November 10, 2021 • 14 mins
Miss Frazzle takes the Cop Doctors deeper into Miss Rosenthal's body, only to discover that something evil awaits!!
Music:
"Take Me to the Beach" by Raz Burg @ Artlist.io
"Vicious Attack" by Tilman Sillescu @ Artlist.io
"Brand New Toy" by Ty Simon @ Artlist.io
"Thunder Army" by Michele Nobler @ Artlist.io
"When" by Michele Nobler @ Artlist.io
"The Land That Time Forgot (Instrumental Version)" by Claire Kelly @ Artlist.io
Music:
"Take Me to the Beach" by Raz Burg @ Artlist.io
"Vicious Attack" by Tilman Sillescu @ Artlist.io
"Brand New Toy" by Ty Simon @ Artlist.io
"Thunder Army" by Michele Nobler @ Artlist.io
"When" by Michele Nobler @ Artlist.io
"The Land That Time Forgot (Instrumental Version)" by Claire Kelly @ Artlist.io
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
M seven, Lamb Productions presents CopDoctors Episode twenty six, The Magic Ford
Pinto, Part two. The MagicFord Pinto drove along the foat, taking
(00:39):
deeper and deeper into Missus Rosenthal's body. Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's
the Magic Pinto. It's Thematic FordPinto. I can't sing anymore. Someone
else sing? Why do we haveto sing? Because we're not to our
(01:00):
destination yet. Usually I play thememusic over the bus speakers. But this
isn't a bus. Pentos have speakers, not this one. This is flazzle.
I have to know what the hellhappened to you? You really want
to know? Yes, you wantthe short version of the long version.
(01:22):
I guess the short version. Okay, life fucked me. That's it.
You said the short version. Okay, what's the long version? Okay,
okay, okay. The year wastwo thousand and eight. I was living
life to the fullest, still teachingsecond grade and loving every minute of it.
(01:46):
Yeah. I was nominated for aTeacher of the Year for the tenth
year in a row. Parents lovedme, and they loved my little field
trips with the kids. Magic's ubus. Yes, there, the fun bus
full of magical kids were learning,and no one ever failed my class.
(02:12):
But then then it happened. Whatyeah, what hold on our second?
Where are we? I think thisis her lungs? I think I was
supposed to take a right back there? Here we go. Yeah, it's
that way, I got it.Keep going with your story. So things
(02:34):
were great, but then I madea huge mistake. I started an affair
with Principal Stevens. Principal Stevens,I fucked him. I fucked him literally
everywhere, the desk, the floor, a broken picnic table outside the school
library. Why miss frassled? Whatabout your husband? Gary and I drifted
(02:57):
apart like we started to work throughsome things. We decided we wanted to
fix us. The problem was PrincipalStevens didn't want to let go. I
tried ending things, but he keptbringing up the broken picnic table. He
kept mentioning the splinters in his butt. He kept saying, what about the
(03:19):
splinters? Splinters mean love, splintersmean devotion. But I wasn't devoted.
I told him I was ending ourtime together. What happened? Then?
Then he went full Alex Forest andcooked a bunny on my stove. I
didn't even own a bunny, buthe made me buy one and then he
(03:42):
cooked it. He made you buya bunny. He tormented me and my
family for years. He sent deaththreats, He poisoned my fish tank.
He smashed every one of my GreatestTeacher plaques. He one time dresses me
and went to a wedding party,tended to be me and made a complete
ass of himself. Everyone thought itwas me, so no one invited me
(04:09):
to any more wedding parties. What'sa wedding party? You mean like a
reception. Then he told all mykids parents, I liked to give squirrels
cocaine, which is true, sothey became bad squirrel parents and don't take
care of their squirrel babies. Butit was him, him who gave all
the neighborhood squirrels cocaine, and hewas right. They were always so fucked
(04:33):
up they didn't take care of theirsquirrel babies. Notice how we didn't see
any squirrels on the way here.I thought they were just sleeping because it's
nighttime. No, they're dead,and dead squirrels can't sleep. Jesus.
The worst was when Principal Stevens putmarijuana and a car key in my ass
while I was sleeping, and draggedme to the airport, pushed me through
(04:56):
the metal detector and watched as TSAhad a field the key letting them right
to that marijuana. I was arrestedfor six months. The hell the guy
needs to be in jail. Sadlyhe ran away. See, the parents
didn't really believe all the rumors aboutthe squirrels. But then that field trip
(05:16):
happened with the howler monkeys. Ilet all the parents join too, to
show them that I was just anormal teacher with a magical school bus.
And then well, I think PrincipalStevens sabotaged my bus. He made the
horns sound like a horny howler monkey. The monkeys started humping the bus,
(05:41):
and the parents were outraged. Itwas all over. After that, I
lost my job. Gary finally divorcedme. I got addicted to coke.
I mean, it was all overthe trees now because of the squirrels.
Then I became a hermit. Notonly that, but my bus got repossessed
by the school. Jesus, I'msorry that happened to you, Miss Frazzled.
(06:04):
You're always my favorite teacher. Thankyou, honey. Now let's on
block some somebodies. Guys. What'sthat? Did we take another wrong turn?
I doubt it. I've been followingthe signs. What signs? Look
that that one there? It saysbreak your next left. This isn't the
(06:26):
way to the break. You know? This looks like the esophagus. Someone
put these signs here? Who whowould be able to do such a thing?
Yes? Who would do such athing? Had the pinto floating freely
to their stomach? Was Principle Stevensin a tiny yellow bus? Oh my
(06:51):
god, is that the magic schoolbus? It's Principal Stevens, Yes it
is. I Hello, miss Frazzle. I knew you would come. How
did you get in here? Ihave a magic school bus? But how
did you know? I've been planningthis for years, and now I've got
(07:12):
you. I've got you trapped insidea woman with a clocked artery. This
was an elaborate plan. You can'tescape me now, miss Frazzle, not
even on a first name basis.So how about it, Miss Frazzle?
Will you take me back? PrincipalStevens? You made my life a living
(07:39):
hell for over a decade. I'llnever take you back. I thought you
might say that, then you shallperish along with your two cop doctor friends.
Case, why are we getting draggedinto this? Because Principal Stevens has
made not only my life a livinghell, but everyone around me, including
all my friends. We're not eventhat close. Miss Frazzle, prepare to
(08:03):
die? Just then? Movement behindthe magic school bus. Please? What
is that? Oh my god,the giant take part? No wonder why
Miss Rosenthal has been hungry. I'vebeen training it for months. Go tape
for them, Go go tape forthem, Go eat that magic bar pente
(08:30):
AT's hang on. Miss Frazzle droveall over the stomach lighting the tape went
close behind. It's time for rushthe flights. Wait to say it.
(09:05):
Although you said this car couldn't fly, that was to temper your expectatients.
Why what did I always teach inclass to temper are expectations exactly? Life
isn't always going to be exciting.Sometimes you're going to be poured out of
your mind eating TV dinners and watchingreruns of PBS documentaries. But other times
(09:31):
you're going to be in the stomachof a patient in a magical Ford pinto
out running a trained tape worm,goaded by your former fling in an attempt
to kill you and your new friendstemper expectations. That's right, guys,
the worm is gaining. Take thewheel, Jimmy, where you're going out
(09:54):
there? You'll die, that's right, But I'm taking that tape where and
Prince Abel Stevens with Miss Frazzle liftedher shirt to reveal several sticks of dynamite
strapped to her chest. But howI knew this day would come. I've
been wearing dynamite on my jest forthe past five years, and today's the
(10:18):
day. She lit the wig.Goodbye, my second favorite student. Wait,
who was your first favorite? Shejumped out, who is your first
favorite? Case? We gotta getout of the stomach. Look at all
the undigested beans. This place isgonna blow shit. Diamond Case watched as
(10:45):
missus Frazzle tumbled, called the giantTapwam and magic school bass, and just
as the web opened its mom MissFrazzle exploded, igniting the beans. Missus
Rosenthal's stomach became a huge triaball themagic pinto just literally escaped the esophagus.
(11:11):
I'm out of you. She didn'tmake it, did she? There's no
way. What do we do?Now, Let's go clear this httery and
get the hell out of your time. An hour later, and case and
(11:45):
Time was standing over Miss Rosenthal asshe began to awaken. Ah, where
am I the hospital? My teacheris dead? Oh what my teacher,
My second grade teacher, she's dead. I'm sorry she was inside you when
(12:09):
hearned my principle. We were inthere to help you, and now they're
dead. But the principle was mean, it's good that he's dead. What
do you mean they were inside me? Well, it was a magic school
bus scenario, but with a FordPinto. But the school bus was in
there too. Yeah, that's true, am I? Okay? Though we
cleared the artery, you also hada tapeworm. We took care of that
(12:31):
too, well Miss frazzle did thatwas her name? Miss Frazzled. Oh,
by the way, you shouldn't eatso many beans. Yeah, but
I was so very hungry. Stillthat was it was just too many beans.
So everything's fine now? Yeah,everything's fine. Good because I got
(12:54):
it yet better quickly. I haveso much to do. I have my
son's bob mitts for this weekend.Not men in the work invention. On
Sunday, I have to go togrocery shopping still and also temper your expectations.
Okay, temper your expectations Doctor inloving memory of Miss Frazzle. Cop
(13:52):
Doctors written and edited by Robert M. Lamb starting Jack Austin, That's justin
Case and Robert M. Lamb HasJust in Time, co starring Hope,
Ennis, Darlene Davis, and ChrisDavis. Music provided by Kevin McLeod of
incompetech dot com. If you enjoyedthis podcast, don't forget to rate and
(14:16):
review and visit www dot seven lambdot com for more podcasts such as this
one. This has been a sevenLamb production.
M seven, Lamb Productions presents CopDoctors Episode twenty six, The Magic Ford
Pinto, Part two. The MagicFord Pinto drove along the foat, taking
(00:39):
deeper and deeper into Missus Rosenthal's body. Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's
the Magic Pinto. It's Thematic FordPinto. I can't sing anymore. Someone
else sing? Why do we haveto sing? Because we're not to our
(01:00):
destination yet. Usually I play thememusic over the bus speakers. But this
isn't a bus. Pentos have speakers, not this one. This is flazzle.
I have to know what the hellhappened to you? You really want
to know? Yes, you wantthe short version of the long version.
(01:22):
I guess the short version. Okay, life fucked me. That's it.
You said the short version. Okay, what's the long version? Okay,
okay, okay. The year wastwo thousand and eight. I was living
life to the fullest, still teachingsecond grade and loving every minute of it.
(01:46):
Yeah. I was nominated for aTeacher of the Year for the tenth
year in a row. Parents lovedme, and they loved my little field
trips with the kids. Magic's ubus. Yes, there, the fun bus
full of magical kids were learning,and no one ever failed my class.
(02:12):
But then then it happened. Whatyeah, what hold on our second?
Where are we? I think thisis her lungs? I think I was
supposed to take a right back there? Here we go. Yeah, it's
that way, I got it.Keep going with your story. So things
(02:34):
were great, but then I madea huge mistake. I started an affair
with Principal Stevens. Principal Stevens,I fucked him. I fucked him literally
everywhere, the desk, the floor, a broken picnic table outside the school
library. Why miss frassled? Whatabout your husband? Gary and I drifted
(02:57):
apart like we started to work throughsome things. We decided we wanted to
fix us. The problem was PrincipalStevens didn't want to let go. I
tried ending things, but he keptbringing up the broken picnic table. He
kept mentioning the splinters in his butt. He kept saying, what about the
(03:19):
splinters? Splinters mean love, splintersmean devotion. But I wasn't devoted.
I told him I was ending ourtime together. What happened? Then?
Then he went full Alex Forest andcooked a bunny on my stove. I
didn't even own a bunny, buthe made me buy one and then he
(03:42):
cooked it. He made you buya bunny. He tormented me and my
family for years. He sent deaththreats, He poisoned my fish tank.
He smashed every one of my GreatestTeacher plaques. He one time dresses me
and went to a wedding party,tended to be me and made a complete
ass of himself. Everyone thought itwas me, so no one invited me
(04:09):
to any more wedding parties. What'sa wedding party? You mean like a
reception. Then he told all mykids parents, I liked to give squirrels
cocaine, which is true, sothey became bad squirrel parents and don't take
care of their squirrel babies. Butit was him, him who gave all
the neighborhood squirrels cocaine, and hewas right. They were always so fucked
(04:33):
up they didn't take care of theirsquirrel babies. Notice how we didn't see
any squirrels on the way here.I thought they were just sleeping because it's
nighttime. No, they're dead,and dead squirrels can't sleep. Jesus.
The worst was when Principal Stevens putmarijuana and a car key in my ass
while I was sleeping, and draggedme to the airport, pushed me through
(04:56):
the metal detector and watched as TSAhad a field the key letting them right
to that marijuana. I was arrestedfor six months. The hell the guy
needs to be in jail. Sadlyhe ran away. See, the parents
didn't really believe all the rumors aboutthe squirrels. But then that field trip
(05:16):
happened with the howler monkeys. Ilet all the parents join too, to
show them that I was just anormal teacher with a magical school bus.
And then well, I think PrincipalStevens sabotaged my bus. He made the
horns sound like a horny howler monkey. The monkeys started humping the bus,
(05:41):
and the parents were outraged. Itwas all over. After that, I
lost my job. Gary finally divorcedme. I got addicted to coke.
I mean, it was all overthe trees now because of the squirrels.
Then I became a hermit. Notonly that, but my bus got repossessed
by the school. Jesus, I'msorry that happened to you, Miss Frazzled.
(06:04):
You're always my favorite teacher. Thankyou, honey. Now let's on
block some somebodies. Guys. What'sthat? Did we take another wrong turn?
I doubt it. I've been followingthe signs. What signs? Look
that that one there? It saysbreak your next left. This isn't the
(06:26):
way to the break. You know? This looks like the esophagus. Someone
put these signs here? Who whowould be able to do such a thing?
Yes? Who would do such athing? Had the pinto floating freely
to their stomach? Was Principle Stevensin a tiny yellow bus? Oh my
(06:51):
god, is that the magic schoolbus? It's Principal Stevens, Yes it
is. I Hello, miss Frazzle. I knew you would come. How
did you get in here? Ihave a magic school bus? But how
did you know? I've been planningthis for years, and now I've got
(07:12):
you. I've got you trapped insidea woman with a clocked artery. This
was an elaborate plan. You can'tescape me now, miss Frazzle, not
even on a first name basis.So how about it, Miss Frazzle?
Will you take me back? PrincipalStevens? You made my life a living
(07:39):
hell for over a decade. I'llnever take you back. I thought you
might say that, then you shallperish along with your two cop doctor friends.
Case, why are we getting draggedinto this? Because Principal Stevens has
made not only my life a livinghell, but everyone around me, including
all my friends. We're not eventhat close. Miss Frazzle, prepare to
(08:03):
die? Just then? Movement behindthe magic school bus. Please? What
is that? Oh my god,the giant take part? No wonder why
Miss Rosenthal has been hungry. I'vebeen training it for months. Go tape
for them, Go go tape forthem, Go eat that magic bar pente
(08:30):
AT's hang on. Miss Frazzle droveall over the stomach lighting the tape went
close behind. It's time for rushthe flights. Wait to say it.
(09:05):
Although you said this car couldn't fly, that was to temper your expectatients.
Why what did I always teach inclass to temper are expectations exactly? Life
isn't always going to be exciting.Sometimes you're going to be poured out of
your mind eating TV dinners and watchingreruns of PBS documentaries. But other times
(09:31):
you're going to be in the stomachof a patient in a magical Ford pinto
out running a trained tape worm,goaded by your former fling in an attempt
to kill you and your new friendstemper expectations. That's right, guys,
the worm is gaining. Take thewheel, Jimmy, where you're going out
(09:54):
there? You'll die, that's right, But I'm taking that tape where and
Prince Abel Stevens with Miss Frazzle liftedher shirt to reveal several sticks of dynamite
strapped to her chest. But howI knew this day would come. I've
been wearing dynamite on my jest forthe past five years, and today's the
(10:18):
day. She lit the wig.Goodbye, my second favorite student. Wait,
who was your first favorite? Shejumped out, who is your first
favorite? Case? We gotta getout of the stomach. Look at all
the undigested beans. This place isgonna blow shit. Diamond Case watched as
(10:45):
missus Frazzle tumbled, called the giantTapwam and magic school bass, and just
as the web opened its mom MissFrazzle exploded, igniting the beans. Missus
Rosenthal's stomach became a huge triaball themagic pinto just literally escaped the esophagus.
(11:11):
I'm out of you. She didn'tmake it, did she? There's no
way. What do we do?Now, Let's go clear this httery and
get the hell out of your time. An hour later, and case and
(11:45):
Time was standing over Miss Rosenthal asshe began to awaken. Ah, where
am I the hospital? My teacheris dead? Oh what my teacher,
My second grade teacher, she's dead. I'm sorry she was inside you when
(12:09):
hearned my principle. We were inthere to help you, and now they're
dead. But the principle was mean, it's good that he's dead. What
do you mean they were inside me? Well, it was a magic school
bus scenario, but with a FordPinto. But the school bus was in
there too. Yeah, that's true, am I? Okay? Though we
cleared the artery, you also hada tapeworm. We took care of that
(12:31):
too, well Miss frazzle did thatwas her name? Miss Frazzled. Oh,
by the way, you shouldn't eatso many beans. Yeah, but
I was so very hungry. Stillthat was it was just too many beans.
So everything's fine now? Yeah,everything's fine. Good because I got
(12:54):
it yet better quickly. I haveso much to do. I have my
son's bob mitts for this weekend.Not men in the work invention. On
Sunday, I have to go togrocery shopping still and also temper your expectations.
Okay, temper your expectations Doctor inloving memory of Miss Frazzle. Cop
(13:52):
Doctors written and edited by Robert M. Lamb starting Jack Austin, That's justin
Case and Robert M. Lamb HasJust in Time, co starring Hope,
Ennis, Darlene Davis, and ChrisDavis. Music provided by Kevin McLeod of
incompetech dot com. If you enjoyedthis podcast, don't forget to rate and
(14:16):
review and visit www dot seven lambdot com for more podcasts such as this
one. This has been a sevenLamb production.
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