Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hey everyone, Robert here, Iplayed just in time on Cop Doctors.
I know what you're thinking. Whatno way, you sound completely different.
That's crazy. You must have takenawesome acting classes. Well no I didn't.
I'm just that good anyway. I'mnot here to talk about how great
(00:20):
at acting I am doing. I'mhere to let you guys know we had
an issue with the latest episode ofCop Doctors. It turns out we here
at seven Lamb forgot to pay ouryearly bill for sound effects, so we
didn't have time to get sounds forthis episode. But do not fret,
you lovely bunch of coconuts. Jackand I talked about it, and we
came up with a quick solution todo all the sound effects ourselves. Holy
(00:44):
shit, that's right. All thesound effects will be done by us.
Hope you enjoy seven Land Productions PresentsCough Doctors, Episode twenty eight. Hang
(01:07):
pongeepepepep scalpel. Here you are doctor. It was needing midnight, but the
doctors will hut at work trying toremove tennis balls from a man's annual cavity.
(01:33):
How did he get them stuck inthere? Apparently cheated on his wife
Ivanka Meyer, the two time GrandSlam winner. She's got a heck of
a backhand. I guess that explainshow they're so far up there and they're
not easy getting out. It beatsthat woman we helped yesterday. Hell,
she's still recovering the stripper with theping pong balls. Yeah, she had
(01:55):
so many uppercucie time be professional,use technical terms. Sorry her pussy,
thank you. Keep keep And there'sanother one. Case yanked out a third
tennis ball from the man's asshole.There's gotta be an easier way. We
(02:15):
could always jump on his stomach.Why's that always your first idea when it
comes to stuff being up people's assesand pussies? Because we've never tried it,
but by golly, I think itcould work. As Case was just
about to grab another ball, gunshotsrang out. Pop. What thee?
What was that? I don't know. There's Betty keep an eye on the
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patient. I'll keep both on him. Popa time and Case went into the
lobby where people were covering in fear. Three armed men were at the front
desk near another man on a stretcher. What's going on here? I'll tell
you what's going on. Our boyhere was shot and we need a doctor
to look at him a sap.And if you don't get the attention he
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needs, then we're gonna shoot everyonein here. Oh my god, shut
up you hey, relax, we'lllook at your friend. Just don't harm
these people. Fine, but nofunny business, Sam, Keep watch,
Carlson, watch the back entrance.No one gets in or out until Manny's
back on his feet. Case andtime grabbed the stretch out with the injured
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men. Clink. You two listenhere, and you listen good. If
Manny somehow doesn't make it well,then neither will you two? Got it?
You mean if your friend Manny dies, you'll kill us. That's exactly
what I mean. Then yeah,we understand. I got it. Good,
let's go. Five minutes later andthe coup doctors had wheeled Manny into
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the e. Manny was shot tentimes, just narrowly beating fifty cent How
did this happen? Someone shot him? Yes? But why? Oh you'd
like to know, wouldn't you.Well, it ain't happening. We're gonna
help my boy and then get thehell out of here, and you better
do it fast before the cops arrive. Little did the bad guy. Know
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the cops were already here time andcase they were cups too, But did
you forget? Did you forget?Listener? We're gonna help him, but
was it really necessary to hold upthe entire hospital. They tried to put
us on a waiting list, tryto make us fill out all kinds of
paperwork. Then they threatened to callthe cops. Well, look, who's
gonna call the cops now? Youno, no one? Ah? That
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was my second guess. All you'redoing is causing a scene. Enough talk
out of you too, Help Manny? Now, well, help manny because
we took the doctors. Oh notbecause you're holding a gun to our heads,
but so kind of because of thegun to our heads. Anyway,
let's get to work, peepe.The cup duct us ended up removing most
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of the bullets. Here we go, it's number nine. We call that
a full fifty cent. And nowfor the last one, which is tricky,
why because it's lodged in his spine. You better help him? Where
I swarm wearing doesn't bother me,I used to day us. See just
then they swung open. Hell,what's going on? We done here?
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Not yet? Well, the policeare outside they're surrounding the building. How
they know someone wants to tip themoff? Shit? You get ahold of
the boss. Boss is working ongetting us a chop her out of here.
Good, go make sure no onegets out. We may need some
hostages for a clean getaway. Yougot it, Al, Your name is
Al. Actually it's Alfonso, butas Paul Simon so elegantly put it,
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you can call me Al. Ithought chevy Chase sing that song. You
thought chevy Chase could sing? No, but I thought he did it.
Anyway, Enough chatting back to work. We need more time. There isn't
more time. The cup doctors scrambledto get the last bullet out. They
even called on Nurse Betty, althoughthey didn't want to put her in harm's
way, but they really needed someoneto hand them a scalpel. Scalpel here
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you are, doctor Um all better? Well, the chopper is here,
it is. Can't you hear it? Oh? Yeah, I do now
faintly, Sam get Carlson man.He's ready. Okay, And as for
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you, I'll grabbed Nurse Betty byher scrub. You're coming with us?
No, yes, I'll ordered NurseBetty to push the cat out the door.
Case, we have to do something. Nurse Betty is in trouble.
If they get to the chopper,then we've lost I know, but what
are we gonna do? We don'thave our guns. Remember he said we
needed to clean them, and nowthey're hanging from the clothes line outside our
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place. I know. Damn whata bad day to clean our guns.
And they have machine guns. It'snot like we can just walk up and
karate chop, but we need somethinglong range. Yeah, but what can
we? Wait a second? Ihave an idea. They rushed into the
next operating room with the man wepennis balls up his butt sat still knocked
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out. Damn it, I washoping he was awake. Oh, come
on, time? What was theplan? Having fired tennis balls out of
his ass and an attempt to bombardthe bad guys long enough for one of
us to swoop in, disarmed themand rescue Nurse Betty. That wouldn't work.
I mean maybe, but he's outcold this way, Time and Case
rush to Cherry Blossoms room. I'msorry, what we need your pussy,
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but like in a non offensive,perverted way, and how we don't have
much time to explain? There arebad guys who have one of our nurses
hostage. We need projectiles to attack. We need your pussy. I don't
know. I'd love to help you, but I haven't used my pussy in
over two weeks. I don't evenknow if I can anymore. Don't say
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that. Yeah, if anyone inthis hospital can use their pussy, it's
you. You used to do funbackstage shows. Yeah, and we heard
you was so good with ping pongballs that it put forward his gump to
shake. We also heard you wereonce able to hit Marc five. Actually
it was Mark four and a half. I mean still, but that was
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that was so long ago, waybefore the accident. The accident where you
fell on a whole can of pingpong balls, The accident which saw you
so backed up you couldn't even pee, The accident that saw you reach out
for help here from us, Isee what you're saying. You did help
me. If it wasn't for youtoo, I'd still have a full pussy
of plastic. Okay, I'll help, But there's just one problem. What
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I'm still very weak from surgery.I have an idea for that time.
No, we have to thing thebad guys were already at the elevators waiting
for the ride. Come on,where's this elevator? Hey all, what
the It's one of the doctors.But why is he standing on a stretcher
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with a naked woman with her legsopen. I'll show you why. Just
then, Time jumped up in ontwo cherries belly Life dark. The bad
guys ducked behind many stritcha. Holyshit, she's locked and loaded. What
do we do, boss, fire? Time jumped quick on Cherry's belly,
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even doing a little Irish dance.I'm going as fast as I can.
The bad guy known as Carlson washit right in the eye and slammed against
the fire extinguisher, his head splitin two on the sharp edge. Fo
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we got them pinned down, getup and moved me forward. I thought
you needed my belly pushes, Notanymore. I can do this one on
my own. Matt bab here,I come. Hell yeah. Then Time
jumped down and pushed the stretcher forwardas Cherry Blossom continued to fire ping pong
balls. Worst case, he's gotto get Nurse Betty right here. Tennis
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balls. Case slid around the cornerwith the man's ass up in the air.
He was pressing the man's stomick frombeneath. You are right, Time,
you are right. Both kiss andtime approached rambles. Both a tennis
ball and pink pop ball hit thebad guy Sam in his eyes with such
(11:16):
a fuss his eyes literally exploded.It was as you would say, Gonali,
No, I jumped up, firingwildly. Ry listen for you,
mom. Cherry spun around onto herstomach and fired from behind. Ah,
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it went right through Al's fucking skull. Jesus Christ. You okay, Nurse
Betty, I am now that wassome fine shooting. Cherry, thank you
so much. I'm just glad Icould help. What's going on here?
(12:11):
It turned out that the bad Guyswere a notorious gang that robbed several banks
and murdered three victims. When Moneywoke up, they gave him the electric
chair. The cop doctors were tornbecause they spent so much time saving his
life only to have him electrocuted.But hey, he was the bad guy,
(12:33):
so whatever. Cherry Blossom went backto stripping, but decided to give
ping pong bowls a break. Gary, the guy with the ass, divorced
his thinn style wife and married askateboarder. He cheated on her too,
and well, his asses even wider. Now. Nurse Betty eventually went back
to nursing and the cop doctors well, they went back to being extremely fucking
(12:58):
off. Some Coup Doctor Cop DoctorsWritten by Robert M. Lamb, Edited
by Amber Simpson and Robert M.Lamb, starring Jack Austin as Justin Case
(13:24):
and Robert M. Lamb as JustinTimes. Co starring Daniel Ketchum Hope,
Ennis Ashley Yorke, Frett Wilkins,and Kim. Music provided by Kevin McCloud
of incompetech dot com. If youenjoy this podcast, don't forget to rate
and review and visit www dot sevenlamb dot com for more podcasts such as
(13:48):
this one. This has been aseven live production.