My Greatest Fear Became Freedom

From Amy:

Timing for creative work is interesting. Sometimes you start a project that, for whatever reason, doesn't want to come together right then. Later the perfect timing arises, and you understand that this project was preparing itself to meet the moment.

I recorded this conversation with Sigrid K. Nielsen two years ago; then my podcast went on a forced hiatus. (As in, my editor quit to be a musician, causing me to rework my production process.) Which meant that this and other conversations never got produced, but I kept them in reserve.

Now it's Pride Month 2025; now is the moment.

What I said then is equally true today: Sigrid K Nielsen lights up a room. I have spent time with her on many occasions, live and on Zoom calls, 1:1 and in groups, and she's never been anything but her most authentic, fully expressed, and yes, BLISSFUL, free self. That’s a choice on her part. When you read Sigrid‘s book (forthcoming) you'll see what I mean: Sigrid is incredibly vibrant. But you don't have to wait for the book to meet her. You can listen today.

Be forewarned, Sigrid will force you to rethink things you thought you were certain of. Because she sure has rethought things. Courageously so.

Back to the timing: As I release this episode, it's Monday, June 23. I wanted to release it on Friday, but that just didn't want to happen, even though it was ready. All the things were conspiring to delay publication. Then on Saturday evening, we learned that bombs were illegally dropped on Iran without notice and without any justification except to make an old man feel good about himself. As with so much right now, there is so much distraction.

And I'm going to say this part out loud: Othering trans people, making them scapegoats for all the harms in the world, is keeping US ALL from being who WE ALL truly are, seeing what's right there for us to see. WE ALL have it in us to be compassionate, kind, loving people, when we're not running scared from each other. But that requires awareness.

We can make another choice.

This othering is not a new tactic. It was there in the 30's in Germany, when trans people were targeted (we forget that part because their libraries, their history, their rich artistic culture was obliterated), and it was there in the 80's when Sigrid and I were coming of age, and only rockstars could dress as they wanted. Because it was a "costume."

Performance, you see. Heaven forbid YOU be queer. Or other. Sigrid’s former self knew that assignment.

But that required hiding in plain sight. Even from yourself. And once you're aware of what's really there, you can't not see it. Pretending not to see is exhausting. You want to stop making believe.

Isn’t that true for us all?

Sigrid is a trans woman who transitioned at nearly 50 years old. AND. This is who she's always been.

As much as I have always recognized Sigrid's voice as powerful, her writing sublime, her presence uplifting and joyous, there has never been a moment when her message was more essential.

We have solutions to find for our one small, beautiful planet's great problems. Queer people are not one of those problems. They deserve all the love.

They are leading the way, ahead of their time.

It's going to require all of us to face our deepest fears and embrace our most profound gifts. Our humanity. And to be abundantly clear, this doesn't mean YOU have to be TRANS. Unless you are.

We need YOU to be YOU. That's our agenda.

Because, as Sigrid often reminds me, though our stories may look vastly different on the surface— hers is from the perspective of a trans woman who came out at midlife, and mine is a different kind of midlife revival—our real-life stories are universal.

We are all human and we are all in this together.

Thanks Sigrid!

Love, Amy

Sigrid K. Nielsen stepped into her truth in May 2021 and ha