Colorado Springs Southwards

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to another episode of The Crime Pays with Bodeny
Dozen podcasts. Once again. I find myself in New Mexico,
on the side of the road, parked near a rest stop.
Ooh house, the men's room. I'm sitting here. We've been
I've been in the car fucking fourteen days, living out
the back of the truck that mycological Society got both

(00:21):
me and Ellen and Mandy hotel rooms. But those days
are long past. I would like to report back on
the Continental Breakfast at the Holliday and Express and beautiful
Almagordo though it was. It was a superior Continental breakfast,
and they had little boxes of soy which I like.
I will take the label of soyboy, which is some

(00:41):
you know, ridiculous American culture. Warshit it actually, you know,
soy milk is actually is an Asian thing. I don't
know if you knew that, you know, I don't know
if you're especially if you're in America, your knowledge of
the world outside is probably not very extensive. So soy
milk started as an Asian thing. It was, you know,
I used to buy soy milk at the fucking uh
the little you know, Asian grocery stores when I lived

(01:04):
in SF twenty five years ago. And then once I
found out I was lactose intolerant, which made sense. Anytime
I would drink a glass of milk, I'd get the shits.
Is that a little bit too much? More a minute
in fifteen seconds? And it's gonna get a lot weirder
than this. But anytime, you know, when I took to
the genetic test, they said you lactose intolerant. I said, wow,
I didn't know that that makes sense though. So anyway,

(01:29):
they had soy milk, they had the fancy yogurt. They
didn't have the yo place shit with the saccharin or
whatever the fuck nasty. I don't know why all these
these companies don't just use Stevia, right, What do you
have against asta ac? Why? Uh, why I use stevia
instead of these fenyl phenol leucatronics, fenel ket phenol, keto neurix.

(01:51):
What is it called s spartan injected into your urethra
and maybe you'll get you it'll cure your cancer. Actually
you'll get the cancer from the is a spartanan LinkedIn?
I think it is LinkedIn. Can't say that's not the
point I'm waiting for the green tea I just made
on my little Chinese grocery store stove, speaking of Chinese

(02:13):
grocery stores, I'm waiting for it to cool. You only
want to heat the green tea up to one seventy
five fahrenheit and then you know, no hotter on that
because you'll burn the shit out of it. And then
if you leave it too long, it we'll actually become caffeinated.
But what I are more caffeinated, and you'll lose some
of the antioxidant capabilities, which, of course, especially if you
live in America, you need because there's fucking toxins everywhere.

(02:35):
You know, you get a lot of carcinogens over there.
Did you know mullen is medicinal. It's one of the
most medicinal plants. I just put. I saw so much
fucking moan in the mountains where I was. Oh, I
love shitting on it. It's so fun, it really is.
I had to block some lady in Oregon. Where was

(02:56):
she think she was in Orgon? That makes sense? She
was an old Caucasian lady in Oregon. And and that'll
in itself can go either way like that can be
really cool or it can be yikes, you know, yikes.
But she was like, uh, I forget what. She didn't
understand a sense of humor I have. And she kept
commenting like this is some hippie shit, like, not the

(03:18):
good hippies, the obnoxious hippies. It's something they do. They
comment unsolicited life advice about positive attitudes. And the motherfuckers
like that have a field day with me because they
don't understand my dark sense of humor and my cynicism.
But also in an uplifting tone, I'm a happy fuck
for the most part. I am. I talk a lot
of shit, but I'm a very happy fuck and I

(03:39):
love people on an individual level. They just gross me out.
And herds and when they know other people are watching
them and when they're performing and start But anyway, I
had the blocker because she this is like the fourth
or fifth comment. I couldn't take. It was just so cringey,
and I may I It was a video I put
up joking about how seeing plants like Lithospermum THERBERREI a'm

(04:03):
off pollinated member of the borige family. I saw at
nine thousand feet outside a beautiful rude those on New
Mexico beautiful rud thoso and how you know that stuff
wouldn't be as nice if I didn't hate being in
consumer society so much. And then she went on a
big creepy lecture about how hate is my hate is
consuming you just like this on you know what I mean, Like,

(04:26):
don't don't do that now, I don't fuck you know,
like you're some fucking life coach. Okay, if you were
a fucking life coach, you wouldn't be sniffing essential oils
and fucking you know, uh you sniffing essential oils and
fucking hoarding crystals in uh in Oregon? Wherever the fuck Salem?
Where the fuck wesh? I don't know, somewhere in Oregon.
You know these played the West Coast. I'm so traumatized

(04:47):
from living out there still, can you tell? At least
in LA it's a little bit nastier and more cynic
and more fucked up. But like when you get into
like the really wishy, washy Caucasian you know, hippie, he's
not good hippie, not like taking acid and fucking in
the mud hippie. Uh yeah, you follow me here? Am
I losing? You know what I mean? I'm talking about

(05:10):
like the really like Crystal New age. Let me give
you life advice, unsolicited life coach. Uh you know, let me.
Here's my boner in your back while I'm trying to
cuddle you. Not that I've ever done that or or
had that happened to me. Rather, I've just heard reports
back from female friends of mine, you know, the soft sleeves,
the fucking you know what I mean. I'm going off

(05:30):
on a tangent here, but this is I had enough.
What I was Fuck if you haven't need to take
life advice. And not that this old woman was putting
her boner in my back, but uh, if she did
have one, I could see that being a thing. And
then she was criticizing me for saying that hate fuels me,
which is obviously kind of a joke. Kind of right,

(05:51):
I got some hat. You gotta have some hate. If
you're not an idiot, you should have a little bit
of hate given everything that's going on today in the
modern age. I gotta go check and see if this
tea is ready. Hold on, ah, it's ready, And I
just spilled some in my crotch. That's nice. I'm doing
this in the car. The dogs are back here. Jack's
got bad gas because I've been feeding him camp food.
I thought he was about to catch the Rainbow bridge
and check out the other day. He is sixteen, and

(06:14):
I think you're really special, and I just wanted to cuddle.
And I speak like I'm gay, but I'm actually very straight.
And it's kind of like a ploy, this feminine thing
because it helps me get laid, so you know what
I mean. We're still talking about the hippie gropers, midnight
gropers anyway, which this old with this woman was the

(06:37):
equivalent of. She reminded me of that. You know, I
don't trust anybody who's not food. Can't say they're filled
with a little bit of hate. It's nice, it's it's funny,
it's dark humor. Embrace it. Anyway, we're sitting here in
this rest stop, shout out to uh, where the fuck
was I? Tod? I just went somewhere really lovely. Oh God,
damn it. What was it? It was the some wildlife

(07:00):
refuge south of Albuquerque. And if you can believe it
or not, H yes seve YadA s E V I
L L E T a wildlife refuge visitor center shut
out to the visitor center. It's lovely. You could stay
after hours. They got an automated gate that lets you out.
And there's a lot of cool stuff going on in
sus America. Maria nauseosa with these large inflated flower heads.

(07:22):
It turned out to be a gul midge. It kind
of threw me off for a minute. Oh, the desert
looked good. And a new one for me Periella filifolia,
which is in the lead plant tribe, the amorphie which
was exciting because you know they're glandular. I got those
punky glands. It smelled really good and it's got tiny,
like highly reduced flowers. It looks like it looks like

(07:45):
a yellow amorpha, and it spreads by rhizome in the desert.
And then there was a fucking dahlia going out there,
but a bunch of good stuff and it was still
flowering even though it's somewhat dry. Prior to that, I
saw my friend Perry, who I haven't seen in like
six years or something. I don't know. She's we all
lived in this fucked up house fifteen years ago in Oakland,

(08:07):
but she's doing bodany stuff. She lives in Albuquerque, she's
doing well, and uh, it's I've been out for a while.
I was in Colorado after the Mycological Society Fair. We
went up to beautiful Rudoso to the Apache, like right
on the board of the Apache Reservation up there. A
gentleman invited me to the reservation too, and I would
have gone. I just didn't have time. We had to

(08:28):
get out. Where do we go? After that? We went
to I went to the Jmez Mountains and to these
hot springs, and then Alan and Mandy went to Santa
Fe and then we ran devout again in Colorado Springs,
which is nice. Colorado's nice. Speaking of hippies, it's you know,

(08:52):
it's chilly. And two days no, he was it. Yesterday
I went to Someone wrote me and they were like, hey,
you know I worked for out of Spring City. I'd
love to have you out here. We're doing some cool stuff.
You want to come to the greenhouses? We got native
plants there. I said, yeah, sure, what the fuck up come?
And I didn't know what I was getting myself into,
but it ended up being one of the coolest things
I've seen in a while. It was this guy Alex

(09:15):
and Iather, guy Kevin that worked for the city, their
city horticulturalists for Colorado Springs, which is not a bastion
of progressive liberal values, can be pretty conservative, so I
was kind of surprised this happened. But they convinced three
years ago. Actually didn't convince somebody. They just started doing it,
switching all the municipal landscaping to native plants. So they

(09:35):
went from growing like annuals and you know, over hybridized,
overproduced product of a pure product of a greenhouse garbage,
to producing native plants and just growing all the cool
natives there. The fernbush was a cammabody area. To rose
Ace member, they had Fallujah paradoxa quote Apache plume, some

(10:00):
Escleapia speciosa, some nice milkweeds, some fucking uh uh mints,
some solid doggos uh Salvia's fixeria. No was it physeria.
I don't think I've grown phizaria. But they had a
bunch of good stuff that, like, you know, common natives,
but stuff you don't normally see municipal landscaping. And I

(10:20):
would feel like puking less when I got into the
real world if if that's what I saw, you know,
instead of Nandina domestica and crape myrtles. I think crape
myrtles dye in Colorado springs. Thank god, not enough, not
enough are dying. There's not enough places in the in
the United States where crape myrtles die. In Texas, Texans
still fucking love them. I don't get it, like people

(10:42):
like people native plant people still like crape myrtles and
that What the fuck, man, what are you doing here?
Why are you doing this? Huh? It's what is the
what is the uh? What's the ship? They grow hydrangers?
What's the Midwest version of the crape myrtle, hastas hydranges?
Emerald green arborvite. They're all the same clone like. They
never plant the species through your occidentalis. In the Midwest,

(11:04):
they plant emerald green arborvities. It looks really nice up
against the red or the beige brick, you know, in
a mode lawn with the with the dyed orange wood
chips there and a little virgin mary grotto knights in
the front yard. I was just trying to dump my
green tea into this old tey hava bottle, and I
fucking spilled everywhere. I used to drink this green tea

(11:24):
shit on a railroad. I've been addicted to green tree.
You make the you get the loose leaf sensha, and
you make it in a French press. I've been doing that.
I've been doing that for a long time. When I
used to drink it at the railroad, all the beef
boys would say, oh, you're drinking piss and I'd say, fuck,
yeah I am. I'm running it through again, you pussy.
What do you You don't want to drink your own urine? Eh,

(11:45):
let me make a pass at you. Let me come
over here and touch your thigh, your big beefy, fucking
your big beefy battered hunky, and touch you and fucking
squeeze you little anyway. So but anyway, yeah, it this
stuff is, you know, but you can't. You can't over do.
You gotta get it out of the four minutes tops.
You don't want to overbrew it, you know what I mean.

(12:07):
Now we're driving, looks like Jack's gas went away. That's nice.
It's been been muffing dog farts for the last three
hours of the drive. I can turn a four hour
drive into a fucking fifteen hour affair. Man. I just
thought that the Wildlife Refuge Seve EIGHTA for uh. Well,
I didn't mean to stop that long. I was gonna.
I just want to take a piss and see if

(12:28):
I get some sagebrush. But it's too low. An elevation
forty nine hundred feet south of Albuquerque is hot desert, okay,
at least in the summertime, so there's no sage brush
that you gotta go a little bit higher. I did
get some, but not enough. It's such a pleasant smell,
Artemisia trident tata. But they had eric kamaria. They had
Artemisia phil a folia. You know, it's more low desert

(12:50):
stuff like stuff you expect to see around a'l passo. Huh.
But anyway, but I but then I looked up. I
was looking stuff up there, and I see that Periella
grows nearby. Said oh shit, let's go look at this.
And then I went to the visitors center and they
had Sorrow, Theamnis scoparius, the fucking flying here. God damn it,
get the fuck out of here, get out here.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
And I go, oh, the dogs are getting nervous. The
dogs are getting nervous. Okay, Lily, don't worry about it.
We're only going eighty down a freeway. I gotta get
the fly out of here.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
See, you know, when you open the windows of flies,
they duck and cover. Motherfucker there he is anyway, But
I saw that they had sorrow thamnist scoparius here because
the visitor center's got native landscaping in front of the
building and the native plants there since there's a little
bit protective of a location there up against the building,

(13:44):
they get the protected from hot summer sun. They're also
probably irrigate. They're in better shape, so they're producing tons
of seed. So you want to you want to go
collect seed a good some good natives go to the
visitor center of a wildlife refuge, you know, which Trump
is in the process of defending, as we are defunding,
excuse me, as we descend into uh, you know this
bleak fucking that's dystopian idiocratic idio idiocracy anyway, So I

(14:13):
don't know, I don't know fucking talk about that. That's bleak.
That's It's why I look at the other stuff. You know,
it's getting bad out there. Folks. People write me and
there they say, what should I do? I want to
get into botany and I say, go to trade school
and get a fucking like learn get like an electrical
engineering degree, you know, learn about electricity, and then study

(14:34):
botany on a site. Get do something that that pays
good and that you can stomach, and that you can
also get like scam time off of. That's what I
did with the railroad. And then just you know, don't
turn your passion into your career, especially in a nation
that's only getting dumber and it's going to defund science.
You know. It's it really is. It's like everything Carl

(14:56):
Sagan said was gonna happen is or was worried he
was gonna happen is happening. So that's where we are anyway.
So let's go back to Alamo Gordo. In the hills
east of Alamo Gordo is you rise towards Cloudcraft and
you go over three hundred million year old limestone and
you're you're greeted by plants like ocatillo, fucarious, splendez and

(15:20):
short short flowered mountain mahogany or was it folius? I
think it's folius floris. Fuck, I don't know. Brevi is
something Brevi short folius or Floris? I have to look
it up. I got I'm gonna I'm getting fucking dementia
when I get older, if I live that long. I've
got so many goddamn words stuck in my head and
I need to keep exercising and remembering them, you know. Anyway, Circlecarpus,

(15:45):
of course, is Michael Rhizel with Amanita. Is the fact
I didn't know until I was talking to somebody in
uh where were they boulder? And they said they were
in a Circlecarpus dwarf forest and there was am you know,
there was amanitas popping up, which of course Michael rhisel
and circle Carpus was the only tree around. And I said,
no shit, is that true? So I looked it up
and it is true. And then of course they also

(16:06):
have nitrogen fixing actinom seat bacteria in their roots. You know,
the circle carpus, don't you huh? The Mountain Mahoganies members
of the Rose family really cool genus. I love them.
Oh my engine doesn't sound well, that sounds fine. I
think I think it's doing okay. We're just going uphill.
Alan helped me change my oil in the field when

(16:29):
we were camped out outside of Ruidoso. So I was
really helpful. That was nice because I had never actually
changed my own oil before. I think I did once,
like ten years ago, and it was a fucking disastrous.
Then I just said, fucking I'm not gonna do it.
But it was cathartic, and we you know, we did

(16:50):
it right there into pines and all the mullen, which
is medicinal. Did you know mullen is medicinal. Mullen is
one of the most it's good for. What is it
good for? It's a good for it's a good placebo.
It's good for uh, nourishing, the nourishing and cleansing toxins.
It's an anti inflammatory, and it's good if you smoke

(17:12):
it and as a rectal poultice too. Mullin is not invasive,
whatever they tell you. It's not invasive. It's everywhere, but
it's not. Okay, well, it's a little invasive, but it
only invades disturbed areas you won't find. Okay, that's right.
You saw it in some rocky areas that hadn't had
any disturbance in well over eighty years. But that's it's

(17:34):
just because that's they must some unplanted though, it's medicinal.
Leave it alone. But uh, where the fuck was I
We were talking about what we were talking about, and
I forget any sort theamnuscoparius collecting seeds the visitors center,
I don't know. Oh yeah, As you ascend east out
of the city of Alamogordo, which is not the most

(17:56):
uplifting town. It's not a bad town, but it's not
the most uplifting. I didn't feel I didn't feel rejuvenated
in the soul when I went there. You know how
many dollar stores does it got? Anyway, you just as
you ascend east into the hills towards Cloudcraft, which is
a kind of like a resort ski town you go through.

(18:20):
I think it's six thousand feet. I was looking for
a fucking plant. I was looking for paridally lap Hamia
storro philo, the new Mexico rock daisy, which I got
into because I was traveling around to Southwest in twenty
nineteen with my friend Isaac, who did his PhD. He
did his doctorate on an adaptive. He did it on
a radiation of the genus parridally and it turned out

(18:42):
to be paraphyletics, so he split it up grated the
genus lap Hamia. But all these plants had like these
little dyc's, these little daisies that grow out of cracks
in the cliff faces, you know, and rocks and shit,
you know, eighty feet above the ground or two thousand
in the case of the Grand Canyon one. You know what,

(19:05):
That lodge burned down. I'd been there a month before.
We weren't at the lodge. We weren't staying at the lodge.
I don't go to places like that, but we were
walking around outside of it, and I just wanted to
show my daughter the Grand Canyon. And then I'm a
month later it burned down. It was a beautiful building.
I should have gotten a room there, but uh, it

(19:28):
was probably like three hundred bucks. And I'm just just kidding.
But anyway, so I was looking for this peridally and
there was a record of it that I had on
my phone. I don't know where I got it. It
wasn't I naturalist. It was like, I think it was
an arbarium record. But I had the point, I'll, dude,
I'll save points on the on the Schmoogle maps and

(19:48):
h and then just you know, and label them. And
then I won't go there for five years, and then
I'm whenever I'm in the area, I look at my map,
I'm like, oh, I saved this point. Okay, cool, I'll
go check it out. So I don't know where it
came from, but at some point I saved a Paridali
Storophyla coordinates and I went to go check it out,

(20:10):
and it was not disappointing at all. Anytime you're on
limestone in the Chihuahua Desert, you're gonna have a good time.
You're gonna see nice stuff. I guess if you were
being tortured and kneecapped, you wouldn't be having a good time.
Like if you were tied up at a chair with
a ballgag in your mouth like some you know, four
foot told Dominatrix was kicking, kicking in the shins and
like putting a nail gun on your knees, that wouldn't
be having a good time. But in any other case,

(20:32):
you'd be having a wonderful time on limestone in the
Chiuahua Desert, which is what I was certainly doing. Dasillarian
wheeler eye looked really good, you know, Blue, Dassillarian Blue
soda wasn't ready yet. We saw a female plant with
like a twelve foot spike covered in or twelve foot
panicle covered in fruits, those little bullfruits with the wings,

(20:56):
but it wasn't ready yet, which I was. I was bummed.
I really, that's such a beautiful that's the most beautiful Dessilerian.
After what is it? Leo Lepto found what is the
what are the quadrangulatum and what's the other what's the
colescent species? The stem species that looks like the Australian
grass tree looks like Kingia australis that I saw in

(21:17):
Correcthro last year. I forget the species was like anyway,
it doesn't matter, you know. I gotta go through these names. Man,
it's hard. I forget that. I forget this stuff. I
see things, I log them, I keep, I put them
on my little spreadsheet checklist thing. And then I forget
the species name that was Adassileyrian longesimum. It's one of
like two or three colescent that is stemmed species. But

(21:41):
Wheeler eyes great. I don't know why more people don't
grow it. It's got beautiful blue leaves and the hook's
recurve outwards so like the marginal spines, the recurved spines,
they recurve might go on to the right waist. Though. Fuck,
I'm not even I don't want to go back to Texas.
I I like New Mexico a lot. It's pleasant up here. Man.

(22:02):
I camped out. I camped outside of Santa Fe. That
is a county town. I will say too, there are
some county people in Santa Fe. It's like the North
Berkeley of New Mexico. You know, you could get banned
from Santa Fe very easily. Someone like me especially would
get banned from Santa Fe. I woke up to like,

(22:24):
you know, well, to dose jogging past my truck on
the outside. Then I dug a hole and took a
dump in it, covered it up, drank a cold brew coffee,
and went down a little hike and got the hell
out of there. But I was looking for public land
last night and there was nowhere. So I just camped
like across the street from a little hiking trail. Yeah,

(22:48):
it was nice. Then I met a a little lassie
dog named Kenny today. His people were walking and they
were very kind. Yeah. What did I see today, miraboli?
H I saw two cool Mirabolis, species comata and Linearius.
I think because it's got linear leaves. You see those

(23:09):
tiny pink flowers on them, not tiny, they're like dime size.
There's so many cool composites everywhere, you know, the d
y cs, which I'll remind you if you go to
other continents, you don't see so many dy c's like
you go to that's a. That's the asteroid E subfamily
of asterac You know you can mutissoid is the big

(23:32):
subfamily you'll see if you're in South America, or barnadizioid
E or vernonioid E. And if you're in South Africa
you'll see vernonioid E or sichoreoid E as well. The
chickories real weird ones. What are the beetle daisies? Are
they vernonioid years it's corea. I don't know either way.
Well check ININET for taxonomy. Start paying you know, those

(23:53):
those really big families. You got to pay attention to
the to the the subfamilial classifications. It's not enough to
just know the family. They're just hyper diverse, like orchids,
asta ac peas. You know. I don't know what for
carrots yet Anyway, so this this hike down this limestone Talus,

(24:17):
I had a lot of hike down there for some
of the plant people because there were some plant people
at the at the Mycological Society meetup, and so we
had a fucking great time. And of course the sodall
poles are excellent hiking The old inflorescences are excellent hiking poles,
which you need if you're on that sketchy ass talus.
I will never hike without a sodall pole. Again, what

(24:40):
else did I see? Cipho maris gypsu of phyloides. It
was cool because this spot near Alamogodo, you know, White
Sands National Monument is west of there, and you're up
in the mountains if you're east Alamo Gordo, in this
drainage that drains to White Sands National Monument, and you
can see the gypsum exposures coming out of the limestone.
Suddenly you're just being like a gypsum outcropping. And that's,

(25:02):
of course, is where the gypsum comes from that composes
White Sands National Monument. You can see the gypsum right there.
It's got a very specific texture to it. It looks
like a a salt block that's been sprayed with a
powerwasher from above, just the way that rain makes it
dissolve so readily. But one plant I was not expecting

(25:23):
to see. I did find the peridley, the rock daisy,
But one plant I was not expecting to see was
Salvia pinguifolio, which is holy shit. You know, that's another
thing I see and I'm like, why the fuck is
nobody growing this? This is an amazing plant. It's a salvia,
for Christ's sakes, it's a bush stage, it smells amazing,
smells amazing, tiny purple flowers. Saw some cool native bees

(25:47):
hitting it, and you know, and it's growing out of,
like directly out of a crack in the rock. Its
roots probably penetrating eight inches down into the rock, which
you know is the thermal mass. It takes a while
to heat that rock up, so it's probably you know,
very moderated temperature despite it being ninety five degrees, but

(26:09):
also in the arid climate, ninety five is nothing, which
I'm reminded, which I'm reminded to every time I leave
South Texas, the armpit that is South Texas. No offense
at Latinos for Trump's side near my house really struck
a chord with me. Man, I just you know, it's
just a yakati convince people to vote against their own interests.

(26:32):
It's getting easier and easier. So anyway, there was a
you know, new fucking New Mexico's wonderful. I'm so on
it and I want to go to every goddamn mountain range.
Later on we went to the Capitans northeast of Rudoso,
and boy, that was a fucking We saw a lot
of cool monotropoids, a lot of cool the monotropoid subfamily

(26:56):
of Eric Casey, the blueberry family, the mico heterotroph's pair
setizing Michael Rhizo fungus. We saw Tero spora andro madeo,
which I did not know occurred in New Mexico. It
occurs in northern Wisconsin and also in northern California. That'd
be cool to compare genetic sequences of gene sequences of

(27:17):
both populations. You know, that's two thousand mile two thousand
miles of difference in their distribution. It's not really a disjunction.
But anyway, but I didn't know what occurred in this
sky island. The sky islands are where it's at you know,
you put your fucking Google terrain map or your Google
map or whatever map you're using. God, if you're using appleugh,

(27:42):
well you set it to terrain layer at all time
so you get a good view of the topography. Fuck
the roads, fuck the geopolitical boundaries. You need to see
that topography and also the geology as well. So download
the rock tap rockd anyway, But yeah, so did we
descended down slope to the bottom of this ravine of

(28:04):
this large ass drainage actually, and we were right at
the point of contact between two distinct layers. One was
the the bursum formation and the other was I forget
what I forget, I forget the name of it. Just
did a video on it. I put out like a
forty five minute video, a forty five minute tom I
felt guilty about all the short form content I've been

(28:26):
putting on the YouTube page, short form videos, you know,
for the low attention span generation. But it's the algorithm
actually hypes the shorter videos more than the long form ones.
It's which duh, of course, I mean, that's what makes
the money, because no one's got attention span. Are people
still going to read in like fifty years, you think

(28:48):
if we're still around, you know, we got to deal
with this this angry male chimp thing that we have
as a species. It's like all the fucking pigs and
power who are just repeating history. It's uh, you know,
it's always the sociopaths that climb to the top because

(29:09):
the the artists or the intellectuals and the scientists seem
like they're pretty bored by the acquisition of power and
maybe of wealth to some degree, because wealth will buy
you comfort, but it's not going to buy you an
enriching life. It's probably gonna make you kind of a cunt,
at least in my experience what I've seen. You know.

(29:32):
So anyway, you really want to, you know you want to.
You want a lot of adventure and fun adventure too,
not like rich people don't have do they have adventures?
They go on tours and ship they don't actually get
dan they don't go in dangerous situations. You got to
get in a little bit of a dangerous situation to
uh have a true adventure. I don't don't make very
good art, I'll tell you that. So, uh, anyway, so

(29:57):
we went down slope U there's all this limestone tell
us with very fo philiferous Ariogonum James the Eye was
everwhere another wonderful buckwheat you could put Ariogonum James the
Eye in front of a CVS or some other fucking
bleak parking lot shithole in the United States, which is

(30:17):
what you know we've done with the friend. Someone actually
commented on the last two podcasts I did. They said,
this guy really hates the US. How did you get here? Buddy?
You know you're gonna reduce it. That's such a reductivist take.
I criticize, I talk shit, but there's things I like
about it here too. We have created one of the

(30:38):
ugliest landscapes in the first world. But it wasn't you
and me that did it. We just it's what was
put on the plate that was handed to us, and
we're expected to eat it. You know, you're gonna pretend
Maybe that lady from Oregon needs to contact this guy
and they need to get together and just and and

(30:58):
write a Maybe it could give me some life advice.
I'd rather drink my own urine for the next year,
you know, consistently, than take life advice from people like that.
But anyway, but somebody got offended. I don't know they
got offended. They don't listen. I don't care. I'm not
doing this for listenership obviously. You know when in the
first hour and a half I was talking about dog

(31:19):
farts in diarrheas, So you know, you take from that
what you what you want. Number once do I tell
people be shared to hit like and subscribe. You know,
I end my videos telling telling the audience to go
fuck themselves. So you know, take take it, take from
that what you may. I think the tea is dried up,
the tea that I spilled in my crutch. So but

(31:42):
it's always so wonderful. And you know, with six thousand
feet in New Mexico, ninety five degrees hot as fuck,
but it was the breeze is not humid, and so
you're getting this nice breeze that actually evaporates the sweat
from you. I'll take ninety five degrees in the dry
heat any day over ninety degrees in the human And
remember to remember remember the conversion from fahrenheit to celsius.

(32:08):
Subtract thirty from fahrenheit to find out what is in
celsius is In case you got European friends or basically
friends anywhere outside of the United States. Subtract thirty and
then divide by two, so ninety would be minus thirty
sixty divide by two thirty degrees celsius, and then it's
the opposite for celsius to fahrenheit was at times two

(32:28):
and I add thirty. I don't fucking know anyway. Uh yeah,
So but you get down to the bottom of this
little drainage in the arroyo. Down there, there's Celtis reticulata,
the hackberry cannabasey for the New Mexico hackberry, which is
a very pleasant tree. It's a pioneer species. It's a

(32:51):
weedy tree, but it's you know, the fruits, the little
berries are spread by birds. And there was Phractus down there,
Cuspa data and the lutina. Oh and I think it
was Fractinus texana down there too, which is actually rarer
and Cuspi data grows in the dry upland areas like

(33:14):
on the limestone. And that fucking threw me off because
it's got it's got tiny leaves down below, which is
counterintuitive because down below would be in the shade. You'd think,
you know, most trees they have the larger. If they're
somewhat dimorphic like that, the larger leaves would be in
the shade and then the tinier leaves are up top
in the full sun. This was the opposite way, the
opposite in the opposite case. But the tiny leaves, you know,

(33:38):
they look like roost Microphila leaves, except they've got a
different texture and they've got there they don't have that
red margin to tiny you know little leafs. Sumac has it.
And then you lie looked up at the upper leaves
in the tree and they're they're ash. It's they're just
good old fraccas, you know, the odd pinnate fraction in
is style leaflet, uh, with the ash fruits on it.

(34:01):
It fucking threw me off. But I think it's because
the species is dioecious, so male trees and female trees
allocate nitrogen differently. I don't know, but it was really
cool to see, you know, the again mapping the whole
plant community. There was Condalia warn noakii up there, buckthorn
family ramnasy, tiny pentagonal yellow flowers maybe five millimeters across

(34:26):
maybe maybe yeah, maybe five to seven millimeters across, and
then branches that taper into spines, like five inch long
branches of taper into spines. Condalia wore noachi eye, bird
dispersed fruits, et cetera. And of course ramnasy buckthorn family.
It's got them nitrogen fixing ectenomcey bacteria in the roots.

(34:47):
And then I saw a kindo serious coccinius, a little cactus,
the hedgehog cactus, which is just the genus A kino sirius,
wedged into this black tube. It was a big black
tube like basket paull diameter, transporting water, and it was black.
I figured, that's got to be hot as fuck. But
then of course you could hear the water going through.
When I touched it, it was chili, and I thought, wow,

(35:10):
that's got to be really nice. If you're a cactus
that grew from a seed that had bird shit out
five years ago and got stuck in the seam of
this pipe like the metal bracketing that held the pipe together,
and you get a little bit of detritus, some dust
in there. Little cockcitio mycosis valley valley fever's making a comeback.

(35:33):
It's hitting it big in New Mexico. I hear get
tested for valley fever. Louis got it before I had
to give her a anti fungal meds that I got
my GP because I had health insurance at the time
to write me. He wrote, and it was like generic
five bucks for these fucking pills generic with health insurance

(35:54):
or like from the VET. It was like three hundred dollars.
So and he was on the level back then too.
I called him one time when I was too high.
I got that fucking Rick Simpson oil. My fucking friend
gave it to me. She said, just take a little bit.
You just take a little bit and it'll help you sleep.
You don't even feel stone. And so I took what
I thought was a little bit like a grain of rice.

(36:14):
You squeeze it out of a plastic syringe. It's like
this butter. It was like a tangy thing. I could
feel it in my teeth. I was so fucking high.
One minute, I'm stretching on my floor doing some nice yogas,
doing downward dog, feeling it my ass and my my ankles.
And at the next minute, I'm in a fucking vortex.
I can't sleep, having panic attacks. Fuck, I'm just too high.

(36:36):
I got how to turn this off. I watched the
Old Lady, The Old Lady You're Too High video on YouTube.
You should watch it if you get a chance. Nobody's
ever died. She says from having too much marijuana. You're
just really high. It's a very reassuring video. It's very soothing.
It's a self soothing video. It's for self soothing. It

(36:57):
self soothed me for maybe five minutes, and then I
started panicking again and just laid in a spinning room,
feeling like I was on a merraga around from hell
that I couldn't get off of. And then I had
to fly. Next day, I flew to Chicago and I couldn't.
I still was still in the marraygro and I couldn't
get off, and the stewardess was hitting on me. She
was like this fifty year old woman. He was attractive
for a fifty year old, very nice, but she was

(37:19):
totally hidden on me. And I think she said something
crass too, because I joked back with her, but I
don't remember what I said because she was at the
end of a tunnel. I was like looking through a
tunnel at her. And then I called my doctor that
night and I was like man, I've been high for
a day straight, Like what do I do? Like, is
there anything you know of that can stop this? And

(37:42):
he was on a level then, but you know, the
system eventually corrupted him. I could see. It's like that
elder Leopold quote about the wolf. I could see the
fire die in his eyes over the years, you know,
as he just had to do more lame shit, more
phony smiles. And he was working for a firm. He
didn't have a private practice, not a firm. He was

(38:03):
working for like a a health group, probably run by
some shitbag private entity and so, and he gained weight,
and I could tell he gained weight, and the fire
in his eyes died, and I could see that he
had been in He was finally consumed, you know. I said, Hell,
they got all kinds of different underground psychedelic therapies out here.

(38:25):
This is the Bay Area. You got to get out
of this. This is going to kill you. He was
probably married to someone he hated or who hated him.
Why did people do that? Are you married? Why did
you do that? You don't need to you could, I mean,
at least if you're married, and it's like a scam,
you know, or maybe you're just best friends with the person,

(38:45):
but don't do it otherwise that's like taking on debt. Man,
You're just gonna no marriage lass and then it's just
gonna be a clusterfuck when you guys split up. Later,
you can love, You can love deeply for decades without
getting the law involved in your relationship. Ok, enough life
bites for me. So so I seemed as little cactus
growing out of a tube. That the tube, because it

(39:06):
was transporting water, must there must be condensation because you know,
even though it's the desert, there's still a little bit
of moisture in that air, and of course it must
condense on that cold tube of water, thus maybe acquisitioning
a little bit more moisture for this tiny cactus, our
little friend, a baseball sized the kindo series caccinius that

(39:28):
was growing squeezed out of looked like it was being
squeezed out of a metal rivet that held this pipe together.
But it keeps the roots cool, no doubt. I gotta
get over into the fast lane because these fucking trucks
just destroy that right like that trucking is solf, you
know what, that's something I know that this is gonna suck.
But that's a shitty job anyway. When those go electric

(39:52):
or automotive or whatever the fuck, it's not gonna be
the biggest loss. Trucking culture is now what it used
to be too. You got those cameras inside the apps
now all the time. We got those on the railroad too.
When those happened, the party was over. There was no
more cruising through the Nevada Desert at seventy miles per
hour on a twelve thousand ton stack train listening to
Iron Maiden run to the hills on repeat. Those days

(40:15):
were over. You can't do that shit anymore. That job
must suck now anyway, talking about railroading, but I'm sure
trucking sucks too. So but I was. I was so
ecstatic that when you get to the rock of course,
and there was these cliff, these like rock out croppings,
these cliffs down at the bottom of this ravine as well.

(40:38):
But black community changes and it's no longer these shrubs.
Now it's Peridley's storophyla, it's Salvia, penguefolia, it's seed them
righty eye. It's all the cool Myriopterus ferns growing in
these little natural rock gardens. It's amazing, you know, really one.
It's one of my favorite kind of plant habitats. And

(41:01):
then ah, there we go, Jack's cutting them again. I
got them the good food. I went the natural grocer
yesterday and it's a crunchy store. It's like a it's
a crunchy hippie grocery store in Colorado Springs. Shout out
to Colorado Springs. Andy and Mandy and Allen. Excuse me,

(41:21):
had a mushroom foray. Meet at the Walmart parking lot
in Woodland Park, northwest of Colorado Springs. Then we ascend
up to nine thousand feet into the forests up there,
which did look a little rough. There's a lot of dieback.
I've seen a lot of dyeing piscey of pungeins, blue
spruce and rocky mountain dug fur. Lots of die back

(41:42):
in the forest, especially around Rudoso, which some of it
was insect probably insect native insects, but exacerbated by drought,
which is a story for the same story for pine beetles.
These were tussock moths though, I think, But anyway, it
was great. They meet in the park lot. You know
seventh when was it seven thirty pm, sunsets at eight

(42:05):
and then drive up to nine thousand feet and just
go fuck around in the woods with UV lights looking
for mushrooms that fluoresce under UV. And it's such a
nice thing, man, it's such a nice you know, people
meet each other, they become friends. Everyone's nerding out looking
at cool stuff. We gotta do more of that stuff.

(42:25):
I've seen that. I did that once in the re
I did it like twice in the Rio Grand Valley.
Just plant walks. But we got to do more of those.
You should have some too, just post some. We're all
gonna fucking meet up here in this parking lot and
fiddly fuck around and look for stuff. You know, do
your own, call it a bio blitz. Whatever you need
to do, you know, just don't spill the green tea

(42:47):
in your crotch. But yeah, it was cool. It was.
It's all quaking aspen. I didn't know aspens. Quaking aspens
are micro Hyzel two saw a cool like signum, which
is a micro hyizel Genus saw another lex signum in
Costa Rica, associating with Camaro staffless arbutodes the Madrone relative
beautiful member of the blueberry family up Pie had like

(43:10):
ten thousand feet, but that's another story. And that was
Lex siinum on Tikola. This was lex signum. What was it?
What was the other one? I don't know. I've seen
so many mushrooms over the last over the last two weeks.
You hang out with my colleges, it's gonna happen. Saw
some beautiful amanitas too. We saw Amanita popular fila in
the Capitan range. That was. That is one of my

(43:33):
favorite mound ranges. And it's you need high clearance in
four wheel drive to get up there because it is
it is fuckery, man. But you get up and you're
at like ninety two hundred feet, there's still like a
there's still a composite. I haven't identified yet. It might
be some sort of weird Genti and I don't know.
It looked like a composite to me. The flowers weren't open.
I might be mistaking, you know, the bracts around a

(43:55):
Gentian flower for fieries, but I don't think so. But
it was growing in a riparian area at ninety two
hundred feet and I didn't see any others the whole time.
Mirabolis Milano strict. What was it mirabolist Milano strow?

Speaker 2 (44:12):
What was it?

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Mirabolis? What it was one of these higher elevation Miraboli Mirabolis,
the bougain Via family, innictagienac. Would you call them when
it's plurally, you call them mirabolie. Not really, I just
made that up. I'm full of shit, but it was.
It had these black tricombs on the Milano trika. That
would be what it is. I guess it had these

(44:33):
black tricombes around the flowerheads and that was abundant up there,
but it was really dominated by by quaking aspen. And
then there was I think there was Pinus strobe offormous
rocky mountain dug fir. Pissia pungens, which of course is
one of the only conifers besides Platycletus Orientalists known to
make it in Thuja arborviti, the emerald green cultivar known

(44:58):
to survive and do well in the Midwest. It's like
Pisceea pungens blue spruce, this plant that everywhere it goes
really well with like a nicely edged lawn of a
non native European Kentucky bluegrass you know, like it's like
the Midwest. Go to an office park in the Midwest,
and before you kill yourself, which is probably why you're there.

(45:21):
I mean, that's what I would do if I felt suicidal,
I would do it in an office park because it
just it's the flavor of the surroundings. Anyway, before you
kill yourself, look at the landscaping, and you'll see a
blue spruce, a Pisceea pungeons, and a nicely manicured lawn,
probably some hostas, maybe tulips that bloom in the springtime.

(45:42):
But it was I appreciated seeing Pisca pungeons in its
native habitat. And also I appreciated, most importantly the fuck
ton of the metric fuck ton excuse me, come mostly
DC nice, the metric fuck ton of microhizle mushrooms that
associate with that. We went up to the ski apache
area up there, which is I think it's like an
I think it's an indigenous run ski area, beautiful forest

(46:06):
of God. The fucking the going up there, You're going
up these winding, winding roads, sketchy roads like if you
go off that's it, you know, and and you know
you drive by, there's not really a spot to pull off.
You're driving by like twenty thirty miles per hour. But
if you have time to stop, or if you just
don't care and you just don't I'm just gonna fucking

(46:27):
block throw whatever. Put the blinkers on, which you should do.
That's good. It's good for people. It's good for drivers.
It keeps them on their toes, prevents them from speeding,
which they shouldn't be doing anyway, because it's a narrow
winding road. You're doing it for their safety. So just
park in the middle of the lane and turn your
blinkers on and go. Look at some of the cool shit.
The Brikelia grande flora Stevia tribe upatory of the sunflower

(46:48):
family as tracy big nodding Brikelia flowers. Look at brikelly
ass from Fendleeri. Look at paracomb caught data, which is
a beautiful spherical rounded, you know, meter and a half
diameter bush. I'm looking at three. I got in the
car right now. Nobody was growing that. It's a fucking
awesome species grows in the talus on the slopes on

(47:10):
the side of the road, along with the irigoron and
the Rabinia neo Mexicana, the New Mexico locust tree with
the beautiful pink pea flowers on it. Paracomb cut data.
I got three and one gallons that Alex from the
Colorado Springs Municipal Greenhouses gave me. So they're planting those out,

(47:32):
which is fucking great because I remember when I saw
that that was one thing I was like, this is
because it's so abundant in bloom, like there's so many flowers.
It's such a fucking living feeder for cool insects, you know.
So this is we're talking about the mountains outside of Rudolsa,
New Mexico. Now, if you've been able to follow this long,

(47:52):
rambling diatribe here, the paracomb cut data was everywhere. And
a plant that I had never a member of the
Hydrangea family hydrangeyac until then, James Americana. And this is
like eight thousand feet and I think they grow James.
Yet they should grow James in Colorado Springs. Alex, if

(48:14):
you're listening, you got to get your hands in some
James the Americana man. That would probably do great in
Colorado Springs Municipal landscaping Colorado's weird though, too, because it's
it's like there's some cool people there and it's hippie ish.
You know. This old guy showed up that was dressed
like a wizard, wearing completely mushroom tight eye, like a

(48:35):
suit of mushroom tide, not a suit, but like pajamas.
This man was where he was outside wearing pajamas of
mushroom tight eye. It looked great. It was like, fuck, yeah,
you see that guy. You're like this, this place is loose,
you know, you can unclench. It's like the exact opposite
of the feeling you have in North Berkeley or in
any wealthy Caucasian neighborhood, you know, in the outer ring

(48:58):
exurbs of any major American city. Like I mean, I
don't feel safe in those places. I feel like a
combination of wanting to vomit, you know, just from cultural exposure,
the culture I'm exposed to there, and also of having
the cops called on me, you know, or some young
you know, privileged meatheads in a fucking suv, you know,

(49:21):
throwing shit at me. Uh So. Anyway, but paracomcod Data
was up there, and that's where I saw the Lithospermum therberie,
which I knew was a litho spermum. It's got those
knotting flowers. It looks more like the lithospermum, the large
ones that I've seen in Mexico, Like in Wahaka, I've

(49:41):
seen some four foot tall lithospermum with really cool pendent
white flowers. Obviously moth pollinated. If it's mouth pollinated, it
can probably get hit by hummers too, because the flowers
on both produced you know, they're long, they're tubular, and
they produce nectar. Moths have a long proboscus. Hummers got
that long beak. The fucking h summers up there too.

(50:01):
So many hummingbirds. Man, I was in this burned forest
up there, and there were hummingbirds dive bombing me. There were,
I mean, there were so many of them. They're fucking hilarious.
And then the sphinx moths were out everywhere. Highly's Lineata
and they were everywhere, you know, and it was cool
to be up there. We got up there at probably

(50:22):
four pm. You feel winding because it's nine thousand foot
elevation and we're walking past Onathra. You know. The evening primroses,
which are all closed, and when you come back down
and it's you know, after the sun has set, there
open and there's moths just hitting all of them, tons
of sphinx moths. And then there was hummingbirds everywhere, and

(50:43):
there was it was a Delphinium Neo mexicanum was up
there too, I think, which is like a five foot
tall delphinium, a five foot tall larkspur with kind of
pale violet flowers, and hummingbirds were hitting that too, I
think hummingbirds. You're so high up, there's probably not a
lot of b activity except for maybe bumble bees like

(51:04):
some of the larger bees, and so everything is really
up to hummingbird. Not everything, but most things are pollinated
by the sphinx moths. And even this is the regular
tiny moths in the hummingbirds. Jamesia. That hydrangea, remember it's
got opposite leaves hydrangeac and five pedaled flowers that I

(51:24):
was jazzed on that though, you know, dentate leaves kind
of a white and pubescent on the underside. Definitely made
an orbarium voucher. That really cool species. You know one
again another one. You're like, why the fuck is this
not being grown? But that's the whole This actually gives
me a good segue into talking about the pre order

(51:45):
of my book, which you should please do. Okay, you
can pre order it on bookshop dot org or on
Scamazon if you need to. But uh, you know, the
whole time I'm up there looking at these plants, and
it's like the same thing that happens in Texas, I'm
I'm out in quote nature, which is just the real world.
The world we made is not obviously not the real world.

(52:06):
It's bullshit. It's fake, it's phony. It's full of fucking
phony shit. You know, money grubbing sleeves, bags, morons, nut jobs,
you know, to each their own, that's everyone. We've all
got a little bit of that in us. Uh. But uh,
you know, anyway, every time I'm out of nature, I
see cool stuff and I'm like, why is this not?

(52:28):
Why is this not being grown? The habitat gets destroyed,
and then people that live in the region have no
idea that these plants even exist because they don't encounter them.
Because you have to either go out to like these
few crumbs of habitat that are left, or like a
botanic gardener. You've got to know some you've got to
actively seek out what's native. Which is how do you
do that? You're gonna you ask the Google, huh. And

(52:51):
so what you see in human landscaping is utter and
complete garbage. If it's if it's not hybridized in the
you know, the product, the pure product of hybridization and
breeding in a greenhouse, so that the flowers look attractive
to people. They may not produce any nectar or pollm
but they look attractive to humans, or at least to

(53:13):
some fucking genteel, some you know, rich doctor's wife who
volunteers at a at a botanic garden. You know, if
they're not pure products of human creation and breeding, then
then they're native five thousand miles away. And so in

(53:34):
the native plants just get written off as weeds. They're
just green weeds. They don't flower. I mean they do flower,
but you know, the plants are supposed to be flowering
all the time, right, that's like the human conception of
what plants are supposed to do. They flower all the time,
and they just felt pretty. They're so pretty and showy,

(53:55):
and they've got nice colors and variegated leaves Uh, you know,
it drives me fucking nuts, but I see the same
thing everywhere anyway, that that's part of what my book
is about. Concrete Botany. You can pre order it on
bookshop dot org. There's a link to it. What was it,
genie j no G E N I dot us. Uh,

(54:20):
where the fuck did this go? Let me look this up.
I'll give you a link and then there's a it's
got a link to everything. Yeah, G E N I
dot us forward slash concrete Botany. You type that into
the Google and you can pre order the book. And
if you pre order the book, it helps me out
because I just canceled the book with another shitty publisher.
The publisher I used for this book for Concrete Botany

(54:42):
is great. You write him an email. I get back
to you the next day, very attentive. It feels like
you're actually working on a project with someone. The publisher
that I use, that that duped me into writing the
Crime Pace Monograph, which after two years of working with
these fucking jed rules, I finally said, fuck this, I
want to cancel this contract. You guys open to it,
and they of course were like yeah, because they didn't

(55:04):
want to work it. They had a high turnover rate.
You know, I'm not going to name the publisher. It
wasn't Abram's Press, fuck them. But I just repaid the
advance anyway. So but it was a load off my
shoulders there. You know. I wanted to design to look
a certain way. They said they just weren't going to
do it. They weren't. They never even read the manuscript.

(55:24):
I think they're just stretched too thin, and they're probably
the employees are underpaid. I know they're underpaid. One of
them was ranting to me about how she hated working
there and how her boss was an asshole. But that's
Abram's Press for you sign. I don't think I signed
anything that says I can't talk shit about them. But
they've done some good stuff. They're just horrible to work with.

(55:46):
If you actually need to get a project done, you've
already got it done already. It's great you send it
to them. But anyway, so if you do the praetors,
then I can you know it'll it'll look good. I
can pitch this the actual Crime Pays monograph that I've
already got partially done and was designing myself to them.

(56:07):
Really nice habitat shots, macro shots of flowers, artwork. It's
a monograph of the crime pays, but Bodany doesn't system
the world. The crime pays, but Bodany doesn't world. The
crime pays, but Bodany doesn't. Bonanza a meat bonanza. Have
you ever gone to a meat bonanza at a grocery store?

(56:27):
It doesn't sound disgusting, It just sounds like colon cancer.
But these mountains, the Ski Apache area, like near Rudoso,
was fucking wonderful, just so pleasant up there, even though
the forest was entirely burned and there was a lot
of snisio. There was Iris missouriensist up there. You know,

(56:49):
it was burned, so major disturbance event. Most of what
was coming back was pioneer species, herbaceous stuff, perennial herbaceous
perennials or small shrubs getting started. There was like two
years ago, I think. But you know that whole area
has been in a drought for years, and I think
that's why the forest looked like shit. Even the ones
that didn't burn were just they were rough. God damn.

(57:13):
It was nice though, and you're up so high you
can see the Milky Way and Rudoso is like a
small town anyway. What's that bakery there? You go to
this little bakery. They got a nice little bakery sandwich
spot in Rudoso. I went through twice. They've been so
friendly there, too friendly and affordable, but little bakery. Oh
if you live in Minnesota, by the way, and I'm

(57:37):
gonna be in Morris, I'm going to Morris, Minnesota on
September what is it, eighteenth, No, nineteenth, it's a Friday.
I'm going there, Yeah, the nineteenth, Friday, September nineteenth to Sunday,
September twenty first. I'm gonna be hosting some It's a

(57:58):
private thing. I think it's something to the public. If
you go to UM Morris at the More the Lovely
Morris Eco Station. We're going out to some research station.
But either on Thursday the eighteenth or Monday, September twenty second.
Monday would actually be easier. If anybody can help me
schedule an event. I'd love to do a kill your

(58:18):
Lawn presentation, you know, make it cheap five ten bucks
or something I don't know at any venue, and then
sell some merch and other shit. I gotta print more shirts,
but that would be cool. I mean I might as well.
It'd be fun. I like doing that shit, and you know,
I don't need to make a shit ton of money,
just enough for gas and to you know, get down,

(58:41):
back up and fucking you know, paid for the time
that I'm away from my kid, which is you know,
the most important thing. But that would be fun, you know.
Or we could just do a fucking plan walk. We
could do both. Mike stay, I stay, go up there
for Friday through Sunday, then stay Monday and Tuesday, do
a presentation on lawng killing that plant walk something like that.

(59:01):
I don't know. I'll be in Chicago the first two
weeks of September, which Chicago and September is so nice.
I can't wait to smell the river, which doesn't smell
like it used to, and it's a good thing. I
kind of like the old smell, though I don't know
what it was. Maybe it was some bacteria that eats

(59:23):
you know, sulfur compounds, or some shit in the in
the water. I don't know, but I'll be there, and
the drive up is gonna be rough. I think I'm
gonna stop in Saint Louis for a day two and
and do some stuff there. I got some orebarium specimens
to drop off at MOBI and then other shit. You know,

(59:44):
the Missouri Botanical Garden. Albuquerque's got this nice free and
actually it's not free, it's I think they charge something,
but you maybe you could sneak in. It's the what's
it called the bio something biopark, But they got like
a nice little cactus garden and some cool natives and stuff,
and you know it's it's uh, if you're if you're

(01:00:05):
in Albuquerque. I was, you know, I just said it
because I was there today. It's nice. Where's all the
good ship in Albuquerque? Huh? My friend ken Ken Davis,
the sign painter, took me. He did the crime page logo,
hung out with him for a day. He took me
to a wonderful Takorea. Was a fantastic experience. You know,

(01:00:26):
grimey talker, the grimy Takoia is always the best ones.
And you want you want. If it's not a significant
amount of dirty, it's not going to be good. And
good food. Something else that was pretty cool that I
wasn't expecting to see. I'd never seen it before. It's
this was in New Mexico. On the way up to
the Capitan Range. Was you know, there's this. I saw

(01:00:49):
this planet the side of the road when I slowed down.
I thought it was apac At first, I thought, you know,
I had like tiny white flowers kind of in an numble.
They weren't an umble and linear leaves. I thought it
was some you know, carrot family members, some apiacious some
little apiacious thing. And then I got up close and
I realized it was Asclepias. It was a Sclepias subvertisslata,

(01:01:11):
which I hadn't seen in a few years. It's a
you know, a milk weed that probably is a big
underground spreading rhizome or maybe just tubers, you know, like
most of the milkweeds do. Uh. And it only gets
eighteen inches tall at most. Was grown with Zenia grande flora,
and uh, you know all that all that cool like

(01:01:34):
limestone New Mexico high desert shit. But what Alan noticed,
and this was remarkable, it was really cool, was that
there was a fungus that had parasitized the fruits of
this asclepias and mutated it. You know, they related to
the same fungus Puccinia that does it too in the

(01:01:56):
family in the the order of Puccini Alies p U. C.
C I, N I A.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
L E. S.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
It's an orange rust fungus, and there's one that does
it to brassicas as well to brassica flowers in North
America to observed before I forget the species name. But anyway,
it's a rust fungus and this it it hijacks the
host and then mutates the fruits into it turns the
fruits into spore producing structures. And so these milkweed follicles,

(01:02:28):
the milk you know, follicles as to what milkweed fruits
are called, had been turned into these these rusty orange
Oh he's standing up, which you got a puke or
you shit or what. I don't know. Maybe it's just
a nervous pant. I don't know. He's old. Leave them alone.
But uh, but yeah, so this was it turned out
to be Puccinia chloritis chloridis, which I think has only

(01:02:51):
been observed five or six times on I naturalist. It's
a little known rust fungus that hijacks that that hijacks
the host, that hijacks milkweeds and turns the fruits into
these weird twisted structures. They look all fucked up with
tons of little orange spore bearing structures on them. So it's,

(01:03:14):
you know, that was fucking weird to see. It was
really cool to see. And I forget someone i'd eated
on iinat Alan knew he was in Puccini Alias and
he collected it and hopefully he'll sequence it. But yeah,
that was fucking weird, man. It's it's always weird to
see that. You should look up the one the piccinia
that grows on uh what is it a drava. It

(01:03:39):
grows on a mustard, a member of the brassa case.
But it does the same thing, and it turns the
flowers into and I think it uses the whatever pollinates
the flowers that is this mustard. It uses those insects
to help disperse the sportes. Really cool, really weird. You know,
fungi are tricky, man. All those fucking mountains look great,

(01:04:01):
uplifted layers of sediment now flipped at forty five degree angles,
maybe even steeper, you know, somewhat like the Sierra Madre
Oriental in beautiful Nueva Leone, Mexico. How many bottles of
trucks stop you're in Can you dapple alongside the roar

(01:04:24):
like Christmas ornaments on a tree made of fastphalt. I've
seen one gallon jugs turning orange in the sun with
piss that's run through the kidneys of a three hundred
pound man. It's all high fruit thus corn syrup. Anyway,
so we just passed through El Paso. I feel like

(01:04:45):
this is I feel like this is the exact same
podcast that I did two weeks ago, but in reverse
it kind of is. I'm sorry, you know, I did
stop in uh, where the fuck was a pups phoeb Pueblo, Colorado.
I stopped there yesterday. Why because I saw a nice

(01:05:06):
wash with some nice shale exposures, some strata, some strata
on the side of the road from the freeway going by.
I was rubberneck and I'm always driving like fifteen miles
per hour under the speed limit. You know, you don't
like it, fuck you, especially when it's like some I
like obstructing. You know, it's like a large truck, like

(01:05:26):
a giant oversized truck. I'm not fifteen under the speed limit,
but I'm going slower, you know I am. Some cop
tried to give me a speeding to I talked about
this already. Maybe I didn't. I probably didn't. Maybe I
fucking did.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
I don't know. I've lost track of the days. I
don't know what time it is. I don't even know
where I barely know where I am anymore. Someone has
to lead me around. I asked Alan the other day
where the talk he was given at in Colorado Springs.
It was at u See, Colorado Springs. They got it
with wonderful facilities. By the way, It was in Sentinel

(01:06:00):
Centennial what was it, Centennial Hall this Sentinel. It was
in Centennial Hall, Room two oh three, nice lecture hall.
And I was like, oh, where is it? He's like,
I don't know. People just sign me up for things
to speak and then they they they tell me where
to go after. That's kind of what I feel like.
But I was. I stopped in Pueblo, saw the Pueblo Colorado,

(01:06:21):
which there's a bunch of rare plants there. It was
like a rare ariagonum and some other stuff. All the
really cool shit. The rare, really rare stuff in Colorado
is around the Grand Junction area, like ariagonum, e fedroides
and oh, there's a bunch of cool shit. There's a parthenium.

(01:06:42):
There's a weird oxytropis, and they grow on these really
weird uh really barren and what must be very brutal exposures.
There's some gypsum exposures too. It looks all like bubbly
looks like bubbly baking soda. But anyway, I saw these
shale this this wash. The shale road cut in like

(01:07:02):
limestone up top and uh stopped there and there was
a there was all kinds of cool shit. I love
that habitat, so much openings and sparse juniper woodland with
likes some grasses. There was a lot of boodolua curdipendula
boodolua grass lists and then just kind of barren openings.

(01:07:26):
There was a cool Oreo carria. It wasn't none of
this stuff was flowering except for ariogonum James the eye,
which who does in love a buckwheed? Right? All the
ariogonums are great. But there was an oxytropist, and there
was a adahlia, and and a weird uh oreo carria too,

(01:07:47):
with the stiff hairs. You know, barajinaci. You touch those
leaves and you could feel it, those stiff hairs. And
then there was a pencimen that had gone to seed.
It was an a call lesson pensmen. It didn't have
a stem. It was really cool. So like these little glabrous, narrow,
spoon shaped leaves just sticking up from this limestone. Talis. God,

(01:08:08):
it looks so fucking great. Fossils everywhere, fossils in the wash.
There was Menzilia deca, pedola, Escobaria vivipara, you know, very
common cactus but always a pleasure to see. There was
a dieteria, and there was a liatris and uh, some
weird Brikellia. I guess there's like twelve species of Brikellia

(01:08:29):
in Colorado. EUPATORI this this Stevia tribe, the eupatorium and
Stevia tribe. This ship was that which just fell down?

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
What is this?

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
I'm driving? It was my camera? Oh fuck, oh god?
You know I'm going eighty miles per hour. Ow. These
fucking truckers are just they're out of control, so am
I though they're all jacked up on speed. I just
drank a lot of green tea. You've been pissing every
forty five minutes. You know, I'm pissing like an eighty
year old man with a with an active prostate, you know,

(01:08:59):
an IRT prostate. But yeah, so I stopped in these
I just I got off the at the next exit,
which was like five miles down, backtracked to this exposure.
Looked it up on onyx hunt. By the way, whoever
hooked me up with that app. Somebody hooked me up
with a free account. You know who you are, thank you,

(01:09:22):
and looked it up, made sure it wasn't you know,
make sure it was either an absentee owner or state land,
which it was, so I couldn't be prosecuted. Well, I'm
sure I could get prosecuted for trespassing, but it was
less likely to be a big deal. And then I
have to fence, you know, which is fine because in
Colorado and you're not in Texas, barbed wire fences are

(01:09:45):
just meant to keep cattle in. They're not meant to
keep people out. They got to hang a sign if
they don't watch you in there. But some really cool
bad land formations. It got me a little horny for Kansas.
Parts of Kansas. I've been in some cool bad lands
in Nebraska to God. I remember this one time I
was someone was someone paid me one hundred bucks, which

(01:10:09):
was wasn't that much. But I was already in Chicago
anyway to drive a car from the suburbs of Chicago
that they had purchased from a friend of theirs to
them in Reno, and so I stopped in a bunch
of places. This is the time I stopped in Des Moines,
and I'd been eating fucking edible so I was still
doing pot back then, and I was high out of them.
I wasn't high out of my mind, but I was high,

(01:10:32):
and I stopped on the side of the road to
look at that patch of Salvia azurea. It's on the
side of the road. Where is it fucking des Moines
or Davenportrait, I don't know. There's a river to the east.
It's a highway on ramp. Beautiful patch of Asclepius h
syriaca and Salvia azurea, tall blu sage which you can

(01:10:52):
grow in the Chicago area, but I guess doesn't naturally
occur there. It's further west, but it's a wonderful four
foot tall bl prairie stage. I was looking at it
and I've been smoking the dope. I've been smoking pat
And I was in this little Subaru, which I would
never be caught dead in driving. No offense to any
super owners. Alan's a Super owner. I just, you know,

(01:11:15):
I just feel like it's too much of a It's
too easy for people to put you in demographic slots
in that car. You know. It's like a meathead's always
going to be driving a giant Dodge Ram and like
the the token Caucasian liberals always gonna be a super anyway. Uh.
And so I I got the hatch of the Super
open to get something out. I don't know, my fucking

(01:11:37):
tea or something. I'm always drinking. I'm always drinking from
the you know, I'm always drinking tea or whatever. Anyway,
And and then I got back in the car and
was driving up the on ramp, and this giant truck
behind me was honking at me, you know, and I'm thinking, Ah,
you fucking meet, I'm not going fast enough for you.
What do you want? I go fuck yourself? And I'm
just kind of saying about it. But I didn't no

(01:11:59):
hand gesture or anything. I was just thinking that to myself,
you know, Hey, it was just a thought crime. And
the guy's honking at me, and I'm like, the fuck
is this guy's prom I didn't do anything, fucking asshole. Hey,
you fucking you redneck schmuck, you fucking meet head. And
then I realized he was trying to warm me because
my my stone ass had left the back of the

(01:12:20):
Subaru wide open. All this shit was falling out. Ah,
it was classic. When was that It was like twenty fifteen,
I don't know. I think it was twenty fifteen, but anyway,
but I stopped in Nebraska on that trip and saw
some beautiful badland formations. It was northern Nebraska, and there
was this one cool uh spot because the badlands there's

(01:12:44):
not a lot of plants, but the plants that you're
gonna find there on geologic exposures like that are gonna
be fucking wild and unique and probably endemic to that
kind of soil and just generally cool. But I went
to this one specially as fuck con truck. These guys
are these guys are all over the road. Hah, what
are you doing? You eat an ice cream bar, You're

(01:13:05):
fishtailing all over to spy, You're gonna throw You're gonna throw,
you know, five hundred wal Mart TVs all over the
side of the fucking on ram. Why don't you settle down?
God damn it, what a horrible job that's gotta be.
It's all right, AI will all be enslaving us at
some point soon in eradicating all of these jobs, and

(01:13:28):
then they'll just be heartless, unthinking AI driven trucks running
over small children on the freeway. But but anyway, so
I was in Nebraska going to this bad land, these
bad lands, and I thought I was alone. I walk
up and it was like a Christian They were adults.

(01:13:53):
I don't know what it was. It was fucking weird.
They were dressed up like uh, you know, like it
was like it was thirty a D. The year thirty
a D. But it was vivid, very vivid colors. I
don't think they had polyester and thirty eight D. But
they were dressed up and they were doing like a
Bible reenactment or something. But like everybody was pink because

(01:14:15):
it was Nebraska. Was like, yeah, he was a Caucasian,
but whatever. I'm not knocking. I'm just saying everybody was pink.
You know, you could tell they were from more northerly latitudes,
probably very you know, burning in that hot sun. It
was September and Nebraska in those bad land formations. But
I and I walked up on him, and I was like,
you know, I was with the jack, I was with
a dog and everything. And I think I had my

(01:14:37):
shirt offs. I was because it was sweaty, you know.
And uh yeah, I think I just maybe they were
as spooked as of me as I was of them. Oh,
Van Horn, beautiful van Horn, Texas. Have you ever tasted
the flavor of van Horn? Come? Come visit Van Horn, Texas? Population?

(01:14:59):
What is the popular here? Three hundred? How many horrors? No,
I'm not knocking the horse of Van Horn. I'm just
saying it's you know, that's a that's a badge of honor.
I would be a horror in Van Horn. Oh fuck,
I got off at the wrong exit. Okay, anyway, when's
the last time he got rolled by a Texas sheriff

(01:15:20):
or by the DPS Department of Public Safety. I haven't
been rolled. I got rolled on this road actually a
while ago, south of Van Horn for being a horn
van Horn. The sheriff knew, he knew my background. Anyway, Uh,
you know, I look forward to getting rolled by Texas cops.

(01:15:41):
I think it's fun. I have fun with them, not
like teasing them. But you know, officer, I'm lonely. Will
you talk to me? Sometimes you just need a friend.
And that's why God made you roll me. That's why
God made you pull me over, because he knew that
I was lonely and you were lonely too. And now
I can try. I didn't doctrinate you and tell you

(01:16:02):
about some cool shit that you never saw before, tell
you to get you to you know, look at some plants,
take some photos in your free time. You're sitting there,
parked on the side of the road. Anyway, I know
what you're doing, especially Border patrol. I see them out there,
you know, parked like a fucking kidnapper van, like a
bunch of beetles in an ice cream truck waiting. You know,
what are they doing in there? Why don't you get

(01:16:23):
out and you take a little waltz and go look
at some fucking uh, you know, go look at some
plants or rocks or something. You gotta get fucking bored
in there. You don't want to just think about people,
you know what, I just think about the human world
that's depressing, and then you know, three or four minutes
of that's normally. Oh, they can stand and then they
just they they grow tired and they walk away, and

(01:16:45):
then they leave me. I've been left so many times
by the cops. One of them got excited once I
had a pill bottle. It was like an old uh
antibiotic bottle, and I had some, but I had like
tailand or something they got. He got so excited when
he saw it in the glove compartment. I had a
splitting headache. Oh fucking day. It wasn't the glove compartments
in the console. He said, what's that? I said, don't

(01:17:09):
get excited, officer, you know, kind of joking with them,
teasing him, you know, giving him the piss a little bit.
But uh, anyway, the worst thing you can do with cops, ever,
is act nervous. Don't fucking do that. Act like they're
just some working class schmuck. And you're not doing anything
wrong either, even if you got you know, six pounds
of has Sheih in the car, because you're not doing

(01:17:30):
anything wrong. The laws aren't equated with morality. That's something
you should teach your kids. Laws aren't equated with morality.
It's like my daughter. I want her to know. I
don't want her to blindly follow rules. I want her
to question why the rule exists and then evaluated herself, Well,
that rule exists to protect someone from falling off a building,
or from getting hit by a car, or be you know,

(01:17:54):
to prevent them from taking more than their fair share.
You know, it's a regulatory aparatus, you know. I want her.
I want her to know that some rules are stupid
and some rules are good. But think about why the
rule exists. Always ask why? Why? Why? Why don't fucking
blindly accept anything? Ask why people do things? That's why

(01:18:14):
you do something anyway, So you know, the cops maybe
they roll you, maybe they don't. I think when I
first moved here, I was getting rolled a bunch. They
just want to sniff on you like a dog, like
what are you doing here? But they can sense that
nervous you when you do that nervous bullshit. You know,
the worst thing you can do is do that college
talk that fucking I don't have to answer any of

(01:18:36):
your credits to I don't have to show you my idea.
Just do it and get away. Think like a criminal
instead of a college student, right, think like an actual
criminal strategy. Anyway. I mean that's just good advice for life.
I think, you know, evaluate every situation differently, and again,

(01:18:58):
remember laws aren't Maralei. I've gotta go. I've gotta drop
a bunch of shit off at the your burium tomorrow.
I have to type up labels. I need to start
doing that. I just do it on my phone now
on the Google Docs app. That's the easiest way. And
uh god, it's like the most unfun part of anything. Though,
I'm excited about this, Peri Ella. Though, Perry Ella, it

(01:19:22):
was almost like persoapedastrum, which is another weird legume that
I found in the the deserts of the Cardone deserts,
the giant cactus deserts of Baja near El Rosario. It's
a weird fucking legume, Persapo dastrum. The rest of the
genus is in Argentine. I think, how we doing on
snacks in the cart? The dogs are being so good. God,

(01:19:48):
I stopped at a rest stop and did you know
I did one hundred push ups hundred squats. You gotta
get some exercise otherwise just gonna rot on your ass.
You know you really everything starts declining, especially the older
you get. Gotta do those exercises, even just cardio. I
can't wait to get on a bike, you know, except
it's dangerous in Texas because the drivers are terrible and

(01:20:09):
everybody's a couple. Sandwich is short of a picnic basket,
no offense, especially when it comes to driving. The infrastructure
is just not set up for it, you know, those
fast cholos down there in a Rio Grand Valley. Though.
You got to bike in numbers. You got to be
in groups, you know. That's how you avoid getting clabbered
by some fucking it's a young edgar or some old

(01:20:31):
you know, some middle aged housewife driving a fucking tank.
You know it's all right over you. She wouldn't even
feel it, you know, after fucking front wheel goes over
your head, she wouldn't even notice. You'd think it was
a speed bump or something. The first night that we
spent that because me, me Alan and Manny at all,

(01:20:52):
we posted that we found like a camping spot, which
is just like car camping. It's a spot to roll
out For me. I just sleep in the back of
the truck. They set up a ten when I was
in alimal Gordo, I went on Facecrook marketplace and bought
like a thirty dollars raggedy food time. It wasn't super raggedy,
but it was a little tarnished thirty dollars footon mattress.

(01:21:14):
And that's when you got that in a camper shell
in your truck. You set you could go anywhere, you know,
take all the shit out in the when you go
to sleep, and the footon just folds up vertically. It's
like a more like a it's like a glorified foam pad.
It's not so much a foodton if it was a
food time to be very thin, but it's comfortable enough
to sleep on, you know, me and the two dogs.

(01:21:36):
You snuggle up with them and uh. But the first
night I got there, all the Onacera the evening Primrose,
it's a stupid name, Primrose. It's not a precisx. Onathra
Primrose is entirely different family anyway. Onathra, a lotta had
just opened. It's like a coalescent on Anatha gets I

(01:22:01):
don't know, two feet tall and they had just opened.
It was at dusk and the amount of sphinx moths.
I saw hitting these things was so impressive. And you
know the sphinx moths, they're like some of those wolf spiders.
They've got that to feed them in their eyes so
they they reflect light. They look like little crystals, you know,

(01:22:21):
like these winged pairs of crystal eyes with a long
ass prosca. Some of the fucking probosca i is that
how he is up the plural of proboscis. Some of
the proboscu i on these things are like six inches long,
which in some cases doesn't make them effective pollinators because
they can just stick their little tube into the flower

(01:22:42):
without haven't actually contact the stamens. But then some would
actually dive into this open yellow funnel. Oh not there.
A lot of flowers are like the size of a baseball.
I was having so much fun, man, I could watch
those things all night, but you gotta get them at
dust because at once they once you got the fly
flashlight on, they avoid you, which makes you think, how

(01:23:05):
you know, man, the amount of light pollution. There's so
much light pollution where I live in State of Texas too.
It's fucking obscene. It's fucking obscene. They've got these led billboards.
I really hope someone would shoot some one of those
fucking led billboards out with an Air fifteen. That's like
the only that's one of the only good things. That's
one of the only things that an AR fifteen is

(01:23:26):
good for, besides uh, you know, shooting pigs. What the
fuck is this? Oh, it's like a car towing another car. Man.
The amount of duct tape they got on this thing
is wild. Thing's decorated with duct tape. And it's a
vehicle if there ever was one, because it's not the
not the best the pr for the cops. You know,

(01:23:48):
my truck's a cop magnet now too, because like the
fender fall fell off. It ripped off. Well, I dentit
it when I was in the Cooks Range in New
Mexico checking out that disjunct stand of Arizona Cyprus. The
only New Mexico population of Arizona cypress hugging the north
facing side of a cliff. Total refugia. Ah wow, beautiful

(01:24:11):
example of a refugium, you know, because that area, like
Deming area as Crucisiy is very hot, very hot and dry.
But on the north side of this cliff in a
Cooks Range, there's that that really cool dis junk population
Arizona Cypress. Anyway, I was, I was trying to get

(01:24:33):
up there, and I think I abandoned it because there
was still snow on the ground, but I backed up
into a fucking boulder or something. I don't know, man,
All I know is the fender suddenly was dragging on
the ground and then uh, and now it's gone. It's
been lost to the mean highways of New Mexico somewhere,

(01:24:54):
probably near Ruidoso. But it just wasn't there anymore. So
that's the only reason to get a something like that fixed.
Because I don't care about aesthetics, but if it's gonna
mean the cops are rolling, if it makes you hot
and you just don't want to deal with the pain
in the aid of getting stopped all the time. But again,
it can be fun, you know, you can make talking
to cops fun. If there's one one thing Alan taught me.

(01:25:19):
I mean, I kind of learned on my own already,
but Alan definitely goes that same route. You know, talk
to the cops to talk to him. Just talk, You
talk at them eventually they and be really nice and
just tell them about all to use it as an
opportunity to run your mouth about all the things you're
excited about at the at the Onathra a lot of

(01:25:42):
spot the camping spot. When we were in a Sierra
Blancas near Rudoso, there was another cool plan. It was
a potentilla, which is Potentilla is in the rose family
rose s. It's got leaves kind of like strawberry. They're hairy,
their paulmate tend to be paul mate. There's many different
variations on a potentilla. There's quite a few species. It's

(01:26:03):
like the northern hemisphere equivalent of a quina a c
A E. N a, which is mostly Southern American hairy, hairy, dentate,
margin leaved rose family member A. Cana in the in
the South America and potentilla and in the northern northern Americas. Anyway, Uh,

(01:26:28):
there was a potentilla and I normally ignore them because
they're just kind of all looked the same, you know,
no offense. There's different variations, but you know, yellow generally
yellow flowers and strawberry like leaves. They can be call escent,
they can be a collescent and just on the you know,
creeping on the ground. But this one was like a
blood red flower. It was Potentilla therberai. It's a fucking

(01:26:50):
gorgeous plant. And again, why is nobody growing you? If
you live in New Mexico, you need to find that,
you need to get seeds and you need to grow it.
And if you know anybody growing it, email me or
let me know. Also, if you've got any native plant
nursery info, check the Native Plant Nursery directory and the
Crime Pays website should be a link to it in

(01:27:12):
the main menu up there. Native Plant Nursery directory and
see if your nursery of choice in your state is
on there and if it's not, and Canada too, and
if it's not, send me a fucking link. And also
I'll do other countries as well, so New Zealand, Australia, Chile, Brazil.
I don't think Brazil even has anything resembling a native

(01:27:32):
plant movement. Hopefully it does sometime. Wherever Europe, wherever you know,
people always ask me what's your favorite I thought of
this today because I was talking to a friend and
I was explaining some of the cool shit I saw
in Mina Shuriyes, Brazil and one of my favorite genera.

(01:27:55):
Because people ask me a lot, like what's your favorite
geni are we say or genus? What's your favorite plant
that we say, oh well, which because it's so weird,
But that's an easy one. But lick nafra and the
aster ac. There are relatives of iron weeds and the
bernonioid that can resemble spruces or like four foot tall
bonzite or dwarfed pine trees, pines and spruces. That would

(01:28:18):
probably be my second one. That would be the other,
the other plant. It's a whole genus. There's like five
dozen species if not more. That just blows my mind
because they look so unlike anything else. They're so weird.
They grow on this nutrient poor quartzitic sandstone in minas
your eyes Brazil, not in a desert, but in a

(01:28:42):
dry tropical forests, not forested in dry tropical settings, so
you know, wet summer, rainy season with lots of rain,
sometimes six feet two meters, and then you know long
dry winters and that dry winter and that nutrient poor sandstone.
For some reason, it just makes some wild shit evolve.

(01:29:03):
It looks like no other. The plants that look like
nothing else, you'd see very Sussian, very Doctor Susian. It's
not the Phil Collins song, Sussio. It did sound like that, though.
I was blaaring Phil Collins the other day. I don't
know why I got a wild hair up my ass.
It is grocery store music, but I was thinking about

(01:29:24):
old Phil, you know, you listen to it somewhat ironically.
I've been listening to the O C's a lot. Actually,
John Dwyer's band, John Dwyer that I knew from San Francisco,
not personally. I would see him around town and I'd
say hi to woman. Shit. But this is like twenty
years ago. But he was in a band called the

(01:29:45):
Coach Whips, and he was in his band called OC's
that's still around. They're pretty good. They're pretty goddamn good.
I forgot about that anyway, but yeah, so they have
lick nafra l y C H know PHO r A.
Look it up and you'll have your fucking mind blown.

(01:30:06):
You know. The only giveaway that it's related to vernonias
to ironweeds is when you find the flowers and they
they look like vernonia flowers. They're they're there, you know,
snuggled into the spruce like sclerophyll leaves with the fuzzy
undersides on this thing that looks like a Krumholtz spruce tree.

(01:30:29):
It's like a woody, a small woody dwarfs. They're so
fucking weird, man, God, I'd love to go back there.
Mines Jerryas and Bahia Brazil. Brazil is so nice. You know,
you go to a truck stop. They got nice food.
They got like buffets of like healthy shit, not this
poison that we're used to. And in Mexico and in

(01:30:51):
the United States and Canada too, I'm sure, but you know,
I don't really who goes to Canada? What do you
do in Canada? What do you do up there? I
kind of avoid Canada. But yeah, potentila thirbrik. Find it,
get some seed, grow the shit out of it, and
let me know how it goes. Because that is a
beautiful potentilla. What selects for that that red flower? Because

(01:31:16):
I mean I would assume it's you know, butterflies or hummingbirds,
but it's not a tube flower. Does it produce a
lot of nectar? I guess so. I got some nice
money shots of it, but it is it's it's wild.
But yeah, we were posted up at that campsite for
two nights, three nights. It was very comfortable, and it

(01:31:38):
was like seventy nine hundred foot elevation, a little right
next to a little creek, and it was right next
to like some loud, obnoxious generating shack, like generator shack
that was had some pump station too, so nobody else
wanted to post up there. But it was still I mean,
it wasn't that loud. We were parked like sixty feet

(01:31:59):
away from and it was pleasant. I love sleeping in
the back of that truck man. It's that's how I
lived for twelve years of my life before I moved
to Texas, which has no public land, and you can't
do that shit. And it's just the hottest balls all
the time. Because of the increased humidity and the warmer
night temperatures, you get all that humidity in the air,
though nights don't cool down as much. Anyway, this drive

(01:32:22):
is almost over, Thank god, it's been brutal. I'm gonna
sign off here. We'll end it here again. Concrete Botany
is available for pre order if you want to. If
you want to order it, you can order it from
Scamazon Barnes Andnoble Bookshop dot organ For a longer list
of availabilities. For preorder, go to ge n I dot

(01:32:47):
us forward slash concrete botany like genius with a period
between the I and the U forward slash concrete botany.
And I hope you like it. It's not gonna be
out the fucking April, but you pre order it now,
it'll it'll. It'll help me out because I'm trying to
push this outther monograph, which is gonna be really nice.

(01:33:08):
I'm doing the layout myself. Nice habitat shots, nice macro
shots of flowers and intro crash course to plant id
some cool a lot of cool drawings, and I have
some some some written words, some written explanations of the plants,

(01:33:29):
and then written explanations of how to really how to
learn botany. I guess, for lack of better word, the
crime pays monograph hardcover, but I got to convince them
to take this pitch. I'll find some other publisher if
they don't want to, but I'd like to go. You know,
the person I worked with at this publisher was so pleasant.

(01:33:50):
Jessicad at you, thank you. She don't listen to this
podcast but it's still you know, just put it out
there into the ether. Just super helpful. Man. It actually
felt like, you know, like you're working on a project.
The first book I did with my friend Matt Ritter
on his publisher, Pacific Street Publishing, and that was easy.
He made it easy, him and Sarah's wife, wonderful people.

(01:34:12):
Holy hell. And then Jessica Cordo's been super helpful. But
Abrams was a fucking nightmare. I'm so glad I'm not
doing it with them anymore. They only wasted two years
of my time and a bunch of my energy. But anyway,
but yeah, but do the pre order and then I'll
be you w No, you am Morris in beautiful Morris, Minnesota.

(01:34:38):
What is it September nineteenth, the Friday through Sunday and
so and then I'm gonna try to schedule like a
kill your Lawn presentation, meet up, slash plant walk, slash
shoot the Shit session whatever the Thursday before that or
the Monday after. And so if you live I guess
i'd probably do it in Minneapolis. If you live in
Minneapolis or somewhere else and you want to help hulk

(01:34:59):
that up, find a venue or anywhere that would be
down where I can, you know, get a present do
get a presentation going. They got a screen or something,
maybe a mic set up. I can be pretty loud
without a mic. That would be fun to do. Or
we could just do a plant walk or something whatever.
And then I'll be in Chicago, uh for the first

(01:35:22):
two weeks in September and hanging out with Al and
we'll be trying to probably plan something then as well.
So uh man Chankas. I want to see chalka source
again too. There's like but now there's like five chankasare
there's like five giant snapping turtles in that little section
of the Wild Mile on the Chicago River. It's still
so crazy to think about. They got beavers, They're not.

(01:35:44):
I got coyotes. Well, coyotes have been a constant in
Chicago for twenty years, but the beavers is fucking wild. Yeah,
So that'll be fun. And then I'm just gonna try
to relax the next two weeks, but that's probably not
going to work. I can't so anyway, hopefully you got
something out of this. Forgive the amount of shorts on

(01:36:05):
the YouTube channel doing short videos. I just needed a break.
I needed to go on hiatus from long form content
for the last month. It's been exhausting. I've got so
many videos left to make still anyway, but but yeah,
preorder the book, send me an email if you want,
keep it short and uh yeah, I don't know you.

(01:36:28):
Why don't you tell me to go fuck myself instead
of me saying it to you and tell me to
go fuck myself? Oh wait there right now? All right? Thanks? Okay,
yeah you too, you too, buddy, right back at you.
Have a good rest of your night. Go fuck your bike.

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