January 14, 2025 • 29 mins
Acclaimed author and influence strategist EksAyn Anderson shares his journey from real estate professional to renowned speaker and author, unveiling the secrets behind his successful transition. Learn how EksAyn's book, "The Key to the Gate," catapulted him into the spotlight, earning recognition on prestigious platforms like Forbes. This conversation highlights the universal principles of influence and trust-building that EksAyn has mastered, offering invaluable insights into applying these lessons in various areas of life.
Explore the art of surpassing expectations with EksAyn as we draw parallels between podcasting, sales, and personal relationships. Discover the critical role content delivery and personal connections play in engaging an audience and decision-makers alike. EksAyn shares powerful anecdotes, such as a simple act of gratitude that led to unexpected opportunities, demonstrating how combining digital efforts with direct communication can open doors to success.
Delving into timeless principles like the golden rule and the law of the harvest, EksAyn provides a refreshing perspective on achieving true influence. Understand the patience and dedication required to cultivate genuine relationships, dismantling the myth of "overnight success" with examples from figures like Joe Rogan and Oprah Winfrey. Tune in to grasp the essence of influencing with love, making humble and consistent decisions, and nurturing authentic connections.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carl Richards (00:00):
And our guest today is EksAyn Anderson.
He's an author, influencestrategist and speaker.
He's been seen on Forbes.
com Speaker Magazine, tv andvarious business blogs and
podcasts.
His new book, the Key to theGate Principles and Techniques
to Get Past Gatekeepers to theDecision Maker, has sold
(00:20):
internationally.
Exane has extensive sellingexperience, including selling to
governments, which he's goingto talk about in our
conversation today associationsand other businesses as well.
Now, his educational backgroundin psychology and life
experiences has taught him notonly how to connect, communicate
and sell, but also how to teachyou and your team to increase
your sales, but also how toteach you and your team to
(00:42):
increase your sales, negotiatewith the best and create a loyal
, long-term client probably morethan one along the way.
He's also a sought-afterpodcast guest.
We are so glad he's here today.
Ex-sane or Ex, if we canshorten it Welcome to the
podcast.
EksAyn Anderson (00:59):
Thanks, Carl.
Thanks for having me on theshow.
What an honor to be here withyou.
Carl Richards (01:04):
I am so thrilled you are here, my friend,
speaking on influence today.
How did you get to where youare, not like from the womb
let's not go that far back buttell us a little bit about your
journey.
How did you get into this placewhere you can talk about and be
the expert when it comes toinfluence?
EksAyn Anderson (01:15):
Well, it was really interesting.
You know, one time I wasdriving home and I had this
clear thought that I needed tospeak to people.
And I didn't know how to speakto people.
In fact, I was doing realestate at the time and I thought
this is interesting, I feellike I need to do this, but I
don't know what to do.
And I went down to a chapter ofthe National Speakers
Association and there was a ladythere who'd been there for many
years and she said well, whatdo you know?
(01:35):
And I said well, I've sold somehouses.
She said well, you should godown to the and see if you can
get a class approved so you canteach real estate CE.
So, because you need to getsome paid speeches on your belt,
so I said OK.
So I went down, I came up withthis class and it was an hour
long and I turned it in and theyapproved it and I thought this
is great.
So I called up a few realestate associations and asked
(01:56):
them if I could teach the classand one of them said yeah, we'll
pay $100 to teach the class.
I was thrilled that much 100bucks for an hour class.
It kind of went on and on whereI did this class, I realized I
had more content after a whileand I'd clear to a three-hour
class and then eventually to asix-hour class and I got it
approved in multiple statesthroughout the country.
(02:16):
Eventually, a major provider ofthe real estate continuing
education bought theasynchronous rights to my class.
That was down the road, but asthis went on, I was talking to
the same girl and she said youknow what, if you really want to
speak, if you really want to dothings, you probably need to
write a book.
And so I decided to write abook about some experience that
I've had about how to get pastgatekeepers to a decision maker.
And it was really lucky becausethere was a lady on Forbes who
(02:40):
picked it up.
And the reason she picked it upis because she said wow, you
actually got an appointment withme using the same strategies
you used in your book and Iactually didn't mind the way you
did it.
And so she wrote this articleon Forbes about how I got to her
using the tactics that I wroteabout in my book.
So it was really kind of afortuitous thing that allowed me
to get a little TV interview,allowed me to do more, speaking
(03:01):
in different places, so I'vebeen able to speak everywhere,
from Maine to California, even alittle internationally.
Now I've been able to share someof the lessons that I've
learned in real world influence,which is, you know, how do we,
how do we influence others?
You know, not just in sales, itcould be in any venue, in
podcasting, and in in ourfamilies and our relationships
(03:21):
with people we love.
And that's something that I'vebecome pretty passionate about
is how do we build trust and andtruly influence on an
interpersonal level?
Great question, carl.
Thank you.
Carl Richards (03:29):
You have hit on so many nuggets there, uh, xane.
So thank you so much for the,the, the dive, or the, the view
into to you and how you got here.
I like how you shared that this, this journey through speaking
and into influence, it didn'tjust happen overnight, it's not
like you know.
You just woke up one morningand said, hey, here I am, world,
I've arrived Like there was a,there was a journey, there was a
(03:51):
process that you took to getthere, and that's very important
when you're, when you'relooking at the, the journey or
or or, how do you build thattrust to get to the point where
you can get in front of thedecision maker?
EksAyn Anderson (04:09):
Well, and it?
Well.
It's a great question.
And back to building trust.
Like you said, let's take onestep at a time here.
One of the things that I'mreally passionate about is
principles, and let me tell youwhat I mean when I say principle
.
A principle is something that'sbigger than me, it's bigger
than you, it's bigger than allof us, and it's something that's
really, really real, whetheryou believe it is or not.
So let me give you an example.
There's the scientificprinciple of gravity.
(04:30):
Gravity works where I'm at, itworks where you're at, it works
on the other side of the world,it works everywhere.
I mean, in fact, it even worksin space.
I mean it keeps the moon goingaround the earth, it keeps the
earth going around the sun.
Millions and millions of milesaway, there are clusters of
galaxies.
They're spinning around in thiscluster, held together by
gravity.
I mean gravity is everywhere.
I mean I didn't invent gravity,you didn't invent gravity, and
so you and I have a couple ofchoices when we encounter a
(04:53):
principle, and the choices are Ican either align with it and
respect it, or I can ignore itto my peril.
Let me give you an example.
Sometimes, when I'm speaking topeople, I'll ask people.
I'll ask kind of a fun questionand say, hey, how could you
align with gravity to make youmoney?
And I'll listen to the answers.
Let me tell you some of theanswers.
You could build a ski resort.
In other words, people come,you know, I was in Vail,
(05:14):
colorado a while ago.
In Vail, people go to Vail toski, so they've actually, you
know, people get there, they getto the place and they take this
ride up the lift and then theyhave this thrilling experience
being pulled down the mountainby gravity.
So you could say that thepeople in Vail, colorado, they
make millions of dollarsaligning with the principle of
gravity.
Let me tell you the otherthings I've heard.
(05:35):
You could build a hydroelectricdam.
You could do a bungee jumpingcompany.
You could do a skydivingcompany.
Somebody once said they raisedtheir hand in one of my
workshops and they said plasticsurgery, which we won't go there
.
But you could probably come upwith a hundred different ways, a
couple hundred different waysto make money with gravity.
But what happens if you ignoredgravity?
And the answer is you could die, you could fall off a cliff,
(05:58):
you could be injured, and sogravity is right.
It's just here.
Gravity is everywhere.
We can either align with it andbuild a hydroelectric dam or
ski resort and make millions ofdollars, or gravity could injure
us and kill us.
In human relations, carl, inlife, in relationships, there
are principles, I believe, thatare just as real as gravity.
(06:21):
When we're trying to influencesomeone, when we're trying to
build trust with the podcast,when we're trying to, there are,
there are.
There are principles that arejust as real and we have a
choice we can align with them orwe can ignore them to our peril
, and they're bigger than us, sowe don't get to choose what
they are.
I mean, can you imagine someonesaying you know, sometimes when
I say principles, people thinkI'm talking about well, I have
(06:42):
my principles and they work forme, and you have your principles
and those work for you.
Those are not the type ofprinciples we're talking about.
I would call those values more.
And can you imagine someonesaying you know, gravity might
work for you, but gravitydoesn't really work for me?
I mean that same person couldgo to the edge of the cliff and
say I believe I can fly and jumpoff and say I believe I can fly
and jump off, and what takesover?
The principle of gravity.
I mean, this is the importantthing Principles control our
(07:08):
consequences.
We can choose to do whatever wewant, but we do not control the
consequence.
Principles do.
And so when you talked abouttrust, I'm going to lead into
trust.
This is a long answer.
If I am not being honest withpeople, if I'm honest, that's a
principle as real as gravity IfI'm honest, I can build trust.
If I'm dishonest, I'm sorry,it's like ignoring gravity
You're going to fall off thecliff.
Hard truth, that's the truth,right, I mean and some people in
(07:30):
sales think they can bedishonest I'm telling you, if
you want to be good in sales,you want to be good in podcasts,
you want to be good, influenceyou got to build, you got to be
able to walk your talk and buildtrust.
So that was kind of a longanswer, but one of the things
that's really important is tofigure out what the principles
are, because if you do, you canalign with them, and then you
have these massive forcespushing you to success, pushing
you to be more influential,pushing you to have a better
(07:52):
podcast or a better relationshipor be able to get in front of
that decision maker, rather thanignoring it and thinking, hey,
why am I not getting the resultsI want?
You got to have the principlespushing you like a ski resort,
pushes the people down the hilland makes the money, rather than
, hey, I'm going to fall off acliff and die here in a second
because I'm ignoring it.
Carl Richards (08:08):
I love the answer and I'm okay if you, you know
it's okay to take a breath.
Now there's a couple of thingsthat I want to unbundle there.
Number one is the principle ofgravity.
You're right, I mean, there'sno denying it, and even I mean,
especially the bungee jumpingcompany.
They need to be extra sure thatthey're aware of gravity.
You know they take into accounthow long is the bungee cord,
(08:30):
for example.
You know what's the, you knowthere's a lot of things at play
there, but then there's also,like you've said, there's these
principles, gravity beingobviously the one that you
mentioned there.
Are there any other, any basicprinciples that come to your
mind or that you're, as you'vebeen engaging with people or
teaching them that they reallyneed to consider as they're
(08:52):
getting into this influencespace?
EksAyn Anderson (08:53):
So the first one you said is really that we
talked about right here we needto walk our talk.
There were some studies donethat showed that in businesses
when managers walk their talk itactually increases the
profitability by 13%, where theemployees perceive that the
manager's actually doing whatthey say they're going to do.
So the trust thing is really,really huge.
How do we walk our talk?
(09:13):
How do we keep our word?
If we say we're going to dosomething, we're going to do it,
but then there's a second piece, there's a layer on top of that
.
If we have trust.
Let me tell you one more thinghere.
I have this auto mechanic and Iknow we're talking about
podcasting here, but theprinciple is the same.
Let me tell you this I had acar many years ago.
I had this problem with my carand I took it down to a mechanic
and the mechanic told me itwould cost $1,500.
(09:35):
There was something about theinteraction with him where I
could sense that I felt like Iwanted to get another opinion.
I took the car, happened tofind this guy down the street
from where I was working at thetime and he took one look at my
car and he said I can fix it for10 bucks, 10.
The other guy told me 1500.
This guy told me 10 bucks,which nobody ever tells you for
a car, right, 10 bucks.
Anyway, I took my car and hefixed the car.
(09:55):
I gave him 10 bucks.
My car worked great Well.
I brought it back again.
This time I had another problemwith the car later down the
road with the family car and Ibrought it in, and this time it
cost much more than that.
But I ended up bringing it tothis guy and here's the thing
that would happen with him.
Now, before I go further, Iwant you to know that this guy,
I found out later, has 75 starreviews.
(10:17):
I know he doesn't ask for them,five-star reviews.
Almost all of them are abouttrust, like 46 out of 70, I
looked at them are about honesty, fairness, trust.
But the next thing that wasreally interesting with him and
this is what he does is he'dtell you that he'd have the car
done by 5 pm, but then he'd callyou up at noon and say, hey,
it's already done.
He'd tell you, hey, I thinkit's going to be about 500 bucks
(10:38):
, and then when you get there topay for it, he goes.
You know, I found a coupon it'sonly 420.
And so what he was always doingis he was under promising and
over delivering.
In life we have what are calledexpectations If reality comes in
lower than what we expect.
This distance between the twois called frustration, and a lot
of people make people reallyfrustrated because they set an
expectation and the and butreality comes in lower.
(11:01):
But somehow, mike, thismechanic he was able to set an
expect.
He'd make reality better thanyou expect.
So he's going to be 500 bucks,but when you show up it's only
four, 20, or it's going to bedone by five.
But he call you at noon.
It's already done.
He was able to make realitybetter than you expect, and then
it's not frustration, it'sactually delight.
How can you do that as apodcaster?
It's actually delight.
How can you do that as apodcaster?
I mean, there might be ahundred different ways.
(11:21):
How can you make people'sexpectations when they listen to
your podcast or when you'retrying to influence them, better
than they expect?
And that's a principle thatworks in sales.
It works in trying to get todecision makers we can talk
about that.
It works with your spouse, withyour children, like, how do we
make people not frustrated withus, but delighted, and the way
(11:42):
we do that is by managingexpectations.
Carl Richards (11:44):
That's a great analogy and I want to know what
the other guy was thinking whenhe said $1,500.
I know what he was thinking hewanted the money right, or he
just wasn't a very swiftmechanic.
It just needed a bolt orsomething.
But I think you're right whenit comes to podcasters, because
I think that the the key there.
There's many keys, and I don'twant to go down this rabbit hole
(12:06):
, but, but there's, there's somekeys there.
It's in the content, it's in thedelivery, it's in the, it's in
the call to action, it's in allof those things that are in the
podcast episode.
And, and I'm assuming that whenyou get into you get into
wanting to get in front of theperson how do you engage the
person who is the?
How do you get in front of thedecision maker?
I do want you to talk aboutthat, because I think that this
(12:27):
is a piece that is very relevantto podcasters and it goes to
their content, their delivery,their, whatever it is.
So it's very relevant in thepodcasting space.
So how do you, again, withoutgiving away your best stuff,
what are some of the things thatpeople need to be aware when
they, when they're trying to getin front of the decision maker?
EksAyn Anderson (12:46):
I got to tell you a short story before I tell
you how I got in front of this,to tell you how I what happened
here.
I was at a bank once, carl andmy I had a problem with my
account, and I'll tell you.
The problem with my account wasthat I didn't put money in the
account when I should have putmoney in the account.
Okay, then this was many yearsago.
I was a little embarrassed.
I went down to this bank and Isaid you know, I made this
(13:07):
mistake.
By the way, I had a bunch ofoverdraft fees, and this was
back in the days when you had togo to the bank more than you.
You know, a lot of times youcan do things from your phone
now.
But I went there and there wasa guy we'll call him Jeff who
helped me fix this problem withmy account.
Well, he waived a bunch of thefees.
I put the money in like Ishould have before, and now I
went from being in the red tothe black.
Well, when he was done, Ilooked at Jeff and I said hey,
(13:37):
jeff, can I get the email toyour boss?
And he looked at me kind offunny like why do you want the
email to my boss and Mr BranchManager.
I'm writing this to Jeff's boss.
I had the opportunity ofspeaking with Jeff.
He was very professional andhelpful.
I think Jeff deserves a raiseand a promotion.
And I sent it to Jeff's boss.
I copied Jeff on the email sohe knew I was doing it and I
(13:57):
didn't think anything else aboutit.
I thought he did something nicefor me.
I'm going to do something nicefor him.
Well, here's the interestingthing.
I went back to that same bankand again, this is back in the
days when you had, you know,there was more people go to the
bank.
I was standing in line, therewas probably 10 people in line,
and something happened that hadnever happened to me before.
(14:19):
Somebody came up to know eachother's names.
I mean, sometimes in smalltowns everybody knows each
other's name.
But in this situation I wassurprised.
He said, mr Andrews.
I said yes, and he said can Ihelp you with your banking?
And I said well, sure, and Iwas kind of surprised.
He took me from the back of theline.
He let me do my banking infront of everybody else.
You would have thought, carl,that I had $10 million in the
bank, which we all know that Ididn't.
(14:40):
So why did that happen?
And I'll ask people.
Let's say well, maybe Jeff didget a raise, or maybe Jeff
talked about you in the breakroom or something.
The truth is I don't know, butI do know that I wasn't treated
like a king before that, butafter I wrote that letter to
Jeff's boss, I got treated likea king.
Well, fast forward several years.
I'm sitting in New York andthis high-level director I'm
(15:01):
sitting across this table from ahigh-level director in New York
, and he looks at me and he sayssomething that completely
surprised me.
He said you are the onlysalesperson I've ever led into
my office.
Now, to be fair, he might'vemeant about the particular
product that I was selling.
That's not what he said, thoughhe said you're the only
salesperson I've led into myoffice.
And then he said something thatwas really, really interesting,
(15:21):
carl, and I won't tell youquite yet what he said.
But what did I do to get intothis high-level director in New
York?
Well, I'll tell you.
I'll answer my question if youwant.
Is that okay, carl?
Carl Richards (15:34):
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
EksAyn Anderson (15:36):
So it was almost the same thing I did at
the bank.
This is what happened.
I called in to talk to thishigh level director.
I actually sent him an emailfirst and I was completely
ignored.
By the way, if all you're doingis sending emails, get ready to
be ignored a lot.
You got to be brave enough tomake a phone call and get on the
phone, and I'm guessing themost podcasters on your show
here I mean, if they're braveenough to be podcasters and put
themselves out there online,they probably can make a phone
(15:57):
call.
But if you're afraid of it, youmight want to do that.
But I called in maybe a week orso after I'd sent this email and
of course, his secretaryanswered the phone.
I call them gatekeepers.
His gatekeeper secretaryanswered the phone.
I said hey, can I speak withBob?
And she said he's unavailable.
By the way, that's what theyalways say.
They're always unavailable.
They're never available.
Every once in a while they are,but very infrequently.
(16:20):
And I started talking to her andI said you know I'd sent an
email to Bob last week.
I said do you mind if I justcopy it to you to make sure he
gets it?
And she said sure.
And then here's the thing Inoticed have you ever heard,
carl, anyone?
Have you ever heard somebody onthe phone and you can almost
hear them smiling?
I mean, even when I talk to, Ialmost hear you smiling because
you have this positive vibeabout you.
Even though I was only on thephone, I could almost hear her
(16:43):
cheerful, smiling disposition.
As we were talking I said youknow what?
I'm on the phone all day longand it is refreshing to talk to
someone as friendly andcourteous and professional as
you.
Thank you, and I was sincere, Imean I meant it 100%.
She said, well, thanks, in herkind of nice smiling way, right,
and I was pulling up the emailand she was still on the phone
with me.
I said you know what, I'm goingto mention that to your boss.
And she said thank you.
(17:03):
So I typed really fast and Isaid dear Bob, had the
opportunity of speaking withJanice.
She was very professional andcourteous.
I think she's an asset to yourteam by the way, I'm going to be
in New York in these days and Isent the email to her boss, bob
Janice, and I said hey, didthat email come through?
There was a little pause andshe said oh yeah, yep, it came
through.
And then there was anotherlittle pause and she said, hey,
(17:23):
thanks for the compliment.
And I said, well, I meant it.
Then thanks for being soawesome.
That was the end of theconversation, carl.
That was it, anyway.
I'm back in now.
Fast forward, I'm back in thishigh level directions office.
He said I talked to my secretarymore than I talked to my wife
and some of these sales guysdon't understand that.
(17:44):
Here's the interesting thing.
What he didn't say was you havegreat social media or you have
a great website.
He said you were nice to mysecretary.
What's the principle that gotme in there?
That's as real as gravity andI'll tell you.
I think it's the golden ruleBasically, just treating people
like you want to be treated andexpectations.
Remember we talked about thatwhere her reality came in a
(18:05):
little bit better than sheexpects.
She probably is weeding outsalespeople all day long weeding
out people all day long, but bythe end of the phone call she
actually had an email in hermailbox complimenting her to her
boss.
That was sincere.
So her reality was a little bitbetter than she expected and
she was more delighted insteadof frustrated.
If you can find ways, whenyou're trying to influence
(18:26):
people, to make their reality alittle bit better than they
expect and make sure it alignswith that timeless, ancient
principle, that's as real asgravity.
I call it the golden rule,which is just treating like
people like you want to betreated.
If you do those two things andyou do it consistently, you will
be surprised how much force andpower starts building up over
time.
And that's my really reallylong answer.
(18:46):
Thanks for listening, wow.
Carl Richards (18:48):
Well, thanks for the Ted talk.
I appreciate it, but no,seriously, I love that message
and I think that I wish more ofus were cut from that piece of
cloth.
That is the old doing to othersas you would have others doing
to you, that whole the, the, the, that whole whole adage.
But the other thing that I thatI think is relevant is I'm sure
you've experienced this in thesales world and I'm sure you've
(19:10):
you've run up against people whoneed a lesson in being just
being able to just put thebrakes on a little bit is they
want to get to the sale, get tothe influencer I hate that word
influencer Get to the decisionmaker as quickly as they can.
They don't want to plant theseeds, they don't want to reap
what they sow, they just want toget there, get it done and then
(19:32):
live happily ever after.
And I think it's partly due tothe world we're in today, where
we want that instantgratification of if I'm hungry,
I just pick up something on theway home and it's it's already
prepared for me.
I eat it, you know?
I I want something.
Um, I want to watch something.
I don't want to wait to watchit on TV, I just catch it on on
(19:53):
demand, you know so.
So we're in this place of notwanting to build the
relationship or or set the setthe table right.
Are you, are you finding thattoo?
Finding that too, in theinfluence space that people want
to sidestep or almost wreckwith the time-space continuum?
EksAyn Anderson (20:09):
Yes, and it's such an important thing to talk
about, carl.
Yes, it's a huge problem intoday's society.
For everything, everybody wantsan instant gratification.
I want it now and we're almostconditioned because we can go to
a drive-thru and pick up somefast food and get it now.
And the truth is remember, likewe talked about at the beginning
, principles govern theconsequences of our actions, so
(20:31):
we can choose to do whatever theheck we want.
But the problem is is we don'tchoose the consequence, so the
consequence is determined by theprinciple.
So we talked about gravity,which is a scientific principle.
We talked about the golden rule, which is the principle that
allowed me to get into thathigh-level director's office in
New York.
Another principle that's asreal as gravity, whether you
believe it is or not, is, I callit the law of the harvest,
(20:52):
meaning we reap what we sow.
And it does take time.
And a lot of people on theinternet, a lot of people right
now we're trying to sell thisquick fix, like if you just do
what I say, you'llinstantaneously be wealthy and
awesome overnight.
And the truth is that's notwhat governs your consequences
those, frankly, most of the timeare I'll be blunt lies.
They really are.
(21:13):
I mean, the law of the harvestsays this If I plant seeds in
the spring and if I make surethey're in the right amount of
soil, they spring.
And if I make sure they're inthe right amount of soil, they
have enough water and they haveenough sunlight and have enough
warmth, and they have enough,and I weed them and take care of
them, after many months,several months, I can harvest
whatever it is I planted.
And some people today say well,I don't want to go plant seeds
(21:33):
in the spring and take care ofthem and weed them, I just want
the instant gratification now.
And that's like.
That's like as foolish assaying I'm going to plant.
You know, all the other farmerswent and planted seeds in the
April and now it's September,october, they're trying to
harvest and I didn't.
I just took it easy all summer.
And now I want to plant seedsand just say, bro, and I talked
to a bunch of farmers out in theMidwest and they told me I said
(21:55):
can you cheat the law of theharvest?
And they laughed at me.
They said there's no way tocheat it, you've got to do it.
So realize, as a podcaster, asa someone who's trying to build
influence.
The consistent effort doingyour podcast, the consistent
effort of building trust, theconsistent effort of aligning
with principles on a on a daily,consistent basis over time, can
bring wonderful results.
(22:16):
But if you're saying, oh, Ihave to just instantaneously
have it right now, you'reignoring gravity, you're
ignoring the law of the harvest.
Carl Richards (22:22):
Yeah, you definitely can't plant seeds and
expect them to be ready toharvest and be on the dinner
table in less than four or fivedays.
You do need the time, and thisis so true, and I'm glad you're
mentioning that it's relevant inthe podcasting space, because
we see that a lot.
It's relevant in the podcastingspace because we see that a lot
(22:44):
.
We see the folks who want to bethe Joe Rogan superstar with
only 10 episodes under theirbelt and no previous experience
or celebrity status.
Let's face it, a guy like JoeRogan has that behind him.
Or Oprah Winfrey, who has that.
They've already built therelationship, the credibility,
the status whatever you want tocall it that allows them to get
into something like a podcastand be an instant, overnight
(23:05):
success.
It took them several years tobecome that instant success, but
in this example they've alreadydone the work.
So to that example.
What do you share with peopleother than slow down when
they're wanting that instantgratification and you know that
that's not the path.
What advice or what do you sayto them?
EksAyn Anderson (23:25):
Most of these people who look like instant
successes, really, if you lookat it and you saw the real truth
, they've been probably hustlingfor a decade and then they pop
out of the ground.
Everyone goes oh, they were aninstant success.
But they were more like thebamboo tree.
Have you heard about the bamboothing?
The bamboo tree?
It has these roots that go downfor a long time and you don't
(23:46):
see much.
And then all of a sudden yousee this bamboo shoot come out,
but what you didn't see was theroots growing and growing for a
long time.
And so a lot of times when wesee people and say, oh, they
were an instant success, wereally don't see the whole story
.
And most of the time you've hadpeople who were hustling and
working hard and sacrificing andputting in the time, putting in
the reps, and then later onthey have this success that
(24:07):
looks instant.
But you're exactly right, theystill didn't cheat the law of
the harvest.
It just it may appear that way.
It may appear like a bambootree that pops out of the ground
, but you don't see all the timethat those roots were going
down deep.
Carl Richards (24:23):
So great, great question.
Wow, wow.
This is a phenomenalconversation.
I think we could chat all dayabout this.
EksAyn Anderson (24:26):
I love chatting with you, Carl.
You've got a great thing you'redoing to help podcasters.
Carl Richards (24:30):
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
We probably shouldn't chat allday, though, because then I'm
doing a disservice to myaudience, so I want to give you
the opportunity to sharesomething with the audience.
What can you help with ourlisteners today that might help
them be able to get into yourhead, learn from you?
What are some things you canshare with?
EksAyn Anderson (24:51):
them.
Just one thing to say that wasbrief.
I would just say the key tosuccess is not trying to find
some newest silver bullet that'sgoing to instantly take you
there.
The key to success, in my view,would be number one be humble
enough to realize that you'renot a principal.
Number two figure out what theprinciples are that govern what
you want to go to.
What are the principles thatgovern building a successful
(25:12):
influencing business inpodcasting, what are the
principles that governrelationships or whatever it is
that you're trying to do?
And then make your dailydecisions.
Your little, tiny dailydecisions, the ones you don't
think matter, align with them.
Those little, tiny dailydecisions, over time have a huge
, huge impact.
So if you can remember to dothose three things, you're not a
principal yourself.
(25:32):
Figure out what they are andthen make your little daily
decisions.
Just focus on what you can dotoday to inch it forward and
after time you'll have a huge,huge harvest at some point is my
belief, .
Carl Richards (25:44):
Oh, we did forget to drive people to your
newsletter, which isxeksinfluencecom forward slash,
subscribe and a lot of juicyinformation in there, I'm sure.
EksAyn Anderson (25:55):
We should hope so.
The basics, but think about howto actually increase your
influence.
Carl Richards (26:01):
All right, perfect, eksinfluencecom forward
, slash, subscribe.
We'll make sure that, and allof your influence X is in the
show notes.
I'll give you one quick finalthought, if you've got one in
you before we let you go.
EksAyn Anderson (26:16):
I'll tell you this.
My mom died when I was eightand she said something before
she died many times that hit me.
She said no matter the question, love is the answer, and I know
that sounds a littleoversimplified, but if you think
about it, just loving thatsecretary is what got me into
the door in New York.
If you can truly choose to careabout people, choose to care
(26:37):
about people on your podcast,choose to care about those
people you're trying toinfluence.
That's the the most powerfulprinciple out there is just to
love people, even if you don'tfeel like it.
Just choose.
It's an action, not a, not afeeling.
Choose to care about people andwatch things happen.
Carl, you have a great show.
You're doing a great.
You're a great host.
Love been up, been on the showwith you, thank you.
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rgb(252, 252, 253);">Anderson thank you
for being the guest today mypleasure and it's an honor to be
asked to be on your show.
Thank you.
And our guest today is EksAyn Anderson.
He's an author, influencestrategist and speaker.
He's been seen on Forbes.
com Speaker Magazine, tv andvarious business blogs and
podcasts.
His new book, the Key to theGate Principles and Techniques
to Get Past Gatekeepers to theDecision Maker, has sold
(00:20):
internationally.
Exane has extensive sellingexperience, including selling to
governments, which he's goingto talk about in our
conversation today associationsand other businesses as well.
Now, his educational backgroundin psychology and life
experiences has taught him notonly how to connect, communicate
and sell, but also how to teachyou and your team to increase
your sales, but also how toteach you and your team to
(00:42):
increase your sales, negotiatewith the best and create a loyal
, long-term client probably morethan one along the way.
He's also a sought-afterpodcast guest.
We are so glad he's here today.
Ex-sane or Ex, if we canshorten it Welcome to the
podcast.
EksAyn Anderson (00:59):
Thanks, Carl.
Thanks for having me on theshow.
What an honor to be here withyou.
Carl Richards (01:04):
I am so thrilled you are here, my friend,
speaking on influence today.
How did you get to where youare, not like from the womb
let's not go that far back buttell us a little bit about your
journey.
How did you get into this placewhere you can talk about and be
the expert when it comes toinfluence?
EksAyn Anderson (01:15):
Well, it was really interesting.
You know, one time I wasdriving home and I had this
clear thought that I needed tospeak to people.
And I didn't know how to speakto people.
In fact, I was doing realestate at the time and I thought
this is interesting, I feellike I need to do this, but I
don't know what to do.
And I went down to a chapter ofthe National Speakers
Association and there was a ladythere who'd been there for many
years and she said well, whatdo you know?
(01:35):
And I said well, I've sold somehouses.
She said well, you should godown to the and see if you can
get a class approved so you canteach real estate CE.
So, because you need to getsome paid speeches on your belt,
so I said OK.
So I went down, I came up withthis class and it was an hour
long and I turned it in and theyapproved it and I thought this
is great.
So I called up a few realestate associations and asked
(01:56):
them if I could teach the classand one of them said yeah, we'll
pay $100 to teach the class.
I was thrilled that much 100bucks for an hour class.
It kind of went on and on whereI did this class, I realized I
had more content after a whileand I'd clear to a three-hour
class and then eventually to asix-hour class and I got it
approved in multiple statesthroughout the country.
(02:16):
Eventually, a major provider ofthe real estate continuing
education bought theasynchronous rights to my class.
That was down the road, but asthis went on, I was talking to
the same girl and she said youknow what, if you really want to
speak, if you really want to dothings, you probably need to
write a book.
And so I decided to write abook about some experience that
I've had about how to get pastgatekeepers to a decision maker.
And it was really lucky becausethere was a lady on Forbes who
(02:40):
picked it up.
And the reason she picked it upis because she said wow, you
actually got an appointment withme using the same strategies
you used in your book and Iactually didn't mind the way you
did it.
And so she wrote this articleon Forbes about how I got to her
using the tactics that I wroteabout in my book.
So it was really kind of afortuitous thing that allowed me
to get a little TV interview,allowed me to do more, speaking
(03:01):
in different places, so I'vebeen able to speak everywhere,
from Maine to California, even alittle internationally.
Now I've been able to share someof the lessons that I've
learned in real world influence,which is, you know, how do we,
how do we influence others?
You know, not just in sales, itcould be in any venue, in
podcasting, and in in ourfamilies and our relationships
(03:21):
with people we love.
And that's something that I'vebecome pretty passionate about
is how do we build trust and andtruly influence on an
interpersonal level?
Great question, carl.
Thank you.
Carl Richards (03:29):
You have hit on so many nuggets there, uh, xane.
So thank you so much for the,the, the dive, or the, the view
into to you and how you got here.
I like how you shared that this, this journey through speaking
and into influence, it didn'tjust happen overnight, it's not
like you know.
You just woke up one morningand said, hey, here I am, world,
I've arrived Like there was a,there was a journey, there was a
(03:51):
process that you took to getthere, and that's very important
when you're, when you'relooking at the, the journey or
or or, how do you build thattrust to get to the point where
you can get in front of thedecision maker?
EksAyn Anderson (04:09):
Well, and it?
Well.
It's a great question.
And back to building trust.
Like you said, let's take onestep at a time here.
One of the things that I'mreally passionate about is
principles, and let me tell youwhat I mean when I say principle
.
A principle is something that'sbigger than me, it's bigger
than you, it's bigger than allof us, and it's something that's
really, really real, whetheryou believe it is or not.
So let me give you an example.
There's the scientificprinciple of gravity.
(04:30):
Gravity works where I'm at, itworks where you're at, it works
on the other side of the world,it works everywhere.
I mean, in fact, it even worksin space.
I mean it keeps the moon goingaround the earth, it keeps the
earth going around the sun.
Millions and millions of milesaway, there are clusters of
galaxies.
They're spinning around in thiscluster, held together by
gravity.
I mean gravity is everywhere.
I mean I didn't invent gravity,you didn't invent gravity, and
so you and I have a couple ofchoices when we encounter a
(04:53):
principle, and the choices are Ican either align with it and
respect it, or I can ignore itto my peril.
Let me give you an example.
Sometimes, when I'm speaking topeople, I'll ask people.
I'll ask kind of a fun questionand say, hey, how could you
align with gravity to make youmoney?
And I'll listen to the answers.
Let me tell you some of theanswers.
You could build a ski resort.
In other words, people come,you know, I was in Vail,
(05:14):
colorado a while ago.
In Vail, people go to Vail toski, so they've actually, you
know, people get there, they getto the place and they take this
ride up the lift and then theyhave this thrilling experience
being pulled down the mountainby gravity.
So you could say that thepeople in Vail, colorado, they
make millions of dollarsaligning with the principle of
gravity.
Let me tell you the otherthings I've heard.
(05:35):
You could build a hydroelectricdam.
You could do a bungee jumpingcompany.
You could do a skydivingcompany.
Somebody once said they raisedtheir hand in one of my
workshops and they said plasticsurgery, which we won't go there
.
But you could probably come upwith a hundred different ways, a
couple hundred different waysto make money with gravity.
But what happens if you ignoredgravity?
And the answer is you could die, you could fall off a cliff,
(05:58):
you could be injured, and sogravity is right.
It's just here.
Gravity is everywhere.
We can either align with it andbuild a hydroelectric dam or
ski resort and make millions ofdollars, or gravity could injure
us and kill us.
In human relations, carl, inlife, in relationships, there
are principles, I believe, thatare just as real as gravity.
(06:21):
When we're trying to influencesomeone, when we're trying to
build trust with the podcast,when we're trying to, there are,
there are.
There are principles that arejust as real and we have a
choice we can align with them orwe can ignore them to our peril
, and they're bigger than us, sowe don't get to choose what
they are.
I mean, can you imagine someonesaying you know, sometimes when
I say principles, people thinkI'm talking about well, I have
(06:42):
my principles and they work forme, and you have your principles
and those work for you.
Those are not the type ofprinciples we're talking about.
I would call those values more.
And can you imagine someonesaying you know, gravity might
work for you, but gravitydoesn't really work for me?
I mean that same person couldgo to the edge of the cliff and
say I believe I can fly and jumpoff and say I believe I can fly
and jump off, and what takesover?
The principle of gravity.
I mean, this is the importantthing Principles control our
(07:08):
consequences.
We can choose to do whatever wewant, but we do not control the
consequence.
Principles do.
And so when you talked abouttrust, I'm going to lead into
trust.
This is a long answer.
If I am not being honest withpeople, if I'm honest, that's a
principle as real as gravity IfI'm honest, I can build trust.
If I'm dishonest, I'm sorry,it's like ignoring gravity
You're going to fall off thecliff.
Hard truth, that's the truth,right, I mean and some people in
(07:30):
sales think they can bedishonest I'm telling you, if
you want to be good in sales,you want to be good in podcasts,
you want to be good, influenceyou got to build, you got to be
able to walk your talk and buildtrust.
So that was kind of a longanswer, but one of the things
that's really important is tofigure out what the principles
are, because if you do, you canalign with them, and then you
have these massive forcespushing you to success, pushing
you to be more influential,pushing you to have a better
(07:52):
podcast or a better relationshipor be able to get in front of
that decision maker, rather thanignoring it and thinking, hey,
why am I not getting the resultsI want?
You got to have the principlespushing you like a ski resort,
pushes the people down the hilland makes the money, rather than
, hey, I'm going to fall off acliff and die here in a second
because I'm ignoring it.
Carl Richards (08:08):
I love the answer and I'm okay if you, you know
it's okay to take a breath.
Now there's a couple of thingsthat I want to unbundle there.
Number one is the principle ofgravity.
You're right, I mean, there'sno denying it, and even I mean,
especially the bungee jumpingcompany.
They need to be extra sure thatthey're aware of gravity.
You know they take into accounthow long is the bungee cord,
(08:30):
for example.
You know what's the, you knowthere's a lot of things at play
there, but then there's also,like you've said, there's these
principles, gravity beingobviously the one that you
mentioned there.
Are there any other, any basicprinciples that come to your
mind or that you're, as you'vebeen engaging with people or
teaching them that they reallyneed to consider as they're
(08:52):
getting into this influencespace?
EksAyn Anderson (08:53):
So the first one you said is really that we
talked about right here we needto walk our talk.
There were some studies donethat showed that in businesses
when managers walk their talk itactually increases the
profitability by 13%, where theemployees perceive that the
manager's actually doing whatthey say they're going to do.
So the trust thing is really,really huge.
How do we walk our talk?
(09:13):
How do we keep our word?
If we say we're going to dosomething, we're going to do it,
but then there's a second piece, there's a layer on top of that
.
If we have trust.
Let me tell you one more thinghere.
I have this auto mechanic and Iknow we're talking about
podcasting here, but theprinciple is the same.
Let me tell you this I had acar many years ago.
I had this problem with my carand I took it down to a mechanic
and the mechanic told me itwould cost $1,500.
(09:35):
There was something about theinteraction with him where I
could sense that I felt like Iwanted to get another opinion.
I took the car, happened tofind this guy down the street
from where I was working at thetime and he took one look at my
car and he said I can fix it for10 bucks, 10.
The other guy told me 1500.
This guy told me 10 bucks,which nobody ever tells you for
a car, right, 10 bucks.
Anyway, I took my car and hefixed the car.
(09:55):
I gave him 10 bucks.
My car worked great Well.
I brought it back again.
This time I had another problemwith the car later down the
road with the family car and Ibrought it in, and this time it
cost much more than that.
But I ended up bringing it tothis guy and here's the thing
that would happen with him.
Now, before I go further, Iwant you to know that this guy,
I found out later, has 75 starreviews.
(10:17):
I know he doesn't ask for them,five-star reviews.
Almost all of them are abouttrust, like 46 out of 70, I
looked at them are about honesty, fairness, trust.
But the next thing that wasreally interesting with him and
this is what he does is he'dtell you that he'd have the car
done by 5 pm, but then he'd callyou up at noon and say, hey,
it's already done.
He'd tell you, hey, I thinkit's going to be about 500 bucks
(10:38):
, and then when you get there topay for it, he goes.
You know, I found a coupon it'sonly 420.
And so what he was always doingis he was under promising and
over delivering.
In life we have what are calledexpectations If reality comes in
lower than what we expect.
This distance between the twois called frustration, and a lot
of people make people reallyfrustrated because they set an
expectation and the and butreality comes in lower.
(11:01):
But somehow, mike, thismechanic he was able to set an
expect.
He'd make reality better thanyou expect.
So he's going to be 500 bucks,but when you show up it's only
four, 20, or it's going to bedone by five.
But he call you at noon.
It's already done.
He was able to make realitybetter than you expect, and then
it's not frustration, it'sactually delight.
How can you do that as apodcaster?
It's actually delight.
How can you do that as apodcaster?
I mean, there might be ahundred different ways.
(11:21):
How can you make people'sexpectations when they listen to
your podcast or when you'retrying to influence them, better
than they expect?
And that's a principle thatworks in sales.
It works in trying to get todecision makers we can talk
about that.
It works with your spouse, withyour children, like, how do we
make people not frustrated withus, but delighted, and the way
(11:42):
we do that is by managingexpectations.
Carl Richards (11:44):
That's a great analogy and I want to know what
the other guy was thinking whenhe said $1,500.
I know what he was thinking hewanted the money right, or he
just wasn't a very swiftmechanic.
It just needed a bolt orsomething.
But I think you're right whenit comes to podcasters, because
I think that the the key there.
There's many keys, and I don'twant to go down this rabbit hole
(12:06):
, but, but there's, there's somekeys there.
It's in the content, it's in thedelivery, it's in the, it's in
the call to action, it's in allof those things that are in the
podcast episode.
And, and I'm assuming that whenyou get into you get into
wanting to get in front of theperson how do you engage the
person who is the?
How do you get in front of thedecision maker?
I do want you to talk aboutthat, because I think that this
(12:27):
is a piece that is very relevantto podcasters and it goes to
their content, their delivery,their, whatever it is.
So it's very relevant in thepodcasting space.
So how do you, again, withoutgiving away your best stuff,
what are some of the things thatpeople need to be aware when
they, when they're trying to getin front of the decision maker?
EksAyn Anderson (12:46):
I got to tell you a short story before I tell
you how I got in front of this,to tell you how I what happened
here.
I was at a bank once, carl andmy I had a problem with my
account, and I'll tell you.
The problem with my account wasthat I didn't put money in the
account when I should have putmoney in the account.
Okay, then this was many yearsago.
I was a little embarrassed.
I went down to this bank and Isaid you know, I made this
(13:07):
mistake.
By the way, I had a bunch ofoverdraft fees, and this was
back in the days when you had togo to the bank more than you.
You know, a lot of times youcan do things from your phone
now.
But I went there and there wasa guy we'll call him Jeff who
helped me fix this problem withmy account.
Well, he waived a bunch of thefees.
I put the money in like Ishould have before, and now I
went from being in the red tothe black.
Well, when he was done, Ilooked at Jeff and I said hey,
(13:37):
jeff, can I get the email toyour boss?
And he looked at me kind offunny like why do you want the
email to my boss and Mr BranchManager.
I'm writing this to Jeff's boss.
I had the opportunity ofspeaking with Jeff.
He was very professional andhelpful.
I think Jeff deserves a raiseand a promotion.
And I sent it to Jeff's boss.
I copied Jeff on the email sohe knew I was doing it and I
(13:57):
didn't think anything else aboutit.
I thought he did something nicefor me.
I'm going to do something nicefor him.
Well, here's the interestingthing.
I went back to that same bankand again, this is back in the
days when you had, you know,there was more people go to the
bank.
I was standing in line, therewas probably 10 people in line,
and something happened that hadnever happened to me before.
(14:19):
Somebody came up to know eachother's names.
I mean, sometimes in smalltowns everybody knows each
other's name.
But in this situation I wassurprised.
He said, mr Andrews.
I said yes, and he said can Ihelp you with your banking?
And I said well, sure, and Iwas kind of surprised.
He took me from the back of theline.
He let me do my banking infront of everybody else.
You would have thought, carl,that I had $10 million in the
bank, which we all know that Ididn't.
(14:40):
So why did that happen?
And I'll ask people.
Let's say well, maybe Jeff didget a raise, or maybe Jeff
talked about you in the breakroom or something.
The truth is I don't know, butI do know that I wasn't treated
like a king before that, butafter I wrote that letter to
Jeff's boss, I got treated likea king.
Well, fast forward several years.
I'm sitting in New York andthis high-level director I'm
(15:01):
sitting across this table from ahigh-level director in New York
, and he looks at me and he sayssomething that completely
surprised me.
He said you are the onlysalesperson I've ever led into
my office.
Now, to be fair, he might'vemeant about the particular
product that I was selling.
That's not what he said, thoughhe said you're the only
salesperson I've led into myoffice.
And then he said something thatwas really, really interesting,
(15:21):
carl, and I won't tell youquite yet what he said.
But what did I do to get intothis high-level director in New
York?
Well, I'll tell you.
I'll answer my question if youwant.
Is that okay, carl?
Carl Richards (15:34):
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
EksAyn Anderson (15:36):
So it was almost the same thing I did at
the bank.
This is what happened.
I called in to talk to thishigh level director.
I actually sent him an emailfirst and I was completely
ignored.
By the way, if all you're doingis sending emails, get ready to
be ignored a lot.
You got to be brave enough tomake a phone call and get on the
phone, and I'm guessing themost podcasters on your show
here I mean, if they're braveenough to be podcasters and put
themselves out there online,they probably can make a phone
(15:57):
call.
But if you're afraid of it, youmight want to do that.
But I called in maybe a week orso after I'd sent this email and
of course, his secretaryanswered the phone.
I call them gatekeepers.
His gatekeeper secretaryanswered the phone.
I said hey, can I speak withBob?
And she said he's unavailable.
By the way, that's what theyalways say.
They're always unavailable.
They're never available.
Every once in a while they are,but very infrequently.
(16:20):
And I started talking to her andI said you know I'd sent an
email to Bob last week.
I said do you mind if I justcopy it to you to make sure he
gets it?
And she said sure.
And then here's the thing Inoticed have you ever heard,
carl, anyone?
Have you ever heard somebody onthe phone and you can almost
hear them smiling?
I mean, even when I talk to, Ialmost hear you smiling because
you have this positive vibeabout you.
Even though I was only on thephone, I could almost hear her
(16:43):
cheerful, smiling disposition.
As we were talking I said youknow what?
I'm on the phone all day longand it is refreshing to talk to
someone as friendly andcourteous and professional as
you.
Thank you, and I was sincere, Imean I meant it 100%.
She said, well, thanks, in herkind of nice smiling way, right,
and I was pulling up the emailand she was still on the phone
with me.
I said you know what, I'm goingto mention that to your boss.
And she said thank you.
(17:03):
So I typed really fast and Isaid dear Bob, had the
opportunity of speaking withJanice.
She was very professional andcourteous.
I think she's an asset to yourteam by the way, I'm going to be
in New York in these days and Isent the email to her boss, bob
Janice, and I said hey, didthat email come through?
There was a little pause andshe said oh yeah, yep, it came
through.
And then there was anotherlittle pause and she said, hey,
(17:23):
thanks for the compliment.
And I said, well, I meant it.
Then thanks for being soawesome.
That was the end of theconversation, carl.
That was it, anyway.
I'm back in now.
Fast forward, I'm back in thishigh level directions office.
He said I talked to my secretarymore than I talked to my wife
and some of these sales guysdon't understand that.
(17:44):
Here's the interesting thing.
What he didn't say was you havegreat social media or you have
a great website.
He said you were nice to mysecretary.
What's the principle that gotme in there?
That's as real as gravity andI'll tell you.
I think it's the golden ruleBasically, just treating people
like you want to be treated andexpectations.
Remember we talked about thatwhere her reality came in a
(18:05):
little bit better than sheexpects.
She probably is weeding outsalespeople all day long weeding
out people all day long, but bythe end of the phone call she
actually had an email in hermailbox complimenting her to her
boss.
That was sincere.
So her reality was a little bitbetter than she expected and
she was more delighted insteadof frustrated.
If you can find ways, whenyou're trying to influence
(18:26):
people, to make their reality alittle bit better than they
expect and make sure it alignswith that timeless, ancient
principle, that's as real asgravity.
I call it the golden rule,which is just treating like
people like you want to betreated.
If you do those two things andyou do it consistently, you will
be surprised how much force andpower starts building up over
time.
And that's my really reallylong answer.
(18:46):
Thanks for listening, wow.
Carl Richards (18:48):
Well, thanks for the Ted talk.
I appreciate it, but no,seriously, I love that message
and I think that I wish more ofus were cut from that piece of
cloth.
That is the old doing to othersas you would have others doing
to you, that whole the, the, the, that whole whole adage.
But the other thing that I thatI think is relevant is I'm sure
you've experienced this in thesales world and I'm sure you've
(19:10):
you've run up against people whoneed a lesson in being just
being able to just put thebrakes on a little bit is they
want to get to the sale, get tothe influencer I hate that word
influencer Get to the decisionmaker as quickly as they can.
They don't want to plant theseeds, they don't want to reap
what they sow, they just want toget there, get it done and then
(19:32):
live happily ever after.
And I think it's partly due tothe world we're in today, where
we want that instantgratification of if I'm hungry,
I just pick up something on theway home and it's it's already
prepared for me.
I eat it, you know?
I I want something.
Um, I want to watch something.
I don't want to wait to watchit on TV, I just catch it on on
(19:53):
demand, you know so.
So we're in this place of notwanting to build the
relationship or or set the setthe table right.
Are you, are you finding thattoo?
Finding that too, in theinfluence space that people want
to sidestep or almost wreckwith the time-space continuum?
EksAyn Anderson (20:09):
Yes, and it's such an important thing to talk
about, carl.
Yes, it's a huge problem intoday's society.
For everything, everybody wantsan instant gratification.
I want it now and we're almostconditioned because we can go to
a drive-thru and pick up somefast food and get it now.
And the truth is remember, likewe talked about at the beginning
, principles govern theconsequences of our actions, so
(20:31):
we can choose to do whatever theheck we want.
But the problem is is we don'tchoose the consequence, so the
consequence is determined by theprinciple.
So we talked about gravity,which is a scientific principle.
We talked about the golden rule, which is the principle that
allowed me to get into thathigh-level director's office in
New York.
Another principle that's asreal as gravity, whether you
believe it is or not, is, I callit the law of the harvest,
(20:52):
meaning we reap what we sow.
And it does take time.
And a lot of people on theinternet, a lot of people right
now we're trying to sell thisquick fix, like if you just do
what I say, you'llinstantaneously be wealthy and
awesome overnight.
And the truth is that's notwhat governs your consequences
those, frankly, most of the timeare I'll be blunt lies.
They really are.
(21:13):
I mean, the law of the harvestsays this If I plant seeds in
the spring and if I make surethey're in the right amount of
soil, they spring.
And if I make sure they're inthe right amount of soil, they
have enough water and they haveenough sunlight and have enough
warmth, and they have enough,and I weed them and take care of
them, after many months,several months, I can harvest
whatever it is I planted.
And some people today say well,I don't want to go plant seeds
(21:33):
in the spring and take care ofthem and weed them, I just want
the instant gratification now.
And that's like.
That's like as foolish assaying I'm going to plant.
You know, all the other farmerswent and planted seeds in the
April and now it's September,october, they're trying to
harvest and I didn't.
I just took it easy all summer.
And now I want to plant seedsand just say, bro, and I talked
to a bunch of farmers out in theMidwest and they told me I said
(21:55):
can you cheat the law of theharvest?
And they laughed at me.
They said there's no way tocheat it, you've got to do it.
So realize, as a podcaster, asa someone who's trying to build
influence.
The consistent effort doingyour podcast, the consistent
effort of building trust, theconsistent effort of aligning
with principles on a on a daily,consistent basis over time, can
bring wonderful results.
(22:16):
But if you're saying, oh, Ihave to just instantaneously
have it right now, you'reignoring gravity, you're
ignoring the law of the harvest.
Carl Richards (22:22):
Yeah, you definitely can't plant seeds and
expect them to be ready toharvest and be on the dinner
table in less than four or fivedays.
You do need the time, and thisis so true, and I'm glad you're
mentioning that it's relevant inthe podcasting space, because
we see that a lot.
It's relevant in the podcastingspace because we see that a lot
(22:44):
.
We see the folks who want to bethe Joe Rogan superstar with
only 10 episodes under theirbelt and no previous experience
or celebrity status.
Let's face it, a guy like JoeRogan has that behind him.
Or Oprah Winfrey, who has that.
They've already built therelationship, the credibility,
the status whatever you want tocall it that allows them to get
into something like a podcastand be an instant, overnight
(23:05):
success.
It took them several years tobecome that instant success, but
in this example they've alreadydone the work.
So to that example.
What do you share with peopleother than slow down when
they're wanting that instantgratification and you know that
that's not the path.
What advice or what do you sayto them?
EksAyn Anderson (23:25):
Most of these people who look like instant
successes, really, if you lookat it and you saw the real truth
, they've been probably hustlingfor a decade and then they pop
out of the ground.
Everyone goes oh, they were aninstant success.
But they were more like thebamboo tree.
Have you heard about the bamboothing?
The bamboo tree?
It has these roots that go downfor a long time and you don't
(23:46):
see much.
And then all of a sudden yousee this bamboo shoot come out,
but what you didn't see was theroots growing and growing for a
long time.
And so a lot of times when wesee people and say, oh, they
were an instant success, wereally don't see the whole story
.
And most of the time you've hadpeople who were hustling and
working hard and sacrificing andputting in the time, putting in
the reps, and then later onthey have this success that
(24:07):
looks instant.
But you're exactly right, theystill didn't cheat the law of
the harvest.
It just it may appear that way.
It may appear like a bambootree that pops out of the ground
, but you don't see all the timethat those roots were going
down deep.
Carl Richards (24:23):
So great, great question.
Wow, wow.
This is a phenomenalconversation.
I think we could chat all dayabout this.
EksAyn Anderson (24:26):
I love chatting with you, Carl.
You've got a great thing you'redoing to help podcasters.
Carl Richards (24:30):
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
We probably shouldn't chat allday, though, because then I'm
doing a disservice to myaudience, so I want to give you
the opportunity to sharesomething with the audience.
What can you help with ourlisteners today that might help
them be able to get into yourhead, learn from you?
What are some things you canshare with?
EksAyn Anderson (24:51):
them.
Just one thing to say that wasbrief.
I would just say the key tosuccess is not trying to find
some newest silver bullet that'sgoing to instantly take you
there.
The key to success, in my view,would be number one be humble
enough to realize that you'renot a principal.
Number two figure out what theprinciples are that govern what
you want to go to.
What are the principles thatgovern building a successful
(25:12):
influencing business inpodcasting, what are the
principles that governrelationships or whatever it is
that you're trying to do?
And then make your dailydecisions.
Your little, tiny dailydecisions, the ones you don't
think matter, align with them.
Those little, tiny dailydecisions, over time have a huge
, huge impact.
So if you can remember to dothose three things, you're not a
principal yourself.
(25:32):
Figure out what they are andthen make your little daily
decisions.
Just focus on what you can dotoday to inch it forward and
after time you'll have a huge,huge harvest at some point is my
belief, .
Carl Richards (25:44):
Oh, we did forget to drive people to your
newsletter, which isxeksinfluencecom forward slash,
subscribe and a lot of juicyinformation in there, I'm sure.
EksAyn Anderson (25:55):
We should hope so.
The basics, but think about howto actually increase your
influence.
Carl Richards (26:01):
All right, perfect, eksinfluencecom forward
, slash, subscribe.
We'll make sure that, and allof your influence X is in the
show notes.
I'll give you one quick finalthought, if you've got one in
you before we let you go.
EksAyn Anderson (26:16):
I'll tell you this.
My mom died when I was eightand she said something before
she died many times that hit me.
She said no matter the question, love is the answer, and I know
that sounds a littleoversimplified, but if you think
about it, just loving thatsecretary is what got me into
the door in New York.
If you can truly choose to careabout people, choose to care
(26:37):
about people on your podcast,choose to care about those
people you're trying toinfluence.
That's the the most powerfulprinciple out there is just to
love people, even if you don'tfeel like it.
Just choose.
It's an action, not a, not afeeling.
Choose to care about people andwatch things happen.
Carl, you have a great show.
You're doing a great.
You're a great host.
Love been up, been on the showwith you, thank you.
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background-color (26:56):
rgb(252, 252, 253);">Anderson thank you
for being the guest today mypleasure and it's an honor to be
asked to be on your show.
Thank you.
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