August 2, 2025 • 8 mins
Ancient bottle, unexpected message, modern laughs!
Get ready for another dose of the delightfully bizarre! In this edition of our month-long Odd News PAC series, we bring you a true story that proves reality is often stranger, and far funnier, than fiction. Imagine this – a faded glass bottle washes ashore, containing a message that could easily be from days long past. What secrets does it hold? A desperate plea? A historical revelation? Or something far more unexpectedly hilarious? Researchers are about to find out.
Listen to "Bottle With A Message" to discover the surprising truth behind this curious find. Let's just say it involves a well-known spirit. And not the ghostly kind. Oh, and if you know your 1990's dance crazes, that might be a big help. This is one comedic unraveling you won't want to miss!
Plus, we continue to celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast. In this episode, our Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast (PAC) clip was first released in October of 2005. This one will transport you to a retro-futuristic world. Have you ever wondered what "tomorrow" looked like from a 1950s perspective? Prepare for a wonderfully misguided, incredibly funny journey through antiquated predictions of work, school, and even movie nights!
Don't just read about it, hear all the laughs and ridiculous details. Click play now on "Bottle With A Message" – your ears will thank you!
>> Support comedy4cast by becoming a patron on Patreon>> Or you can get Clinton a Dunkin' card or a cup of coffee via Ko-Fi>> Follow comedy4cast on BlueSky, Instagram, Facebook, MeWe, and Mastodon >> Give us a call via the Super Secret Phone Line (213) 290-4451>> Also check out Clinton's other podcast, The Topic is Trek>> Certain sounds effects heard on comedy4cast are courtesy of freeSFX and FreeSound.org
Click here for a transcript of this episode.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now.
It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to
try to put out a podcast every day in August.
For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
(00:24):
Here at the comedy4castStudios, we always take this month to provide you
with some interesting, yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast,
an event we're calling the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, we'll end each Dog Day episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.
(00:50):
So, let's get started with Odd News PAC.
Recently, an archaeology technician from Potlotec First Nation,
a community of Mi'kmaq Native Americans, came across a glass bottle on a beach.
(01:11):
The glass was hazy, the result of its outer surface constantly rubbing against sand and rock.
Inside was a message from what appeared to be days of yore. Pretty intriguing.
The discovery was announced by the Sable Island National Park Reserve.
Sable Island is a small island off the waters of Nova Scotia.
Officials said the message was very faded. Uh-oh.
(01:34):
Had time taken its toll on this missive from the past, leaving us to forever
wonder what the author was trying to communicate? Aww.
Fortunately, no. Hooray! The researchers were eventually able to make out,
among other things, the date on the note. They were also able to identify the
ancient currency also included in the bottle.
(01:56):
Here are the shocking details of this ancient mystery.
The bottle was good old Gordon's London Dry Gin.
Not only was the red lettering on the yellow cap still quite visible,
so were the raised letters on the bottle itself.
As further evidence, when the bottle was opened, And Parks Canada representative
Jennifer Nicholson said, you could still smell the gin.
(02:19):
Gordon's advertising? Get on this for your next promotional display.
Now, about the currency. It was unfamiliar to some of the researchers, but not all. Why?
Because it was a Canadian $2 bill from 1974.
The Bank of Canada replaced the $2 bill with the $2 coin, or toonie, in 1996.
(02:41):
The young researchers had simply never seen a two-dollar bill because it had
been discontinued the same year people were dancing to the Macarena.
Are you feeling old now?
The message had been dropped into the ocean on January 14th, 1983.
Or, to put it another way, at the same time Maneater by Hall and Oates was topping the charts.
(03:05):
And the faded nature of the note, that was mostly due to the ink being affected
by gin still remaining in the bottle.
The dated note also included the names of some of the crew members of the ship
the bottle had been tossed from, and after some research, the ship itself was
identified as the Wimpey Sea Hunter.
(03:26):
That's not a commentary on the quality of the boat or its crew.
That was literally the name of the ship, Wimpey Sea Hunter.
It was a British resupply ship built in 1982, and it didn't suffer any disastrous
fate during its time in service.
This was no note from castaways or sailors adrift in a lifeboat.
(03:49):
It appears to have simply been a note scribbled after the bottle was mostly
empty and tossed off the Wimpey Sea Hunter.
Officials haven't been able to track down any of the crew members listed on
the note, who may now be in their 60s and 70s, but say they'd love to hear from them.
Are you sure about that? Because I think those sailors might say, Right.
(04:10):
You got our note. You knew the name of our ship. You were supposed to use the
money to buy us another bottle of gin.
And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy forecast with this classic clip.
This clip is from the episode released on October 17th, 2005.
(04:31):
Here, I'm trying to emulate the style of a 1950s newsreel narrator,
describing a look at the world of tomorrow, the way the 1950s sensibilities would have imagined it.
As we join the episode, we've already seen how Mother spends her day interacting
with time-saving devices.
Yeah, pretty much all centered around housework.
(04:53):
Maybe Father and the kids will fare better. Let's find out. Talk about convenience.
Meanwhile, in another part of the secret laboratory at 436 River Road,
scientists are researching ways to make Father's workday easier,
starting from the moment he steps into the family car in the morning.
His flying car, that is. When this humble reporter asked our slide-rule-wielding
(05:13):
friends how it works, they mumbled something about the drag coefficient and lift.
But when I asked them to simplify the technical mumbo-jumbo,
they said it worked via the miracle of flight-o-matic atomic dust.
Now that's a name with Zing!
Look how Father's car can glide through the air with the greatest of ease thanks
to the miracle of fllight-o-matic atomic dust and land on a dime right outside the
(05:34):
office. Nice job, Father!
Oh, and look! Here comes Father's office buddy, Ted.
Ted chose to get to work on board the new flying Bus-O-Rama. That's all the rage.
In the future... No time to chat, you two. It's off to work.
Yes, even in the future, people need to be productive members of society. But,
thanks to advances in vacuum tube design, the workday will soon be a mere four hours long.
(05:57):
That means less time to talk about the big game around the water cooler,
but father is thrilled because it means more time for golf, tinkering with the
family flying car, and meeting the boys for a few drinks down at the new revolving Bowl-a-drome.
Even little Sally and young Bobby will benefit from the top secret work being
conducted by the scientists pictured here.
Gone will be the hours of tedious reading and memorizing we've all come to endure.
(06:19):
Using sophisticated x-ray machines like this one, which is no bigger than the
average living room, teachers will be able to take entire books,
multiplication tables, and even world maps, and permanently emboss them directly
on the brains of our young geniuses.
Now little Sally and young Bobby will always know that there are 48 states,
and they can instantly recite to you the amazing uses of asbestos.
(06:41):
Talk about a smart idea! But all this talk of work and school might have you
wondering if there's any time for fun in the future. You bet there is. And how?
Here we see Mother, Father, Little Sally, and Young Bobby entering the new Cinema-a-Rama Dome.
Yes, even your local motion picture theater will be better than ever in the future.
That's because each seat will be fitted with one of these, its own hot butter dispenser. Oops.
(07:06):
Looks like Little Bobby needs a few extra napkins. Now, sit back and enjoy the
double feature. Oh, wait. This is the future.
Enjoy your triple feature, Mr. and Mrs. Moviegoing Public.
As we can see, thanks to the hard work of Dr. Alan Malansky, Dr.
Wayne Dansk, and all the other scientists at this secret laboratory,
which can be reached by calling Klondike 5-3127, the future looks bright indeed.
(07:29):
This is Lloyd Williams reporting.
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC.
But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patron, Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic
podcast at windowtothemagic.com.
You too can support comedy4castand
(07:51):
get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4castd, all one word with the number 4, on patreon.com.
Story, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025.
All rights reserved.
(08:12):
Talk to you again next time. But for now, that's it. We're done,
done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.
The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now.
It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to
try to put out a podcast every day in August.
For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
(00:24):
Here at the comedy4castStudios, we always take this month to provide you
with some interesting, yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast,
an event we're calling the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, we'll end each Dog Day episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.
(00:50):
So, let's get started with Odd News PAC.
Recently, an archaeology technician from Potlotec First Nation,
a community of Mi'kmaq Native Americans, came across a glass bottle on a beach.
(01:11):
The glass was hazy, the result of its outer surface constantly rubbing against sand and rock.
Inside was a message from what appeared to be days of yore. Pretty intriguing.
The discovery was announced by the Sable Island National Park Reserve.
Sable Island is a small island off the waters of Nova Scotia.
Officials said the message was very faded. Uh-oh.
(01:34):
Had time taken its toll on this missive from the past, leaving us to forever
wonder what the author was trying to communicate? Aww.
Fortunately, no. Hooray! The researchers were eventually able to make out,
among other things, the date on the note. They were also able to identify the
ancient currency also included in the bottle.
(01:56):
Here are the shocking details of this ancient mystery.
The bottle was good old Gordon's London Dry Gin.
Not only was the red lettering on the yellow cap still quite visible,
so were the raised letters on the bottle itself.
As further evidence, when the bottle was opened, And Parks Canada representative
Jennifer Nicholson said, you could still smell the gin.
(02:19):
Gordon's advertising? Get on this for your next promotional display.
Now, about the currency. It was unfamiliar to some of the researchers, but not all. Why?
Because it was a Canadian $2 bill from 1974.
The Bank of Canada replaced the $2 bill with the $2 coin, or toonie, in 1996.
(02:41):
The young researchers had simply never seen a two-dollar bill because it had
been discontinued the same year people were dancing to the Macarena.
Are you feeling old now?
The message had been dropped into the ocean on January 14th, 1983.
Or, to put it another way, at the same time Maneater by Hall and Oates was topping the charts.
(03:05):
And the faded nature of the note, that was mostly due to the ink being affected
by gin still remaining in the bottle.
The dated note also included the names of some of the crew members of the ship
the bottle had been tossed from, and after some research, the ship itself was
identified as the Wimpey Sea Hunter.
(03:26):
That's not a commentary on the quality of the boat or its crew.
That was literally the name of the ship, Wimpey Sea Hunter.
It was a British resupply ship built in 1982, and it didn't suffer any disastrous
fate during its time in service.
This was no note from castaways or sailors adrift in a lifeboat.
(03:49):
It appears to have simply been a note scribbled after the bottle was mostly
empty and tossed off the Wimpey Sea Hunter.
Officials haven't been able to track down any of the crew members listed on
the note, who may now be in their 60s and 70s, but say they'd love to hear from them.
Are you sure about that? Because I think those sailors might say, Right.
(04:10):
You got our note. You knew the name of our ship. You were supposed to use the
money to buy us another bottle of gin.
And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy forecast with this classic clip.
This clip is from the episode released on October 17th, 2005.
(04:31):
Here, I'm trying to emulate the style of a 1950s newsreel narrator,
describing a look at the world of tomorrow, the way the 1950s sensibilities would have imagined it.
As we join the episode, we've already seen how Mother spends her day interacting
with time-saving devices.
Yeah, pretty much all centered around housework.
(04:53):
Maybe Father and the kids will fare better. Let's find out. Talk about convenience.
Meanwhile, in another part of the secret laboratory at 436 River Road,
scientists are researching ways to make Father's workday easier,
starting from the moment he steps into the family car in the morning.
His flying car, that is. When this humble reporter asked our slide-rule-wielding
(05:13):
friends how it works, they mumbled something about the drag coefficient and lift.
But when I asked them to simplify the technical mumbo-jumbo,
they said it worked via the miracle of flight-o-matic atomic dust.
Now that's a name with Zing!
Look how Father's car can glide through the air with the greatest of ease thanks
to the miracle of fllight-o-matic atomic dust and land on a dime right outside the
(05:34):
office. Nice job, Father!
Oh, and look! Here comes Father's office buddy, Ted.
Ted chose to get to work on board the new flying Bus-O-Rama. That's all the rage.
In the future... No time to chat, you two. It's off to work.
Yes, even in the future, people need to be productive members of society. But,
thanks to advances in vacuum tube design, the workday will soon be a mere four hours long.
(05:57):
That means less time to talk about the big game around the water cooler,
but father is thrilled because it means more time for golf, tinkering with the
family flying car, and meeting the boys for a few drinks down at the new revolving Bowl-a-drome.
Even little Sally and young Bobby will benefit from the top secret work being
conducted by the scientists pictured here.
Gone will be the hours of tedious reading and memorizing we've all come to endure.
(06:19):
Using sophisticated x-ray machines like this one, which is no bigger than the
average living room, teachers will be able to take entire books,
multiplication tables, and even world maps, and permanently emboss them directly
on the brains of our young geniuses.
Now little Sally and young Bobby will always know that there are 48 states,
and they can instantly recite to you the amazing uses of asbestos.
(06:41):
Talk about a smart idea! But all this talk of work and school might have you
wondering if there's any time for fun in the future. You bet there is. And how?
Here we see Mother, Father, Little Sally, and Young Bobby entering the new Cinema-a-Rama Dome.
Yes, even your local motion picture theater will be better than ever in the future.
That's because each seat will be fitted with one of these, its own hot butter dispenser. Oops.
(07:06):
Looks like Little Bobby needs a few extra napkins. Now, sit back and enjoy the
double feature. Oh, wait. This is the future.
Enjoy your triple feature, Mr. and Mrs. Moviegoing Public.
As we can see, thanks to the hard work of Dr. Alan Malansky, Dr.
Wayne Dansk, and all the other scientists at this secret laboratory,
which can be reached by calling Klondike 5-3127, the future looks bright indeed.
(07:29):
This is Lloyd Williams reporting.
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC.
But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patron, Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic
podcast at windowtothemagic.com.
You too can support comedy4castand
(07:51):
get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4castd, all one word with the number 4, on patreon.com.
Story, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025.
All rights reserved.
(08:12):
Talk to you again next time. But for now, that's it. We're done,
done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.
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