Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your host,
Roniclberger Jelo Again. Jack Bennie is still angry with bandleader
Phil Harris because he was late to the broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Again.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
This looks like the beginning of a feud. The real
reason for this strife, however, might be because Phil is
more popular with the ladies than Jack is. M This
episode is entitled Buck Benny Rides Again, Part three. It
is the two hundred and thirty fourth Jack Benny Show
(00:48):
and it originally aired on November twenty nine, nineteen thirty six.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hey e.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Oh, The Jello Program starring Jacky with Mary Livingston and
Phil Harrison his orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with
Curly Top from the picture of the same name. First
(01:17):
impressions can be mighty important, of course, but as a rule,
last impressions are even more important, and the last impression
of a meal depends largely upon the dessert. That's why
it's such a good idea to serve jello and be
sure of a happy ending. Jello is lovely to look at,
for one thing, its bright, glowing color is wonderfully appeeling.
But that's only a first impression. Your final impression of
(01:39):
jello comes after you've tasted it, and from then on
you'll never forget It's rich, delicious flavor, the flavor of
frish ripe fruit skillfully blended. But remember Jello, and only
Jello brings you that extra rich fruit flavor. So whenever
you want a good looking, swell tasting, inexpensive dessert, get jello.
(02:00):
But the real thing insist on genuine Jello.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
And Now, ladies and.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Gentlemen, through the courtesy of NBC, we bring you our
master of ceremonies, through the courtesy of Paramount Jack Benny,
through the courtesy of Jellow.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Now jelal Again, this is Jack Benny coming to you,
to the courtesy of Don Wilson. Thank you, Don, Thank you,
Thank you Don. Thank you Jack. No, no, no, Don,
You're the one to be thanks.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
Oh no, Jack, you should be the recipients.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Well, isn't it a polite business vote? You know, Don,
we ought to always open our program with a sweet
and friendly spirit. It shows the brotherly feeling that we
exist in our little group.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
Yes, Jack, I agree with you, of.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Course, Don. There are times when the way you introduce
me it makes me feel like socking you right in
the nose.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
Oh it does ruh.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yes, to the courtesy of my right arm.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
You mean the one you play that lousy fiddle with.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yes, thank you, Don, Thank you Jack Well, aren't we
the refined Rodents?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Play?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Don?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I noticed the boys played their first number tonight without Phil.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Is he late again or yes? He called up a
little while ago and said that he might be delayed.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Oh he might. You know, he's getting pretty independent lately
since those movies starts have been calling him up. Carol,
Lombard and Ginger very good looking. You know. Well, I'm
always here on time, and I'm not exactly a Dracula. No,
not exactly. Thank you, Don, Thank you Jack Well. Anyway,
(04:09):
I've got to do something about Harris. He's got to
make up his mind whether he wants his girls or
his job. Hello Jack, Hello Mary? How'd you get here
so early.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Through the courtesy of a taxi cab?
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Say Mary, I haven't seen you since you were at
my house for Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Well, that reminds me, Jack. I want to thank you
for inviting me to dinner last Thursday.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
That's all right. Did you enjoy the dinner.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Mary, Well, everything was fine except the turkey Oh gee,
that was the toughest turkey I ever had.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It was Yeah.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
I bet they had to kill it with a machine gun.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
There was nothing wrong with that dinner. The turkey was
all right, and everybody had plenty to eat.
Speaker 6 (04:43):
I had plenty after the first mousel.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Oh, you wouldn't know good food anyway. You like the turkey,
didn't you? Done?
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Well?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I thank you?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Thank you?
Speaker 6 (04:54):
Jane, say Jack, we're's Phil?
Speaker 7 (04:57):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
He's home? What's this program in his life? And it's
my fall? Anyway? Why I forgot to specify in his
contract that he's supposed to be here? You know, since
the women have been calling him up, I can't do
a thing with him. I'll bet half the girls in
this audience tonight are fills hery Ah. You see why, Mary,
(05:23):
I'm surprised you're not applauding.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
I can't with a script in my hands.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Oh, say, don I just thought of a great idea.
You want to have some fun?
Speaker 7 (05:31):
Now?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
What's up? Listen?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
You know all the movie stars have been calling Phil up. Well,
I'm going to call him up and make believe it's
may West, you know, kid of the long?
Speaker 5 (05:39):
Do you think you can imitate maywellt?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Oh, sure, he'll never get wise. He's too conceited anyway.
Oh look, I'll call him up and tell him to
meet me on the corner of Sunset and Highland.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
Well that's great.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Imagine making a date with a girl she don't show up.
Oh boy, will that be embarrassing?
Speaker 6 (05:54):
You ought to know?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, we'll never mind that. Hand me the phone number.
Please give me Oxford seven O seven one.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
Positive nickel, please a good one.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh. If i'd known this was going to run into money,
i'd never started it. Now quiet, everybody, this is going
to be good.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
Hello.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Hello, listen, mister Herron, Why yes, sir? Hi a big boy?
How am I doing? Whore's this? This name? West? Come
up and see me sometime? Who don't you recognize the voice?
I must be losing my grip. Well, well this is
a surprise, m How would you like to meet me sometime?
(06:45):
We'll go out and peel a great? Gee, honey, that'd
be great. Are you doing anything tonight? No? Nothing special?
What's on your mom? How am I doing? Mary?
Speaker 6 (07:03):
But George alish? You're terrific?
Speaker 5 (07:07):
Is that so?
Speaker 8 (07:08):
Well?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Listen, philthy, how about meet me tonight at ten o'clock
in the corner of Sunset and the Highlands. Okay, I'll
be right there now.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Don't forget.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I won't slung Phil goodbye. Jack. Well, how do you
like that? Of all the double crossing?
Speaker 6 (07:36):
Well, why don't you ask me what I'm laughing at?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I'm afraid of the answer, playboy d that was Who's
(09:32):
that knocking at my heart? For my forthcoming paramount picture
College Holidays laid by Phil Harris's meal tickets with a
dashing maestro on his way to work? I hope say jang, Hello, Kenny,
I just bumped into Phil Harris in drug store. Oh
what did he say? He didn't say anything.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
I said, pardon me.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Well, that was quite an entry sting conversation. Did he
infer that there was a remote possibility of his appearing
in this vicinity in the near future? How you just
said that to mix me up? Yeah? Come in, pardon me.
Would you like to buy some Thanksgiving cards? Thanksgiving cards?
Speaker 5 (10:20):
Well?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Thanksgiving is over? Oh, then how about some hash No? No, no,
thank you, thank you miss west Wise. Guys. Oh, Jack,
I almost forgot.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
I want to thank you for inviting me to your
Thanksgiving dinner.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You're welcome, Kenny, how'd you like the turkey?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Swell?
Speaker 6 (10:41):
I got the wishbone?
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Oh, if you make a wish, yeah, I wish there
was some meat on it.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Say, Kenny, did you take.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Where do you keep your soda? Fountain? Fell in the
living room? Yes, you funny man? I had you pooled
on the telephone anyway, I called you by your name,
didn't I? Oh it was just a wild guess, but
no kidding. How did you know I wasn't May West? Well,
in the first place, it sounded like Jack Benny, I see.
And in the second place, May West was with me
at the time. Oh well, at first I thought my
(11:22):
imitation was bad. Anyway, now that you finally got here,
play Kenny song? Will you okay? That is, unless you've
got a date with Garbo? She'll wait?
Speaker 6 (11:35):
Sing Kenny, Say Jack, what why don't you just keep still?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It's a good idea, Mary.
Speaker 7 (11:51):
Sweet Muley. It is a petry on a man, very
no mans without a song. And for it's such a
(12:14):
little thing to dody will see to you.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
My whole life long.
Speaker 9 (12:34):
See falls and low song and team they seem so fu.
Speaker 7 (12:53):
For of thousand voice.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Oh how I love.
Speaker 9 (13:11):
You one heart to give you one boy? To leave simple.
Speaker 10 (13:37):
So holls and lost and I have seen.
Speaker 9 (13:52):
Verywe you. I'll sing you off, pall Lord.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
That was I'll sing you a thousand love songs from
Canaan Mabel, sung by Kenny Baker, accompanied by Hollywood's Heartthrob
and his orchestra. Mary. Look at Phil over there with
that wavy hair. I bet he puts curlers in it
at night. They fail. Where do you get your permanent
the same place you get your two pace? Well, well,
(14:58):
it was some snappy retort who told you to say that,
Carol Lombard. No, I thought of it myself. Oh you did?
Speaker 7 (15:04):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, you want to make something out of it? Well,
say Kenny, don't change the subject. I said, you want
to make something out of it?
Speaker 6 (15:14):
Yes, he does.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Quiet, stay out of this. I'll handle this. Say Kenny, come.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
In, that's your knees.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
But honestly, Kenny, as I started to tell you, your
boy sounded exceptionally good tonight. Really it moved me deeply.
Speaker 9 (15:44):
Yeah, you want to make something out of it?
Speaker 5 (15:48):
What I said? Do you want to make something out
of it? Yes?
Speaker 11 (15:52):
I do, anytime, at any place, right now.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
If you want to see Jack, I was only pooling. Oh,
backing down.
Speaker 11 (15:57):
Eh, well, just be careful. That's all, okay, and that
goes for nearly everybody in this company.
Speaker 6 (16:20):
Get me out a boy, Tiger.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
You said it. Well, anyway, now that we're all understand
each other, Tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, is our feature attraction
for this program. We are going to deviate from the
rather strenuous and noisy type of wild West drama which
we have been presenting lately. Tonight we will go from
the ridiculous to the sub lamet by offering a refined, quiet,
(16:45):
little English drawing room play entitled Lady Windemere's Fan Dance.
The locale is Worcestershire on the sauce the country seat
of Lore and Lady that's not my knees come in
(17:06):
professional delivery for Jack Benny, same voice as a card
sales here, boy, who's it from?
Speaker 6 (17:16):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I don't know. It's Postmark Baked Potato, Idaho. You read
it Mary while I look over the plate.
Speaker 6 (17:23):
Okay, it says mister Jack Benny, care of NBC Ranch, Hollywood, California.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Dear buck, Well, it must be from someone who heard
last week's programs.
Speaker 6 (17:32):
For two weeks now.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I just added me things from there.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
For two weeks now, you've been trying to do your
Western drama Buck Benny Rides again, but something always happened,
so please finish it tonight. As my husband is just
crazy about Western things. Right now he is sitting at
the radio eating a Western sandwich and spilling ketchup on
his west Billy, please grant my request and we'll be
(18:00):
listening in sign missus w W. Westover four four six
Western Avenue. What do you gonna do about it? Jack?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Well, Mary, we can't disappoint fans like mister and Missus Westover.
So tonight, folks, we will continue with Buck Benny Rides again,
and we will have to postpone our English drawing room dramma.
But all I say, old fellow, you can't do this
to me. Come back next week very well, cheerio these actors,
Well boys, let's get into a real Western move. Kenny
(18:29):
pass out the bandannas, shall I peel them? I beat Bandanna?
So now, ladies and gentlemen, Buck Benny will go on
immediately after the next number. Hey, Jack, what part am
I gonna play? Oh? You are Donna's You can play
(18:52):
the part of Mary's father, same as last week, that is,
if you're available. Of course, I don't want you to
work too hard, so I'll just give you a small part.
Always do well. You talk enough of the palamar in
your own programs. Oh boy, that was a humsy girl. Yeah,
shall I clean now? You might as well. You'll never
think of an answer to that one.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Quite a max which for me, will you?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
That was just a rhyme for love from college holidays,
made by and his orchestra and our folks. For the
third time, we begin our Western drama. Buck Benny rides
again or three weeks on a horse. I will play
(21:16):
the part of Sheriff Buck Benny. It's tough an ombree
has ever slept an umbee. That's a tooth fisted, quick
triggered marksman who shoots from the hip and never misses.
May I demonstrate? Hey boy, hold up that cornet? Ready?
(21:37):
Well I was close enough?
Speaker 6 (21:40):
Oh yeah, what can we come back in the room now?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yes, Kenny Baker will play the part of my horse
called Partner, Say something, Partner. The glocale of our little
play is Texas, the lone star state, and I want
to say right now that Texas is one of the
finest states in the Union, even if it did only
get one star. The opening scene is the ranch house
(22:06):
of Frank Carson in Sudden Death Valley Hurt Me you see.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
Come in? Hello, dazy, Hello, tall, darkened bull legging?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Oh girl, you wouldn't have any trouble straddling a barrow yourself.
Where's your pappy?
Speaker 6 (22:41):
Didn't you hear they carried him home last night?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Was he shot?
Speaker 6 (22:44):
Only fifty percent?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Tell me, Daisy, how long has your pappy been drunk?
Speaker 6 (22:49):
I don't know. I'm only twenty two.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
He must have been born with a silver phezz in
his mouth. Wake your pappy up, got to talk to him.
Speaker 6 (23:01):
He'll be up soon. He's got the cocktail shaker set
for nine o'clock.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Oh say, Daisy, before your pappy gets here, I want
to ask you something that's been on my mind for
a long time.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
What's that?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Will you marry me? Well?
Speaker 6 (23:15):
Thanks, Buck, I'd like to, but I can't leave my pappy.
He's taken care of me ever since I was a yearling.
I know that, so I can't never marry nobody while
Pappy's alive.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
That show breaks me up. Can't nothing be done about it?
Speaker 6 (23:28):
Well, Buck, you might leave your gun here and ask
me again tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
That's fine. We'll spend our honeymoon on our rope.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
Hey, d Daisy, here comes Pappy.
Speaker 8 (23:42):
Now Hello Frank, Hello, Buck?
Speaker 5 (23:55):
Are you hurt?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
That was you that fell down the steps? It out?
I listen, Frank, I hear them rustlers. Hear them rustlers
stole some of your cows again last night? How many
of you figure they got?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Well, look out of the window there and tell me
how many headed cattle you got left. Can't tell you, Buck,
they're facing the other way. Well, and let it go.
Have any idea who took him?
Speaker 5 (24:27):
Ad was cactus face Almer?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Cactus face Elmer. I'm going out and get him.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
A figure is in.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Town at Ike Mueller Saloon, and that's where I am aheading.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Are you sure he's that Ike Mueller's He ain't.
Speaker 6 (24:38):
There goes the plot.
Speaker 8 (24:42):
Hell.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I'm I going and I ain't coming back till I
get him. Be careful, Buck, he's a dangerous character. I
liked him that way. I'm going to shoot it out
with that farmer and I don't come back. You know
I've died with my food dog. Good I Frank, solong Dad,
I'm not hitting for Ike Muther saloon.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Benny rides.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Teddy Pardner.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, am I going to stand as
a can.
Speaker 5 (25:22):
Sing too?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
We now take you to Whitemuler's Saloon, where we find
Sheriff Buck Benny just arriving.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Oh I'm going inside, Pardner. Are you going with me?
Speaker 5 (25:37):
No? Buck, if you want me, I'll be over by
the water and tall.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Okay, what time is it?
Speaker 5 (25:43):
And I'm thirty?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Thanks time, supply I was an empty see you later. Hello,
sirf Curly, Howdy Buck? Hello, Kate Holly treating you? Hey?
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Well well, well, well if it ain't Buck Benny, why
Slim Wilson, you old horn toe?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Oh I got a new fangled mine now called jell
O yello. What's that?
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Why? It's en up and common young dessert.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
And I wouldn't be surprised that someday millions of people
will be easting it.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Well, shut my Texas crack. They slim coming over on
you that time, Claire clim Have you seen cactus face
Elmer around?
Speaker 8 (26:37):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Buck, there he is right back to you.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
God him sooner than I expeck you are you cactus
face Elma? That's me Buck Benny, and you're a top
omre might talk you, asking you see those notches on
my gun?
Speaker 8 (26:53):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Well, if you get fresh, I'll tell him to move over.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I mean I aim in the meet up with you, Cactus,
your honor for the stealing of Frank Cosson's cow. I
didn't take him.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
And would you like to buy some milk?
Speaker 6 (27:10):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
You admit it took him?
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Uh take it easy forks.
Speaker 8 (27:12):
See you want to make something out of it.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I listen near Texas. You're at those cows now, I
want to know where they are. You know this country
ain't healthy for cattle TeVeS.
Speaker 9 (27:22):
I never felt better in my life.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I went in, Cactus Pace. I came here to get you,
and I'm gonna bring you back dead or alive. Now,
which way do you want to go? I seen so
hong with me. Look it's okay, boys, I got him.
Come on, Cactus, give me your knife and gun. Here's
(27:45):
the gun? Where's the knife in your back? I thought
I fell a draft while.
Speaker 11 (27:54):
You've reached the end of your old Caxus Pace, come along, Petable.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
Look out.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Fuck, they're all the light.
Speaker 5 (28:00):
They're gonna tackles faint.
Speaker 9 (28:02):
Heck his faint right?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Ackay, I'll get.
Speaker 10 (28:08):
Ah.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
This will be continued next Sunday night. We'll buck get
tack this face. Will the lights be fixed? Will the
cows be contented?
Speaker 2 (28:15):
That's enough, don make them listen In Clay Hill.
Speaker 4 (28:25):
Everyone who enjoys good things are certain to enjoy it.
Yellow chocolate pudding a new product that hits a new
high and real old fashioned goodness. Jello chocolate pudding is
far smoother, creamier, more chocolatey, and what's more, it has
that grand homemade taste that's always so welcome everywhere. Jello
chocolate pudding is wonderfully easy and economical to make too.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Here's all you do.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
Just mix the contents of one package with some milk
in the top of your double boiler and let it
cook till smooth and luscious. It only takes about ten minutes.
Then you need only wait until the mixture is cooled
before serving it in sherbet glasses and bringing it to
your table. Delicious dessert trial. Jello chocolate pudding selves for
the same low price as jello, and one package will
(29:06):
give you six servings, and that's certainly a lot of
goodness for very little expense. So ask your grocer for
jell o chocolate pudding in the morning. If he hasn't
put it in stock yet, be sure he orders.
Speaker 5 (29:17):
It for you. Remember the name Jello Chocolate Pudding.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
This is the last number of the ninth program in
the New Jello series. And I reckon. We'll be with
you again next Sunday night at the same time. Come along, Dazi,
I'll take you home on my horse.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
Oh we both can't get on, Canny.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
That's right, Good night. The deer line.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
All the emil is from the Shawl. All please, The
Tello program starrying Jack Bennet has come to you from
the NBC studios in Hollywood. This is the Red network
of the National Broadcasting Company. Okay, Los Angeles earls the
Anthony in cooperated.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
How many head of cattle you got? Can't tell you, buck,
they're facing the other way. That's a great line. I
love that. And then cactus face for the for the villain.
I mean, can you just imagine cactus face. That's almost
like a batman villain or something. Please send your questions
and comments to host at classiccomedyotr dot com until next time.
(30:46):
In the words of Mark Twain, always do right. This
will gratify some people and astonish the rest