Hug #161 Perfectionism

Today, I have a strongly worded message for my pal, Perfectionism:Get out of my life.... today!!! I hope you have the same message. I didn't realize until recently that it has been rearing it's ugly head in my life again, and I will not continue to allow that! Today we'll talk about causes of perfectionism, the vicious cycle, and what to do for more peace.Do You Battle Perfectionism?· Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough?· Do you often put off turning in papers or projects, waiting to get them just right?· Do you feel you must give more than 100 percent on everything you do or else you will be mediocre or even a failure?Causes of Perfectionism· Fear of failure. · Fear of making mistakes. · Fear of disapproval. · All-or-none thinking. · Overemphasis on “should's.” · Believing that others are easily successful. The Vicious Cycle of Perfectionism (See diagram in show notes https://www.tamiwest.com/post/goodbye_perfectionism)So what's the cycle. First, perfectionists set unreachable goals. Second, they fail to meet these goals because the goals were impossible to begin with. Failure to reach them was thus inevitable. Third, the constant pressure to achieve perfection and the inevitable chronic failure reduce productivity and effectiveness. Fourth, this cycle leads perfectionists to be self-critical and self-blaming which results in lower self-esteem. It may also lead to anxiety and depression. “This time if only I try harder I will succeed.” Such thinking sets the entire cycle in motion again. Instead, try Healthy Striving Healthy strivers take pleasure in the process of pursuing the task at hand rather than focusing only on the end result. What to do About Perfectionism· Set realistic and reachable goals based on your own wants and needs and what you have accomplished in the past. · Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. · Experiment with your standards for success. · Focus on the process of doing an activity not just on the end result. · Use feelings of anxiety and depression as opportunities to ask yourself, “Have I set up impossible expectations for myself in this situation?”· Confront the fears that may be behind your perfectionism by asking yourself, “What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen?”· Recognize that many positive things can only be learned by making mistakes. When you make a mistake ask,· “What can I learn from

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**The information shared in this episode is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek help from a qualified professional. If you’re in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or visit 988lifeline.org for chat and resources.

General Resources
National Alliance of Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org
Mental Health America: https://mhanational.org
Mental Health First Aid Resources: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/

About Tami & Michelle:
Michelle Kixmiller, PMHNP
Michelle is a Board Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner

Tami West, PhD
Stress & Mental Health Expert Dr. Tami West uses research & fun to help transform your life.