November 19, 2025 • 23 mins
Want more engaging interviews, warmer leads, and fewer awkward stalls? We sit down with sales whisperer and author Nancy Zare to decode how four personality styles quietly drive trust, timing, and the word choices that make people lean in. Nancy’s AlikeAbility system maps buyers by decision speed—2, 4, 6, and 8—and reveals the value language each style needs to hear: outcomes and efficiency for fast movers, process and proof for deep thinkers, and balanced blends for those in the middle. The twist: most of us show a social persona on a pre-call, then switch to a decision persona when the stakes rise, which explains why a great screening chat can turn into a sticky recording.
We dig into Nancy’s five-step framework: understand the four styles and their values, identify your own defaults, diagnose the other person in under a minute, shift your words to match their priorities, and sand down the habits that create friction. For podcasters, that means smarter guest selection, tighter prep, and on-the-fly adjustments that keep conversations crisp instead of combative. For creators and coaches selling services, it means dropping sales resistance without feeling pushy, using value words that feel natural and precise rather than resorting to mirroring tricks that can come off as phoney.
You’ll hear practical cues—vocal pace, question density, patience level—that help you spot a style fast and choose the right on-ramp: “Here’s the fastest path” for 2s, “Here’s the evidence behind the method” for 8s, and a calibrated mix for 4s and 6s. Nancy also shares a free AlikeAbility assessment to identify your ideal prospect’s dominant style so you can tailor offers, CTAs, and interview structures with intention. Ready to turn rapport into results and make every conversation smoother? Listen now, grab the assessment, and tell us which style challenges you most. If you found this helpful, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who hosts—or hopes to.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carl (00:04):
Welcome to Communication Connection Community, the
Podcaster's Podcast.
This podcast takes a deep diveinto modern-day communication
strategies in the podcastingspace.
We chat with interesting peoplewho make the podcasting and
speaking spaces exciting andvibrant.
We also dive into thepodcasting community with news,
(00:24):
updates, latest trends, andtopics from this ever-evolving
space.
Let's dive into today'sepisode.
And my guest today is NancyZare, sales whisperer and
(00:45):
author.
She's the creator of theAlikAbility system.
She shows professional businessowners how to turn 50% of their
prospects into clients.
She earned her master's anddoctorate from Boston College
and authored seven books,including an Amazon
International Bestseller.
We're going to find out aboutthat and some other things as
well.
She resides in Florida, she isa student of spirituality and
(01:08):
recovery and volunteers as afoster family for the Farm Dog
Rescue.
Her secret desire is to goracing on the Autobahn.
And we are so thrilled she'sjoining us today.
Nancy, welcome to the podcast.
Nancy (01:21):
I am excited to share nuggets with the audience, Carl.
Can't wait.
We're going to talk aboutpersonality.
Carl (01:28):
Before we do that, though, and I love your energy, by the
way, before we do that, let'sget some personal stuff out of
the way.
Okay, firstly, your love ofdogs.
I'm a dog lover.
You're a dog lover.
How many dogs have youfostered?
Nancy (01:40):
Well, in the last two and a half years, 35 dogs.
Number 34 and 35 are currentlyresiding in my home.
So, folks, if you hear somebarking, whining, that's what's
going on.
Carl (01:52):
It's not Nancy, it's the dogs in the background.
So and it's not me in thebackground either barking or
whining or complaining.
So, Nancy, thank you so muchfor all that you do to make sure
that our furry friends, they'refamily members too, right?
So thank you for taking care ofthem when they need it the most
as well.
Okay, so tell me about theAutobahn.
Tell me about the secret desireto drive on the Autobahn.
(02:13):
Where does this come from?
Nancy (02:15):
I am a speed demon.
I love, I have a heavy foot onthe gas pedal.
And in the United States, thereare limits to how fast you can
go.
I have accumulated a few ofthose, what's called speeding
tickets.
So much so that I actually wasredirected to driver's education
school.
Okay.
(02:36):
Interesting.
All right, audience, now youknow who I am.
Carl (02:41):
If we should refer to them as speeding tickets or non-all
access paths, I don't know.
So that needs another name forbecause Oh, I like that.
You know, speeding, everyoneelse is going slower than you
want them to, right?
Nancy (02:54):
So well, actually, I mean, it was the cop car that
wasn't moving at all that taggedme at going high speed.
So, anyway, it's all good.
I've since been re-educated.
Uh, but does that mean I havestopped this desire for speed?
No.
Carl (03:11):
Hence why you need the Autobahn to just open it up and
have some fun with that.
An environment too, where theyalready, I mean, it's a very
from what I understand, eventhough there's various speeds
and and everyone basicallydrives at the speed they want,
there's a pecking order orthere's a people know.
Like if you're a slow driver,you go where you're supposed to
be slow.
And if you're a fast driver,drive where you drive fast.
(03:32):
That's just anyways, I love it.
I just I just neededconfirmation of where is this
coming from?
Is this a family heritagething?
So, anyways, I'm I'm glad thatuh I'm glad that you shared
that.
And yes, we are talking aboutpersonality styles today.
And you might be wondering why,you know, a show like ours,
which is aimed at podcasters andpodcasts too, why are we
talking about personalitystyles?
(03:53):
So, one of the things I didn'tmention is Nancy is a
sought-after podcast guest aswell.
And she does live streams.
So she has experience withcontent creation and sharing her
message.
It's not like she just fell offa turnip truck.
She she knows what she'stalking about.
And I want to know the parallelbetween what you do and why
it's so relevant in thepodcasting space.
(04:14):
So, why is personality stylingso relevant in the space?
Nancy (04:19):
If you deal with people, you're dealing with personality.
And hence that's why it'srelevant.
One of the great things that myclients report, we focus on
helping them make sales.
As you mentioned, I uh helpthem convert 50% of their
prospects into clients or evenmore.
What they tell me is the realbenefit of our work together is
(04:42):
their relationships improve intheir families and out in
society.
And that's because they're ableto read the other person's
personality style and makeadjustments so that things go
more smoothly.
Isn't that a wonderful thing?
Because there isn't a personhere on the planet that doesn't
(05:03):
have someone that they kind ofrub the wrong way and and they
don't really appreciate, andthey don't appreciate you, and
hence it's it's important tolearn how to get along, right?
Carl (05:14):
Absolutely.
And I would chalk it up to someof that.
I don't necessarily appreciatethat person.
Maybe in some cases it's amisunderstanding, but maybe
that's the whole point is it'snot understanding that person's
where where that person iscoming from on a deeper level.
Nancy (05:28):
You're correct.
And it started, Carl, if I cantell a quick story about the
origin of this.
I was 10 years old.
My parents had a very stormymerit.
And my earliest memories are ofthe cupboards banging and the
glasses breaking and doorslamming.
It was, you know, loud voices.
It was not a good scene.
I saw a show on TV that FatherKnows Best was able to help
(05:53):
quarreling children get along.
And I said, ooh, my parentsneed that.
Now, the interesting thing isthey let me do this intervention
on them.
Now, I didn't even know theword intervention at age 10.
All I knew is I was going to dowhat Father Knows Best did, and
I sat my parents down.
Now, the kids were in a couch.
Obviously, for TV purposes,they had to sit next to each
(06:14):
other.
But my parents were so angrythey could not sit next to each
other.
However, I started with theoldest, which was my dad, and I
wouldn't let mom interrupt.
And I asked what was thematter, and then I had my mom do
the same thing.
And at the end of it, Carl, Itranslated what my parents said
because they did not understandeach other's conversation.
(06:38):
Now they were both native-bornEnglish-speaking adults.
So what was it they didn'tunderstand?
The personality style, thevalues underneath that style.
And hence they were buttingheads all the time.
When you understand someoneelse's style, that person that
rubs you the wrong way, you maynot like them and want them as a
(07:00):
friend.
It can make the relationship gomore smoothly, and hence both
of you will walk away in abetter place.
Carl (07:08):
It's certainly something that just the way you've
described it is would be crucialin sales because you are
talking to people on a regularbasis, and or you should be if
you're trying to be successfulin sales.
You shouldn't be just talkingto one person thinking, okay, I
made a sale, unless you, I don'tknow, sold the world or
something.
In that case, that's a heftyprice tag.
But you would be remiss to notbe understanding of call me
(07:33):
crazy, but you would be remissto not be understanding of where
the other person's coming fromand hopefully not need an
interpreter like what you had todo with your parents to figure
it out.
I would say that sales training101.
Would I be wrong to assumethat?
Nancy (07:46):
Absolutely on target.
And again, think about thevalue of being able to read or
understand how the other personoperates and what are values and
priorities to that.
You see, at the end of thatconversation with my parents, I
turned to my dad and I said,This is what you're going to do,
so mom will feel loved.
(08:06):
And I said to my mom, this iswhat you do, so dad will be
respected.
The words change.
And that's because they speakdifferent languages.
They had different personalitystyles.
And so you're not going tochange yourself, but by changing
the words you use, adjustingwhat you say to match the values
(08:28):
of your prospect or whoever itmight be, your podcast guest, or
maybe it's a podcast host.
When you adjust what you say,you're going to be in harmony.
And there's going to be a senseof, wow, you get me.
We're alike.
And hence I call this theAlikAbility sales system.
Carl (08:48):
So this is a system that you've created.
Nancy (08:51):
Yes.
Carl (08:51):
I want to get some information about that.
I don't want to give you, youknow, have you give away your
best stuff or anything.
Obviously, that's what yourclients are for.
But is there a specific systemor systems that you tapped into
to create your own system thathas paved the way for you?
Nancy (09:07):
Well, it's understanding that there are four different
personality styles.
And each of those personalitystyles has a priority around
certain value.
So when you speak the values ofthose styles, that's when the
person immediately says, Wow, Ifeel connected with you.
You get me.
(09:27):
And they relax, the trustbuilds, sales resistance drops
away.
Now everybody loves to buy,hate to be sold.
That's what sales resistanceis.
So sales resistance drops, andnow that opens the door to doing
business together.
Hence that's the value ofAlikAbility.
And there are five steps.
(09:48):
Step one is to figure out thosefour styles, have a
description, know the values.
Uh, step two is who are you?
What's your style?
Why is that important?
You tend to sell the way youbuy, so you need to know how
you're configured, right?
The third step is to diagnoseyour prospect style.
And I teach my clients to do itin less than a minute.
(10:12):
Uh, the fourth is to now shift.
Remember those value words,respect or love.
You shift what you say to matchthe other person.
And the last step is well, wedo have some blind spots.
We don't really know sometimeshow we're impacting others.
So you need to downplay ordiscard that rough edge in you.
Carl (10:34):
Phenomenal.
And you just breezed by that ina very precise and concise way.
I want to unbundle this alittle bit more if I can.
With the personality styles,you said they're four.
Are they based on color?
Red, uh blue, or green, orsomething like completely
different?
Nancy (10:51):
You're right to ask that question, Carl, because there
are over 200 personality uhsystems in the world.
And color is one of them.
Probably people have heard ofsomething called DISC or Myers
Briggs.
There are animals like dognames, there are birds.
Well, after 35 years ofresearch, the system I use,
(11:14):
which uh came from doing someresearch, we use numbers to
describe these four styles.
The numbers correspond to howmany contacts someone needs
before they make up their mind.
So the numbers are two, four,six, and eight.
Our number two buyer makes uptheir mind in only one, at most
(11:35):
two contacts, that's decisive.
So already you're getting asense of their values, which is
efficiency, speed, results,right?
The number eight, on the otherhand, which it takes the longest
time, they take eight toinfinity.
Turn that eight on its side,it's infinity, right?
The sign for infinity.
This is the person who asks alot of questions, needs
(11:57):
scientific evidence, needs toconsider and think about and
digest and independently come totheir own understanding.
It takes a time for that totake place, hence eight or more
context.
And of course, the four and thesix are in between.
They too have very differentvalues and priorities.
Carl (12:17):
Is it possible?
And thank you so much forexplaining that.
Is it possible that we have alittle bit of two, four, six,
and eight in each of us?
Or is it just I'm a two, you'rean eight, oh, I gotta learn how
to live with that.
Nancy (12:31):
Oh, I love the fact you said that because 70% of the
population is strong in twostyles, at least two styles.
And one style we use socially,and that's the one that when we
initially talk to someone, wethink to ourselves, well, that's
who they are.
But then when we ask a decisionfor to make a buying decision,
(12:52):
we ask a question, all of asudden they revert to a
different style, which is theirbuying style.
So one of the things I teach ishow to discern, how to figure
out when someone has shiftedtheir style.
And it usually happens bylistening to their vocal
qualities or watching theirbehavioral cues, because they
(13:13):
will slow down or speed updepending on a different style.
Carl (13:19):
And you're right, there's so many different personality
styles out there.
I didn't realize there werethat many.
I mean, I'd known of MyersBriggs and DISC, and I remember
doing colors training back,don't even want to hazard a
guess as to how many years agoit was, but it's at least 15.
So I knew a little bit aboutit, but I didn't know if in this
case it there was still anoverlap with the with the
(13:39):
different personality styles.
So let me ask you this then.
How is this beneficial, or howis this going to more deeply
relate to podcasters?
Give me, you know, your yourperspective on that.
Nancy (13:53):
This is true for almost all of us.
Of these four styles, two ofthem, remember I said 70% of the
population goes between twostyles.
Well, two of those styles areyou feel really connected to.
It's instant rapport, easy totalk with them, easy to
interview them.
(14:13):
The other two styles, it feelslike you know, pulling on a tar
baby or getting stuck and younot getting anywhere, and you
know, it's all balled up.
So I recommend for those of youthinking about podcasting or
currently have a podcast or wantto be a guest, you want to find
(14:34):
the right personality style,right?
That chemistry.
You know what I'm talkingabout.
You vibe with certain people,right?
Well, don't you want to talk tothem rather than the ones you
don't vibe with?
So, how can you recognize whothat is?
Well, again, that's what Iteach, so that you can screen
them in or screen them out.
Carl (14:54):
Is it as simple as a screening process?
Or I don't know if this is mejust thinking, of course, I have
my hosting hat on because I'm ahost, but can a personality
style be masked?
So, for example, I have aninitial conversation with you,
and then we get to theinterview, and it's a complete
and utter, I don't know whatwent wrong, because it seemed
(15:15):
like we were connecting on ourdiscovery call.
Nancy (15:18):
Do you remember when I told you there's a social
persona and then thedecision-making persona?
So that's what you'reexperiencing.
The social persona came showedup for that initial interview
and that initial screening.
And you said to yourself, Oh,goody, this is going to be fun.
And then who came for theinterview?
The one that was different.
(15:39):
Because now that they had thetransaction sewed up, so to
speak, you know, then adifferent outside of them came
out.
Carl (15:46):
Interesting.
Is it something too that is,and and maybe I'm thinking of
performance?
Is it something that you canswitch on, switch off?
So, for example, if somebodyknows they have to be on, they
almost assume a certainpersonality, like a you know,
broadcaster or an actor or amusician who knows that, hey, I
have to do this time, I have tobe this type of person here and
(16:07):
there, here and now.
Nancy (16:09):
Absolutely.
It is something you can switchon, especially if you are aware
that you can bring your energyup or pull your energy down
based on the situation.
And that's part of what I alsoteach, because the person who's
highly energetic andenthusiastic will turn off that
person who is obviously morethoughtful and needs time, uh,
(16:32):
and vice versa.
The the one who's slower andmore thoughtful is a pain in the
neck to the one who wantsthings done now.
So, yes, by understanding thatthese are differences, and you
can take that into account interms of how you show up, how
you speak, how you present, evenhow you dress, so that the
(16:53):
other person can feel like I getyou, we're alike.
Carl (16:57):
Wow, phenomenal.
Nancy (16:59):
And some people are better at it than others, Carl,
because some people are moreemotionally, what's the right
word?
They have a higher EQ emotionalquotient in terms of reading
people and getting a sense ofooh, what I just said, you know,
made them wince.
But gee, when I do it this way,you know, we're it compatible.
Carl (17:19):
Wow.
Okay.
And I'm certainly glad youmentioned that.
Almost like an empath in a way.
Nancy (17:24):
It could be, but again, I believe these things can be
taught as opposed to a naturalgift that someone has.
And I want to emphasize thatbecause the listener may be
thinking, oh, I can never dothat.
But actually you can.
You know, I've worked withhundreds of clients, and so I
know that when you understandthese four styles and the values
(17:47):
underneath those styles, it'sas easy as using the right
words.
When you use the language ofthe other person, like respect
versus love, you're going to getthe results you want.
Carl (17:59):
Does NLP play into this as well?
Or is that something completelycompletely different?
Nancy (18:05):
I don't use NLP, but NLP Neurolinguistic programming, for
those people who might not befamiliar with these acronyms
that we throw around.
It's a good system for, again,building rapport with someone,
and you do it through nonverbaluh behavioral cues.
So if someone's smiling, yousmile back.
(18:26):
It's kind of a natural thing todo.
But if they've got restingtheir hand on their chin, you
might do that.
And, you know, not immediately,but subtly, slowly do it.
And the other person begins tothink like, you know, this place
of community that we're wereally get each other.
However, my concern is that itcan be artificial.
(18:47):
And when you overdo it, theother person, even if it's
unconscious, they say tothemselves, there's something
phony here.
And that's the reason why usingwords, which is what I teach,
the value word, is much moregenuine.
Because when I use the rightword, like for the number two,
we mentioned that they wantspeed and results and
(19:09):
efficiency.
But talking about how we'regoing to get it done right away
and let's get going, they'refeeling like I'm getting there,
as opposed to, you know, movingin really quickly.
And, you know, they're going tothink, what happened to this
person?
Did she become some sort of,you know, energizer bunny?
Carl (19:28):
And of course, the person to help you on this journey is
Nancy.
So definitely connect with her.
Actually, Nancy, I'll give youthe opportunity to share with
folks at this time either howthey can connect with you or
what or what you'd like to passalong to them as your gift
today.
Nancy (19:43):
What a good question because we talked earlier about
I was gonna, based on ourconversation, figure out what I
was gonna pass along.
And so I think what I'm gonnapass along is the Alikability
Assessment.
And this is an opportunity foryou to identify your ideal
prospects personality style.
(20:05):
Wouldn't that be a little juicytidbit to own?
So I will provide the link andCarl will pass it along and you
know, enjoy finding out just whois your ideal personality.
Remember, there's usually two.
Uh, this particular quiz willshow you the first dominant one.
And if you want to know thewhole picture, then you and I
(20:27):
should talk.
Carl (20:28):
That's a very, very generous gift.
Thank you very much, Nancy.
We'll make sure that link is inthe show notes as well as all
of your contact information, howto connect with her on social
media, follow her, like her, allof that stuff.
Oh my goodness.
I feel like we could justcontinue to do this for the
entire day, but we probablyshouldn't.
So we can have a round two,Carl.
(20:48):
We'll definitely do round two.
Maybe I should take theassessment, and round two is
maybe unbundling my assessment.
Maybe.
Nancy (20:56):
Oh, I would love to do that.
Especially, by the way, I dothis on LinkedIn.
I read people's profiles onLinkedIn so you know who you're
gonna talk to.
And maybe you can use that forscreening, Carl, and save
yourself some aggravation.
Carl (21:12):
I love it.
Let's definitely do that.
Nancy's there before I turn youloose to uh go be personality
driven with some uh fantasticclients that you serve.
I'll give you the finalthought.
Nancy (21:24):
Final thought.
I hope that I have made some ofyour brain spin and twirl, and
you're beginning to think, hmm,there's something more to this
personality thing than Ithought.
Here's my quote that I'm knownfor.
Information without applicationis useless.
And so all the little nuggetsyou may have picked up today,
(21:45):
and I hope there were many.
If you don't put them intooperation, it's gone, folks.
Gonzo.
So make a commitment thatyou're going to apply just one
idea that you heard today.
To your sales success, Nancy'shere, sales whisperer.
Carl (22:03):
That's a great place to leave it.
Nancy, thank you so much forbeing my guest today.
Nancy (22:08):
My pleasure.
Carl (22:09):
And hey, thank you for being a part of the show today.
So glad you could join us.
Believe it or not, I can't workthis magic by myself.
So, thanks to my amazing team,our audio engineer Dom Carillo,
our sonic writing genius KentonDobrowolski, and the person who
works the arms, all of our armsactually, our project manager
and my trusty assistant,Julovell Tiongco, known to us
(22:29):
here simply as July.
If you like what you heardtoday, let us know.
It can leave us a comment orreview, or even send us a voice
notes.
And if you really liked it, wehope you'll share it with your
friends and your colleagues.
If you don't like what youheard today, well, please feel
free to share with your enemies.
And if you know someone whowould make a great guest on the
show, let us know about it.
You can get in touch with us bygoing to our show notes where
(22:52):
all of our connection points arethere, including the links to
our website, LinkedIn, andFacebook as well.
And if you're ready to be aguest on podcasts, or even start
your own show, let's have aconversation.
We'll show you the simplest wayto get into the podcasting
space and rock it.
Because after all, we'rePodcast Solutions Made Simple.
Catch again next time.
Welcome to Communication Connection Community, the
Podcaster's Podcast.
This podcast takes a deep diveinto modern-day communication
strategies in the podcastingspace.
We chat with interesting peoplewho make the podcasting and
speaking spaces exciting andvibrant.
We also dive into thepodcasting community with news,
(00:24):
updates, latest trends, andtopics from this ever-evolving
space.
Let's dive into today'sepisode.
And my guest today is NancyZare, sales whisperer and
(00:45):
author.
She's the creator of theAlikAbility system.
She shows professional businessowners how to turn 50% of their
prospects into clients.
She earned her master's anddoctorate from Boston College
and authored seven books,including an Amazon
International Bestseller.
We're going to find out aboutthat and some other things as
well.
She resides in Florida, she isa student of spirituality and
(01:08):
recovery and volunteers as afoster family for the Farm Dog
Rescue.
Her secret desire is to goracing on the Autobahn.
And we are so thrilled she'sjoining us today.
Nancy, welcome to the podcast.
Nancy (01:21):
I am excited to share nuggets with the audience, Carl.
Can't wait.
We're going to talk aboutpersonality.
Carl (01:28):
Before we do that, though, and I love your energy, by the
way, before we do that, let'sget some personal stuff out of
the way.
Okay, firstly, your love ofdogs.
I'm a dog lover.
You're a dog lover.
How many dogs have youfostered?
Nancy (01:40):
Well, in the last two and a half years, 35 dogs.
Number 34 and 35 are currentlyresiding in my home.
So, folks, if you hear somebarking, whining, that's what's
going on.
Carl (01:52):
It's not Nancy, it's the dogs in the background.
So and it's not me in thebackground either barking or
whining or complaining.
So, Nancy, thank you so muchfor all that you do to make sure
that our furry friends, they'refamily members too, right?
So thank you for taking care ofthem when they need it the most
as well.
Okay, so tell me about theAutobahn.
Tell me about the secret desireto drive on the Autobahn.
(02:13):
Where does this come from?
Nancy (02:15):
I am a speed demon.
I love, I have a heavy foot onthe gas pedal.
And in the United States, thereare limits to how fast you can
go.
I have accumulated a few ofthose, what's called speeding
tickets.
So much so that I actually wasredirected to driver's education
school.
Okay.
(02:36):
Interesting.
All right, audience, now youknow who I am.
Carl (02:41):
If we should refer to them as speeding tickets or non-all
access paths, I don't know.
So that needs another name forbecause Oh, I like that.
You know, speeding, everyoneelse is going slower than you
want them to, right?
Nancy (02:54):
So well, actually, I mean, it was the cop car that
wasn't moving at all that taggedme at going high speed.
So, anyway, it's all good.
I've since been re-educated.
Uh, but does that mean I havestopped this desire for speed?
No.
Carl (03:11):
Hence why you need the Autobahn to just open it up and
have some fun with that.
An environment too, where theyalready, I mean, it's a very
from what I understand, eventhough there's various speeds
and and everyone basicallydrives at the speed they want,
there's a pecking order orthere's a people know.
Like if you're a slow driver,you go where you're supposed to
be slow.
And if you're a fast driver,drive where you drive fast.
(03:32):
That's just anyways, I love it.
I just I just neededconfirmation of where is this
coming from?
Is this a family heritagething?
So, anyways, I'm I'm glad thatuh I'm glad that you shared
that.
And yes, we are talking aboutpersonality styles today.
And you might be wondering why,you know, a show like ours,
which is aimed at podcasters andpodcasts too, why are we
talking about personalitystyles?
(03:53):
So, one of the things I didn'tmention is Nancy is a
sought-after podcast guest aswell.
And she does live streams.
So she has experience withcontent creation and sharing her
message.
It's not like she just fell offa turnip truck.
She she knows what she'stalking about.
And I want to know the parallelbetween what you do and why
it's so relevant in thepodcasting space.
(04:14):
So, why is personality stylingso relevant in the space?
Nancy (04:19):
If you deal with people, you're dealing with personality.
And hence that's why it'srelevant.
One of the great things that myclients report, we focus on
helping them make sales.
As you mentioned, I uh helpthem convert 50% of their
prospects into clients or evenmore.
What they tell me is the realbenefit of our work together is
(04:42):
their relationships improve intheir families and out in
society.
And that's because they're ableto read the other person's
personality style and makeadjustments so that things go
more smoothly.
Isn't that a wonderful thing?
Because there isn't a personhere on the planet that doesn't
(05:03):
have someone that they kind ofrub the wrong way and and they
don't really appreciate, andthey don't appreciate you, and
hence it's it's important tolearn how to get along, right?
Carl (05:14):
Absolutely.
And I would chalk it up to someof that.
I don't necessarily appreciatethat person.
Maybe in some cases it's amisunderstanding, but maybe
that's the whole point is it'snot understanding that person's
where where that person iscoming from on a deeper level.
Nancy (05:28):
You're correct.
And it started, Carl, if I cantell a quick story about the
origin of this.
I was 10 years old.
My parents had a very stormymerit.
And my earliest memories are ofthe cupboards banging and the
glasses breaking and doorslamming.
It was, you know, loud voices.
It was not a good scene.
I saw a show on TV that FatherKnows Best was able to help
(05:53):
quarreling children get along.
And I said, ooh, my parentsneed that.
Now, the interesting thing isthey let me do this intervention
on them.
Now, I didn't even know theword intervention at age 10.
All I knew is I was going to dowhat Father Knows Best did, and
I sat my parents down.
Now, the kids were in a couch.
Obviously, for TV purposes,they had to sit next to each
(06:14):
other.
But my parents were so angrythey could not sit next to each
other.
However, I started with theoldest, which was my dad, and I
wouldn't let mom interrupt.
And I asked what was thematter, and then I had my mom do
the same thing.
And at the end of it, Carl, Itranslated what my parents said
because they did not understandeach other's conversation.
(06:38):
Now they were both native-bornEnglish-speaking adults.
So what was it they didn'tunderstand?
The personality style, thevalues underneath that style.
And hence they were buttingheads all the time.
When you understand someoneelse's style, that person that
rubs you the wrong way, you maynot like them and want them as a
(07:00):
friend.
It can make the relationship gomore smoothly, and hence both
of you will walk away in abetter place.
Carl (07:08):
It's certainly something that just the way you've
described it is would be crucialin sales because you are
talking to people on a regularbasis, and or you should be if
you're trying to be successfulin sales.
You shouldn't be just talkingto one person thinking, okay, I
made a sale, unless you, I don'tknow, sold the world or
something.
In that case, that's a heftyprice tag.
But you would be remiss to notbe understanding of call me
(07:33):
crazy, but you would be remissto not be understanding of where
the other person's coming fromand hopefully not need an
interpreter like what you had todo with your parents to figure
it out.
I would say that sales training101.
Would I be wrong to assumethat?
Nancy (07:46):
Absolutely on target.
And again, think about thevalue of being able to read or
understand how the other personoperates and what are values and
priorities to that.
You see, at the end of thatconversation with my parents, I
turned to my dad and I said,This is what you're going to do,
so mom will feel loved.
(08:06):
And I said to my mom, this iswhat you do, so dad will be
respected.
The words change.
And that's because they speakdifferent languages.
They had different personalitystyles.
And so you're not going tochange yourself, but by changing
the words you use, adjustingwhat you say to match the values
(08:28):
of your prospect or whoever itmight be, your podcast guest, or
maybe it's a podcast host.
When you adjust what you say,you're going to be in harmony.
And there's going to be a senseof, wow, you get me.
We're alike.
And hence I call this theAlikAbility sales system.
Carl (08:48):
So this is a system that you've created.
Nancy (08:51):
Yes.
Carl (08:51):
I want to get some information about that.
I don't want to give you, youknow, have you give away your
best stuff or anything.
Obviously, that's what yourclients are for.
But is there a specific systemor systems that you tapped into
to create your own system thathas paved the way for you?
Nancy (09:07):
Well, it's understanding that there are four different
personality styles.
And each of those personalitystyles has a priority around
certain value.
So when you speak the values ofthose styles, that's when the
person immediately says, Wow, Ifeel connected with you.
You get me.
(09:27):
And they relax, the trustbuilds, sales resistance drops
away.
Now everybody loves to buy,hate to be sold.
That's what sales resistanceis.
So sales resistance drops, andnow that opens the door to doing
business together.
Hence that's the value ofAlikAbility.
And there are five steps.
(09:48):
Step one is to figure out thosefour styles, have a
description, know the values.
Uh, step two is who are you?
What's your style?
Why is that important?
You tend to sell the way youbuy, so you need to know how
you're configured, right?
The third step is to diagnoseyour prospect style.
And I teach my clients to do itin less than a minute.
(10:12):
Uh, the fourth is to now shift.
Remember those value words,respect or love.
You shift what you say to matchthe other person.
And the last step is well, wedo have some blind spots.
We don't really know sometimeshow we're impacting others.
So you need to downplay ordiscard that rough edge in you.
Carl (10:34):
Phenomenal.
And you just breezed by that ina very precise and concise way.
I want to unbundle this alittle bit more if I can.
With the personality styles,you said they're four.
Are they based on color?
Red, uh blue, or green, orsomething like completely
different?
Nancy (10:51):
You're right to ask that question, Carl, because there
are over 200 personality uhsystems in the world.
And color is one of them.
Probably people have heard ofsomething called DISC or Myers
Briggs.
There are animals like dognames, there are birds.
Well, after 35 years ofresearch, the system I use,
(11:14):
which uh came from doing someresearch, we use numbers to
describe these four styles.
The numbers correspond to howmany contacts someone needs
before they make up their mind.
So the numbers are two, four,six, and eight.
Our number two buyer makes uptheir mind in only one, at most
(11:35):
two contacts, that's decisive.
So already you're getting asense of their values, which is
efficiency, speed, results,right?
The number eight, on the otherhand, which it takes the longest
time, they take eight toinfinity.
Turn that eight on its side,it's infinity, right?
The sign for infinity.
This is the person who asks alot of questions, needs
(11:57):
scientific evidence, needs toconsider and think about and
digest and independently come totheir own understanding.
It takes a time for that totake place, hence eight or more
context.
And of course, the four and thesix are in between.
They too have very differentvalues and priorities.
Carl (12:17):
Is it possible?
And thank you so much forexplaining that.
Is it possible that we have alittle bit of two, four, six,
and eight in each of us?
Or is it just I'm a two, you'rean eight, oh, I gotta learn how
to live with that.
Nancy (12:31):
Oh, I love the fact you said that because 70% of the
population is strong in twostyles, at least two styles.
And one style we use socially,and that's the one that when we
initially talk to someone, wethink to ourselves, well, that's
who they are.
But then when we ask a decisionfor to make a buying decision,
(12:52):
we ask a question, all of asudden they revert to a
different style, which is theirbuying style.
So one of the things I teach ishow to discern, how to figure
out when someone has shiftedtheir style.
And it usually happens bylistening to their vocal
qualities or watching theirbehavioral cues, because they
(13:13):
will slow down or speed updepending on a different style.
Carl (13:19):
And you're right, there's so many different personality
styles out there.
I didn't realize there werethat many.
I mean, I'd known of MyersBriggs and DISC, and I remember
doing colors training back,don't even want to hazard a
guess as to how many years agoit was, but it's at least 15.
So I knew a little bit aboutit, but I didn't know if in this
case it there was still anoverlap with the with the
(13:39):
different personality styles.
So let me ask you this then.
How is this beneficial, or howis this going to more deeply
relate to podcasters?
Give me, you know, your yourperspective on that.
Nancy (13:53):
This is true for almost all of us.
Of these four styles, two ofthem, remember I said 70% of the
population goes between twostyles.
Well, two of those styles areyou feel really connected to.
It's instant rapport, easy totalk with them, easy to
interview them.
(14:13):
The other two styles, it feelslike you know, pulling on a tar
baby or getting stuck and younot getting anywhere, and you
know, it's all balled up.
So I recommend for those of youthinking about podcasting or
currently have a podcast or wantto be a guest, you want to find
(14:34):
the right personality style,right?
That chemistry.
You know what I'm talkingabout.
You vibe with certain people,right?
Well, don't you want to talk tothem rather than the ones you
don't vibe with?
So, how can you recognize whothat is?
Well, again, that's what Iteach, so that you can screen
them in or screen them out.
Carl (14:54):
Is it as simple as a screening process?
Or I don't know if this is mejust thinking, of course, I have
my hosting hat on because I'm ahost, but can a personality
style be masked?
So, for example, I have aninitial conversation with you,
and then we get to theinterview, and it's a complete
and utter, I don't know whatwent wrong, because it seemed
(15:15):
like we were connecting on ourdiscovery call.
Nancy (15:18):
Do you remember when I told you there's a social
persona and then thedecision-making persona?
So that's what you'reexperiencing.
The social persona came showedup for that initial interview
and that initial screening.
And you said to yourself, Oh,goody, this is going to be fun.
And then who came for theinterview?
The one that was different.
(15:39):
Because now that they had thetransaction sewed up, so to
speak, you know, then adifferent outside of them came
out.
Carl (15:46):
Interesting.
Is it something too that is,and and maybe I'm thinking of
performance?
Is it something that you canswitch on, switch off?
So, for example, if somebodyknows they have to be on, they
almost assume a certainpersonality, like a you know,
broadcaster or an actor or amusician who knows that, hey, I
have to do this time, I have tobe this type of person here and
(16:07):
there, here and now.
Nancy (16:09):
Absolutely.
It is something you can switchon, especially if you are aware
that you can bring your energyup or pull your energy down
based on the situation.
And that's part of what I alsoteach, because the person who's
highly energetic andenthusiastic will turn off that
person who is obviously morethoughtful and needs time, uh,
(16:32):
and vice versa.
The the one who's slower andmore thoughtful is a pain in the
neck to the one who wantsthings done now.
So, yes, by understanding thatthese are differences, and you
can take that into account interms of how you show up, how
you speak, how you present, evenhow you dress, so that the
(16:53):
other person can feel like I getyou, we're alike.
Carl (16:57):
Wow, phenomenal.
Nancy (16:59):
And some people are better at it than others, Carl,
because some people are moreemotionally, what's the right
word?
They have a higher EQ emotionalquotient in terms of reading
people and getting a sense ofooh, what I just said, you know,
made them wince.
But gee, when I do it this way,you know, we're it compatible.
Carl (17:19):
Wow.
Okay.
And I'm certainly glad youmentioned that.
Almost like an empath in a way.
Nancy (17:24):
It could be, but again, I believe these things can be
taught as opposed to a naturalgift that someone has.
And I want to emphasize thatbecause the listener may be
thinking, oh, I can never dothat.
But actually you can.
You know, I've worked withhundreds of clients, and so I
know that when you understandthese four styles and the values
(17:47):
underneath those styles, it'sas easy as using the right
words.
When you use the language ofthe other person, like respect
versus love, you're going to getthe results you want.
Carl (17:59):
Does NLP play into this as well?
Or is that something completelycompletely different?
Nancy (18:05):
I don't use NLP, but NLP Neurolinguistic programming, for
those people who might not befamiliar with these acronyms
that we throw around.
It's a good system for, again,building rapport with someone,
and you do it through nonverbaluh behavioral cues.
So if someone's smiling, yousmile back.
(18:26):
It's kind of a natural thing todo.
But if they've got restingtheir hand on their chin, you
might do that.
And, you know, not immediately,but subtly, slowly do it.
And the other person begins tothink like, you know, this place
of community that we're wereally get each other.
However, my concern is that itcan be artificial.
(18:47):
And when you overdo it, theother person, even if it's
unconscious, they say tothemselves, there's something
phony here.
And that's the reason why usingwords, which is what I teach,
the value word, is much moregenuine.
Because when I use the rightword, like for the number two,
we mentioned that they wantspeed and results and
(19:09):
efficiency.
But talking about how we'regoing to get it done right away
and let's get going, they'refeeling like I'm getting there,
as opposed to, you know, movingin really quickly.
And, you know, they're going tothink, what happened to this
person?
Did she become some sort of,you know, energizer bunny?
Carl (19:28):
And of course, the person to help you on this journey is
Nancy.
So definitely connect with her.
Actually, Nancy, I'll give youthe opportunity to share with
folks at this time either howthey can connect with you or
what or what you'd like to passalong to them as your gift
today.
Nancy (19:43):
What a good question because we talked earlier about
I was gonna, based on ourconversation, figure out what I
was gonna pass along.
And so I think what I'm gonnapass along is the Alikability
Assessment.
And this is an opportunity foryou to identify your ideal
prospects personality style.
(20:05):
Wouldn't that be a little juicytidbit to own?
So I will provide the link andCarl will pass it along and you
know, enjoy finding out just whois your ideal personality.
Remember, there's usually two.
Uh, this particular quiz willshow you the first dominant one.
And if you want to know thewhole picture, then you and I
(20:27):
should talk.
Carl (20:28):
That's a very, very generous gift.
Thank you very much, Nancy.
We'll make sure that link is inthe show notes as well as all
of your contact information, howto connect with her on social
media, follow her, like her, allof that stuff.
Oh my goodness.
I feel like we could justcontinue to do this for the
entire day, but we probablyshouldn't.
So we can have a round two,Carl.
(20:48):
We'll definitely do round two.
Maybe I should take theassessment, and round two is
maybe unbundling my assessment.
Maybe.
Nancy (20:56):
Oh, I would love to do that.
Especially, by the way, I dothis on LinkedIn.
I read people's profiles onLinkedIn so you know who you're
gonna talk to.
And maybe you can use that forscreening, Carl, and save
yourself some aggravation.
Carl (21:12):
I love it.
Let's definitely do that.
Nancy's there before I turn youloose to uh go be personality
driven with some uh fantasticclients that you serve.
I'll give you the finalthought.
Nancy (21:24):
Final thought.
I hope that I have made some ofyour brain spin and twirl, and
you're beginning to think, hmm,there's something more to this
personality thing than Ithought.
Here's my quote that I'm knownfor.
Information without applicationis useless.
And so all the little nuggetsyou may have picked up today,
(21:45):
and I hope there were many.
If you don't put them intooperation, it's gone, folks.
Gonzo.
So make a commitment thatyou're going to apply just one
idea that you heard today.
To your sales success, Nancy'shere, sales whisperer.
Carl (22:03):
That's a great place to leave it.
Nancy, thank you so much forbeing my guest today.
Nancy (22:08):
My pleasure.
Carl (22:09):
And hey, thank you for being a part of the show today.
So glad you could join us.
Believe it or not, I can't workthis magic by myself.
So, thanks to my amazing team,our audio engineer Dom Carillo,
our sonic writing genius KentonDobrowolski, and the person who
works the arms, all of our armsactually, our project manager
and my trusty assistant,Julovell Tiongco, known to us
(22:29):
here simply as July.
If you like what you heardtoday, let us know.
It can leave us a comment orreview, or even send us a voice
notes.
And if you really liked it, wehope you'll share it with your
friends and your colleagues.
If you don't like what youheard today, well, please feel
free to share with your enemies.
And if you know someone whowould make a great guest on the
show, let us know about it.
You can get in touch with us bygoing to our show notes where
(22:52):
all of our connection points arethere, including the links to
our website, LinkedIn, andFacebook as well.
And if you're ready to be aguest on podcasts, or even start
your own show, let's have aconversation.
We'll show you the simplest wayto get into the podcasting
space and rock it.
Because after all, we'rePodcast Solutions Made Simple.
Catch again next time.
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