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August 12, 2023 13 mins
After laughing at a guy falling, Time realizes he's immature. Luckily, maturity-expert Greg Maddux shows up to offer his services. And no, not THAT Greg Maddux.

Music:

"Funky Chunck", "Honey Bee", "Flutey Funk", "Ritual" and "ZigZag" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Seven Land Productions Presents Cop Doctors Episodethirty. But sure. It was a

(00:28):
Saturday and the Cop Doctor's head off. They had spent the early afternoon perusing
the old mall on Haynes and Flax. They did not need anything, but
they wanted to get out of thehouse. How'd we come to the mall?
All? They sells clothes and wedon't wear anything but uniforms. Yeah,
but I've been thinking maybe we shouldn'twear our uniforms on off days.

(00:49):
Do you think we should be dressingcasual when we're not working? Yeah,
this uniform is uncomfortable. Yeah,you're dressed like a police officer right now,
and I'm dressed like a doctor.Steps open on. All right,
let's go to the gap. Butbefore they could get inside, a goofy
looking man, a real nerdy loser, slipped and fell right by cahan wet

(01:11):
floor sign. His binder, glassesand pencils went flying into the air.
Oh damn. The Cop Doctors couldnot help but laugh, what a goofball,
and I strip see you next time. That's not very nice. They

(01:34):
spun around to see an old womancoming out of the gap. It short
laugh like that, which mean wedidn't trip him. Still, it's very
immature. It is to laugh atsome nerd who falls. Yes, you're
both very immature, young men.I'm thirty years old. Then it's time

(01:56):
for you to grow up. Andwith that, the old lady shuffled off.
Rude. Wow, Why I don'twant to be immature? I'm sorry?
Excuse me, gentlemen? Did youjust say you don't want to be
immature? I did say that.Well, boy, oh boy, aren't

(02:19):
we lucky? I was walking byjust at this moment. My name is
Greg Maddox. I used to throwbaseballs, but now I work on my
new education program to make the immaturemature. Wait a second, the Greg
maddocks. Well, no, notthe one, a different one. But
you said you throw baseballs, Yeah, for fun? You've never thrown a

(02:40):
baseball for fun? Yeah? Sure, but I wouldn't introduce myself that way.
Let me guess you're the immature one. No, we both, but
I don't want to be immature anymore. That old lady made me realize the
error of my ways. Time.You can't be serious, I am.

(03:00):
Well, that's good. It's likemy father always said, immaturity is just
maturity for stupid people. That's wise, sounds dumb, real mature, buddy,
I want help. Well here,Greg Medics gave Time his business cad
call me when you're ready to growup. There's only eight numbers here,

(03:23):
that's right. You have to guessthe last one. If it's meant to
be, you'll figure it out.Meant to be when they figure it out
in like nine tries. Not ifhe's good, Not if he's good.
Greg Maddix pulled a baseball out ofhis pocket and walked off, throwing the
ball up in the air and catchingit like people do when they play with

(03:46):
themselves. Time. Are you serious? I want to be a better person,
but you're a cop and a doctor. It's not enough. The next
day, Time placed a call toGreg Mados. They were to meet up

(04:10):
to talk about maturity. Time.Where you're going. We're supposed to play
over cook two all day to day. I can't play games all day,
Case, I'm trying to be moremature. No more laughing at pratt falls,
playing video games or dick jokes.I'm done with it all time.
No, I'm sorry, Case,but there comes a time in every man's
life where he has to put hispants on his bottom and not his head.

(04:33):
But you always love when I dothat. Not anymore time. Time

(05:02):
went to an upscale cafe on theeastern side of town, just past the
cool looking fountain with the dolphins.Mister Maddox, Oh there he is here,
Have a seat. Wow, I'venever been here before, never been
to a cafe that doesn't surprise me. Let me guess a lot of McDonald's

(05:26):
and TV dinners. Well yeah,but also when we're feeling fancy, me
and Case go to outback steakhouse.Wow. Listen. If you want change,
you need to go to more cafes. Did you bring your kindle?
Yeah, just bought it today.What books did you buy books? Yes?
Books you read on it? Oh, maybe I'll get the new issue
of Daredevil. What ow you slapme? You can't read comic books.

(05:53):
That's not mature than what actual books? You need to read? Something by
Joyce total Stoy Austin. But Idon't know anything by Joyce Tolstaway Austin.
Is that the Fifty Shades a grayChick? No, those are different people.
Oh okay, let's skip the readingfor now. Let's just order some

(06:14):
drinks. Uh waiter, Hello,what can I get you. I'll take
a sprite. What now, stopslapping me. It's not very mature.
Slapping is mature, and I'm slappingyou to teach you a lesson. Sprite.
What are you fourteen with a speechimpediment? You want a shippy cup

(06:36):
in your mamma? Wait, I'mfourteen year old with a sippy cup.
You need to order a real maturedrink. It's one in the afternoon and
we're about to start reading Jane Austen. You know what I have just the
thing, Waiter. You're not goingto slap me, are you? I

(06:57):
don't know. Would you order asp right and read Daredevil on your kindle?
No? Never, I'm fucking matureexactly. You see what I'm talking
about. Time, I do,I really do, waiter. Let us
have two Hemmingway daciries and two ordersof the seared scallops and baby spinach with
spice pomegranate glaze. Wonderful and verymature. I'll be back shortly with your

(07:23):
drinks. See fancy. What's Hemmingway? Is that like a one way street
in New York? All the time? You have so much to learn teach
me. Two weeks later, andtime was still hanging out with Greg Mattox.

(07:53):
He was learning all sorts of waysto be mature, whereas Case was
still sitting on the couch playing Seeof Thieves and scratching his butthole. Oh
what you're leaving again? I toldyou, Case, I like being more
mature. I drink fancy drinks now. I talk about the news and politics,
and I read Austin Steve Jane,Case Jane, so what I could

(08:16):
read if I wanted to. Ijust finished reading the new issue of the
Avengers. Did you know squirrel girls? I can't say it. Ain's so
time say it's so, I haveto go. But is this what you
really want? I think? So? Yeah, I noticed you're not wearing

(08:37):
your uniforms anymore. It's nothing butpolos and buttoned doubts. That's right,
it's not the real you. Itis now. It was slightly raining as

(09:07):
Time and Maddox sat under a largeumbrella, eating olderves and reading a nice
book. See it pays to bemature. Think of all the things you've
accomplished the last two weeks. You'rea better listener, you bought a filing
cabinet, and you don't eat cookiesbefore dinner. Anymore. Yeah, what's
wrong? Time? Aren't you happy? I guess it's just what talk to

(09:33):
me? I just Time was havingtrouble with his words until he saw a
figure approaching in the rain. Itwas Case, wearing pants on his head
and holding up an old boom box. I left uzach Case. It's me.
That boom box isn't playing anything.I know it got wet and stopped

(09:56):
working, but it was queued upto Peter Gaye. Real, really,
do you want me to sing inyour eyes? Because I will? But
why? Because Time? I missyou? What's going on here? But
like Dave Duncan in two thousand andfour, Time dismissed Greg Maddox, he

(10:16):
walked into the rain. Toad's case, you really miss me? I know
you're mature and I'm not. Butyou know what, I don't care,
because I'm just a boy standing infront of a boy asking him to still
be my friend. And it's thisperson standing opposite me now in the rain

(10:37):
who I care about the most.Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed.
Listen, Time, I get thatI'll never be like Ragmatics. I'll
never read Avocado toast or read SteveAustin books. I get that I have
no idea how to file taxes,and no, I'll never talk about the

(10:58):
weather. Hell, I didn't evenknow it was supposed to rain today,
Otherwise I wouldn't have brought the goobox brought right. I'm sorry, case,
you're right, I've been so stupid. This isn't me. You mean
that I do? I like yourpants on your head? You do?

(11:22):
Yeah, it's bunny. Wait asecond, are you serious? He has
pants on his head. That's notmature. I know. So what you're
done? You're not going to continuewith your classes classes? Yeah, you're
on the deluxe plan. I haveto pay for this, of course.
Oh fuck you. Hey, that'snot very mature. It's not my butt,

(11:46):
you snooty bitch. Nice wow,Fine you go, but you'll be
nothing without me. You hear me? Nothing Agmatic shook his fist widely and
spun around, but as he won'tback to the cafe, he slipped and,
feeling the putter a nice trip walkmuch the coop ductors hugged. They're

(12:11):
ready to come home only if weeat cheetos, burp and fart and play
fall guys all night. You're notworried about being immature. Remember what they
say, immaturity is just maturity forstupid thick oh case. I think this

(12:31):
is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Coop Doctor Cop Doctors Written by Robert
M. Lamb, Edited by LoganFerdinand, starring Jack Austin as justin Case

(12:52):
and Robert M. Lamb as Justin Time. Co starring Austin Medlin and
Darryl Lamont Tang. Music provided byKevin McLoud of incompetech dot com. If
you enjoy this podcast, don't forgetto rate and review and visit www dot
seven lamb dot com for more podcastssuch as this one. This has been

(13:24):
a seven Lamb production.
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