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September 30, 2024 13 mins
A random guy asks Time for a time traveling favor. Will Time help, or will he just wait for Case to come back from taking a huge dump?? Listen to find out!!

Music: 

"ZigZag", "Funky Chunk", "Olde Timey" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Additional Tracks:

"Dont Lose Your Grip" by Diamonds And Ice @ Artlist.io
"The Dawning of a New Age" by Ian Post @ Artlist.io
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Seven. Lamb Productions Presents.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Cop Doctors Episode thirty one when Dinosaurs.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Why that was a good operation.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Oh yeah it was.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
And to think we almost lost her.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Not on my watch.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
We went in there and did what needed to be done.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
That kind of work really builds up an appetite.

Speaker 4 (00:41):
Huh, why do you think I got two males?

Speaker 5 (00:44):
It was late, but the cop doctors were having a
late dinner. They had just finished a coronary artery bypass surgery,
a routine surgery, but there were complications, but nothing. The
cop doctors wouldn't.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Huntle I'll be right back, gonna take a huge dump,
have fun.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
I will. Hey, sir, sir, I need your help.

Speaker 5 (01:21):
A sweaty man ran up to the table. He carried
a small remote control like object me.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
Are you talking to me?

Speaker 5 (01:29):
Time looked around, noticing he was the only person in
the cafeteria. Now that case was taking a huge damp.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yes, I need help. What year is it?

Speaker 3 (01:41):
It's twenty twenty four?

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Holy crap, I've done it done. What with this little
remote here? I've gone back in time?

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Whoa really? What time are you from?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
December twenty twenty four?

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Wait, but that's the same year.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, but December.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Even tell you what month it is right now?

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, but I don't see Christmas decorations. Do you see
Christmas decorations?

Speaker 4 (02:06):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:07):
And do you know why? Because it's not December?

Speaker 3 (02:10):
Why would you only come back a few months?

Speaker 6 (02:13):
That was a hiss and it worked, And now I
need to help help for what in the year twenty
twenty five?

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Something bad is going to happen?

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Like what?

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, I can't say.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
It because you're lying.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
I'm not.

Speaker 6 (02:27):
But anything that happens now can change the course of
the future. So I need to be careful for what
I do and sane, prove it, Prove something bad is
going to happen.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Prove that you can travel in time.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Fine.

Speaker 5 (02:43):
The man gripped his tiny ra more tightly, impressed some importons.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Oh yeah, it was hell yeah what was The operation?

Speaker 4 (03:00):
Was a good one, Like you said, we went in
there and did what needed to be done.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Whoa, whoa?

Speaker 5 (03:06):
What time?

Speaker 4 (03:08):
Why are you acting so weird?

Speaker 3 (03:10):
And who where are you?

Speaker 1 (03:14):
My name is Jules, and I live here in.

Speaker 4 (03:17):
This hospital cafeteria.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, sure, all.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
Right, that's weird and I want to ask you a
few more questions, but I gotta take a huge dump.

Speaker 5 (03:33):
It was late, but the cop doctors were having a
late dinner. They had just finished a coronary artery bypass surgery,
a routine surgery, but there were complications, but nothing the
cop doctors couldn't huntle whoa.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Even the narrator said the same shit.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
See, now do you believe me?

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Take me to dinosaurs?

Speaker 6 (03:56):
What?

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Take me to dinosaurs? I want to see dinosaurs.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
We really don't have a lot of time.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
We got plenty of time.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Wait, what are you talking about.

Speaker 7 (04:04):
My name is Time, and you got that thing in
your hands, so we have all the time in the world.
Just crank that thing and let's see what dinosaurs really
look like. I want to know if they had feathers
or if scientists are just bullshitting.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Fine, okay, fine, but then you have to help me.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yeah, yeah, let's go.

Speaker 6 (04:22):
And we have to be careful. Okay, we can't disrupt
too much or it can negatively impact it.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Take me two fucking dinosaurs already.

Speaker 5 (04:29):
All right, Time grabbed his corn bread and stood, hold
on to your butts.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
I only have one.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
There, you're happy?

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Where are we?

Speaker 1 (04:50):
When are we?

Speaker 6 (04:51):
As the proper question, but we are on the same spot.
Sixty five million years ago?

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Whoa, really, what about Pangaea?

Speaker 1 (05:00):
What about Pangaea?

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Shouldn't this all be like an ocean?

Speaker 6 (05:03):
Hey, doctor Allen Ground, why don't you look at your
dinosaurs so you can get the hell out of here?

Speaker 5 (05:08):
Time walked up to a ridge to see a vast
valley of prehistoric creatures.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Holy shit, they do have feathers?

Speaker 1 (05:22):
What really?

Speaker 3 (05:27):
And they can fly, all of.

Speaker 5 (05:28):
Them over the vast valley. Dinosaurs sword, but not just terodonts,
but brachiosaurs in tyrannosaurs and Alberto sauce and delosceraptos and
Edmontosaus and Triceratopsis. Basically, if it was a dinosaur, it

(05:51):
was in the sky zooming around like a seven forty seven.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
They're all in the sky.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Wow, signs just right.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Yeah, but they didn't know that they could fly like this.
If they did, the movie Jurassic Park would have been
more like the movie Gravity.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
But with dinosaurs instead of spices.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Break Yeah, you get it.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
It is crazy that none of them have winnings though.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah, look at that t rex flapping his little t rex.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Arms, and yet he's higher than all the others.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I think there's a lesson here. It doesn't matter how
tiny your arms are. Keep flapping and you can reach
the sky.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
It's deep. Can we go now? Yeah? Good, because I
really need to.

Speaker 7 (06:49):
I want to see Mary Antoinette Watts. I want to
know if she really loves cake.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
No, we can.

Speaker 7 (06:54):
And then I want to meet Gehis Khan and tell
him there's a Pokemon named after him.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
No.

Speaker 7 (06:58):
And then I want to go to the theater where Lincoln
was shot. And I want to tell Nikola Tesla that
he has a car. And I want to save van
Go from cutting off his ear. And I want to
dress in.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
Drag with Shakespeare. And I want to see Avengers Endgame again.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
But you can just buy the movie.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Ooh, and I want to meet Jesus. Can we meet Jesus?

Speaker 1 (07:16):
No? No, no, no, no no no.

Speaker 6 (07:18):
You have to help me with my mission, which is
what we have to kill Hitler.

Speaker 5 (07:30):
Jules and Tim are transported to a playground with several
little boys swinging on swings and jumping around on jumping
around things.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
There he is can kill him.

Speaker 7 (07:42):
Wait, but we're at a playground, that's right, and that's
him right there.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
But he's only a child, it's.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Not he's a baby now gonna kill him? It's hitler.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
Why do I have to do it?

Speaker 6 (07:53):
Because I'm the one, but the time travel mechanism if
I had to fit too much, then it could negatively
impact these.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Okay, okay, enough with that.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
I think I do it.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
No, No, I can't. I can't harm a child.

Speaker 6 (08:06):
But he grows up to be one of the most file, horrible,
evil human beings ever to exist.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Plus he's not that young. I mean, look, he's got
a little mastache growing in right now.

Speaker 6 (08:17):
Still, if we wait until he's older, then you probably
won't be able to do it.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
You'll weaken, scrawny. I mean, you look like the only
fight who want to be against the nighth grader.

Speaker 6 (08:27):
Hey, if you don't do this, you could doom the
world to suffer his wrath.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Will you take me to marry Antoinette and van go?

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Fine? Sure?

Speaker 3 (08:36):
And I want to see Avengers Endgame again?

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Just buy the fucking movie.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
I want to see it in Imax in twenty nineteen.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Fine, fuck you're gonna do this? Or what.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
I'm thinking?

Speaker 4 (09:01):
The where they hell did you to disappear too? One
minute I'm taking a dump, the next you have vanished
with this random dude who lives in the hospital cafeteria.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
He was lying.

Speaker 7 (09:12):
He's actually a time traveler and we time traveled. Oh shit, no,
for real, we visited all kinds of time periods. We
saw a dinosaurs fly. I told Van Goh not to
cut off his ear, so instead he cut off his
wiener and sent that to his prostitute girlfriend, which, by
the way, she did not like. And I met Mary Antoinette,
and it turns out she liked pie, cherry apple, rhubarb.

(09:34):
It didn't matter. She just really liked pie, and it
had nothing to do with peasants.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Time. Are you messing with me?

Speaker 3 (09:42):
No?

Speaker 7 (09:42):
In fact, I have something horrible I have to tell you.
But maybe you already know because I prevented one of
the most horrific events in history. I killed child Adolf Hitler.
You killed a child, yes, but Adolf Hitler?

Speaker 3 (09:58):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 4 (09:59):
He didn't, at least not until he blew his brains
out at the end of World War too.

Speaker 5 (10:04):
Wait what, time turned to Jules?

Speaker 1 (10:07):
But I thought I never said Adolf Hitler in which
Hitler did? I kill Jimmy Hitler? He was an old
middle school bully of mine.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
Wait what Jimmy.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Hitler was a classmate of mine. He made my life
a living hell.

Speaker 6 (10:23):
He would put gumb in my chair and I would
sit on it, and then he would pour orange juice
on my lap and tell everyone that I'd pissed myself.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
It was a real asshole. Something about Hitler's You know.

Speaker 7 (10:34):
That is a horrible and unfortunate name to have. But
I thought I was killing Adolf. No, I thought we
went back to early nineteen hundreds Germany.

Speaker 6 (10:42):
No, we were in early nineties Saint Louis. You didn't
notice the large arch in the background.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
Can I ask a question?

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Sure? Thank you for raising your head.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
You're welcome.

Speaker 5 (10:53):
Why did you have time kill your school bully?

Speaker 3 (10:57):
You look like you're in your mid forties.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Actually early forties, Thank you very much.

Speaker 6 (11:02):
And because my job was gonna hire Jimmy to work
in it with me, and I couldn't handle him to
watch more pairs of pants with orange juice stains.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
He would still bully you.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
I don't know, but I couldn't take that chance.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
Take me back? What take me back?

Speaker 1 (11:17):
But my life would be so much better?

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Now take me back?

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, fine, fine, But if he puts come in my chair,
then you're paying the dry cleaning bill.

Speaker 5 (11:25):
Jew's done some knobs on his day mote device.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
You really wait?

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Can I go too?

Speaker 4 (11:34):
I want to see flying dinosaurs.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Oh it's insane. They're all up in the sky, just
soorn about.

Speaker 5 (11:39):
Is it cool like dragons?

Speaker 7 (11:41):
No, it looks fucking lame, especially the t rex flapping
around with his little tiny t rex arms. There's a
lesson there, but I don't think it's really worth it.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Nice you guys ready?

Speaker 3 (11:53):
Can the narrator come to?

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Sure?

Speaker 5 (11:55):
Thank you?

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Everybody? Get in?

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Get in? What here we go?

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Copdok Dez.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Cop Doctors Written by Robert m Lamb, edited by Mia Soukvili,
starring Robert m Lamb as time and Jack Austen as
case and narrator, co starring Gareth Thomas. Music provided by
Kevin McCloud of incompetec dot com. Additional tracks from various

(12:30):
artists on pondfive dot com.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
And art list dot io.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to rate and
review and visit www dot seven lamb dot com for
more podcasts such as this one. And we want to
thank everyone who has donated on our PayPal and our
Patreon page.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
We appreciate the support.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Special shout out to seven Lamp Patrons Brad McQuade, Chris Williamson,
Corey Ireland and Bradley Williams. From everyone here at seven LAMB,
thank you.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
This has been a seven lam production.
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