What Makes a Pageant Girl Unforgettable?

Each week, I share no-fluff pageant coaching to help you lead, speak, and leave a legacy. With 300+ interviews and coaching across Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss America, this isn’t theory—it’s what works.

300 Conversations Later: What I’ve Learned

Earlier this week, I passed a milestone: my 300th interview for The Pageant Project. That’s hundreds of stories, insights, and introductions to some of the brightest (and boldest) women in pageantry. With that kind of volume, people often ask me, “Can you tell when someone’s going to win?”

The short answer? No.

Pageant judging is wildly unpredictable. You can tick all the boxes and still not be “it” for a given system, year, or panel. But what I can tell you—sometimes from the moment someone walks into the room—is whether they’re going to go far. Crown or no crown.

These women have something else. The elusive “it factor.” And while that can feel like trying to bottle lightning, I’ve noticed a pattern. So here it is. Five core traits that I see in the women who stand out—not just in pageants, but in life.

1. Presence: The Room Knows When You Walk In

You can’t fake presence. It’s not just about height, beauty, or a great outfit—though those don’t hurt. It’s about energy. That gravitational pull. The kind that makes heads turn when someone walks in, even if they haven’t said a word.

Think Marisa Page Butler (now Ford) walking into a Miss Earth USA room. A friend told me everyone just felt it. There was a shift. People noticed. That’s presence. And in a world full of noise, being memorable is everything.

You don’t need to be loud or dramatic. But if you walk into a room and no one even registers you were there? That’s a problem—whether you’re competing, networking, or just trying to make your mark.

2. Poise: Grace Under Pressure

Poise is one of those pageant buzzwords we throw around, but rarely define. For me, it’s this: grace under pressure. The ability to handle stress, chaos, or even criticism with calm, composure, and class.

Poise isn’t about being emotionless. It’s about knowing when to take a breath instead of firing off a reply. It’s not snapping back at trolls on social media. It’s being a calm presence when everyone else is spiraling.

And in the unpredictable, high-pressure world of pageants—and frankly, life—this is golden.

3. Self-Awareness: Know Thyself (and the Room)

Self-awareness is painfully underrated. It’s not just about knowing your strengths and weaknesses. It’s about reading a room. Understanding how you’re coming across. Adjusting your tone, your story, your presence depending on the context.

The advice to “just be yourself” is useless if you don’t know who that is. And none of us is the same person in every situation. We adapt. The trick is to do it consciously, not performatively.

In interviews especially, this matters. A rehearsed, robotic answer might be technically perfect, but if it doesn’t land with your audience, it misses the mark. Self-awareness lets you pivot. To connect. To lead.

4. Authenticity: The Courage to Be Real

Authenticity is scary. That’s why so many avoid it.

Posting a no-makeup selfie when you’re in the top 1% of genetically blessed humans isn’t authenticity. Real authenticity is saying something that scares you. Admitting a failure. Sharing a scar, not just a success.

The most powerful, resonant moments I’ve witnessed are when someone says something so real, so raw, that it makes the room go quiet. That’s brave. That’s memorable. And that’s what makes you magnetic.

It’s not about being a walking diary of trauma, but if everything you present is polished, perfect, and PR-approved? You’ll never truly connect.

5. Relatability: Close the Distance

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