338. Cale Melton - Family Groups & Building a Foundation of Character and Trust - Coach 360

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Hey, everyone. My name is Colton, and I'm the host of the Coach 360 podcast. Here, our goal is to come alongside and equip coaches with the resources to help develop character through sports and raise up the next generation of leaders. Not only do we do that through this podcast and interviewing coaches from across the nation about character, culture, and leadership, but we also do it through our two words character development curriculums. If you want to learn more about these or anything else that we offer, visit our website, 2words.tv. That's the number two, words.tv. Or you can always drop me an email, colton at 2words.tv. Thanks for listening today. Let's get into the show. PMX Pro Maxima is your one-stop shop for the ultimate fitness equipment solution. Are you ready to take your workouts to the next level? With their state-of-the-art equipment, you can achieve your fitness goals faster and more effectively. From strength to cardio, they manufacture a wide range of high quality products made in the USA to maximize your performance. Experience the difference with PMX Pro Maxima and see why thousands of athletes and fitness enthusiasts trust them. Visit ProMaxima.com today to explore their catalog and elevate your fitness journey. Coach Mackey and I have personally gotten the opportunity to train with their equipment in our home gyms. Many of you know of our strongman and powerlifting backgrounds. From big bench presses and deadlifts, we have spent thousands of hours under a barbell and can personally tell you PMX Pro Maxima is one of the best manufacturers of strength equipment we have put our chalked up hands on. And they're made right here in the great state of Texas. PMX Pro Maxima. Find your strength from within. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Coach 360 Today, I have the great privilege of hanging out with Coach Kale Melton. He is the athletic coordinator and head football coach at Kingwood High School. Hey, Coach. Welcome to the podcast. Hello, how are you doing, Colton? Doing really good here in Kingwood. Awesome. Fantastic. Well, I'm out here north of San Antonio and I tell you what, we woke up to some beautiful weather. It is about time this year. Amen. I agree with that. Same here. It was fifty-four degrees this morning. So it felt, felt really good. Ooh, tough to beat. Tough to beat that. So I love it. Well, coach, I've got a, uh, a quote from you that I just wanted to kick us off with this interview. Uh, and then you shared with me that this is actually a big part, uh, or if not in its entirety of y'all's vision statement. And it goes something to the effect of this. It's about building champions in the classroom, in the community. In the, in the arena of athletics and in life, what is building championship in these areas look like for you and your programs? Well, you know, everybody always wants to talk about like being the head football coach and everything. It's, it's about sports, but it's not. It's, it's bigger. Um, it's about. But what we want people to understand, and that's why, you know, we put our business statement up. We want our kids to see it every single day, not just in football, but throughout the athletic. Uh, all of our athletes. Um, but, you know, to us, building champions is, in, in life means to, well, What we always say to them is this. We say that, you know, you represent first and foremost the person on your back, but what's across your chest. That's one. Second thing is, is like we want to see what you are ten fifteen twenty years down the road. So building a champion is not about We want to be able to, uh, uh, you know, morals, values, things into your life, but our, our vision for, for, Kingwood High School and athletics is is we want to see you be successful in the classroom, first and foremost. Second thing is in the community, how you serve it. And represent this community. And then the third thing is, you know, we want to see what you are in life. But then, and I'm not trying to downplay athletics, but Then, you know, how you, how you, how you are as a champion in, in athletics in the arena, uh, football, basketball, whatever it may be. Um, and so, you know, we want our kids to be prepared and not only for. You know, think about it. There's not many kids that, that go on and play, you know, college sports. Uh, they go on to be, they go into college and get an education and then go into the To the real world. And so we want them to be prepared for that more than anything else and then be good people and people that love others that care about others. And that's the biggest thing for us. Yeah. Coach, you took over in 2020, came from Highland Park and got to spend some great years there with Coach Randy Allen. When you took over in 2020, which I could only imagine was a really challenging year, COVID year, hitting the ground running, what was the main area of culture slash character development that you felt like you wanted to focus and hone in on first? Well, the, I guess the, the area that I wanted to hone in was, was about the building relationships. Um, because to me, that's the biggest thing. Um, you know, you can, you can, Talk to a kid, you can, an athlete, anyone and and but until you build those relationships, it's hard. It's hard to coach. It's hard to if you don't get to know kids and you get to know. Other people. And so what we really wanted to do, because I didn't get to see, we didn't get to see our kids till the summer. I got the job in, in March, uh, a week later, uh, COVID hit and they shut down all the schools. Um, we did a, so what we started doing is, is we did tons of zoom meetings. Um, Um, where we were introducing, um, you know, ourselves and our staff to the, uh, new staff, uh, to, to the kids and trying to slowly start building these relationships. And what we did is we broke up into position groups. We would have one big meeting, uh, Uh, with, with myself and all the coaches and the, um, and the kids, and then we would break into, um, separate meetings with position groups. Um, but it was mainly about building those relationships and then, uh, getting kids as, as As we started being able to meet with them in person to slowly start building even more on those relationships before we started anything else. Yeah. And I imagine just as that process continued to unfold, uh, you shared something with me, um, about your leadership committee. You guys call it a player committee. Um, When was the genesis of that in your, your, uh, time at there at Highland Park and what does that look like and how has that evolved over the years? Well, you know, so Coach Allen, um, I, I learned a lot from Coach Allen and so we always did a, did a book study, uh, with the coaches and then we would do it with, uh, with our player committee. What they always did is, of course, you know, he had established it for such a long time, his player committee. And so what they would do is they would go through the spring. Uh, and then he'd have guys that were in leadership that were learning to earn leadership positions. Uh, and they wouldn't elect those player committee guys until probably about midway through, um, Through the spring. Um, and then they, they would elect captains like right around, um, right before we did spring football and kind of how it's evolved with us is this, is we, we've, We do ours, we do boot camp right after, we call it staying maker, right after, um, Christmas. And then with that, we would, uh, we, we elect our, our player committee because we want, what I've learned is, is that we want those guys leading all year long, not just to A couple months or a certain amount of time. We want, uh, you know, a short time. We want them leading. And so, you know, we've, we've slowly gone from, uh, being electing it in the middle of the spring to right as, you know, right in February and having them lead. All through the spring, all through the summer, um, all the way up until, of course, through the, through the season. Um, and so that, uh, you know, You have these guys in place that other young men can go to and, and, and, you know, you get a feel of your, of your team with that group. Yeah, I, I love the idea of equipping your, your team with those leaders as quick as you can, as you're getting rolling in off season. Let's let's spend some time here and unpack this a little bit. I think it's a you guys have really developed this program into something pretty robust and pretty sound. And so let's start off right there at the beginning. All right. You know, boot camp where we're familiar, uh, coaching here in the state of Texas, familiar with what, like an off season boot camp week kind of feels and looks like, but I'm interested from hearing from you about. Okay, during boot camp week, you guys are looking for leaders. What is that leader? What are you looking for in those students? Do the other students that are participating there on the team that that offseason? Do they have a say? Are they voting them into? Do coaches choose them? Is it some combination of both things? What are you guys looking for during that first week to find those leaders? It's a, it's a, it's a kind of a both. We, we elect our player committee, um, through, through our athletes. So the kids that are in the trenches with them, now our coaches can, You know, have a little bit of a say here and there and we and that's what we allow. But what we want to do is we want it to be player led. So, our players, so they go through, they go through Stainmaker together, and as they go through Stainmaker together, um, they, you can kind of start to see the cream, you know, the, it rides to the top, right? Mm-hmm. And so, Um, and so those kids see who's leading and who's, who, you know, are you yelling at them or are you pushing them? You know, and then so they can kind of start to see which guys are working hard. Um, and then the criteria is, is then like, you know, most of our, our, our player committee are, are seniors. We try to make it a senior lead because they've been in the program for, For three or four years now. And so, um, but it's an elected position. And so what we want them to do is they go out and then they start showing the other team, like their teammates, hey, listen, you know, I'm the guy. I'm not telling them, just working hard. And then Like what we want to see, are you, are you motivating? Are you, you know, how, what is your, what is your leadership styles? Um, but you can start to see the ones that are, that, uh, through, through the staying maker. You can start to see the ones that are kind of starting to lead and they'll start pushing others instead of, you know, and that's what we tell them. We want to be positive. Be positive. Uh, you know, we're not going to be negative like, oh, come on. It's, it's, we're, we're, we're here to push each other, but we want to see who's, who's positive, um, and who's working hard and who's leading others, uh, in the direction that, that, hey, that's, you're not always going to be perfect. But how do you overcome certain situations? And so they start to, they start to kind of after, after it's over, you can kind of see who, who your leaders are and who. And as, as you're, uh, seeing those players kind of rise up to that, that challenge of leadership, uh, what have you guys noticed as a staff? Is that, um, are, are, Do you see a lot of the, the talented athletes, you know, some of your starters and stuff, uh, obviously are going to make it into that realm, but do you see other, other types of athletes? Uh, the great elite encourager, maybe a special teams guy, maybe, uh, you know, second string kind of guy, but do you see those get elevated as well? And do players elect those types of teams? Like, who do you see that the players are choosing for their leadership? Well, you know, we do, we have a lot, we have, we have, uh, I think three guys that are mainly special teams slash, uh, probably backups, um, on, on our player committee. Um, and, and it's because of, uh, you know, you know, like I said, it comes down to building relationships. Uh, and, and then, then with those relationships, it comes down to, uh, then, then, then the kids look at who's working hard. Um, and then who leads in a positive manner. Um, and so those are some of the three things that like that, that a lot of them, when I talk to them about, Hey, these are kind of the guys we're looking for. And do they have these characteristics? And so we have not just, don't get me wrong, we have some of our star players that are probably going to play in college football, they're on there. But we also have some kids that, uh, that, you know, don't play as much, but they're leaders on the team, uh, by their, because of their work, work, work ethic, um, because they lead in a positive way because. People don't mind coming and talking to them if something's going on. You know what I'm saying? So they, there's a lot of, a lot of good things that come out of, um, out of this, out of our leadership committee, our player committee. Um, and, and so, yeah, we do see a lot of, uh, kids that may not be the starter, um, that are. Gotcha. So. So you guys, uh, that team gets elected and then boom, January hits and you guys hit the ground running. What is the rest of the kind of spring semester look like for you guys with that leadership team? How's it organized? How, how often do you all meet? Um, and so on and so forth. So what we do is, so Stangmaker goes on through January, and then we'll finish up right at the end. We start, we elect the player committee, and it's anywhere from ten to twelve young men. Um, and then what we do after that is, is we, we create, um, what we call family groups. And in those family groups, um, each, each player committee guy is a leader of their family group. Um, and then we'll have a coach that's with them. And so our coaches as a coaching staff, usually we'll, we'll pick a book and we'll do a study starting in December, uh, through January. Um, Um, and, and kind of go over our, our lessons and things that we want to be able to, to, to hit and, and, and go through with our, uh, with our groups, with our family groups. And so what we do is we, every Wednesday, um, and, and here we, we, we have what we call a modified block during, uh, On Wednesdays and Thursdays. And so our, our periods longer on, on Wednesday. And so, um, during that time, we'll, uh, we, we, that's kind of our leadership day. And so I will, I myself will meet with, uh, the player committee will go over, uh, whatever it is for the day to maybe a lesson. It could be anything from, you know, like, uh, uh, self-control to whatever. I mean, like, Our books tell you our first section was believe. And so, you know, we want our kids to believe and have their mission. You know what I'm saying? They would, they would then in turn get with their family groups and we'll spend the first like twenty minutes of the period, um, With them and then the next twenty minutes will be they will be with their family groups, and so the the coaches will help guide them but the players will be the ones that are going to lead them through the lesson. Um, and so they lead them through that lesson and talk about, you know, what we've talked about. Um, and, and, uh, and so they get that to the group and then Uh, what we do with our family groups as the spring goes on is, um, they had, they do volunteer opportunities. Uh, they get points for going to, uh, like Points for volunteering. They get points for going to, uh, other team games, uh, like other sports, baseball, soccer, softball, tennis, whatever it is. If they group of them go, um, they, they go, they try to just Do it with their family groups. Um, and so, um, you know, and so it gets them not only involved in, in, uh, in, you know, football and what we're doing there, but also in the community of Kingwood High School. Um, and so, and it also teaches them to, to serve others because that's what it's about. It's a, it's about building relationships, about loving others. It's about, uh, serving others, uh, and, and having that kind of servant Mentality. Um, and then, you know, cause that's gonna make us better people and, and, uh, later on in life. And so we use that whole thing all through the spring. Uh, through our family groups and then, uh, when we get to, uh, we'll do it all the way through till the, to the end of spring football. And then in the summer, um, we, uh, those, they keep working in those family groups. We'll still meet during the summer at times. We don't do it quite as much because kids are, you know, they're gone sometimes. But then what we're looking at is with our player committee guys is How are you showing up for workouts? Are you lifting? What are you doing? And then what happens then is, is in the, when we get to August, we'll elect our captains and they come from those twelve player committee guys. And then also those are voted on by, um, by their teammates. Awesome. And so as you guys are, are moving through the different movements of, you know, off season, during season, all that stuff, you, you, you shared with me and you shared a second ago that, uh, just the value and the importance of, Community service and giving back and how that seems to be kind of a, a pillar and foundation for you guys. And through that process, your teams, your family groups can actually earn. Points. Uh, tell me more about how you kind of gamify that, that system. Why, like where, where else can they earn points? Um, what does those points lead up to for them? You know, tell us more about that. Okay, so what we'll do is like, we'll start, they get points and it could be, you know, we've come up with a system and you can get ten points for volunteer opportunities. Five points like for going to, uh, to different team sport games. You get, I mean, so, so they can gain points by it. Um, and, and, but what they do is, um, you know, it could be anything like we, we had a, um, There was a 5k for in the, uh, silence, uh, the other day and they can, you know, if it was in the spring, they could gain points for, uh, you know, ten points for volunteering and going and running in it, um, and, and supporting that. Um, and, but they have to do it as a family group. So you try to get as many as possible as you can in your group to be able to go do those things. And, and so like a lot of times what we'll do too in the spring is, uh, you know, they can go to the middle schools. Um, And volunteer like opening the doors or whatever in the mornings, uh, elementary schools. Those are all like opportunities to our feeder schools. They can go out in the community. We do, uh, we do like clean up Kingwood day. Um, so there's a lot of opportunities for the, for them to earn points and what they do is they earn points not only for volunteers going to games, they can do it, they can get points for academics. So Highest GPA, uh, per, we do it every three weeks, so we check their grades, uh, every three weeks, and then we'll average their group, uh, their, their coaches will average those group together, and the highest GPA, we break it down in points, so kind of like you win. Uh, you can ten eight, six, you know, like, uh, uh, you know, I guess the track meet almost, uh, you get points for academics. Um, and so we, we try to place everything into, you know, points. Um, and then once the, the, the winning team at the end, um, at the end, right before we go to spring football, uh, they'll get like a hamburger and hot dog meals. And so, uh, what, what we'll do is we may cook hot dogs for all the guys that didn't win the winning team gets. Gets hamburgers. Um, and so, but there's always some type of reward, uh, for that in those family groups. So what we try to do is help them understand that it's about serving more than it is about like themselves. Every coach wants a player led team, but how do you build a player led team? That's the question that led to the creation of the captain's course, a ten week customizable leadership development course for student athletes. The captain's course will equip student athletes to lead their teammates, Promote the growth of leadership skills, create alignment on your core values from coach to athlete, and help build player-led teams. Learn more at www.twowords.tv slash captainscourse. Coach, what have you seen, uh, the impact of these family groups, uh, in these students' lives can be on, off the field, um. In implementing this type of really intentional program, uh, giving students and, and these leaders that giving the leaders opportunity to lead and training them and equipping them to do so, not just on the field, but off. And then giving these students a smaller tight knit group that they can really lean into. Uh, they have a, a peer, a student peer leader that they can go to and. You know, bounce ideas off of say, hey, I'm struggling with this. I'm having a hard time with this. Hey, I need to talk to coach or this educator about this, but I don't know how to approach the conversation yet. What's been the impact for you guys on and off the field? Well, I've seen our kids grow closer together because sometimes, you know, they come from all different walks of life. Everybody does. Um, and so sometimes what happens is, is when there's a big group and you've got 250 kids in the program, they don't know where they fit in. Um, and what you learn is, is that when you put them in these smaller groups, they learn to confide in each other. Uh, and then some of them end up actually becoming good friends, but they learn to check up on each other, um, and carry like, so if someone's not there, they know it. And they're like, hey, man, so they'll reach out to them. And it doesn't have to just be a coach. And then it also opens the door, like you said, for them to go and meet with other people and talk to them. And I'm having this issue, man. What's what? You know, what should I do? And then they can either lead them and say, hey, man, you might want to talk to one of the coaches about this or hey, here's some things like I've gone through because like seniors have gone through more stuff than say a freshman or a sophomore. And so it's allowed us to become more of a close knit group. And I think it's actually helped us even this year in our locker room that it doesn't matter where you come from or what you do. They care about each other deeply. And so they, they have, what I've, what I've seen in this, especially this past year, because we really more implemented it this past year into this year, um, is like they play for each other. And, and so when we, when we're, you know, we're out in the field, like they believe in each other. And so if someone goes down, their mentality is man, next guy up. And dude, you know, and then they'll check on that guy or whatever else. But they're like, but they truly know that, hey, man, you've been working as hard as I have. And so it's built that relationship and that cohesiveness in the locker room. Yeah. Yeah. And that, that really is a, uh, a separator on the field, that level of connection, that level of relationships when students are, when they're fighting for each other and playing for each other, look for that you're. It just, you can't, you can't help but see them overcome those challenges and that adversity when it hits them in the face on the field. I 100% agree. 100% agree. Coach, what? Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, no, you're good, you're good. Yeah. Uh, coach for those that are listening, what have been some, uh, some good book studies, you mentioned that being kind of a, a key, uh, to kind of your training and training up leaders using a book study to kind of jump off and, And equip those leaders with, uh, you know, character mindset, character development opportunities. Uh, what have been some of your favorite book studies you've done or what books are you running through right now? Just so listeners have a couple of like takeaways. Well, I've got. For sure. So I'll give you all the ones we've used over here in the last couple of years. So I, the first one that like one of the first ones we use and coach Allen used it and I use it was a, you win when the lock, you win in the locker room first. Um, That was one of them. Uh, we've used, uh, Chip Baker's, the power of influence. Um, we've used, uh, uh, teammates matter. Um, and then we've gone, uh, the locker room. If you've read that one, uh, the hard hat, um, and the one we're using right now, which has been really good as an extreme ownership. Um, and it's how U S Navy SEALs lead and win. Um, and so, uh, it's been really good, uh, for our kids and what we do with it a lot of times is we meet every Wednesday during, even during the season, uh, and we go over the lesson, uh, Um, and I talked to the PC and then, and we sit down and we talk and I asked them, you know, get the fill of the locker room, but these books, you know, And what we do is we break it down because sometimes it's about like an extreme ownership. It's not about business. And we talk about as a group, how does this fit us? Yes. And so, um, and, and so that's, that's kind of what we do and how we do it and how our lessons kind of work. Yeah. Coach, you got to spend some time, uh, coaching under coach Randy Allen over there at Highland Park. Um, definitely, you know, uh, Texas just legend of a coach. What else, uh, did you bring over from, uh, your time with him? What are some things that you learned from him or just some. Some ways that you, uh, developed kind of this coaching philosophy of pouring into these kids through your time under him. Well, the thing about Coach Allen is, is like, what you have to understand, like, he truly loves football. He loves coaching and he loves the, he loves kids. Um, that's why he's done it for so long. Um, and his thing is, is, you know, about, uh, he, what he, what he always wants to see is he wants to see our kids be successful. And and so I brought a lot of that with me and that's where like the book study came from the player committee came from. And then, of course, like, the morals and values that are taught, um, you know, just through his leadership. And it's taught me how to, like, truly, like, I guess love kids and to care about them more than football and to care about them more than because the wins and losses are going to come and go. Um, but, you know, and, and, and so were kids, but the thing about it is, is how did you influence their lives? And, um, and that's what he, those five years under Coach Allen taught me, um, First and foremost, how to, how to truly care and love about love people and to love kids. And then, and then, um, just his leadership style and the way that he keeps calm under the, and I'm still working on that, um, uh, under pressure. Um, and he's taught and so like and how he he builds into his coaches and not just the kids like he also helps he wants them to be the best to. Um, and so I try to do that same thing here with my coaches is to, to, you know, I don't have to be a micromanager. Um, you know, you allow them to coach, but, but you, you, You build into them and then they build into kids because you're not going to reach everybody. Like I said, there's three, you know, we had 300, 400 kids in the program. Um, but he would try to get to know each and every one of them. And, and he would go around what I, what I saw, I'd sat back and just watched him. He would go around and put his arms around as many as he could and talk to him. And let them know, hey, I know who you are. And to, to a young man, that's, that's special because anytime the head coach knows your name, Um, you know, those are, those are valuable things. Um, and, and, and we have to, you know, he's taught me that it's not about me. It's not about us. It's a, it's about. You know, um, it's about those young men and about building them up and making them successful young men in life. Speaking of, uh, your coaches, coach, and just coaches that have, that have influenced you, uh, through your career, uh, you get the. Super fun privilege of, uh, at least I assume it is of, uh, your, your dad is actually one of your assistant coaches. Is that right? He is. Um, my dad has been coaching for forty-nine years. Wow. Um, he's my defensive coordinator. Um, he's forgotten more football than I, than I'll ever know. This is just a, it's a godsend. It's a, it's an opportunity that, I mean, I, I'm just extremely blessed to be with him every single day for the last five years. Um, And, uh, you know, like I said, he, he works his tail end up. He's seventy-two years old and he just, he loves, he loves kids. Um, and he loves what he does. And so, you know, Uh, that's just so, but it's been an awesome, awesome experience. Yeah, I bet. I'm, I'm curious. What do, what do the kids get to see between you and your dad when y'all are coaching and working together? Well, they get to see a relationship of father-son that, that care, truly care and love each other. Um, That it's a true relationship. And the thing is, it's like, you know, we don't always agree. Um, but we agree to agree when, when we're with them. Um. But, you know, there's not much rift between us. I promise you that. But it's, it's, they also get to see a father son that are best friends. Um, but, And they get to see how we interact. Like, they call me Coach Melton. They call him Papa Melton. Uh, and so, like, You know, they, they kind of see him as, uh, as the grandfather and, uh, and, and, you know, he's the guy, he will get after him, but he, but he loves on him. And so, but they get to see their relationship that we have. And, and, and then, you know, that, that it, that, and some of the, some kids miss, some kids don't get that opportunity to have a, that father figure in their, in their lives. And so, They kind of get to see that relationship uh, that we have and then we try to have that with them um, because it doesn't, you know, uh, it It's just, uh, it's hard. Sometimes it's hard to even explain, but it's, uh, it's just, it's just unreal. Um, the relationship that we've had and the growth that we've had over the past five years. Um, but it, it, it does reflect and go into our kids. Yeah, that's so cool, coach. It's a real sweet opportunity that, uh, the kids get to see that and that you and he get to experience that and spend that time together on a day-to-day basis. So. And you know, and what's awesome too is like my son's a sophomore. So he gets the experience of not only his dad, but his grandfather being out there to help coach him. So it's been a family affair. And so it's been a, this is probably one of the, probably the specialist like moments in my life. Yeah. I love it. And I love that you're tuned into that and that you're getting to experience that and that you're not hung up on the things that matter less. You're hung up on the things that matter most. Uh, you got family surrounded you, you're impacting these kids, you're pouring into them. Uh, You got that set on the priority and, uh, it's incredible coach, a phenomenal work you were doing out there. You got to share with me earlier, um, how. You, you implemented some of the Texas way sportsmanship initiative earlier this year, and that's been a tool for you guys to kind of help. Support some of your character and culture building efforts this year. Um, I'd love to hear just kind of how that, how that is going, uh, what you guys kind of did, how you've leveraged that program and those resources that have been made available. Uh, to all coaches, you know, free of charge across the state. Um, you know, we've got some, uh, the associations, the AD's association, Texas high school coaches association, Texas UIL. Are all, uh, really lifting up this initiative this year and honing in on sportsmanship as a place of focus for us. So tell us what, you know, your experience with the program has been like and maybe how it's been useful to you guys. No, it's been really good. Like, I mean, last week we, we, we talked about, and it was really, really good because we talked about self-control. Um, And so I'm just using this as one lesson. And so we, we, what we do is we break up into our position groups and into our offensive defense and And we really, like, pressured home. So I talked to him as a whole about what we needed to do. I talked to, well, first thing I did, I brought my player committee in. And I said, guys, these are the things that we got to do because what happens a lot of times to me is you start getting into pressure situations and it's how you react, right? Um, And so, um, we didn't ever want to make it about us versus them. We wanted to be like, like I said, us versus us. Um, and so we talked heavily about, um, Self control last week, because when you start playing, we felt like over the last four weeks we've been playing the playoff playoff games, because we've had to work to where we had to win our last game to get into the playoffs. And so that's high pressure, sometimes pressure situations. And games and how you control yourself is, uh, you know, is going to be a telltale of also like it could come down to wins and losses. Um, and that's not only in football, but in life. So we use that example of. Self-control over this past week to be able to say, hey, listen, guys, we got to control ourselves. So if something happens, if somebody does something to you, then, you know, you've got to have self-control not to do anything back. Yep. Um, and, and so we, we had a heavy talk about that with our player committee. Our player committee met with groups and talked to them and then we talked to them as a big group about, um, not making it versus us versus anyone else. But just, we need to look at us and be able to control us. And so, um, and, and, and, and even myself, I mean, you know, talking about being under control. Um, and how you react to certain situations. And so, uh, it was a good lesson, not only for me, but it was a good, a good lesson for our kids too. And as we push further and now then into the playoffs where, you know, Uh, and I don't say put pressure on, but you know, you, you want to have a chance to win football games. And so, uh, the team that has control and, and, And doesn't, you know, penalties, you know what I'm saying, um, is the team that's going to have the chance to win. And so, uh, we're really hitting that, uh, you know, um, this week too, uh, uh, about that same type of thing. Yeah, well, I love y'all's timing of that and I couldn't agree more with you and I think it's a great use of some of those those available resources. Um, because you're, you're, you're spot on, you know, uh, you don't want to accidentally induce pressure by talking about high pressure games with your students and your athletes. But at the same time, the reality is once you start nearing that playoff season, you know, every down, every, every play starts to matter quite a bit on whether or not you're going into postseason or not. And, and when you're hanging up the, uh, hanging it up for some of these seniors and stuff. So. It does emotions, uh, you know, temperaments, all those things can start running hot and running high and equipping those students and reminding them, keeping some of that language top of mind. Is, is a great practice, whether that's through the resources made available through Texas way, um, or really, or just having the conversation with them, reminding them, Hey, we're, we're entering in some high stakes games. Other teams are going to be tuned up. We're tuned up. We're, we're, we're watching every play every down and, uh, and that naturally can build up some pressure. So, uh, equipping them with, you know, top of mind. Uh, ideas, mentalities, and areas to focus in the midst of those high stake games and high stakes, high stake moments is a really powerful use of those, of those resources. Yeah, I mean, and that's what, like, we've used it for is the most part. And I also talk to him about, like, for instance, if there's a high thing, like, outside of, out of here, like, what you say and do, like, if you're going to go play college ball or do something else, like, You know, they're going to check your social media. They're going to check. So like if you're frustrated about something and you express it onto that and you don't have self-control just because you're mad, like, you know, we are. Everybody at some time, mad types, ah, you know, and then, okay, delete it, right? I mean, so, my thing is, it's like, I talk to them, so it's not only a football pressure situation, but also in life. Like, how do you rap? Because people are going to remember that. And so, You know, like, that's what I try to tell them. You don't, like, don't get frustrated on this and this because you don't want to lose your athletic scholarship because you said something on social media or, you know what I'm saying, like, things like that. So you've got to learn to have control and Uh, and self-control. And so, like I said, it's been, it's been, it's been good over the, you know, just reading through some of that stuff and then, uh, turning that to our athletes and getting it to them and, and talking about it. Coach, I've got one more question for you as we start to bump up against our time here today. Uh, In 2024, 2025, what is the number one challenge you feel like kids are facing and what do coaches need to know about it or what do coaches need to, uh, to do to support them best in that? Well, the biggest challenge is, and I'm going to be honest, to me, and just kind of hit more likely here lately, is like, We have a lot of people in this world that it's about them, right? Like, and so like a lot of people are looking out for number one. And to me, the challenge is, is Getting people to, to, to serve others. Um, and I think like to put others for, you know, put others before self. And so, um, And, you know, especially in the world of the NIL and all this other stuff that's going on, like, you know, to me is like, you have to first and foremost build those relationships with those kids. And then you have to start teaching them from a young age. And I think that's what we try to do with our family groups. And that's what we try to do with, with, uh, um. All these by doing these leadership things is it's like learning to work with each other because that's what you're going to do in life. And that's the hardest part is is sometimes it's like, you know, what I'm seeing is as kids. And oh, I'm going to move because I'm not going to play or I'm going to do this and and it becomes about them and not the team. And so that's the one of the big issues that we're struggling with is and then you know it that it's it's bigger than you. And so we try to do a lot of that and teach a lot of that stuff in our spring and through our leadership stuff is that The team's bigger than you. Everything is bigger than you and serving others, loving others, having relationship. And, and, and then, you know, uh, that'll lead them to, to different areas in their lives. Well said, coach. Thank you so much for your time today. If our listeners want to connect with you, maybe learn more about a particular area of your program that you touched on today, uh, would it be all right if they reached out to you? And if so, what would be the best way for them to do that? I would say through my email and it's cmelton at humbleisd.net. Um, and you can reach out to me if you need anything or, or, or just want to talk or whatever else. Um, um, I'm, I'm always open. It's harder to get ahold of me sometimes on the phone. It's easier for me. If you email me, then I can get right back with you. Awesome. That's perfect, coach. And we'll drop that email address in the show notes. Once again, coach, thank you so much for your time today. It's been an absolute blast. I appreciate it, Colton. Thank y'all so much for having me. God bless and y'all have a great rest of your week. Hey guys, one last note before you head off for your day. Over 1400 schools across the nation have or are using one of our curriculums. Are you ready to jump on board? If you want a turnkey program to develop character in your athletes, give us a call at 281-723-9943. We will work with you and your budget to make it as easy as possible. Thanks again for listening to the coach 360 podcast. Now let's have a good one today.

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338. Cale Melton - Family Groups & Building a Foundation of Character and Trust

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}338. Cale Melton - Family Groups & Building a Foundation of Character and Trust