November 7, 2025 • 48 mins
Hey lady! You know like we know that sometimes we are…right. It’s never about being right, it’s just the truth that sometimes we have opinions that are actually right even if they may be controversial.
This week, Terri and Dr. Dom offer a cheeky look at some real “hear us out” situations that will possibly get them cancelled. The two offer some common sense perspectives about things we may have been socialized to believe that are no longer true (White looks just as good in the winter as it does in the Summer) and some that we have been socialized to believe that were actually never true (sugar belongs in a lot of places…just not grits).
Lady, tap in on Instagram and let us know which opinions you have that would get you cancelled (respectfully)! Which one of these opinions do you not so secretly agree with?
Quote of the Day:
“It’s givin’ ‘I’m right, but let’s discuss it anyway.’"
— Every Black woman with receipts and restraint
Goal Mapping Starter Guide Cultivating
H.E.R. Space Sanctuary
Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC
Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.
This week, Terri and Dr. Dom offer a cheeky look at some real “hear us out” situations that will possibly get them cancelled. The two offer some common sense perspectives about things we may have been socialized to believe that are no longer true (White looks just as good in the winter as it does in the Summer) and some that we have been socialized to believe that were actually never true (sugar belongs in a lot of places…just not grits).
Lady, tap in on Instagram and let us know which opinions you have that would get you cancelled (respectfully)! Which one of these opinions do you not so secretly agree with?
Quote of the Day:
“It’s givin’ ‘I’m right, but let’s discuss it anyway.’"
— Every Black woman with receipts and restraint
Goal Mapping Starter Guide Cultivating
H.E.R. Space Sanctuary
Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC
Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. Share trauma
is not our reason to stay, It's a reason to heal,
and sometimes that means you also got a bounce.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hey, lady, have you ever felt like the world just
doesn't get you? Well, we do.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting
and empowering women like you.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard, and educator and psychologists.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from
fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black
women to just be.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow
button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady.
We are black founded and black owned, and your support
will help us reach even more women like you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.
Are you currently a resident of the state of California
in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please
reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.
That's d R D O M I n I q
(01:29):
U E B R O U s s ar D
dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I
look forward to hearing from you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Our quote of the day is given. I'm right, but
let's discuss it anyway, says every black woman with receipts
and restraint. And I'm gonna say this one more time
for y'all. I'm right, but let's discuss it anyway. Alright.
T So we know that that quote was a little cheeky,
(02:04):
but it fits our discussion for today.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yes it does. Indeed, it makes me think about those
instances where like you have the receipts, you already know
that you know that, you know that you know what
you're talking about, and you're right. But because we're evolving,
because we're healing in a hold space for other people
to be able to share, let them, you know, share
even when they're wrong. This is how we feel on
(02:32):
the inside. We may not always say it out loud,
but this is how we feel in these side Sometimes yes.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yes, yes, and it's you know all right, well, yeah,
we can have this discussion because I know it'll make
you feel better. And also sometimes we're gonna have this discussion,
because as we talk it out, you'll eventually come around
to what I said in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, the right way.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm right exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, lady, as you can tell, we're feeling a little
like down said, a little cheeky, a little petty. You know,
every once in a while, you gotta be a little petty.
Let's not even get into a girl now you got,
Now I'm over. I think about Cardi B's album. Yes,
I watched Queue Up Pretty and Petty. But anyway, lady,
today we are feeling bold. Okay, we are feeling bold
(03:25):
on this episode.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, like like super bold, real bold, like don't cancel us,
just hear us out bold, like bring it back to
our quote of the day. M h, we're right, but
let's discuss it anyway.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
We listen and we don't judge. Isn't that what they
say on social media? Yes, guys, listen, today's episode is
really all about those unpopular opinions, you know, the ones
you might whisper to your girlfriends or you might post
it in the group chat, but you wouldn't never posted online.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, yes, I love my people, but we got to
talk about this kind of opinion.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yes, indeed, yes, indeed. So here's the thing, lady. Some
of these are cultural myths, some are just hilarious hot takes,
and some well, let's just say that your auntie and
maybe even your grandma my side side eye us. Okay,
they see us the cookout because some of these, yeah,
(04:37):
it's gonna get interesting. It's about to get real.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It's about to get real, and it's all love, right,
it's all in love. Because we're talking about the things
that all of us do or all of us say,
and we want to make sure that we're kind of conveying.
So as you're listening, some of this will will start
(05:02):
off in topics that's seen not seen. They are pretty serious,
and by the end of this episode, lady, we hope
that you are laughing with us and saying, oh, yeah,
they are right about that.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Indeed, indeed, even if you disagree, make sure you go
over to our Instagram at her Space podcast and you
just drop it on any posts like let us know
what you would add to the list or what you
disagree with. We want to hear your opinion as well,
and we want you to get ready, okay, get ready,
get cozy, get ready to join the conversation in your
(05:44):
head like you always do. Okay, you know we're your
homegirls or sister friends or auntie's in your head, whatever
you like to call us. So let's get ready.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
All right, So hear us out. Okay, whenever you start
with that, listen, hear us out, and know that you
can walk away from this saying that you're glad that
we said it out loud. Okay, even it real.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So should we dive into number one? The first, the
first unpopular opinion? Now, the first unpopular opinion is that
writing a will doesn't attract death, it attracts peace. Now.
I know you might be like, girl, this is morbid,
But honestly, when you think about it, especially in this
day age now, I don't know about you, I feel
(06:38):
like times have just changed. I feel like there maybe
it's because of social media, but there appear to be
so many more like tragedies and just unexpected wild things
happening these days versus back in the day. Like I
was thinking about all the accidents that I see now,
just an example, Okay, lady at amusement parks, I used
to be a roller coaster girl, Girl, I'm getting on
no motherfucker roller coaster to these day, I'm done. I
(07:01):
went to six Flags. I want to you know, all
the water parks, So City, all that stuff when I
was younger. I'm not doing it these days. It's too
risky to me. So when it comes to this will, right,
this first one here, it's not morbid, its maturity. Preparation
is protection. We should all be doing this in preparing
because death is the only thing that we can guarante,
(07:24):
one of the only things that we can guarantee in
this lifetime. It's gonna we're all gonna meet that experience
at some point. And when you think about it, a
will is love and writing right, it gives you a
family peace, not panic. I can't think of how many
times I've witnessed this in my family where somebody passed
away and people are fighting over the goddamn bed and
the house and the car, like all the things. It's
(07:46):
just like the shoes and the jewelry. It's like we
could have prepared for that in advance, and so it'd
be really helpful if we. I know, you're probably damn y'all.
Y'all came in hot, but this is the first one.
We're gonna get lighter in a minute. But it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I have a will, yeah, I yes, yes, yes, yes,
you need a will. And so then that takes us
to the next one that is related. It's we all
need life insurance because peace of mind is a love language.
(08:24):
So just like you have that will, having that life
insurance is about the love that you are offering to
your family once you were gone. Right. And the thing
about the life insurance that I wish people knew is
(08:46):
that it is cheaper for you to pay into it
the earlier in life you start, and over time it's
better to have the whole life insurance versus a term
life policy. Now I am not an insurance agent, so
this is not meant to be advice. Let me just
add that disclaimer in there. All your insurance agents don't
(09:09):
come for me later. I'm just saying from what I
know from personal experience, having a whole life policy from
early on, like as early as you can get it
is better for you and your loved ones in the
(09:32):
long run.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yes, and again it all goes back to peace, protecting
our peace, and honestly, get them for your kids as well,
Like this is all about preparation and also a lot
of other communities, they are using life insurance to pass
on generational wealth. So we should definitely be doing this
because the thing is, you cannot take care of your
people in spirit if you did not plan and paper. Okay,
(09:56):
because after you go that, we're not going to be
able to sign the papers and get this stuff done.
So we want to do that. We want to get
that in order. And there's a little thing going here. Okay,
we're easing into We wanted to cover the serious hot
takes and unpopular opinions first, and we're going to ease
into the fun stuff. But the next one kind of
goes hand in hand with the others, and it's that
financial literacy is a form of self care. I don't
(10:19):
know about you, but I grew up on a household
where finances were a stressful topic. It was something we
didn't talk about, but I could see the energy around
it right like I knew that we were struggling. I
knew that we were in poverty. And the thing that
I learned dom is that avoidance is in peace. Knowing
your numbers is power. And I get it because I've
(10:40):
definitely been in spaces in my life. I was like, oh,
I don't want to open this up. I don't want
to look at these goddamn numbers. But then it's like, okay,
let's face the music figured out, so you can then
create a plan to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish. So, yes,
financial literacy is a former self care.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yes, yeah, I agree with that, and it's something that
will benefit you in the short term and the long term.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
All right.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So then that takes us to our fourth one, who
all right, we're coming in hot on this one, all right,
and we're still talking about money. It's okay to outgrow
that family motto of we don't talk about money. Yes,
(11:32):
if you don't talk about it, you don't know about it.
So if you are not, if your family doesn't teach
you about budgeting, about planning, then how are you supposed
to learn about it? And I'm not saying that your
(11:56):
ten year old needs to know how much money you
have in your bank account, but your ten year old
might be getting an allowance or might get money or
gift cards for their birthdays or holidays. They need to know.
(12:18):
It's helpful to teach them to start learning how to
manage their money. And so you've identify what are the
things that are developmentally appropriate for the people in your household.
But the we don't talk about money makes it feel
(12:40):
like money is this secret, y, awful thing that you
want to be, that you need to be afraid of.
And then you end up with young adults who no
longer live in your house, who have no idea how
to manage money, and that leads to them making poor
(13:06):
financial choices which might make them dependent on you. And
you're like, well, you're thirty five, why are you Why
am I paying all of your bills when you got
a job. It starts a whole cycle. So stop the cycle.
Figure out how to build wealth, intergenerational wealth, and eliminate
(13:31):
that we don't talk about money. Reframe that, change that up.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I love that quote that you said. You said, if
you don't talk about it, you don't know about it.
Ain't that the truth? Because when you do that, when
we don't talk about it, it also bleeds into our careers.
Like I think about when I was first starting off
in my career, I wasn't trying to ask for promotion
or ask other colleagues, oh what's your salary, or just
having those conversations and that'll keep you in the dark,
and you'll later find out that people are making wait
(13:59):
more than you for very it's reasons. And so what
I've learned, especially working in corporate and the Silicon Valley,
is like wealthy families they teach, they don't tiptoe, they
don't tiptoe around money. They talk about money. So let's
break the taboo. Okay, now this next one here, well,
get ready for this, lady. Okay, get ready, you're ready.
You don't have to stay loyal to someone just because
(14:20):
you've been through struggle together or you've been together forever. Okay,
to take a moment, people, Okay, like did you take
that in right? Share? Trauma is not a reason to stay.
It's a reason to heal. And sometimes that means you
also got to bounce. But I remember dom, I would
(14:42):
hear or see people who have been together forever, right,
they were together for like ten or twenty thirty years,
and they were not happy, like they both were doing
their own things on the side. They weren't happy at all,
but they were just like, oh, well, we've just been
together for this long. I don't want to start all over.
And I get it, right, everyone has their reasons. We
I think we have an episode about that as well.
(15:02):
But listen, just because you don't been there. If you
feel in your spirit that it's time to transition to
a different phase in life and that means leaving that relationship,
that person, whatever it might be, then you should listen
to listen to your intuition.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yes, it is not worth it. It is not worth
it for you or for that person, and it's not
worth it for the kids if there are kids involved.
All right, So this next one, you can love the
church and still call out church hurt. It is not blasphemous.
(15:39):
It does not make you a bad Christian or insert
whatever religious order in this statement. If you acknowledge the
things that are not good. Just like you can tell
someone in your family, I'm saying this because I love
(16:03):
you and i want better for you, you can say
the same thing about the Church that the Church in
and of itself, or whatever religious affiliation you have in
and of itself is not perfect. Nothing is perfect, and
(16:28):
if it's not called out or called in whichever way
you want to frame it, change can't happen. The hard things,
the bad things, the unhealthy things, will continue to happen
until it is acknowledged, and it is okay. It's actually
(16:51):
more loving depending on how you do it to point
out the things that are harmful. You cannot fix what
is not put out there.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
As facts as facts. I used to have a pastor
that you used to say the church is run by humans,
Like there are humans that are doing the work, So
it's going to be flawed, there will be like you
may experience her. But I think what you said is
really powerful, and accountability and faith can coexist. And it's
so important to question harmful traditions. That is not rebellion.
(17:24):
It is spiritual maturity. I think that as I've grown,
even within families, like you see things that may you
maybe didn't question before. But if something doesn't seem right
these days and you're like, this is actually harmful, we
should be able to ask questions, right, And if we're
ever in a space where people are not encouraging us
to be curious, that should be a signal for us, like,
(17:46):
let me pause and go within on this one, okay,
because I believe we have all the answers within, all right,
So this next one right here, oh all right, get ready,
get ready. You don't have to be in relationship with
your family if they are disrespectful or hurtful. Oh my goodness,
this one is so good. And for our community in particular,
(18:07):
I feel like this can be a tricky one, definitely
an unpopular opinion in some cases, because a lot of
people think that because you share the same blood, you
have to be in connection. But blood does not excuse
bad behavior. You can love and listen, let's say it.
Let's say it. Blood does not excuse bad behavior, and
you can love people from a distance and still on yourself.
(18:29):
I've talked about a lot of my family dynamics and
you know stuff on the podcast. Now. I have been
as strange. I was thinking about this earlier. I've been
as strange for my mom for almost six years now,
dom And I tell you this has been the best
decision I've made in my life after being pulled into
this sort of manipulative cycle. When I finally went no
contact girl, my life is so peaceful. I can forgive
(18:51):
love her, send her good energy, and I don't feel
those same feelings that I used to have because the
behavior hasn't changed. So I don't just let anyone have
access to me or be in my life. I don't
care what the title role is. So this is so
important because I think a lot of times people get
guilted into being in relationship with people who are still
harming them, who are still bringing drama and nonsense and
(19:13):
chaos into their lives, messing up their quality of life.
Only get one of these right here.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
So yes, yes, I agree with that. And what I
will add to that is something that I see a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, is.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Going no contact or cutting people out of your life. Yeah,
without first communicating right that part?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
That part And.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
So for me, when I when someone is at that
point where they're saying, I am I no longer want
to have a relationship with this family member, for me,
it's best if it comes after there has been con
(20:02):
or some level of communication where that where the impact,
the hurt, the harm has been brought to the other
person's attention. So if I said something that hurt your
feelings and I didn't realize and you cut me off,
(20:24):
no contact, block me all the things, and say, oh,
this relationship is done without first trying to repair, that's
not helpful to either one of you. But if you
have communicated, if you attempted to have conversation with this
person or people about the harm, about what they did
(20:47):
that was hurtful or disrespectful, and then they still refuse
to acknowledge it or refuse to make any changes. Okay,
then we can say, yes, let's figure out what's going
to be the best course of action to protect ourselves,
to protect our peace. The conversation have to be had first.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I feel like we have to do a deeper episode
on this because this is a good one and I
love that you made that distinction because I just want
to say that a lot of times I do see
people go no contact to bypass right. It's just like, oh,
someone says something, I'm just gonna not be in touch.
But there should be there's more to that. So lady,
we're gonna have to have another conversation, a deeper dive
(21:31):
into that. But that is good. I'm glad that you
brought that point up. So should we dive into the
next one here?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yes? Okay, so we're still talking about family right now. Yes,
living under someone's room doesn't mean they get to control
your life, all right. So for all my younger listeners
out there, yes, if you were under the age of eighteen,
(22:00):
this is not for you.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
But it's a little different.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
This is this This one ain't for you, Okay. This
is for those folks who are adults and they are
sharing space with someone else. Right, so you are maybe
you're a college student and you still live at home,
(22:27):
or maybe you are an adult who is still living
at home for whatever reason. No judgment, right, because in
these economic terms, if I could live at home, I
probably would too. So the point of this one, this opinion,
is that just because someone lives, you're living under someone
(22:50):
else's roof. They don't have the right to control everything
in your life. Now, let me be clear. They do
have a saying some things and how they have a
say in how their householder is run. Yes, right, but
they don't have the right to control when you come
(23:11):
and go. They can ask because it is their home,
but they don't have control over that. They don't have
control over your mail. They don't, which I know is
something in a lot of families. Yes, if that mail
(23:34):
comes to my house and I'm the person paying the mortgage,
I get to get.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
A SA That is wild and illegal. Okay, yeah, but listen,
tell black, tell all black failure that they're like, oh
it's my address, I'm open.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Your name is not on it. It is not for you,
and that is illegal.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
So dom my, I guess it's my unpopular opinion here
is if somebody's living in under my roof, I'm down
for the curfew because I'm like, you're not gonna be
coming up in my house all times a night. But
as far as controlling aspects of their life, I know
family members, like you said, they're looking through their stuff,
Like why are you looking through my personal belongings? That's too,
Like that's out of control, right, you are trying to
(24:19):
determine who this person is like dating or who they're
with when they're an adult, you know what I mean.
Like there's this other level of like humiliation or manipulation
that comes along with it. And it's like, if that's
the case, let me find another place to be right,
if I have the means to do that, because this
is just Yeah, So I think, like you said, there
are some guidelines. If it's your house, of course, you
(24:40):
have rules, and people need defile them, whether it's they
pay a certain amount or clean. But like controlling that
person in that way, come on, now, gotta respect the
human as well and their.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Boundary exactly exactly. That's about it. That's what you think
and out of them here, and that's about you trying
to have control over things that you don't necessarily need
to have control over.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Okay, now let's talk about something that we can control.
The next one here, we're actually on a number nine. Lady.
You're never too old to change. Wisdom doesn't mean you
stop growing. I cannot tell you how many people that
I have. It's mostly a family I feel like I've
interacted with, or they just kind of accept this notion
(25:22):
of oh, well, I've always been this way, so I'm
just going to be this way. Yeah, I've always believed
this and I get it though, Like when you are
so accustomed to a certain pattern, it can be very
challenging to change, especially when you're older. Right, But it
doesn't mean you're too old to change. You can change, right,
You can if you want to, if you put in
the work. And so, yeah, I don't necessarily subscribe to this,
(25:42):
like growth doesn't expire. And I love the idea of
being a lifelong learner, but usually when you are around
people who are not trying to grow, there's going to
be some friction, especially if you are on a growth
path or you're going to have some perspectives that don't
align and there's going to be friction. So yeah, I say,
how old you are, you should be able to grow,
evolve and get better and not just keep I'm thinking
(26:04):
about toxic patterns right now down like, oh, I've been
communicating this way and talking like this, so I'm just
gonna say this way, well, and we want to really
work for you, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Because maybe it's not and you're just you're you. You've
adapted to it, but it's not working for you, right,
and so you know. And the thing that I think
about too is that, like I constantly try to tell
myself that like that, I that I am a person
who is open to growing and open to change. Yes,
(26:38):
but the reality is that change is hard. And what
I find myself fighting is when someone younger wants to
show me something that I am pretty set in this
works for me, like it truly works for me.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Where I find myself fighting is Okay, well, if this
really truly is working for me, why do I need
to change it? And so that's the internal dialogue that
I'm that I have with myself of like, okay, let
me hear them out, and what would it hurt for
(27:23):
me to try it. Yeah, try this new way, and
if it truly doesn't work, then I go back to
the way I was doing it, right, Yeah, but also
being willing to to learn new things in general, Like
(27:46):
I think about technology, and I think about how technology
has evolved, right, And the thing that I also remind
myself is that when my grandparents were younger, they didn't
have microwaves. Like there are certain common things that I
(28:08):
use every day that they had to learn how to
use because it was invented in their lifetime. Yeah, right,
And if they were, if they were able to adapt
enough to use those things, then I can adapt to
(28:30):
the new technologies that are coming out in my lifetime.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
That's a good one. I like to where you frame that.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
All Right, so the next one, you know, now we're
gonna we're gonna shift the energy up a little bit
for this next half. You don't have to save your
good stuff for a special occasion. So use that shade
butter every day, you wear that perfume, wear that outfit,
(29:02):
Drink that fancy bottle of wine or cognac or whatever
it is.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
You use some dishes.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Listen, Okay, you don't have to save it for a
special occasion. Because one of the things that I have
learned or really feel has been a big theme this
year is that tomorrow is not promised. Yeah, like, I
(29:34):
don't know that. I can't even tell you. It has
been wild to me the number of people that I
know have experienced a loss, the death of a loved
one this year. Tomorrow isn't promised. So that that perfume
(29:57):
that you love that you I spent two hundred dollars
on wear it every day. You don't have to give
it ten sprays every day, but wear it every day. Right,
those special dishes that were a gift for your wedding,
(30:19):
you don't have to save those for a special occasion.
You and your partner eat dinner on those every night.
You don't have to wait to celebrate, wait for something
big to celebrate. You got all your things on your
to do list checked off today. Bet celebrate that.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I love it. I say, we are the special occasion,
Like we are here, Yes, we have the gift of life. Like,
let's stop waiting for permission to feel good? You know,
dom It makes me think about back in the day, right,
and I know you may be able to relate to
this as well. Lady. My grandmother had this nice white couch.
You already know how I'm going with this, And she
had this hard ass plastic on the couch and I
(31:03):
used to lay on the couch with her, watching her
her stories. And I remember that couch. The edges of
it used to sometimes scratch my leg up. It was
so uncomfortable. And now I think about it, I'm like,
I don't think we've ever actually felt the material of
that couch. I get that, you know, they'd be trying
to protect that special room or protect the protect the furniture,
But how can we still protect certain things but also
(31:25):
enjoy them?
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Right?
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Joy now beats someday every time, because, like you said,
tomorrow is not promised, and so there has to be
a way that we can feel more joy and experience
those things like take you know, if the kids are
not around, sit on that couch for a little bit,
just on it. You can put the rat back on it,
because I get that you don't want to mess it up,
but like, let's enjoy the things, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, ok, yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about
the couch. I think my grandparents had a living room,
they had their din and they had their living room,
and the living room was for special occasions. And you
may not even be caught going into the living room
bednot because there was another route to the other parts
of the house. Better not go in that living room.
(32:07):
Really special occasions, uh huh, like Christmas or there were
people visiting. Yes, like that, That's just what it was.
And so nowadays it's you know, I'm in people's homes nowadays,
and very few people have that special sitting room or
(32:30):
the plastic on the couch because we're using these things.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Okay, indeed, okay, So look the next one right now,
number eleven. We have a little I have a little story.
I don't want to share it with this one. So
this one is you can wear white after labor Day. Now,
for some of you, y like, what, of course you can,
But this is like an old school thing, right And Tom,
I was telling you before we started. I went to
(32:55):
this Chris Brown concert when I was in high school
in Philly, and I remember going. One of my friends
and this black older woman she were catching me and
my phone catching the bus, I think, and this older
black woman saw me, she said, you look cute, but
it's after labor day. You can't wear whit. I had
these white pants with this whole like shute little short top,
and I was just sat with me, sat with that.
(33:16):
I was just like it stuck with me. I was like, wait,
what can't we right after Labor Day? So I just
think this is one of those old myths that kind
of goes into what we just shared, like what you
can't w white? You can go white any time you
want to ask Lisa ree okay, because she'd be wearing
her white. Okay. Fashion has no season when confidence, confidences
are accessory. So I want a white shirt. That's so funny.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yes, you know when as you say that, I think about, like, yeah,
the rule used to be that I remember growing up
was it was between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Though,
that's the time when you were able to wear white
because that's signified summer.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
White was for the summer, particularly white shoes, white pants,
like white tops you could kind of get away with
because you had your quote unquote winter white like which
really was like cream or ivory but whatever. Yeah, And
it was a huge thing. And the thing that I
(34:20):
think about now is that particularly when we had like
we're experiencing climate change and all of that. That like
linen was supposed to be something that was also associated
with the summertime, right, and that you could only wear
linen during certain certain time period. Yeah, And it just
makes me think about the rules of fashion in general
(34:42):
and how times are changing and fashion is changing, and
also it kind of depends on where you live, Like
living in California, I can wear I can wear boots
in June because some sometimes it's cold.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Enough in the South.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Depending on the year, I might be in a tank
top on Christmas Day, right, yes, yes, And so like
the rules of fashion are not what they used to be,
and you could fight me on it, okay, period, because
I'm gonna wear that white all right. So then that
(35:28):
takes us to this next opinion. Every black woman has
a favorite hood perfume that we would proudly where again
today in the year twenty twenty five, I'm talking about
(35:48):
old school Victoria's secret bathroom bodyworks, the street vendor, so
love Spell, Sweet Pea, Egyptian Monks, and whatever concoction was
in those body oils, right, Okay, because listen, I was
a love Spell girly and I you know what I
(36:16):
haven't smelled it in a long time.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Really, it smells so good. It was like a high
school smell for me.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah, so sweet love like yeah, love Spell was like
high school college like ye. So, but I would venture
to say that, yes, I probably if I got my
hands on it, Yeah, I probably would wear it today.
And chances are then greedyans in it is probably infusing
(36:42):
some of the perfumes that I wear.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Now that's a good point, Domd. I think I actually
have some, or I have a scent as similar. So
when you come up and visit, I'm gonna spray it
less you smell it. But you're spot on with the
sense here. You know what else I thought about because
we were such a big bath and body Victoria's secret household,
and I feel like a lot of teen girls were
like us. All I smell in high school with love
spoke down the hallway. Amber romance, That's what my mom loved.
(37:06):
Ambra romance. Your Ambra romance was so good. I loved
some What was that it was like a white musk,
this some type of white musk from one of them,
and it smells so good. And then also the oils,
like you said from fifty second Street is where I
got mine in Philly, And you said, where'd you get
your zun?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Canal Street?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Canal Street? The body oils. They was hitting, all right, y'all.
So yeah, we gotta wear our we gotta wear our
special sense, even if it's from the hood. It's all good,
all right. So the next one here is number thirteen. Okay,
So number thirteen is R and B singers today don't
(37:43):
beg enough. Okay, we need some real nineties baby please energy,
that's what we need. I feel like they have some
some decent R and B artists today, but you have
to really search for them. I feel like we would
hear Oh my gosh, you know, I just had a
flashback of one Wish ray J find in the rain.
That was my ship one wish? What Yeah, that was
(38:05):
it right there? Mm hmm. R and B singers, yep, vulnerability,
the chest clutching, wasn't it? Ripping off white beaters? Right,
white tea? Or look it off? So listen all that I'm.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Here for like some boys to men, Yes, some babyface,
Oh my gosh, babyface, like babyface. I feel like defined
nineties R and B like he wrote for so many,
so many artists yes, give me some nineties, some good
(38:40):
old nineties R and B.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
All right.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
So then this next one, social media did its thing,
and some of our favorite celebrities like bow wow, They
were really like bow wow does that do?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Before social media came in and took away all the mystery,
Like social media came out, and now we got to
like we get to see too much, way too much,
too much what I don't need to know. I don't
want to know every detail of my favorite celebrities life.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
There are some things that need to remain a mystery. Yeah,
so that I can continue to be attracted to you
and your music or your work, whatever it is that
you're doing. Because when I know too much m m,
then I fall out of love with you and I
don't even want to like support your work. Yeah, I
(39:50):
need I like the fantasy.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, we need the mystique, Like, don't give us everything.
When you say that, I'm like, I don't even think
I have a celebrity question anymore because I know I
don't see too much. I know too damn much. I'm
like cringe, Like was fine back in the day, Sweet lady,
sweet lazy lady, would you be mine, come on, Tyren
on the bus like Tyree's just fine, and seeing him
(40:17):
on social media, I mean, God, bless God, bless him
because I think Tyvey says had a lot going on.
But like some of the images in the behavior on
social media, I'm just like, okay, yeah, that that crushes
out the window. And then girl, Genuine, I hope they
don't ever hear this. I would be so because Genuine
was my childhood crush. I used to love him some
genuine and girl I went to go see him in
(40:37):
concert like years ago, not too long ago, but as
an adult, and I cringed. I was like, this is
not sexy, Like this is not cute to me anymore.
And I was just like my childhood fantasy was ruin. Yeah.
I get that they're human, Yes, they are.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Just like they do all the same things that we do. Yes,
But but I don't need to know that you do all.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
I don't need to know it. I don't want to
see it. Okay, I don't see it. That's the unpopular opinion.
All right, So this next one, lady, you maybe listen.
We are all about love and good vibes. You really
don't want you might want to fight us on this
one or the next one here. Number fifteen is sugar
goes in your oatmeal, not your grits, okay for real
(41:28):
family on that one. Yeah, I know. People put it
in spaghetti too. I'm supposed to. For my you don't.
You don't put it in spaghetti. No, when I make
it at home, I don't. But I feel like at
my grandmother's house they will put it in spaghetti like
a little dash, and I was fine with it, but
I don't put it in there when I cook for
my grits, I like it more savory. So I'm like salt, pepper,
(41:50):
some seasoning, some cheese, you know, crinkled bacon in there.
Like that's my vibe, nice and creamy. Yeah, so I'm not.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
That's how grits are supposed to be made. They're made
to be savory. I'm sorry again, Fight me on it.
Grits are supposed to be savory. If you're not, like
you know, and if you want to level up your grits,
add some smoke gouda cheese to it, give it some
extra flavor right now. No sugar though, absolutely not. That's
(42:21):
what creama wheat is for. And I don't even get
that I can't do creama wheat, don't give it to me.
Nois yeahd unpopular opinion over here, I'm not doing cream
and wheat. I'm good.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
I'm good on the sugar in my grits. I'm sorry, y'all,
but I'm good on it.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
I can't do it all right, So our last unpopular opinion.
Cleanliness is next to godliness before we visit our waxer
or the doctor. Yeah, listen, please take care of your
(42:58):
hygiene before you go, oh and visit the doctor, right,
also before you go to the waxer, Like, don't go
to these appointments. And I understand that part of what
they're going to them for is for them to examine
(43:19):
you and to be all up in spaces that most
people should not be in. Please take a shower or
use something in a hygiene.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Wipe, something something.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
To clean yourself before you're exposing yourself to your waxer
or your doctor. And to add on to that kind
of separately, but still in the cleanliness next to godliness
unpopular opinion. I do some cleaning before my housekeeper comes.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
That's just I just that is so funny, but I
feel it one hundred. I feel like, let me just
tigy up a little bit so it's not too that's
such a I feel like that's such a black woman thing.
I don't know. Maybe it's just grew how we grew up.
I don't know, but I'm with you on that. But honestly,
I feel like when I go to the doctor, dom
you know, even if you're out and you're having a
busy day, I usually have wipes with me, so, like
(44:14):
you said, I wipe. It's the bedet if you can.
But I literally, I'm probably call me extra, but I'm
wearing mash and panties and bras like the doctor about
to get some. But just because I feel like, growing up,
we heard when you go to the doctor you dress
a certain way. But my grandmother always used to say,
make sure you wear clean undergarments because in case something
happens when you're out and about, you don't want them cut.
(44:35):
Was in a car accident when I was younger and
they had to cut my shirt and everything was just exposed.
You don't want to be in a situation where you're
out here look at a certain way. But honestly, when
you're in a traumatic situation, it's like you're an accident.
You don't care about your underwear, you can, yeah, but
I think that exactly. I think it's just one of
those old school things that stuck with me. So I'm
definitely cleaning, getting everything trimmed, making it look good. And
(44:58):
that's just what we do. Yeah for going to the
doctors or the waxer, because you ain't about to be
talking about me like y'all. She was up in here, funky,
she had dookie, stays at her jaws about to get
We're about to clean.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Everything up everything. Yes, yes, all of the.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Things must be cleaned. So lady sums up the unpopular
opinions that we have. Let us know at her spase
podcast on Instagram. What would you add to the list,
what you disagree with, what would you remove? Like, give
us your feedback, let us know. I already know somebody's
gonna be like girls, sugar, sugar and grits. That's the
one I think people are gonna say something about. And
(45:36):
that's yeah, that's the first one that comes to mind
for me. Is there anyone in particularly down where you're
like somebody going to say have something to say? Oh
about this one?
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Well, I'm sure they're gonna have something to say about it.
A lot of them. Oh yeah, it's okay because, like
we said at the beginning, I'm gonna bring us back
to our quote of the day for a gentle reminder.
Oh my goodness, we're right, but we'll discuss it anyway.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
You got to see Donald Space what she did that.
You have to go to our website, herspacepodcast dot com,
click anywhere you see Patreons. You can watch the video
episodes as well. We want you to see us, lady, okay,
but dom yeah, you have to see the facial expression
and the motion that she did as she was saying
that we're going to go record the after show now, ladies,
So we're going to go do that. You can catch
the after show video episode as well on Patreon. So
(46:22):
come check us out and we'll see you next week,
same time, same place. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or
unsure of your next steps, this is for you. Hey, lady,
is Tea here, and I just want to invite you
to my free goal map, like a pro coaching workshop,
where I'll share the five proven steps to get unstuck
and achieve your goals. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all
(46:46):
your ideas, juggling scattered ideas, or maybe you just need
confidence to start. This workshop will give you the clarity,
tools and the motivation to take back control. Reserve your
spot for free by visiting her podcast dot com and
clicking on the goal map like a pro webinar link. Lady,
don't miss this chance to build a roadmap that fits
(47:07):
your life and set you up for success. I hope
to see you there.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Thanks for tuning into Cultivating her Space. Remember that while
this podcast is all about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's
not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you
know need support, check out resources like Therapy for Black
Girls for Psychology Today. If you love today's episode, do
(47:35):
us a favor and share it with a friend who
needs some inspiration or leave us a quick five star review.
Your support means the world to us and helps keep
this space thriving.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
And before we meet again, repeat after me. I release
the old with gratitude and prepare for the new with intention.
Keep thriving, Lady, and tune in next Friday for more
inspiration from Cultivating her Space. In the meantime, be sure
to connect with us on Instagram at her space podcast
On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. Share trauma
is not our reason to stay, It's a reason to heal,
and sometimes that means you also got a bounce.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hey, lady, have you ever felt like the world just
doesn't get you? Well, we do.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting
and empowering women like you.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard, and educator and psychologists.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from
fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black
women to just be.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow
button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady.
We are black founded and black owned, and your support
will help us reach even more women like you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.
Are you currently a resident of the state of California
in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please
reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.
That's d R D O M I n I q
(01:29):
U E B R O U s s ar D
dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I
look forward to hearing from you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Our quote of the day is given. I'm right, but
let's discuss it anyway, says every black woman with receipts
and restraint. And I'm gonna say this one more time
for y'all. I'm right, but let's discuss it anyway. Alright.
T So we know that that quote was a little cheeky,
(02:04):
but it fits our discussion for today.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yes it does. Indeed, it makes me think about those
instances where like you have the receipts, you already know
that you know that, you know that you know what
you're talking about, and you're right. But because we're evolving,
because we're healing in a hold space for other people
to be able to share, let them, you know, share
even when they're wrong. This is how we feel on
(02:32):
the inside. We may not always say it out loud,
but this is how we feel in these side Sometimes yes.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yes, yes, and it's you know all right, well, yeah,
we can have this discussion because I know it'll make
you feel better. And also sometimes we're gonna have this discussion,
because as we talk it out, you'll eventually come around
to what I said in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, the right way.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm right exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, lady, as you can tell, we're feeling a little
like down said, a little cheeky, a little petty. You know,
every once in a while, you gotta be a little petty.
Let's not even get into a girl now you got,
Now I'm over. I think about Cardi B's album. Yes,
I watched Queue Up Pretty and Petty. But anyway, lady,
today we are feeling bold. Okay, we are feeling bold
(03:25):
on this episode.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, like like super bold, real bold, like don't cancel us,
just hear us out bold, like bring it back to
our quote of the day. M h, we're right, but
let's discuss it anyway.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
We listen and we don't judge. Isn't that what they
say on social media? Yes, guys, listen, today's episode is
really all about those unpopular opinions, you know, the ones
you might whisper to your girlfriends or you might post
it in the group chat, but you wouldn't never posted online.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, yes, I love my people, but we got to
talk about this kind of opinion.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yes, indeed, yes, indeed. So here's the thing, lady. Some
of these are cultural myths, some are just hilarious hot takes,
and some well, let's just say that your auntie and
maybe even your grandma my side side eye us. Okay,
they see us the cookout because some of these, yeah,
(04:37):
it's gonna get interesting. It's about to get real.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It's about to get real, and it's all love, right,
it's all in love. Because we're talking about the things
that all of us do or all of us say,
and we want to make sure that we're kind of conveying.
So as you're listening, some of this will will start
(05:02):
off in topics that's seen not seen. They are pretty serious,
and by the end of this episode, lady, we hope
that you are laughing with us and saying, oh, yeah,
they are right about that.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Indeed, indeed, even if you disagree, make sure you go
over to our Instagram at her Space podcast and you
just drop it on any posts like let us know
what you would add to the list or what you
disagree with. We want to hear your opinion as well,
and we want you to get ready, okay, get ready,
get cozy, get ready to join the conversation in your
(05:44):
head like you always do. Okay, you know we're your
homegirls or sister friends or auntie's in your head, whatever
you like to call us. So let's get ready.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
All right, So hear us out. Okay, whenever you start
with that, listen, hear us out, and know that you
can walk away from this saying that you're glad that
we said it out loud. Okay, even it real.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So should we dive into number one? The first, the
first unpopular opinion? Now, the first unpopular opinion is that
writing a will doesn't attract death, it attracts peace. Now.
I know you might be like, girl, this is morbid,
But honestly, when you think about it, especially in this
day age now, I don't know about you, I feel
(06:38):
like times have just changed. I feel like there maybe
it's because of social media, but there appear to be
so many more like tragedies and just unexpected wild things
happening these days versus back in the day. Like I
was thinking about all the accidents that I see now,
just an example, Okay, lady at amusement parks, I used
to be a roller coaster girl, Girl, I'm getting on
no motherfucker roller coaster to these day, I'm done. I
(07:01):
went to six Flags. I want to you know, all
the water parks, So City, all that stuff when I
was younger. I'm not doing it these days. It's too
risky to me. So when it comes to this will, right,
this first one here, it's not morbid, its maturity. Preparation
is protection. We should all be doing this in preparing
because death is the only thing that we can guarante,
(07:24):
one of the only things that we can guarantee in
this lifetime. It's gonna we're all gonna meet that experience
at some point. And when you think about it, a
will is love and writing right, it gives you a
family peace, not panic. I can't think of how many
times I've witnessed this in my family where somebody passed
away and people are fighting over the goddamn bed and
the house and the car, like all the things. It's
(07:46):
just like the shoes and the jewelry. It's like we
could have prepared for that in advance, and so it'd
be really helpful if we. I know, you're probably damn y'all.
Y'all came in hot, but this is the first one.
We're gonna get lighter in a minute. But it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I have a will, yeah, I yes, yes, yes, yes,
you need a will. And so then that takes us
to the next one that is related. It's we all
need life insurance because peace of mind is a love language.
(08:24):
So just like you have that will, having that life
insurance is about the love that you are offering to
your family once you were gone. Right. And the thing
about the life insurance that I wish people knew is
(08:46):
that it is cheaper for you to pay into it
the earlier in life you start, and over time it's
better to have the whole life insurance versus a term
life policy. Now I am not an insurance agent, so
this is not meant to be advice. Let me just
add that disclaimer in there. All your insurance agents don't
(09:09):
come for me later. I'm just saying from what I
know from personal experience, having a whole life policy from
early on, like as early as you can get it
is better for you and your loved ones in the
(09:32):
long run.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yes, and again it all goes back to peace, protecting
our peace, and honestly, get them for your kids as well,
Like this is all about preparation and also a lot
of other communities, they are using life insurance to pass
on generational wealth. So we should definitely be doing this
because the thing is, you cannot take care of your
people in spirit if you did not plan and paper. Okay,
(09:56):
because after you go that, we're not going to be
able to sign the papers and get this stuff done.
So we want to do that. We want to get
that in order. And there's a little thing going here. Okay,
we're easing into We wanted to cover the serious hot
takes and unpopular opinions first, and we're going to ease
into the fun stuff. But the next one kind of
goes hand in hand with the others, and it's that
financial literacy is a form of self care. I don't
(10:19):
know about you, but I grew up on a household
where finances were a stressful topic. It was something we
didn't talk about, but I could see the energy around
it right like I knew that we were struggling. I
knew that we were in poverty. And the thing that
I learned dom is that avoidance is in peace. Knowing
your numbers is power. And I get it because I've
(10:40):
definitely been in spaces in my life. I was like, oh,
I don't want to open this up. I don't want
to look at these goddamn numbers. But then it's like, okay,
let's face the music figured out, so you can then
create a plan to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish. So, yes,
financial literacy is a former self care.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yes, yeah, I agree with that, and it's something that
will benefit you in the short term and the long term.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
All right.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So then that takes us to our fourth one, who
all right, we're coming in hot on this one, all right,
and we're still talking about money. It's okay to outgrow
that family motto of we don't talk about money. Yes,
(11:32):
if you don't talk about it, you don't know about it.
So if you are not, if your family doesn't teach
you about budgeting, about planning, then how are you supposed
to learn about it? And I'm not saying that your
(11:56):
ten year old needs to know how much money you
have in your bank account, but your ten year old
might be getting an allowance or might get money or
gift cards for their birthdays or holidays. They need to know.
(12:18):
It's helpful to teach them to start learning how to
manage their money. And so you've identify what are the
things that are developmentally appropriate for the people in your household.
But the we don't talk about money makes it feel
(12:40):
like money is this secret, y, awful thing that you
want to be, that you need to be afraid of.
And then you end up with young adults who no
longer live in your house, who have no idea how
to manage money, and that leads to them making poor
(13:06):
financial choices which might make them dependent on you. And
you're like, well, you're thirty five, why are you Why
am I paying all of your bills when you got
a job. It starts a whole cycle. So stop the cycle.
Figure out how to build wealth, intergenerational wealth, and eliminate
(13:31):
that we don't talk about money. Reframe that, change that up.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I love that quote that you said. You said, if
you don't talk about it, you don't know about it.
Ain't that the truth? Because when you do that, when
we don't talk about it, it also bleeds into our careers.
Like I think about when I was first starting off
in my career, I wasn't trying to ask for promotion
or ask other colleagues, oh what's your salary, or just
having those conversations and that'll keep you in the dark,
and you'll later find out that people are making wait
(13:59):
more than you for very it's reasons. And so what
I've learned, especially working in corporate and the Silicon Valley,
is like wealthy families they teach, they don't tiptoe, they
don't tiptoe around money. They talk about money. So let's
break the taboo. Okay, now this next one here, well,
get ready for this, lady. Okay, get ready, you're ready.
You don't have to stay loyal to someone just because
(14:20):
you've been through struggle together or you've been together forever. Okay,
to take a moment, people, Okay, like did you take
that in right? Share? Trauma is not a reason to stay.
It's a reason to heal. And sometimes that means you
also got to bounce. But I remember dom, I would
(14:42):
hear or see people who have been together forever, right,
they were together for like ten or twenty thirty years,
and they were not happy, like they both were doing
their own things on the side. They weren't happy at all,
but they were just like, oh, well, we've just been
together for this long. I don't want to start all over.
And I get it, right, everyone has their reasons. We
I think we have an episode about that as well.
(15:02):
But listen, just because you don't been there. If you
feel in your spirit that it's time to transition to
a different phase in life and that means leaving that relationship,
that person, whatever it might be, then you should listen
to listen to your intuition.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yes, it is not worth it. It is not worth
it for you or for that person, and it's not
worth it for the kids if there are kids involved.
All right, So this next one, you can love the
church and still call out church hurt. It is not blasphemous.
(15:39):
It does not make you a bad Christian or insert
whatever religious order in this statement. If you acknowledge the
things that are not good. Just like you can tell
someone in your family, I'm saying this because I love
(16:03):
you and i want better for you, you can say
the same thing about the Church that the Church in
and of itself, or whatever religious affiliation you have in
and of itself is not perfect. Nothing is perfect, and
(16:28):
if it's not called out or called in whichever way
you want to frame it, change can't happen. The hard things,
the bad things, the unhealthy things, will continue to happen
until it is acknowledged, and it is okay. It's actually
(16:51):
more loving depending on how you do it to point
out the things that are harmful. You cannot fix what
is not put out there.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
As facts as facts. I used to have a pastor
that you used to say the church is run by humans,
Like there are humans that are doing the work, So
it's going to be flawed, there will be like you
may experience her. But I think what you said is
really powerful, and accountability and faith can coexist. And it's
so important to question harmful traditions. That is not rebellion.
(17:24):
It is spiritual maturity. I think that as I've grown,
even within families, like you see things that may you
maybe didn't question before. But if something doesn't seem right
these days and you're like, this is actually harmful, we
should be able to ask questions, right, And if we're
ever in a space where people are not encouraging us
to be curious, that should be a signal for us, like,
(17:46):
let me pause and go within on this one, okay,
because I believe we have all the answers within, all right,
So this next one right here, oh all right, get ready,
get ready. You don't have to be in relationship with
your family if they are disrespectful or hurtful. Oh my goodness,
this one is so good. And for our community in particular,
(18:07):
I feel like this can be a tricky one, definitely
an unpopular opinion in some cases, because a lot of
people think that because you share the same blood, you
have to be in connection. But blood does not excuse
bad behavior. You can love and listen, let's say it.
Let's say it. Blood does not excuse bad behavior, and
you can love people from a distance and still on yourself.
(18:29):
I've talked about a lot of my family dynamics and
you know stuff on the podcast. Now. I have been
as strange. I was thinking about this earlier. I've been
as strange for my mom for almost six years now,
dom And I tell you this has been the best
decision I've made in my life after being pulled into
this sort of manipulative cycle. When I finally went no
contact girl, my life is so peaceful. I can forgive
(18:51):
love her, send her good energy, and I don't feel
those same feelings that I used to have because the
behavior hasn't changed. So I don't just let anyone have
access to me or be in my life. I don't
care what the title role is. So this is so
important because I think a lot of times people get
guilted into being in relationship with people who are still
harming them, who are still bringing drama and nonsense and
(19:13):
chaos into their lives, messing up their quality of life.
Only get one of these right here.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
So yes, yes, I agree with that. And what I
will add to that is something that I see a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, is.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Going no contact or cutting people out of your life. Yeah,
without first communicating right that part?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
That part And.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
So for me, when I when someone is at that
point where they're saying, I am I no longer want
to have a relationship with this family member, for me,
it's best if it comes after there has been con
(20:02):
or some level of communication where that where the impact,
the hurt, the harm has been brought to the other
person's attention. So if I said something that hurt your
feelings and I didn't realize and you cut me off,
(20:24):
no contact, block me all the things, and say, oh,
this relationship is done without first trying to repair, that's
not helpful to either one of you. But if you
have communicated, if you attempted to have conversation with this
person or people about the harm, about what they did
(20:47):
that was hurtful or disrespectful, and then they still refuse
to acknowledge it or refuse to make any changes. Okay,
then we can say, yes, let's figure out what's going
to be the best course of action to protect ourselves,
to protect our peace. The conversation have to be had first.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I feel like we have to do a deeper episode
on this because this is a good one and I
love that you made that distinction because I just want
to say that a lot of times I do see
people go no contact to bypass right. It's just like, oh,
someone says something, I'm just gonna not be in touch.
But there should be there's more to that. So lady,
we're gonna have to have another conversation, a deeper dive
(21:31):
into that. But that is good. I'm glad that you
brought that point up. So should we dive into the
next one here?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yes? Okay, so we're still talking about family right now. Yes,
living under someone's room doesn't mean they get to control
your life, all right. So for all my younger listeners
out there, yes, if you were under the age of eighteen,
(22:00):
this is not for you.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
But it's a little different.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
This is this This one ain't for you, Okay. This
is for those folks who are adults and they are
sharing space with someone else. Right, so you are maybe
you're a college student and you still live at home,
(22:27):
or maybe you are an adult who is still living
at home for whatever reason. No judgment, right, because in
these economic terms, if I could live at home, I
probably would too. So the point of this one, this opinion,
is that just because someone lives, you're living under someone
(22:50):
else's roof. They don't have the right to control everything
in your life. Now, let me be clear. They do
have a saying some things and how they have a
say in how their householder is run. Yes, right, but
they don't have the right to control when you come
(23:11):
and go. They can ask because it is their home,
but they don't have control over that. They don't have
control over your mail. They don't, which I know is
something in a lot of families. Yes, if that mail
(23:34):
comes to my house and I'm the person paying the mortgage,
I get to get.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
A SA That is wild and illegal. Okay, yeah, but listen,
tell black, tell all black failure that they're like, oh
it's my address, I'm open.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Your name is not on it. It is not for you,
and that is illegal.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
So dom my, I guess it's my unpopular opinion here
is if somebody's living in under my roof, I'm down
for the curfew because I'm like, you're not gonna be
coming up in my house all times a night. But
as far as controlling aspects of their life, I know
family members, like you said, they're looking through their stuff,
Like why are you looking through my personal belongings? That's too,
Like that's out of control, right, you are trying to
(24:19):
determine who this person is like dating or who they're
with when they're an adult, you know what I mean.
Like there's this other level of like humiliation or manipulation
that comes along with it. And it's like, if that's
the case, let me find another place to be right,
if I have the means to do that, because this
is just Yeah, So I think, like you said, there
are some guidelines. If it's your house, of course, you
(24:40):
have rules, and people need defile them, whether it's they
pay a certain amount or clean. But like controlling that
person in that way, come on, now, gotta respect the
human as well and their.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Boundary exactly exactly. That's about it. That's what you think
and out of them here, and that's about you trying
to have control over things that you don't necessarily need
to have control over.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Okay, now let's talk about something that we can control.
The next one here, we're actually on a number nine. Lady.
You're never too old to change. Wisdom doesn't mean you
stop growing. I cannot tell you how many people that
I have. It's mostly a family I feel like I've
interacted with, or they just kind of accept this notion
(25:22):
of oh, well, I've always been this way, so I'm
just going to be this way. Yeah, I've always believed
this and I get it though, Like when you are
so accustomed to a certain pattern, it can be very
challenging to change, especially when you're older. Right, But it
doesn't mean you're too old to change. You can change, right,
You can if you want to, if you put in
the work. And so, yeah, I don't necessarily subscribe to this,
(25:42):
like growth doesn't expire. And I love the idea of
being a lifelong learner, but usually when you are around
people who are not trying to grow, there's going to
be some friction, especially if you are on a growth
path or you're going to have some perspectives that don't
align and there's going to be friction. So yeah, I say,
how old you are, you should be able to grow,
evolve and get better and not just keep I'm thinking
(26:04):
about toxic patterns right now down like, oh, I've been
communicating this way and talking like this, so I'm just
gonna say this way, well, and we want to really
work for you, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Because maybe it's not and you're just you're you. You've
adapted to it, but it's not working for you, right,
and so you know. And the thing that I think
about too is that, like I constantly try to tell
myself that like that, I that I am a person
who is open to growing and open to change. Yes,
(26:38):
but the reality is that change is hard. And what
I find myself fighting is when someone younger wants to
show me something that I am pretty set in this
works for me, like it truly works for me.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Where I find myself fighting is Okay, well, if this
really truly is working for me, why do I need
to change it? And so that's the internal dialogue that
I'm that I have with myself of like, okay, let
me hear them out, and what would it hurt for
(27:23):
me to try it. Yeah, try this new way, and
if it truly doesn't work, then I go back to
the way I was doing it, right, Yeah, but also
being willing to to learn new things in general, Like
(27:46):
I think about technology, and I think about how technology
has evolved, right, And the thing that I also remind
myself is that when my grandparents were younger, they didn't
have microwaves. Like there are certain common things that I
(28:08):
use every day that they had to learn how to
use because it was invented in their lifetime. Yeah, right,
And if they were, if they were able to adapt
enough to use those things, then I can adapt to
(28:30):
the new technologies that are coming out in my lifetime.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
That's a good one. I like to where you frame that.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
All Right, so the next one, you know, now we're
gonna we're gonna shift the energy up a little bit
for this next half. You don't have to save your
good stuff for a special occasion. So use that shade
butter every day, you wear that perfume, wear that outfit,
(29:02):
Drink that fancy bottle of wine or cognac or whatever
it is.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
You use some dishes.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Listen, Okay, you don't have to save it for a
special occasion. Because one of the things that I have
learned or really feel has been a big theme this
year is that tomorrow is not promised. Yeah, like, I
(29:34):
don't know that. I can't even tell you. It has
been wild to me the number of people that I
know have experienced a loss, the death of a loved
one this year. Tomorrow isn't promised. So that that perfume
(29:57):
that you love that you I spent two hundred dollars
on wear it every day. You don't have to give
it ten sprays every day, but wear it every day. Right,
those special dishes that were a gift for your wedding,
(30:19):
you don't have to save those for a special occasion.
You and your partner eat dinner on those every night.
You don't have to wait to celebrate, wait for something
big to celebrate. You got all your things on your
to do list checked off today. Bet celebrate that.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I love it. I say, we are the special occasion,
Like we are here, Yes, we have the gift of life. Like,
let's stop waiting for permission to feel good? You know,
dom It makes me think about back in the day, right,
and I know you may be able to relate to
this as well. Lady. My grandmother had this nice white couch.
You already know how I'm going with this, And she
had this hard ass plastic on the couch and I
(31:03):
used to lay on the couch with her, watching her
her stories. And I remember that couch. The edges of
it used to sometimes scratch my leg up. It was
so uncomfortable. And now I think about it, I'm like,
I don't think we've ever actually felt the material of
that couch. I get that, you know, they'd be trying
to protect that special room or protect the protect the furniture,
But how can we still protect certain things but also
(31:25):
enjoy them?
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Right?
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Joy now beats someday every time, because, like you said,
tomorrow is not promised, and so there has to be
a way that we can feel more joy and experience
those things like take you know, if the kids are
not around, sit on that couch for a little bit,
just on it. You can put the rat back on it,
because I get that you don't want to mess it up,
but like, let's enjoy the things, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, ok, yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about
the couch. I think my grandparents had a living room,
they had their din and they had their living room,
and the living room was for special occasions. And you
may not even be caught going into the living room
bednot because there was another route to the other parts
of the house. Better not go in that living room.
(32:07):
Really special occasions, uh huh, like Christmas or there were
people visiting. Yes, like that, That's just what it was.
And so nowadays it's you know, I'm in people's homes nowadays,
and very few people have that special sitting room or
(32:30):
the plastic on the couch because we're using these things.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Okay, indeed, okay, So look the next one right now,
number eleven. We have a little I have a little story.
I don't want to share it with this one. So
this one is you can wear white after labor Day. Now,
for some of you, y like, what, of course you can,
But this is like an old school thing, right And Tom,
I was telling you before we started. I went to
(32:55):
this Chris Brown concert when I was in high school
in Philly, and I remember going. One of my friends
and this black older woman she were catching me and
my phone catching the bus, I think, and this older
black woman saw me, she said, you look cute, but
it's after labor day. You can't wear whit. I had
these white pants with this whole like shute little short top,
and I was just sat with me, sat with that.
(33:16):
I was just like it stuck with me. I was like, wait,
what can't we right after Labor Day? So I just
think this is one of those old myths that kind
of goes into what we just shared, like what you
can't w white? You can go white any time you
want to ask Lisa ree okay, because she'd be wearing
her white. Okay. Fashion has no season when confidence, confidences
are accessory. So I want a white shirt. That's so funny.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yes, you know when as you say that, I think about, like, yeah,
the rule used to be that I remember growing up
was it was between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Though,
that's the time when you were able to wear white
because that's signified summer.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
White was for the summer, particularly white shoes, white pants,
like white tops you could kind of get away with
because you had your quote unquote winter white like which
really was like cream or ivory but whatever. Yeah, And
it was a huge thing. And the thing that I
(34:20):
think about now is that particularly when we had like
we're experiencing climate change and all of that. That like
linen was supposed to be something that was also associated
with the summertime, right, and that you could only wear
linen during certain certain time period. Yeah, And it just
makes me think about the rules of fashion in general
(34:42):
and how times are changing and fashion is changing, and
also it kind of depends on where you live, Like
living in California, I can wear I can wear boots
in June because some sometimes it's cold.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Enough in the South.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Depending on the year, I might be in a tank
top on Christmas Day, right, yes, yes, And so like
the rules of fashion are not what they used to be,
and you could fight me on it, okay, period, because
I'm gonna wear that white all right. So then that
(35:28):
takes us to this next opinion. Every black woman has
a favorite hood perfume that we would proudly where again
today in the year twenty twenty five, I'm talking about
(35:48):
old school Victoria's secret bathroom bodyworks, the street vendor, so
love Spell, Sweet Pea, Egyptian Monks, and whatever concoction was
in those body oils, right, Okay, because listen, I was
a love Spell girly and I you know what I
(36:16):
haven't smelled it in a long time.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Really, it smells so good. It was like a high
school smell for me.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah, so sweet love like yeah, love Spell was like
high school college like ye. So, but I would venture
to say that, yes, I probably if I got my
hands on it, Yeah, I probably would wear it today.
And chances are then greedyans in it is probably infusing
(36:42):
some of the perfumes that I wear.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Now that's a good point, Domd. I think I actually
have some, or I have a scent as similar. So
when you come up and visit, I'm gonna spray it
less you smell it. But you're spot on with the
sense here. You know what else I thought about because
we were such a big bath and body Victoria's secret household,
and I feel like a lot of teen girls were
like us. All I smell in high school with love
spoke down the hallway. Amber romance, That's what my mom loved.
(37:06):
Ambra romance. Your Ambra romance was so good. I loved
some What was that it was like a white musk,
this some type of white musk from one of them,
and it smells so good. And then also the oils,
like you said from fifty second Street is where I
got mine in Philly, And you said, where'd you get
your zun?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Canal Street?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Canal Street? The body oils. They was hitting, all right, y'all.
So yeah, we gotta wear our we gotta wear our
special sense, even if it's from the hood. It's all good,
all right. So the next one here is number thirteen. Okay,
So number thirteen is R and B singers today don't
(37:43):
beg enough. Okay, we need some real nineties baby please energy,
that's what we need. I feel like they have some
some decent R and B artists today, but you have
to really search for them. I feel like we would
hear Oh my gosh, you know, I just had a
flashback of one Wish ray J find in the rain.
That was my ship one wish? What Yeah, that was
(38:05):
it right there? Mm hmm. R and B singers, yep, vulnerability,
the chest clutching, wasn't it? Ripping off white beaters? Right,
white tea? Or look it off? So listen all that I'm.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Here for like some boys to men, Yes, some babyface,
Oh my gosh, babyface, like babyface. I feel like defined
nineties R and B like he wrote for so many,
so many artists yes, give me some nineties, some good
(38:40):
old nineties R and B.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
All right.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
So then this next one, social media did its thing,
and some of our favorite celebrities like bow wow, They
were really like bow wow does that do?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Before social media came in and took away all the mystery,
Like social media came out, and now we got to
like we get to see too much, way too much,
too much what I don't need to know. I don't
want to know every detail of my favorite celebrities life.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
There are some things that need to remain a mystery. Yeah,
so that I can continue to be attracted to you
and your music or your work, whatever it is that
you're doing. Because when I know too much m m,
then I fall out of love with you and I
don't even want to like support your work. Yeah, I
(39:50):
need I like the fantasy.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, we need the mystique, Like, don't give us everything.
When you say that, I'm like, I don't even think
I have a celebrity question anymore because I know I
don't see too much. I know too damn much. I'm
like cringe, Like was fine back in the day, Sweet lady,
sweet lazy lady, would you be mine, come on, Tyren
on the bus like Tyree's just fine, and seeing him
(40:17):
on social media, I mean, God, bless God, bless him
because I think Tyvey says had a lot going on.
But like some of the images in the behavior on
social media, I'm just like, okay, yeah, that that crushes
out the window. And then girl, Genuine, I hope they
don't ever hear this. I would be so because Genuine
was my childhood crush. I used to love him some
genuine and girl I went to go see him in
(40:37):
concert like years ago, not too long ago, but as
an adult, and I cringed. I was like, this is
not sexy, Like this is not cute to me anymore.
And I was just like my childhood fantasy was ruin. Yeah.
I get that they're human, Yes, they are.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Just like they do all the same things that we do. Yes,
But but I don't need to know that you do all.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
I don't need to know it. I don't want to
see it. Okay, I don't see it. That's the unpopular opinion.
All right, So this next one, lady, you maybe listen.
We are all about love and good vibes. You really
don't want you might want to fight us on this
one or the next one here. Number fifteen is sugar
goes in your oatmeal, not your grits, okay for real
(41:28):
family on that one. Yeah, I know. People put it
in spaghetti too. I'm supposed to. For my you don't.
You don't put it in spaghetti. No, when I make
it at home, I don't. But I feel like at
my grandmother's house they will put it in spaghetti like
a little dash, and I was fine with it, but
I don't put it in there when I cook for
my grits, I like it more savory. So I'm like salt, pepper,
(41:50):
some seasoning, some cheese, you know, crinkled bacon in there.
Like that's my vibe, nice and creamy. Yeah, so I'm not.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
That's how grits are supposed to be made. They're made
to be savory. I'm sorry again, Fight me on it.
Grits are supposed to be savory. If you're not, like
you know, and if you want to level up your grits,
add some smoke gouda cheese to it, give it some
extra flavor right now. No sugar though, absolutely not. That's
(42:21):
what creama wheat is for. And I don't even get
that I can't do creama wheat, don't give it to me.
Nois yeahd unpopular opinion over here, I'm not doing cream
and wheat. I'm good.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
I'm good on the sugar in my grits. I'm sorry, y'all,
but I'm good on it.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
I can't do it all right, So our last unpopular opinion.
Cleanliness is next to godliness before we visit our waxer
or the doctor. Yeah, listen, please take care of your
(42:58):
hygiene before you go, oh and visit the doctor, right,
also before you go to the waxer, Like, don't go
to these appointments. And I understand that part of what
they're going to them for is for them to examine
(43:19):
you and to be all up in spaces that most
people should not be in. Please take a shower or
use something in a hygiene.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Wipe, something something.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
To clean yourself before you're exposing yourself to your waxer
or your doctor. And to add on to that kind
of separately, but still in the cleanliness next to godliness
unpopular opinion. I do some cleaning before my housekeeper comes.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
That's just I just that is so funny, but I
feel it one hundred. I feel like, let me just
tigy up a little bit so it's not too that's
such a I feel like that's such a black woman thing.
I don't know. Maybe it's just grew how we grew up.
I don't know, but I'm with you on that. But honestly,
I feel like when I go to the doctor, dom
you know, even if you're out and you're having a
busy day, I usually have wipes with me, so, like
(44:14):
you said, I wipe. It's the bedet if you can.
But I literally, I'm probably call me extra, but I'm
wearing mash and panties and bras like the doctor about
to get some. But just because I feel like, growing up,
we heard when you go to the doctor you dress
a certain way. But my grandmother always used to say,
make sure you wear clean undergarments because in case something
happens when you're out and about, you don't want them cut.
(44:35):
Was in a car accident when I was younger and
they had to cut my shirt and everything was just exposed.
You don't want to be in a situation where you're
out here look at a certain way. But honestly, when
you're in a traumatic situation, it's like you're an accident.
You don't care about your underwear, you can, yeah, but
I think that exactly. I think it's just one of
those old school things that stuck with me. So I'm
definitely cleaning, getting everything trimmed, making it look good. And
(44:58):
that's just what we do. Yeah for going to the
doctors or the waxer, because you ain't about to be
talking about me like y'all. She was up in here, funky,
she had dookie, stays at her jaws about to get
We're about to clean.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Everything up everything. Yes, yes, all of the.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Things must be cleaned. So lady sums up the unpopular
opinions that we have. Let us know at her spase
podcast on Instagram. What would you add to the list,
what you disagree with, what would you remove? Like, give
us your feedback, let us know. I already know somebody's
gonna be like girls, sugar, sugar and grits. That's the
one I think people are gonna say something about. And
(45:36):
that's yeah, that's the first one that comes to mind
for me. Is there anyone in particularly down where you're
like somebody going to say have something to say? Oh
about this one?
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Well, I'm sure they're gonna have something to say about it.
A lot of them. Oh yeah, it's okay because, like
we said at the beginning, I'm gonna bring us back
to our quote of the day for a gentle reminder.
Oh my goodness, we're right, but we'll discuss it anyway.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
You got to see Donald Space what she did that.
You have to go to our website, herspacepodcast dot com,
click anywhere you see Patreons. You can watch the video
episodes as well. We want you to see us, lady, okay,
but dom yeah, you have to see the facial expression
and the motion that she did as she was saying
that we're going to go record the after show now, ladies,
So we're going to go do that. You can catch
the after show video episode as well on Patreon. So
(46:22):
come check us out and we'll see you next week,
same time, same place. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or
unsure of your next steps, this is for you. Hey, lady,
is Tea here, and I just want to invite you
to my free goal map, like a pro coaching workshop,
where I'll share the five proven steps to get unstuck
and achieve your goals. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all
(46:46):
your ideas, juggling scattered ideas, or maybe you just need
confidence to start. This workshop will give you the clarity,
tools and the motivation to take back control. Reserve your
spot for free by visiting her podcast dot com and
clicking on the goal map like a pro webinar link. Lady,
don't miss this chance to build a roadmap that fits
(47:07):
your life and set you up for success. I hope
to see you there.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Thanks for tuning into Cultivating her Space. Remember that while
this podcast is all about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's
not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you
know need support, check out resources like Therapy for Black
Girls for Psychology Today. If you love today's episode, do
(47:35):
us a favor and share it with a friend who
needs some inspiration or leave us a quick five star review.
Your support means the world to us and helps keep
this space thriving.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
And before we meet again, repeat after me. I release
the old with gratitude and prepare for the new with intention.
Keep thriving, Lady, and tune in next Friday for more
inspiration from Cultivating her Space. In the meantime, be sure
to connect with us on Instagram at her space podcast
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