November 30, 2023 • 25 mins
Henry Aldrich thinks his sister, Mary, is getting married, so he rents out her room.
Originally aired on October 7, 1948. This is episode 432 of The Aldrich Family.
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Originally aired on October 7, 1948. This is episode 432 of The Aldrich Family.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old timeradio. I'm your host, Ron Eckleberger.
Once again, Henry Aldrich runs offwithout knowing the full truth and wreaks
havoc through the town. This episodeis entitled Henry Rents out Mary's Room.
It is the four hundred and thirtysecond episode of The Aldrich Family and it
(00:38):
originally aired on October seventh, nineteenforty eight. The Alrich Family based on
characters originated by Clifford Goldsmith and starringEzra Stone as Henry with Jackie Kelk as
Homer. Hen Henry, alright,coming, mother. When you take a
(01:22):
typical American family plus some friends andneighbors and then add one teenage boy,
well you needn't bother to start thingsup. The boy will always attend to
that. Henry Aldrich is no exceptionto the rule. The scene opens in
the Aldrich living room. It's earlymorning. Yeah, mother, Sam,
I'm not crying, of course,not out of course, not mother.
(01:46):
Here, take my hand, you, Alice, you knew Mary would be
doing a thing like this eventually,Yes, only said she's so young.
You and father wouldn't want me aroundthe house for the rest of your lives.
Would you. It's just a matterof getting used to the idea out
of it. You'll get over theno time, of course you will.
Mother it Harry Oldray old giz Henry, Harry Ldrich. How long have you
(02:07):
been there under that piano? Whynot long? Mary, dear, please
get off the floor with your cleansweater. Yes, mother, And what's
in that gunny sack beside you?Gunnishirt? Mother? That's no gunny,
sir, No, she is no? Then what is it? I'm missus
Aldridge, My goodness, Sara Tomaan understandable mistake on it, Henry.
(02:30):
Would you mind telling us what youand Homer were doing under that piano doing?
Father? If you please? Whyam? You might say? We're
looking for a golf ball, father, that accidentally rolled under there from the
hall a golf ball, Yes,sir, and I was helping him.
You don't say yes, sir?Yes, sir? Then may I ask
why you didn't let us know youwere there? Why am? We didn't
(02:52):
think it was polite to interrupt you, Henry Aldrich? I never thought you
stupids low as spye under piano onyour own sister spy. Mary, I
was fine, Yes, you werewell honest, Mary, we hardly heard
a word, did we, Homer? She no, hardly a word.
Well, then suppose you eat totake an apple and go outside and outside,
(03:14):
yes, before we find out whyMary's leaving home. Oh, mister
Olich, I'm not nosy. I'mjust naturally curious. When the time comes
for your boys to know, youwill be told. Yes, father,
come on, Homer, Mother,would you please give me your boy,
Henry. Why do you suppose they'rethrowing Mary out of the house, Homer,
(03:35):
They're not. No, she's throwingthem out. No, she's just
leaving peacefully. Don't you get it? Mary's finally getting married? Mary sure?
Mary sure? To a fellow,Homer, It's just that I've always
looked at her as just a memberof your family, not someone in person
(03:57):
would marry. Why not? Thisis when you forget your prejudice. Mary's
really a darn good looking girl.She is, sure, Henry. Who
do you think she's doing it to? Doing? What too? Getting married
too? Gee, Kermit Hannigan,I guess the Kermit Hannigan who's a reporter
on the time. Well, whoelse could it think? Oh, boy,
(04:18):
Henry, you'll be able to getyour name in the paper anytime you
want to. Not exactly, HomerKermit sort of specializes in obituaries. Larry,
I must start my housework. Whowould you say you'll let me first?
Sam? I told you, Henry. Why aren't you outside? Why
we're just about to go mother?Come on, Homer, Okay, and
(04:40):
good luck Mary, Homer. We'renot supposed to know you, see mother,
even Homer approves, Dear Homer isnot your mother. Why not say
you yes and get it over with? Well, Mary, will you ask
Alivant to let you come home tolunch every day? All the way home?
Well, Mary, I'm sure youcan spare you for that long.
Well, I'll ask him and tellhim I insist that you take a nap
(05:01):
in the afternoon. Alice say,she's always been a little week since she
had her tonsils out. That waswhen she was twelve, I know,
but she'd never completely recovered. Mother. Now, Alice, I was fourteen
when I got my first job,and it did me a world of good.
Yes, Sam, but your tonsilswere like iron, Alice, Why
get so upset over a little thinglike Mary getting at your Sam? Old
(05:24):
bridget your only daughter. We're goingto work in a hardwaret or filled with
saws and chisels. You'd be upsettoo, Harry your SODA's boys, Thanks
mister de Haven. Now I lettbe missus Kilmer. She was imagine poor
(05:46):
little Mary getting married, Ohmer,what's so terrible about that? She was,
all people have to get married sometimes, show me one person who isn't.
You're in Harriet, She's a rarecase. Besides, she's gonna marry
Alvin Springer someday, the one whoon Springer is hardware. Yeah, when
(06:08):
someday. She'd better hurry if she'sgoing to Homer. She's not that old.
She's just around forty, sure,but where around forty? Just around
it, Homer. She's been thatway for as long as I can remember.
Well, forty's a good place toget stuck. I guess, Gee,
(06:30):
you know it's gonna feel funny withMary out of the house, Sonny
how I don't know, oh,miss her. Gee, there's one swell
kid, Mary. When I thinkof all the swell arguments we've had together,
Gee, there's one swell kid.And you'll get over it, sure,
But it's the same. Every timeI pass her empty room, I'll
(06:53):
get a pain right here Henry,did I hear you say you had an
empty room? What's that, misterDave. If it's for rent, my
nephew might go as high as sixdollars a week. Six dollars. Take
it, Henry, take it now? Wait a minute, Homer, mister
de Haven, we're not running theroom. It's just that my sister Mary
is getting married. We think youdon't see what's that? Missus Kilmery,
(07:16):
Yes, I'll be right with you. Well, if you decide to rent
that room, Henry, let meknow. See, Henry, six dollars?
Why did you turn them down?Whose? It's ridiculous, that's why.
What's ridiculous about it? You saidyourself, every time you pass her
room, you'll get a pain righthere? Sure? Only? What would
my father say, Henry? He'llprobably double your allowance if you bring in
(07:38):
six extra dollars a week. Idon't know, might even get more than
six dollars if you're throwing breakfast breakfast? Homer, my mother would never agree.
Why not? What's one more strangerat breakfast? But that takes all
the profit out of Henry? Howmuch can one egg and one orange and
one cup of coffee cost ten centsat the most twenty tops. Suppose he
(08:03):
wants two eggs? Who will putthat in the contract? One egg?
Or is rent those up? Asa matter of fact, if we're getting
eight for breakfast, think of allwe could get if we threw in dinner.
Now listen home, Henri. Ifyour mother doesn't object to breakfast,
why should she to dinner? ButDaisy, oh my goodness, who is
(08:33):
that on the phone? Mare?And Daisy Harper and mother? She's never
said anything so strange to me inmy life. Strange? Hell, I
no, sooner lifted the receiver whenshe said, why didn't I tell her
first? And then she burst outcrying why? Then she hung up?
Why do you suppose make her saythat? I can't imagine. I'm like,
I'm less what You don't think shewanted that job at Springer's too,
(08:56):
you think so? Oh my goodness, she certainly has her nerves, especially,
and she knows I'm taking the jobbecause of Kermit. Kermit. Yes,
he asked me what I did duringthe day a mother. I've never
been so tongue tied in my life. Hello, this is Sam. Do
you know any other or are thereorbites? Yess? No, Sam?
(09:20):
Why I just from another man thatwe have a room for re we what's
breakfast? My goodness? What didyou tell him? I should say,
so, my goodness, we justabout have enough room for ourselves. Can
(09:45):
you hear me from under the car? Chester? Yeah? Sure, hand
me that hammer. Gee, shure, I'll get a hen again, its
dear Chester wools. Oh boy,did that get you Chester? Not quite?
It was a good try it I'llwhat's the best offer you've gotten for
the room so far? Gfellow wentto eight dollars not more than ten minutes
ago, as high as half?Did we mention breakfast was included? Yeah,
(10:11):
and it's a nice room. I'llsay it has double exposures. Oh
yeah, the person who's moving outhad it for nearly nineteen years. You
don't say where is this room,Henry? Well, if I get permission
at our house yours? I didn'tknow you had an extra room. We
don't. But we're losing Mary,Mary, your sister. She's sick.
(10:31):
No, she's getting married. Ohyou don't say, who's a lucky guy.
Well, I'm not absolutely positive.And gee, I wouldn't want to
start any unfounded rumors. Oh naturally, Henry, I'll take the room you
will, Oh, boy, Henry, I tell you the truth. I'm
not very happy where I am.Well, i'll tell you I'll have to
(10:54):
get my mother and father's permission first. Well, that shouldn't be any trouble,
should I don't be Kimry, youwon't have any trouble at all?
Okay, nobody excuse me when Imake a phone call? Sure Chester,
old kid, Henry, why don'twe celebrate with a sol uh elm n
six L Henry? Were you callingI Chester? How are the acoustics in
(11:20):
married room? The acoustics, well, Mary never had any trouble with them.
Missus Smith, this is Chester.You know the fellow who has your
front room? Missus Smith? Areyou still against my practicing in my room?
I am well in that case,Missus Smith, that my interest you
to know that I'm taking my instrumentand moving. Well, I'm certainly glad
(11:43):
to hear that. I gotta leasttwenty people wait to stamp off that room
you to have? Then? CouldI have a tube of too? Please
write? You're thing? Mary?Here you are? I guess you're looking
(12:05):
forward to the big day. Mygoodness, how did you hear about that?
Oh? I heard congratulations, Thankyou, mister de Haven. It
must be pretty excited. I am. It's my first I assumed it was
he. Here's the money for thetuesday. Thank you. Who's the lucky
man? Haunt you nice? Iwouldn't call him lucky exactly. I'm very
(12:28):
inexperience. What is Alvin Springer?Who Apinger? The Alvin Springer? That's
who's Alvin Springer? Yes, I'mgonna run along. Now do you need
any hardware drop in? Yeah?Yes, thank you, I will.
(12:48):
Oh my goodness at you too.She is I'm Mary, I'm Mary,
Henry. I'm in a hurry.Goodbye Mary, goodbye Mary. And mean
now that I take a good lookat her, You're right, she's I'm
pretty. I know. See.The more I look at her, the
more I wish I had noticed herwhen she was available. You and Mary?
(13:09):
What's so crazy about that? Hell? Hello there boys, Hi,
mister de Haven. Two double skyscrapers, it's sir and uh mister de Haven.
In view of business conditions, Idon't think we can let your nephew
have it for six have what Mary'srealm Oh? Yes, well, Henry,
you could have bled me over witha feather when she told me who
she was married. She told yousure, And the last man in the
(13:33):
world I'd think of would be AlvinSpringer. Why why Alvin Springer, Old
Alvin Springer. Oh she was,mister de Haven. You must be mistaken.
She's not marrying mister Springer. She'sShe's marrying Kermit Hannigan. Henry.
She just told me herself. Who'sskyscrapers coming out? She is Henry,
(13:54):
mister Springer. Homer. Of courseit has its good side. You'll never
have to worry about nuts and boltsagain. Don't be ridiculous, mister Daven
must have misunderstood Mary. What Jeanewhiz mister Springer's promise to my aunt Harriet?
Why would he marry Mary? Henry? Tell me the truth. If
(14:15):
you had your choice between Mary andyour aunt Harriet, which would you take?
(14:37):
And now getting back to the troublesof Henry Oldwich, Henry and Homer
have unwittingly started a rumor that Maryis about to be married, but when
the story returns to the boys,they're dumbfounded to learn that old Alvin Springer
has entered the picture as Mary's prospectivebridegroom. The scene opens in Alvin's hardware
store. It is later that day. Hello there, miss Bringer, Well,
(15:01):
hello Mary, I stop by andtell you I can take the job.
That's fine, my goodness. Ihad a terrible time before they said
Yes, Why is everyone so againstwomen working? Speaking of that, Mary,
yes, mister Springer, I hopeyou won't think I'm crying. But
well, once you start working here, you'll stay, won't you, My
goodness, why I shouldn't I well, I've been hearing a rumor that,
you see, Mary, it takestime to train someone, and once I
(15:24):
do, I want to be sureyou're not planning I'm getting married, aren't
you, my goodness, No,good that is my goodness. Yes,
huh, I mean naturally. Ihope to marry someday. But the young
man I have in mind feels heshould work his way out of obituaries first,
and you know how long a thinglike that can take. Now,
don't get the idea I'm against marriageas a matter of Hey, can you
(15:48):
keep a secret? Oh yes,I proposed to your aunt Harriet last night.
You did well, My goodness,I'm so happy. I'm going to
get issue. Oh there, uncleout Mary, right in the front window
of the store. My goodness,why not, we're practically in the same
semin that you mentioned it. Mylife got to be going. Oh goodbye,
(16:12):
Mary, see you Monday morning,nine o'clock, nine o'clock sharp.
Wait a minute, shouldn't Ery,my goodness, why are you so flushed?
Mary? I didn't believe it whenI heard it, And boy,
if I hadn't seen it with myown eyes, i'd never believed believe what.
(16:33):
Naturally you're free to do whatever youplease, but you certainly ought to
think of your family. What areyou talking about? You know very well,
and I certainly don't blame mother fornot wanting to give her permission.
Henry, why should you obcheck tothat? And why not? Boy,
I'll be the laughing stock of Centervillejust because I Why, Henry, I
never imagined you were that old fashion. And this is a free country,
(16:56):
and I'll thank you. Remember thebill of right. Okay, Mary,
okay, but wait until father hearsabout this. Can I come back?
Can I interest you to know wealready had? Mary pays Homer. Mary,
I may have a way out outof what Mary. Mary. If
I would ask you to wait forme, would it sound ridiculous? Wait
(17:18):
for you? To watch Ge.It already sounds ridiculous. You may wait
for you to marry me. Areyou mad? No, of course I'm
not mad, Homer, you're not, Oh boy. Of course I'd have
to keep going to school until maybesomeday I graduate. But if you're helping
(17:40):
with my algebra, that shouldn't takemore than three or four years, Homer.
And naturally, you'd have to getmy parents consent to give me away.
Be too hard, Homer, Yes, Mary, dear Homer. Naturally,
I'm very flat if you're very sweetto ask me. But I'm afraid
it's out of the question. It'smoney you worried about. Mary. I
(18:00):
think I can get my father toraise my a lounge. I don't have
time to explain now, but I'mafraid I have someone else in love for
you. No, but Mary,don't you think I'm an improvement? Mary?
(18:22):
Now, Chester, control yourself,control myself, mister office, you
realize what your son's done to me. Missus Smith has already runned my room.
I appreciate that. Chester. I'vegot my bags on my instrument case
outside where I'm gonna put them instrumentcase. Mister Oldrych, I'm afraid I'm
going to have to insist that youfind me someplace to live her. Yes,
And until then, there's just onething I can do. Move in
here. Here at my office.I can sleep on the couches. We
(18:44):
move the water cooler in here.I can shave by the window. Oh
wait a minute, Henry, comein here. Boy, Father, do
you know what's happened. I knowwhat's going to happen. You're going to
march right out of here and notcome back until you found Chester a room.
Chester. Oh gee, I suregot me in a fine pickle,
Henry, I know, but itwasn't. Definitely, Henry. Let's not
waste time, Mark, But fatherhurt him? Henry, I'd make sure
(19:07):
the rose picking up for my clockand spiel. Whether I could die,
I could, just Mary, calmdown? How can I? You will
have to try. Your nervous systemwon't be in any condition for dinner.
(19:27):
But Father, don't you realize whatI heard on the bus? What I'm
getting married? Why isn't that wonderful? Dear? You mean just because you
overheard some idle conversation on a bus, you're jumping to a conclusion like that,
Mother, it was missus Kilmer andshe's never wrong. Yes, but
who is it? I don't know, missus Kilmer got off the bus before
(19:48):
I found out. Oh my goodness. Do you suppose those roses had anything
to do with it? What rosie? Well, they came to you a
little while ago. I don't know. There was no card with them.
But do you know what wanted theboss? I'll answered the door, Mother,
trying to control yourself. Dear yourhands coming down. I'm controlled,
Mother, I'm controlled. But themystery wait kermit, Hello, Mary,
(20:12):
Hello, come in? Thank you? Did my roses arrive yet? Oh?
Oh you're the one. Well,after I heard the news, I
thought there to show you how Ifeel. Mary, Oh my goodness.
But the reason I came over isdid you happen to find my umbrella among
the roses? It wasn't until Igot back to the office that I noticed
(20:34):
I had the car that went withthe flowers in my hand and my umbrella
was gone. Certainly keep my eyeout for it. Thank you. And
you didn't have to go to anythingas expensive as flowers. That's okay,
Mary, after all, a thinglike this only comes once in a lifetime.
And Mary, yes, we'll alwaysbe friends, won't we. I
(20:56):
certainly hope so, and I'm sureyou will be very happy Coat you will
be too. I'll try, butfrankly it may be a little hard.
Why kurmits Mary, I I guessthis is good bye? Good gry?
Aren't you coming over tonight? Well? Mary? After all, I mean
you think I should? My goodness? Why not? Well? I mean,
well, what will mister Springer say? Mister Springer, what does he
(21:18):
have to know? Mary? Justbecause I'm going to work in his hard
wurst work you're going to work afteryou're married? Well, of course,
Kermit, assed up to you me. I feel the husband should always decide
things like that. Mary, Mary, do you mind if I sit down
on this umbrella stand? I suddenlyfeel weak? Of course? Not Mary,
(21:38):
aren't you marrying Alvin Springer? What? Oh? That that's what I
heard? I mean someone told meHenry said. I think, well that
that isn't the most ridiculous thing Iever heard. You mean you're not?
Now, Kermit? Why should Imarry someone like Alvin? When I knew
you were just around the corners?I mean, Mary, Mary, what
(21:59):
kmit? I'm stuck in the umbrellastands? Mother? Can I have my
supper? Now, Henry Aldred,you come in here, Mary, I
haven't got time to Kermit. Whatare you doing here, Henry Olders?
What are you going around saying?Oh, I'm saying something, Mary,
Henry. Mary is marrying Alvin.She is, of course not. I'm
(22:21):
just working for him. Well,gee, ways, and you should know
better than to start rumors like that. Mary, are giving my word of
honor. I didn't start it.No, she whizz No, I heard
it from someone who who let methink? Man, who was it?
Who wasn't? Oh? She whizz? Yes? Father? Have you father?
(22:41):
Aren't you going to say hello toKermit? Oh? Yes, hello,
Kermit, Henry, I met misterOlivis. While I have you here,
While I have you here, sir, wait until after dinner, Kermit.
We never discuss things with father onan empty stomach. But that and
Father, if you're worried as towhy I'm home, all I'm going to
do is get a little nourishment.Then I'm going to put my nose right
(23:03):
back to the grindstone and find chestera room. You haven't found one yet,
father, Honest, I've looked everywhere. The only empty room I could
find was in the YWCA. Isee, and they won't let Chester above
the ground floor. There. What'sHomer doing here at a time like this?
It must be dinner time? AndI've got Chester a room? You
(23:29):
have? Oh, boy father,did you hear that she was? Homer?
Where did you find one over inmy house? Your house? I
didn't know you had an extra room, Homer. We haven't. I'm renting
in mine yours for fourteen dollars?So him, could you come outside and
help me with my trunk? Whatyour trunk? What's your trunk doing over
here? Well, Jean mistroll?Which I've got to have some place to
(23:52):
live. Now, Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Once and for
all, we are not renting anyrooms. And that's how old. Which
that's the beautiful part of it.I don't intend to pay a sin.
(24:22):
Listen again next week, same time, same station, or another sparkling half
hour with your favorite youngster, hisfamily and his pals. The Old Rich
Family, starring Ezra Stone, iswritten by Clifford Goldsmith. How many eggs
(24:49):
do you want with that room?Oh, that's that's something I've never I've
never had my rent based on howmany eggs I eat in the morning.
That's certainly something from nineteen forty eight. I would guess, but dang,
Henry, how hard is it toverify that your sister is not marrying some
old guy who runs the hardware store. Come on, guy, get your
(25:11):
hack together? Oh my goodness.Well, please send your questions and comments
to host at classiccomedyotr dot com.Until next time. In the words of
Sarah Bernhardt, life e gender's life, energy creates energy. It is by
spending oneself that one becomes rich.
Welcome to classic comedy of old timeradio. I'm your host, Ron Eckleberger.
Once again, Henry Aldrich runs offwithout knowing the full truth and wreaks
havoc through the town. This episodeis entitled Henry Rents out Mary's Room.
It is the four hundred and thirtysecond episode of The Aldrich Family and it
(00:38):
originally aired on October seventh, nineteenforty eight. The Alrich Family based on
characters originated by Clifford Goldsmith and starringEzra Stone as Henry with Jackie Kelk as
Homer. Hen Henry, alright,coming, mother. When you take a
(01:22):
typical American family plus some friends andneighbors and then add one teenage boy,
well you needn't bother to start thingsup. The boy will always attend to
that. Henry Aldrich is no exceptionto the rule. The scene opens in
the Aldrich living room. It's earlymorning. Yeah, mother, Sam,
I'm not crying, of course,not out of course, not mother.
(01:46):
Here, take my hand, you, Alice, you knew Mary would be
doing a thing like this eventually,Yes, only said she's so young.
You and father wouldn't want me aroundthe house for the rest of your lives.
Would you. It's just a matterof getting used to the idea out
of it. You'll get over theno time, of course you will.
Mother it Harry Oldray old giz Henry, Harry Ldrich. How long have you
(02:07):
been there under that piano? Whynot long? Mary, dear, please
get off the floor with your cleansweater. Yes, mother, And what's
in that gunny sack beside you?Gunnishirt? Mother? That's no gunny,
sir, No, she is no? Then what is it? I'm missus
Aldridge, My goodness, Sara Tomaan understandable mistake on it, Henry.
(02:30):
Would you mind telling us what youand Homer were doing under that piano doing?
Father? If you please? Whyam? You might say? We're
looking for a golf ball, father, that accidentally rolled under there from the
hall a golf ball, Yes,sir, and I was helping him.
You don't say yes, sir?Yes, sir? Then may I ask
why you didn't let us know youwere there? Why am? We didn't
(02:52):
think it was polite to interrupt you, Henry Aldrich? I never thought you
stupids low as spye under piano onyour own sister spy. Mary, I
was fine, Yes, you werewell honest, Mary, we hardly heard
a word, did we, Homer? She no, hardly a word.
Well, then suppose you eat totake an apple and go outside and outside,
(03:14):
yes, before we find out whyMary's leaving home. Oh, mister
Olich, I'm not nosy. I'mjust naturally curious. When the time comes
for your boys to know, youwill be told. Yes, father,
come on, Homer, Mother,would you please give me your boy,
Henry. Why do you suppose they'rethrowing Mary out of the house, Homer,
(03:35):
They're not. No, she's throwingthem out. No, she's just
leaving peacefully. Don't you get it? Mary's finally getting married? Mary sure?
Mary sure? To a fellow,Homer, It's just that I've always
looked at her as just a memberof your family, not someone in person
(03:57):
would marry. Why not? Thisis when you forget your prejudice. Mary's
really a darn good looking girl.She is, sure, Henry. Who
do you think she's doing it to? Doing? What too? Getting married
too? Gee, Kermit Hannigan,I guess the Kermit Hannigan who's a reporter
on the time. Well, whoelse could it think? Oh, boy,
(04:18):
Henry, you'll be able to getyour name in the paper anytime you
want to. Not exactly, HomerKermit sort of specializes in obituaries. Larry,
I must start my housework. Whowould you say you'll let me first?
Sam? I told you, Henry. Why aren't you outside? Why
we're just about to go mother?Come on, Homer, Okay, and
(04:40):
good luck Mary, Homer. We'renot supposed to know you, see mother,
even Homer approves, Dear Homer isnot your mother. Why not say
you yes and get it over with? Well, Mary, will you ask
Alivant to let you come home tolunch every day? All the way home?
Well, Mary, I'm sure youcan spare you for that long.
Well, I'll ask him and tellhim I insist that you take a nap
(05:01):
in the afternoon. Alice say,she's always been a little week since she
had her tonsils out. That waswhen she was twelve, I know,
but she'd never completely recovered. Mother. Now, Alice, I was fourteen
when I got my first job,and it did me a world of good.
Yes, Sam, but your tonsilswere like iron, Alice, Why
get so upset over a little thinglike Mary getting at your Sam? Old
(05:24):
bridget your only daughter. We're goingto work in a hardwaret or filled with
saws and chisels. You'd be upsettoo, Harry your SODA's boys, Thanks
mister de Haven. Now I lettbe missus Kilmer. She was imagine poor
(05:46):
little Mary getting married, Ohmer,what's so terrible about that? She was,
all people have to get married sometimes, show me one person who isn't.
You're in Harriet, She's a rarecase. Besides, she's gonna marry
Alvin Springer someday, the one whoon Springer is hardware. Yeah, when
(06:08):
someday. She'd better hurry if she'sgoing to Homer. She's not that old.
She's just around forty, sure,but where around forty? Just around
it, Homer. She's been thatway for as long as I can remember.
Well, forty's a good place toget stuck. I guess, Gee,
(06:30):
you know it's gonna feel funny withMary out of the house, Sonny
how I don't know, oh,miss her. Gee, there's one swell
kid, Mary. When I thinkof all the swell arguments we've had together,
Gee, there's one swell kid.And you'll get over it, sure,
But it's the same. Every timeI pass her empty room, I'll
(06:53):
get a pain right here Henry,did I hear you say you had an
empty room? What's that, misterDave. If it's for rent, my
nephew might go as high as sixdollars a week. Six dollars. Take
it, Henry, take it now? Wait a minute, Homer, mister
de Haven, we're not running theroom. It's just that my sister Mary
is getting married. We think youdon't see what's that? Missus Kilmery,
(07:16):
Yes, I'll be right with you. Well, if you decide to rent
that room, Henry, let meknow. See, Henry, six dollars?
Why did you turn them down?Whose? It's ridiculous, that's why.
What's ridiculous about it? You saidyourself, every time you pass her
room, you'll get a pain righthere? Sure? Only? What would
my father say, Henry? He'llprobably double your allowance if you bring in
(07:38):
six extra dollars a week. Idon't know, might even get more than
six dollars if you're throwing breakfast breakfast? Homer, my mother would never agree.
Why not? What's one more strangerat breakfast? But that takes all
the profit out of Henry? Howmuch can one egg and one orange and
one cup of coffee cost ten centsat the most twenty tops. Suppose he
(08:03):
wants two eggs? Who will putthat in the contract? One egg?
Or is rent those up? Asa matter of fact, if we're getting
eight for breakfast, think of allwe could get if we threw in dinner.
Now listen home, Henri. Ifyour mother doesn't object to breakfast,
why should she to dinner? ButDaisy, oh my goodness, who is
(08:33):
that on the phone? Mare?And Daisy Harper and mother? She's never
said anything so strange to me inmy life. Strange? Hell, I
no, sooner lifted the receiver whenshe said, why didn't I tell her
first? And then she burst outcrying why? Then she hung up?
Why do you suppose make her saythat? I can't imagine. I'm like,
I'm less what You don't think shewanted that job at Springer's too,
(08:56):
you think so? Oh my goodness, she certainly has her nerves, especially,
and she knows I'm taking the jobbecause of Kermit. Kermit. Yes,
he asked me what I did duringthe day a mother. I've never
been so tongue tied in my life. Hello, this is Sam. Do
you know any other or are thereorbites? Yess? No, Sam?
(09:20):
Why I just from another man thatwe have a room for re we what's
breakfast? My goodness? What didyou tell him? I should say,
so, my goodness, we justabout have enough room for ourselves. Can
(09:45):
you hear me from under the car? Chester? Yeah? Sure, hand
me that hammer. Gee, shure, I'll get a hen again, its
dear Chester wools. Oh boy,did that get you Chester? Not quite?
It was a good try it I'llwhat's the best offer you've gotten for
the room so far? Gfellow wentto eight dollars not more than ten minutes
ago, as high as half?Did we mention breakfast was included? Yeah,
(10:11):
and it's a nice room. I'llsay it has double exposures. Oh
yeah, the person who's moving outhad it for nearly nineteen years. You
don't say where is this room,Henry? Well, if I get permission
at our house yours? I didn'tknow you had an extra room. We
don't. But we're losing Mary,Mary, your sister. She's sick.
(10:31):
No, she's getting married. Ohyou don't say, who's a lucky guy.
Well, I'm not absolutely positive.And gee, I wouldn't want to
start any unfounded rumors. Oh naturally, Henry, I'll take the room you
will, Oh, boy, Henry, I tell you the truth. I'm
not very happy where I am.Well, i'll tell you I'll have to
(10:54):
get my mother and father's permission first. Well, that shouldn't be any trouble,
should I don't be Kimry, youwon't have any trouble at all?
Okay, nobody excuse me when Imake a phone call? Sure Chester,
old kid, Henry, why don'twe celebrate with a sol uh elm n
six L Henry? Were you callingI Chester? How are the acoustics in
(11:20):
married room? The acoustics, well, Mary never had any trouble with them.
Missus Smith, this is Chester.You know the fellow who has your
front room? Missus Smith? Areyou still against my practicing in my room?
I am well in that case,Missus Smith, that my interest you
to know that I'm taking my instrumentand moving. Well, I'm certainly glad
(11:43):
to hear that. I gotta leasttwenty people wait to stamp off that room
you to have? Then? CouldI have a tube of too? Please
write? You're thing? Mary?Here you are? I guess you're looking
(12:05):
forward to the big day. Mygoodness, how did you hear about that?
Oh? I heard congratulations, Thankyou, mister de Haven. It
must be pretty excited. I am. It's my first I assumed it was
he. Here's the money for thetuesday. Thank you. Who's the lucky
man? Haunt you nice? Iwouldn't call him lucky exactly. I'm very
(12:28):
inexperience. What is Alvin Springer?Who Apinger? The Alvin Springer? That's
who's Alvin Springer? Yes, I'mgonna run along. Now do you need
any hardware drop in? Yeah?Yes, thank you, I will.
(12:48):
Oh my goodness at you too.She is I'm Mary, I'm Mary,
Henry. I'm in a hurry.Goodbye Mary, goodbye Mary. And mean
now that I take a good lookat her, You're right, she's I'm
pretty. I know. See.The more I look at her, the
more I wish I had noticed herwhen she was available. You and Mary?
(13:09):
What's so crazy about that? Hell? Hello there boys, Hi,
mister de Haven. Two double skyscrapers, it's sir and uh mister de Haven.
In view of business conditions, Idon't think we can let your nephew
have it for six have what Mary'srealm Oh? Yes, well, Henry,
you could have bled me over witha feather when she told me who
she was married. She told yousure, And the last man in the
(13:33):
world I'd think of would be AlvinSpringer. Why why Alvin Springer, Old
Alvin Springer. Oh she was,mister de Haven. You must be mistaken.
She's not marrying mister Springer. She'sShe's marrying Kermit Hannigan. Henry.
She just told me herself. Who'sskyscrapers coming out? She is Henry,
(13:54):
mister Springer. Homer. Of courseit has its good side. You'll never
have to worry about nuts and boltsagain. Don't be ridiculous, mister Daven
must have misunderstood Mary. What Jeanewhiz mister Springer's promise to my aunt Harriet?
Why would he marry Mary? Henry? Tell me the truth. If
(14:15):
you had your choice between Mary andyour aunt Harriet, which would you take?
(14:37):
And now getting back to the troublesof Henry Oldwich, Henry and Homer
have unwittingly started a rumor that Maryis about to be married, but when
the story returns to the boys,they're dumbfounded to learn that old Alvin Springer
has entered the picture as Mary's prospectivebridegroom. The scene opens in Alvin's hardware
store. It is later that day. Hello there, miss Bringer, Well,
(15:01):
hello Mary, I stop by andtell you I can take the job.
That's fine, my goodness. Ihad a terrible time before they said
Yes, Why is everyone so againstwomen working? Speaking of that, Mary,
yes, mister Springer, I hopeyou won't think I'm crying. But
well, once you start working here, you'll stay, won't you, My
goodness, why I shouldn't I well, I've been hearing a rumor that,
you see, Mary, it takestime to train someone, and once I
(15:24):
do, I want to be sureyou're not planning I'm getting married, aren't
you, my goodness, No,good that is my goodness. Yes,
huh, I mean naturally. Ihope to marry someday. But the young
man I have in mind feels heshould work his way out of obituaries first,
and you know how long a thinglike that can take. Now,
don't get the idea I'm against marriageas a matter of Hey, can you
(15:48):
keep a secret? Oh yes,I proposed to your aunt Harriet last night.
You did well, My goodness,I'm so happy. I'm going to
get issue. Oh there, uncleout Mary, right in the front window
of the store. My goodness,why not, we're practically in the same
semin that you mentioned it. Mylife got to be going. Oh goodbye,
(16:12):
Mary, see you Monday morning,nine o'clock, nine o'clock sharp.
Wait a minute, shouldn't Ery,my goodness, why are you so flushed?
Mary? I didn't believe it whenI heard it, And boy,
if I hadn't seen it with myown eyes, i'd never believed believe what.
(16:33):
Naturally you're free to do whatever youplease, but you certainly ought to
think of your family. What areyou talking about? You know very well,
and I certainly don't blame mother fornot wanting to give her permission.
Henry, why should you obcheck tothat? And why not? Boy,
I'll be the laughing stock of Centervillejust because I Why, Henry, I
never imagined you were that old fashion. And this is a free country,
(16:56):
and I'll thank you. Remember thebill of right. Okay, Mary,
okay, but wait until father hearsabout this. Can I come back?
Can I interest you to know wealready had? Mary pays Homer. Mary,
I may have a way out outof what Mary. Mary. If
I would ask you to wait forme, would it sound ridiculous? Wait
(17:18):
for you? To watch Ge.It already sounds ridiculous. You may wait
for you to marry me. Areyou mad? No, of course I'm
not mad, Homer, you're not, Oh boy. Of course I'd have
to keep going to school until maybesomeday I graduate. But if you're helping
(17:40):
with my algebra, that shouldn't takemore than three or four years, Homer.
And naturally, you'd have to getmy parents consent to give me away.
Be too hard, Homer, Yes, Mary, dear Homer. Naturally,
I'm very flat if you're very sweetto ask me. But I'm afraid
it's out of the question. It'smoney you worried about. Mary. I
(18:00):
think I can get my father toraise my a lounge. I don't have
time to explain now, but I'mafraid I have someone else in love for
you. No, but Mary,don't you think I'm an improvement? Mary?
(18:22):
Now, Chester, control yourself,control myself, mister office, you
realize what your son's done to me. Missus Smith has already runned my room.
I appreciate that. Chester. I'vegot my bags on my instrument case
outside where I'm gonna put them instrumentcase. Mister Oldrych, I'm afraid I'm
going to have to insist that youfind me someplace to live her. Yes,
And until then, there's just onething I can do. Move in
here. Here at my office.I can sleep on the couches. We
(18:44):
move the water cooler in here.I can shave by the window. Oh
wait a minute, Henry, comein here. Boy, Father, do
you know what's happened. I knowwhat's going to happen. You're going to
march right out of here and notcome back until you found Chester a room.
Chester. Oh gee, I suregot me in a fine pickle,
Henry, I know, but itwasn't. Definitely, Henry. Let's not
waste time, Mark, But fatherhurt him? Henry, I'd make sure
(19:07):
the rose picking up for my clockand spiel. Whether I could die,
I could, just Mary, calmdown? How can I? You will
have to try. Your nervous systemwon't be in any condition for dinner.
(19:27):
But Father, don't you realize whatI heard on the bus? What I'm
getting married? Why isn't that wonderful? Dear? You mean just because you
overheard some idle conversation on a bus, you're jumping to a conclusion like that,
Mother, it was missus Kilmer andshe's never wrong. Yes, but
who is it? I don't know, missus Kilmer got off the bus before
(19:48):
I found out. Oh my goodness. Do you suppose those roses had anything
to do with it? What rosie? Well, they came to you a
little while ago. I don't know. There was no card with them.
But do you know what wanted theboss? I'll answered the door, Mother,
trying to control yourself. Dear yourhands coming down. I'm controlled,
Mother, I'm controlled. But themystery wait kermit, Hello, Mary,
(20:12):
Hello, come in? Thank you? Did my roses arrive yet? Oh?
Oh you're the one. Well,after I heard the news, I
thought there to show you how Ifeel. Mary, Oh my goodness.
But the reason I came over isdid you happen to find my umbrella among
the roses? It wasn't until Igot back to the office that I noticed
(20:34):
I had the car that went withthe flowers in my hand and my umbrella
was gone. Certainly keep my eyeout for it. Thank you. And
you didn't have to go to anythingas expensive as flowers. That's okay,
Mary, after all, a thinglike this only comes once in a lifetime.
And Mary, yes, we'll alwaysbe friends, won't we. I
(20:56):
certainly hope so, and I'm sureyou will be very happy Coat you will
be too. I'll try, butfrankly it may be a little hard.
Why kurmits Mary, I I guessthis is good bye? Good gry?
Aren't you coming over tonight? Well? Mary? After all, I mean
you think I should? My goodness? Why not? Well? I mean,
well, what will mister Springer say? Mister Springer, what does he
(21:18):
have to know? Mary? Justbecause I'm going to work in his hard
wurst work you're going to work afteryou're married? Well, of course,
Kermit, assed up to you me. I feel the husband should always decide
things like that. Mary, Mary, do you mind if I sit down
on this umbrella stand? I suddenlyfeel weak? Of course? Not Mary,
(21:38):
aren't you marrying Alvin Springer? What? Oh? That that's what I
heard? I mean someone told meHenry said. I think, well that
that isn't the most ridiculous thing Iever heard. You mean you're not?
Now, Kermit? Why should Imarry someone like Alvin? When I knew
you were just around the corners?I mean, Mary, Mary, what
(21:59):
kmit? I'm stuck in the umbrellastands? Mother? Can I have my
supper? Now, Henry Aldred,you come in here, Mary, I
haven't got time to Kermit. Whatare you doing here, Henry Olders?
What are you going around saying?Oh, I'm saying something, Mary,
Henry. Mary is marrying Alvin.She is, of course not. I'm
(22:21):
just working for him. Well,gee, ways, and you should know
better than to start rumors like that. Mary, are giving my word of
honor. I didn't start it.No, she whizz No, I heard
it from someone who who let methink? Man, who was it?
Who wasn't? Oh? She whizz? Yes? Father? Have you father?
(22:41):
Aren't you going to say hello toKermit? Oh? Yes, hello,
Kermit, Henry, I met misterOlivis. While I have you here,
While I have you here, sir, wait until after dinner, Kermit.
We never discuss things with father onan empty stomach. But that and
Father, if you're worried as towhy I'm home, all I'm going to
do is get a little nourishment.Then I'm going to put my nose right
(23:03):
back to the grindstone and find chestera room. You haven't found one yet,
father, Honest, I've looked everywhere. The only empty room I could
find was in the YWCA. Isee, and they won't let Chester above
the ground floor. There. What'sHomer doing here at a time like this?
It must be dinner time? AndI've got Chester a room? You
(23:29):
have? Oh, boy father,did you hear that she was? Homer?
Where did you find one over inmy house? Your house? I
didn't know you had an extra room, Homer. We haven't. I'm renting
in mine yours for fourteen dollars?So him, could you come outside and
help me with my trunk? Whatyour trunk? What's your trunk doing over
here? Well, Jean mistroll?Which I've got to have some place to
(23:52):
live. Now, Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Once and for
all, we are not renting anyrooms. And that's how old. Which
that's the beautiful part of it.I don't intend to pay a sin.
(24:22):
Listen again next week, same time, same station, or another sparkling half
hour with your favorite youngster, hisfamily and his pals. The Old Rich
Family, starring Ezra Stone, iswritten by Clifford Goldsmith. How many eggs
(24:49):
do you want with that room?Oh, that's that's something I've never I've
never had my rent based on howmany eggs I eat in the morning.
That's certainly something from nineteen forty eight. I would guess, but dang,
Henry, how hard is it toverify that your sister is not marrying some
old guy who runs the hardware store. Come on, guy, get your
(25:11):
hack together? Oh my goodness.Well, please send your questions and comments
to host at classiccomedyotr dot com.Until next time. In the words of
Sarah Bernhardt, life e gender's life, energy creates energy. It is by
spending oneself that one becomes rich.
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