April 29, 2022 • 11 mins
Time and Case find that their new neighbors need a HUGE favor. They're getting a divorce and they need someone to take their cat. But will the Cop Doctors do it? Tune in now to see!
Music:
"ZigZag," "Funky Chunk," "Cheery Monday," and "Aces High" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Music:
"ZigZag," "Funky Chunk," "Cheery Monday," and "Aces High" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Seven. Lamb Productions Presents Cop DoctorsEpisode twenty seven, New Neighbors. Hey,
(00:32):
Case, do you think lizard peopleare real? Lizard people? Yeah,
like people who are actually lizards,or people dressed like lizards who dresses
like a lizard who is a lizard. It was Sunday night in the Cop
Doctors hid the night off. Ijust think if lizard people were real,
(00:52):
we would know, so then they'renot real. Yeah, I guess that's
good. Real lizard people would probablybe scary. Who could that be?
Hello? Hello, My name isMarco and I'm Pollom. Just kidding,
(01:17):
we're goofy. My name's Cassiandra.We're your new next door neighbors right across
the hall. Oh, nice tomeet you. My name's Justin Case and
this is my roommate slash coworker,just In Time. Oh wow, you
guys have the same first name.That's great. I wish my name was
(01:38):
the same. That's who huh?I don't know? Sure? Okay,
we baked you a pie. Hopeyou like me? You made us a
meat pie? Yeah? Um,would you too like to come in?
That would be lovely. Marco andCassandra entered the apartment. Meat pie in
(01:59):
hand. Do you have a placeI can set this pie, Maybe like
a pedestal or a balcony railing,or a corner of a bookshelf. We
have a kitchen counter, Oh,that'd be perfect. We had all our
counters removed. Why. We liketo skip around the house, especially to
the kitchen, and we found thecounters to be limiting since we both have
(02:20):
long strides, you know, notreally well, look at my legs,
then look at mine. Oh nice, pretty long? Huh yeah, I
guess so. Word on the streetis is that you two are cops during
the day and doctors at night.That's true. How wonderful. Sorry if
(02:43):
this is personal, but have youever shot anyone? Yeah? All the
time. It's fun. Nice bangbang bang. Marco here works for the
parks department. He's a whiz whenit comes to his stalling water fountains and
trees. That I'm a dast dripper. I never worked past four pm.
Oh is the money good? Notreally a lot of money in trees.
(03:07):
I meant with the day stripping,I make only quarters. I like what
you've done with your place? Isthis real oak? This one here?
The glass table? Ah? Rightright? Where's your study? We don't
(03:27):
have a study. You have astudy. We made our bedroom a study.
Where do you sleep in the den? Is it big enough? Our
den is small? Yeah, ofcourse. And we both sleep in full
size beds on top of each other, like bunk beds. No, just
straight on top of each other.Doesn't that make it hard to breathe?
No, I sleep on top.It can be hard. Yeah, sometimes
(03:50):
it's really hard to breathe. Youshould sleep on top. Two. No,
it wouldn't work. Both of ourlegs are too long, remember,
uh huh, yeah I do.But honestly, we came over here because
we have some news. Oh yeah, we're we're getting divorced. Oh we
(04:12):
thought you should know why. Wejust don't love each other anymore. No,
why do you think we should knowthat? But it's more than that.
Cassandra here is sleeping with a lotof men, and so am I.
So you're gay, that's why you'regetting a divorce. Whoa there,
buddy, Relax, homophope much whatyou said you were sleeping with guys?
(04:34):
Yeah, but so is she?She's a girl. You're walking on very
thin ice, my man, sinice. There's more we have to tell
you. But why because you're ourneighbors. We have a favor to ask
what we can't decide on who getsto keep the cat? What? What
(04:56):
cat? Our cat? Her nameis Feathers. Feathers. We were wondering
if maybe you could keep her.What? Why can't you two just rock
paper scissors for it. We tried, but we don't know how to play.
It's not hard. I accidentally Punchmarkoin the face tried to throw out
rock. I don't think that wasan accident. We don't want or need
(05:19):
a cat, please, We wantsomeone who we know and trust. But
we just bet. Yeah, thisis all happening really fast. If you
don't take the cat, we're gonnahave to put her down on the ground
and let her walk to her owner. Oh yeah, just do that.
But we don't want to put herdown on the ground. So carry us
(05:43):
see if I care. Please,this divorce is hard on everyone. We
know that. But someone has totake Feathers. We really don't have time
for a cat. We work twojobs. Remember, Please, what if
we only chudge you hundred dollars?Wait, we have to pay for the
cat. Yeah, and a hundreddollars is a nice even number. So
(06:04):
me and the wife can split itfifty fifty, literally fifty dollars and fifty
dollars. No, we get howto split one hundred dollars evenly. Please,
we can't take the cat. Please, she's dying. The cat's dying,
dying to get into a new home. Jesus, please, we beg
(06:25):
you look at me on my knees. Now, please take a little feathers.
Will you two leave and never botherus again? Yeah, I'll even
pull my shirt over my face soyou don't have to see me. Ever,
you don't have to do that,but fine, Case we're getting a
cat. Yeah, we're getting thecat. Twenty minutes later and the cup
(07:03):
Doctor's got a new cat. Bye, feathers. Mamma loves you, and
so does Papa and Aunt Margaret andJohnny and Earl Stevens. Who are those
people? People? Feathers nose?Oh, thanks again, and we promise
you'll never see us again. Look, I'm already pulling my shirt up over
(07:24):
my face. Cool. I can'tbelieve we got a cat. I just
wanted them out of our apartment.The next day, Case and Time went
(07:53):
to their pet store to find somecat toys for their new feeline friend.
I hope feathers like all these newtoys we got her, she beat her.
They were super expensive. But asthey coughed, doctors walked to their
apartment, they saw the landlord,mister Butterfield. Hello, mister Butterfield,
(08:20):
Hello, Justin's what a glorious day. It is sure a lot better than
yesterday. Why what happened yesterday?The new neighbors sold us their cat because
they're getting a divorce. What newneighbors? The ones who moved in next
door to us, Fellas, Noone's lived in that department for over six
(08:43):
years. But what about Marco andCassandra aka Polo? I don't know who
those people are. Wait a second, you said they sold you a cat.
Yeah, feathers, feathers the cat. These people didn't happen to be
in there early to mid forties andhave dark hair, did they? Yeah?
(09:07):
Did the man have a mustache?And was the woman wearing a pink
lion shirt? Yeah? Fellows,you've been bamboozled. They're not really married,
and they don't live here. Theywork at a cat adoption agency and
this week the people with the mostcats adopted once a year supplies frozen yogurt.
(09:30):
What how do you know all this? I kicked them out of the
complex when they were trying to getmiss Humphries an apartment three to six to
adopt a cute little Siamese cat.Well, I hope so. So they
were never our neighbors and now wehave a random cat. Yeah, but
Case Feathers is pretty cute. You'reright, so you're going to keep the
(09:56):
cat. It's either they're kill it. I think they're alva options. I
think we'll keep it. Yeah,she is cute. You do know there's
a pet fee? What a hundreddollars? Me and my wife split it
fifty fifty, literally fifty for me, but no, we know how to
split one hundred dollars evenly. Well, leave it in the mailbox, thanks,
(10:26):
son of a bitch. Now we'reout over two hundred dollars for a
cat we didn't even want case.Look at the bright side, what bright
side? At least they weren't lizardpeople, Cop Doctor Cop Doctors. Written
by Robert M. Lamb, editedby Jordan Zuchanic, starring Jack Austin as
(10:50):
just in Case and Robert M.Lamb as Just in Time. Po starring
Alexander Dotty. Rachel's him and NathanWoods. Music provided by Kevin McLeod of
incompetech dot com. If you enjoyedthis podcast, don't forget to rate and
review, and visit www dot sevenlamb dot com for more podcasts such as
(11:13):
this one. This has been aseven Lamb production.
Seven. Lamb Productions Presents Cop DoctorsEpisode twenty seven, New Neighbors. Hey,
(00:32):
Case, do you think lizard peopleare real? Lizard people? Yeah,
like people who are actually lizards,or people dressed like lizards who dresses
like a lizard who is a lizard. It was Sunday night in the Cop
Doctors hid the night off. Ijust think if lizard people were real,
(00:52):
we would know, so then they'renot real. Yeah, I guess that's
good. Real lizard people would probablybe scary. Who could that be?
Hello? Hello, My name isMarco and I'm Pollom. Just kidding,
(01:17):
we're goofy. My name's Cassiandra.We're your new next door neighbors right across
the hall. Oh, nice tomeet you. My name's Justin Case and
this is my roommate slash coworker,just In Time. Oh wow, you
guys have the same first name.That's great. I wish my name was
(01:38):
the same. That's who huh?I don't know? Sure? Okay,
we baked you a pie. Hopeyou like me? You made us a
meat pie? Yeah? Um,would you too like to come in?
That would be lovely. Marco andCassandra entered the apartment. Meat pie in
(01:59):
hand. Do you have a placeI can set this pie, Maybe like
a pedestal or a balcony railing,or a corner of a bookshelf. We
have a kitchen counter, Oh,that'd be perfect. We had all our
counters removed. Why. We liketo skip around the house, especially to
the kitchen, and we found thecounters to be limiting since we both have
(02:20):
long strides, you know, notreally well, look at my legs,
then look at mine. Oh nice, pretty long? Huh yeah, I
guess so. Word on the streetis is that you two are cops during
the day and doctors at night.That's true. How wonderful. Sorry if
(02:43):
this is personal, but have youever shot anyone? Yeah? All the
time. It's fun. Nice bangbang bang. Marco here works for the
parks department. He's a whiz whenit comes to his stalling water fountains and
trees. That I'm a dast dripper. I never worked past four pm.
Oh is the money good? Notreally a lot of money in trees.
(03:07):
I meant with the day stripping,I make only quarters. I like what
you've done with your place? Isthis real oak? This one here?
The glass table? Ah? Rightright? Where's your study? We don't
(03:27):
have a study. You have astudy. We made our bedroom a study.
Where do you sleep in the den? Is it big enough? Our
den is small? Yeah, ofcourse. And we both sleep in full
size beds on top of each other, like bunk beds. No, just
straight on top of each other.Doesn't that make it hard to breathe?
No, I sleep on top.It can be hard. Yeah, sometimes
(03:50):
it's really hard to breathe. Youshould sleep on top. Two. No,
it wouldn't work. Both of ourlegs are too long, remember,
uh huh, yeah I do.But honestly, we came over here because
we have some news. Oh yeah, we're we're getting divorced. Oh we
(04:12):
thought you should know why. Wejust don't love each other anymore. No,
why do you think we should knowthat? But it's more than that.
Cassandra here is sleeping with a lotof men, and so am I.
So you're gay, that's why you'regetting a divorce. Whoa there,
buddy, Relax, homophope much whatyou said you were sleeping with guys?
(04:34):
Yeah, but so is she?She's a girl. You're walking on very
thin ice, my man, sinice. There's more we have to tell
you. But why because you're ourneighbors. We have a favor to ask
what we can't decide on who getsto keep the cat? What? What
(04:56):
cat? Our cat? Her nameis Feathers. Feathers. We were wondering
if maybe you could keep her.What? Why can't you two just rock
paper scissors for it. We tried, but we don't know how to play.
It's not hard. I accidentally Punchmarkoin the face tried to throw out
rock. I don't think that wasan accident. We don't want or need
(05:19):
a cat, please, We wantsomeone who we know and trust. But
we just bet. Yeah, thisis all happening really fast. If you
don't take the cat, we're gonnahave to put her down on the ground
and let her walk to her owner. Oh yeah, just do that.
But we don't want to put herdown on the ground. So carry us
(05:43):
see if I care. Please,this divorce is hard on everyone. We
know that. But someone has totake Feathers. We really don't have time
for a cat. We work twojobs. Remember, Please, what if
we only chudge you hundred dollars?Wait, we have to pay for the
cat. Yeah, and a hundreddollars is a nice even number. So
(06:04):
me and the wife can split itfifty fifty, literally fifty dollars and fifty
dollars. No, we get howto split one hundred dollars evenly. Please,
we can't take the cat. Please, she's dying. The cat's dying,
dying to get into a new home. Jesus, please, we beg
(06:25):
you look at me on my knees. Now, please take a little feathers.
Will you two leave and never botherus again? Yeah, I'll even
pull my shirt over my face soyou don't have to see me. Ever,
you don't have to do that,but fine, Case we're getting a
cat. Yeah, we're getting thecat. Twenty minutes later and the cup
(07:03):
Doctor's got a new cat. Bye, feathers. Mamma loves you, and
so does Papa and Aunt Margaret andJohnny and Earl Stevens. Who are those
people? People? Feathers nose?Oh, thanks again, and we promise
you'll never see us again. Look, I'm already pulling my shirt up over
(07:24):
my face. Cool. I can'tbelieve we got a cat. I just
wanted them out of our apartment.The next day, Case and Time went
(07:53):
to their pet store to find somecat toys for their new feeline friend.
I hope feathers like all these newtoys we got her, she beat her.
They were super expensive. But asthey coughed, doctors walked to their
apartment, they saw the landlord,mister Butterfield. Hello, mister Butterfield,
(08:20):
Hello, Justin's what a glorious day. It is sure a lot better than
yesterday. Why what happened yesterday?The new neighbors sold us their cat because
they're getting a divorce. What newneighbors? The ones who moved in next
door to us, Fellas, Noone's lived in that department for over six
(08:43):
years. But what about Marco andCassandra aka Polo? I don't know who
those people are. Wait a second, you said they sold you a cat.
Yeah, feathers, feathers the cat. These people didn't happen to be
in there early to mid forties andhave dark hair, did they? Yeah?
(09:07):
Did the man have a mustache?And was the woman wearing a pink
lion shirt? Yeah? Fellows,you've been bamboozled. They're not really married,
and they don't live here. Theywork at a cat adoption agency and
this week the people with the mostcats adopted once a year supplies frozen yogurt.
(09:30):
What how do you know all this? I kicked them out of the
complex when they were trying to getmiss Humphries an apartment three to six to
adopt a cute little Siamese cat.Well, I hope so. So they
were never our neighbors and now wehave a random cat. Yeah, but
Case Feathers is pretty cute. You'reright, so you're going to keep the
(09:56):
cat. It's either they're kill it. I think they're alva options. I
think we'll keep it. Yeah,she is cute. You do know there's
a pet fee? What a hundreddollars? Me and my wife split it
fifty fifty, literally fifty for me, but no, we know how to
split one hundred dollars evenly. Well, leave it in the mailbox, thanks,
(10:26):
son of a bitch. Now we'reout over two hundred dollars for a
cat we didn't even want case.Look at the bright side, what bright
side? At least they weren't lizardpeople, Cop Doctor Cop Doctors. Written
by Robert M. Lamb, editedby Jordan Zuchanic, starring Jack Austin as
(10:50):
just in Case and Robert M.Lamb as Just in Time. Po starring
Alexander Dotty. Rachel's him and NathanWoods. Music provided by Kevin McLeod of
incompetech dot com. If you enjoyedthis podcast, don't forget to rate and
review, and visit www dot sevenlamb dot com for more podcasts such as
(11:13):
this one. This has been aseven Lamb production.
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