300. When You Feel Underestimated (with Mary Marantz)

Welcome to the 300th episode of The Crystal Paine Show! Joining me this week is Mary Marantz, author of several books including her newest, Underestimated: The Surprisingly Simple Shift to Quit Playing Small, Name the Fear, and Move Forward Anyway. This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply personal one, and in Underestimated, Mary explores how to stop playing small and move past the fear that holds us back, a message that resonated so much with me as I read the book.

We talk about how Mary's childhood in a rundown trailer in rural West Virginia shaped her journey, including how she overcame immense insecurity and the fear of failure, only to find herself still grappling with feelings of inadequacy after achieving what seemed like the pinnacle of success. You’ll hear about her struggles with perfectionism, how she used it as a way to prove herself, and how she’s learning to let go of that.

Mary’s openness about her own fears, especially about being unlovable after succeeding, is a reminder how easy it is to let fear's voice be so loud that it cripples us from taking action. And then we miss out on so many gifts and blessings and the fulfillment and strength that comes from not letting fear win.

This episode of the show is a beautiful reminder to let go of the armor that we often wear and start showing up authentically, trusting that our worth isn’t defined by how small we started or how much we have accomplished. Listen in for an empowering conversation about stepping into who we are meant to be, even when it feels scary, and be sure to grab a copy of Mary's new book!

In This Episode

[0:35] - I felt deeply connected to Mary's introduction to her new book.

[1:56] - Mary believes that being overlooked fosters empathy, shaping us into people who truly see others.

[5:45] - Mary grew up in poverty and still wrestles with defining herself beyond the underdog narrative.

[8:27] - Purpose outweighs proving others wrong.

[9:59] - Fearing failure, Mary nearly skipped applying to Yale until a friend intervened and believed in her.

[12:06] - Trying to mask insecurity with achievements.

[15:02] - Mary used perfectionism as an armor, trying to prove her worth after her mother's abandonment.

[18:35] - In striving to need no one, Mary ended up becoming isolated and heartbroken by her walls.

[20:40] - Fear of failure can come from the pressure to always be the one who comes through.

[23:07] - Mary asserts that those who lack true passion aren't afraid, but creatives fear whether their work will matter.

[25:13] - Naming fear’s predictable patterns weakens its power!

[28:03] - I explain how facing fear in tough situations builds courage, preparing us for challenges in the future.

[30:24] - As is scientifically supported, the brain predicts outcomes based on past experiences, but doing difficult things can reshape this.

[33:17] - I express admiration for Mary’s gift for words in her book.

[36:08] - Mary explains the five achiever types and invites listeners to take her free quiz online!

[39:28] - I applaud Mary’s perseverance and encourage others to read her work!

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

Mary Marantz

AchieverQuiz.com

NametheFear.com

Mary Marantz on Instagram (@marymarantz)

Books

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