December 23, 2021 • 10 mins
It's the night before Christmas and things get weird again for the Cop Doctors. This time Santa shows up at their house and he needs help!!
Music:
"Christmas Tree" by Borrtex @ Artlist.io
"Christmas Tree" by Zac Nelson @ Artlist.io
"O Christmas Tree" by Bob Hart @ Artlist.io
"The Christmas Sleigh Ride" by Francesco Dandrea @ Artlist.io
"ZigZag" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Music:
"Christmas Tree" by Borrtex @ Artlist.io
"Christmas Tree" by Zac Nelson @ Artlist.io
"O Christmas Tree" by Bob Hart @ Artlist.io
"The Christmas Sleigh Ride" by Francesco Dandrea @ Artlist.io
"ZigZag" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
It was late at night when thecop doctor got home on Christmas Eve.
They were ready to finally get somesleep after a long day. I'm excited
for Christmas tomorrow may too. Goodnight case, good night time. But
just as they were about to shutthe bedroom door, What the when did
(00:31):
we get a doorbell? We don'thave a doorbell? Hello? Oh thank
god? A bushy beard fat manin a red coat and hat barged in
and slammed the door shut. Hey, what the hell? Who are you?
(00:51):
What's going on? Time? Pleasekeep your voices down? Who are
you tell us now? Please?It's me Santa. Time took a step
closer. Wait a second, you'renot Santa. You're that meth head dude
(01:15):
that got shot during a drug deallast Christmas and you had COVID too.
No, you guys don't understand.I am Santa, really sure, buddy?
And why are you here right nowtelling us to be quiet? Oh?
Is there a child outside that macyyou delivering presents? Close? I
owe some guys some money and Idon't have it, so they're gonna fucking
(01:38):
kill me? What time? Thisguy's not Santa. He's a math head
who just looks like Santa. Nowyou need to leave. No, I
can't. Those coons are right outside. Time man Case peaked out the window
they saw two muscular men waiting byan suv in the boking lot. Are
(02:00):
they just some guys, Bob?No, but they are Italian? How
did you find us? And howdid you bring a non existent doorbell?
Magic and magic? Don't you toosee? I am Santa, but I
couldn't let you guys really know thatit would have slowed down my presence delivery
(02:21):
last year. Everyone would have houndedme at the hospital. So I used
my magic to make you believe Iwas just a lying method. No,
no, I don't buy it.Oh really, so you really think I'm
a lying method who had COVID ayear ago? Yes? I do.
We did do blood work. Ohyeah, Cassanta could never use magic on
(02:43):
his own blood? Is that you? Are you being sarcastic right now?
I'm fucking Santa Claus, damn it. I don't think Santa would say fucking
oh, because Santa is not agrown up who can use grown up language?
Again? Are you being sarcastic?Listen? You don't care if you
our aren't Santa? We want toget some sleep because it's been a long
day. Yeah, two bank robberiesand three surgeries. We just want to
(03:07):
get some sleep and celebrate a niceChristmas morning tomorrow. Listen, you Fox,
there won't be a Christmas if youdon't help me out. I am
Christmas, don't you see? Nopresents, no happy children, no cheer,
no no takegetherness if you don't helpme with this situation right now?
(03:30):
What do you think? Case,prove your Santa, like, really prove
it. Yeah, and no cardtricks this time. Oh, Jesus,
I don't know it. Here,Santa hinted, Time a cell phone.
Dial that number. It's my wife, missus Claus. Yes, yes,
that's Deangela's number, d'angela. That'smy wife's name. Missus Claus's first name
(03:54):
is Deangela. Yes, that can'tbe right. Honestly, Case, I
don't think i've ever heard her firstname before. It's Sol, he's been
missus Claus. Still de' angela.Give her a call? What's this extension
the north pole? You're dumbash,Hey, chill, I'll call her.
While Time called missus Claus. Casetook another peek outside. They're still out
(04:18):
there. They're looking around. Oh, man, you're gonna find me.
If I don't come up with ahundred dollars, they're going to kill me
one hundred dollars. This is allover one hundred dollars. Hello, Hi,
this is just in time of Timeand Case. We're here with Sanna
(04:38):
and we're just Santa. Yes,is this missus Claus? Oh? Wow?
Um, I ask her? Askher name, Missus Claus. What's
your first name? It's de Angela. Really, that's right, De'angela Claus.
Fucking told you. Santa snats thephone from time. Thanks, honey,
(04:59):
I'll se you soon. He hungup the phone and put his arms
on his hips, as if tosay, I told you so satisfied.
Now, that could be fake.How do we know that's not just one
of your meth head friends helping youout? Oh? Come on, what
else do I have to do here? What about this? Time and Case
followed Santa to the other side ofthe room, where they looked out another
(05:21):
window. Do you see that outsideon another building's roof? Nine reindeer,
and one even had a blinking rednose, you know, Rudolph? Oh
wow, is that your sleigh?No, it's Joe Pesci's, of course,
it's my sleigh. So you havebeen sarcastic this whole time. You're
(05:41):
asking JOm questions. Well, yougotta admit you're not extremely trustworthy. Last
year you were shot and had COVID. Yeah, and now this year you
need to pay off one hundred dollarsdebt. What's your point? These things
aren't very Santa like. Yeah,I never heard any of this stuff any
Christmas stories when I was a kid. Because this is a real world,
(06:02):
motherfucker. It's time you grew up. Damn, Santa is mean, Are
you gonna help me or not?I don't know. Listen, I get
it, I do. I wasn'ttruly trustworthy last time. But you have
to understand I couldn't reveal that Iwas the real Santa. It would have
(06:27):
been chaos. Santa doesn't get shot. He can't or can he. We
live in a rough world nowadays.The last thing people want to see,
especially children, is Santa in atough state. I'm their hopes, in
their dreams, in their happiness.If they see me in pain, then
(06:49):
they're in pain. They don't needthat. The world is hard enough.
I have to symbolize hope and loveand togetherness. Otherwise, what do they
have? Damn you sent up?We understand. Please help me so I
(07:15):
may bring all the world's children somecheers. How do we help you?
Isn't it obvious? I need ahundred dollars. That's it. That's the
help you want. Yeah, unlessyou want to help me fight those guys
and beat them to a bloody pulp. It's Christmas Eve and we're cops.
Fine, then yes, one hundreddollars will help center out of this jam.
(07:41):
Time and Case gave each other aconcerned look before folking over one hundred
dollars. Thank you, and becauseyou too really understood the meaning of Christmas.
Here, he pulled two tiny presentsfrom his back pocket. These are
for you. Oh, merry Christmas. Oh you know what, Case.
(08:07):
I know he lied last year,but I think we did the right thing.
(08:28):
Motherfucker. I gotta use needle too. I just got off the phone
with mister Butterfield, our landlord.Yeah, apparently that son of a bitch
was going around to each of theapartments here and asking people for a hundred
dollars. What about the goons inthe parking lot He hired them for ten
bucks each? What about the sleighand reindeer. Those are fake decorations.
(08:48):
Time. What about d Angela?That was his druggy girlfriend. Wait wait,
wait, but he had magic.What about the doorbell? He rang
an imaginary doorbell. He has adevice that makes the sound of a doorbell.
They bought it on Amazon for twentynine nine nine. What the fuck?
But he was fat this time itwas a pillow under his shirt.
(09:09):
Wow, he duped us again.Time he duped us. He pretended to
be Santa, but he was justa meth head con artist who duped us
for a second time. Oh man, Oh and apparently he got COVID again.
Son of a bitch. Merry Christmasto all into all. A good
(09:30):
night called Doctor Cop Doctors Written andedited by Robert M. Lamb, starring
(09:54):
Jack Austin That's Just in Case andRobert M. Lamb Just in Time co
starring Abby Glover. Music provided byKevin McLoud of incompetech dot com. If
you enjoyed this podcast, don't forgetto rate and review and visit www dot
(10:15):
seven lamb dot com for more podcastssuch as this one. This has been
a seven Lamb production.
It was late at night when thecop doctor got home on Christmas Eve.
They were ready to finally get somesleep after a long day. I'm excited
for Christmas tomorrow may too. Goodnight case, good night time. But
just as they were about to shutthe bedroom door, What the when did
(00:31):
we get a doorbell? We don'thave a doorbell? Hello? Oh thank
god? A bushy beard fat manin a red coat and hat barged in
and slammed the door shut. Hey, what the hell? Who are you?
(00:51):
What's going on? Time? Pleasekeep your voices down? Who are
you tell us now? Please?It's me Santa. Time took a step
closer. Wait a second, you'renot Santa. You're that meth head dude
(01:15):
that got shot during a drug deallast Christmas and you had COVID too.
No, you guys don't understand.I am Santa, really sure, buddy?
And why are you here right nowtelling us to be quiet? Oh?
Is there a child outside that macyyou delivering presents? Close? I
owe some guys some money and Idon't have it, so they're gonna fucking
(01:38):
kill me? What time? Thisguy's not Santa. He's a math head
who just looks like Santa. Nowyou need to leave. No, I
can't. Those coons are right outside. Time man Case peaked out the window
they saw two muscular men waiting byan suv in the boking lot. Are
(02:00):
they just some guys, Bob?No, but they are Italian? How
did you find us? And howdid you bring a non existent doorbell?
Magic and magic? Don't you toosee? I am Santa, but I
couldn't let you guys really know thatit would have slowed down my presence delivery
(02:21):
last year. Everyone would have houndedme at the hospital. So I used
my magic to make you believe Iwas just a lying method. No,
no, I don't buy it.Oh really, so you really think I'm
a lying method who had COVID ayear ago? Yes? I do.
We did do blood work. Ohyeah, Cassanta could never use magic on
(02:43):
his own blood? Is that you? Are you being sarcastic right now?
I'm fucking Santa Claus, damn it. I don't think Santa would say fucking
oh, because Santa is not agrown up who can use grown up language?
Again? Are you being sarcastic?Listen? You don't care if you
our aren't Santa? We want toget some sleep because it's been a long
day. Yeah, two bank robberiesand three surgeries. We just want to
(03:07):
get some sleep and celebrate a niceChristmas morning tomorrow. Listen, you Fox,
there won't be a Christmas if youdon't help me out. I am
Christmas, don't you see? Nopresents, no happy children, no cheer,
no no takegetherness if you don't helpme with this situation right now?
(03:30):
What do you think? Case,prove your Santa, like, really prove
it. Yeah, and no cardtricks this time. Oh, Jesus,
I don't know it. Here,Santa hinted, Time a cell phone.
Dial that number. It's my wife, missus Claus. Yes, yes,
that's Deangela's number, d'angela. That'smy wife's name. Missus Claus's first name
(03:54):
is Deangela. Yes, that can'tbe right. Honestly, Case, I
don't think i've ever heard her firstname before. It's Sol, he's been
missus Claus. Still de' angela.Give her a call? What's this extension
the north pole? You're dumbash,Hey, chill, I'll call her.
While Time called missus Claus. Casetook another peek outside. They're still out
(04:18):
there. They're looking around. Oh, man, you're gonna find me.
If I don't come up with ahundred dollars, they're going to kill me
one hundred dollars. This is allover one hundred dollars. Hello, Hi,
this is just in time of Timeand Case. We're here with Sanna
(04:38):
and we're just Santa. Yes,is this missus Claus? Oh? Wow?
Um, I ask her? Askher name, Missus Claus. What's
your first name? It's de Angela. Really, that's right, De'angela Claus.
Fucking told you. Santa snats thephone from time. Thanks, honey,
(04:59):
I'll se you soon. He hungup the phone and put his arms
on his hips, as if tosay, I told you so satisfied.
Now, that could be fake.How do we know that's not just one
of your meth head friends helping youout? Oh? Come on, what
else do I have to do here? What about this? Time and Case
followed Santa to the other side ofthe room, where they looked out another
(05:21):
window. Do you see that outsideon another building's roof? Nine reindeer,
and one even had a blinking rednose, you know, Rudolph? Oh
wow, is that your sleigh?No, it's Joe Pesci's, of course,
it's my sleigh. So you havebeen sarcastic this whole time. You're
(05:41):
asking JOm questions. Well, yougotta admit you're not extremely trustworthy. Last
year you were shot and had COVID. Yeah, and now this year you
need to pay off one hundred dollarsdebt. What's your point? These things
aren't very Santa like. Yeah,I never heard any of this stuff any
Christmas stories when I was a kid. Because this is a real world,
(06:02):
motherfucker. It's time you grew up. Damn, Santa is mean, Are
you gonna help me or not?I don't know. Listen, I get
it, I do. I wasn'ttruly trustworthy last time. But you have
to understand I couldn't reveal that Iwas the real Santa. It would have
(06:27):
been chaos. Santa doesn't get shot. He can't or can he. We
live in a rough world nowadays.The last thing people want to see,
especially children, is Santa in atough state. I'm their hopes, in
their dreams, in their happiness.If they see me in pain, then
(06:49):
they're in pain. They don't needthat. The world is hard enough.
I have to symbolize hope and loveand togetherness. Otherwise, what do they
have? Damn you sent up?We understand. Please help me so I
(07:15):
may bring all the world's children somecheers. How do we help you?
Isn't it obvious? I need ahundred dollars. That's it. That's the
help you want. Yeah, unlessyou want to help me fight those guys
and beat them to a bloody pulp. It's Christmas Eve and we're cops.
Fine, then yes, one hundreddollars will help center out of this jam.
(07:41):
Time and Case gave each other aconcerned look before folking over one hundred
dollars. Thank you, and becauseyou too really understood the meaning of Christmas.
Here, he pulled two tiny presentsfrom his back pocket. These are
for you. Oh, merry Christmas. Oh you know what, Case.
(08:07):
I know he lied last year,but I think we did the right thing.
(08:28):
Motherfucker. I gotta use needle too. I just got off the phone
with mister Butterfield, our landlord.Yeah, apparently that son of a bitch
was going around to each of theapartments here and asking people for a hundred
dollars. What about the goons inthe parking lot He hired them for ten
bucks each? What about the sleighand reindeer. Those are fake decorations.
(08:48):
Time. What about d Angela?That was his druggy girlfriend. Wait wait,
wait, but he had magic.What about the doorbell? He rang
an imaginary doorbell. He has adevice that makes the sound of a doorbell.
They bought it on Amazon for twentynine nine nine. What the fuck?
But he was fat this time itwas a pillow under his shirt.
(09:09):
Wow, he duped us again.Time he duped us. He pretended to
be Santa, but he was justa meth head con artist who duped us
for a second time. Oh man, Oh and apparently he got COVID again.
Son of a bitch. Merry Christmasto all into all. A good
(09:30):
night called Doctor Cop Doctors Written andedited by Robert M. Lamb, starring
(09:54):
Jack Austin That's Just in Case andRobert M. Lamb Just in Time co
starring Abby Glover. Music provided byKevin McLoud of incompetech dot com. If
you enjoyed this podcast, don't forgetto rate and review and visit www dot
(10:15):
seven lamb dot com for more podcastssuch as this one. This has been
a seven Lamb production.
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