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September 24, 2025 25 mins

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How do you turn life-shattering trauma into a powerful speaking career? Combat-wounded veteran Brian Fleming reveals the answer after surviving a suicide bomber attack in Afghanistan that left him with second and third-degree burns requiring 14 months of grueling recovery.

The pivotal moment came when Fleming met a Vietnam veteran who showed him how personal pain could transform lives—including his own. Sixteen years later, Fleming has spoken to over half a million people, worked with Fortune 500 companies, and built a thriving career sharing his resilience strategies.

What's surprising is Fleming's counterintuitive approach to storytelling. "One of the biggest mistakes new speakers make is that they talk about themselves," he explains. Instead, successful speakers position their experiences as solutions to problems their audiences desperately want solved. This shift in perspective transforms a personal story from self-focused to audience-focused, answering the two questions every listener silently asks: "Why does this person understand me?" and "Why should I listen to them?"

Fleming breaks down his profitable speaking framework into three essential components: Problem (identify what pain your audience experiences), Promote (market yourself to the right decision-makers), and Present (deliver value that solves their problem). This approach works whether you have an extreme story like Fleming's or more common life experiences—the key is addressing problems your audience recognizes and hates.

Ready to share your own story and get paid for it? Fleming offers a free Share Your Story Roadmap at useyourstory.com that shows how to make your first $500 speaking within 30 days. As he reminds us, "Your story has more power than you could ever possibly imagine, and your story matters."

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carl (00:04):
Welcome to Communication Connection Community the
podcaster's podcast.
This podcast takes a deep diveinto modern day communication
strategies in the podcastingspace.
We chat with interesting peoplewho make the podcasting and
speaking spaces exciting andvibrant.
We also dive into thepodcasting community with news

(00:24):
updates, latest trends andtopics from this ever-evolving
space.
So strap in, it's going to beone amazing ride.
Let's dive into today's episode.
Lots of people want to sharetheir story with the world and
even get paid to do it, but theyhave no idea where to begin.

(00:46):
Well, Brian Fleming is a combatwounded war vet who was injured
by a suicide bomber inAfghanistan.
He's turned his journey into ahighly profitable and
influential speaking career andhas been a professional speaker,
author and a resilience trainerfor over 16 years.
He's a sought-after podcastguest.
He's a fairly new podcast hostthat I'm sure will come up in

(01:09):
conversation as well.
We are so blessed that Brian isjoining us today.
Brian, welcome to the podcast.

Brian (01:15):
Hey, thanks for having me , Carl.

Carl (01:18):
Let's talk about your journey.
Let's give you the opportunityto share how it is that you and
I know that obviously pieces ofyour story.
Let's give you the opportunityto share how it is that you and
I know that obviously pieces ofyour story.
Let's give you the opportunityto tell your story.
What brought you to where youare today with this wonderful
experience that you have.

Brian (01:34):
Well, the big piece of it started when a suicide bomber
tried to kill me in Kandahar,Afghanistan.
I served with the US Army's10th Mountain Division back in
2006 as a team leader in aninfantry platoon and I was there
from March to late July of 06.
During that time, one of myvehicles got blown up on April

(01:55):
18th of 06.
We ran over a double stack ofanti-tank mines buried in the
road.
Two of my guys injured butreturned to duty a month later.
I was uninjured physically atthe time.
Then, a few months later, asuicide bomber as we were
driving through Kandahar downHighway 1, he got right up next
to my vehicle, slammed into mydoor and blew himself and his

(02:16):
van into about a billion pieces.
And I woke up laying face downin a ditch on the side of
Highway 1 in Kandahar.
It was about lunchtime on July24th.
I was burned and bloody burnedsecond degree on my face and
neck, which is now healed, thenthird degree on both of my hands
.
I ended up spending 14 months ayear and two months at Brook

(02:37):
Army Medical Center in SanAntonio, texas.
Burn treatment, reconstructivesurgery, had my skin scraped off
razor blades.
They had to get theburn-charred skin off or I would
have died of infection Terribleprocess called debridement.
But they have to do it to keepyou alive.
And while I was there just togive you the short version I met
a guy who was a Vietnam veteran, who was injured in Vietnam,

(02:59):
and he came and gave a speechand he couldn't tell us about
pain without making us laughhysterically and it was very
healing, and so I met himafterwards.
We ended up hitting it off,becoming friends, and he
basically said Brian, I'll showyou how to do something with
your story if you're interested.
And not only did it change mylife, it changed my family tree,
because now I've been able togo all over the world speak,

(03:22):
help people, be financiallyproductive doing it and do
something meaningful with one ofthe greatest pains I've ever
been through in my life.

Carl (03:31):
Did you think, as you were , even as you're developing this
relationship with this otherindividual, did you think, or
did you believe, that thejourney would take you to?

Brian (03:39):
where you are today.
I was just hoping I couldaccomplish 10% of what that
guy's accomplished in his life.
He's built multiple companiesinternationally.
I've been speaking for probablyover 50 years now, married to
the same woman over 50 yearsvery successful life, I mean,
done very well in a lot of ways,not just in business but in his
family.
And I just thought, man, if Ican do 10% of that, because this

(04:01):
guy started in my shoes.
We were hospitalized at thesame medical center just decades
apart, and so, meeting him, itwas weird, because I never meant
to do this speaking thing, Inever meant to end up where I am
, but he believed something waspossible for me that I did not
believe it, but I didn't knowenough about it to know if I

(04:22):
could or would want to do it.
And it turns out it was exactlywhat I was made to do.

Carl (04:27):
Obviously, you knew what your story was going to be
because you had it there.
Obviously, you've been throughit.
How much work, though, did ittake in those early years to
fine-tune the messaging, tocraft that story so that it
would have impact with audiences?

Brian (04:45):
messaging, to craft that story so that it would have
impact with audiences.
The first few years was rockyin the sense that people were
asking me to come speak andoffering to pay me, but I didn't
actually know how to puttogether a real speech, the
right way and how to brandmyself.
So I'm not just this guy goingaround talking about how I got
blown up and hurt and then notrealizing like, hey, I kind of
need to steer this somewhere sothat people know why I told them

(05:07):
that story.
And so the first couple ofyears I didn't know any better.
But he really helped me outthat.
He mentored me in life.
He mentored me in speaking.
He cut five years down intoabout 12 months for me, took me
under his wing, personally,mentored me and it put me on a
lot of the stages and I'm sograteful for that.
And so I learned a lot in ashort amount of time.

(05:27):
And it's just like the militarywith your work ethic Like you
have a job to do, you go get itdone, and when it's done, what's
next?
Go get it done, what's next?
And so I was a workhorse andeverything he was telling me I
needed to put together and do.
When I learned that nobodycared about my story, but they
actually cared more about whatmy story could do for them.
That's when everything changed,Because my messaging changed,

(05:50):
my marketing messaging.
I had it framed in a way thatpeople saw it and they saw a
solution for themselves and whatthey're dealing with, not just
a guy with a story.

Carl (06:01):
So what is one of the biggest mistakes, then, that
people make when they're tryingto share their story and get
paid for it?
Is it the fact that they'recrafting it ineffectively?
What's been your experience?

Brian (06:12):
Yeah, this is going to sound counterintuitive, but one
of the biggest mistakes newspeakers make is that they talk
about themselves.
Now again, that doesn't soundright, but when you stop talking
about people's problems, theystop listening to you.
That's something I learned fromDon Miller when I was one of
his StoryBrand certified guides,and it's absolutely true.

(06:37):
So I had to start looking atthis as not hey, I'm Brian and I
got blown up.
I have an inspirational story.
Yeah, there's a million peoplewith an inspirational story.
I have friends with no legs andno arms and burn 90% third
degree way worse stories,invisibly worse off than me, and
so I had to learn.
Instead of saying, hey, can Icome speak for your people?
I have an inspirational message.
Maybe going back to the military, I started saying things like

(06:59):
hey, do your service membersstruggle in their marriages
after coming home from war?
Well, I came home, you know, asa Purple Heart recipient,
injured by a suicide bomber, andI've now been married almost 19
years, happily, to the samewoman.
I married three months before Ideployed to Afghanistan.
I would love to share, if it'sof any interest, what my wife

(07:19):
and I do to have a happy,fulfilling marriage after going
to war and coming home.
See, now there's over an 85%divorce rate in the military
among first-time enlisted.
Now they're interested why Imean all of them.
Half the people in that roomhave been blown up or know
someone who has.
It's like you're preaching to achoir, but I'm talking about a
solution they're looking for.

(07:40):
I do the same thing with youknow I can talk on PTSD
resilience.
That's why they hire me.
The military, at least, hasbeen those topics, so I had to
reframe it.

Carl (07:50):
You have a very hard-hitting story.
It's earth-changing,earth-shattering in a lot of
ways, and not everyone has astory like that.
But does somebody need to havean extreme life story to make it
as a speaker and share theirstory on stage?

Brian (08:04):
life story to make it as a speaker and share their story
on stage?
No, and if you look at mosthighly, highly, highly
successful public speakers,you'll find that most of them do
not have some sort of extremelife story.
Yeah, everyone has a story.
But if you're talking gettinginjured by a suicide bomber or
getting your arm bit off by ashark, like Bethany Hamilton,
most highly successful speakersdon't have that.
But the one thing they all havein common is they're addressing

(08:27):
a problem that a group ofpeople has and they're bringing
a solution, their version of asolution that can help those
people take next steps andbecome better in some way that
they want to.
They're looking at that groupand saying what is the problem
this group has?
They know, they have it andthey hate it.
It's the thorn in the side andsomebody is dumping salt in the

(08:47):
wound every day and they look,they want to get that thorn out
and close that wound to be done.
Well, when you talk to that,when you speak that language and
you just use your story more asa, you know like hey, your
story only matters in a speechbecause it's how you.
It lets people know that youunderstand them.
It lets them know I'm like youand I know what I'm talking

(09:07):
about and here's why I'mcredible.
Like those are the two thingsin a speech that your personal
story, the part of the speechthat is your story, that's what
that's there for to accomplish.

Carl (09:18):
You definitely hit on the point there that the pain points
are very important.
And being able to hit on thosepain points not just the pain
points but the solution to thosepain points and leverage the
story and also, I guess, as partof the leveraging of your story
is also showing some empathy.
It's the I understand I've beenin your shoes, even though you

(09:40):
might not say that, becausewe've heard speakers say that
many times.
It's probably one of the worstthings they can say, but letting
the audience know that, hey, Iget where you're coming from.
I totally get where you'recoming from.

Brian (09:50):
There's two questions when somebody's speaking that
the audience is asking andsometimes they don't even know
they're asking it, but it's.
Why does this person understandme?
Like, why are they like me?
And why should I listen to thisperson?
Like, what have you done?
What have you accomplished orovercome that?
I should take your adviceBecause you know there's so much
misinformation, bad advice outthere that you want to know.

(10:13):
Like if I get up and say, look,I have a story, much like you
have a story and I know whatit's like to struggle to figure
out how to share your storythrough public speaking.
You know going through all thosestruggles and not getting the
callbacks and getting a bunch ofno's and wondering if your
story even matters.
I know what that's like.
But over the past 17 years I'vespoken to over half a million

(10:35):
people in live audiences andI've spoken for dozens of the
Fortune 500.
I've been booked and paid tospeak to do that and you can go
online and look at the picturesand video of me doing it.
I just accomplished connectionthey understand I'm like them
and credibility.
I know what the hell I'mtalking about because I've done
it and if you want to go Googleme, you can see speaking
pictures and videos clear backto 2008, 2009.

(10:57):
I'm not one of these guys whopopped up like a year and a half
ago because I got a marketingteam around me and some
copywriters and just appearedout of nowhere and I can create
this identity as if I wassomething I'm not.
I don't trust anyone whodoesn't have internet history in
what they're teaching.

Carl (11:12):
For sure, for sure, 100%.
At some point along thisjourney too, you've made the
transition or added to yourstages podcasting as well.
I consider a podcast to be avirtual stage.
It's an opportunity for peopleto still get to know you.
Maybe they can't connect withyou on a physical stage, but hey
, a podcast is a virtualplatform.

(11:32):
At what point did you make thatjump to start guesting on
podcasts, and what made you takethat leap?

Brian (11:39):
Being on podcasts.
I've been on podcasts and newsnetworks for years, but more
recently, this past year, weended up finding Podmatch, which
I know you probably have a oh,your link probably in your show
notes and people should go checkthat out.
But we ran across that and Ithought, hey, why not just
really go hard on that,especially for the days I'm not
booked to speak flying aroundthe country, and we can reach

(12:02):
people that way and help?
You know podcast hosts likeyourself with, you know, a good
professional guest appearancethat's relevant and that their
people might want.
And so we found that and, yeah,that's been a great resource
and that's how you and Iconnected.

Carl (12:15):
And you know what I keep saying that Alex needs to start
paying me a royalty the numberof times that I mentioned his
name and the platform, Podmatchfor the phenomenal things that
it does and the connections thatit makes.
You're right we would not haveconnected today or it would have
been a longer journey for us toconnect if it hadn't been for
PodMatch.
So a very positive experience.

(12:39):
A very positive experiencegetting on shows and using the
PodMatch platform.
Precarious experiences anyshows without identifying who
the show is.
That jumped out at you andmaybe made you think twice about
getting on a podcast episodeagain.
Anything weird happen as aguest that you want to share.

Brian (12:52):
Not really Honestly.
Through that service I've hadpretty good experiences.
I think I've been on probably60 podcasts in the past two to
three months.
Nice, about one a day, Mondaythrough Friday, and my assistant
she books all of them for meand helps with that, make sure
that I'm in the right place atthe right time when it comes
time, but like right now.
But no, I've had pretty stellarexperiences, to be honest.

Carl (13:14):
And now you're recently started your own podcast.
You're a few episodes in, aboutsix episodes in.
I think you said at therecording of this podcast How's
that journey going for you andwhat led you to starting your
own show.

Brian (13:29):
Yeah, Led me to host my own show, was talking to people
like yourself.
And afterwards, after so manyof you, at the end we'd hit
record off.
They'd say, Brian, why don'tyou have your own?
And it's more like I justhaven't gotten around to it.
I like the idea.
It's like how much extra workis it really going to be All
that?
I decided just one day to justpull the trigger and I thought,

(13:51):
all right.
My biggest credibility with mystory is overcoming really hard
stuff in life resilience.
That's what I've been speakingon for 17 years.
So I thought why not justinterview a bunch of people like
me, people who've been throughdevastating life circumstances.
They're willing to talk aboutit and then the lessons they
learned that helped them getthrough it, and so that people

(14:12):
who are listening, they can takethose life lessons and apply
them to themselves and thebattle they're facing and
hopefully do better.
And my podcast is called DearGod, WTF, Because if you've ever
been through something reallyhard in life, you've probably
looked up at the sky, threw yourhands in the air and say God,
what the fuck?
I mean everything's fallingapart.

(14:33):
And so it's called Dear God,WTF.
And it's people from a widevariety of life experiences
who've just been through theworst things you can imagine,
and they've made it through whenother people didn't, and so I
talked to them and I asked themabout their mentality and their
circumstances and how they gotthrough things.
And it's incredible what Istill learn from people with as

(14:55):
much as I know about resilienceand the study of it and living
it.
I learned something new everytime, and it's sometimes you'll
hear a hundred pieces of badadvice, but, man, that 101st
piece was worth low crawlingthrough all that muck of bad
advice because that one thingthat one person said, man, that
was like the key you werelooking for.

Carl (15:15):
So many great stories out there too, and and so many
examples of how people haverisen out of the ashes, as it
were.
You know been the risingPhoenix and I'm excited, so I'll
make sure that that link getsshared in the show notes so
people can definitely check outthat.
And congratulations on jumpingon the podcast bandwagon.
Thank you.
Obviously you've been guestingand very successful at it.

(15:37):
I'm blessed to have you as afellow podcaster in our
expanding community.
Shall we say it's gettingbigger.
Everyone says podcasting isgoing away.
I'm like, no, it isn't, it'snot going anywhere.
No, no, no, no, it's not goingaway.

Brian (15:47):
I'm like no, it isn't.

Carl (15:48):
It's not going anywhere, it's growing exponentially,
especially with people like you,who have a very powerful story
to share and want to bring tothe fold the stories of other
people, to empower audiences todo great things with their lives
and share their own stories.
I want to talk about this,though.
You say there are three bigthings or three keys to sharing

(16:11):
your story effectively andgetting paid to do it.
I think that's the main thing.
There are a lot of people whowant to be speakers, and a lot
of people will spend theirentire lives speaking for free,
but they really want to be paid.
What are some of those threekeys, though?
If they want to be paid to be aspeaker?

Brian (16:28):
Yeah, well, I say it's problem, promote and present.
Three Ps make it easy toremember Problem, promote,
present.
And we already touched on thefirst thing.
Really, you need to positionyour story from a place of value
so that when the right peoplehear it, they say we need that
person.
And the way you do that is youposition your story as a

(16:50):
solution to a problem that theyknow they have and they don't
like it and they want it to goaway.
We had touched on that brieflyand again.
People who booked me to speakwhether it's a small business,
convention or associationconference or Bank of America
they are hiring me and they arewilling to pay money to have me
speak because I think I can.

(17:10):
They think they think I cansolve a problem or help them
solve a problem.
Okay, people pay money to solveproblems.
The other day I was at thestore.
I saw a KitKat right there andI love KitKats in the checkout
aisle and I thought you knowwhat?
That's two bucks.
So I grabbed it, threw it up onthe belt, bought it.

(17:30):
Kit Kat, that company, nestle,whoever makes it.
They solved a problem.
I wanted a Kit Kat and I didn'thave one.
That was the problem.
So I exchanged money for thesolution.
I want that, Kit Kat, verysimple, but it's the same exact
thing I talked about speakingfor the military.
Same thing when I say, hey, Ican help your soldiers and

(17:51):
service members battle and bemore successful in getting rid
of a lot of the post traumaticstress after coming home.
And I'm going to show them howI did it and my buddies have
done it, and I wrote a book onit called redeployed.
I'm literally speaking to aproblem that is causing suicides
and all kinds of issues withinthe military ranks.
So I'm addressing a problem andthe next thing you have to do

(18:14):
is promote, meaning that'smarketing.
You have to go all right whereare these groups of people?
Once you decide the problemthat you want to talk about
which is usually a problemyou've overcome yourself in a
lot of cases list out groups ofpeople and where are these
groups?
Who are these groups?
Who's in charge of these groups?
Approach them and just ask themif they deal with the problem.

(18:35):
Don't ask them to book you.
Like that's like going on afirst date and proposing
marriage.
Like you just go in and say,hey, do your people deal with
this?
You ever deal with thatEventually they start going.
Yeah, we deal with all this.
Why do you ask, you know, orcan you help us and go?
As a matter of fact, I have aspeech, I give you know, I have
some training, and then thethird piece is present

(19:18):
no-transcript agency talentagency or are you doing this
promotion yourself?
The answer is yes, so you'redoing both.
Okay, so we've always done itin-house, through my office.
But I am represented by anumber of speakers bureaus at

(19:39):
this point which for the firstnine or 10 years I wasn't, and
they don't even bring me themajority of my business, but
they do bring me.
Every now and then there'sthings that they bring me and
they take a cut of it, but youknow, I'm totally fine with that
because they're bringing mebusiness that I never would have
had otherwise anyway and it'sgreat.
In addition to that, when otherorganizations want to book you

(20:02):
and they say you're representedby people like Premier Speakers
Bureau and All AmericanEntertainment and all these
other bureaus that are in thespeaking industry very well
known, that legitimate factor inthe head goes okay, he's, okay,
they get on there, they can seeit, they can see the fees you
get.
That's the legitimacy in theirmind.
Because a meeting planner,their worst fear is booking a
bad speaker, you're going to saysomething stupid, you're going

(20:23):
to bore the audience, you'regoing to make them look bad and
get them fired.
So they're like I just want agood speaker who won't get me
fired.
Just don't bomb, please, forthe love of God, with every
speaker they hire.

Carl (20:39):
So you need to put their minds at ease.
I do like, though, how youmentioned that for the first
nine years you were doing this,you were not represented by a
speaker's bureau, that you weredoing this yourself, and even
though you are represented by aspeaker's bureau now, that's not
the bulk of the income thatyou're getting from speaking,
because I think there's thispreconceived notion, especially
for new speakers, that they needto have a bureau behind them

(20:59):
and that the bureau only givesthem so much leverage, but it's
not the be all end all if you'relooking to really get your
story out there.

Brian (21:07):
Well, here's the thing about bureaus To get in, you
kind of have to be in or kind ofknow somebody already.
I got recommended by a Navy SEALbuddy of mine who I was I
happened to be on a TV show withand I met him and he
recommended me.
speakers bureaus generallyaren't very interested in you
until you don't need themanymore, because what they want
to do is say, oh, you'reconsistent, you've got bookings,

(21:30):
hey, let us come alongside you,handle all the details so you
can just show up and speak anddo your thing and we'll do
everything, all the work for you.
And I love working with them.
I have no problem giving 25% ofa fee, because they also have
existing longstanding clientsthey have history with, who
often have bigger budgets that Iwould have had to work into.
I mean, they're basicallyhanding me free money if I'll

(21:53):
just show up and not bomb so,and I developed those
relationships and I do my bestto maintain those.
But they have thousands ofpeople too, though, on the
rosters.
You know they're a business,they're looking to make money.

Carl (22:05):
Yeah for sure.
Well, firstly, I want to takethis opportunity to say
congratulations on where thisjourney has taken you from
traumatic experiencelife-altering to speaker and a
journey within that to podcastguests, to podcast hosts.
You're still out there everysingle day inspiring audiences.
If someone listening to thisright now wants to start a

(22:27):
profitable side hustle sharingtheir story as a public speaker,
what can you do to get themstarted right now?

Brian (22:33):
If you want to know how to share your story like I've
done.
Maybe you're just thinking Ihave no idea where to begin.
Who even cares about my story,or would?
Where do I even start?
I have no idea.
Go to useyourstory.
com, because what I have thereis a free resource called the
free Share your Story Roadmap.
This is a one-page PDF andabout a 14-minute video

(22:54):
accompanying it, and I'm'm gonnashow you how to make your first
$500 speaking in the next 30days.
If you will just do what itsays, you will make $500 or more
sharing your story in the next30 days.
Things are easy when you knowhow they're done.
Things are hard when you don'tknow a process.
I mentioned the $500 thingbecause, like I said earlier, if

(23:15):
you can't be financiallyproductive doing something you
care about, you're passionateabout, you're not going to be
doing it very long.
It's the grease on the machinethat makes the world work.
It's money, and so there's alot of money in speaking, and I
don't do it for the money.
It's great to have it, though,but it's because it makes
everything else possible.
It's the tool, and so, yeah, gocheck out userstory.
com, grab that free share yourstory roadmap, and I'll show you

(23:37):
how to make a difference, andyour first $500 speaking.

Carl (23:41):
That's a phenomenal offer.
Thank you so much, Brian.
We'll make sure that is in theshow notes.
The link to your new podcastWe'll make sure that's there as
well.
And your social connections sopeople want to if they want to
follow you and connect and learnmore from you.
All of that will be listed aswell.
We could probably spend thenext hour and a half doing
nothing but talking about storyand strategy, which is probably

(24:03):
a good reason to bring you backat some point, I think, to the
show.
But before I let you go toeither get on another stage or
share your story and change thelives of others, today I want to
give you the opportunity toshare the final thought.

Brian (24:17):
Our stories have the power to transform our world.
People relate to stories, werelate to each other through
stories, and your story has morepower than you could ever
possibly imagine, and your storymatters.

Carl (24:32):
We'll leave it right there .
Brian Fleming, thank you somuch for being my guest today.
Hey, thanks for having me andthank you for joining us today.
Special thanks to our producerand production Dom Carillo, our
music guru, Nathan Simon, andthe person who works the arms
all of our arms, actually mytrusty assistant, Stephanie
Gafoor.
If you like what you heardtoday, leave us a comment and a

(24:53):
review, and be sure to share itwith your friends.
If you don't like what youheard, please share it with your
enemies.
Oh, and if you have asuggestion of someone who you
think would make an amazingguest on the show, let us know
about it.
Drop us an email askcarl@carlspeaks.
ca.
Don't forget to follow us onLinkedIn and Twitter as well.
You'll find all those links inthe show notes, and if you're

(25:14):
ready to take the plunge andjoin the over 3 million people
who have said yes to podcasting,let's have a conversation.
We'll show you the simplest wayto get into the podcasting
space because, after all, we'rePodcast Solutions Made Simple.
We'll catch you next time.
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