November 23, 2022 • 10 mins
Time and Case have to deal with a bratty kid and his weird Make-a-Wish wish.
Music:
"ZigZag" and "Funky Chunk" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Music:
"ZigZag" and "Funky Chunk" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Seven, Lamb Productions Presents Cough Doctors, Episode twenty nine, Make a Witch.
(00:25):
Now listen here, Timmy, notonly do you have to take your
pills, but you also have tostop unplugging the monitor. Why don't you
just leave me alone because I'm yourdoctor. A lot of good that does.
You can't even keep me healthy.You suck one time, and only
for money. See. Hey,we're trying our hardest here. Don't be
a little brat. I'll be whateverI want to be. I keep getting
(00:48):
sicker anyway, even if I takethe pills. Case, let me handle
this to make your way to talk. Man the man, he just called
me a brat. Well, inall fairness, you are a brad.
You've been one ever since you arrived. But I'm trying to level with you.
We're trying to take care of you. Your family's worried about you.
You need to eat, you needto take your pills. You need to
(01:08):
stop getting up and hiding and scaringthe nurses. You need to stop on
plugging everything, and you need tostop with the spit balls. That wasn't
me. Listen, I know thisis hard for you, do you do
you know? Because I'm dying andno one could do anything about it,
and I've been stuck in my bedall day every day. You guys want
to stop the only fun I getto have. You scared one of the
(01:29):
nurses so bad she shit herself.No, my fault, she didn't go
potty before she got here. Okay, you know what, kid, enough's
enough. You need to start behaving. You need to start behaving now.
I don't have to do anything wellyour little case, Relax, Relax,
he's doing this on purpose. Timeand Case had been spending a lot of
time with the youngest patient today,little Timmy. Timmy was seventeen, not
(01:51):
so young, but young enough.If he was seventeen where I come from,
he would have already chosen three wivesand had fourteen children and they're good.
Whatever. What do I know?In American Land? He was a
child. What am I gonna doabout him? Time? I don't know.
I think he knows he still needsto take his medicine, But does
(02:12):
he really see? Little Timmy wasterminally ill, but the coup doctor were
trying the damn this to make himbetter. Excuse me, doctor, so
are you doctor? Time? Indoctor case, we are? I'm Harvey
Gleco from the Make a Wish Foundation. I'm here on the account of poor
little Timmy. He's seventeen. Okay, well we gret wishes for kids still
er eighteen, he's still a littleboy in our eyes. Fine, well
(02:34):
he's inside. May I see him? Sure, but watch out. He
loves his pranks, especially spit bossand scaring people. He's a bit rambunctious,
mister Gleco. Don't worry. Iwon't be along. Just gonna make
a little man's dream come true.Ha told you you did. They did
tell me you're a rambuncious little fellhot. Now, please, doctors,
I'd like a little time with poordying Timmy here, okay, time end
(02:59):
case waited in the hallway. Whatdo you think he'll wish for? Rob
let us say some celebrity or someshit like Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow or
Amber heard as a giant turd.Or maybe he'll just wish for some more
paper to make spitballs. One minutelater, mister Gleco, come out,
Everything go all right in there.You didn't try to tip you with the
monitor cable, did he? No? He was very cordial and his wish
(03:22):
is one of the easiest we've everhad to work with. What did he
ask for? Well, he wantsyou to to kiss? What? Timmy,
what the hell are you doing,your little bastard? Guys? Please,
mister Gleco, what's going on?Why are my doctors so mad?
Does this mean they're not going tokiss? Of course they'll kiss, the
(03:43):
hell they will. You're doing thisjust to be a jerk. No,
I really want to see you kisseach other. Guys, he just wants
to see you kiss. What kindof wishes? That an easy one?
Now do it? No, actually, it is really easy. We don't
need to prepper or make any callsyou too, Just do it right now,
like, turn to face each otherand go on in French, French
or regular, whatever you want todo. No French, I want them
(04:05):
to French hard. He wants youa French hardfellas we heard him, We
are not kissing. Why not wishfor something different, something more normal?
I'm not normal, of course you'renormal. Tell him he's normal, doctors.
No, why not wish to meeta celebrity like Chris Evans or Daniel
Craig, or Johnny Depp or Johnnydepp sex girlfriend? Amber heard No,
(04:27):
I heard her career has really shitthe bed. That was pretty good.
Why not dress this Batman for aday and stop a villain? No,
I don't even like Batman. IfI was to be a superhero, I
would be Megatron. It's not evena superhero. Should I know? You're
just playing dumb? No? Ireally am dumb, and I can't play
(04:47):
because I'm permanently ill terminally. What'sthe difference, I mean, it really
isn't one. Guys, leave himalone, mister Gleco. All I wanted
was for my two doctors to kiss. That's all. That was my one
and only wish. Please, misterGleco, make it come true. Make
me a happy boy. Gentlemen,it's his final wish. Are you going
(05:10):
to take that from him? Doyou want to see this young man happy?
We are not kissing. It doesn'teven have to last long. No,
I want it to last at leastten seconds. Oh okay, he
wants it to last at least tenseconds. We can hear him. That's
a long ass kiss. But it'llgo buy fast, get it over with,
get a quick back. No,I want tongue. Oh okay,
he wants tongue, Just French hardfor ten seconds, what the hell is
(05:32):
wrong with you? What are youguys? Homophobes? Just do it?
Yeah, don't be homophobes. It'sjust you know, we aren't gay.
You don't have to be gay.We're not kissing. Fine one second,
let me talk to my constituent,real quick. Constituent, Mister Gleco g
lapped over to Timmy's bedside. Theywhisper back end forth a few times.
(05:56):
Okay, doctors, Timmy has anew wish. He wants I guess me
to tap doctor times little bud.He wants you to what. He wants
me to tap your little booty.Just a playful little tap tap on the
back side will make him very happy. No way, actually, time,
Maybe that's not such a big deal. We don't have to French hard now.
No, I don't want mister Glecotapping my little booty. How long
(06:16):
is the tap? I don't know, at least ten seconds. That is
not a tap. You guys arebeing totally unreasonable. We are This whole
thing seems ridiculous. Something's not righthere. No, no, let me
see some I d mister Harvey Glecoid ID I don't have to show you
any stinking id are you who yousay you really are? Yes, I
(06:39):
say who I really am. Waita second, those shoes that belt,
those eyelashes? Yes, Oh mygod, you're not Harvey Gleco. You're
just then time pulled off Gleco's mustache, Our captain. Well, damn it
all that Hell's looks like it caughtme, you, sexy captain? What
(07:00):
are you doing here? Isn't itobvious? I dressed up as Harvey Gleck
Oh so I could coerce this fineyoung gentleman to convince you to be the
sweet little spark lug that you are. I internally jumped with glee when you
turned down his first wish because thesecond one was so much better. I
just want to touch you a littlebutt time. It's all I want to
do, touch a little butt.But it's all I've ever wanted. But
you are not touching my butt.Well you relax, It's not like I
(07:21):
want to touch the hole, justthe outside butt. No. How'd you
convince Timmy to go along with allthis? Yeah? Well he's a brat
and I gave him twenty bucks.I'm gonna buy a fire truck with all
that money. You're seventeen. Fuckyou? No, fuck you. Fuck
you guys. Stop Captain. Youunderstand that this is all very inappropriate and
(07:41):
sends the wrong message. I don'tthink I follow. I'm not into you,
Captain. I love Nurse Betty Ah, and I find this all to
be very worrisome. I really don'tsee why. I just I just want
to place my hand on your buttfor I don't know, like ten seconds.
Just two things, my hand andyour butt meeting for ten second.
That's all I ask of you.Yes, but you're married. I'm not
(08:03):
gay or bye, and even ifI were, I think I could do
better than you. There I saidit. Oh, well, we all
know that isn't true. I'm acaptain, a captain of the police,
so so you couldn't do any betterthan me. There's no way I think
that's actually accurate. Time, Yeah, it's accurate. He gave me twenty
dollars. Do you get the fireshock I can buy? Timmy, you're
seventeen. Stop saying oh old Iam. I know already and that's your
(08:26):
age of damn twat. I hateyou, guys. I don't care what
anyone says. I know I coulddo better, but it doesn't even matter.
I'm not interested. So no,captain, you don't get to slap
my little butt. Who said anythingabout slapping? I just said tapping,
tapping, little tap tap either way, No, fine, destroy this child's
wish. It wasn't his wish,it was yours. Sure, yeah,
(08:48):
that made me true, But youknow what isn't true that my hand won't
be on your little booty at somepoint. What you heard me? Now,
I'm gonna go. I'll see youdick wits tomorrow. Peace. Well,
that whole thing was annoying. Iagree to, even though I did
get some awesome firetruck money. JesusChrist, Timmy, You're seventeen. Stop
(09:09):
buying toys. I'm dying. Fuckyou, fuck you. I hope what
I have is contagious. It's doI want another? Make a wish?
Did call someone? Fuck you?Fuck you? Cop Doctor, Cop Doctors
Written and edited by Robert M.Lamb, starring Jack Austin as justin Case
(09:31):
and Robert M. Lamb as justinTime, co starring Kim s and Jack
Austin as a bunch of other characters. Music provided by Kevin McLeod of incompetech
dot Com. If you enjoy thispodcast, don't forget to rate and review,
and visit www dot seven lamb dotcom for more podcasts such as this
(09:52):
one. This has been a sevenlam production.
Seven, Lamb Productions Presents Cough Doctors, Episode twenty nine, Make a Witch.
(00:25):
Now listen here, Timmy, notonly do you have to take your
pills, but you also have tostop unplugging the monitor. Why don't you
just leave me alone because I'm yourdoctor. A lot of good that does.
You can't even keep me healthy.You suck one time, and only
for money. See. Hey,we're trying our hardest here. Don't be
a little brat. I'll be whateverI want to be. I keep getting
(00:48):
sicker anyway, even if I takethe pills. Case, let me handle
this to make your way to talk. Man the man, he just called
me a brat. Well, inall fairness, you are a brad.
You've been one ever since you arrived. But I'm trying to level with you.
We're trying to take care of you. Your family's worried about you.
You need to eat, you needto take your pills. You need to
(01:08):
stop getting up and hiding and scaringthe nurses. You need to stop on
plugging everything, and you need tostop with the spit balls. That wasn't
me. Listen, I know thisis hard for you, do you do
you know? Because I'm dying andno one could do anything about it,
and I've been stuck in my bedall day every day. You guys want
to stop the only fun I getto have. You scared one of the
(01:29):
nurses so bad she shit herself.No, my fault, she didn't go
potty before she got here. Okay, you know what, kid, enough's
enough. You need to start behaving. You need to start behaving now.
I don't have to do anything wellyour little case, Relax, Relax,
he's doing this on purpose. Timeand Case had been spending a lot of
time with the youngest patient today,little Timmy. Timmy was seventeen, not
(01:51):
so young, but young enough.If he was seventeen where I come from,
he would have already chosen three wivesand had fourteen children and they're good.
Whatever. What do I know?In American Land? He was a
child. What am I gonna doabout him? Time? I don't know.
I think he knows he still needsto take his medicine, But does
(02:12):
he really see? Little Timmy wasterminally ill, but the coup doctor were
trying the damn this to make himbetter. Excuse me, doctor, so
are you doctor? Time? Indoctor case, we are? I'm Harvey
Gleco from the Make a Wish Foundation. I'm here on the account of poor
little Timmy. He's seventeen. Okay, well we gret wishes for kids still
er eighteen, he's still a littleboy in our eyes. Fine, well
(02:34):
he's inside. May I see him? Sure, but watch out. He
loves his pranks, especially spit bossand scaring people. He's a bit rambunctious,
mister Gleco. Don't worry. Iwon't be along. Just gonna make
a little man's dream come true.Ha told you you did. They did
tell me you're a rambuncious little fellhot. Now, please, doctors,
I'd like a little time with poordying Timmy here, okay, time end
(02:59):
case waited in the hallway. Whatdo you think he'll wish for? Rob
let us say some celebrity or someshit like Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow or
Amber heard as a giant turd.Or maybe he'll just wish for some more
paper to make spitballs. One minutelater, mister Gleco, come out,
Everything go all right in there.You didn't try to tip you with the
monitor cable, did he? No? He was very cordial and his wish
(03:22):
is one of the easiest we've everhad to work with. What did he
ask for? Well, he wantsyou to to kiss? What? Timmy,
what the hell are you doing,your little bastard? Guys? Please,
mister Gleco, what's going on?Why are my doctors so mad?
Does this mean they're not going tokiss? Of course they'll kiss, the
(03:43):
hell they will. You're doing thisjust to be a jerk. No,
I really want to see you kisseach other. Guys, he just wants
to see you kiss. What kindof wishes? That an easy one?
Now do it? No, actually, it is really easy. We don't
need to prepper or make any callsyou too, Just do it right now,
like, turn to face each otherand go on in French, French
or regular, whatever you want todo. No French, I want them
(04:05):
to French hard. He wants youa French hardfellas we heard him, We
are not kissing. Why not wishfor something different, something more normal?
I'm not normal, of course you'renormal. Tell him he's normal, doctors.
No, why not wish to meeta celebrity like Chris Evans or Daniel
Craig, or Johnny Depp or Johnnydepp sex girlfriend? Amber heard No,
(04:27):
I heard her career has really shitthe bed. That was pretty good.
Why not dress this Batman for aday and stop a villain? No,
I don't even like Batman. IfI was to be a superhero, I
would be Megatron. It's not evena superhero. Should I know? You're
just playing dumb? No? Ireally am dumb, and I can't play
(04:47):
because I'm permanently ill terminally. What'sthe difference, I mean, it really
isn't one. Guys, leave himalone, mister Gleco. All I wanted
was for my two doctors to kiss. That's all. That was my one
and only wish. Please, misterGleco, make it come true. Make
me a happy boy. Gentlemen,it's his final wish. Are you going
(05:10):
to take that from him? Doyou want to see this young man happy?
We are not kissing. It doesn'teven have to last long. No,
I want it to last at leastten seconds. Oh okay, he
wants it to last at least tenseconds. We can hear him. That's
a long ass kiss. But it'llgo buy fast, get it over with,
get a quick back. No,I want tongue. Oh okay,
he wants tongue, Just French hardfor ten seconds, what the hell is
(05:32):
wrong with you? What are youguys? Homophobes? Just do it?
Yeah, don't be homophobes. It'sjust you know, we aren't gay.
You don't have to be gay.We're not kissing. Fine one second,
let me talk to my constituent,real quick. Constituent, Mister Gleco g
lapped over to Timmy's bedside. Theywhisper back end forth a few times.
(05:56):
Okay, doctors, Timmy has anew wish. He wants I guess me
to tap doctor times little bud.He wants you to what. He wants
me to tap your little booty.Just a playful little tap tap on the
back side will make him very happy. No way, actually, time,
Maybe that's not such a big deal. We don't have to French hard now.
No, I don't want mister Glecotapping my little booty. How long
(06:16):
is the tap? I don't know, at least ten seconds. That is
not a tap. You guys arebeing totally unreasonable. We are This whole
thing seems ridiculous. Something's not righthere. No, no, let me
see some I d mister Harvey Glecoid ID I don't have to show you
any stinking id are you who yousay you really are? Yes, I
(06:39):
say who I really am. Waita second, those shoes that belt,
those eyelashes? Yes, Oh mygod, you're not Harvey Gleco. You're
just then time pulled off Gleco's mustache, Our captain. Well, damn it
all that Hell's looks like it caughtme, you, sexy captain? What
(07:00):
are you doing here? Isn't itobvious? I dressed up as Harvey Gleck
Oh so I could coerce this fineyoung gentleman to convince you to be the
sweet little spark lug that you are. I internally jumped with glee when you
turned down his first wish because thesecond one was so much better. I
just want to touch you a littlebutt time. It's all I want to
do, touch a little butt.But it's all I've ever wanted. But
you are not touching my butt.Well you relax, It's not like I
(07:21):
want to touch the hole, justthe outside butt. No. How'd you
convince Timmy to go along with allthis? Yeah? Well he's a brat
and I gave him twenty bucks.I'm gonna buy a fire truck with all
that money. You're seventeen. Fuckyou? No, fuck you. Fuck
you guys. Stop Captain. Youunderstand that this is all very inappropriate and
(07:41):
sends the wrong message. I don'tthink I follow. I'm not into you,
Captain. I love Nurse Betty Ah, and I find this all to
be very worrisome. I really don'tsee why. I just I just want
to place my hand on your buttfor I don't know, like ten seconds.
Just two things, my hand andyour butt meeting for ten second.
That's all I ask of you.Yes, but you're married. I'm not
(08:03):
gay or bye, and even ifI were, I think I could do
better than you. There I saidit. Oh, well, we all
know that isn't true. I'm acaptain, a captain of the police,
so so you couldn't do any betterthan me. There's no way I think
that's actually accurate. Time, Yeah, it's accurate. He gave me twenty
dollars. Do you get the fireshock I can buy? Timmy, you're
seventeen. Stop saying oh old Iam. I know already and that's your
(08:26):
age of damn twat. I hateyou, guys. I don't care what
anyone says. I know I coulddo better, but it doesn't even matter.
I'm not interested. So no,captain, you don't get to slap
my little butt. Who said anythingabout slapping? I just said tapping,
tapping, little tap tap either way, No, fine, destroy this child's
wish. It wasn't his wish,it was yours. Sure, yeah,
(08:48):
that made me true, But youknow what isn't true that my hand won't
be on your little booty at somepoint. What you heard me? Now,
I'm gonna go. I'll see youdick wits tomorrow. Peace. Well,
that whole thing was annoying. Iagree to, even though I did
get some awesome firetruck money. JesusChrist, Timmy, You're seventeen. Stop
(09:09):
buying toys. I'm dying. Fuckyou, fuck you. I hope what
I have is contagious. It's doI want another? Make a wish?
Did call someone? Fuck you?Fuck you? Cop Doctor, Cop Doctors
Written and edited by Robert M.Lamb, starring Jack Austin as justin Case
(09:31):
and Robert M. Lamb as justinTime, co starring Kim s and Jack
Austin as a bunch of other characters. Music provided by Kevin McLeod of incompetech
dot Com. If you enjoy thispodcast, don't forget to rate and review,
and visit www dot seven lamb dotcom for more podcasts such as this
(09:52):
one. This has been a sevenlam production.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.