Hollistic Healing Colon Cleanse in Gypsum Habitats

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Crime
Pays but Bideny doesn't podcast. I want to take this
opening stance to say thank you to d Wexler, your source,
your steel supply warehouse, your source for steel. Should you
need to buy a truck better steel, Say you're welding something,

(00:22):
you know you gotta go down there. You gotta go
to d Wexler right there on the south side of Chicago.
They've been a proud sponsor kind of of the of
the podcast for a while now. Thanks shout out to
d Wexler. Shout out to d Wexler, d Wexler Steals,
Dwexler and Sons Steel Warehouse located at forty eight to

(00:47):
twenty one South Aberdeen Street, Chicago, Illinois, six six nine. Seriously, though,
I got I'm gonna make it down there one day.
I bet it's a beautiful property. I bet it's like
the good spelled with. I land this altissima, which is
invasive as hell, but it's okay because this is like
a fucking industrial site where the soil is poisoned. Anyway,

(01:09):
you know, I land this altissimo growing out a maybe
maybe you probably got some milk weeds in the alley
nearby and next to a rusty fence and milkweeds as
sleepy as Syriaca is a pioneer native pioneer species. Probably
got some cottonwoods, some box elders nearby, probably buck thorn
in the woods behind, you know, the the alley or something,

(01:30):
not the woods, but like the alley I grew up in.
I grew up in places like that. Normally I was
in places like that looking for abandoned buildings to do
graffiti in. But we're just looking for fun shit to
get into, old train tracks, that kind of thing. But anyway,
shout out to d Wex learn Son. Anyway, A lot
of stuff to talk about today, A lot of stuff

(01:50):
I wanted to just warn everyone. And the first this
is going to be a rant about permaculture and anything
the words holistic food for or know those red flag
words you see where I shut down. I no judgment
at all, no judgment because that stuff gets some people
into this into this science, all right, or just the

(02:11):
worldview of looking at everything, not just the anthropocentric things
that are immediately beneficial to us, not just the human myopia.
But goddamn, when I see words like food, forest holistic.
Any of that, I just start fucking running for the
hills or I start crying inside. No, no, no, God,

(02:32):
why do I have to be about that? No? You
know what I mean? It's ah. There was a post
that went up that I was, and I went up
with some friends from Symbiosis Texas, which is like a
half permaculture. I think they're slowly moving into just actual
rejuvenating native landscapes, but that permaculture thing is still really big,

(02:55):
you know, the anthropocentric lenses still really big here, and
so Control Texas, even among like plant people like there's
still a lot of it's you know, anyway, there's work
to do, but they also do a lot of cool
native landscape restoration. They took me out to this spot
where they had put a quarry up or not quorey up.

(03:16):
They where they were kind of rejuvenating restoring a spot
that was formerly a quarry and so the property owner
had had them out. The property owner bought this site.
It was heavily degraded, had been scraped clean, bulldozed, It
was a fucking quarry site, and so they were they
were restoring it with native plant species and they had

(03:39):
basically they got like a seed pack from Native American
Seed of Native Texas plants. They got a lot of
cool grasses too. Native American Seeds sells a bunch of stuff,
which again Native American Seed wants no affiliation with me.
I supposedly they like what I do, but they've got
people they work with that would not be happy with

(04:00):
the content of this podcast. And I understand that too.
You know. I'm I was worried when I moved to Texas.
I was gonna it was gonna be too hot. I
had to lay low, you know, because Texas can be
very repressed and keep your head down stake, you know,
as many of you who to live here might imagine.
It's got kind of a dark history here. But anyway,
but I've had a great tim here. I love it.

(04:22):
Only problem with Texas is full of Texans. That's an
old saying. I didn't I didn't make that up. But anyway,
Uh So they had me out to this site and
and just to they wanted to just film some stuff,
and so we did. They made this video and I'll
play it for you right now. I was going on
my rent, the rent I always am. You know, you

(04:42):
if if you're trying to restore land. You use the
plants that came with the land. They fucking evolved here.
It's like if you're if you're trying to put a
machine together, you're not gonna You're gonna use the pieces
that came with the fucking machine in the same box.
You're not gonna use ship from another machine that would
be shipped for braid. Nobody would do that, right, that's
completely idiotic. I mean right, no one would do that.

(05:04):
You'd use what fucking you get a fucking you buy
your kid a Lego set that's overpriced and you wish
you could have you know, would have fallen off a
truck somewhere or maybe you know, did the mafia ever
get into Legos? That's a really that's a market they
could corner. If you start knocking over Lego trucks selling
them at half price at the back door, that's a
fac Anyway, you get your kid a Lego set, you're

(05:26):
gonna use the pieces that came with the fucking life.
You're not gonna use the pieces that came from another
Lego set. That wouldn't make anything. That would be completely moronic,
only a fucking moron. No judgment right, Not everyone's born
with half a batch. You know, only a moron would
use pieces from another Lego set to build the Lego set.
You know, I got her, What did I get her?

(05:47):
I don't know. It was a fucking rip off. It
was for her birthday. It was like a Disney princess castle.
And she's not really the Disney princess type. She's more
I mean, she's my kid. She's like more like go
out in the yard and play with bugs type. I
mean yesterday she was I was watering something. She held
lot she's like five. She held the hose up between
her legs and was going, oh, like spring it everywhere,

(06:09):
like I don't know if she was I don't know
if she was trying to be obscene, but it was hilarious,
and uh yeah, I don't know, she's fucking hilarious. She's
wonderful kid. But you know, she was like doing a
thing that like Adam Sandler did with the mop and
one of those you know, one of like the twelve
movies he did twenty years ago. That's o kid, I'm

(06:31):
really aging myself anyway, But you wouldn't use different pieces. Well,
that's what my rant was about. It was about, you know,
use the stuff. I mean, the soil in Texas is
like harsh limestone. There's often no soil there. Look at
the roadside of like any of the the small highways,
not the big ones going out of leaving Austin, right,

(06:54):
it's there's no soil. It's white rock. It's white cretaceous limestone.
Why would you you know? And the stuff that grows
there that's all limestone endemics. That's the thing that blew
my mind is the people who this post upset and
it made far more people happy. I think got like
twelve thousand likes. You know, a bunch of people were like,
this is you're right this the native plants in Texas

(07:16):
are great. They're fucking awesome. But the people who would
upset didn't even understand that, Like what what a dapphic
endemism is that there are plants that are stuck on
this kind of soil, Like you're only you're only going
to encounter these plants in this soil. They don't necessarily
need it, but they can grow on it. They've evolved
tolerance to it because they've literally been selected for and
bred by this this climate, this geology, the whole set

(07:43):
of environmental circumstances over millions of years. That limestone has
been exposed on the service in Texas for millions of years,
so you know, it's had some time to work itself
out what plants are going to work, which ones aren't.
And so you'll find plants that you will never find
on igneous soils or metamorphic soils that grow on limestone.

(08:04):
And so that's like the typical cast of plants. Like
there's plant species where if I can't for whatever reason,
see the soil, but I know that species is growing there.
Or if I'm looking at herbarium sheets and I know
that that species was collected there, I know that's fucking
limestone soil. I can't see it. I'm just reading a
label on an arbarium. But if it's got STILINGI a
Texana on it, If it's got peyote on it, that's

(08:27):
a limestone based soil. That's a calcareous based soil. It's
got high calcium content. It's the remnants of old marine sediments.
This is not fucking rocket science. This is the thing.
This is the thing. And you see this. I've seen
this all go to Mojave desert. There's limestone endemics. Mojave
Desert's a mishmash of limestone and volcanic soil of different ages.

(08:49):
It's all just been it's a clusterfuck of geology because
of all the tectonic action over there. You got faults
running through all through the Mojave Desert, and so you've
got there's a place where you get five hundred million
and limes, five hundred million year old limestone. There's places
where you get twenty million year old volcanics. And guess what,
there's there's a ton of plant species you see on
the limestone you'll never see growing on the volcanics, like

(09:11):
funeral sage Salvia funerea. It's a fucking incredible plant. Whole
thing is white, it's covered in wool. I've rant that
about it enough before. There's i mean Moretnia. That's another
genus limestone endemic. You'll never find that growing on volcanic
But apparently no one knew this, at least not the
people that were that were really upset by this post.

(09:31):
So let's just just this, We'll stop. We'll just play
the post right now. For a state that's always talking
about how proud it is et cetera. Well, then why
do you plant all this non native garbage? Why are
you planting crape birtles? They evolved in, you know, more
music forests in Asia. Why would you plant those here?
Thank you? That's very sweets, sweet dog. But I understand

(09:53):
you know it's and I don't think it's again, it's
not like it's never malicious. It's just it's just ignorance. Okay, Well,
we're gonna tell you why this is cool, Like why
this is cool? This isn't weeds, this isn't brush. This
is stuff that evolved here, that is specialized here. Why
Because it's evolved here over hundreds of thousands of years,
Trying to plant crape myrtles or Kentucky bluegrass or whatever

(10:17):
garbage from somewhere else is an uphill battle. It doesn't
make any sense. Look at this, man, there's no this
is not soil. This is like porous calcareous rock. All right.
So not only is it like mechanically really hard to
grow in because there's no soil, it's chemically really hard
to grow into. It's it's you get calcium. Could use
a vault toilet proper. They really couldn't like, where's shirt

(10:40):
in the ground? Why because it gets one hundred degrees
here and it sometimes won't rain for at everything dies
because you're basically growing on concrete. But this thing has evolved,
this big tuberous root that goes a foot or two
into the ground. And you know, if it gets if
it goes through a drought, it says, all right, whatever
this close up shop, roll down the shutters and and

(11:01):
wait it out. And then it does that and then
it gets more rain. Then it sends these up again.
It's good to go. And also you know like this, this,
this gelfimia, this has specialist bees that pollinated. They're not
getting nectar, they're not getting they're not getting pollen, they're
getting oils. It produces oils in the flowers and the
bees collect oil and feeding to their young. This almost

(11:24):
none of the other plants do that. They're all producing
that are here, even the natives are. They're all producing.
But so so you get rid of this thing because
you know, someone who doesn't know how important it is,
just plot bulldozes the land and wants to put in
Kentucky bluegrass and crape myrtles, and only ad there well,
now you've not only wiped out this planet, they wiped
out the bee that depends on it, and maybe some

(11:45):
other cool insects that depend on that, some parasitoid wasps,
and and maybe some other birds that depend and so
on and so on. It just keeps going up, and
soon you've just created the equivalent of a dollar general,
you know, just this monotonous, homogenize, sterilized store, you know,
in your backyard. And it's all just because people don't

(12:05):
know how to appreciate this. I don't know, I don't
know how you could look at this and think it's
just weeds. But there's people out there that do that,
you know, Whereas I look at like crate myrtles and
most like stripmall landscaping, and I'm like, that's garbage like that.
If a bulldozer one over that, I wouldn't care. I'm
gonna get arrested one day. It's doing that. This is
because they're stealing a bulldoze all this stuff and going

(12:27):
over all the landscaping outside the bank, specifically the Edwards play,
maybe the bank too. All right, Sonny, well you've heard
that before. You've heard me ranted about that before, and
uh again, it was just and I'm only talking about
these kinds. I don't want to shut on these guys whatever,
I mean a little bit. They're kind of funny. It's
it's always like the people that had the biggest problem
with this were not surprisingly the same kinds of stodgy

(12:53):
old Caucasian motherfuckers that you know I would just god,
just fuck it. I can see, like, you know, being
introduced to them, it's some sort of fucking meet up
or or or faster conference and just being like, oh god,
fuck me, just you know, arrogant and fucking whatever. Anyway,
but they all turned out. One turned out to be

(13:15):
a fucking snake oil salesman who sells like chemicals for
weed bros. To help them improve the quiality of their thrill.
And the other was an older Caucasian man from South Africa.
Beware be fucking aware that alone right there. My daddy
ran Diamond Minds. Anyway, all Caucasian gentlemen from South Africa,

(13:39):
who who you know is this guy doesn't. I can't
do the South African accident, thank god. I'm not going
to try to punish you with it either, But you know,
claim that this guy doesn't know what he's talking about,
that soil just needs livestock. And then today someone sent
me a reel from this guy's page where he's taught.
He's he's in the fucking Mohave Desert and Berial County, California,

(14:02):
which is one of the hottest driest deserts in the
United States, looking at a fenced in area that says
area closed for rare plant restoration and it's just creoso
bush scrub and he's talking about how idiotic this is
and what they really need is live stock. But it's, man,
it's the fucking it's the Mojave Desert. It's one of

(14:24):
these like these the arrogance. It's fine to be ignorant,
but the arrogance, and again these are old Caucasian guys.
It's not fucking surprising that they're arrogant as fuck, but
the arrogance here is just what astounding. It's like, I
know those deserts, man, it's not it's barren right now,
like because it's a fucking that's everything. There is an

(14:45):
annual almost every every plant. So many plants there in
those basins on those plaias are you know, on those
alluvial fans. The Mojave Desert are annuals. They just are.
That's the strategy because of how intensely hot and dry
it is there the summer the driest season, unlike the
Sonora in Shihuahua Desert, where you get summer rain, and
so there's a soil seed bank that's waiting to come up.

(15:06):
I've seen the Mojave after like a good amount of
winter rain in the spring and it's lit up. It's
fucking intoxicating. It's one of the coolest things. All that
shit is dead except for the kreosote by summer, by
by May. It's all just you know, produces a ton
of seed. That's the annual Habit is dominant in the
Mojave Desert. And so he's looking at this, He's saying,

(15:28):
all we need to do is introduce cattle. What the
fuck are the cattle gonna eat? Sonny, Huh, what are
they gonna eat? It's the fucking Mojave Desert, all right.
Cattle ranching and a desert doesn't work. People have been
trying to do it for hundreds of years in North
America and it's been shipping the bed every time. You
end up having to bring shit in. It's the same thing, man,
like everyone's talking about. Like, I think people just missed

(15:49):
the point completely or they thought I was talking about agriculture. No,
we're not talking about agriculture, you know, and I'm not. Furthermore,
I'm not like a native plant absolute man. I just
if you're talking about restoring the landscape, you're talking about
like the little niche areas, the median strips, the power
line easements, the fucking edges of our miserable consumer parking

(16:10):
lots and consumer retail slums in North America, those should
have native plants on them. I'm not against anything non
native like. That was the other argument some people tried
to make was was, you know, uh so, what about
what about crop plots? They are not gonna eat native crops.
It's like, why, why why are you trying to make
this like it's a fucking church man. I'm not. This
isn't what that's about. This is just about practicality. You

(16:32):
use the pieces that came with the machine, that you
bought or that you inherited, or that you're borrowing in
the case of land, and you don't really own this land,
you're borrowing it. Used the shit that came with it,
that evolved in it. So I don't know. I don't
know what this dude's angle was talking about land, you know,
it's these these fucking holistic I don't know, man, I

(16:52):
don't know what it is these fucking dudes who are
I don't even know if I can describe this archetype
of person that again I don't want to sit on,
but I just don't want to be around like the
fucking permaculture bro that everything's got to be edible? Is
it edible? What's the use of this? Or like the
holistic like agriculture ranching guys, you know, and not all

(17:15):
of them. And that's the way. I totally agree with
that mindset, like model crop agricultures fucked. But I think
to understand how to farm, you need to have an
understanding of basic ecological science, not just the shit that
benefits people. All Right, that's my problem. The anthropocentric lens.
It's a myopic lens. It's all you're looking at you're
not looking at the whole system, and you're so you're

(17:37):
so focused on people that you're not realizing that having
the whole system functioning, whether those certain species benefit us
or not in the end that benefits us. You've got
an intact living machine. You're not just focusing on the
pieces that you know most obviously and conspicuously and directly
benefit us. You're focusing it. You want the whole machine
to be intact. You want biodiversity, you want to play

(18:00):
strips of native plants in between your agriculture. That kind
of shit. But I've met so many people in these
communities that are just so laser focused only on human
on human. Yeah, there was like a couple invasive species
deniers too, who just Jesus Christ Man, like, where to
fuck you even start with them? You know, there's no
lens for time, no lens for evolution in place, no

(18:22):
lens for ecology, no ability to zoom out. Everybody's everybody's
invasive somewhere, God fucking shut up. Or the humans are invasive. Well, no,
humans aren't really invasive. It's invasive as a strict definition,
according to the field of ecology is a science, it
doesn't really humans. Not to mention, humans have choice, so

(18:42):
you know, we're not just going on instinct alone. We
have choices we can make regarding how we treat land,
how we behave in an ecosystem, et cetera, Like there's
so much to mess with there to just there's so
much to get into it. It just takes away that shit
for brain what aboutism argument that humans are invasive. But
my point is I've met so many people in these
communities that are just fucking quacks man like and punishers too,

(19:06):
like the arrogance and the fucking lack of you know,
they consider themselves experts because they took a program, they
took a course, they fucking whatever. It was one of
the South African guys like, actually I have a degree,
and I forget what he said, but I was like, oh,
it's very cool. You went to school for this. That's great.

(19:26):
You know what is that tummy? And it just tells
me you were able to do like the modicum amount
of work available to pass and you had the money
to go. I don't give a fuck. That doesn't mean
shit to me. What are you doing now? But but
I was nice, I was like more or less, well,
I wasn't saying it was nice, but I was polite enough.
But the fucking I just shut down the minute someone's arrogant,
Like if they're asking questions, I'm totally down. I love

(19:50):
people who are genuinely excited. I love interacting with them online.
But the fucking arrogance, like yo, you started off saying
I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh and you
do so uh oh god, you know, I don't take
it personally. It's just it's so frustrating because this is
gonna be such a I feel like I've cleaned most
of these people out, you know, my followers, because I'm

(20:12):
always making fun of this shit. But uh, and I
could make fun of plenty of you know, shit about
myself and shit about other botanists too, all right, believe me,
I could. There's humility in all this. But uh, but
certainly I think with symbiosis because they're like I have
permaculture company, they still had a bunch of you know,

(20:33):
these fucking quacks following them, which is again it's it's
not the ignorance, it's just the arrogance, and like the refusal,
the refusal to try to understand, you know, like they
like thinking native plant people are just about purity or
that you know, we're all absolutists, Like how dare you
have any plant that's not native? Maybe there are people
like that, but fuck those people. They're cunts anyway, they'd

(20:54):
be cunts about something else, non gender specific cunt too, okay,
in case you're getting offended. You know what, Australia they
throw around the word cunt like it's nothing. It's I
love it, it's great. It's a great fucking word. I
call men cunts. I don't even call women cunts, but
but uh anyway, Yeah, so I just I see this
shit out there and I just want to shut down
and fucking run for the hills. I'm just like, God

(21:16):
damn it. And I've heard you know. And that's the
thing too, It's like you that you I've heard these
arguments before nine thousand times, and the people, the people
like this repeat them to me as if I've never
heard them before, as if they're their own thoughts. And
I just think when I hear this, like I listen, man,
I know this isn't your own thought. This thing called

(21:36):
the internet and social media exists, and I've seen this
nine thousand other places, and I know you're just parroting it.
You're not actually thinking for yourself. You're just repeating this
shit about you know, invasive species don't exist, or just
you know, holistic whatever. I don't the holistic you know,
cattle management thing was a little I mean what that means.
I think in most cases rotational grazing, which is just

(21:59):
common sense. You don't let cows graze the fuck out
only had you move them to another spot, just like
bison did, right, I mean, that's just common sense. You
don't want to burn out, you don't want to burn
out the land. It's you need time for the plants
to regrow, et cetera. It doesn't need a technical name.
What what is more mind blowing is that it's how
shit for brained is to just that that what has

(22:21):
been the origin for so long, it's been to just
let them over graze until the land dies, and then
you have to abandon that plot of land for much
longer than you otherwise would have had you moved them earlier.
So I'm not shitting in any of that, but I
just the idea, like this dude was in the Mohave
desert talking about cattle ranching there, What do you are
cattle grazing? What are you going to feed the cows? Buddy?

(22:44):
What are you gonna what are they gonna eat? There's
not for them to eat. They can't eatkreiso. What the
fuck are they gonna eat? Yeah, he's like this, this
land what it needs is manure. It needs manure on
the ground. Okay, well, how the fuck are you gonna
get that in? You got to import all that shit.
You have to import cattle, you have to feed them something.
You have to import alfalfa for them because they can't
eat anything here because it's barren and all the plant

(23:07):
life except for the creoso. It has an end. You
know what I'm going with this, It's just it's maddening, man,
God damn. But again I realize this is what gets
some people in the door of having a lens on
the living world around them. But my hope is just
that they drop all this silly, juvenile shit no offense
later on, or not drop it, but have it not

(23:28):
be the main focus of everything, and move on to
studying the actual living machine that's around them, this living
world that's evolved over millions of years, in which you know,
humanity is currently taking a part piece by piece or
huge junk by huge chunk in the form of land clearance,
so that we can you know, build more of our shit.

(23:50):
The thing with the you know, sodall is like a
big thing in Central Texas now, like sodall distilleries. Like
I fucking hate alcohol. I don't care about it at all.
But the people that are doing that, like I've been
trying to I had mentioned to them, trying to convince them, like, hey,
why don't you guys grow from seed? Dasilerian sodall is
really easy to grow from seed. It's it's a monocot,
It's related to a gave, et cetera. It's really easy

(24:13):
to grow from seed. I germinated a thousand seeds in
a flower pot. I got more than I know what
to do with. If you guys had an attic and
I'm just some you know, backyard schmuck grow If you
guys have you know, you could put some money into
a nursery, hire someone to grow a shit ton for you,
and then even sell them. I mean, it'd be good
pr I'm not a fucking business man. I'm a horrible marketer.
I'm horrible at charging prices for my own shit. Al's

(24:36):
been able to help me with that a little bit.
He's got more of that, like Chicago street hustler vibe.
You know, I'll be like, what should I charge for
this conference? And he's like, no charge more than that, man,
that's your fucking time is valuable. Okay. Uh, But you
know they'd be a good pr move like sell sell
sodall plants, like pump this shit, pump, hype the plant up.
It's a way to give back to the plant, right,

(24:59):
which is you know, because what you guys are doing
is just going out to ranch land and cutting it
and saying it's sustainable, which it may not be and
probably isn't. But and that's that's fine. You have to
you know, you got a business model or whatever it's
you're you're doing it, but give a little bit back, man,
you know, figure out a way to grow this stuff.
Get them into horticulture, sell them, sell individual sodoll plants online,

(25:21):
you know, as part of your fucking marketing scheme or
get you know whatever, man, or just better yet, take
over a piece of degraded property, find a couple of
acres of degraded property, and you know, lay down fucking
mulch and then plant sodall in it. You lay down
the mulch because the sun will just beat the shit
out of the ground, you know what I mean. There's
ways to get around this. Come on, man, anyway, Uh,

(25:45):
I had a really great Now we'll move on to
the podcast. I just had to get that off my chest.
I'm just so sick of like the fucking permaculture whatever.
If you're into that, that's fine, but I just, god, damn,
I just I want people who have a bigger lens,
who are focused on more than just the ship directly
affects people, you know. And again, I'm not sure there's
cool permaculture shit out there. I'm not believe me. I'm

(26:06):
not not attacking permaculture itself. It's just unfortunately there are
a lot of these kinds of people in these communities.
The anthropocentric lens, arrogant, don't know basic ecological or even
biological science, you know, don't understand how evolution or natural
selection works, don't understand how an environment selects and breeds plants.

(26:30):
All the plants that grow in the Edwards Plateau were
bred by the Edwards Plateau by that set of conditions.
There By, the limestone soil, the hottest ball summers, the
intermittent rain, the long occasional long droughts, the cool temperatures
in the winter. It's fucking dope. The more I learn
about the bodany there and the Edwards Plateau, that fucking

(26:51):
little hill, well big hill of limestone in central Texas
where you have the Chihuahua Desert, the dry is hell
Chihahwa does to the west, and the more humid music
environments to the east, and the Blackland Prairie to the northeast.
The more I learn about it and I realize how
cool it is and how many endemics there are. There's
so many plants that only grow on the fucking Edwards Plateau,

(27:14):
and there's so many plants that only grow and you know,
the prairies of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, west through Iowa, whatever, like,
there's every region has this. It has its own list
of endemics of plants that came with the fucking package
of pieces that came with the machine. Quit trying to
use shit that did not come with the machine. All right,

(27:35):
it's fucking shit for brained, Okay, all right? Did we
fix that? I think anyone listening is probably has heard
there's a million times, and I apologize, but I have
to keep saying it because some people are fucking moras.
No offense to them, No offense. No offense to that
South African guy who thinks that all you need to
restore rare annual plants in the Mojave Desert is to
have cows shitting all over the place and fucking what

(27:59):
are they gonna hear? Now you're gonna bring You're gonna
bring bread out for him. You're gonna bring some buckets
of corn. Look what the fuck you're gonna helicopter it
into the remote mountain canyons of Imperial County, California. Good luck,
good luck, buddy. All right, anyway, I was out in
uh had I had a wonderful fucking weekend. Man. I
just was out, took the dogs, went to finally see

(28:24):
their Mattophylum gypsu phylum, which was not growing on gypsum.
It was just growing on limestone. I guess it got
that species name because I think Powell A M. Powell,
A Michael Powell, who I consider a friend. I don't know.
I don't know if I've annoyed him yet with my
herbarium labels that are all over the place. But uh,

(28:47):
but anyway, the curator. It was discovered by the curator
of the herbarium at Sewel Ross University in West Texas.
It was the first population I think was discovered in
Mexico south of Oheinaga and grow on actual gypsum. And
then this one, which is a different subspecies, guadaaloup Heense
I think is a subspecies because it grows near Guadalupe

(29:07):
National Park, but in New Mexico, and it was fucking
remote out there. I finally got to see that plants
were two feet tall at most. We counted like twenty
or thirty plants maybe, but anyway, Yeah, so we finally
got to see this thing and it was everything I
thought it would be. It was so cool, just a

(29:29):
cutty spot, had minimal disturbance because there weren't many roads
in there, and the ones that were were like dirt,
like single lane, dusty dirt roads. Took an hour to
get out there, you know, beat up need high clearance,
you need fucking took an hour to get out there
after we left the pave road, and god, it was

(29:52):
just cool. Yeah. Moretonia scabrella was out there, which was
a species I didn't even know existed. I looked at
it and I said, this looks kind of like more
on you sperverance. But not quiet. The leaves look different.
It's got this white white margin around the leaves. If
you've never seen Mortonia, you should look it up after Morton.
But uh, you got Mortonia utai insis and the Mojave Desert,

(30:13):
Mortonia sperverance in West Texas, Mortonia scabrella here, and Moretonia
gregy i down by where I am. But at the
biggest populations of Mortonia gregory i are in the Sierra
Madre of Nuevo Leone, where it's fucking everywhere. It's grown
with a gave albo pealosa and there's big ass parrots
flying past these uplifted cliffs, these layers of sentimentary rock

(30:36):
that were laid down horizontally and then now are flipped
up nearly vertical. Fucking crazy habitat down there side a
month or eighth. Uh, But Mortonia scabrella was up there
and the leaves, like the leaves on that are like
hard plastic e correaceous kind of folded, and they have
this distinct shape to them, kind of like a like

(30:58):
a Abbo of eight shape, and they're they kind of
like snake scales, like they they're like so perfectly imbricate,
like roofing shingles or snake scales, and they just go
up at pressed almost that pressed up the stem and then
it's got these little five white pedal flowers Cellus tracy
Odd family. But uh so I saw that and then

(31:20):
there was But when I was hiking up this fucking plateau,
there were I mean I was seeing like it kind
of cactus horizontal lonies, which is a plant you see
and you know, we see it's like five or six
inches tall, and I was seeing like foot tall individuals here.
I was seeing glendula cactus on sinatus, really big ones.
You know, it's like that fish hook cactus from West Texas.

(31:42):
Got some seed of that red fruits that was really
fucking wonderful. There was just there was so much cool
shit out there. It was wild. So this this was
definitely one of those sites where you could tell it's
so remote and it's hard to get to and that
lack of human impact is that evident, and how good
everything looks like. It just looks unfucked with. There's been

(32:04):
cattle grazing. I did meet a cool pack of feral horses.
I mean they were they didn't belong, they were just
fucking out there man this because this was open range.
So they were if some if they didn't belong to somebody,
they either busted out or I don't know, maybe they
were abandoned, who knows. But they looked healthy and they
were they were enjoying eating the Techilia hispidissima, which was

(32:26):
dominant there. That's another one of those plants that tells you, okay,
this is a this is a limes. This is a
calcareous based soil, right, like so many of them. So
there's like we we kind of go through these gyps
some flats, these gyps some planes. A lot of gypsum
in New Mexico and West Texas. Wonderful. It's another one
of those daphic endemics. Like if there's plants that you

(32:49):
see that plant, you know it's gyps some soil there.
Nama carnosa is another great one. Gross just over the
border of New Mexico from Texas. Got New Mexico so wonderful.
Like the minute you step over that fucking state line,
it's like there's public land everywhere. People are a little nicer,
not as paranoid, not as suspicious. You know, I don't
mean to knock Texas I like Texas. It's a shithole

(33:12):
in its own way. Don't get me wrong. Fucking confusing state,
all about state pride, but just just lacks any perspective.
So many lack knowledge about the geology and plant life
of their own state. And you know, and then the
yeah they plant crape myrtles and all those horrendous shit
from you know, ten thousand miles away. But the man,

(33:33):
you gotta have spines. You gotta have spines to live
in Texas, you do. You gotta be a little spiny.
But the many you cross over that state line and
there's just public land everywhere, and you're like, holy shit, yeah,
blm land. This is what the West is nice for.
This is what is great about the West. This is
what Trump and all his cronies want to take away
so they can enrich their corporate friends, you know, on mining, gas,

(33:57):
Lias's lumber, whatever the fuck. But but the landscape already
in the lowlands, like in this valley before we got
to the mountains, where this dermatophylum Gypsum philum grew. The
gypsum mountain laurel another stupid common name. No doesn't grow
on the mountains, has no relation to Laurel. Like Dermatophylum
secunda florum is not a mountain plant. It's just just

(34:18):
a fucking legume with glabor sleeves. It's sometimes fuzzy that
that grows throughout Central Texas and Theawhichs Plateau. Anyway, this
is a relative that obviously spaciated for a much drier
environment based on calcareous rock. But these going through these
flats was incredible enough. I saw gay I think it

(34:38):
was Gayardia multi SEPs but it was a Gayardia that
And when I showed it to Powell at the herbaria
and he's like, oh, you were on gypsum, I'm like, yep,
it's like another one of those plants you see, like,
oh shit, that's what this is. That's what this grows on,
you know. And keep in mind to this same day,
this guy, this day was so good. Before that, we've
been on the red dunes east of El Paso, which

(35:01):
has its own I'll get into that later, because that
habitat is fucking wild and a ton of rare plants
and endemics that only grow on those red sand dunes
east of Ville Passo, el Paso County. Who knew huh uh.
You go past all these like, you know, fucking muffler
shops and tire tire shops and like junk yards and shit,

(35:23):
like kind of a rundown in dustry there, and then
it just opens up and there's like limestone on the
left and red sand dunes on the right, and a
ton of cool plants growing on the red sand dunes.
I don't know whose land it is because everything's fucking
private here, but you can just walk out there. You
can just fucking walk out there and go look at
you know, the bushmint grows out there, the El Paso Desert.

(35:45):
The sagebrush grows out there, so much cool shit pins
them in ambiguous moth pollinated pins them in with white
tubular flowers, tubular tarly. Probish city is out there with
those weird ass fruits. I'm gonna get a probish city,
a fruit tet. It was a little fucking horned. Uh.
They're so cool anyway, but it was it was this

(36:06):
gypsum habitat. Going back to the gypsum near the Guadalupees
was like God, it's just it's one of those landscapes
you go to and you're like, man, that's fucking place
was so special, Like I that time I spent there,
I'm gonna remember forever. I saw the one of the
dopest sunsets I've ever seen. After I hiked up this
fucking hill because where I where I the point I

(36:28):
had for the the metaphylum. You go there, there's one
plant and it's kind of you could tell it was
maybe a home site or like someone was set up
camping there. There's a big water tank, metal water tank
on its side, but there's one plant, and you're like, damn,
it looks haggard as fuck. It's not happy where it is.
It's in the like this low little valley. But there's
a kind of cactus horizontal lonius everywhere, and a kind

(36:50):
of cactus thing was days. I can't this. I'm not
sure you know those fine spine those little spined uh
where it's like a network of spines. The secon thing
as a shay cloth. All those are kind of serious,
kind of blending with me. I just they're beautiful, but
I just don't whatever anyway, And there's okatillo everywhere, and

(37:11):
so that I saw it on this point, like the
sun was setting, I was like, fuck, it's way up
on that mesa. I got a hike out a mile
and a half. Fuck it, I guess I'll do it,
you know, I'll I didn't even think to bring a
flash that I just using the life of my phone.
I just made sure my phone was charged. Hiked up
this fucking mesa. God, you gotta have good boots. It's

(37:33):
like cobbles everywhere, and boulders and that that rough limestone
that just tears the shit out of your your shoes,
your pants, whatever, you know. And I always make sure
I got good boots, steel toe boots. I don't fuck
around like hiking shoes and any good boots. When I
worked for the railroad, that's what we got, you know,
they would they used to split it half with us

(37:54):
now the railroad because of cost cutting and all the
other corporate America shit that has been going on where
they just need the horde more for the shareholders. They don't.
They don't get you to boots anymore. They'll give you
like one hundred dollars vouch your for him or something.
But those boots the last few years, you can get
them resold to like get a new sole in them.
But anyway, so I was hiking hiking up that, and
it's just man, it's exhausting. It's kind of it wasn't

(38:16):
too hot, perfect temperature, really windy, exceptionally dry, the moist
the air just pulls the moisture out of your skin
like nothing. And uh, you know, like a dry sponge
soaking up water on a fucking granite countertop for micah countertop.
Excuse me, We're not that rich, we're not that fancy.
So uh. And then you get up to the tight

(38:37):
you kind of hike up this man, go up this
sketchy fucking hill of like limestone cobbols, and then clamber
up the limestone and uh, and you're seeing all the
limestone endemic plants. It was barberous trifolio, a lot of that.
It was U. Leucophylum minus the tiny lucophylum with the
tiny siniso with the purple flowers. Beautiful plant. It's another

(39:01):
one that sadly no one grows in Texas. I don't
know why. Uh. And then you get up to the
top and you're like, god damn, you could see everywhere.
You could see way across the gypsum valley you were
just in and there's like fucking mountains way off in
the distance, and the sun is just fucking bruised and
bloody and looks beautiful in the sky it's going down.

(39:21):
And and then I hiked over and I saw this,
that's where I find that Mortonia scabrella. And then there
was I saw that the amount of phylum there, and
I was like, oh yeah, shit, that's amazing. And they
looked way healthier. They were green, and they have this
like downy hairs, this fine layer of downy hairs on
these pinnate leaves that give them this silver look. God,

(39:42):
it's such a cool plant. Man. It's same thing when
I I took an urbarium uh specimen. When I brought
it to the herbarium, Powell also was like, did you
get any seed? Like that was the first thing he asked,
because nobody is fucking growing this. It's so it's criminal,
it said in Endangered Plant, it's as hell would probably
do great in cultivation. A lot of these plants that

(40:04):
are so rare and endangered. It's like they'm afula tough
for a Luca the ashy dogweed from Sapata County. Think
this great in cultivation. San Antonio Boutannet garden has a
huge bed of them, Like forty plants. You can go
to a collect seat. I think they want you to
do that, but don't tell them I told you to
do anyway. Ah, you know, but it does great in cultivation.
I bet this thing would do great and cultivation too,

(40:26):
because it's out here struggling in a fucking brutal, extreme site.
You give it water in full sun, you know, it'll
just I'm sure it'll take off. You could probably you know,
what is a two foot tall shrub out there. You
could probably get to grow to six seven feet in cultivation,
but nobody's doing it. Flowers in February, flowers in March.

(40:47):
I didn't see fruit on any of these. I don't
know why. The thing to do would be to collect
cuttings and then bring those back, you know, if you're
assuming it's easy to rule, which it may not be,
and then grow those as stock plants, a couple different individuals,
a couple of different phenotypes, and then use those as
stock plants, because it may not even I don't know

(41:07):
if it's kind of flower. It was a little exceptionally
dry this year, the whole fucking regions drying out more.
But God, there was a there was a gave uh
perry eye up there to beautiful Blue, A gave bunch
of good ship, a bunch of good ship and uh
and coming down was a total pain in the ass,
kind of a knee killer. You gotta be you gotta

(41:27):
be careful because there's the again, it's just like cobbles.
Everywhere you could slip and break your ass. They move,
the ground shifts beneath you. But what a fucking special site.
Someone's got to go out there and get it. Supposedly
there's other places you could, you know, you can. I
think there's easier ways to get it. Maybe if you
look it up on a naturalist you know, the locations

(41:48):
are obscure, but I think there's a few that are
that are the directions were put in there or the
points maybe I don't know. But it's a special Uh,
it's a fucking special plant, really really fucking cool. And
I was stoked to finally see it. And so now
I have to go see the one that the different

(42:09):
subspecies in Chihuahua that gets like five or six feet
tall and does better, and it's probably more adapted to
like the gyps and flats like it grows at a
further south latitude, doesn't. I don't think it's in the mounds.
I think it's just like off the side of the
road the way Powell describe it. It's like right off
the highway in these fucking gyps and mounds, assuming they

(42:29):
haven't been destroyed yet. Mexico does not destroy land anywhere
near the pace that the United States States does. They
still do, but it's not as fast as as the
US does. The US and Texas especially has far more
disregard for land than Mexico. So the plants there are
probably healthier, maybe in better shape, though there is a

(42:50):
lot of poaching going on. God, that's the fucking greenhouse
at seel Ross just got like a shipment of twenty
Fukyria purpussii or it might be fisciculata that were poached
route to Japan. They were going to Japan, which all
these creepy collectors are, and they were like these, you know,
that's that one of those bottle okatillo's bottle shaped trunks.

(43:14):
Beautiful plants and I'm just hoping they can be kept alive,
you know, And the greenhouse customs has to like go
through the case and they just need someone to hold
them and hopefully they'll be given to a greenhouse or something,
because they'll die at szuel Ross. I mean it's the

(43:34):
greenhouse there can be kind of rough shape. Sometimes it's
infested with mites. It's it's uh, the people that work
there are underpaid. You know, it's not the best spot.
But also this is an easy plant to kill. It's
just very easy. And it's not again, it's not from deserts.
It's from sub it's from tropical dry forests, which is

(43:57):
not the Chihuahua the Northern Chihuahua Desert. You know, it's
much more arid in the northern Shihwahwah Desert. So hopefully
they can be kept alive and then given to maybe
Mobot or some conservatory that's got a dope fucking desert house,
or you know, and someone who knows what they're doing.
Sometimes you meet people that don't know what they're doing.
They work in these places, they got good intentions, they're

(44:19):
great people, they just don't know what the fuck they're doing.
And especially if they're from areas where they're not researchers,
they're not familiar with the habitat and they're from like
northern latitudes where and they've never had experience with these
kinds of habitats that these plants come from. They're not
gonna have to take care of these things. I mean,
I don't know how to take care of plants until
I know I see the habitat they grow in and

(44:40):
all the factors in it. You know, like you go
to the tropical dry forest during the dry season, you
think it's a desert. You go there during the summer
rainy season, You're like, oh, it's lush as fuck. This
is not a desert. This is lush. So you know,
and if you don't know, like so many people in
northern latitudes don't even know what that type of climate

(45:00):
is where it's winter dry and summer wet, and it's
because of the itcz the intertropical convergence zone and the
shifting low pressure zones that goes to either side of
the equator. Uh, depending on where Earth's orbit is. You know,
you're not good. You're not gonna not to take care
of it. It's totally understandable. But yeah, there's got those
post plants. We're fucking brutal to see. You look at

(45:23):
this thing that's probably took forty years to reach the
height of like a fucking you know, German shepherd and uh,
and then it just got ripped out by some sleeves
bag and now it's going to Japan to like be
grown in a fucking greenhouse and have like a million
pictures taken of it by someone who doesn't give a

(45:43):
fuck about the habitat at all. It's so sad. It's
so sad. Anyway, moving right along, Okay, I want to
give a shout out to uh to Vinny Silo from
Beautiful wall with Tosa, Wisconsin. Uh. He ordered some stickers
from me, and uh, he's got a wonderful name. Give

(46:05):
it right there, right there, he's put his you know,
for for nine stickers, you Midwestern Italian prick, is what
he said to me, which I that did. It warmed
in my heart. It was a wonderful thing to see.
It gave me a little chuckle, all right. He didn't
tell me to go fuck myself, which I would have appreciated.
The fuck Vinnie Huh, Vinnie Sioncholo. Every time I see

(46:28):
a name with all the vowels in it like that,
you know, Hispanic or Italian. I have to be honest.
I'm I feel good. I feel good. Let's talk about
Skysandra glebra, which I encountered growing. Somebody showed it to me,
very kind woman showed it to me and Josh the
hippie and beautiful Collier Heights, Atlanta. We're gonna we're going

(46:52):
from the Chihuahua Desert. We're gonna come back to the
Chiwawai does it right now? We're going to the fucking
more music woodlands. Average rainfall fifty inches to seventy inches
a year, fucked ton of rainfall. And she showed us
this plant, Skysandra glabro, which is in the more basal
grade of angiosperms. This is an early branching lineage. Okay,

(47:14):
we didn't see any flowers or fruits, but what we
saw was a dominant population of this fucking vine, this
rare vine, growing in degraded woodlands horribly invaded by English ivy.
I left the location open on eye naturalists in case
anybody wants to go out there and do some volunteer cleanup.
I'm gonna make a short video on this. Added to

(47:35):
the list of like twenty I got so much shit
to do. It's fucking driving me nuts, man, I can't
rest because it's typical near division. I got this neurodivergen shit.
I fucking hate that word, by the way, too, It's stupid.
It just means you get fucking nuts. Everyone's fucking nuts.
Doesn't mean you're neurodiversion. It just means you're fucking nuts.
Everybody's nuts. Anybody who's not nuts today is more nuts

(47:58):
than the people that are. How do you? How are
you not going losing your fucking mind with the way
things are today? Right, biosphere collapse, massive misinformation, people at
each other's throats online, a bunch of sad, isolated, angry
people who don't get outside enough, don't have any hobbies
or passions, just talking shit. How do you do? How
do you? How are you not nuts? Anyway, So, if

(48:21):
anyone wants to go out there, spray some round up
on English IVY, very specific targeted approaches to round up.
I love bringing that up because it always triggers the
fucking I'm thinking idiots and I'm not a round up booster.
That shit is poison. It's a milder poison than it's
made out to be. Just because a bunch of ambulance

(48:41):
chasers want a lawsuit three or four years ago. It
doesn't mean that it is, you know, akin to depleted uranium.
You don't want to drink the shit. But using small
spot applications on invasive weeds that are ruining ecosystems like
English ivy bermuda grass, buffalo grass, et cetera, is not
going to break the fucking ecological bank. It's not gonna

(49:03):
kill the soil food web. There's just so much bullshit.
And this is one of those things. You know, humans
are innately conformist. We don't really think. We just you know,
it's the way we vote. We just do what people
next to us to I'll do. I hate that. I
just know there's unthinking, right, intellect and critical thinking are low.
That's just the modern state, especially in the United States,
where people are you know, the economy causes uh, politicians

(49:27):
and business leaders to try to make people stupid by
defunding education. That kind of shit get to work so
uh anyway, you know, but when people just parrot things
that they heard, like round up is poison. The problem
with round up, I've said this a million times, is
that it's sprayed on crops which is fucking insane, all right.

(49:48):
It shouldn't be sprayed on car, you shouldn't eat it.
But using small spot applications to kill invasive plants in
your yard is not a problem, all right. It's not
that if you as long as you're not being an
idiot about it, as long as you're not being a
goddamn retide is fine. I think that's good, all right.
Some people are like, I'm gonna spray. I've seen comments
where it's like, oh, you can make your old vinegar
or a dish soap. Now you're literally poisoning the ground,

(50:09):
you fucking jag. You're literally poisoning the ground. You're gonna
put vinegar on that? Do you know what vinegar is?
It's an acid. I just this, This is like the
whole chemicals are bad thing now, realizing that chemical plants
produce chemicals it you know what I mean. I don't
need to go on this rant right now. Let's talk
about skyxandric Labra. Okay, wonderful plant, very cool plant, easy

(50:34):
to propagate. I have to go check on the plants
I got underneath the misters, and it's one hundred degree
fucking South Texas heat in a back. You know what
else I got to is a klai Xanthes of tusa Ah.
What a lovely member of nick Tajeneesi, the bougain Via
family to four o'clock family. I saw a uh a

(50:54):
groundcover of it. It's a moth like all the aklaisantes
except for one or two. It's a It's lepidopter and
pollinated namely by moths at night, blooms at night. Beautiful
fucking plant would work great as a groundcover. I'm gonna
try to get something James Peace, so we can produce
the fuck out of it. James Peace my partner at

(51:14):
the Native Plant Nursery. It's really his nursery, but I'm
just promoted. I'm just gonna say it's mine because that'll
help promote it. But I don't take any money from it.
I just give him seeds, he gives me plants, and
then he makes the money, which is the way it
should be. And hopefully because he got fucked by the
garden he used to work for. They want to grow
bogan VIA's and shit. Speaking of bougain vias, they want
to grow all the horticultural atrocities, the shit that's not

(51:36):
adapted to South Texas. He's in San Anton by the way,
that Charlie Pride song. So, uh, we're gonna we're growing
a whole bunch of rare shit. Zinnia Austro Texana, fucking
po Maria Ostro Texana, a bunch of cool, rare shit
that's losing habitat to the human tumor and also not

(51:56):
being grown in gardens like it should be. So hit
me up. We're selling it events right now. I think
he's opened by appointment only. If you want to order
some shit from him, you can email me. Eventually I'll
have contact info for him. But he's grown a lot
of great shit, and he's a good dude, and uh yeah, man,
he's a fucking great He's a solid fucking guy. He's

(52:18):
not some rich fuck either. He's not some rich kid.
He lives in a fucking trailer out in Sageen, Okay.
And he likes turtles. The man likes turtles. Is that
a fucking crime these stands? Could you still like tartoises
without being criminalized for it? What world are we living in?
Getting a little Alex Jones out here? Matt Berger keeps
sending me photos of Alex Jones with tits. I think

(52:41):
because he knows it makes me want to vomit. He
does it like every six months. I got a picture
of Alex Jones with tits, like his shirt off and
with tits, and I don't know what to make of it.
I know he's just doing it to troll me. Okay. Anyway,
sky'sander Lebra growing in beautiful Collier Heights neighborhood in Atlanta,
growing in a neighborhood. It's like a black working class neighborhood.

(53:05):
Uh cool neighborhood to fucking Atlanta's nice, man, Atlanta's fucking nice.
I like Atlanta. I don't like being forced to drive where,
but that's just the modern you know, state of the
American sunbuilt the lower latitude the United States. Atlanta's nice, though,
so me. Josh the hippie and uh our tour guide

(53:25):
for that day who was showing us this population she
discovered really cool lady. I can't fucking forget it. I
can't remember her name. I'm so sorry, God, I'm such
an asshole. Anyway, she took us out there and it
was it was toxicodendron and it was English ivy everywhere
growing in the understory of this forest that I guess
is owned by a megachurch. But it's just like a

(53:46):
neglected property. It just looks like the grated woods, like
something you'd see in the Midwest, like in Chicago, you know,
but instead of buck thorn, it's it's heterohelix everywhere English Ivy,
which is in the Gensang family of Raliac. And you
can see it when it when it flowers. God, there's
some cool raliacy in New Caledonia. Just see how fucking
out there I am today. I took my medge today too.

(54:08):
I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know
why I'm like this. I tried not to do this, okay,
but anyway, and so, but this sky Xandra can be
rooted very easily. It's a vine, it can it's kind
of like a scandent vine, like it gets a little
bit of a thick enough stock to grow and it
sound very glaborous leaves because it grows in this music environment.

(54:31):
But I would love to see someone restore this. You know,
it might even be worth contacting the church. I don't know,
you know, what are they like the Megod, you could
go in there and just pretend you're all about the
you know, Saint Paul at the Cross Church. You're all
about the Gees, the Jesus, the Jeebus and uh and

(54:51):
whatever you know and uh, you know, or reach out
to a neighbor and be like, hey man, we want
to there's a really cool plant here where where naturalists.
To make sure you don't say we're natives, because they're
gonna think there's a bunch of goofy you know, naked
fucking you know, nudist coming in there, because people confuse
it to sometimes naturalists natureists, and you know, I don't

(55:12):
want to see some guy out there, you know, with
seventy year old man, you know, with his dog just
swinging around like sometimes you see it hot springs in
the Vada. I've definitely seen that before. It was a
very happy, harmless man with a long beard, you know,
looked like a little short Santa Claus. But you know,
he had a massive hog on him. And I wasn't
prepared to see that. I just wanted to get in
the hot tub. I was there with my girlfriend, it's
like ten years ago. It was an uncomfortable situation because

(55:35):
I couldn't stop looking. I was just so impressed I said,
holy fuck, this guy's seventy. He's got a long that's
a fucking horse hog on there. You know she was
smacking me. She's says, stop talking about this man's wiener.
You're making him uncomfortable. I don't think he could hear
me though, anyway. Yeah, kind of like a I don't know,
like an eighteen fifties gold miner. Looked to him, you know,

(55:56):
he was old. That's what happens in Nevada when you're
out there. It's where Sheriff Woody is too. It's where
Mariella is too. Right now? Who also, Matriela looks like
a fucking cop, Megan, he looks like a hippie. I'm
tired to telling that. I said, you gotta cut your hair.
You get the cops are going to be all over
you right you go into town. They're like a flight
of shit. Okay, I'm sorry, we're going all over the

(56:18):
place here, sky Xandra Leabra. Let's see what is the
what uh? How to fuck up this taxonomy again? You
know a lot of these basil angiosperms, Austro, Bailey, alies
is the order families, skys and racy? What is the
range Where does this go down to? This goes down
to Florida. You got some in Alabama. You got some

(56:40):
in Mississippi. Oh you got to you got some in
Memphis too. Oh Kentucky. Fuck, I want to go to Kentucky.
So many places like one. I wish i could just
go on a road trip. You know, I'm gonna do
that with my Kevin. Take her out of school next year.
We're gonna go on on like a spring Bodany road trip.

(57:00):
What the hell? You know what she did? Yesterday? We
were attractor supply. I was getting I was getting corn
for the pigs because we have to. We got to
kill all the feral pigs at the Thorn Scrub, And
I was going to get corn attractor supply. This little turd.
Love her to death, but what is this. She's tried
sneaking one of these stuff damage. She got like nine
stuffed animals. She tried sneaking one on to the cart,

(57:24):
and she put it in front of the stack of
corn that I had to get, Like she knew what
she was doing. It was very intentional, It was very calculated.
It was very intentional. I felt I'm not sure how
I felt about it, but it got wrung up with
all the other and I said, this is I said,
sixty bucks? What the shit? I didn't I didn't been
not buying sixty bucks with the corn. What is this from?

(57:46):
And then I looked and there was like a little
plush cow. And I looked at her and I said,
did you do this? And she said no? And I
said how did it get in there? Then she very
clearly did that. She was very I felt very uh,
you know, she's trying to take my money. Okay, anyway, okay,

(58:07):
But the point is Skyxandra is somewhat somewhat rare, and
this is a Southeast species. Supposed lea, there's a population
in a near Williamston, williamstun uh, North Carolina. I can't
tell this is on Ininet though, so I don't know.
You're better off going to bonap or something b o

(58:27):
nap dot com you want to find a ranger. This
goes in the Florida Panhandle, west to Memphis, north to
Kentucky and east to uh, North Carolina. That might be
bullshit though. Anyway. It's a restricted plant and it's an
Austro bailey elies, which is I think is that right
beneath it's it's is that right beneath the uh let's

(58:48):
look at the angiosperm phylogeny here. Yeah, it's like the
third down the list, right after Nymphiales, which is after
Amberelli Alies, which is the godfather of all flowering plants, Amberrella.
So this is a this is a more basal order.
Three families in Austro Bailey alies Sky's andresi namesake of
Skysandra trimeniac and Austro bailey Ace which uh, austro Balia.

(59:14):
Oh God, I gotta see this. I've never seen this.
I always confuse that with one species austro Baialia scan thens.
Where does this? Where does this? Ocur? I gotta get this?
Have I not covered this yet? This is so important
for the botany textbooks. This is down there in uh
in Australia. God damn it, this is uh. This isn't

(59:38):
North Queensland. I didn't know there was only one species
in austro Baiala ace. No shit, basal angiosperms. You gotta
get in there. God, look at those mountains. There's like
these coastal mountains in northeast Queenland's Queensland that looks fucking great.
Who's out there? Who's that in northeast Queensland? Give me
out there. You got a floor I can sleep on

(59:59):
and go look at some plants. I get the van.
I need a dog too. We'll find a dog. We'll
find a dog. We'll find someone who wants to go
out there too, you know, one of your damn all
caes or something. We'll go out there. We'll fuck around
in Queensland for a week. Ooh, tri Menia looks interesting too.
That's another weird one. One observation on I naturalist Trimnia

(01:00:20):
neo Caledonica. One observation of this species. There's like six
species in the genus. Got the flowers on it just
look archaic as fuck. Oh my god, Oh that's so
cool Jesus. You could see these just these ancestral forms.
Whereas it that's in like northern New Caledonia. Oh my god,

(01:00:43):
I gotta go back there. You know, New Caledonia was cool,
but it was expensive as hell, and it's French. I
don't really like the French. I'm kind of prejudiced against
not all French hashtag not all French. But I'm not
talking about kebe Quai. They're cool. I'm talking about like
French French. You know, I just had a bad experience
with a French publisher. Right, I don't know, I don't

(01:01:05):
know what I'm talking about. I've never been there, right,
typical American. I'm just being you know, racist, prejudiced against
the French, with no prior experience on my just based
on my small, my small depth of experience. Right, Okay, anyway,
fifty nine observations total of the genus tremedia. That's it

(01:01:27):
all over the world, only fifty nine abs of you.
I gotta see that one too. I really like the
basil Angelo Sperms. Apocarpus usually don't have fused carpals, which
you can see in the fruit dry miss winter eye.
That's a basal angeo sperm that does the same thing.
Look at that. Get that? Where's that plant gateway? You
know what I'm gonna I think they took the plant gateway.

(01:01:48):
The angiosperm poster done. I'm gonna put it in the
the details of this podcast. If I forget to do it,
leave a comment remind me. I probably will forget. I
can't believe they took plant gatewaight down. Who did this? They?
I guess they're updating. You don't got to take it down,
your asshole. Yeah, it's down, it's down. You know what

(01:02:09):
I'm gonna put that. I got a drive file with
this fucking pdf, this thirty megai megaby pdf attached. I'm gonna,
I'm gonna I'll put it in the captions of the podcast.
Anyway to point this look up where that that skysandra
I observed on I natrilist this. Go over there. Take
it cutting sustainably. If you could find enough of it,
there should be a ship tone. There was a ton

(01:02:30):
when I was there. Okay, all you need is like
it like a little bit of stem node. Okay, when
you take it over. When you take it, put it
in a ziplock bag. Bring a ziplock bag with you.
Keep the humidity up, keep it out of the sun.
Go stick it in some wet soil. You could keep
the bag on there. If it's not humid. You just
just try to keep that humidity up. Because I think
doesn't have roots yet. It's got to reshoot out roots

(01:02:52):
from dormant root pudds on a vine, which it can
do if you baby it this credit. This is a
critical step. These two weeks, baby this shit out it,
keep it in shade, keep it moist, maybe keep the
bag on for a day or two. Though I realized
you don't really need to do that, depending on how
the humidity is. If you're in you know, if you're
in a dry climate, well you're not going to be dry.
You're in fucking Atlanta anyway. And then just get it

(01:03:15):
rooted and then everything does phenomenally better when you put
it in the ground. Don't torture it in the fucking pot.
As soon as it's got roots and you can tell,
you know, give it like little tungue on. It doesn't
come out as you stick that shit in the ground
in a shady spot, this plant like shade, and uh
in your garden and get it going. I hate to
say this, I hate that. I hate that. Conserving plants is,

(01:03:37):
you know, the best hope for many of these things,
especially where I am in Texas, wherever all the land
is private and tech nobody gives a fuck. The best
option is getting these things in a garden and sharing
this shit among a community of people which hopefully grows.
Who cares about this stuff, who realizes that it's the
antidote to the puke that you encounter in modern civilization

(01:03:59):
and the antid to the make believe human world, which
is all bullshit and it's bad for you. With that,
let's listen to a clip of George Curlin talking about
doing acid and realized that he was full of shit
and didn't want what he had prior to thought that
he wanted.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
The hardest years of my life for the three or
four years when I was doing straight mainstream book television shows,
because I thought I wanted to be like a Danny
Kay or someone. My dream from a kid was still
like that. I wanted to be in the movies and.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
Go like this for people. And I didn't know that
my right like this. I didn't know my head was different.
I didn't understand that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
I thought if I thought about it at nine years
of age, it must still be valid when I'm twenty one.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
But it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
And and I finally boom that clicked in from the acid,
Thank god for I asked they that's why they put
it on that list of a bad drugs.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Because they know it opens up the mind, the heart.
What he's saying, you can't see this when he's saying
when I wanted to be like this, when I wanted
to be like Danny Kay and go like this for people.
He's patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the
same thing. He's talking about fluff. He's talking about most
mainstream television programming, you know, just the little show, show

(01:05:07):
tunes show, you know, totally safe, right, government music, corporate music,
nothing nothing too controversial in there, you know, kind of
like a lot of content that still gets produced. Right
if it's not full of crazy bullshit misinformation like people
denying and invasion biology, then it's a fluffy shit, you know,
It's like feel good fluffy shit. Okay, coming coming back

(01:05:31):
around to Texas. Okay, we're leaving Atlanta now they're setting
is Texas. We're in the red sand dunes east of Vilpasso.
Because Texas is fucked and everything is privately owned. Keep
in mind, this beautiful plant community I'm about to describe
to you could be destroyed at any minute if the owner,
which is some LLC. I'm looking at onyx hunt right now.

(01:05:55):
To thank you whoever who signed me up for this.
Someone gave me a free onyx account couple of years ago.
Very kind, very very kind for them. Oh what is this?
This was like a foreign investor said, dotka abdul Karim,
where is this? It lives in El Paso or some
I don't know what they're gonna do with that. You're
going to turn it into a fucking off road park.

(01:06:18):
And then over to the left of it, it's all
divided up into small lots, probably to get turned into
condos at some point. But it's all fucking sand. Oh god,
this state, man, I tell you it really is. You know,
I ain't here for the culture. I'll tell you that,
no offense. It's just the plants and geology are so incredible. Anyway,

(01:06:41):
The red sand dunes east of El Paso are fucking phenomenal.
Let me see what what is the geologic formation that
this is? Because you get you know, like any just
like limestone, just like serpentine, just like lateritic soils, just
like gypsum. You get your own cast of endemic speed
that is, species that only grow on sand dunes, a

(01:07:03):
daphic endemism. Nice. Okay, well this is obnoxious. You can't
search by GPS coordinates on the Rocked app, but you
can search by mountain meadows, colonial estates. Fucking they must
just be using a Google Maps interface or some but
you can't search by that's a bummer. Okay. So right
in there here is the Jaco Limestone. But what is

(01:07:26):
this sand? Bolson deposits, lack of strine and fluviatile deposits
of clay, silt, sand and gypsum and bolsons. It's just
saying alluvium dune, sand sheet deposits, Holocene stabilized sand deposits,
Van Horn, El Paso sheet, lithology, major sand, incidental silt. Okay,

(01:07:48):
that doesn't tell me anything about where this red sand
weathered from or what formation it is, but evidently it's
just weathered from red sandstone, which is probably very old.
How's the Jaco Limestone two hundred and ninety eight million
years so permian permian permian age. Anyway, this was a

(01:08:10):
fucking incredible spot, and if you live in El Pesso,
it's definitely someplace you should go check out because there's
a whole shit done of cool plants over there. The
most coolest that I was most taken with is something
James Peace has been growing for a year or two,
poliomintha in Cana and he gave me like two or
three of these, and I was like, all right, what

(01:08:30):
do I do with these? Are cool? But you know
when you see it in a one gallon pot, and yeah,
it looks cool. It's got these tiny little mint flowers,
and it's the leaves are linear and white, typical desert plant,
you know, covered in hairs, reduced surface area. But I've
planted it in the ground and it was happy. He's
a pig, and shit, it didn't flinch. It was loving

(01:08:52):
the heat. That's I got one in South Texas. I
got one in West Texas. It doesn't seem to be
bothered by the humidity of South Texas. But seeing it
in habitat, it's like anything seeing in habitat is way
way cooler. It's a whole different experience. And when I
saw it as the dominant plant here on these sand

(01:09:14):
dunes east of Vilpasso, I gave it the common name
a Passo bushman, because that's essentially what it is. Some
of these colonies were fucking six feet tall by eight
feet wide. I didn't realize that the shrub could get
that big. And he'll be selling this to We got
to get these fucking plants out there. You want to
buy some plants. Support James Peace and support them to

(01:09:35):
keep growing more of these. But he uh, yeah, it's
a fucking great plant. I mean, I'm sure would do
great in fucking Tucson, southern Arizona, probably southern California, if
it's not too near the coast. Might be fine near
the coast too, which is that seems to really thrive
like a pig and shit in the heat and the sun.
But I got some in West Texas. I got I

(01:09:58):
planted some in West Texas. I planted some down here.
Like I said, it's doing fucking great. We got some
at the unauthorized garden we just started. It's it's like
semi authorized down here in the Rio Grande Valley where
we have a scleepist prostrata to the prostrate, milkweed visariat amnaphilus,
a pot of bladder pod, bunch of good shit. We

(01:10:19):
just got a truckload. I was just over there shoveling
mulch today and not shoveling, but I use like a big,
you know bin, like you know, probably weighs thirty pounds full.
It's a nice workout, wonderful morning workup, you know, before
the sun really starts to cook your ass. And I
moved like twenty loads of this stuff, just carrying it
in this you know, thirty gallon container and just just

(01:10:41):
so what is it? Yeah, twenty times thirty six hundred
gallons worth of mulch I moved today. But these dunes
have so many fucking cool plant I couldn't believe how
many cool plants that were on it. Pence them in ambiguous,
which is a white flowered, moth pollinated pins them in
long floral tube with a narrow opening, way too small
for beata crawl in there, and I'm sure it smells good.

(01:11:02):
Didn't smell good now, but a lot of these desert
plants that are moth pollinated don't start emanating scent until night.
I was at thorn scrub, I was at our conservation
property yesterday. I saw a fucking massive moth was bigger
than a hummingbird. But I digress. We'll talk about that later.
Pence them in ambiguous, it's a bush. Pens them in

(01:11:23):
am Sonia er in area. That was a cool one too.
Am Sonia has those like these pinkish, white funnel formed
moth pollinated flowers. All this shit is moth pollinated. I
would love to come out to these dunes that again
are privately owned and could be destroyed at any time.
We were technically trespassing, but the owner doesn't give a shit.
They didn't fence it. I mean, what are you gonna
do out there. It's owned by a company. It's not

(01:11:45):
like it's an individual. It was an individual probably, you know,
be some nut job coming out there threatening you, you know,
calling the sheriff or whatever. But it's owned by some
company that's probably gonna destroy it at some point. Texas
is just going to destroy. Texas gonna destroy all of
its natural heritage at some point. There's no value on
any of this. It's just weed. It's just brush. It's

(01:12:07):
fucking mind boggling, like anything that's not in a conservation
heasement or or you know, public well, Texas doesn't have
any public land. State land can get destroyed at any moment. Anything.
If the landowner that owns these dunes decides he wants
to fucking waste a bunch of money to hire a

(01:12:29):
bunch of mouth breeders to come in there with skids
theers and rearrange the dunes to make a fucking mini
golf course or some OHV area. He could do it
it's private land. Is nothing anybody could do about it
if they were federally endangered plants. Here, there's nothing anybody
can do about it. It's so unbelievably fucked here, and

(01:12:50):
I'm sure it's like this in many other places in
the world. So you're just relying on the goodwill of landowners,
which they might have. But then when they die and
their kids want to fucking sell it and make a
quick buck so they can, you know, buy a sports
car or a you know, Tachi house. It's going to
cost six thousand dollars a month to air condition. They
can do it, right, They just piss it away and

(01:13:12):
squander it, and then they're broke again in ten years
because they bought a bunch of stupid shit with it,
and now they've got to come up with some other
Ponzi scheme to make money. Wonderful culture we have here anyway.
So poliominta in Cana, fucking dope bush mint big is
held grows on these sand du these red sand dunes
am Sonia erinaria. And that thing looked like a that's

(01:13:33):
a really easy plant to walk by and not give
a shit about, because it does it looks like it's
some sort of composite like Goody or Reazi, Like maybe
it's some some brushy asta seed. It's just got linear leaves,
nothing really notable about it. But when you see it
in flower then you're like, goddamn, this thing is amazing.
And also it's everywhere in this habitat and it's going
for moth pollination. I would love to spend a night

(01:13:55):
out there looking at what maw that's come by and
hit these things. There's got to be you know, is
it one or two species? Is it a diversity of
moth pollinators? What's the most predominant moth polinators? It highly's lineata?
Is it the you know, the sphinx moth? What is it? Oh?
Dieteria asteroid? He is? Somebody identified this. I don't know

(01:14:16):
what the fuck this thing was. So thankfully somebody, uh,
somebody got this. It's hard because there wasn't any flowers
on it. Now let's go. I think the AI just
got that. That's nice. Oh, we're having a slow cursor
the windows slow cursor of death. What a pain in

(01:14:37):
the ass? Got windows? Is a virus? Ugh? Microflift. Another
really cool plant was a Epizifium. How to fuck do
you pronounce it episipium with an x epizifium, wizly Zenia,
which is a snapdragon vine Mirandia. I don't know if

(01:14:57):
you can get mirandias in California, probably in the desert.
I don't think they're two widespread. First time I saw mirandia,
even though I lived in California for twenty years, was
in Arizona, was in the Sonoran desert. But Morandi is
a cool vine, purple bilatterally symmetrical snap dragon like flowers.
This thing with his lizenii is a dounandemic. I think
James was growing some. But the garden center he had

(01:15:21):
worked at such a tragic story. His friend, wonderful woman
ran the garden center. She passed away. It got inherited.
They threw out a whole bunch of his shit, really
wonderful native plants so that they could grow boogain vas
and all this other fucking garbage that you know, basically
is what the suburbs looks like. And anyway, but he

(01:15:42):
had this there and they threw it out. But it's
the leaves on this fucking thing. The flowers look really cool,
of course, but the leaves on this thing are fucking
my I saw it. When I first saw it, I
thought it was like convolvuoles. But then I said, these
leaves kind of look like a mirandi or something, but
they're way bigger, and they're covered in this iridescent fuzzs,
like these tricombes that give it this shimmery ass look

(01:16:05):
to the leaves with these really cool white veins. It's
like a chalky mint color with these really cool white veins,
and it's just popping out of the fucking you know.
Ninety five degree hot sand Actually wasn't too hot. The
sand was probably one hundred degrees or more, but when
I was there, there was a nice breeze. Wasn't too hot.

(01:16:25):
Epic Epizifium, epicsiphium, epic sifium, epizifium that extually fucks me up.
I'm not used to seeing it. Epizifium whizle zenia. What
an amazing plant. Get this into cultivation for fock's sake.
The leaves are just incredible. Any of these heat tolerant plants. See,
this is the thing that bugs me about the fucking

(01:16:48):
this permaculture. Shit, no offense. I'm going off on a
right here again. We're gonna green the desert. We're gonna
green the desert. You're gonna green the desert. All these
fucking turds that talk about greening desert. No offense to
any of them, Actually, no one or two. They're not
bad people. They're just totally fucking lost. They never talk
about greening the desert with native plants, with the plants
that are literally built for this fucking climate. Right. These

(01:17:11):
things have hairs on their leaves, they've got strategies that
they've evolved over millions of years to deal with these climates.
And you're trying to plant non native garbage or shit
that's from another part of the continent that gets much
higher rainfall. I just like the simple understanding of how
air sucks moisture out of leaves depending on the humidity.

(01:17:34):
All plants love humidity. They all do they no matter
what you might have heard. They all love humidity. Cacti
love humidity when they're young. The problem with desert plants
and humidity is that, because they have these adaptations, when
you raise the humidity, you know you're trying to grow
something from an arid climate in a more humid climate.

(01:17:56):
The problem is, you know, they would love that humidity.
But the problem is is the adaptations they have that
enable them to grow in aridity also make them prone
to fungus. Right, that reduced airflow across the leaf because
of the leaf hair's succulents whatever, you know, roots that
rapidly suck up moisture from the ground like a dry sponge.

(01:18:19):
And then once they've sucked up all they could suck up,
now they're just sitting in wet soil because the humidity
prevents the soil from draining as fast. You know, that
kind of thing. And it's the same thing with humid
plants moved to dry areas. Even if you can put
them on drip irrigation constant, they can't transpire or they're
transpiring moisture rather too quickly because their stomata in their

(01:18:43):
leaves are way too numerous or too large, and their
leaf size is too large, and the leaves just end
up being stressed, just perpetually stressed, even though there's enough
water for them. They're constantly transparted. I saw that with
American chestnuts in California, you know, and a very arid
region of California. They got very hot, dry summers and

(01:19:06):
So the plant survived because it got water, but it
grew incredibly slowly a tent as fast as it did
in its native habitat, and the leaves were very reduced. Right,
because a humid plant, a humid adapted plant is going
to produce, it's going to compensate for that that the
arid climate. It's now growing a by producing shorter leaves,

(01:19:28):
all triggered by hormones and stress responses whatever anyway, So
just the moral is just it's just pragmatic to just
use what's fucking came with the land again. Again, I
can't can't, I can't stop throwing this out there because
people just don't get it. There's so many factors. You
have to think about nighttime temperatures as well. Right, how

(01:19:51):
does humidity affect nighttime temperatures. Nighttime temperatures don't drop as
much in humid regions compared to arid ones, right, or
at higher elevations because the air is thinner. Nighttime temperatures
drop a lot more at higher elevations than they would otherwise.
Because the air is thinner, it's not as dense, it
doesn't hold on to heat as well, So it plays
like the paramo in Costa Rica, summer, every day, winter,

(01:20:11):
every night. Right, you're in the tropics, Why is it
getting so cold because you're so high up and the
air cannot hold Right, It's like the same reason fucking space,
like its drastic temperature swings, Like the surface of a
comet can go once it's in the sun fucking heats up.
Then when it is you know, the turning whatever. Maybe

(01:20:34):
this is about. You know, I'm really outside of my
league here talking about space. Okay, I'm not a fucking
I'm not an astronomer. I'm just saying, right, there's a
vacuum there, there's no air to hold up, so you
get drastic temperature swings when the same thing when the
air is less dense, right, which it is at higher elevations.
So even though you're in the tropics and you're still
at eleven thousand feet, it'll be eighty degrees during the

(01:20:56):
day and then it'll cool down to thirty five or
forty at night because that air is just so much
less dense. And because of that less density at higher elevations,
there's also less air to break up the UV rays,
so UV intensity is either all these factors. You know,
there's a lot of shit that people just aren't thinking about. Man,
a lot of stuff, you know. Okay, moving right along.

(01:21:16):
We're still in the red sand dunes east of El Paso. Oh,
Punthia tortoise spina, which was kind of growing laterally. It's
a prickly pair of whatever. It looks like a mean one, right,
it's growing on the sand. It's fucking some of these temperatures.
Opuntias especially can tolerate very I think they're one of
the most heat tolerant plants. I think it was an

(01:21:37):
opuntia that was clocked to tolerating temperatures of one hundred
and thirty degrees fahrenheit or more without cell death, which
is incredible. This wild maybe even higher than that. What
else was out there? Probacitia, Althia, folia probacity. Of course
lamey ales used to be grouped in the Sesame family.
But I think the Sesame family, what was it pidali ace.

(01:22:02):
I think that is primarily an old world family. Now, uh,
what what family is probacity in? This is this is
new text on This is some new shit. Martini ac Marty,
like Martyn Ace, you know anybody named Marty. I knew
a guy named Marty. He lived on the southwest side

(01:22:24):
of Chicago off of uh uh oh. Fuck. I can't
believe I forgot the name of the street. He lived
off Archer. He was a polock. He lived off Archer.
Nice guy, Martini Acei, but they used to be in
Pindale Ac I believe anyway. Provacity, of course, has those
really cool fruits. Almost I think I want to get

(01:22:44):
that too, of a Proba city of fruit, because there's
such cool, such an iconic desert species too that it's
got these like hooks, and it's the whole theory is
that it was, you know, the dispersal agent for these
fruits was ground sloths or some sort of other megafun
And it goes right around like a human leg perfectly
doesn't hurt, but it definitely does look like it's meant

(01:23:06):
to attach to something, and that's its dispersal mechanism. And
it's just a fucking great plant. The flowers look cool.
They're big, bilatterally symmetrical order lamy alies. Of course, then
there was russ microfilt. I saw these shrubs dot on
the fucking sides of the dunes and they were dominant,
and I said, that's pretty cool, noting noting that that's

(01:23:28):
a unique, probably an important plant here. They're dominant, it's
a big. One of the largest plants here was a
woody shrub probably you know. Some of these were twelve
feet wide by by eight feet tall. I said, I
gotta go look at that, and it was russ microphilet.
It was little leaf sumac, which is weedy in West Texas,
very common comes up in alpine Marfa uh fucking forestock

(01:23:52):
then right spread by birds got those little uh sumac fruits,
those little sumac berries which are actually droops, I believe,
because they've only got a single seed in them, not
the many seeds. So I was in love with these
dunes once I was there and I realized, Wow, there's
a lot of cool shit grown here that's not common
in other places. I was hooked. And we saw the

(01:24:16):
same red sand. I encountered the same red sand in
New Mexico a few days later. A couple of days later,
when I was looking for Pomaria James the eye, which
is a rare little uh spreading say sell pinioid legume
saycell pinioid, meaning it's got a say sell pinia like

(01:24:38):
flower like Senna or any of those, like really cool
bilatterally symmetrical, unique flower structure, and it was covered in
these glands, these little sticky red glands. I love all
that shit. I love all the sayceel pinioids. I think
it's a not as new, nowhere near as numerous in species,
nowhere near as species rich as Faboidi the subfamily, or

(01:25:00):
especially Mimo soidy the Mimosa and Acacia subfamily. So uh Anyway,
what else am I missing anything from these fucking dunes?
Because that was that was such a wonderful Oh yeah,
Dalia lenata, that was a cool one. There was a
Dahlia lenada I encountered, but it was I think it
was terminalyis. It was a different subspecies. It wasn't lenada

(01:25:25):
normally means wool covered. This was not woolf covered. This
was very glabrous. But it was a cool, little kind
of semi sticky Dahlia smelled good. Uh speaking of peace,
that was just sprawled out on these dunes. God, the
fucking dunes were so cool. Lorandersonia pulchella, which is uh

(01:25:46):
uh used to it used to be chrysol faminists. I
don't know another cool rabbit brush common name. So anyway
head and east of El Paso, it's thought that a
cool little diner, cool little roadside diner. They're off Highway
sixty two in Cornudis. Beautiful cornudis where there's a little

(01:26:06):
forest of yucca alatta just west of this spot. And
then I stopped to lurk, and so there's coyote melon
going off. It was a wonderful fucking time for plants.
I had to stop and look at all this shit
on the side of the road while these massive trucks,
you know, filled with the truckers in their giant one
gallon bottles of urine are blazoned by me at eighty
miles per hour, probably cursing me, saying what the fuck

(01:26:27):
is this guy doing? Right? What is he doing? What's
the world come to? This guy's parked on the side
of the road staring at the ground. So anyway, but
Cornutis we ever go through Cornudas. It's a nice little
diner there. It's real nice. They got a little shop.
I bought like a blanket for like fifteen bucks. Beautiful blanket.

(01:26:48):
You know. They got some knives and shit in there,
like artisanal knives. Nice stuff, little hats. They got a hat?
I forget, what the fuck? I don't think they had.
I didn't buy a hat. I don't think they had
a hat. Maybe it didn't, never had, I don't know.
It seems like a place they would have a bunch
of little fucking headware and a nice bandana or something.
It's a cute little shop, and they've got some heart
attack food in there that probably tastes really good. Core neudis,

(01:27:10):
beautiful core nudis. You know, you're in oil field territory,
but you're not near the oil fields, so you don't
have to deal with all the syphilism, methamphetamine and shit alcoholism,
and you're only the best thing about this area is
you're only fifteen miles from the New Mexico state line.
And hoo doesn't love New Mexico. That's really where a
heart is. Beautiful New Mexico. Right, you cross that state

(01:27:34):
border as public land, people are nicer, not as many
paranoid dipshits, you know, ready to yell at you. People
can be polite in Texas, but they're not nice. You
go to New Mexico. They're actually nice over there. Right.
The geriatrics in New Mexico are always They're a lot
happier too, which is good. It's good for them, it's
good for me. When I ca to interact with them.
I couldn't help when I was noticing coucurbative feted diysm

(01:27:57):
of the coyote melon, which is a really common place.
This thing sprawled out. It's the native cucurbet desert cucurbit.
Love to see the root on these things. I think
they're perennial, uh, And they just form these massive, fucking,
you know, twenty foot long vines sprawled out on the
ground in some cases. But I guess they've got a specialist.
Beetle atka Liema trivitatum. Let me see this thing? Is this?

(01:28:19):
Is it? It was in the flower and it probably
pollinates the flower. But I'm sure it's eating pollen. Two
you'd have to look up. It's a cute little fucking beetle.
I'll give it that. So you know, coyote, coyote melon
cucurbative feeded. This, which is a very widespread plant you
get in California too, is primarily be pollinated. The flowers
are huge. The melons look like they look like little

(01:28:43):
round melons. They're fun to throw out your friends, but
they don't taste good. They're very bitter. They have to be.
They live in the desert. If they, you know, the
do coyotes. I think coyotes do eat them. I think
coyotes do disperse the seeds. I think the main dispersers
were by some probably because these these fucking fruits taste terrible.
But if you're a large animal, it's not going to

(01:29:04):
bother you too much. And also a large animal is
going to be I think more unlikely to actually destroy
all of the seeds when chewing. So anyway, but these
things don't open without the fruits that these like a
little bit bigger than a baseball, don't open without being
cracked open. They can all that's another way. They can
also dry out and the sun sit there for a

(01:29:25):
while and then they just end up just the seed
coat dicinegrade, so they become hard like a gourd, you know.
But it was probably bison, probably mammoths, deer, coyotes I
guess eat buffalo gourds. Khukur would feeded disma as well,
but the main polinator of bees and these but these
little beetles probably have to be doing some pollination too.

(01:29:47):
They're most the beetles are mostly eating pollen. Beetles are
not attracted to nectar in most plants as so far
as they know. They're mostly eating pollen or they're going
for some sort of starch, but they're probably doing some
incidental pollination. There was that beetle Acmeodera opunti that I
documented inside peyote flowers at Santa Margarita Ranch before it

(01:30:08):
all got destroyed for the border wall and then by
the owner's shit for brain no offense, uh idea to
just bulldoze strips in his land and then seed it
with buffalo grass, invasive buffalo grass the grays cattle in
the desert. So it's anyway, my whole time in Texas,
I feel like it's gonna be me watching everything here

(01:30:29):
get destroyed, right like it's been doing for years, but
now it's really ramped up with the population boom that's
arrived here in developers, and it's just the conditions are right,
everything's private. No, not a lot of people know about
the native plants here. Fuck, the botanists don't often even
use you know, Latin nomenclature for the plants just common names.

(01:30:52):
So there's there's the plants don't have a high spot
and much of Texas culture right now. And of course
everything's private, so anything get destroyed at any time by
private landowners. So I feel like by the time I'm
finally ready to move, assuming I eventually make it out
of here, I don't know where I go, hopefully out
of the country, somewhere, I will have just watched so

(01:31:14):
many places. I've already watched so many places get destroyed.
Oh look, you go there. I'm gonna go check on
this planet. Oh, it's not there anymore. The whole fucking
habitat's not there anymore. Oh wow, happened to a spot
in Pleasanton, Texas, just south of San Antonio. It was
a grove of prunesce Taxana. Happened to Santa Margarita, happened.
It happens so much. It's such a common thing, just

(01:31:36):
destruction and then sowing invasive garbage intentionally, or building suburbs
even though there's no water. Yeah, look what they did
to Austin. Holy shit, the area around Austin is just
fucking absurd. You tuck that beautiful Edwards Plateau and you
turned it into a car slum suburb that's gonna make
it like living there is gonna be bad for your

(01:31:56):
health because you can't walk anywhere. There's nowhere to go.
There's no bike paths, there's no fucking sidewalks on half
the blocks. You know, like a fucking bike path would
be I'd love to be able to take even though
it's one hundred degrees, take a bike path from here,
like a safe way where you can know you're not
going to get mowed down by some fatty and a
Yukon or a fucking lifted truck, no offense to them.

(01:32:20):
You know, you're not going to get mowed down by
some young kid who's like speeding in a sports car
or whatever. You could just bike from here all the
way to Brownsville on a shaded bike path, shaded by
like ebonies, maybe some corcous fusiformists, some cool beautiful misgats.
You know, like, shit could be so different if people tried,
But nobody's trying because they want the shiny stuff. So

(01:32:44):
let's you know, maybe you try to enlighten the culture.
I don't know, Austin probably has bike paths, right, probably
a lot. You know, you get used to the heat.
You're fine. You just gotta make sure you don't drop,
monitor your heart rate or something. Anyway. So buffalo, Yeah,
the buffalo. Gorg's the coyote melon, same thing. Kukerber defeated

(01:33:07):
this sima. But I didn't realize that megafaunal connection earlier,
because yeah, that's probably what it was. I think I
came across a paper is there a is there? What
does the science say? Is it enough? Is it like
Osa George, like mcluropumme and itp for it Like there's
a link between megafauna now extinct megafauna and seed dispersal

(01:33:29):
in this plant. Probably another cool plant I saw in
this habit. I want to give a shout out to
dimorpho karpa whiz like ZENII. I don't know what the
common name is. Don't ask me. I don't pay attention
to that kind of thing. It's just a wooly ass mustard.
It'll always be a wooly ass mustard to me able
to grow, able to thrive in hot as balls conditions,
very windy. The wind here alone, like the heat is bad,

(01:33:51):
but you mix that wind with it, that West Texas wind,
and it's amazing. Anything can grow out here at all.
That wind dry shit out so quick. It's just I mean,
you've got really really dry air that could just suck
moisture out of leafs domata. And then you've got the
wind two like forcefully moving this dry air past a leaf.
Holy shit. Yeah, you gotta have hair, hairs or wax

(01:34:15):
pal so dimorpho carpo whiz Lyzenia, not to be confused
with Neriisyrenia camporum, another cool wooly desert mustard. But they've
got much different fruit shape, right, dimorpho carpa dimorpho carpo,
apparently referring to the carpals dimrpho. I only see one.
There are two different kinds of two different shapes, two

(01:34:37):
different morphologies of carpals here. I only see one. Looks
like a little ass. It's kind of funny, looks like
it does. It literally looks like a butt, like a
two dimensional butt, like a flattened butt. Four white petal
brassicacious flowers. You know, a morphology to the sepals and
the petals, and then of course you got six stamens
in there. Snapomorphis that has shared traits of the mustard

(01:34:59):
family to brass Casey also saw dimorpho karpa. What was it,
lenniers A dimorpho karpa canda cans. That thing was fucking cool.
Look and the leaves on that little sawtooth margin to
the leaf and they're all pointing directly up like a
oppressed to the stem. That was at the sand dunes
in New Mexico, east of Carl's Bed. A lot of

(01:35:21):
cool shit east the Carl's bed. Carl's Bed is an
interesting town. You could see the economy took a shit there.
I went to a taco shop. It was very expensive
for what it was, but I was happy to support
it because there's not a lot of business in Carl's Bed.
It's kind of rough in Carl's Bed. But these flood
the flowers on Dimorpho karpa when you really look up close.

(01:35:42):
I took a picture with the one hundred and five
millimeters macro lens, and the fucking filaments are pink. The
anthers are yell. Anthers of mustards have a really unique
look to them too, kind of like this curved banana
shape right. The thiki each lobe of the anther. Each
anther on any plant has two thicky THCA singular have

(01:36:06):
this like bent They've got a really unique shape, really
fun to draw. Then the stigma is like this pink
fuzzy thing in the center, but six stamens. And then
those cupped sepals all fucking mustards look like that. Look
at like kale flowers. Next time you'll see those kind
of like cupped sepals. And then what flower? What color?
What flow? What flower? What's the flower color on kale?

(01:36:26):
Like a yellow? Unrelated, but I got I guess there's
a long lost population of lofafra of peyote in Dryden,
which is in Terrell County, which is far outside of
the listed range that's listed in most books of PETI
and I got access to I know exactly where it is,
which is cool. It's on private land twenty miles off

(01:36:48):
the main road, but it represents like an intermediate population
between South and West Texas, and that would be a
population worth collecting a little tissue sample from getting DNA sequencing,
which would be amazing to do. I guess it's still
technically illegal, but hopefully somebody does it. I love to

(01:37:12):
find a way to reach out to the landowner and
see because that would be cool. To map, like the
genetic difference is I hope gets some fucking research student
do this. You know, what are you guys going to
college for someone's doing it? Is there still anyone listening
to this podcast that I haven't offended or turned off?
Who's is in academia? Like young people in academia? Because
it was the young people in academia that were problem

(01:37:33):
with older people were cool. I thought they were going
to be squares. They were actually pretty cool. Was the
younger people that maybe had a problem with me? I
don't know. They took out all those student loans that
I don't have. Maybe earn better about that anyway, A
lot of cool There's a lot of cool people in
academia though, But someone should study that and you could
make a whole paper out of it out of because

(01:37:55):
it is such a wild spot this area of the country,
going from South Texas to West Texas, it is literally
on the transition zone from humidity to aridity and the
habitat changes. You could see it on a fucking satellite
map for christ Sex. You could see the change from
green to beije. Anywhere at any latitude along that hundredth meridian,

(01:38:16):
you can see the change, and so, you know, like
the so many plants Payota, like so many plants that
share a distribution between West and South Texas, grows completely
differently in a completely different habitat in West Texas than
it does in South. Right, whether it's Jetrophi, Diaheka or
sydney Attenua Folia or Lucophylum, you got Lucophylum minus. Different

(01:38:39):
species out there in the drier areas of West Texas,
but you know, not as hot, lower nighttime temps, cooler winters,
and much more arid. So anyway, but this Terrell County
population represents a really interesting I would love to just
check out the habitat there, and Terry I think was

(01:39:01):
the only person to go. He went out there in
twenty ten. And supposedly there's another long lost population of
Peyote la Fafa near lang Tree, which if you ever
passed through lang Tree, please visit the Judge Roy Beam Museum.
It's a wonderful, wonderful place to hide out from the
one hundred and five degree heat, and they've got some
brochures and stuff in here. You know, I think it's

(01:39:23):
privately funded, so it's not going to be shut down
by our corrupt government. You know it's gonna be a
You have a nice time out there. They got a
Texas pistache in a courtyard there, Texas pistachio, which of
course got flooded, the only one of the only populations
got flooded during the building of a reservoir on a
Pecos River. I believe all right that, So I'm gonna

(01:39:45):
cut it off there. That's been an hour forty minutes.
Hopefully you got something out of that. I'll do another
podcaster soon. I've been I've been traveling a lot. I'm
gonna be traveling again. I don't I don't find time
to do these. I don't get enough time to do
these when I'm on the road, though I should. I need,
like anybody got a recommendation on like a easy podcasting setup,
portable podcasting setup that doesn't sound like shit. I used

(01:40:06):
to just record these talking straight into the mic on
the phone, and that wasn't that bad, you know, But
I guess I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be such a
princess about recording quote. It don't matter as long as
you can hear me and it's audible, and there's not
like a toilet flushing in a background or a bad event.
It's not that bad anyway, I know. Let me know
what you think, right, I just fucking sent me an
email or something. Okay, we could do it. You want

(01:40:27):
to get ask me life advice too. I'll get for
what it's worth. It's not worth much, but I'll give
you what I got. You know, I'll give you some
advice you wants. You want advice, Okay. If you want
to order stickers, they're twenty bucks now. This is a
new inflation pricing. But I threw an extra one in there,
two of which are color. Those color stickers cost a lot.
All the designs are by me except by the except

(01:40:48):
the crime page logo, which was done by the lovely
Ken Davis, who just moved to Albuquerque. Shout out to
Ken Davis over there in Albuquerque. He's a new Mexico
resident in the land of Enchantment. Already have a lovely
rescued day. Go fuck yourself, body. I'm walking down the

(01:41:15):
street like Lucky the roof, got my hand in my
pocket thinking by you. I ain't hurting nobody. I ain't
a hurt no one. There's three hundred men in the

(01:41:36):
state of Tennessee. They're waiting to die. They won't never
be free. I ain't hurting nobody. I ain't a hurting
no wine six million, seven hundred thousand and thirty.

Speaker 3 (01:41:57):
Three lights solid.

Speaker 1 (01:42:03):
You think someone could take the time that you sit
down and listen to the words of my song. At
the beach in Indiana, I was nine years old, heard
little Richard singing Tute Corudie from the top of a telephone. Poak,
I was nobody. I wasn't hurting no one. There's roosters

(01:42:33):
laying chickens, and chickens laying eggs, farm machinery eating people's
arms and legs. I ate hurt nobody hurt no one.
Perfectly crafted popular hit songs, never used the wrong rhyme.

(01:43:02):
You'd think that waitress could get.

Speaker 3 (01:43:04):
My water ride a first gym.

Speaker 1 (01:43:31):
She's sitting on the back steps, just shucking that corn
bad gas and grins and us

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