don't you tell him I.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Took it, Because I did it.
Speaker 9 (04:27):
I had a glass retort from my chemistry, said right
on my desk, And if you're going to let her
take anything she feels like taking.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I did not take it, Daddy. I didn't even see it, Kathy, And.
Speaker 10 (04:37):
He has no right to say I did Kathy either.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Kathy, Yes, Daddy. Why aren't you in school? It's Saturday.
I would have to pick saturday. Why don't you go
outside and play?
Speaker 7 (04:56):
It's raining.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
It isn't raining, it's snowing.
Speaker 8 (04:59):
It's Kathy, it's snowing.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But well it's rainy snow.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Look both of you. Oh no, it is impossible. Father.
Speaker 10 (05:10):
Look at this ad and the Harold formals for eleven
ninety five, Betty, and now we say we're over twenty dollars.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
It's the biggest bargain since we bought Alaska.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
We bought Alaska, not personally, Kathy, it's Betty.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
I'm in no condition to talk about dresses.
Speaker 10 (05:31):
But Father, I'm going to a New Year's party and
I don't have a thing to wear.
Speaker 8 (05:34):
But not a thing.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Well, you can go as the new year? Father. Ohy,
would she make a hit?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
But I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
It's just as well.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Now, look you, I'm trying to get a little rest,
So will.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
You please try to be quiet?
Speaker 7 (06:05):
Don't you feel well?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Father? I feel awful Hey, wait a minute, but father
just told you.
Speaker 9 (06:12):
You've got my measuring glass, beddi if that belongs to
But it was on my desk. And what why does
she got to go into my room and take stuff?
Speaker 4 (06:19):
You see?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
You said I took a night, did.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
It, Kathy?
Speaker 9 (06:22):
I paid for the chemistry, said, with my own money,
and she's got no right to touch it.
Speaker 10 (06:26):
Bud, How did I know it was yours? It's just
a silly old glass, Betty.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Well, if it's so silly, why don't you leave it alone?
Top it?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I didn't even touch it.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
I said, stop it, Betty, give buddy glass.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But I'm going to wash my hair.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Father, give it to it.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Jumping creepers.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Oh look, kids, when you don't feel well, your mother
and I show you every consideration.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
We make you comfortable, read to you, bring you your meals,
and we're happy to do it. I'm not asking for
anything like that that. All I want you to do
is leave me alone. That isn't too much, is it?
Speaker 7 (07:04):
Of course not? Father?
Speaker 9 (07:06):
Gosh, if anybody told us, we wouldn't have made a sound.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
I'm sure you wouldn't.
Speaker 7 (07:13):
Well, what's going on in here? A convention?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
The children were just leaving weren't you you bet?
Speaker 10 (07:20):
Dad, Come on, Kathy, come on where we're leaving?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
But I don't want to leave. I want to stay
here and ask Daddy, well.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Stop holing me.
Speaker 11 (07:30):
Why I always ask a holiday?
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Here's your coffee, dear?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Oh he go, Margaret? Are all children that noisy?
Speaker 7 (07:41):
Darling?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
There are only two kinds of children, noisy ones and
sick ones. Just be thankful that ours are healthy and
they don't have to be that healthy.
Speaker 7 (07:52):
I'll be downstairs if you want anything else.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
I was healthy when I was a kid, and I
didn't drive my father into a nervous breakdown.
Speaker 7 (07:59):
He said, if you were worse than any of ours,
is that so?
Speaker 5 (08:02):
I was one of the quietest kids in Springfield, everybody said,
I Margaret, a fine thing, starts an argument and then walks.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Away just like a woman.
Speaker 6 (08:15):
Dad.
Speaker 9 (08:16):
But I just finished telling you, Dad, if you'd like
to borrow my radio, I can hook it up in
here for you.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Thank you, Bud. But I'll do fine without a radio.
Speaker 9 (08:26):
I won't be using it on account I'm going down
to the playroom to invent something, no, Bud. But it
won't take me a second, Dad. All I have to
do is plug it in.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Just leave it, buddy. If I want it, I'll plug
it in myself.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
Okay, Dad, If you want anything else, just let me know.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
Thank you, bud, Thank you very much. It's just what
I need, a radio. I don't feel bad enough.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Whistle and chirp with Lizzie Glurt.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Are you resting, father, Yes, I'm resting like a yo
yo with Saint Vitus dance.
Speaker 7 (09:03):
We give you a pretty bad time, don't we.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
No, Betty, it's just that. What are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I brought the pillows in from my room.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
I don't want any more pillows. I don't like a
lot of pillows, Betty. Please, I was perfectly all right.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
There isn't that better?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
Yes, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Now just close your eyes and we'll go on a
long journey.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
What I'm going to read to you, Betty?
Speaker 8 (09:31):
I want you, father. It's the least I.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Can do, Betty. If you'll just yes, father, go ahead, yes. Father.
Speaker 12 (09:40):
We watched her breathing through the night, her breathing soft
and low, and then her breast. The wave of life
kept heaving to and fro our very hopes belied.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
Our fears, Our fears, our hopes be lied.
Speaker 12 (09:56):
We thought her dying when she slept, and sleeping when
she died.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Yes, father, what's the name of that lovely thing?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
The death bed by Thomas Hood?
Speaker 7 (10:19):
Isn't it beautiful?
Speaker 12 (10:20):
Can't you just see you're wasting away?
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Oh? How much did you say? Those dresses were eleven
ninety five? There's a twenty dollar bill in my wallet.
Go buy a dress. Oh, save your father, and don't
rush it.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
See if you can't take all day, Oh I.
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Will, Father, You're an angel and bring back the change.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yes father, look out, Kathy, Well.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Get out of my way. Deathbed a fine way to cheer, Amna. Oh, Daddy, trappy?
What on earth?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Fad?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
That's very nice, Kathy. But I told your mother carry
it up all time myself. But I don't want any Kathy, lookout.
Oh no, Daddy, Kathy.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
When they say breakfast in bed, they don't mean you
dump it.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I tripped on your slippers.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
You gotta say, man, Oh Kathy, stop that wailing and
get some of these dishes out of my lap, orange
juice and.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Cereal and coffee. Margaret. Oh, stop it, Kathy, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I've never seen it to say make plans for anything?
Speaker 6 (11:47):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Jim? Kathy dumped the whole breakfast in my lap.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
Oh dear, what was that?
Speaker 4 (11:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (11:58):
It was in the basement.
Speaker 13 (12:03):
It's okay, we'll open some of the windows.
Speaker 6 (12:18):
I oh dear, what is it?
Speaker 8 (12:30):
Bud says, it's all right.
Speaker 7 (12:31):
It was just an explosion. I know it's ringing. Next time,
anyone wants to spend the day in bed, I'm going
to leave town for a month.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Hole.
Speaker 7 (12:46):
I'm sorry, but Jim doesn't feel very well today. Well, yes,
I know, mister Gribble, but he can't possibly come to
the phone. He's resting.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
For father. What he wouldn't give for a little rest.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
Peace and quiet can mean so much to a man
now and then, just like.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Some things can mean a lot to you ladies.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
For instance, it'd mean a lot, wouldn't it to pour
a cup of your coffee for the world's greatest coffee
expert and hear him say best coffee I ever tasted. Yes,
that had really warm your heart, Because that number one
expert is your husband. Of course, your grocer calls us
experts too. Our Maxwell House coffee is America's favorite brand.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
But once you've brewed.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
The coffee, the expert with the final word is that
man of yours, and if you'll make his coffee Maxwell House,
We're mighty sure he'll say.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Best coffee I ever tasted.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
In fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back.
And here's why we know there's no coffee taste like
Maxwell House, because no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
In all this world.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
There's only one recipe for that famous good to the
last drop flavor, a recipe demanding certain fine coffees blended
just so. And that recipe is ours alone. So tomorrow,
get yourself a pound of Maxwell House. Serve your husband
a cup. If he doesn't say best coffee ever, why
(14:30):
just send us the can an unused portion, and we'll
gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right
on every familiar blue tin. Tomorrow, serve coffee that'll please
the world's greatest coffee expert. Serve your husband Maxwell House coffee,
always good to the last drop. Great changes have taken
(14:59):
place since last we I saw the Ambersons. Jim isn't
feeling any better, of course, and he's done mighty little resting,
but there have been changes, well, one change anyway. You see,
Now it's Saturday afternoon like this.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Kathy, Kathy, did you call me? Daddy? I speak to
you for a minute.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
Please.
Speaker 8 (15:29):
I have to practice.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
You can practice some other time.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Okay, hasn't been near the piano for three weeks now.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
She's got to do it all in one day. I'm coming.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Daddy doesn't know which end of a piano is up anyway.
I don't know why she keeps on taking lessons, except
maybe to get even with the teacher.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
That's my new piece, Daddy. Isn't it pretty?
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yes? It's beautiful? Uh? Kathy, Yes, Daddy. Why don't you
go somewhere.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I don't know any place to go.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Uh, find your brother and help him.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You send him downtown with Betty.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Oh? Well, why don't you go shopping with mommy?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
She isn't going shopping, She's going to play.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Rich in the living room. Why don't you go next
door to the Davises. You can play with Patty.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
We don't know what to play.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Well, play games must be dozens of games you can
play like what uh?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Actress?
Speaker 5 (16:32):
You and Patty can act out stories. I used to
do it all the time when I was a little boy.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
You played actress.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
I acted out stories like Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman,
Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates.
Speaker 14 (16:49):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes, Kathy, if you want to get rid of me,
why don't you say so?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
I want to get rid of you. I'll go over
to Patties, Thank you very much.
Speaker 10 (17:03):
Parents, if they want to get rid of you, why
don't they say so?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have gotten a puppy instead.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
Now, what happened to the darn thing?
Speaker 6 (17:19):
Margaret?
Speaker 7 (17:20):
What is it? Jim?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Where's that detective magazine? I was reading?
Speaker 7 (17:25):
Which detective magazine?
Speaker 4 (17:27):
So what Hector Smith wanted to borrow?
Speaker 7 (17:29):
You loaned it to Hector Smith?
Speaker 4 (17:32):
But I wasn't through with it, Margaret. I have to
answer the door, find a bunch of friends I have.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Don't even wait until you're finished with a magazine before Margaret.
Just a minute, Jim, Jim, oh no, she comes up here,
so help me.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I'll kill myself.
Speaker 8 (17:54):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Nothing? Not a thing of make believe you never even
heard of me, Jim, you pulled hold your ass. Kids.
Here we go again.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I hadn't the faintest idea you didn't feel well, But
not you certainly do.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
I certainly do what? What? What do? I certainly do you.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Look awful, and I think it's just a shame.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
Well, I haven't shaved today.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Ellen's get out of bed?
Speaker 5 (18:29):
What?
Speaker 6 (18:29):
Get out of bed?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Get out of bed? Am I gonna help you if
you just lie there? And don't think I can't too?
Did you ever meet George's at Mildred? But she was
at dance door, That's what she was at dance door,
and I pulled.
Speaker 7 (18:45):
Her through.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
The door, Helen.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
If you just go downstairs with the rest of the girl,
will you please?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Arguing with me, I'll go into the bathroom and stand
in the tub.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Stand in the tub?
Speaker 8 (19:05):
What for?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Man, they're all alike. George keeps saying the same thing,
what for?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
What for? And what do you tell him?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Well, it's perfectly simple. I have the most wonderful cold pills,
but you have to take them in warm water.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I've got to stand in the tub.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
You certainly don't want to get water all over the floor, do.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
You, Margaret? Helen? Up to down, Helen. Margaret was speaking
to you.
Speaker 7 (19:47):
She was Helen, Hello, Margaret.
Speaker 8 (19:50):
It's a nice seeing you do honey.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Why gee, not you, Helen? I was talking to Margaret.
Speaker 11 (19:57):
I should hope, so, Helen, Dorothy, industry you're waiting, and
if we're going to play what's.
Speaker 8 (20:02):
Going on up there?
Speaker 7 (20:03):
We'll be right down Dorothy.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I'm not gonna move Margaret, but not a foot, Helen.
This poor boy lying.
Speaker 12 (20:10):
Helpless and alone, Helen, looking to us for comfort and sympathy.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Helen, how can.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
We leave him friendless? And did you say something?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Jim? I just want to rest, Helen. So why don't
you and Margaret?
Speaker 8 (20:25):
You better come downstairs.
Speaker 14 (20:27):
I think Lucille's getting ready to blow a gasket por Jim.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Hello, Dorothy, Helen.
Speaker 8 (20:34):
Won't you please Jim? You got a cold?
Speaker 4 (20:37):
No?
Speaker 11 (20:38):
I feel fine as a matter of facts, any brave, Dorothy.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He wants to fight it all alone, like a mother
lion having her babies in the jungle.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
Where do you kiss a.
Speaker 8 (20:52):
Hot water bottle?
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Dorothy?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
If you'll just forget about me, I'm sure Jim will
be much happy.
Speaker 8 (20:57):
Turned over, Jim, we'll put it right in the middle
of his.
Speaker 14 (21:00):
Back, get it good and ham And then when he
can't stand the paint for another.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Say, if you'll just help me get him into the bathtub.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
If he wants me to stand up, Margaret, that's all.
Speaker 8 (21:13):
You wouldn't have any camper oil, would you. We could
rub that on his neck and then wrap.
Speaker 10 (21:18):
It with getting these same pills to George for years,
week after weekday after.
Speaker 7 (21:22):
Day, and je Dorothy, would you please go down and
tell Lucie.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
You We'll be right down.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
George had four colds in one weekend, but hadn't been
for these pills.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
I don't want any pills.
Speaker 8 (21:32):
Of course he doesn't turn over, Jim, and.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I don't want any camphor oil.
Speaker 8 (21:36):
Isn't he stubborn? Turn over? Jim?
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Margaret? Will you please ask them to leave me alone?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Hella, We're only trying to help you.
Speaker 8 (21:45):
Jim, get over on the other side of the bad Helen.
Speaker 11 (21:49):
We'll flip it, Doroth, please will who's winning?
Speaker 7 (22:02):
Lucille? I'm awfully sorry, Lou.
Speaker 8 (22:04):
You remember how sick mind jimmy way? Don't you leave
the poor man alone?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Oh, don't be ridiculous, not being ridiculous.
Speaker 7 (22:12):
Oh he needs is plenty of hot water and lemon
juan juice for a call, Margaret, girls.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
If you'll jog at this, Margaret, it says right here
on the Bottle Doctor show. Oh that's a wrong bar.
Speaker 14 (22:26):
Well, my mother raised six children, and she never gave
us anything but hot water and lemon juice. Well, it
just happens that I was the head of the Red
Cross bandy Trappers. And if you're going back to an
old fashioned thing like hot water and lemon juice.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Oh, fashion, Margarete.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
I've seen some of.
Speaker 14 (22:44):
The shirts you bought for Sam, And if that's your
idea of you fashion, I.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Have that bar right my purse.
Speaker 8 (22:49):
Well, I wouldn't exactly call your husband a fashion plate.
Speaker 11 (22:52):
If you're thrown away better clothes than your husband's wearing
right now, maybe he throws them, but he doesn't throw
them far.
Speaker 7 (23:00):
Girls, if we're going to play bridge.
Speaker 11 (23:03):
I wouldn't play bridge with her if my life depended
on it.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
You'd better not the way you play.
Speaker 14 (23:08):
Well, I'm sorry, Margaret, but I've just developed the worst head.
Speaker 8 (23:12):
Well, if you're leaving on my accouch, you're leaving.
Speaker 10 (23:15):
Girls, I'm sure we can straighten this whole thing out
if you only listen.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
To me for a minute.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Helen, Hello, Jim, Hello, Helen.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Isn't there someplace else you'd rather go?
Speaker 8 (23:35):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Did you have anything in mind?
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Well, wouldn't you like to go home or someplace.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Oh, good gracious, No, it's always so noisy over there,
and here it's so peaceful and quiet.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Call Helen, Helen, just a minute here.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I'm sorry, Jim, but I'll have to leave you. Margaret's
calling me.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
That's all right, Helen, and I understand.
Speaker 8 (24:16):
Take good care of your cold.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Deep I will goodbye, Helen.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
No, just said goodbye.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
I'm good to my children, I'm kind to animals. I
help more old ladies across the street than any ten
men in spring Kill. Not again, Kathy, do you want me, daddy?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Why aren't you at Patty Davis's.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
We were acting out the night before Christmas and she
got stuck in the chimney.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Kathy, stop it, Jim.
Speaker 7 (24:57):
I told her to practice. She hasn't practiced all week.
She's going to take a lesson on Monday.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
And listening to a piano isn't going to give.
Speaker 7 (25:05):
You a cold?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
Well? Tell her to keep her foot off the pedal. Okay, Daddy,
she doesn't care how it sounds. That's as long as
it's loud.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
It's the most heavily dress you've ever seen.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Fine, put the change on the dresser.
Speaker 10 (25:22):
It's blue, the dreamiest dreamiest blue.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
The change on the dress two dollars.
Speaker 10 (25:27):
Then he said you could take it out of his
allowance put the change. What well? They were having a
sale on chemistry. There is he in the playroom.
Speaker 14 (25:36):
But father, he said.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
No, not twice, not twice in one day, Margaret.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Beyond the last horizon's rim, beyond adventure's farthest quest, Somewhere
they rise, serene and dim, the happy, happy hills of
rest each weekend. Is this your problem? On your grocer's shelves?
(26:38):
So many different kinds of coffee? And how are you
to choose the one brand that gives you the most
in flavor for your money. Now that's something the world's
greatest coffee expert can help you find. So check with
your husband. He's the expert. We mean, from your grocer's.
Bring home that famous blue tin with a big white cup,
and drop serve max sxwell House coffee to your husband.
(27:02):
When he smiles and says, best coffee I ever tasted,
you'll know Maxwellhouse has the most in flavor. You'll know
it's your best coffee. Buy Start enjoying Maxwell House coffee
tomorrow and count all the truly good cups of coffee.
You get from each pound. We think you'll be convinced
you get more for your money with Maxwellhouse coffee, always
(27:25):
good to the last drop. It's Monday now, and in
the Springfield office of the Cavalier Life and Casualty Company,
the manager, one James Anderson Senior, is diligently engaged with
a daily grime.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Luslie, what did I say, is Thomas?
Speaker 15 (27:46):
The enclosed form covers application for damages to glass in
general furnishings on premises of the insured. While the amount
may seem rather high, no, no.
Speaker 16 (27:55):
Uh across that last part of all right, the estimate
must be considered to be extremely conservative in view of
the fact that damage was caused by two separate and
distinct explosions.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Please let me uh blah blah blah. You're not how to.
Speaker 7 (28:13):
Finish, I think, So.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
What's next?
Speaker 7 (28:17):
There's a memo for mister Buckley.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
I don't know. I can't even think straight.
Speaker 7 (28:21):
Mister Anderson.
Speaker 15 (28:23):
Of course it's not in my business, but I don't
think you should have come in today.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
No, what you.
Speaker 15 (28:29):
Ought to do is go home and spend a nice
quiet day in bed.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
If you have trouble getting the youngsters to eat a
hot cereal these cold mornings.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Just tell him how hop.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Along Cassidy goes for Hot post tweetmeal. Hot post tweetmeal
has such a wonderful nut like flavor, and it's chuck
full of solid, whole wheat nourishment, the kind that Hoppy
goes for and your youngster's need. Hot post tweetmeal cooks
in just three and a half minutes, And be sure
to tell the kids it's Hoppy's favorite hot cereal. Hot
post Tweetmeal. You'll see, you'll agree it's the best.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Hot cereal you ever ate.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Join us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert young Is, Kim Anderson, with
Roy Bargeiye and the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly,
Bill Forman. So until next Thursday, good night and good
luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand
of coffee. Always good till the last drop. Father Knows
(29:45):
Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James.
Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over
most of these stations.
Speaker 9 (30:07):
Exciting Dragnet is next three Times Mean Good Times on NBC.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Listend your questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr dot
com until next time. In the words of Bell Hooks,
knowing how to be solitary is central to the art
of loving.
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