September 5, 2025 • 50 mins
Hey lady! We don’t know about you but right now we are deep in a season of designing our lives with care and intention, which is why it’s only right that we welcome Dominique B. Fluker, nationally recognized multimedia journalist, lifestyle expert and editor, content marketer, moderator, and interior design storyteller based in Los Angeles. She stops by Cultivating H.E.R. Space to offer gems on how to create a style authentic to you and based on the beautiful life story you have to share.
Dominique built a career centered around powerful storytelling. Whether its deep diving through the archives of Essence magazine to chronicle how Black women discuss sex or offering a tender retrospective for the 20th anniversary of the devastation Hurricane Katrina left in her wake; Dominique has dedicated her life to perfecting her craft telling the stories of our community. Now, she’s translating her storytelling with her interior design firm DBF Interiors. She uses her keen eye for detail and weaving together the unsuspecting elements that lie beneath the surface of her clients to provide a bold statement of who they are.
Tune in for Dominque’s powerful testimony of how she let her journey with both grief and impressive achievement allow her to be open to the splendor life has to offer each one of us if we let it. Dominique also offers her version of what the continuous work of holistic healing looks like for her and how she’s using all of the tools available to her to be her whole self.
Tap in!
Quote of the Day:
"I'm committed to uplifting Black women through words and exploration of difficult but necessary topics."
– Dominique B. Fluker
Goal Map Like a Pro Workbook
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary
Where to find Dominique B. Fluker:
Website: Dominique B. Fluker
Website: DBF Interiors
Instagram: @dominiquebfluker
Instagram: @dbf_interiors
LinkedIn: Dominique B. Fluker
LinkedIn: DBF Interiors
Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC
Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram:
Dominique built a career centered around powerful storytelling. Whether its deep diving through the archives of Essence magazine to chronicle how Black women discuss sex or offering a tender retrospective for the 20th anniversary of the devastation Hurricane Katrina left in her wake; Dominique has dedicated her life to perfecting her craft telling the stories of our community. Now, she’s translating her storytelling with her interior design firm DBF Interiors. She uses her keen eye for detail and weaving together the unsuspecting elements that lie beneath the surface of her clients to provide a bold statement of who they are.
Tune in for Dominque’s powerful testimony of how she let her journey with both grief and impressive achievement allow her to be open to the splendor life has to offer each one of us if we let it. Dominique also offers her version of what the continuous work of holistic healing looks like for her and how she’s using all of the tools available to her to be her whole self.
Tap in!
Quote of the Day:
"I'm committed to uplifting Black women through words and exploration of difficult but necessary topics."
– Dominique B. Fluker
Goal Map Like a Pro Workbook
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary
Where to find Dominique B. Fluker:
Website: Dominique B. Fluker
Website: DBF Interiors
Instagram: @dominiquebfluker
Instagram: @dbf_interiors
LinkedIn: Dominique B. Fluker
LinkedIn: DBF Interiors
Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC
Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
It's not pushing past the pay it's sitting and receiving
and knowing and trusting and having faith that they're right
here with you.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Hey lady, have you ever felt like the world just
doesn't get you? Well, we do.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting
and empowering women like you.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from
fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black
women to just be.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow
button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady,
we are black founded and black owned, and your support
will help us reach even more women like you.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,
this is for you. Hey, lady, is Tea here and
I just want to invite you to my free goal
map like a pro coaching workshop, where I'll share the
five proven steps to get unstuck and achieve your goals.
Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all your ideas, juggling scattered ideas,
(01:31):
or maybe you just need confidence to start, this workshop
will give you the clarity, tools and the motivation to
take back control. Reserve your spot for free by visiting
her spacepodcast dot com and clicking on the goal map
like a pro webinar link.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Lady, don't miss this.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Chance to build a roadmap that fits your life and
set you up for success. I hope to see you there, lady. Today,
we have a special guest that we are so excited for. Okay,
there's so much that we can say. I'm going to
try to stay focused and just read her bio and
then we're just gonna jump on in.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Okay. Dominique B.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Flucker is a multifaceted creative who brings substance to storytelling.
She's a nationally recognized multimedia journalist, content creator, moderator, interior
designed storyteller. Previously, Dominique served as contributing lifestyle editor Essence Magazine,
editorial manager at LinkedIn, SMB marketing manager at Instagram, editorial
(02:30):
content marketing manager at Glassdoor, and content Marketing manager for
Business Accounts and SMB Growth and at TikTok. The resume
is resume at Okay y'all. She has created purpose driven
and multicultural content for iconic web and print publications including Forbes, Women,
Glamour Magazine, Essence Magazine, Business Insider, Women's Health Variety, and more.
(02:59):
As a culture and entertainment enthusiast, she has interviewed legendary
celebrities including Oprah Okay, Oprah y'all, Tony Braxton, John Legend,
Tracy Ellis, Ross Sheryl Lee, Ralph Robin Roberts, and Serena Williams,
among others. There is so much more that we could
(03:19):
say about Dominique. Her bio and resume is just it's incredible.
But we're gonna let you hear more about her and
her words. So Dominique, welcome to cultivating her space.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Or Hi everyone, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
I really appreciate you welcoming me and I'm happy to
be here.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
You're so welcome.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yes, we are definitely looking forward to this conversation, and
so we're gonna move into our quote of the day
and Dominique, this quote will sound familiar to you because
these are your words. Oh, I'm committed to uplifting Black
women through words and an exploration of difficults but necessary topics. Yeah,
(04:06):
I'm gonna say that one more time for the folks
in the back. I'm committed to uplifting Black women through
words and exploration of difficult but necessary topics.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Mean, okay, I anique.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
When you when you hear this quoll, when you hear
your words reflected back to you, what comes up for you?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Just the severity of that commitment. That is a pledge
and to black women, and I have sworn by it,
and I've tried my very hardest to honor that pledge.
And I think with black women especially, we really need
content that resonates with us, and we also need a
(04:59):
safe space to tell our stories. And that has been
at the core of my work across many different industries,
but specifically at Essence, where I've covered the gamut of
health and wellness, lifestyle, love and relationships, sex, column, you
name it, and also have done empathy led and based
(05:23):
interviews with the celebrities that we're mentioned and more. And
I think through line is the empathy, listening, and compassion
for Black women and our nuanced.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Stories it's so beautifully stated. Thank you so much for that, Dominique.
And we have so many other questions that we want
to ask you, but we want to start. I guess
you could say at the beginning, so could you tell
us what is your origin story? How did you become
the Dominique b Flucker that we see today?
Speaker 5 (05:52):
Thank you so much, Such an honor to see that question.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I find that I'm a learner at my core, and
I always want to continue to evolve, and I really
have just gone with what I've been passionate about over
the years and especially with my career, and it's always
led me to storytelling. But more specifically, I think I've
(06:17):
come to this point of deeper aspiration, rooted in intention
on how I'd like to continue my own legacy when
it comes to storytelling, whether that's editorial, television or any
other platform. And I think what's got me here is
(06:38):
belief in myself, a lot of different type of sacrifices
and grit, and also grace for my big dreams. I
think sometimes we tend to dream and we're like, no,
we can't get that to we can't.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Do it, and you know we're manifesting.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
We're fasting, we're praying, but I think the component is
another needed component is actually believing that you can execute
and do the work, and also building community that can
help you achieve those dreams. I've learned over the years
from graduating from Sarah Lawrence College by undergrad schools that
(07:18):
you know, it might sound cliche, but no dream is
out of reach, and I think it's all about positioning
and really having that confidence to go for it. I
feel like I've gotten a dose of reality, you know,
in my personal life, and I'm sure we'll talk about
it more that life is short. Life is extremely short,
(07:41):
so I kind of use that trauma and pain.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
To just really disco for it.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
And I surprised myself sometimes I'm like, oh, my goodness, But.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
I think that's good.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I think you should always be striving for more and
not like an arrogance sense, not for cloud, not for anything,
but just for yourself and your community.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
I think once.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You kind of get that understanding that you no, no
dream is too big, that can inspire others to just
go for their purpose. And it's not about chasing money.
It's about chasing your purpose always.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Oh I love that it's not about money it's about
chasing your purpose always.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
And so, as I was listening to you share your
origin story, it made me think about So, your Instagram
is a beautiful timeline to your work but also your
personal life. And one of the posts that you shared
(08:45):
was a photo of you and Susan Taylor from years
ago and I don't remember. I don't remember the exact year,
but in the caption you talk about your dad took
that photo.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Oh gosh, I wish he was still here. Yeah, my
dad took that photo of Susan L. Taylor and I
in twenty eleven. At So, my dad was a photojournalist
at the Oaken Tribune and I used to go with
him on assignments all the time, and I was tagging along.
I believe I was home for a winter break from
Sarah Lawrence College. And he's like, my dad was super animated.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
That's where I get it from. He's like, move out,
like you know, pushing people. I was like, oh my god,
that's embears.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
You know, move off the way. My daughter has to
get a picture with Susan L.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Taylor.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
She's gonna work for her one day, She's gonna work
for the magazine and I'm just like, you know, I
always thought my parents, both of them are deceased, and
we can talk about that a little later.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
I had these outlandish dreams for me.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
You know.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
Another funny stories that my mom.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
She would say, you know what, Tommy, when you get famous,
need to drop slugger. It just should be Dominique Brielle.
I'm like, oh my god, Ma, what is going on here?
But I do I do give them all the credit
for that type of confidence, but also making sure that
I'm grounded, and they just wanted me to soar no
(10:18):
matter what the profession was. But I think my dad
had so much respect for Susan L. Taylor and essence
and the legacy that is that publication more like an
institution at this point of fifty five years in County
and it's you know, it's been one of the honors
of my life to be associated with the publication for
(10:40):
many years before I transitioned into being an editor three
years ago.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Oh, we can't wait to get no more stories about
your parents. That is such a fun story. Thank you
for I can visualize this so thank you so much
for sharing that, Dominique. Now, Dominique, we have again a
lot of other questions for you, but we want to
shift up the energy a little bit. Yes, and because
we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and we
believe that it's okay to be bougie, classy and ratchet. Right,
(11:07):
you can still be elegant, all three of them are.
You can still be elegant and dance to strip club
music if you so choose. We want to invite you
to the oh you blatchet segment? Do you take on
the challenge?
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Excited? Challenge me up?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Girls? All right?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
All right, So now that you've agreed, you and we're
going to tell you what to expect. Okay, So we
have three questions for you. Okay, we have three sentence completions,
and then we have three photos pulled up of you. You
see me looking up. I'm looking at the photos. We
have three photos pulled up of you that will share
with you on the big screen. But we want you
to choose a number out of one and three and
then we'll share one of those photos with you, and
(11:43):
we want you to take a look.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
At the photo, describe it.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
For folks that are not watching us in the interview,
they're only listening to the audio and then give us
some context about the photo that we wouldn't know just
by looking at it.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
So and I have many spread photos.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
It's oh, yeah, we can't wait, we can't wait, So
I'm paying for one.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I think, yeah, we wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Go number one.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Okay, so we're gonna we're already ready with the pictures.
So we're gonna show you the picture after we asked
the questions and do the sentence completions. But it's already cute. Up,
it's ready to go. And it's a cute one too.
So we're gonna ease into the segment. And the first
question is what's the best piece of wisdom or advice
you've ever received, Like thinking about all the verticals and
industries you've been in, the advice your parents gave you, Like,
(12:28):
what's the one piece where you're like, this is the one?
Speaker 5 (12:34):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I'm gonna go with my mother's advice. I mean she
was a straight shooter and.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
She would just.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Say to me, be honest, don't lie, be on And
I think that has guided me. And you know she
used to say that to me when I was younger, Tommy,
don't fit be honest, tell me the truth, and I
think that has spend my through line with all the
different industries. You know, I produce honest work, I tell
(13:07):
it like it is, and I curate honest and truthful
interview questions and conversations ones that we need to talk
about in our black community.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
So I think it's always be truthful.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Good one, thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Yes, I love that. Okay, Now that was that was
so profound. This next question is not profound at all.
We're switching gears, okay, and so this next question, uh huh.
When you hear your favorite song, come on, are you
(13:50):
gonna twork?
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Or two steps?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm twerking, all right, we're here for.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Work.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Okay, Like I'm not all over, but I'm you know,
I'm turking.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yes, we love it, we love it, hey, Dominic. The
next question for you is what's the sexiest item you own?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, the sexiest item my own is lingerie. Yes, a
girl needs her lingerie items and a very.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Grown woman needs her. Yeah, it's just black. It's just black.
But I also find.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Like robes and kimonos really sexy too, So that one
from Japan that's all silk, and it's just so wonderful
to put on or check off. So go ahead, that's right,
come on.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Okay, and so now for our sentence completion. One question
or topic I wish people asked me about more often is.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
Sex. You know, I have a sex column. It's called
out Sex. I don't know why people can associate.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Me with sex, and I think that's you know, part
of the reason outside of wanting to delve into these
much needed topics, but also to expand my footprint with
this topic is very important topics talking about sex and
nuanced type of sex, all sex for black women specifically.
(15:40):
So I do sometimes get freshrated, like you know, I
know I'm petite and I'm cute, you know, but I
talk about sex, you know, and.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
We all shouldn't gauge if we feel comfortable doing that
in sex.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So yeah, I've had a couple of conversations We're like, no,
you don't talk about you know, and next thing, you know,
the person across from me is blushing.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
I'm like okay, Like okay, yeah, right, Like let's let's
let's talk about it.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Let's talk about it.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You know, if you don't feel comfortable talked about it
with me, you can read about it. But we definitely
really get into the nitty gritty about all types of sex.
We've had BDSM, you know, topics uncovered, We've had anal surfacing,
We've had a shallowing.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Self pleasure, all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And I think you know sex is a key component
to your overall wellness and happiness.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yes, we love that so much, and dominic you and
I ever believe this right. So the next sentence completion
is what I would tell people about sex.
Speaker 5 (16:48):
Is what I would tell people about sex is get.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yours girl, Yes, yes, yes, that is a priority.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Okay, that's what I would tell people, whether you're doing
individually or with a partner or multiple partners, meet yours
and enjoy.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Yes, yes, we're here for.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
All our final sentence completion, Okay. What I love most
about myself is.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I'm so beautiful. I'm a beautiful person. Yes you are
inside and out. And I'm saying I know I'm my flaws,
but I know I'm a beautiful person.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
That was easy to say that.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
I had love.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
I love how it just it rolled off your tongue,
and I hate I think wouldn't to be more confident
and comfortable with owning our beauty and what we bring.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
To the table.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
So yes for the confidence. We love that so much.
And speaking of confidence, we got this picture pulled up. Okay,
you said number one for the picture. So I'm looking
at the picture. This is a fire ass picture. Okay,
So Domini, can you I'm gonna share it on the
big screen. Can you describe the photo for people that
are only listening to the podcast? And then you got
to give us some context behind it because it is
(18:06):
so fire Let me go ahead and share my screen
all right now?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Oh my goodness, yes.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
So I recently had a thirty third birthday. My birthday
is on August seventh, and I decided to do just
a fun photo shoot. Like I was just like, oh, like,
it's my Jesus here, I'm spiritual. But I also wanted
half of the birthday celebration to be kind of an
(18:35):
homage to myself and Leo fashion in terms and you know,
in two parts right, like we have the style here,
but we also wanted to well for me, I wanted
to acknowledge the parts of myself that got me here today.
And so what you're seeing here is me and a
body condress, a bb not a dupe.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
It's a baby body condress I.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Ordered from bb theirself, and you know this this was
like a fun clubbing, like going out picture. It's a
pink a body con dress. I have my mother's pink
purse that she loved in some meals and a fabulous
tease ponytail that my stylist did. And I think this
(19:18):
was more so about honoring just the fun aspect of
myself and the eight girls of yesterday year in twenty ten,
the body con dress was such that the body caught
in bandage dress was so like popular back in the days,
you know, originated in two thousand and six, and then
(19:40):
the girls, you know, Nicki Minaj wore this version of
a dress up until twenty fourteen. And I just thought
this was such a fun way to honor the twenty
ten since it was a twenty tens photo shoot. So
I definitely I feel like I got a lot of
love on that picture.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
So love it.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yay, Thank you so much for shait and thank you
for playing along for though you've bletches segment, this is
always so fun.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Yes, so it's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yes, we're going to hop into some of these other
questions that we have for you because we do have
a few more. So we wanted to just talk about
your writing. You've written about the importance of healing through storytelling,
and we wanted to know how his storytelling and writing
and curating stories contributed to your own healing journey.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Oh definitely. I think one thing I prat myself on
is being an empathy led journalist because we're tackling so
many hard topics and discussions. I mean, you know, at essence,
lifestyle runs the gamut of health and wellness, love and relationships, sex,
(20:45):
mental health as well, and there were a lot of
stories that we had to tell too, and we also
had to tell it with kindness and compassion. And so
with me and Lucy and my parents at such a
young age, I've feel like I have that empathy chip,
and storytelling has been such an extension of healing because
(21:07):
I can resonate with pain and just kind of having
your whole world falling apart out of nowhere and dealing
with trauma and working through trauma and self care and
what does that mean like outside of bubble bass and candles,
how are you doing the real work to heal? So
I've spoken to dozens of therapists mental health experts, trauma
(21:32):
informed therapists and experts as well to really bring forth
stories that will help black women navigate the intricacies of
trauma and life changes. And so that definitely has helped.
And I also told my story, and I feel so
honored to have the opportunity to talk candidly about my
(21:58):
mom's passing and my dad passing in both.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
The digital and print.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
That's an honor because their names will forever be etched
in history, you.
Speaker 5 (22:08):
Know, both in print in digital.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
So that is a beautiful honor to your parents. And
so for those who are familiar in your work and
aren't familiar with your story, ken you tell us, take
a few moments and tell us about your parents.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, my parents are wonderful, totally different personalities, but you know,
what happened to them was really really difficult for me
to grapple with. And I first lost my dad when
I was twenty years old and he was killed by
a stray bullet in Oakland. He was driving home one
(22:51):
night and there was a shootout at the gas station.
He was passing the gas station and then that's when
he was taking from us. And then ten years later
I recently lost my mom in twenty twenty three from glioblastoma.
It's a severe brain cancer, and so I was in
(23:13):
the hospitals with her and until her last breath, and
that was very difficult because I've experienced loss from two
sides of the spectrum. I always used to say, oh,
you know, I wish this it wasn't so sudden, and
maybe if he was sick it would be better. And
then I experienced my mom and I'm like, Okay, well
(23:34):
it just sucks in general. So at Essence and other publications,
I've also have spoken about my grief and my greeming process,
and I do think that has allowed people who look
like me and people who don't to resonate with the process.
And I do think a lot of people appreciate me
(23:54):
being so transparent about my journey in that way.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Thank you so much for sharing that, DOMINIQ. People really
appreciate you and it, like you said earlier, it's such
a beautiful tribute to your parents to be able to
put their names in digital and print, to let their
legacy live on where we talk about legacy a lot
on the podcast, and I just wanted to know for
people who have lost a parent or parents at such
a young age, it can just be really devastating. Like
(24:22):
I think, I lost my dad when I was a teenager,
and I think about how I thought about all the
things in the future that I thought i'd experienced with him.
I wanted to hear from you. What do you think
you would share with people about how you've been able
to cope with that? But also do you have any
rituals or any practices that keep you connected to your
parents even though they're not on in this plane anymore?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Yes, And I thank you for sharing about your loss too.
I'm sorry to hear that. And I love that you
say plane because I do believe. I'm a spiritual person.
Of course, I believe in God and Jesus as I
am a Christian. However i am I do I was
another spiritual side where and I think that's okay. You
(25:03):
know some people won't understand that, but it's not their journey,
it's mine. And I love that you said Plaine, because
I do believe that there's an ancestral plane and they
are not while they're not in this realm. And I've
said that on Instagram too. Is that you know both
my parents are not in this physical realm, but they're
(25:25):
in this spiritual realm, so there's two different planes, you know.
I speak out loud to them, like my mom and
I used to talk on the phone all the time,
and so I'd be like, girl, guess what happened today?
So and so did this, this and that? And girl,
wasn't that party crazy? You know, things like that. And
(25:48):
I feel her spirit in my home. I feel my parents'
spirit in here all the time. I know they're up
in here, sending on the couch and you know, listening
and you know, talking and chitter chattering.
Speaker 5 (26:00):
But I also have an altar in.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
My home, and I have their remains, and I also
have my grandmother's remains and my dog's remains and everybody.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Everybody's up in here.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You know.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
And I have pictures, I have quotes.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I have tried to carve out a sacred and holy
space for them to rest. My other practice is praying
a lot. I pray a lot, I get quiet. I
need sometimes I need to go in my prayer closet
because there's just a lot of stuff going on. I
also read about grief too, and I study the signs.
(26:38):
I think you know when your loved one is deceased
and you were close to them, you will pick up
on the signs that they're here with you.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
For me, it's seeing sunflowers my mom loves sunflowers, or
seeing my dad's old cars sometimes yor just this, I
feel like hearing his voice sometimes. And I do think
they have strong energies that tend to break through and
permeate this physical realm. I just have worked on being
(27:09):
more open to that, making sure that my heart and
throat shockra are clear so I can receive. And I
think right now, it's not in the stage of my life.
It's not so much of pushing forward and like some
survival things are not going to take you to the
next step and level of life, and the same thing
(27:30):
with grieving. So it's not pushing past the pain. It's
sitting and receiving and knowing and trusting and having faith
that they're right here with you. And I think, you know,
to be honest, it's it's not easy. It's never going
to be easy, and it might not ever feel normal.
But the idea is to lead with acceptance and compassion
(27:55):
for oneself because none of this is normal, you know,
that's the human ex experience. Experiencing death is not normal.
It is supposed to be gut riching and hard, but
we find it in ourselves to accept that and move
(28:16):
forward with them in our hearts and our spirits. I
think that will give you peace and it will serve
as a bomb to that fire inside that anger.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Thank you so much for your answer, and I think
that as you were sharing, there are so many people
who may be dealing with grief that it can resonate
with what you've shared. And hopefully we'll also take some
(28:52):
nuggets from the things that you share, the practices and
how they cope with brief, but more importantly what you
said about out the acceptance and the compassion, And so
I know that in general, acceptance and compassion is something
(29:13):
that we all need, particularly around navigating overall dimensions of wellness.
And so can you share with us some of the
other practices that have helped you to kind of stay
grounded emotionally in when you're navigating other things in your life,
other stressors or maybe even joy.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Yeah, it's always something. I just feel like like that's
the pivot, that's the crux of life. It's always something
right like as soon as you get something here it's like, oh,
I gotta hook this up over there. I think for me,
you know, when it comes to my healing, emotional healing
and wellness, I've been in therapy since twenty thirteen and
(29:57):
it's talk therapy, but I also do a lot of
body work now. I you know, I do get massages
because a lot. And what I found was when my
mom first died, that was such an icky you know,
I felt in my body and there's still remnants in there, right,
And I don't think we talk about and what we have.
I've broached this topic, you know at Essence, but bodywork
(30:21):
and somatic work and really getting that pain out of
your body, and there's practices for that. So I do
with you know, massage at Hotstones. I don't I mean
I could do some acripuncture. I think that's next on
my list. Yeah, and also breath work.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
Has been really really.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Life change is a game changer for me this year
because I felt like last year was just me plowing
thrill given her death was so so horrible, and I
felt like, okay, well, you know people are gonna expect
me to crumble. That's not what I do. So we
are going to lay it out and I did, but
I paid for it, right, So now this is just
(31:07):
kind of a renewal. Also, candle plug, I just blashed
my candle called renewal. But no, in all seriousness, the
renewal part was a lot of that breath work because
I could not, for the life of me, feel present
in my body.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
Said, oh that's a problem.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
I was just I was, I was there, I was
at events, I was working, I was present, but I
wasn't present in my body. I felt nothing. And that
is you know, I know you know this, doctor don
but that's a form of depression where it's a functional depression.
(31:49):
And we've had those conversations too. I've written extensively about
that where you were functioning and even high functioning in
accomplishing all this type of stuff. But I did not
feel a thing last year. I saw everything this year,
every single thing. And while it's difficult and prefer nazis
(32:13):
sometimes I think it's I think it's a testament to
my healing journey. So to condense it, oh that's my
emotional I have so many different like, okay, you know,
I need to go out with my friends, you know,
have a little cocktail, have some fun and I.
Speaker 5 (32:28):
Also, I think people don't know I have a lot
of fun. I'm a fun girl. I'm a funny girl.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
So I have fun and i'm you know, with my girlfriends,
and I love it.
Speaker 5 (32:38):
I love people.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
And then my hobbies, you know, I love I'm doing
my power walking now, but I love dancing and I'm
getting back. I'm about to take a zoomba class tomorrow.
I'm really excited about that. Some hip hop zoomba. And
I have also gotten into horseback riding training to be
an equestrians. It's that is an intricate so I try
(33:02):
when I have time to really commit myself to that,
but it is definitely a commitment. But horses, especially last year,
was really healing for me, and I could do nothing
but focus and be present in that moment because you're
guiding a big horse and you don't want to fall
off the horse. So nothing I could think of mattered
(33:24):
when I was on that horse. So I do love horses,
and I'm looking forward to getting it back into that
and traveling.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
So lots of differentness.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
That's such an incredible answer.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
We talk about like holistic healing on the podcast, not
just one sort of healing modality. So thank you so
much for just sharing this like this vast or these
different techniques and strategies that you're using to kind of
support your whole self. That is so beautiful. We love
to see it, love to hear it. Also shout out
to the candle plug. You said it's called Renewal, Is
that right?
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Yeah, it's a DBF and Tears coldblog. We just sold out,
so it's another real corrasculation and it's a renewal candle
And it was based on my spiritual journey this year
because I did also do this is probably something that
could help your readers. I decided to do a grief
group and I really needed. I mean after the fires
(34:16):
out here and having that moment where you know, I
have both my parents' remains and I needed to leave,
I need to evacuate and I couldn't take them with me,
and that just broke me to pieces. And then when
I got back to La, I was like, you know what,
I need to get some more help emotionally and spiritually.
(34:39):
So I joined the grief group at my church here
in LA and it's been so helpful for my overall
growth and moving forward. And that does not mean leaving
your loved ones behind. That's decease. It means that you
have to continue with your life or was the alternative,
(35:02):
And that is some hard truth that we all have
to grapple with at some point.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
That's such an important reminder and it's so inspired to
hear a woman like you, who's so accomplished, who's on
the go, who's doing all the things, talk about getting help,
because I don't think we were talking about it more,
but I think there's always an opportunity to talk about
how the strong friend is also getting help and getting support,
right and.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
My you know, old friends, and I think I am
being better with that with.
Speaker 5 (35:31):
Them, like say, hey girl, I need some collar plenty.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Like I'm drowning over here. And I think sometimes you
just put that facade up and it's just because people
are just used to you, just kind of plowing through.
And just earlier today I asked my neighbors open up
a box of cookies because I can.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
Open I can't do it. I can't do more. Help me,
please please, you know, like I feel like.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
It's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to
be in tune with yourself so much so that you
know when you need some help, or you know when
you need to stop doing a certain thing or switch
your lifestyle or whatever have you.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Yes, thank you, thank you for that, and emphasizing the
importance of asking for help and acknowledging that as the
strong friend, getting.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
Help is important.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
It truly, it truly is, and getting help can look
as simple as asking your neighbor to open the cookies
for you.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah, exactly, and not apologizing for that. I think, yes,
I'm a friendly neighbor, I'm a friendly community member in society.
And you know, I don't need to say I've done
this X, y Z for people. They know what I've done.
But now it's time for me to receive and be
open to refuting fruitful and reciprocal relationships. And I think
(37:03):
earlier this year my mentors, my mentor was very directly say,
you know what your word is reciprocal this year, that's
your word. Every year, you know, we it's a practice
for me to do my do a word the c suite,
she does a word, and it's just kind of like
a running theme within our circle. And I was like, Yeah,
(37:25):
that is my word, and I'm going to let that
be put in action this year. But I have to
be open enough and humble. I think sometimes we get
we we kind of confuse our ego a little bit
with being the strong friend I got it. Can nobody
help me? Can nobody tell me anything? I've done this
(37:45):
for so long, you know, with that hyper independence. But
you know you're stronger when you let your community help
and vocalize that you need some help.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yes, yes we are Yes, that community care yes is
so important and so Tomnique. When you think of all
of the interviews you've done, the articles you've written, can
(38:20):
you identify any particular person or topic that has transformed
you in ways that you weren't expecting?
Speaker 5 (38:33):
Yeah, I have one type of mind.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
It's the twenty healing from Hurricane Katrina and twenty years later.
That piece broke me open. It you know, it's a
twentieth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. There's all sorts of documentaries
of it. You know, we had one. I think it
(38:57):
was Ryan Cooler's documentary at Essence Fest at the film festival.
But I wrote a print article for that in our
New Orleans and that broke me open because I spoke
to four different Nolan natives who all experienced Hurricane Katrina
(39:20):
in different ways, and they were also different ages, and
a lot of several of them were mental health facilitators,
our mental health facilitators down in New Orleans. And it's
mainly because of what they experienced at a younger age.
So I spoke to an older woman, and you know,
(39:44):
the leading line.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
Of the article was, it was quiet.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
It was silent when I got there and I got back,
there was no music. And how powerful is that a
sitting up to be so rich in culture and music
and expression desolate and signent. And we led with that,
(40:12):
but we also made sure that we had an accurate
account of what these specific Katrinians went through. And it
was hard to hear their stories. I mean, you see
on TV, you know a person or family member that
was adjacent to it, but to hear these personal accounts
(40:34):
and how it became a ripple effect throughout their families
because of this natural disaster, and how our government did
not show up, It did not show up for black
people in general in New Orleans. It was although I
knew about it, it was more eye opening that I
(40:56):
could imagine. And it was an honor you capture those
accounts and for it to be in print. And when
I went down to Essence Fest this year, I ran
into one of the interviewees and she was grateful about
the story. Then we were all stayed at the hotel,
the staff, and you know, I like to talk, and
(41:18):
so I'm chatting and.
Speaker 5 (41:19):
And she said, what do you What do you do?
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Every time I see you come in and out these
big bags and you're rushing and you know, we've you
got the laptop.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
What are you?
Speaker 5 (41:26):
What are you doing at the conventions? And I was like, oh, well,
I work for the magazine and she said really said.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yes, And I said, you know, we also dedicated a
whole issue to New Orleans. And she said, so, what
did you talk about in the magazine. I said, well,
I wrote about Hurricane Getrina. She said, you wrote about that.
I said, yeah, I did. She said, I went through it.
Do you have a magazine? And how God works? I
happened to have one single magazine that I got for
(41:54):
the convention center, just because it's a collectible and like
I like to archive the magazines, especially with my pieces
in it. And I said, oh, I will get to
you and I'll show you. So I go downstairs and
she's waiting for the magazine. I flipped to the page
and she said, will you sign my magazine? And I
guess that's my first autograph. Another one, but that was really, really,
(42:19):
really special because it touched her. Her family went through
her kide Katrina, and she lives, works and breathes and
thrives and New Orleans to this day. And she was
very appreciative of Essence covering back in only the way
that we could.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Wow, wow, wow, that's just right, like just a reminder
of how important it is for us to have our
own platforms to do that, right you wite me, it's
not want to be talking about our stories the way
that they need to be spoken about, and also thinking
about the legacy that's just so incredible, Dominique. As you
were speaking, I was thinking about perspective and just in general.
(43:00):
Is there a certain perspective that you gravitated toward or
believed when you were younger that you either don't believe anymore,
that maybe has shifted drastically at this state in life.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Well, I just thought that I had to do one
specific thing. I think.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Sometimes your community will place their fears on you and
not my parents, but outside community members might place their
fears or their broken dreams or whatever have you on
you and it's okay to be multifested. And I've discovered that,
(43:47):
like you know, I'm bouncing off the walls I have,
you know, the candle and carrier business, writing, doing television segments. Now,
I think it's important to diversify yourself and your skill set,
you know. And I think that's why I went to
grad school for journalism when I heard from so many
people I don't need to go to grad school or
(44:09):
diurnal of them, you know. And I'm so glad that
I did, because who knows, maybe I'll be teaching one
day with my master's. And I think, I just think
the possibilities are endless. As long as you believe that
you really be in your heart, the possibilities are endless.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Yes, I love that the possibilities are endless. And so
speaking of possibilities, yep, as you look ahead, how would
you like wellness individually culturally to evolve for Black women?
(44:49):
Like what are you hoping to explore or amplify next?
Speaker 5 (44:54):
Yeah, definitely, I think that's such a great question. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
I think what you mentioned earlier, comunities of care, you know,
I think sometimes we confuse fancy brunches and conferences and
girl Boss and you know, impact summits as communities of care,
when it really can just be stripped down to being
(45:21):
in someone's home offering a hand. It doesn't need to
be as extensive as it's blown up to be. And
while I get that, you know, I think it is
empowering to a certain extent, I do think we need
to strip back some of the fluff and really get
it to the nitty gritty, which is trauma based work.
(45:42):
I think we all carry so much trauma. And I
also think, like, for instance, give you an example, My
nail lady is so funny. I love her, Linda. She
does this finger every time and she looks and she
goes like this, And I said, Linda, what are you
looking at?
Speaker 4 (45:59):
Girl?
Speaker 5 (46:00):
And she's won. Your finger is curving to the side.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I said, oh, I know. And she said, what is why?
What's up with that? I said, Oh, I don't you know.
I just said, oh, yeah, it's just some weird thing.
I guess that's just been happening. But as I went
home and thought, and I also think so much, sometimes
I'm like why is it? I'm like, oh, that's happened
because my mom had her finger slammed, this exact finger
(46:29):
and it went. She has the same finger like this,
And so I'm making that point to say, trauma is generational.
It lives in our bodies. We have the same exact
finger that's curved. My finger was never slammed in the door.
Her finger was slammed and her nail was altered and
it grew this way on the same hand. Right, Wow,
(46:55):
trauma lives in our bodies. It's it, it's generational. It's
passed down fortunately, and you think about our ancestors and
what they had to go through psychologically, physically, emotionally, and
a piece of that is in our DNA. So how
(47:17):
can we address that but also find spaces of care
and joy, a little joy? And that's what I'm on
the quest for now, my joy.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Wow, wow, wow, Dominic, thank you so much for such
an insightful conversation. It just feels like such a I
don't like a full circle moment, and like all that
you've done for the community, all that you've done and
poured into others, and now you're pouring into yourself and
circling back on your joy, spending the block it makes
you feel your joy bank and that is just so
beautiful to witness, and so we appreciate you so much.
(47:57):
We thank you for your gifts, the leg your building,
the stories you're telling, the stories you're going to tell.
And we'd love for you to let our listeners know
where can they find you, how can they support you
and your work by the candles and anything else that
you have for them to support.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yeah, first follow me on Instagram at Dominique B Fluker,
and then you can Google me and not on me.
In that way a you can find into my website,
could find my email, and you could find all my
bylines and what I'm currently working on.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
Thank you so much, Dominique.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.
Are you currently a resident of the state of California
and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please
reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.
That's d R D O M I N I q
(48:52):
U E B R O U ss ar D dot
com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look
forward to hearing from you. Thanks for tuning into Cultivating
her Space. Remember that while this podcast is all about healing, empowerment,
(49:12):
and resilience. It's not a substitute for therapy. If you
or someone you know need support, check out resources like
Therapy for Black Girls or Psychology Today.
Speaker 4 (49:25):
If you love.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
Today's episode, do us a favor and share it with
a friend who needs some inspiration or leave us a
quick five star review. Your support means the world to
us and helps keep this space thriving.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
And before we meet again, repeat after me, I honor
my journey by balancing effort and rest to achieve my goals.
Cheap Thriving Lady, and tune in next Friday for more
inspiration from cultivating her space. In the meantime, be sure
to connect with us on Instagram. I'm at air Space
(50:01):
Podcast
On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
It's not pushing past the pay it's sitting and receiving
and knowing and trusting and having faith that they're right
here with you.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Hey lady, have you ever felt like the world just
doesn't get you? Well, we do.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting
and empowering women like you.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from
fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black
women to just be.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow
button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady,
we are black founded and black owned, and your support
will help us reach even more women like you.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,
this is for you. Hey, lady, is Tea here and
I just want to invite you to my free goal
map like a pro coaching workshop, where I'll share the
five proven steps to get unstuck and achieve your goals.
Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all your ideas, juggling scattered ideas,
(01:31):
or maybe you just need confidence to start, this workshop
will give you the clarity, tools and the motivation to
take back control. Reserve your spot for free by visiting
her spacepodcast dot com and clicking on the goal map
like a pro webinar link.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Lady, don't miss this.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Chance to build a roadmap that fits your life and
set you up for success. I hope to see you there, lady. Today,
we have a special guest that we are so excited for. Okay,
there's so much that we can say. I'm going to
try to stay focused and just read her bio and
then we're just gonna jump on in.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Okay. Dominique B.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Flucker is a multifaceted creative who brings substance to storytelling.
She's a nationally recognized multimedia journalist, content creator, moderator, interior
designed storyteller. Previously, Dominique served as contributing lifestyle editor Essence Magazine,
editorial manager at LinkedIn, SMB marketing manager at Instagram, editorial
(02:30):
content marketing manager at Glassdoor, and content Marketing manager for
Business Accounts and SMB Growth and at TikTok. The resume
is resume at Okay y'all. She has created purpose driven
and multicultural content for iconic web and print publications including Forbes, Women,
Glamour Magazine, Essence Magazine, Business Insider, Women's Health Variety, and more.
(02:59):
As a culture and entertainment enthusiast, she has interviewed legendary
celebrities including Oprah Okay, Oprah y'all, Tony Braxton, John Legend,
Tracy Ellis, Ross Sheryl Lee, Ralph Robin Roberts, and Serena Williams,
among others. There is so much more that we could
(03:19):
say about Dominique. Her bio and resume is just it's incredible.
But we're gonna let you hear more about her and
her words. So Dominique, welcome to cultivating her space.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Or Hi everyone, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
I really appreciate you welcoming me and I'm happy to
be here.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
You're so welcome.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yes, we are definitely looking forward to this conversation, and
so we're gonna move into our quote of the day
and Dominique, this quote will sound familiar to you because
these are your words. Oh, I'm committed to uplifting Black
women through words and an exploration of difficults but necessary topics. Yeah,
(04:06):
I'm gonna say that one more time for the folks
in the back. I'm committed to uplifting Black women through
words and exploration of difficult but necessary topics.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Mean, okay, I anique.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
When you when you hear this quoll, when you hear
your words reflected back to you, what comes up for you?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Just the severity of that commitment. That is a pledge
and to black women, and I have sworn by it,
and I've tried my very hardest to honor that pledge.
And I think with black women especially, we really need
content that resonates with us, and we also need a
(04:59):
safe space to tell our stories. And that has been
at the core of my work across many different industries,
but specifically at Essence, where I've covered the gamut of
health and wellness, lifestyle, love and relationships, sex, column, you
name it, and also have done empathy led and based
(05:23):
interviews with the celebrities that we're mentioned and more. And
I think through line is the empathy, listening, and compassion
for Black women and our nuanced.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Stories it's so beautifully stated. Thank you so much for that, Dominique.
And we have so many other questions that we want
to ask you, but we want to start. I guess
you could say at the beginning, so could you tell
us what is your origin story? How did you become
the Dominique b Flucker that we see today?
Speaker 5 (05:52):
Thank you so much, Such an honor to see that question.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I find that I'm a learner at my core, and
I always want to continue to evolve, and I really
have just gone with what I've been passionate about over
the years and especially with my career, and it's always
led me to storytelling. But more specifically, I think I've
(06:17):
come to this point of deeper aspiration, rooted in intention
on how I'd like to continue my own legacy when
it comes to storytelling, whether that's editorial, television or any
other platform. And I think what's got me here is
(06:38):
belief in myself, a lot of different type of sacrifices
and grit, and also grace for my big dreams. I
think sometimes we tend to dream and we're like, no,
we can't get that to we can't.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Do it, and you know we're manifesting.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
We're fasting, we're praying, but I think the component is
another needed component is actually believing that you can execute
and do the work, and also building community that can
help you achieve those dreams. I've learned over the years
from graduating from Sarah Lawrence College by undergrad schools that
(07:18):
you know, it might sound cliche, but no dream is
out of reach, and I think it's all about positioning
and really having that confidence to go for it. I
feel like I've gotten a dose of reality, you know,
in my personal life, and I'm sure we'll talk about
it more that life is short. Life is extremely short,
(07:41):
so I kind of use that trauma and pain.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
To just really disco for it.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
And I surprised myself sometimes I'm like, oh, my goodness, But.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
I think that's good.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I think you should always be striving for more and
not like an arrogance sense, not for cloud, not for anything,
but just for yourself and your community.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
I think once.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You kind of get that understanding that you no, no
dream is too big, that can inspire others to just
go for their purpose. And it's not about chasing money.
It's about chasing your purpose always.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Oh I love that it's not about money it's about
chasing your purpose always.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
And so, as I was listening to you share your
origin story, it made me think about So, your Instagram
is a beautiful timeline to your work but also your
personal life. And one of the posts that you shared
(08:45):
was a photo of you and Susan Taylor from years
ago and I don't remember. I don't remember the exact year,
but in the caption you talk about your dad took
that photo.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Oh gosh, I wish he was still here. Yeah, my
dad took that photo of Susan L. Taylor and I
in twenty eleven. At So, my dad was a photojournalist
at the Oaken Tribune and I used to go with
him on assignments all the time, and I was tagging along.
I believe I was home for a winter break from
Sarah Lawrence College. And he's like, my dad was super animated.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
That's where I get it from. He's like, move out,
like you know, pushing people. I was like, oh my god,
that's embears.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
You know, move off the way. My daughter has to
get a picture with Susan L.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Taylor.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
She's gonna work for her one day, She's gonna work
for the magazine and I'm just like, you know, I
always thought my parents, both of them are deceased, and
we can talk about that a little later.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
I had these outlandish dreams for me.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
You know.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
Another funny stories that my mom.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
She would say, you know what, Tommy, when you get famous,
need to drop slugger. It just should be Dominique Brielle.
I'm like, oh my god, Ma, what is going on here?
But I do I do give them all the credit
for that type of confidence, but also making sure that
I'm grounded, and they just wanted me to soar no
(10:18):
matter what the profession was. But I think my dad
had so much respect for Susan L. Taylor and essence
and the legacy that is that publication more like an
institution at this point of fifty five years in County
and it's you know, it's been one of the honors
of my life to be associated with the publication for
(10:40):
many years before I transitioned into being an editor three
years ago.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Oh, we can't wait to get no more stories about
your parents. That is such a fun story. Thank you
for I can visualize this so thank you so much
for sharing that, Dominique. Now, Dominique, we have again a
lot of other questions for you, but we want to
shift up the energy a little bit. Yes, and because
we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and we
believe that it's okay to be bougie, classy and ratchet. Right,
(11:07):
you can still be elegant, all three of them are.
You can still be elegant and dance to strip club
music if you so choose. We want to invite you
to the oh you blatchet segment? Do you take on
the challenge?
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Excited? Challenge me up?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Girls? All right?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
All right, So now that you've agreed, you and we're
going to tell you what to expect. Okay, So we
have three questions for you. Okay, we have three sentence completions,
and then we have three photos pulled up of you. You
see me looking up. I'm looking at the photos. We
have three photos pulled up of you that will share
with you on the big screen. But we want you
to choose a number out of one and three and
then we'll share one of those photos with you, and
(11:43):
we want you to take a look.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
At the photo, describe it.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
For folks that are not watching us in the interview,
they're only listening to the audio and then give us
some context about the photo that we wouldn't know just
by looking at it.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
So and I have many spread photos.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
It's oh, yeah, we can't wait, we can't wait, So
I'm paying for one.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I think, yeah, we wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Go number one.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Okay, so we're gonna we're already ready with the pictures.
So we're gonna show you the picture after we asked
the questions and do the sentence completions. But it's already cute. Up,
it's ready to go. And it's a cute one too.
So we're gonna ease into the segment. And the first
question is what's the best piece of wisdom or advice
you've ever received, Like thinking about all the verticals and
industries you've been in, the advice your parents gave you, Like,
(12:28):
what's the one piece where you're like, this is the one?
Speaker 5 (12:34):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I'm gonna go with my mother's advice. I mean she
was a straight shooter and.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
She would just.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Say to me, be honest, don't lie, be on And
I think that has guided me. And you know she
used to say that to me when I was younger, Tommy,
don't fit be honest, tell me the truth, and I
think that has spend my through line with all the
different industries. You know, I produce honest work, I tell
(13:07):
it like it is, and I curate honest and truthful
interview questions and conversations ones that we need to talk
about in our black community.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
So I think it's always be truthful.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Good one, thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Yes, I love that. Okay, Now that was that was
so profound. This next question is not profound at all.
We're switching gears, okay, and so this next question, uh huh.
When you hear your favorite song, come on, are you
(13:50):
gonna twork?
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Or two steps?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm twerking, all right, we're here for.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Work.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Okay, Like I'm not all over, but I'm you know,
I'm turking.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yes, we love it, we love it, hey, Dominic. The
next question for you is what's the sexiest item you own?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, the sexiest item my own is lingerie. Yes, a
girl needs her lingerie items and a very.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Grown woman needs her. Yeah, it's just black. It's just black.
But I also find.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Like robes and kimonos really sexy too, So that one
from Japan that's all silk, and it's just so wonderful
to put on or check off. So go ahead, that's right,
come on.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Okay, and so now for our sentence completion. One question
or topic I wish people asked me about more often is.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
Sex. You know, I have a sex column. It's called
out Sex. I don't know why people can associate.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Me with sex, and I think that's you know, part
of the reason outside of wanting to delve into these
much needed topics, but also to expand my footprint with
this topic is very important topics talking about sex and
nuanced type of sex, all sex for black women specifically.
(15:40):
So I do sometimes get freshrated, like you know, I
know I'm petite and I'm cute, you know, but I
talk about sex, you know, and.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
We all shouldn't gauge if we feel comfortable doing that
in sex.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So yeah, I've had a couple of conversations We're like, no,
you don't talk about you know, and next thing, you know,
the person across from me is blushing.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
I'm like okay, Like okay, yeah, right, Like let's let's
let's talk about it.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Let's talk about it.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You know, if you don't feel comfortable talked about it
with me, you can read about it. But we definitely
really get into the nitty gritty about all types of sex.
We've had BDSM, you know, topics uncovered, We've had anal surfacing,
We've had a shallowing.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Self pleasure, all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And I think you know sex is a key component
to your overall wellness and happiness.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yes, we love that so much, and dominic you and
I ever believe this right. So the next sentence completion
is what I would tell people about sex.
Speaker 5 (16:48):
Is what I would tell people about sex is get.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yours girl, Yes, yes, yes, that is a priority.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Okay, that's what I would tell people, whether you're doing
individually or with a partner or multiple partners, meet yours
and enjoy.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Yes, yes, we're here for.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
All our final sentence completion, Okay. What I love most
about myself is.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I'm so beautiful. I'm a beautiful person. Yes you are
inside and out. And I'm saying I know I'm my flaws,
but I know I'm a beautiful person.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
That was easy to say that.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
I had love.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
I love how it just it rolled off your tongue,
and I hate I think wouldn't to be more confident
and comfortable with owning our beauty and what we bring.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
To the table.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
So yes for the confidence. We love that so much.
And speaking of confidence, we got this picture pulled up. Okay,
you said number one for the picture. So I'm looking
at the picture. This is a fire ass picture. Okay,
So Domini, can you I'm gonna share it on the
big screen. Can you describe the photo for people that
are only listening to the podcast? And then you got
to give us some context behind it because it is
(18:06):
so fire Let me go ahead and share my screen
all right now?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Oh my goodness, yes.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
So I recently had a thirty third birthday. My birthday
is on August seventh, and I decided to do just
a fun photo shoot. Like I was just like, oh, like,
it's my Jesus here, I'm spiritual. But I also wanted
half of the birthday celebration to be kind of an
(18:35):
homage to myself and Leo fashion in terms and you know,
in two parts right, like we have the style here,
but we also wanted to well for me, I wanted
to acknowledge the parts of myself that got me here today.
And so what you're seeing here is me and a
body condress, a bb not a dupe.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
It's a baby body condress I.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Ordered from bb theirself, and you know this this was
like a fun clubbing, like going out picture. It's a
pink a body con dress. I have my mother's pink
purse that she loved in some meals and a fabulous
tease ponytail that my stylist did. And I think this
(19:18):
was more so about honoring just the fun aspect of
myself and the eight girls of yesterday year in twenty ten,
the body con dress was such that the body caught
in bandage dress was so like popular back in the days,
you know, originated in two thousand and six, and then
(19:40):
the girls, you know, Nicki Minaj wore this version of
a dress up until twenty fourteen. And I just thought
this was such a fun way to honor the twenty
ten since it was a twenty tens photo shoot. So
I definitely I feel like I got a lot of
love on that picture.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
So love it.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yay, Thank you so much for shait and thank you
for playing along for though you've bletches segment, this is
always so fun.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Yes, so it's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yes, we're going to hop into some of these other
questions that we have for you because we do have
a few more. So we wanted to just talk about
your writing. You've written about the importance of healing through storytelling,
and we wanted to know how his storytelling and writing
and curating stories contributed to your own healing journey.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Oh definitely. I think one thing I prat myself on
is being an empathy led journalist because we're tackling so
many hard topics and discussions. I mean, you know, at essence,
lifestyle runs the gamut of health and wellness, love and relationships, sex,
(20:45):
mental health as well, and there were a lot of
stories that we had to tell too, and we also
had to tell it with kindness and compassion. And so
with me and Lucy and my parents at such a
young age, I've feel like I have that empathy chip,
and storytelling has been such an extension of healing because
(21:07):
I can resonate with pain and just kind of having
your whole world falling apart out of nowhere and dealing
with trauma and working through trauma and self care and
what does that mean like outside of bubble bass and candles,
how are you doing the real work to heal? So
I've spoken to dozens of therapists mental health experts, trauma
(21:32):
informed therapists and experts as well to really bring forth
stories that will help black women navigate the intricacies of
trauma and life changes. And so that definitely has helped.
And I also told my story, and I feel so
honored to have the opportunity to talk candidly about my
(21:58):
mom's passing and my dad passing in both.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
The digital and print.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
That's an honor because their names will forever be etched
in history, you.
Speaker 5 (22:08):
Know, both in print in digital.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
So that is a beautiful honor to your parents. And
so for those who are familiar in your work and
aren't familiar with your story, ken you tell us, take
a few moments and tell us about your parents.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, my parents are wonderful, totally different personalities, but you know,
what happened to them was really really difficult for me
to grapple with. And I first lost my dad when
I was twenty years old and he was killed by
a stray bullet in Oakland. He was driving home one
(22:51):
night and there was a shootout at the gas station.
He was passing the gas station and then that's when
he was taking from us. And then ten years later
I recently lost my mom in twenty twenty three from glioblastoma.
It's a severe brain cancer, and so I was in
(23:13):
the hospitals with her and until her last breath, and
that was very difficult because I've experienced loss from two
sides of the spectrum. I always used to say, oh,
you know, I wish this it wasn't so sudden, and
maybe if he was sick it would be better. And
then I experienced my mom and I'm like, Okay, well
(23:34):
it just sucks in general. So at Essence and other publications,
I've also have spoken about my grief and my greeming process,
and I do think that has allowed people who look
like me and people who don't to resonate with the process.
And I do think a lot of people appreciate me
(23:54):
being so transparent about my journey in that way.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Thank you so much for sharing that, DOMINIQ. People really
appreciate you and it, like you said earlier, it's such
a beautiful tribute to your parents to be able to
put their names in digital and print, to let their
legacy live on where we talk about legacy a lot
on the podcast, and I just wanted to know for
people who have lost a parent or parents at such
a young age, it can just be really devastating. Like
(24:22):
I think, I lost my dad when I was a teenager,
and I think about how I thought about all the
things in the future that I thought i'd experienced with him.
I wanted to hear from you. What do you think
you would share with people about how you've been able
to cope with that? But also do you have any
rituals or any practices that keep you connected to your
parents even though they're not on in this plane anymore?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Yes, And I thank you for sharing about your loss too.
I'm sorry to hear that. And I love that you
say plane because I do believe. I'm a spiritual person.
Of course, I believe in God and Jesus as I
am a Christian. However i am I do I was
another spiritual side where and I think that's okay. You
(25:03):
know some people won't understand that, but it's not their journey,
it's mine. And I love that you said Plaine, because
I do believe that there's an ancestral plane and they
are not while they're not in this realm. And I've
said that on Instagram too. Is that you know both
my parents are not in this physical realm, but they're
(25:25):
in this spiritual realm, so there's two different planes, you know.
I speak out loud to them, like my mom and
I used to talk on the phone all the time,
and so I'd be like, girl, guess what happened today?
So and so did this, this and that? And girl,
wasn't that party crazy? You know, things like that. And
(25:48):
I feel her spirit in my home. I feel my parents'
spirit in here all the time. I know they're up
in here, sending on the couch and you know, listening
and you know, talking and chitter chattering.
Speaker 5 (26:00):
But I also have an altar in.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
My home, and I have their remains, and I also
have my grandmother's remains and my dog's remains and everybody.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Everybody's up in here.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You know.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
And I have pictures, I have quotes.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I have tried to carve out a sacred and holy
space for them to rest. My other practice is praying
a lot. I pray a lot, I get quiet. I
need sometimes I need to go in my prayer closet
because there's just a lot of stuff going on. I
also read about grief too, and I study the signs.
(26:38):
I think you know when your loved one is deceased
and you were close to them, you will pick up
on the signs that they're here with you.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
For me, it's seeing sunflowers my mom loves sunflowers, or
seeing my dad's old cars sometimes yor just this, I
feel like hearing his voice sometimes. And I do think
they have strong energies that tend to break through and
permeate this physical realm. I just have worked on being
(27:09):
more open to that, making sure that my heart and
throat shockra are clear so I can receive. And I
think right now, it's not in the stage of my life.
It's not so much of pushing forward and like some
survival things are not going to take you to the
next step and level of life, and the same thing
(27:30):
with grieving. So it's not pushing past the pain. It's
sitting and receiving and knowing and trusting and having faith
that they're right here with you. And I think, you know,
to be honest, it's it's not easy. It's never going
to be easy, and it might not ever feel normal.
But the idea is to lead with acceptance and compassion
(27:55):
for oneself because none of this is normal, you know,
that's the human ex experience. Experiencing death is not normal.
It is supposed to be gut riching and hard, but
we find it in ourselves to accept that and move
(28:16):
forward with them in our hearts and our spirits. I
think that will give you peace and it will serve
as a bomb to that fire inside that anger.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Thank you so much for your answer, and I think
that as you were sharing, there are so many people
who may be dealing with grief that it can resonate
with what you've shared. And hopefully we'll also take some
(28:52):
nuggets from the things that you share, the practices and
how they cope with brief, but more importantly what you
said about out the acceptance and the compassion, And so
I know that in general, acceptance and compassion is something
(29:13):
that we all need, particularly around navigating overall dimensions of wellness.
And so can you share with us some of the
other practices that have helped you to kind of stay
grounded emotionally in when you're navigating other things in your life,
other stressors or maybe even joy.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Yeah, it's always something. I just feel like like that's
the pivot, that's the crux of life. It's always something
right like as soon as you get something here it's like, oh,
I gotta hook this up over there. I think for me,
you know, when it comes to my healing, emotional healing
and wellness, I've been in therapy since twenty thirteen and
(29:57):
it's talk therapy, but I also do a lot of
body work now. I you know, I do get massages
because a lot. And what I found was when my
mom first died, that was such an icky you know,
I felt in my body and there's still remnants in there, right,
And I don't think we talk about and what we have.
I've broached this topic, you know at Essence, but bodywork
(30:21):
and somatic work and really getting that pain out of
your body, and there's practices for that. So I do
with you know, massage at Hotstones. I don't I mean
I could do some acripuncture. I think that's next on
my list. Yeah, and also breath work.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
Has been really really.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Life change is a game changer for me this year
because I felt like last year was just me plowing
thrill given her death was so so horrible, and I
felt like, okay, well, you know people are gonna expect
me to crumble. That's not what I do. So we
are going to lay it out and I did, but
I paid for it, right, So now this is just
(31:07):
kind of a renewal. Also, candle plug, I just blashed
my candle called renewal. But no, in all seriousness, the
renewal part was a lot of that breath work because
I could not, for the life of me, feel present
in my body.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
Said, oh that's a problem.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
I was just I was, I was there, I was
at events, I was working, I was present, but I
wasn't present in my body. I felt nothing. And that
is you know, I know you know this, doctor don
but that's a form of depression where it's a functional depression.
(31:49):
And we've had those conversations too. I've written extensively about
that where you were functioning and even high functioning in
accomplishing all this type of stuff. But I did not
feel a thing last year. I saw everything this year,
every single thing. And while it's difficult and prefer nazis
(32:13):
sometimes I think it's I think it's a testament to
my healing journey. So to condense it, oh that's my
emotional I have so many different like, okay, you know,
I need to go out with my friends, you know,
have a little cocktail, have some fun and I.
Speaker 5 (32:28):
Also, I think people don't know I have a lot
of fun. I'm a fun girl. I'm a funny girl.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
So I have fun and i'm you know, with my girlfriends,
and I love it.
Speaker 5 (32:38):
I love people.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
And then my hobbies, you know, I love I'm doing
my power walking now, but I love dancing and I'm
getting back. I'm about to take a zoomba class tomorrow.
I'm really excited about that. Some hip hop zoomba. And
I have also gotten into horseback riding training to be
an equestrians. It's that is an intricate so I try
(33:02):
when I have time to really commit myself to that,
but it is definitely a commitment. But horses, especially last year,
was really healing for me, and I could do nothing
but focus and be present in that moment because you're
guiding a big horse and you don't want to fall
off the horse. So nothing I could think of mattered
(33:24):
when I was on that horse. So I do love horses,
and I'm looking forward to getting it back into that
and traveling.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
So lots of differentness.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
That's such an incredible answer.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
We talk about like holistic healing on the podcast, not
just one sort of healing modality. So thank you so
much for just sharing this like this vast or these
different techniques and strategies that you're using to kind of
support your whole self. That is so beautiful. We love
to see it, love to hear it. Also shout out
to the candle plug. You said it's called Renewal, Is
that right?
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Yeah, it's a DBF and Tears coldblog. We just sold out,
so it's another real corrasculation and it's a renewal candle
And it was based on my spiritual journey this year
because I did also do this is probably something that
could help your readers. I decided to do a grief
group and I really needed. I mean after the fires
(34:16):
out here and having that moment where you know, I
have both my parents' remains and I needed to leave,
I need to evacuate and I couldn't take them with me,
and that just broke me to pieces. And then when
I got back to La, I was like, you know what,
I need to get some more help emotionally and spiritually.
(34:39):
So I joined the grief group at my church here
in LA and it's been so helpful for my overall
growth and moving forward. And that does not mean leaving
your loved ones behind. That's decease. It means that you
have to continue with your life or was the alternative,
(35:02):
And that is some hard truth that we all have
to grapple with at some point.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
That's such an important reminder and it's so inspired to
hear a woman like you, who's so accomplished, who's on
the go, who's doing all the things, talk about getting help,
because I don't think we were talking about it more,
but I think there's always an opportunity to talk about
how the strong friend is also getting help and getting support,
right and.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
My you know, old friends, and I think I am
being better with that with.
Speaker 5 (35:31):
Them, like say, hey girl, I need some collar plenty.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Like I'm drowning over here. And I think sometimes you
just put that facade up and it's just because people
are just used to you, just kind of plowing through.
And just earlier today I asked my neighbors open up
a box of cookies because I can.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
Open I can't do it. I can't do more. Help me,
please please, you know, like I feel like.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
It's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to
be in tune with yourself so much so that you
know when you need some help, or you know when
you need to stop doing a certain thing or switch
your lifestyle or whatever have you.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Yes, thank you, thank you for that, and emphasizing the
importance of asking for help and acknowledging that as the
strong friend, getting.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
Help is important.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
It truly, it truly is, and getting help can look
as simple as asking your neighbor to open the cookies
for you.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah, exactly, and not apologizing for that. I think, yes,
I'm a friendly neighbor, I'm a friendly community member in society.
And you know, I don't need to say I've done
this X, y Z for people. They know what I've done.
But now it's time for me to receive and be
open to refuting fruitful and reciprocal relationships. And I think
(37:03):
earlier this year my mentors, my mentor was very directly say,
you know what your word is reciprocal this year, that's
your word. Every year, you know, we it's a practice
for me to do my do a word the c suite,
she does a word, and it's just kind of like
a running theme within our circle. And I was like, Yeah,
(37:25):
that is my word, and I'm going to let that
be put in action this year. But I have to
be open enough and humble. I think sometimes we get
we we kind of confuse our ego a little bit
with being the strong friend I got it. Can nobody
help me? Can nobody tell me anything? I've done this
(37:45):
for so long, you know, with that hyper independence. But
you know you're stronger when you let your community help
and vocalize that you need some help.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yes, yes we are Yes, that community care yes is
so important and so Tomnique. When you think of all
of the interviews you've done, the articles you've written, can
(38:20):
you identify any particular person or topic that has transformed
you in ways that you weren't expecting?
Speaker 5 (38:33):
Yeah, I have one type of mind.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
It's the twenty healing from Hurricane Katrina and twenty years later.
That piece broke me open. It you know, it's a
twentieth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. There's all sorts of documentaries
of it. You know, we had one. I think it
(38:57):
was Ryan Cooler's documentary at Essence Fest at the film festival.
But I wrote a print article for that in our
New Orleans and that broke me open because I spoke
to four different Nolan natives who all experienced Hurricane Katrina
(39:20):
in different ways, and they were also different ages, and
a lot of several of them were mental health facilitators,
our mental health facilitators down in New Orleans. And it's
mainly because of what they experienced at a younger age.
So I spoke to an older woman, and you know,
(39:44):
the leading line.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
Of the article was, it was quiet.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
It was silent when I got there and I got back,
there was no music. And how powerful is that a
sitting up to be so rich in culture and music
and expression desolate and signent. And we led with that,
(40:12):
but we also made sure that we had an accurate
account of what these specific Katrinians went through. And it
was hard to hear their stories. I mean, you see
on TV, you know a person or family member that
was adjacent to it, but to hear these personal accounts
(40:34):
and how it became a ripple effect throughout their families
because of this natural disaster, and how our government did
not show up, It did not show up for black
people in general in New Orleans. It was although I
knew about it, it was more eye opening that I
(40:56):
could imagine. And it was an honor you capture those
accounts and for it to be in print. And when
I went down to Essence Fest this year, I ran
into one of the interviewees and she was grateful about
the story. Then we were all stayed at the hotel,
the staff, and you know, I like to talk, and
(41:18):
so I'm chatting and.
Speaker 5 (41:19):
And she said, what do you What do you do?
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Every time I see you come in and out these
big bags and you're rushing and you know, we've you
got the laptop.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
What are you?
Speaker 5 (41:26):
What are you doing at the conventions? And I was like, oh, well,
I work for the magazine and she said really said.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yes, And I said, you know, we also dedicated a
whole issue to New Orleans. And she said, so, what
did you talk about in the magazine. I said, well,
I wrote about Hurricane Getrina. She said, you wrote about that.
I said, yeah, I did. She said, I went through it.
Do you have a magazine? And how God works? I
happened to have one single magazine that I got for
(41:54):
the convention center, just because it's a collectible and like
I like to archive the magazines, especially with my pieces
in it. And I said, oh, I will get to
you and I'll show you. So I go downstairs and
she's waiting for the magazine. I flipped to the page
and she said, will you sign my magazine? And I
guess that's my first autograph. Another one, but that was really, really,
(42:19):
really special because it touched her. Her family went through
her kide Katrina, and she lives, works and breathes and
thrives and New Orleans to this day. And she was
very appreciative of Essence covering back in only the way
that we could.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Wow, wow, wow, that's just right, like just a reminder
of how important it is for us to have our
own platforms to do that, right you wite me, it's
not want to be talking about our stories the way
that they need to be spoken about, and also thinking
about the legacy that's just so incredible, Dominique. As you
were speaking, I was thinking about perspective and just in general.
(43:00):
Is there a certain perspective that you gravitated toward or
believed when you were younger that you either don't believe anymore,
that maybe has shifted drastically at this state in life.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Well, I just thought that I had to do one
specific thing. I think.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Sometimes your community will place their fears on you and
not my parents, but outside community members might place their
fears or their broken dreams or whatever have you on
you and it's okay to be multifested. And I've discovered that,
(43:47):
like you know, I'm bouncing off the walls I have,
you know, the candle and carrier business, writing, doing television segments. Now,
I think it's important to diversify yourself and your skill set,
you know. And I think that's why I went to
grad school for journalism when I heard from so many
people I don't need to go to grad school or
(44:09):
diurnal of them, you know. And I'm so glad that
I did, because who knows, maybe I'll be teaching one
day with my master's. And I think, I just think
the possibilities are endless. As long as you believe that
you really be in your heart, the possibilities are endless.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Yes, I love that the possibilities are endless. And so
speaking of possibilities, yep, as you look ahead, how would
you like wellness individually culturally to evolve for Black women?
(44:49):
Like what are you hoping to explore or amplify next?
Speaker 5 (44:54):
Yeah, definitely, I think that's such a great question. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
I think what you mentioned earlier, comunities of care, you know,
I think sometimes we confuse fancy brunches and conferences and
girl Boss and you know, impact summits as communities of care,
when it really can just be stripped down to being
(45:21):
in someone's home offering a hand. It doesn't need to
be as extensive as it's blown up to be. And
while I get that, you know, I think it is
empowering to a certain extent, I do think we need
to strip back some of the fluff and really get
it to the nitty gritty, which is trauma based work.
(45:42):
I think we all carry so much trauma. And I
also think, like, for instance, give you an example, My
nail lady is so funny. I love her, Linda. She
does this finger every time and she looks and she
goes like this, And I said, Linda, what are you
looking at?
Speaker 4 (45:59):
Girl?
Speaker 5 (46:00):
And she's won. Your finger is curving to the side.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I said, oh, I know. And she said, what is why?
What's up with that? I said, Oh, I don't you know.
I just said, oh, yeah, it's just some weird thing.
I guess that's just been happening. But as I went
home and thought, and I also think so much, sometimes
I'm like why is it? I'm like, oh, that's happened
because my mom had her finger slammed, this exact finger
(46:29):
and it went. She has the same finger like this,
And so I'm making that point to say, trauma is generational.
It lives in our bodies. We have the same exact
finger that's curved. My finger was never slammed in the door.
Her finger was slammed and her nail was altered and
it grew this way on the same hand. Right, Wow,
(46:55):
trauma lives in our bodies. It's it, it's generational. It's
passed down fortunately, and you think about our ancestors and
what they had to go through psychologically, physically, emotionally, and
a piece of that is in our DNA. So how
(47:17):
can we address that but also find spaces of care
and joy, a little joy? And that's what I'm on
the quest for now, my joy.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Wow, wow, wow, Dominic, thank you so much for such
an insightful conversation. It just feels like such a I
don't like a full circle moment, and like all that
you've done for the community, all that you've done and
poured into others, and now you're pouring into yourself and
circling back on your joy, spending the block it makes
you feel your joy bank and that is just so
beautiful to witness, and so we appreciate you so much.
(47:57):
We thank you for your gifts, the leg your building,
the stories you're telling, the stories you're going to tell.
And we'd love for you to let our listeners know
where can they find you, how can they support you
and your work by the candles and anything else that
you have for them to support.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yeah, first follow me on Instagram at Dominique B Fluker,
and then you can Google me and not on me.
In that way a you can find into my website,
could find my email, and you could find all my
bylines and what I'm currently working on.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
Thank you so much, Dominique.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.
Are you currently a resident of the state of California
and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please
reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.
That's d R D O M I N I q
(48:52):
U E B R O U ss ar D dot
com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look
forward to hearing from you. Thanks for tuning into Cultivating
her Space. Remember that while this podcast is all about healing, empowerment,
(49:12):
and resilience. It's not a substitute for therapy. If you
or someone you know need support, check out resources like
Therapy for Black Girls or Psychology Today.
Speaker 4 (49:25):
If you love.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
Today's episode, do us a favor and share it with
a friend who needs some inspiration or leave us a
quick five star review. Your support means the world to
us and helps keep this space thriving.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
And before we meet again, repeat after me, I honor
my journey by balancing effort and rest to achieve my goals.
Cheap Thriving Lady, and tune in next Friday for more
inspiration from cultivating her space. In the meantime, be sure
to connect with us on Instagram. I'm at air Space
(50:01):
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